Caring for myself and others

Supporting people’s mental health is important, but so is your wellbeing. Learn strategies for caring about yourself and those around you.

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Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Spellrune192 Starting Self-Care
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Hello. I am working in community services, so when we say self-care, I have a fair understanding of it. I know what it is and I somehow know how to do it. However, events in the past months seem to take a toll on me. It started when I was supporting ... View more

Hello. I am working in community services, so when we say self-care, I have a fair understanding of it. I know what it is and I somehow know how to do it. However, events in the past months seem to take a toll on me. It started when I was supporting my partner while she was dealing with some health issues. It's like I have become so hypervigilant about her symptoms that whenever she says that something's up again, my brain automatically goes to the thought "Here we go again." I love her, and I know I should be supporting her, but I noticed that I haven't been taking care of myself aside from the routine of eating healthier food. My mind feels noisy. I seldom have restful sleep. I haven't been enjoying any of my hobbies lately. I want to go back to slowing down and now I do not know how to start again. It's like we've been dealing with lots of issues. Do you have any strategies on starting self-care?

Guest_41780797 Struggling with Homelessness, Financial Hardship & Domestic Violence
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I never thought I’d be in this position, but life has taken some tough turns, and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m currently experiencing homelessness, financial struggles, and the impacts of domestic violence. I’ve been trying to hold every... View more

Hi everyone, I never thought I’d be in this position, but life has taken some tough turns, and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m currently experiencing homelessness, financial struggles, and the impacts of domestic violence. I’ve been trying to hold everything together, but it’s getting harder by the day. Financially, things have been difficult for a while. I’ve been working, but between unexpected expenses, debts, and trying to keep up with life, I feel like I’m always behind. I’ve been dealing with a company that has been unfairly charging me after a contract ended, and I’ve had to escalate the issue legally. On top of that, I’m facing ongoing issues with my car, making it harder to get around for work and daily needs. The situation at home has also become unbearable. I’ve had to distance myself from certain family members due to ongoing disrespect, emotional and verbal abuse, and constant boundary violations. I’ve tried to set clear limits, but they keep being ignored, making it impossible to feel safe or at peace. I’ve reached a point where I cannot keep putting myself in toxic situations, but walking away feels like losing everything I’ve known. Through all of this, I’ve been trying to stay strong. But I’m stuck, unsure of what will happen next. The uncertainty is exhausting, and some days I feel like I’m running out of options. I know I’m not the only one struggling, and that’s why I’m posting here. I’m hoping to connect with others who understand what it’s like to feel stuck between survival and trying to build a better future. If anyone has advice, resources, or just words of support, really appreciate it. Thanks for reading.

Ggrand Virtual Birthday and special occasions Party 🎉🎂 🎊 🥳…
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone…珞勺.. Many people on these forums, spend birthdays, Easter, Christmas, New Years Eve…and many more significantly important days in there lives feeling a lot of loneliness and sadness because they live alone, or are estranged from family... View more

Hello everyone…🤗🩷.. Many people on these forums, spend birthdays, Easter, Christmas, New Years Eve…and many more significantly important days in there lives feeling a lot of loneliness and sadness because they live alone, or are estranged from family members and friends…I am one of those people…..loneliness seems to overtake and overwhelm me/us on these special days, more then any other day… If it’s your Birthday or an important day in your life you’re very welcome to share your day/s here on this thread where members of these forums can celebrate with you…we can all bring virtual food, nonalcoholic drinks, in the hope that you don’t feel so lonely….and we make your day a little special….Beyond Blue community members are not just people, we all are a special and unique family…caring, supporting and being their for each other… My love, care and gentle warm hugs everyone….🩷🌹🦋🤗..Grandy…

Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.

NotHowIPlanned Don't want help anymore
  • replies: 5

Couldn't find anything on the forums or internet in general, so hoping someone here might help me.Been depressed for a little over 20 years, been in and out of therapy, on and off medications to help me etc, a few months back I went to take my life a... View more

Couldn't find anything on the forums or internet in general, so hoping someone here might help me.Been depressed for a little over 20 years, been in and out of therapy, on and off medications to help me etc, a few months back I went to take my life again but got stopped by my roommate and taken to hospital, had sessions with psychologists and put back on medication, I stopped and cancelled all my sessions and stopped taking my medication, I'm so tired of the same routine of doing this again, was stressed thinking about doing it all again I couldn't go through it again, everyone keeps telling me to go through with it, but I can't bring myself to go through with it again with all the stress it brings me, I don't want help anymore if I know I'll be back in this depressing state again, rather just end it all then go through it again, has anyone felt like this before and got out of it or can give me some advice? Please don't say go to therapy, not worth the stress and anxiety thinking about doing it.

