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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Rach28 Spiraling out of control
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone. So im really struggling right now in my life. I feel like im stuck in a dark deep hole in the dark and I feel so alone. Context: I suffer PTSD and have suffered multiple terrible trauma experiences. I just feel so broken. I dont know wha... View more

Hi everyone. So im really struggling right now in my life. I feel like im stuck in a dark deep hole in the dark and I feel so alone. Context: I suffer PTSD and have suffered multiple terrible trauma experiences. I just feel so broken. I dont know what to do. I have no life direction and all my triggers are on high alert. I also struggle with anxiety/ depression which has become more severe recently due to triggers that are related to my trauma. I just feel like anytime I try to do something and put all my effort in, im always disappointed. I always end up getting rejected, hurt, or getting my hand burnt (hypothetically not literally). I just feel like nothing good is going to happen in my life. I just feel like I am a broken human being. I feel like no employer will take me on if I want to apply for a job - im so messed up mental health wise plus I dont like being around people. I get triggered SO easily I cant control it. I guess I am writing this post because I feel so alone right now in all of this. i dont know what decisions to make because right now avoidance is the best option for me. If I avoid making any life decision I'm not going to spiral more out of control. And right now my mental health is very delicate. Plus I recently had a fight with a friend and I'm not talking to him. He's been a huge support system for me and I feel he doesnt understand my mental state right now given the stress of timing of the year also regarding traumatic events. I just feel so alone and I want to never have to work again. I want to just be left in peace and deal with my broken version of myself after being sexually assaulted, abused by my ex and abused my family. I just dont know what to do. Does anyone else understand what I am saying. I just would love to know that I'm not the only person struggling with PTSD, trauma and mental health. I just want to curl in a ball and hide away from the world, in hopes that everyone will just leave me alone and allow me peace and quiet to figure out what the hell I am going to do with my life. I'm scared of living after all the awful life events I've faced and survived. I'm scared of trying again. Does anyone else relate? Id love to hear from you.

Guest_35023445 40yr old lost soul
  • replies: 1

My life is falling apart. I’m a 40 plus year old mum about to divorce due to toxic in-laws and my mental health is failing. I have lost all hope in life and am so lost. I no longer know what I want to do with my life and don’t know how to begin to st... View more

My life is falling apart. I’m a 40 plus year old mum about to divorce due to toxic in-laws and my mental health is failing. I have lost all hope in life and am so lost. I no longer know what I want to do with my life and don’t know how to begin to start to heal from suspected PTSD due to narcissistic abuse sexual abuse and trauma.

Guest_01984308 PTSD ANXIETY DEPRESSION
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm new here & have PTSD Anxiety & Depression,I was in a DV relationship with a narcissist for 3 years & my ex-partner physically & mentally abused me.I lost contact with my friends I was isolated and thought I was going crazy. I have been suffer... View more

Hi, I'm new here & have PTSD Anxiety & Depression,I was in a DV relationship with a narcissist for 3 years & my ex-partner physically & mentally abused me.I lost contact with my friends I was isolated and thought I was going crazy. I have been suffering ever since. I have nightmares about the trauma caused and my mental health has deteriorated since. I keep thinking about it daily and can't get him out of my head. Some days are better than others and when I feel like this, I shut off from everyone. I don't speak to my sisters because they always blame me when something goes wrong as I have always been the black sheep of the family.

Bubbles5 PTSD AND TRAUMA
  • replies: 6

Hello, l am reaching out have got PTSD and trauma every since a little girl in start. l would like to share stories with each other. l believed that anyone, who has had trauma, life changes understand each other better than anyone else ️ l am going t... View more

Hello, l am reaching out have got PTSD and trauma every since a little girl in start. l would like to share stories with each other. l believed that anyone, who has had trauma, life changes understand each other better than anyone else ️ l am going through a rocky road with my partner's mum & Sister are got cancer and my partner is legally blind now. l don't know, if l should be putting this message up here, but l just needed to vent and, if anyone is reading my posts. That they are hearing me, where l at this moment in my life. We all have up and down in our journey. Love to hear everyone else stories.Love and Light .

