Caring for myself and others

Quick post today let's call this 1 update

replies: 0

Started journalling very recently to try and uh get a list of problems then started running into a problem where I can't list the problem, Best use of words I had to describe it was I was okay I'll just write the journal paragraph out after this but ... View more

Started journalling very recently to try and uh get a list of problems then started running into a problem where I can't list the problem, Best use of words I had to describe it was I was okay I'll just write the journal paragraph out after this but I wrote ERROR all over it Sleep thought disturbances the inability to coherently articulate my words in a way that Sigh How's everyone else

Anxiety about graduating university

replies: 2

I am graduating from university this semester, which will be a huge achievement for me. I am excited, but I've also become increasingly worried about how my mental health will be post-grad. I've dealt with quite bad depression and anxiety in the past... View more

I am graduating from university this semester, which will be a huge achievement for me. I am excited, but I've also become increasingly worried about how my mental health will be post-grad. I've dealt with quite bad depression and anxiety in the past (it tends to ramp up for me during the longg uni breaks...) and don't know how I will go without the safety/structure of university. I have struggled to make close friends throughout uni. Whilst I have built a community with my classmates, I have found it difficult to reach out to people and progress the friendship outside of uni. I work 2 days a week at my part time job, so I will have somewhat of a schedule post-grad. I am pursuing a creative career and intend to spend the rest of my time building my freelance business. But I'm scared that without the structure of uni I will relapse into a darker place and feel paralysed by the indecision. I'm also scared that without the little social interactions I have at uni I will struggle. I know I should try to find a club or sport to join, but that's also something that also feels incredibly daunting to do alone. If you have advice or guidance pleaseee share, it would mean the world to me.

Is something wrong with me?

replies: 1

Hey everyone, I want to know if there is something wrong with me or if this is just another case of overthinking. I've been bound to this idea that i must be a good person in order to receive good things in life. hence, if i am a bad person, bad thin... View more

Hey everyone, I want to know if there is something wrong with me or if this is just another case of overthinking. I've been bound to this idea that i must be a good person in order to receive good things in life. hence, if i am a bad person, bad things will come to me. it has been torturing my mind for years and i wish i never cared about these moral consequences. especially with my actions that have unintentionally people (i have already apologised and we are on good terms now), i cant escape the thought that because of my past, that bad things will come to me. i am sitting my hsc next year and i feel like i wont get a good atar because of my bad actions (it sounds ridiculous i know). even the smallest things like forgetting to wash a cup will have me questioning if i am a good person. i need constant reassurance from people such as my parents to confirm that i am a good person. this means i will consistently ask my parents or even try and explain my behaviour to them to the point where they get frustrated at me and i start crying. i have self-inflicted injuries because i felt like i was a bad person/friend. even my thoughts arent safe, if i have bad thoughts, then i am a bad person. i would ask my questions why did you do that/ why did you think that multiple times throughout the day, and i get splitting headaches everytime i think about my actions. i kept searching up ways to deal with my past actions and yes, they are helpful, but i feel like its never enough. i am always spiralling. there was a time where i was scared to do my english assessment because i felt like ive been a bad person so i am going to receive a bad mark. i replay interactions and conversations in my head to try and determine if i was a bad person or not. i try my best to be a good person because i fear of being a bad one and its controlling my life. is there something wrong with me?

When does it get easier?

replies: 4

When does it get better? Mid thirties, diagnosed autistic, ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD and struggle to remain functioning in society. I am extremely burnt out currently from work yet have no choice but to, yet get no support from anywhere when I am basically ... View more

When does it get better? Mid thirties, diagnosed autistic, ADHD, PMDD, C-PTSD and struggle to remain functioning in society. I am extremely burnt out currently from work yet have no choice but to, yet get no support from anywhere when I am basically screaming for help! Because I made it 30 years without a diagnosis, they think I don't need the help?! No! I do! I need it now more than ever because I'm tired.I want help navigating this world that wants me to be "normal" and "typical" but it's costing me too much trying to figure it out on my own with no resources and support. I have visited GP and psychiatrist and they always throw more medication at it. Yes, I am depressed and have anxiety. Yes, my moods are extreme and confusing. Because I am trying so hard to navigate in a world that is not designed for me! Mood stabilisers aren't going to equip me with any tools! There is no chemical imbalance in my brain! I just need help functioning in this world that doesn't understand different brains. And late diagnosis. It feels hopeless.

