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Self diagnosis
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I have not said anything for 3 years, it’s been a lonely and isolating experience and have cried my way home many nights, but after a physical injury at work where I ended up in hospital for the night I called my manager who shouted at me when I called to ask what I do with capacity form for worksafe, she accused me of self diagnosing by going to hospital.. I have been 4 weeks in sling with a deep tear in my left arm tendon (can’t self diagnose an ultrasound), her treatment after that of me is indicated of her and a handful of her long term employees treat staff. I feel you years and years of abuse, isolation, whispers of ho ( I’m a 65 yo grandma and a widow for 10years) old old woman, I have to work im alone, and actually very good at my job, previous receptionists have just fled but this time her treatment re the injury just triggered a meltdown .. I don’t want to leave the house I’m intermittently crying .. not like me I’m strong but this has taken so much from my self worth I don’t know if I can get back up again once my arm heals.
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Dear New Member~
Let me wish you a warm welcome to the Forum, I hope your arm is now ok. You boss frankly sounds a most undesirable character who obviosly was more concerned wiht insurance issues than you. Nobody goes to ED and is admitted rahter than turned away unless there is a serious matter to be treated.
The way you are now being treated, called a ho and generally disparaged by the boss and a certain group of employees falls in the category of bullying. This raises the question of what to do seeing you do have to work.
You could go to your state or territory workplace relations office and raise a complaint, something that would I'd expect make matters worse at work and give you more stress. You may also not win despite being right.
You could ignore all this and try to take pride in the excellence of your work, however as it is affecting you deeply that might not be practical.
A third option might be to seek counceling via your GP to help you cope with the ugly situation life has thrown at you. Here cost comes into play but it may help significantly.
Do you have anyone you can get support from, a family member or friend who you can talk things over with. They may not be able to 'fix' anything but being wiht someone who listens and simply cares can be a real help
Please let me know what you think?
Croix
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The warmest of welcomes to you 🙂
In the way of reasoning, I've found there to be 3 types of people in this world - very reasonable people, somewhat reasonable people and completely unreasonable people. I've also found it can be easy to feel which type of person we're dealing with. Another thing I've found is completely unreasonable people can be terrible when it comes to our mental wellbeing, physical wellbeing and/or even soulful sense of wellbeing. Soul destroying unreasonable people would have to be the worst. They can be the type of people who won't give good reasons or accept good reasons.
As a 54yo gal, it's taken me decades to finally work out how to manage largely or completely unreasonable people. Typically, I'll state the facts and that's pretty much it. If they won't listen to a fact, I'll state it again if need be. Stating the facts has a triple effect, 1) It boosts confidence and defines a part of our identity, 'I am a stater of facts or the truth', 2) it can help promote emotional detachment and 3) no time is wasted on trying to reason with an unreasonable person.
- Fact: 'I went to the ER for treatment following a workplace injury that left me in pain' vs Emotion: 'My manager led me to feel stupid and dishonest for going to the ER for treatment following a workplace injury that left me in pain'
- Fact: 'I must fill out a Workcover form as part of protocol and must have guidance in doing so, if I'm unsure of anything' vs Emotion: 'My manager leads me to feel like an inconvenience, regarding seeking guidance in filling out a Workcover form'
- Fact: 'I am a deeply caring and highly conscious person working in an uncaring environment with low level forms of consciousness (regarding gossip)' vs Emotion: 'People lead me to feel uncared for at work while speaking behind my back'
- Fact: 'My manager can't effectively manage supporting staff members through workplace injury matters' vs Emotion: 'I can feel my manager leading me to not feel supported'
So, reading back over just the facts in those 4 points, it's hard to deny the facts or the absolute truth. Also, when it comes to people who are not good for our overall wellbeing, it pays to not follow the leader. Such people can lead us down a very dark and/or stressful path. The best leaders or guides are the ones we can feel helping us move in the best and most inspiring direction. Btw, I'm a realist and a feeler and can relate to how hard it can be for a deeply feeling person to turn the volume dial down on what can be felt. It can take so much practice until it starts to become somewhat easier. I find what works at times is (for example) 'I can feel what you just said to me as being degrading and enraging and now that I've felt what your enraging and degrading nature feels like, I'm going to focus on the facts or the truth of the matter'.
