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My wife told me she isn’t in love with me anymore

38yearold
Community Member

Hi all,

So my wife told me 8 days ago she isn’t in love with me anymore. We have booked some immediate counselling sessions, but she is cold, uninterested and won’t let me in.

We have a 5 year old boy. The consequences will be huge for him and financially as well.

I have been through so many emotions, fear, depression, anxiety and anger.

Not sure what to do. Looking for some guidance and support from you the community.

Many thanks in advance.

42 Replies 42

Burdy
Community Member

Hi 38yearold,

Oh dear. Can I ask if your wife was aware about the potential date?

I ask as I wonder if she is confusing her emotions, not wanting to stay in a marriage with you but also taken back by you moving on as you are a constant, a comfort zone if you will.

I think you have done the best thing for her (and yourself) by making her the appointment to get help. You are always quite well grounded and obviously still care for her and her well being.

Perhaps it may be an idea to give each other space while she seeks help to sort herself - you have both been through alot in a short space of time, she asked for space in the beginning perhaps now is time for you to ask her to take some space and work on herself for a while. Maybe limit contact to access arrangements with your child and give yourselves time and see if absence does make the heart grow fonder? And with clarity of mind once she has some help.

Please keep updating, it has been lovely to hear how you have been going and your posts are always positive and uplifting even through the pain and confusion.

Burdy

38yearold
Community Member

Thanks to all for your thoughts.

The GP has put my wife on an antidepressant as she needed it.

I have since packed my things and moved back to my parents house with my little boy. The emotional turmoil and crying from his mother was not for his eyes. My wife agreed.

I also told her we need space, she has applied for a flat and I said if she gets it while I am away to take it. Then we can reassess in 6 months. At the moment though we can’t be around each other, the emotions are to raw and our son may be 5, but he’s not stupid.

So that’s where we are right now.

Thanks for all the support and telling me I’m doing well, I feel like I am all over the place! Hahahaha

Hi 38yr old,

I congratulate you on what to me sounds like great decisions. Being around your parents and family during this difficult period will help you so much. Little things like taking your mind off everything for an hour will go along way. I also think the idea of reassesing in 6 months is a fantastic decision, it gives you both time to work through issues and time to discover what is best for your young one.

Keep on pushing through, there will be good days and bad days but remember that you have made it through 100% of the bad days and it seems to me like you are making great decisions.