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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 272

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Eagle Ray Denial of sexual abuse in extended family
  • replies: 29

Potentially distressing content warning Hi, I’m currently trying to bring myself to communicate with an extended family member regarding her ongoing denial of four years of sexual abuse done to a cousin when she was a child. In fact she pretends the ... View more

Potentially distressing content warning Hi, I’m currently trying to bring myself to communicate with an extended family member regarding her ongoing denial of four years of sexual abuse done to a cousin when she was a child. In fact she pretends the person abused doesn’t exist. The mother of this child (different to above person) blamed her daughter for the abuse and abandoned her. The perpetrator got away with it. This same perpetrator attempted to groom me as a child but I was fortunately never alone with him. Another relative did as well in front of other family including my parents who did nothing to stop his behaviour, but again I was never completely alone and apart from suggestive comments and being leered at and asked to do things for him, nothing actually happened. He later went to prison for abusing another under-age person. I’m not sure my question fits here because it’s primarily about the abuse of someone else. But what I’d like to know is how have others handled denial of sexual abuse in families and the ongoing lies and cover ups that can go on for years? As a younger adult I have experienced two sexual assaults and so I feel all the more angry about how the abuse of a family member is denied. I refuse to pretend the person doesn’t exist and I have nothing to do with her mother who abandoned her. The other family member is trying to get me to connect with the mother and I will not do this. This keeps coming up at the moment and I’m thinking of writing a letter to the family member I’m struggling with right now. I believe she tries to cover up the abuse because she has been scared for years to rock the boat. But I feel I have to rock the boat even though it’s likely to be destructive of my relationship with family members. I only found out about the abuse of this cousin in my 20s when my parents told me, years after it occurred. The perpetrator died recently which has put a spotlight back on this issue. Has anyone had to handle something like this? What did you do? How did it go? I have a feeling it’s going to go badly but I refuse to play the denial game. I have never met the cousin in question as she was ex-communicated from her family decades ago. I’m only recently discovering the extent to which other family have gone to cover up the abuse and it’s upsetting me. My parents have died so I can’t discuss it with them now.

JIvy13 struggling with sexual assault
  • replies: 6

I was sexually assaulted over a year ago. I thought I had come to terms with it and healed from it, but recently it's all I think about. Everyone tells me it's not my fault but I'm always asking myself if there's more I could have done instead of jus... View more

I was sexually assaulted over a year ago. I thought I had come to terms with it and healed from it, but recently it's all I think about. Everyone tells me it's not my fault but I'm always asking myself if there's more I could have done instead of just freezing up and saying nothing. I keep wondering if I made it up or if it even happened and now I'm blaming myself,

wbgc84 Going nowhere fast
  • replies: 3

I know mental health has up and downs and is a basically spending my life on an emotional rollercoaster. I have never been big at asking for help before I have always been the strong one. I have put so many walls up to hide my mental health and have ... View more

I know mental health has up and downs and is a basically spending my life on an emotional rollercoaster. I have never been big at asking for help before I have always been the strong one. I have put so many walls up to hide my mental health and have the ‘face’ the world wants to see. now many years later I am reaching out for help I have an assistant dog in training and some other measures in place. But I am still pushing them away a bit, will take some time to adjust. but with everything in life I always feel like a hamster running on a wheel, I am going flat out trying to do things to improve my life and move forward but I just keep ending up in the same place. I hope at some stage I can move to a different wheel

hairclip Car accident + grief
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone, I was proudly better from depression and anxiety. I finally stopped seeing a therapist after 2 years of treatment. I found a good job two years ago and was overall very happy with how I've turned my life around. Sadly tragedy strikes ... View more

Hello everyone, I was proudly better from depression and anxiety. I finally stopped seeing a therapist after 2 years of treatment. I found a good job two years ago and was overall very happy with how I've turned my life around. Sadly tragedy strikes faster than I could respond. A very dear uncle of mine (who helped raised me) was diagnosed with bowl cancer in 2022, so in August I decided to quit my job and fly overseas to spend as much time with him as possible. The plan was I would go visit him first and the rest of my family would go once I've returned to Brisbane. However the 2nd day I have arrived Brisbane, we were told he unfortunately passed away. His death was more painful than it needed to be, since he contracted Covid. That mixed with late state cancer, the doctors in that country could do very little. I'm still extremely distraught and in disbelief about his passing. Then just when I felt I was getting better, I was in a car accident. Upon contacting lots and lots of free help...I found myself to be uninsured and fighting the insurance company on my own. I thought my car was insured but due to a huge misunderstanding and miscommunication, I'm not. I'm unemployed, trying to find a job...grieving over a loved one (who's service I couldn't attend) and now this...my friends and family have been supportive but I'm just so stressed out. I'm so scared to drive now, I'm having trouble sleeping and I just don't know what I can do anymore...I'm in Brisbane alone since my family had to go attend the funeral service overseas. According to our tradition the funeral can take up to a month. Summary: lost a loved one, had my first accident and now negotiating with insurance company...lots of bad things happening in Feb...