Guest_00832948 Psychiatrist moved states with no notice
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As the title states. I’ve been waiting to hear back since she canceled my last appointment back in December (she canceled day of) and the most recent communication was an email notifying me that she was no longer available in my city and that she had... View more

As the title states. I’ve been waiting to hear back since she canceled my last appointment back in December (she canceled day of) and the most recent communication was an email notifying me that she was no longer available in my city and that she had moved out of state. What’s more concerning is that she has likely done this to all her patients. I believe I am one of the oldest being out of highschool with many of her other clients being teens. I’ve been thankful that I’ve started seeing a new psychologist (whom is going on maternity in May but she’s already planning on my move to another while she’s away) I feel I need to say something to someone about how unethical this move was as we had no communication since her cancellation email in December until her “I’ve moved” email. What do I do?

crjones bias in mental health
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Hi, I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a racial discrepancy with people that are admitted to and diagnosed by the new health system. Please keep racial slurs out of your comments.

Hi, I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a racial discrepancy with people that are admitted to and diagnosed by the new health system. Please keep racial slurs out of your comments.

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Guest_44667822 New born
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Hi ,I recently delivered my baby two weeks back . He's my second . My first one is a special kid . The issue is at night initially he took formula feeds and slept off. Now he's awake the whole night despite having his ffeed . Mom suggested to increas... View more

Hi ,I recently delivered my baby two weeks back . He's my second . My first one is a special kid . The issue is at night initially he took formula feeds and slept off. Now he's awake the whole night despite having his ffeed . Mom suggested to increase dosage I did and still he's quite restless from night 12 up until afternoon 12 . I'm so confused restless I don't know what to do . I only formula feed him twice in the night as I have latching issues and after c section I'm v tired to stay up all night . I'm so skeptical what I'm doing is right or wrong , how to make him atleast sleep sometime in the night as it's only 2 weeks I'm not sure what to do and sometimes the guilt that I missed something for my first child that led her to the diagnosis peeks in and I'm all the more stressed and tired . Anyone can share their experiences which might help me in this journey Thanks in advance

Guest_08076222 Fear of aging
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Daughter is leaving to go to uni and I’ve got empty nest syndrome but more so I’m jealous of her starting out in life when malice is getting to the end, I’m scared of getting older and only have a limited time left

Daughter is leaving to go to uni and I’ve got empty nest syndrome but more so I’m jealous of her starting out in life when malice is getting to the end, I’m scared of getting older and only have a limited time left

Guest_14978740 Past insecurities impacting marriage
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Hey everyone,I’m hoping to gain some sort of insight as to how I can get through this. I was in a very bad relationship for years. Cheating, mental and physical abuse ect. I’ve never fully dealt with the emotional trauma it left me with. I’ve always ... View more

Hey everyone,I’m hoping to gain some sort of insight as to how I can get through this. I was in a very bad relationship for years. Cheating, mental and physical abuse ect. I’ve never fully dealt with the emotional trauma it left me with. I’ve always had terrible self esteem and views on how I see myself. I’ve been in my current relationship for 7 years now and he is amazing. We got married last year. He has never done anything to hurt me or make me feel negatively at all BUT I still seem to feel threatened by others, scared he will cheat, worried he is more attracted to other women ect. It’s really bloody draining! I struggle to be naked around him as I’m worried I’m disappointing him with how I look. He clearly loves me more than anything and has never done anything to make these feelings valid but I don’t know how to get out of my own head. It’s literally stopping me from being able to enjoy our marriage to the fullest. It’s spiralled my binge eating and depression. I go through times when I’m not too bad and then there are times where it sends me absolutely crazy 😞 Please help!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! TIA

Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

TAL Fine Lines
  • replies: 3

My son has just turned 26.As an adult, he has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression. Just a week ago he completed a 4 week stay at Gunnedah, an addiction retreat, at our (great) expense.He has been self medicating with weed and nicotine fo... View more

My son has just turned 26.As an adult, he has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression. Just a week ago he completed a 4 week stay at Gunnedah, an addiction retreat, at our (great) expense.He has been self medicating with weed and nicotine for quite a few years, but apart from those addictions he really wanted a "reset" - learning better habits, trying new things - and he got that there and felt heaps better.But although I don't think he has gone back to the nicotine and weed (yet) he has already lost those good habits and is struggling. He lives in Brisbane and we live 7 hours' drive away in the country. We are heavily financially supporting him and I think that makes it harder for us not to nag him about "getting on with life" although we do try to just listen and be supportive of how much he feels he can and can't do in terms of work (and life).He sees a couple of different psychologists and therapists, one being specifically an addiction counsellor as he feels he has always been addicted to something, whether it be food, gaming or weed. I just really need to know where to step in, and where not to. I have started seeing a psychologist myself but that is about me, not him I guess.

