PTSD and Trauma

Not wanting to be here - lack of empathy and family support

replies: 4

Hi everyone, Im 39 just turned and I’ve moved house over 58 times. I’ve had 20 incision operations in Metropolitan Hospitals, which is left me scarred my skin, horrible, and leaving me to find my own way home after my family didn’t pick me up because... View more

Hi everyone, Im 39 just turned and I’ve moved house over 58 times. I’ve had 20 incision operations in Metropolitan Hospitals, which is left me scarred my skin, horrible, and leaving me to find my own way home after my family didn’t pick me up because of the continuous skin condition that I had they thought that I could survive on my own, which was wrong. I was only 27 when it started so I’ve been living with the skin condition for 12 years. It gets worse with heat and stress.I came from a domestic violence relationship in 2013. Haven’t been with anybody since I’ve tried. but I feel like I’ve lost my sense of self my way and everything seems foggy and too hard to do. I’m trying to give myself a break, but it’s really difficult when getting onto NDIS is like trying to convince them I’m human. They don’t understand the severity of my mental health and having to gather all this information whilst having my mental illness, makes it extremely 10 times harder. I don’t have money so I don’t have thousands of dollars in savings. I can’t fund my own support workers because right now I need minimum four hours a day. I stopped seeing my friends when my mother kicked me out. When I was 16. series of events happened and I became depressed so I stopped seeing my friends when I was 19. She kicked all of us sisters out. I’m the second youngest I’ve got four sisters. She weaponises us to get back at my dad. She told us she would rather run away and be single than to have to look after us when we were kids. yes you could say that she’s not right as a parent. She’s toxic and I can’t wait for her to get on with her own life and leave us all alone. Apparently she is narcissistic and she is very abusive and a selfish person. my parents divorced when I was six. I haven’t worked in a job, like held tax, for over 12 years. Before then I worked every year. every time I try it’s exhausting. I get overwhelmingly stressed out and my brain just overflows with tiredness and I end up crying and I stressed out. Everything seems too hard and I have a breakdown. even interacting with other co-workers. I’ve explained this to employment agencies government funds like Centrelink. They’ve told me that they can put me on a disability support pension due to my posttraumatic stressed disorder, and the impact it has on my work because it’s going to be lifelong apparently but I really want to work with someone to get through this because before all this started in 2013 I was planning on having my own business, a support worker business, I wanted to start by cleaning homes. I started to clean doctors homes, and there are a lot of people off the Internet who required my help. I wanted to expand my skills and learn more about these qualifications that I needed, and I was gaslighted into believing that I couldn’t do any of that because I have a mental health condition so this guy wouldn’t let me move. So to speak. He was abusive. unless I believed I do what he wanted and acknowledge that I have a mental illness that will impact my working. that’s the guy I met online in 2013. i I feel like the abuse is so impacted. It gives me chronic pressure headaches Any advice would be greatthank you

I was here around 12 months ago as”cdtofi”

replies: 4

HiWell I thought I would introduce myself, as it was last year when I was here.Not sure if anyone remembers me or if some of the old members are still herei joined last time as cdtofiI would like to come back & write my traumatic history if anyone is... View more

HiWell I thought I would introduce myself, as it was last year when I was here.Not sure if anyone remembers me or if some of the old members are still herei joined last time as cdtofiI would like to come back & write my traumatic history if anyone is interestedBut It’s a bit late for me to be writing now, I think it’s time to sleepI usually only write it in my notes on my iPad..i feel if I can continually get it out I would feel better about myself But I’m also an emotional eater. i just can’t stop.I am 74 in a monthI now see a psychologistGood night ‘But I don’t feel like we are getting anywhere, I started last September

Starting a New JOB & My (Traumatic) Life is Catching Up With Me

replies: 10

Starting a new job is bringing up memories of my previous breakdownHi everyone, I’m in my mid-40s and have recently started working again after being unemployed for about four years. The job itself has been okay so far, and part of me is pleased to b... View more