Tiny bit of stress and pressure

replies: 1

I had a day double booked with appointments, I had to reschedule with one gp which is fine but little bit stressful going to see the new gp should be okay Tafe holidays start this week and I'm ment to be heading 8 hours away for work next Monday How ... View more

I had a day double booked with appointments, I had to reschedule with one gp which is fine but little bit stressful going to see the new gp should be okay Tafe holidays start this week and I'm ment to be heading 8 hours away for work next Monday How is everybody else

Question

replies: 2

How do I tell my parent or school that I think it would be better if I go to the psych ward or mental health place thing? My mental health is pretty bad and the last time I had a relapse on sh was the 10th of September after I told my school. I hones... View more

How do I tell my parent or school that I think it would be better if I go to the psych ward or mental health place thing? My mental health is pretty bad and the last time I had a relapse on sh was the 10th of September after I told my school. I honestly need to get away from everything because even being in a safe space stresses me out. Any tips is good

Feeling used

replies: 0

I've started dating someone from work, its a large organisation and we've been talking for almost a year before I asked him out. We went on 3 dates, things were going well and on the third date we slept together. After that I went on holiday for a we... View more

I've started dating someone from work, its a large organisation and we've been talking for almost a year before I asked him out. We went on 3 dates, things were going well and on the third date we slept together. After that I went on holiday for a week and we kept in touch while I was away. He was liking my posts on instagram. After I got back however, things changed, he took longer to reply to my messages. I asked him on a date for yesterday which he agreed to but then ghosted me for two days leading up to the date and then stood me up completely with no message or explanation. I feel so used and it's bringing up all these self loathing thoughts I have when I'm depressed. For example that I'm dumb and desperate. I really hate myself for believing that someone would be interested in me and want to date me, I really feel like an idiot.

Dog died. Parents didn't tell me.

replies: 1

Hello everyone.I found out yesterday that my dog died. She had been living with my parents for some years now. They told me that she died one week after it happened and I don't know how to feel about it. How would you feel? I will explain in an unbia... View more