Guest_35107875 Supporting my daughter
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My daughter is a single mum of 2 with depression and ptsd and juat need advice on how to help her i already help with the kids but doesn’t seem to be enough for her she’s really down

My daughter is a single mum of 2 with depression and ptsd and juat need advice on how to help her i already help with the kids but doesn’t seem to be enough for her she’s really down

Ranga-1 How can I help my 20yo son?
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Hi. My 20yo son is showing signs of depression. He is not working at the moment and not doing much by way of job hunting. He has expressed interest in doing online TAFE study, but his dad and I are encouraging him to find some part-time work. I asked... View more

Hi. My 20yo son is showing signs of depression. He is not working at the moment and not doing much by way of job hunting. He has expressed interest in doing online TAFE study, but his dad and I are encouraging him to find some part-time work. I asked him last night if he was losing confidence in himself and he said he was. How can I support him and assist him? I am thinking of suggesting some volunteer work - this will help him see his worth and it can be rewarding, as well as giving him some transferrable workplace skills. He does not drive because of a medical condition. However, he is considering speaking to his neurologist for a certificate declaring him as having been seizure-free for a certain time, and then going for his learner's permit. We are in a rural area with limited public transport options I spoke with my own psychologist yesterday and she advised me to continue to be supportive, which I am doing, notwithstanding it gets so frustrating that I want to scream GET A JOB at him. This can be counterproductive because if he CAN'T get work, that's extra pressure. I would like to see him applying at least. Any suggestions and stories would be so appreciated for this very worried mum.

Long-term support over the journey

A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.

Guest_81153660 Living with bipolar II
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Hi allJust wanted to dip my toes in the forum and mention that I am a medicated person living with bipolar II. Do any other folk feel as I do constantly fatigued, foggy and generally numb due to the medications they are prescribed? Putting it out the... View more

Hi allJust wanted to dip my toes in the forum and mention that I am a medicated person living with bipolar II. Do any other folk feel as I do constantly fatigued, foggy and generally numb due to the medications they are prescribed? Putting it out there and take care.

Jaster First post...looking for some kindred spirits.
  • replies: 5

Hi, I'm a guy in his 50's with 2 beautiful children and a supporting wife of 30 years. Not bad for someone who's parents both married 3-times each. Still to this day I find it hard to understand my depression. All the counselling, medication and exer... View more

Hi, I'm a guy in his 50's with 2 beautiful children and a supporting wife of 30 years. Not bad for someone who's parents both married 3-times each. Still to this day I find it hard to understand my depression. All the counselling, medication and exercise has helped up unto a point, sadly, like today...I just feel awful and hopeless. I have no family or friends and this is for many reasons. My consciously disconnected from my family as it was too triggering. Too many memories and disappointments. Friends...well I pushed them away from embarrassment. Other than my long suffering wife who is an angel, I literally have no-one and this has been the case for many years now. I can flick a switch and literally be social and friendly. You would never know. Its just a facade and I wish I could find my true passion for living again. Thanks for indulging me. I hope you are well.

mangotarts Losing the ability to express emotion and unsure if I am being mistreated
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Hi everyone, sort of just on here trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with me because I've seen no one else with this issue when I put the search in. I'm a bit confused about how to begin to find the answer to this, but I've found for the las... View more

Hi everyone, sort of just on here trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with me because I've seen no one else with this issue when I put the search in. I'm a bit confused about how to begin to find the answer to this, but I've found for the last 5 or 6 years that I cannot cry even though I feel such a deep need to let something out. When I was 11 I had my parents split and I didn't really get the support needed from either of them to understand why or to make my way through the sadness/confusion someone that young would with an event such as that, and I was often put into the place where I had to take care of my mum if she was sad about the topic. This led to my mum leaving home and coming home late as she was with her partner who replaced my dad, and with my mum out wherever she was, my dad was left to care for us at home until the divorce was finalised and he found a new place to stay. I turned to a various array of substances and snuck out every night to use them because it helped me ignore the thoughts on whether my mum did or didn't like being around me. A few months after I began moving towards stronger drugs I tried to take my own life and since then nothing has been the same at all, the aftermath of that was a long period of complete numbness and I stopped seeing any colour inside of the world somehow. My attempt has given me issues with a medication I take to help me sleep as the feeling it provides is identical to how I felt as my life was drifting away. Nobody knew that I tried to leave and I don't think I'll ever tell my parents just because I don't want to hurt them. The main issue I have now that my colour and emotions have come back is sometimes I don't feel present or real and I haven't been able to cry or feel much since then. In the 6 years since my attempt, I haven't found any way to release any anger or sadness I feel from just day-to-day life or issues and its finally gotten to the point that I cant take it so I would appreciate answers on why I cant get any of it out of my system.