Starting a new job is bringing up memories of my previous breakdownHi everyone, I’m in my mid-40s and have recently started working again after being unemployed for about four years. The job itself has been okay so far, and part of me is pleased to be working again. However, starting this job has brought up a lot of difficult thoughts and emotions that I wasn’t expecting. The last time I worked in customer service, I experienced a major breakdown. I gradually lost the ability to work full-time, could no longer afford my mortgage, and eventually lost my house. I think returning to the same type of work may be reminding me of that period, even though nothing particularly bad has happened in the new workplace.I have also been looking back at the amount of difficult material I have carried throughout my life. I was born with severe eyesight problems and two rare genetic conditions. One prevents my body from producing testosterone properly, which affected puberty and led to years of bullying and shame about my body. The other causes repeated basal cell carcinomas. I have had roughly 20 to 30 removed, many from my face. I have experienced sexual boundary violations, domestic violence, serious relationship difficulties, and years of feeling ashamed about my body and sexual functioning. My first romantic partner was experienced schizophrenia, it was undiagnosed and at the time I did not understand that what she believed was caused by psychosis. I thought it was really happening. It was a lot to process. We broke up after 3 years.. My sister also developed schizophrenia during this time from possible trauma and drug use while overseas and struggled with it for many years. She died in a car accident during a relapse a few years ago. I have experienced several other major losses in my family. My stepfather died suddenly from cancer in 2002. My biological father died in 2006 after my sister found him critically unwell at his house. He had apparently suffered a massive heart attack and later died in hospital from severe sepsis or septicaemia. Alcohol abuse had also badly affected his health, although the exact sequence of what happened was never completely clear to u My brother-in-law is now seriously ill and may be dying from a severe form of non-tuberculous mycobacterial disease. I am worried about him, the effect on the family, and what the future may look like for the younger family members, particularly my nephews. This is an ongoing source of stress rather than something that is safely in the past. I was also badly assaulted while trying to protect my mother from an abusive partner. I had recently undergone facial surgery, and the assault reopened my stitches and left me with a permanent scar. Later, the breakdown that affected my work happened around the end of a long-distance relationship. I had saved for years to visit the person overseas, but the relationship ended painfully soon afterwards. It felt as though my relationship, career, financial stability and home all disappeared around the same period. For most of my life, I have dealt with difficult experiences by being pragmatic. I have told myself that other people have it worse and that I should simply endure things and keep moving. I was also raised to believe that I needed to be tough. I am beginning to wonder whether I have minimised the effect all of this has had on me. I am not asking anyone to diagnose me. I am trying to understand why starting work again has caused so many old memories and emotions to surface, particularly when the new job itself has not been bad. I suspect that returning to customer service is reminding me of the period when I previously broke down, while the current situation with my brother-in-law is adding another layer of grief and uncertainty. Has anyone else found that returning to work, or returning to a similar type of workplace, brought back feelings associated with a previous breakdown? How did you separate understandable anxiety and old memories from signs that you were genuinely becoming unwell again? I would also appreciate hearing how others learned to acknowledge what they had been through without either minimising it or becoming overwhelmed by it. Thank you for reading.

Just from 1 caring person to another

replies: 3

I feel for you. Trauma is awful to go thru, even someone else’s I presume. You must be a very caring person to take other lives onboard. Can you not try to find a trusting person to talk to?I feel if I get it out, or even write it down that I do feel... View more

I feel for you. Trauma is awful to go thru, even someone else’s I presume. You must be a very caring person to take other lives onboard. Can you not try to find a trusting person to talk to?I feel if I get it out, or even write it down that I do feel a bit better.Good Luck

My mother, the narcissist

replies: 1

Hi! I wanted to share what’s been on my mind about my mother. I’m 19F, she is 57, and I’m the youngest of four children. During high school, especially from ages 13–16, I became more aware that my mum’s behaviour was abusive. Mother-daughter relation... View more

Hi! I wanted to share what’s been on my mind about my mother. I’m 19F, she is 57, and I’m the youngest of four children. During high school, especially from ages 13–16, I became more aware that my mum’s behaviour was abusive. Mother-daughter relationships feel complicated because we’re taught that maternal love is unconditional. I constantly dismissed my feelings with thoughts like, “But she’s my mother” or “She had a bad childhood,” especially because my parents are immigrants. As the youngest and a people pleaser, I struggled to express how I felt. Through research and talking to close friends, I came to believe my mother has strong narcissistic traits. She sees herself as the victim, avoids accountability, and responds to criticism with defensiveness or rage. During outbursts, she yells, swears, insults us, and can become physically aggressive. She then tells her family that she was the one who was wronged. Her family also has a long history of abuse; she is one of 13 siblings. Last December, my oldest sister confronted her after she threatened to kick out my other sister, who had recently had a baby. She told our mother she needed professional help. My mother contradicted herself, saying nothing was wrong with her while also blaming a childhood head injury for her behaviour. She said that if we didn’t want her angry, we should stop doing things that make her angry, even though her reactions are unpredictable. Eventually, she admitted she would rather continue suffering and drag us down than seek help because she genuinely believes she is not the problem. I’ve accepted that she may never change. I’m emotionally detached from her, although still living under her roof is draining. I’m comfortable with the distance, but not with what it means. It feels like a slap in the face to the younger versions of me who hoped she would become different. I also feel robbed of the future possibility of having a supportive mother if I ever have children. Even becoming a grandmother has not changed her. After each outburst, she acts normal again until the next one. It feels like a constant cycle of pretending, rage, disappointment, and thinking, “I’m not surprised.” I know better than to expect change, but part of me still grieves the mother I wish I had.Outside of this, I try to romanticise my life and enjoy time with my friends. Thank you for reading.

