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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 275

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Fiatlux The Worst DV I can imagine. ***TRIGGER WARNING***
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, The news broke me yesterday, as I recall having a serious conversation with my husband when my children were little and I begged him to never harm or kill our children to hurt me or spite me or take revenge if I ended out marriage due to... View more

Hi everyone, The news broke me yesterday, as I recall having a serious conversation with my husband when my children were little and I begged him to never harm or kill our children to hurt me or spite me or take revenge if I ended out marriage due to his domestic violence and abuse towards me. As a person who has survived domestic violence and still in a relationship with my violent husband, I had to have this conversation with him.

Guest_65068129 Narcissist mother denying everything
  • replies: 5

My mother abused me physically till I was 16 and the emotional abuse still continues. The physical abuse was to a level where I would have marks on my body, my lips would be broken and each event would leave pain for days. I don't remember a single d... View more

My mother abused me physically till I was 16 and the emotional abuse still continues. The physical abuse was to a level where I would have marks on my body, my lips would be broken and each event would leave pain for days. I don't remember a single day when I was not hit by her till I was 16. Everything in the household was always my fault. I didn't know what was I doing wrong. I only knew everything bad happening to her life or the household was my fault.Today I have chronic pain, PTSD and severe depression to a level I am unable to get out of the house. And now I am a bad person as I don't reciprocate the role of a daughter as per her expectations.The worst thing is she is constantly in my head. My brain keeps generating what she would say in that situation even when she is not there. How do I get her out of my head?

user cptsd and fear
  • replies: 9

so i have cptsd and i wanna know if anyone else is living like this. i feel like no one is gonna reply but i am desperate. i am fearful and scared all the time. like fearful for my life all day and all life. i am no longer in 'danger' and do not stil... View more

so i have cptsd and i wanna know if anyone else is living like this. i feel like no one is gonna reply but i am desperate. i am fearful and scared all the time. like fearful for my life all day and all life. i am no longer in 'danger' and do not still live with my abusers but I still feel like I am unsafe. Its like being fearful of everything around me at all times. like even if no one is there, I am still looking behind me and chekcinhg everything all the time because I am scared. i also get really bad physical symptoms of the trauma, like vomiting and difficulty breathing. it is not just from time to time my heart is racing and i am scared - it is all the time. It does get worse when i have flashbacks etc but my constant state is fear. How am I supposed to live like this? is this just part of cptsd?

Mitty Woman struggling to make friends with other women
  • replies: 4

My history involves alot of issues with trusting men, but unfortunately it also includes women too. Recently I've been really feeling quite lonely and yearning for connection with other women, or people who share a common collective of experiences th... View more

My history involves alot of issues with trusting men, but unfortunately it also includes women too. Recently I've been really feeling quite lonely and yearning for connection with other women, or people who share a common collective of experiences that label us as such. I want to reach out but I feel like I just end up gushing way too much and being super intense and needy. I also find it hard to relate to how other women are. They seem somewhat foreign to me, yet I want to be a part of it all. I don't want to be a 'cool hip contrarian.' I just want a sense of belonging. Do other women here relate to this?

Narelle Sexual abuse, trauma and anxiet
  • replies: 1

Sorry all l did an introduction post and can not seem to be able to edit it. Small mistake in it. Was married to a woman for 20 years and then left me and started a new relationship with a new woman it was meant to have said. OG post below Hi everyon... View more

Sorry all l did an introduction post and can not seem to be able to edit it. Small mistake in it. Was married to a woman for 20 years and then left me and started a new relationship with a new woman it was meant to have said. OG post below Hi everyone my name is Narelle and l believe l have PTSD and Trauma along with anxiety. I am a 54 yr old openly gay woman and from a very young age had encountered many episodes of sexual abuse from siblings, mothers boyfriends for years. I think a lot of my mental health stems from this due to my mother not believing me and accusing me of lying. My mother abandoned me when l was 16 and l had to learn to live life on my own. As life went on l became a mum to my beautiful daughters and went through a relationship break up where l had a breakdown and the father to my children offered to care for the kids for a few weeks to give me a break. Friends of mine overseas bought me a plane ticket and l went to see them to have a break. While l was away the father to my children along with his mother gave the kids to welfare and labelled me as an unfit mother all because l had a breakdown. One of my childhood abusers who is a sister of mine was asked by the welfare to look after the youngest, 3 years old. I did not know where my kids were and l was not allowed to see them. 10 years later l found them and they were still in the system and my partner at the time would impose ultimatums on me about me kids. I became married to this person for 20 years and started a new life with an amazing woman who was my world. The jealous ex wife took it upon themselves to interfere in my new relationship just to be spiteful because they could not accept the fact that l no longer wanted to be with them. Needless to say my new relationship is now over as the ex succeeded in destroying that with stories and lies which l have proven are incorrect. The woman who was my partner is an overthinker and struggles to see the truth and fixates only on negativity. Saddens me to know l will never be believed on anything l say despite knowing l am telling the truth to them. I get triggered by frustration and it comes from my childhood abuse experience of my mother never believing me. I feel like my ex partner has also abandoned me just like my mother did. I have no one in my life who l can bounce off and talk to. My ex partner was my rock and they made me feel safe but they are gone. The ex wife and ex partner message each other a lot about me and my ex wife’s reason is jealousy and is playing games with the ex partner but is making it out that l am the one who is doing it all when l am not.