Hello everyone.I found out yesterday that my dog died. She had been living with my parents for some years now. They told me that she died one week after it happened and I don't know how to feel about it. How would you feel? I will explain in an unbiased way and would like if you can reply without bias also. Looking for real opinions, not necessarily validation. Thank you so much. Context: - in 2015 after a breakup, my ex and I agreed for me to keep the dog. I could not find suitable housing as the rental market was very difficult and most owners did not want a dog or have a high fence for a large dog. - I took temporary accommodation and I asked my parents to care for my dog temporarily. It took longer than expected to find a suitable rental home and by that stage they were telling me that they had fallen in love with the dog. I didn't have the heart to take the dog away from my parents, their home was safe and permanent with a big garden and I knew they would take good care of her. I left her there and always felt guilty about it but I knew it was the best thing for her. - Fast forward to 2020. There was a family argument and a period of estrangement between me and my parents. I went no contact for a few years but then we established some type of contact where we were sending emails a couple of times per year for updates. I specifically told them to tell me anything important like if a family member was unwell etc. - they sent me an email yesterday to tell me that my dog died. She died a week ago. I had no idea that she was sick. The email they sent me was three sentences "sad news. The dog has died. She was a lovely dog" and then moved on to tell me a bunch of really normal updates about family. - I asked some questions and apparently she was very unwell for about two years and had trouble walking. And the last 6 months she struggled to get up off the floor when she lay down and she was on some really heavy medication. Then she became extremely distressed for a two day period and they decided to give her euthanasia. - whilst I am extremely grateful for them taking my dog and caring for her for such a long period of time .... I am confused about why they did not tell me that she was unwell. I would have given anything to see her one more time before she passed away. I also don't understand why they did not tell me to let me know that they were going to euthanise her. I do know that she was now their dog, and not my dog anymore. But they knew how much I loved her. - for context, my sister also went no contact with my parents (not just me) and she had already decided to go no contact with them in 2016. I went no contact for a few years starting in 2020 - 2023 when I started emailing occasionally to keep some contact. I feel shocked I guess. I was neglected emotionally as a child. This just feels like another example where they didn't consider me or care. I am also wondering if maybe they did it out of spite. Maybe they knew this would hurt me and had a subconscious attitude of "well she left the dog and she left us so lets do the wrong thing and hurt her." I don't know why they didn't tell me and give me a chance to see her at least once before she died. I don't know how to process the pain. I want to see my dog and say goodbye. I wanted to be in the know about her health and what was happening with her at the end of her life. It just feels like I am an afterthought. That they only realised after that "oh shit. Maybe we should tell her the dog is dead" like 8 days after it happened. It feels like a confirmation that they haven't changed all these years. How would you feel? Thank you for reading.

i feel like my friends don’t care about my mental health

replies: 1

so basically i don’t have good mental health, i feel like shit fairly often, i stop talking to friends in class sometimes etc. my friends are similar but there’s one major difference, i don’t sh. i don’t want to and i hope i never do, but it feels li... View more

so basically i don’t have good mental health, i feel like shit fairly often, i stop talking to friends in class sometimes etc. my friends are similar but there’s one major difference, i don’t sh. i don’t want to and i hope i never do, but it feels like my friends don’t take my problems as serious, just because i don’t sh. idk i just needed to say it

Parental Alienation

replies: 1

The mother of a family has initiated a separation from her husband after feeling alone in the marriage for years. Her husband has moved out and has taken both the kids 15 & 11, girls all of their clothes and furniture and basically left the former ho... View more

The mother of a family has initiated a separation from her husband after feeling alone in the marriage for years. Her husband has moved out and has taken both the kids 15 & 11, girls all of their clothes and furniture and basically left the former home bare except for a few items. The big problem is that the mother has now been subjected to alienating behaviours from the father, refusing to discuss access to the kids and her kids are behaving in a manner that is overtly supportive of the father while appearing to have abandoned their mother. It is really tearing her apart and nothing I have said so far trying to get her to open up to services like relationships australia has helped. I'm really struggling to keep her spirits up and I worry that she will slip into a deep depression.

Helping sibling with depression while not living at home

replies: 1

I've recently learnt that my older sister (age 25) has been really struggling with depression for over a year now and my parents are starting to get really concerned. She still lives at home with them and has gotten some support from her GP for medic... View more

I've recently learnt that my older sister (age 25) has been really struggling with depression for over a year now and my parents are starting to get really concerned. She still lives at home with them and has gotten some support from her GP for medication, however it's side effects are causing further health concerns. She declined the GP's suggestion for a referral to see a therapist and when my mum (who has been very supportive and helpful with getting my sister this far) brings it up at times, my sister always has an excuse as to why she can't do it (her work hours not suiting appointments, GP is focusing on other areas, etc). To add to this, whilst my parents are being really supportive, they are getting frustrated with how little she helps out at home. This has been on their minds for a while as the gap in each of our adult responsibilities (ie housework, personal hygiene, diet, exercise) has grown since I moved out at 18 to go to uni and since stayed away after getting a grad job. They can't grasp how us both being raised together could lead to such a difference, and how they still do everything for her and how even before the depression there was no inclination to help. Now that she's 25 they want to start charging her rent and placing housework responsibilities onto her but are fearful of how she will react to this based on her worsening depression. I also have started seeing a therapist myself, because of the stress this news is causing me. I am trying to find the right time to share this with my family but am concerned that by telling my sister she will think I'm doing so in a way to pressure her into going or shame her for not going or reinforce her thoughts that I'm "better" than her. Mum is the one who has been giving me updates on her, she is yet to openly talk to me about her depression, only that she's on medication. Looking for ways in which I'm able to support both my parents and sister through this time while not being at home with them. I live 2 hours away and see them regularly (at least once a month), on top of weekly phone calls and texts. Can tell now that mum has shared all the details with me a load has been taken off her but unsure what other things I can do to support. Tips/advice/experiences on how to support in this situation would be really helpful.