I lost myself somewhere along the way

replies: 1

Hi everyone,I've been sitting here for a long time trying to find the words because the brain fog is so bad. I don't really know what I'm hoping for other than to know I'm not alone.A workplace injury a few years ago changed everything. It wasn't jus... View more

Hi everyone,I've been sitting here for a long time trying to find the words because the brain fog is so bad. I don't really know what I'm hoping for other than to know I'm not alone.A workplace injury a few years ago changed everything. It wasn't just the injury itself, it was everything that happened afterwards. Over the last three years, it feels like my entire life has fallen apart.During the process I felt bullied, harassed, intimidated and eventually pushed out of my workplace. I also felt like it became incredibly difficult to receive the support I needed. Every time I tried to speak up for myself or advocate for what I needed, I felt shut down. Instead of standing my ground, I would end up people pleasing because I was scared of making things worse. It left me feeling powerless and like my voice didn't matter.Since then, I've struggled to trust people and find it difficult to be vulnerable. Wanting support and actually allowing myself to receive it feel like two completely different things. I often keep everything inside because I'm afraid of being dismissed, judged or becoming a burden.Sleep has become one of the hardest parts. Sometimes I barely sleep for days, and when I do, I wake up terrified and don't recognise where I am for a few moments. I've had nights filled with distressing dreams, but I often can't remember them, only the overwhelming fear they leave behind.I experience dissociation that is difficult to explain. Sometimes I feel disconnected from myself, my surroundings or even reality, like I'm just going through the motions and not fully present. There are moments where I don't feel grounded in reality, and it can be frightening and confusing.I carry this constant sense of fear, like I'm trapped and can't find a way out. My body and mind seem to stay on high alert even when I'm safe. Logically I know I am safe, but I don't feel safe. Everyday things that never used to bother me now feel overwhelming.Over the last three years, not only has my health changed, but many of my relationships have broken down too. I feel isolated and like I've slowly lost the life I knew. I don't recognise myself anymore, and I'm grieving the person I used to be.I also have a history of childhood trauma. For a long time I thought I'd coped with it, but after my workplace injury and everything that followed, it feels like something inside me has unravelled. I don't know whether it's connected, but it feels like my mind and body are reacting in ways I don't understand.I'm working with a psychologist, and we've recently started talking about whether trauma could explain some of what I'm experiencing. PTSD was mentioned as something we're exploring, but my psychologist also said it's not always helpful to focus on labels. I honestly don't understand what's happening to me anymore. I just know that I don't feel like the person I used to be.Has anyone else experienced something similar after a workplace injury or prolonged trauma? Did you struggle with trust, vulnerability, dissociation, feeling disconnected from reality, waking up terrified and disoriented, or feeling like your whole life slowly unravelled? Did your relationships suffer too?Most importantly... did things ever improve? Right now it's hard to imagine feeling like myself again, and I'd really appreciate hearing from anyone who understands.Thank you for taking the time to read this.

changing the system

replies: 2

i’m a victim of sexual abuse in childcare I was just a minor when it began when I was 14 yrs of age in residential care 2007 right up and till i was 22 when she then was on life support blaming me for her actions i wanted to change but she wasn’t let... View more

i’m a victim of sexual abuse in childcare I was just a minor when it began when I was 14 yrs of age in residential care 2007 right up and till i was 22 when she then was on life support blaming me for her actions i wanted to change but she wasn’t letting me live a ordinary life help me help anyone in state care who can grow up becoming something they always destined to be with the right support becoming the opposite of who they first was coming in to homes brought of the streets where you might be to becoming holy or not this is for one to live a lonely long life of disappointment but the fact is i’ve survived i’ve been to prison i’ve stayed when things gets tough and now people want to know me well i’m a victim of unpolitical justice in a very sickening world i grew up violently and mistreated from my mom myself and the social workers 18yrs later im mentally unwell i’m getting worse by the day my heart is hurting and my health and lifestyle is because of my trauma don’t judge

Afraid of closeness with my therapist

replies: 2

I have been going to therapy since early this year 2026. My therapist is extremely kind and compassionate and smart. Almost every session (2-3 weeks apart) leaves me exhausted but also changed. History of childhood emotional neglect. I am afraid of t... View more

I have been going to therapy since early this year 2026. My therapist is extremely kind and compassionate and smart. Almost every session (2-3 weeks apart) leaves me exhausted but also changed. History of childhood emotional neglect. I am afraid of the closeness that is developing as I foresee immense grief when this stops. Does anyone have thoughts on how to manage this?