MelDee Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

About a month ago I had to call the police in regards to my partner assaulting me (first-time drug and alcohol-fueled). The police have since pressed charges against him and they issued an AVO for my safety even after they had asked me if I wanted no... View more

About a month ago I had to call the police in regards to my partner assaulting me (first-time drug and alcohol-fueled). The police have since pressed charges against him and they issued an AVO for my safety even after they had asked me if I wanted no contact and I specifically said I still wanted to talk to him.We didn't follow this no contact for the first 2 weeks then he got scared and finally stopped talking to me. a couple of days ago, I stupidly called him numerous times and went to his place and he called the police on me and had me charged with harassment and I now have an AVO on me. I feel stupid cos I didn't do any of the things I should have done after the initial assault to protect him as we were planning to still be together. But now I can't believe how stupid I was and the fact that he could press charges on me after I protected him I am a mess. I have no family support as I don't want to get them involved and I also have no friends where I am. He was all I had I am so lost and alone and miserable.

Guest_21790374 I think I drink to hide pain
  • replies: 1

I have have had some unfortunate problems. I drink to cope and now my daughters hate me

I have have had some unfortunate problems. I drink to cope and now my daughters hate me

Buu79 Domestic violence trauma
  • replies: 1

Hi not sure how to start this story as it's quite difficult I come from a background of F&DV and Child sexual abuse, my father used to assault my mum nearly everyday he used to physically assault me and my brother's and my dad was messed up badly on ... View more

Hi not sure how to start this story as it's quite difficult I come from a background of F&DV and Child sexual abuse, my father used to assault my mum nearly everyday he used to physically assault me and my brother's and my dad was messed up badly on drugs, once we got older we left home my parents divorced and my brother went with mum I went my own way I had a job where I thought one of the workers there was quite good looking but apparently he had a family anyway we ended up catching up and we fell in love he was charming and bought me jewelry and flowers and treated me special, then I got pregnant to him and everything changed he threatened to physically harm me while pregnant, this should have been my first red flag, but next time I seen him and mentioned it he said sorry he was joking but I had noticed his demeanor had changed and he was happier than usual, then just before our daughter turned one he told us get ready he was going to take us out for lunch we got ready waited..3 yrs went by before he stuck his head back into our happy lived, again I let him back into our lives not knowing that he was a full blown drug addict, I had been clean since he left. he was very cruel person even to our daughter and dog, boxing Day 2009 after he had collected his drugs and introduced me to the chick he was cheating on me with he decided to badly assault me in the car. you have no idea how many times I wanted to run the car into the barrier on his side, I was looking for police on motorbikes but nothing..... It's been 12 years now but we are still in hiding because he's threaten to kidnap me or my daughter and torture us for 3 years he spent in jail... Does anyone else have this kind of daily worry

Ell91 Not sure how to tell my family (rape)
  • replies: 2

When I was 11, my virginity was taken by a man from rape in my home.I never told anyone in my family, and after a few months I told some friends at school and they shamed me, accusing me of making up lies and that I didn't realise what I was saying a... View more

When I was 11, my virginity was taken by a man from rape in my home.I never told anyone in my family, and after a few months I told some friends at school and they shamed me, accusing me of making up lies and that I didn't realise what I was saying as rape is a serious accusation. I learnt to keep my mouth shut and as I grew older, I started to feel safe to share with some people that "my virginity was taken non-conconsensually", as this felt not as serious as using the word rape. For me, it removed the weight of the experience and this was reflected in how people responded to it. "Oh, that sucks!". I started self-harming when I was 13. I stopped and started over the next 2 decades and was in and out of therapy.I am now 33, in therapy with a fantastic therapist (finally), recently diagnosed with PTSD and everything is bubbling to the surface. Certain friends know, I'm claiming that I was raped and being clear about it. My partner knows but for some reason I feel that I want my family to know. It happened while they were home, only a door between me, my rapist and them. I don't know exactly why I want to tell them, maybe to explain away my mental health history? And for some other reason I feel the words get trapped in my throat just at the thought of approaching the conversation. How would I even start it? How could I explain my reasons for wanting to share? What's the point? Is it self-serving to relieve myself of the desire to tell them and burden them with the knowing? Why now? So many questions. It would be helpful to receive reflections, your own personal experience with sharing with important figures in your life, even advice. Thank you for this space.

Laney-BB1234 idk
  • replies: 1

Ok so i have a lot to sayFirstly im lesbian, have been since last year, and my parents went through my phone a few months ago, found chats where i was s3xually explicit with girls and they were PISSED. They are very religious and very very homophobic... View more

Ok so i have a lot to sayFirstly im lesbian, have been since last year, and my parents went through my phone a few months ago, found chats where i was s3xually explicit with girls and they were PISSED. They are very religious and very very homophobic :((( that rlly damaged my mental health and they still make remarks about it and i currently have a gf and i dont know how to hide her from them and i dont want to break up either, even though ik safety wise itd be better for meSecondly, last year i was r@ ped by someone. i dont want to go into too many details but it shattered my mental health and caused me to s3lf h@r m quite frequently. I havent told anyone except for my friend and my gf (both of who were very understanding and compassionate) but im terrified ill be too scared for intimacy or the trauma will plague me forever and i just dont knowI want to talk to our school based youth therapist about both things but will they tell my parents anything??? i dont know how confidential it is, they (parents) dont know about the @ssault/h @rming cause i know them well enough to know theyd just blame me and say i deserved it.I dont like my parents at all omg.I think thats basically all i wanted to say, if anyone has advice or comforting words or their own experiences i would deeply appreciate it Laney.