Hardyimez How do I explain how someone's words effect me so deeply that they will be mindful?
  • replies: 2

Hello all, I was in a dv situation with my ex partner. I have always suffered with anxiety and depression but not ptsd. I have started dating again. It got so bad with my ex I left 4mths pregnant and he came after me and threatened me with a weapon. ... View more

Hello all, I was in a dv situation with my ex partner. I have always suffered with anxiety and depression but not ptsd. I have started dating again. It got so bad with my ex I left 4mths pregnant and he came after me and threatened me with a weapon. He was never jailed, not for breaching my vro numerous times, breaching his bail conditions and his intensive community order 5 times. He stalked harassed and hounded me. I was put in a refuge, I was the one in jail. Miles away from my support network, no one allowed to visit. 3yrs later I am grateful for my beautiful daughter. One of his biggest things to terrorised me with was blame. Everything he didn't like was my fault and I mean everything. This was my dialy torture be blamed for things I had no control over or nothing to do with. I started seeing a new guy. Yesterday after a misunderstanding through text I got in trouble for things outside of my control. It triggered me big time. He has said he suffers with anxiety so I would have thought me telling him that his harsh unkind words was triggering to my ptsd would have been met with a bit more understanding. He had apologised but when those anxiety feelings take hold a flip I am sorry doesn't stop the reactions. I got the "well all guys are not your ex" oh really geez well that just makes it just fine now you said that. I don't want to go into the nitty gritty as it just makes it worse but also can I really be bothered to explain when even with someone who claims to know what anxiety is like says that. Am I going to have to tell any potential partner "my story" I just feel lost at the thought that even 3yrs later I still can't get out from under this awful mental battle.

Jessksch TRIGGERING! I only really came to terms yesterday that my father abused me
  • replies: 11

So I see my psychologist monthly ( do it monthly even if you think it won't help, please go and at least talk to let it all out!).I was having problems now with my job, not knowing how to go on or what to do with my life... My parents both passed awa... View more

So I see my psychologist monthly ( do it monthly even if you think it won't help, please go and at least talk to let it all out!).I was having problems now with my job, not knowing how to go on or what to do with my life... My parents both passed away from different types of cancer in one year of each other, they didn't make it past 60. As good as parents they were in the past, my father developed alcoholism and my teenager years were bad from both parties. TRIGGERING so please only read if you can handle it: My father would come into my room sometimes and be blind drunk, it was never in the sense of really out there sexual, but he would be naked and abuse his strength and wrestle me to the ground, telling me if I was being raped right now, how would I get out?! And if we didn't try to fight we were weak.At 18 I was a grown woman and he was an old man, and I fought and kicked and punched him while crying. He left, looked at me crying like he was proud/sad at the same time and never did it again. I told my psychologist and she responded with that this was still sexual abuse. Now, he was only naked this one time but it stuck with me because of it and also all the times he just came into my room to belittle me and say I will never amount to anything. I felt so confused yesterday when she told me, I still don't see this as sexual abuse but then, my eyes are more open than they used to be...Even today I felt like something different opened up in my personality, I felt somehow stronger and not so fragile in that I would let others try to emotionally blackmail me. My partner is going through a rough point in his life, but instead of listening like I usually do, I told him to go and talk to a professional then if he is having trouble. He seemed upset....I just feel angry, like, I can't deal with his crap right now... I still feel very confused at the moment, I know my problems seem like nothing compared to what you are all going through and I must seem pretty insensitive in some way, it's just that this revelation really has shaken me as I still don't want to admit it was abuse, because in some way, it wasn't nice, I don't feel like I want to seem like a victim when this situation isn't as bad as what "real" victims have gone through?