Wife left with little boy and never came home

replies: 4

So me and my wife had an argument and she came home and said you paranoid c$%t and left. Next day my little boy was stressed so my friend took him to the movies. That afternoon he msged me and said he got picked up at the movies and I didn't see them... View more

So me and my wife had an argument and she came home and said you paranoid c$%t and left. Next day my little boy was stressed so my friend took him to the movies. That afternoon he msged me and said he got picked up at the movies and I didn't see them for weeks then she went to Perth with him saying her mum was sick. And they never came back. And then she put a avfo of me. That was t required saying she feared me. Which she knows I love them both so much and would never hurt them. Now she said she is never coming back and I cant deal with it all. Ive given up. What do I do. Im seeing a counsellor and psychologist and its not helping the actual outcome. Help me.pleaase

Support for a sex addiction partner

replies: 6

Hello, I recently discovered my husbands porn/sex addiction. It was a long 10 weeks of trickle truth before he admitted to paying for sex. we have been together 13 years and have 3 very young children with one on the way. Prior to this our marriage h... View more

Hello, I recently discovered my husbands porn/sex addiction. It was a long 10 weeks of trickle truth before he admitted to paying for sex. we have been together 13 years and have 3 very young children with one on the way. Prior to this our marriage has probably been in the best place it’s ever been, so this has come at such a complete shock and only 2 weeks after finding out I am pregnant. our marriage overall is great. We get along well, laugh, trust one another, have a good sex and consistant sex life. Honestly everything has been great. Yes some resentment in there from my end for feeling like I do everything but pay the bills. But I have started to shift that mindset of late and appreciate I don’t have the financial stress he carries. He has also expressed in the past and practically begged for more intimacy and feeling wanted. At the time I couldn’t see it from his view as we were always touchy, still had sex and gave compliments. I know now how damaging this is but at the time I was consumed and closed minded thinking it wasn’t a big deal. my world is absolutely shattered. I am in constant shock. I am shaking and spiraling and have intense rage. I feel like I am traumatising my kids. I can’t seem to put all this aside for them or this unborn baby. I have no clue where to turn too.I saw a psychologist last week but all she said was to learn to breath. My family are good but also not good at the same time. since the initial discovery of porn and sex work sites (no confession) my husband has quit porn, removed his trigger place to watch (showers AM), deleted social media. Is seeing a therapist and also addressed his anxiety/depression and agreed to take medication. He has been actively trying to show me he is working on this, but I I feel like for 10 weeks, everytime I got back up, I went digging and was knocked back down twenty times harder. I have no trust for this man. Every time he picks up his phone. Any time I drive past a massage parlor or see an attractive women, if he calls to check on me I feel it’s like actually calculated, if he says for me to go instead of him I feel it’s like he’s buying time alone. Everything he does now feels calculated. I don’t know how to explain this as I’ve never ever ever been this person.I want to trust him and make this work because our marriage has been great. I dont want to destroy something good and my children’s lives at the first sign of issues. But at what cost to my own sanity? I don’t even know how to look after myself and I’m still studying and trying to find the answers for him. I feel guilty leaving when it’s a health issue. Im trying desperately not to take it personal but that is just not possible. how do I get through this? There is so much support for the one that needs help but what about me? What about the partners? Online is so doom and gloom and any positive outcomes are so hard to come by.

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PTSD for Medical and First Responders

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Not wanting to be here - lack of empathy and family support

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I was here around 12 months ago as”cdtofi”

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Starting a New JOB & My (Traumatic) Life is Catching Up With Me

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Just from 1 caring person to another

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My mother, the narcissist

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I lost myself somewhere along the way

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changing the system

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Afraid of closeness with my therapist

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Wife left with little boy and never came home

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Support for a sex addiction partner

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PTSD and trauma

PTSD for Medical and First Responders replies: 276

Not wanting to be here - lack of empathy and family support replies: 4

I was here around 12 months ago as”cdtofi” replies: 4

Starting a New JOB & My (Traumatic) Life is Catching Up With Me replies: 10

Just from 1 caring person to another replies: 3

My mother, the narcissist replies: 1

I lost myself somewhere along the way replies: 1

changing the system replies: 2

Afraid of closeness with my therapist replies: 2

Wife left with little boy and never came home replies: 4

Support for a sex addiction partner replies: 6

PTSD for Medical and First Responders

replies: 276

Not wanting to be here - lack of empathy and family support

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I was here around 12 months ago as”cdtofi”

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Starting a New JOB & My (Traumatic) Life is Catching Up With Me

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Afraid of closeness with my therapist

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Wife left with little boy and never came home

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