Shattered Feeling shattered my husband's porn, alcohol and prostitute addiction.
  • replies: 3

I have been married for 24 years, and my husband's addiction to porn, alcohol and recently discovered his addiction to prostitutes. I have had a sexless marriage for 12 years, and my husband has been unemployed for the past 5 years. My husband has nu... View more

I have been married for 24 years, and my husband's addiction to porn, alcohol and recently discovered his addiction to prostitutes. I have had a sexless marriage for 12 years, and my husband has been unemployed for the past 5 years. My husband has numerous DUIs and is on the interlock program and returned from Rehabilitation last year, which was court-ordered. I have spent most of my savings hiring lawyers for his DUI convictions to avoid incarceration. I recently discovered my husband has been seeing prostitutes whilst I was visiting my sick mother. A substantial amount of money disappeared from my bank account. I contacted the bank and found out my husband accessed the account. Upon investigating, I discovered my husband has been to the local Brothel. I am broken-hearted, all these years my husband's excuses for not having sex were poor erection problems, not formally diagnosed. I discovered 12 years ago his porn addiction and last year my husband subconsciously was caught in our CCTV footage mastubating at our front porch. I asked my husband if I could check his timeline for Google Maps, then realised he had been to other brothels. I have been faithful to my husband all these years, I feel betrayed. I confronted my husband initially denied, and he later confessed to adultery. My husband confessed this was his initial visit to the Brothel, and he was not aware he spent 6.5 hours with the Escort. He assured me he did not have intercourse as the prostitute was trying to help with the erection, and they talked for long periods. He then claimed the condom came off, and he failed to recall the events as he was intoxicated. Yet my husband could scan his card and access his PIN every hour, despite being intoxicated!. I requested my husband to be screened for STIs.I am traumatised, depressed, suffering from insomnia, low self-esteem, and poor appetite. I have taken time off from work to recuperate. I am exhausted.Over the years, my husband has broken my heart through neglect, yet I loved him with every broken piece. I cannot share the room with my husband anymore, My husband has requested not to take any drastic measures and to concentrate on my self-healing. I have morals, values and neglected my desires to make my husband happy. I am exhausted and do not know how to cope with the resentment and How do I recover from infidelity trauma?

Guest_64361830 Reliving traumas with therapits
  • replies: 1

I started writing this post detailing everything I've gone through and ended up with a lot of pages that won't fit in here.I tried to suicide for the 2nd time, this month.I was in the mental health ward for several days having discussions over and ov... View more

I started writing this post detailing everything I've gone through and ended up with a lot of pages that won't fit in here.I tried to suicide for the 2nd time, this month.I was in the mental health ward for several days having discussions over and over of why I did it.I was referred to AODS where I have had to go through the traumas again. The Way Back service where I will have to do it all again.I am soooo tired of telling my story to different therapists. I found myself in my head again trying to write here why I feel there is no joy in life. That it is all a battle I'm very tired of fighting. I'm tired of working just to eat and sleep. Everything is so expensive. I have to move house soon. I just want to have a bonfire (I won't) of my stuff and curl up in my car.Having to recount my past traumas, my present ones over and over just leaves me a crying mess with a huge headache.Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for the help offered. I'm just not feeling better with it.

Sunny_days Feeling Lost
  • replies: 2

I (23F) was in a relationship with someone I really loved (24M) until recently that lasted about 3 years where we lived together… I had been in past relationships before this one that had been quite bad in terms of emotional and physical abuse, so I ... View more

I (23F) was in a relationship with someone I really loved (24M) until recently that lasted about 3 years where we lived together… I had been in past relationships before this one that had been quite bad in terms of emotional and physical abuse, so I didn’t think that there was any issue with this one and I really thought I was going to marry him and have kids with him, so I feel utterly disillusioned. he had been very open with me about his previous relationships, and had detailed to me about six months or longer into the relationship that one of his previous partners had enjoyed watching porn with him and using adult toys to please himself, and that he liked that, and wanted to do it with me. I did not want to do this, but became quickly aware of the fact that this disappointed him, and he was upset with me and said I made him feel ashamed of himself… It was at this time that he also disclosed to me and showed me his extensive collection of porn DVDs, magazines, flashlights modelled off of porn actresses, and scrapbooks he made of porn actresses that resembled people he knew and were our friends. He had told me a lot of this had been because his ex-girlfriend had encouraged this. over time and after having struggles with him misplacing funds, lying about money, excessive gambling, and both of us having to skip meals, his porn collection grew and to an extent that I would estimate at about 500-600 porn DVDs. He had been open about wanting to please himself, and at the time I felt that this was only fair since I didn’t want him to feel stifled by me, and I felt that any feelings I had that were bad about it, were selfish and insecure, and any time I brought it up it made him very defensive and upset. this dynamic culminated in him sitting in the lounge room with a case of beer, a 2L tub of lube, and at least four fleshlights (that were correlated to the women he would watch) watching porn for days, at least twice a week, for about two years. This prevented me from having people over, opening the curtains, participating in any household task, or leaving my bedroom, and over time, made me feel like I had no control or choice. It became so much so, that I had multiple bad depressive episodes, all of which I felt ashamed about, and he called me ‘unattractive’ or ‘crazy’ for having, and would use this as an excuse to watch more and more porn. Since breaking up with him and losing my housing in the process, I feel so so lost.