Centaured Centaureds story. TW
  • replies: 176

I feel like writing down some of my story might help me ease some of the pain in my head right now. Ive been on beyond blue for a while now and had a few different threads but haven't shared much of my story, or the reasons why I have developed DID. ... View more

I feel like writing down some of my story might help me ease some of the pain in my head right now. Ive been on beyond blue for a while now and had a few different threads but haven't shared much of my story, or the reasons why I have developed DID. Be mindful this post mentions different types of abuse. On the outside my childhood looked normal. I had a mum, a dad, a brother, and some extended family. And although we weren't well off, my parents still owned their home and we had food on the table.But behind closed things were falling apart. It starts at just 5. My dad was diagnosed with a serious brain tumour. It mainly effected his emotions and his body's ability to regulate itself. He was very sick, spent over 6 months in treatment. The drs got rid of his tumour but he was never the same, with serious brain damage and vision impaired. My mum became physically abusive not being able manage, or lock us up for days. I don't know what was worse. At 5 I also had a big operation in my abdomen and with things going on at home began my struggle with eating and thus I later developed an eating disorder but that is only a side note. In the years following I had issues with my grandfather, he was always touchy but I vague memories of this slowly getting worse. Then at 8-9 I was the product of incest. My brother would touch me, but in the later period this left to much more and rape. The next year my family moved states and I got away from grandfather and my brothers abuse stopped. I would withdraw into fantasy and began to dissociate a lot. Then High School came around and was difficult with very few friends and bullying and avoidance. My mum had an affair when I was 13 and then left my dad. Forcing me and my brother to live week with her week with dad. It was very destabilizing. Later on in school I became increasingly withdrawn, and began to self harm. My weight at this point was getting very low. By the end of high school my weight was critical and I made my first attempt. Ive spent the next 11 years in and out of hospital, institutions, in various therapies, seen so many different professionals, struggling to come to the conclusion that I am not not what has happened to me

Rachel U Cult trauma
  • replies: 2

Hi, I just want to start a discussion about Cults. I was in a eastern religious cult for 16 years. It is still operating in Melbourne. Australia. I have ptsd as a result of my time and just want to communicate with other survivors.

Hi, I just want to start a discussion about Cults. I was in a eastern religious cult for 16 years. It is still operating in Melbourne. Australia. I have ptsd as a result of my time and just want to communicate with other survivors.

Joy_M_Pryde Trauma
  • replies: 4

Hi there, I am finding it hard to settle into this strange thing called "life".I suffer from trauma, Bipolar I and OCD.I oftentimes feel out of place with the world. I don't get why other people can make friends easily and even have relationships.I h... View more

Hi there, I am finding it hard to settle into this strange thing called "life".I suffer from trauma, Bipolar I and OCD.I oftentimes feel out of place with the world. I don't get why other people can make friends easily and even have relationships.I had years of bullying, emotional and physical abuse from peers, my family and my cousin's.I have lost my sense of identity and feel numb. It feels like I burn people out and, myself too. Am I too sensitive? Am I too much? I am non binary and I am too shy to face the wider LGBTQIA+ community for fear of rejection. I have low self esteem and I can't accept any compliments because it makes me feel like a fraud.I'm in my late 30s and feel lost for a sense of self and identity. The trauma I've sustained gives me the impression history always repeats.

Ely_ Recalled memories and eating issues
  • replies: 5

Hi all, Therapy has been progressing, and uni this term went well. The last couple of weeks I have had some trauma memories resurface that are now making it extremely difficult to eat/drink etc. I already had some issues with food due to Autism and a... View more

Hi all, Therapy has been progressing, and uni this term went well. The last couple of weeks I have had some trauma memories resurface that are now making it extremely difficult to eat/drink etc. I already had some issues with food due to Autism and adhd but now even when I recognise I need to and have something in front of me that is usually a routine food, I am struggling. I have been working on trying to remember to eat lately, and now these memories have come back it's so frustrating. I forced myself to go to dinner with my family last night so I would eat and while there received comments on my weight loss again. So told them my dietitian is looking at adding an ARFID dx, which of course they all shot down straight away. Wish I hadn't gone, and that I hadn't said anything.I need my brain to stop leaving the connections open all the time! Need to be able to press the pause button. Grounding and my usual visualisation and challenging myself or strategies aren't helping. Hoping for some advice/someone can relate. Feel very alone. Dietitian n psych mean well, but don't and can't understand.