Mikhaela Am I in the wrong
  • replies: 2

I was 8 when I was diagnosed with ADHD and 10 when I was diagnosed with Autism.In year 4 I just had this friend thing where one of my friends lets say her name is Molly. (this is privacy. not her real name) Molly and I were really close friends like ... View more

I was 8 when I was diagnosed with ADHD and 10 when I was diagnosed with Autism.In year 4 I just had this friend thing where one of my friends lets say her name is Molly. (this is privacy. not her real name) Molly and I were really close friends like we had been friends since preschool and so yeah this one day, one of my friends goes "hey Mikhaela can't you just be invisible" And like Molly goes into this kinda huddle thing and says something and, the whole next week she ignores me and says like when i'm trying to talk to her she goes "oh it must be the wind" or "it's the abominable snowman again" and yeah so that's a whole week of that. Then in year five my sister leaves the school, and my other frinpend lets say her name is grace not resl name. Grace is sad sbout my sister leaving the chool understandable, but she starts blaming me and for three terms she is constantly bugging me about how it was all my fault my sister left. she starts ig oring me making snide comments about me and rumors like it's all my fault my sister keft and Molly I only just started trusting againstarts believing the rumors and completely stabs me in the back, it's not true, and my sister wasn't getting a good enough education like her teacher wouldn't go over thing my sister didn't understand. yeah like grace and molly are just telling this new kid and feeding her the rumors and she believes them and soon there's no one at my school i can trust, not even the teachers. they don't do anything about this bullying. I find that molly ang grace both stole and ripped me of my identity and that i didn't deserve that. i just can believe it. then one day on the bus i catch grace is all in my face about how it's all my fault my sister left the school, and she keeps on insissting about its all my fault. im pretty sure it's not though.Am i in the wrong to be upset and traumitised wanting to take all days off school possible?

BridgetJones Broken and Lonely
  • replies: 6

I’ve lived through multiple traumatic events since childhood, which have deeply shaped the way I see and interact with the world. Growing up with an emotionally absent mother, I learned to distrust authority figures, and that distrust has persisted i... View more

I’ve lived through multiple traumatic events since childhood, which have deeply shaped the way I see and interact with the world. Growing up with an emotionally absent mother, I learned to distrust authority figures, and that distrust has persisted into adulthood. Though I’ve been sober for seven years, certain situations still trigger emotional reactions, and I often find myself dissociating when faced with stress. At 48, I live with the lingering effects of those experiences. I tend to isolate myself, especially in social situations, and fear still has a strong hold over me. I’ve tried to break out of this cycle, but it’s difficult. I’ve had EMDR and various treatments along the way, but there are still some challenges—like the difficulty of being in a room with a therapist, which often triggers old wounds. Despite all of this, I’ve made progress. I’m in a better place now than I used to be, and I’m learning to navigate the complexities of my emotions. But there are days when it feels like a struggle, and I know that the way I’m living isn’t sustainable. I want more out of life, more connection, and more peace. It’s a journey, but I’m still moving forward, even if it’s not always easy. Single and living with chronic distrust, anxiety and people pleasing behaviours, lost my identity in the process. Would love to hear from anyone with similar experience? Thank you for listening.

Jo999 Workplace injury horrible rehab Comcare invalidity - can anyone help please?
  • replies: 30

I have a psychological claim with Comcare that has been going on for years. I want to get away from them and out of the system, but they (and my awful employer) keep hounding me and sending me for multiple psychiatric exams and IMEs. They will not fi... View more

I have a psychological claim with Comcare that has been going on for years. I want to get away from them and out of the system, but they (and my awful employer) keep hounding me and sending me for multiple psychiatric exams and IMEs. They will not find me a job, will not give me a redundancy and will not put me forward for medical invalidity. I am just kept in constant limbo. The rehab consultants ignore all the medical advice and have not been able to find me a job. I have found the rehabilitation consultants to be the most useless nastiest pieces of work. They act like policemen telling me everyday to call up friends and beg for a job. They told me to do charity begging work even though I have poor social skills and anxiety. I am unable to approach people and beg for money. After 10 years of this ongoing crap, I am very unwell and don't know what to do anymore. Comcare said if I try to challenge anything or don't do what they say, they can go back and raise a debt against me for 10 years of payments (hundreds of thousands of dollars) so I am in a nightmare with no way out. Has anyone been through this? Can anyone offer advice or assistance as I need help. My anxiety is extreme and my doctor has prescribed sleeping pills to help me sleep as I lie away all night worrying. I am likely to end up jobless, cut off all benefits, and homeless, and the thought just makes me cry.