10 year relationship suddenly a mental health carer

replies: 6

Partner 32F and I 32M have been together almost 10 years, unmarried but always very much in love. In the last few years we have both been diagnosed with ADHD knowing that we have had it all out loves undiagnosed. This has improved a lot of things but... View more

Partner 32F and I 32M have been together almost 10 years, unmarried but always very much in love. In the last few years we have both been diagnosed with ADHD knowing that we have had it all out loves undiagnosed. This has improved a lot of things but has also meant that trying to improve we have failed slot along the way. The first cat that we got when we moved out together passed away, after a long medical battle and we grieved intensely. But she grieved a lot harder and longer, and to put it mildly, it wrecked her. This began a long journey of discovery through talk therapy and research, to where we now believe she has CPTSD from her childhood and autism, trying to get a diagnosis for these has been hard, not that anyone disagrees, just that its been hard for us to get consistent medical care. After, she became unable to work, going through three jobs in a short 6 months, learning that is becoming disabled, without being able to get a proper diagnosis to support it. This whole time I have been supportive and with her, but being mostly inept at anticipating and meeting her needs. I have been barely a carer and barely a partner, all the while wanting more than anything to be able to both or at least one of them. I also work full time, my job is stressful but mostly as I'm in management and am not performing where I need to due to my mind being at home alot. My partner has virtually no support network other than me as slowly through this journey, all of her previous friends just detached themselves from her for one reason or another that smacked of putting her in the too hard basket. The only family member that she has close to her in any way is her mother, but her mother is old and a large part of the reason why we believe she has CPTSD so really isn't much help to her, and I've been unable to rely on her to care for my partner in any absence I have to take. My partner spend most of our days playing videogames and watching streams as it seems to be the only thing she can do without melting down, but even that has become difficult. She has been out of the house only a handful of times in the last few months, and the times that we try to go out for something nice, there's more than a 50% chance she will get overwhelmed and overstimulated and we just won't be able to go. She is also severely depressed and has an anxiety disorder. She has had plenty of suicidal ideation and hurts herself sometimes. Recently, this has been low and manageable. I normally have control of my emotions, but there have been a couple times recently where I have either frozen or gotten angry and banged my hand loudly against something hurting myself and scaring her. I am coming to my wits end. She always says that I'm going to eventually get sick of her being sad and mean and just leave her, but I've barely ever considered that. I love her deeply and she needs me, even if I didn't love her as much of want to be there, what is she going to do if I leave? She has no one, and she has had suicidal ideation. If I leave, that would shatter her more than anything else. If anyone has suggestions for anything, please help. Both her and I have been speaking with therapists and they do help slightly.

Understanding who my son is now.

replies: 1

Thankyou for this space to help me understand.My son has recently been released from prison for the second time in 2.5 years.I miss him so much.When I lost him to the prison system the first time, life for me was already falling apart.His court dates... View more

Thankyou for this space to help me understand.My son has recently been released from prison for the second time in 2.5 years.I miss him so much.When I lost him to the prison system the first time, life for me was already falling apart.His court dates and his future release was the only thing that kept me from collapse, as I had to be in control of me.He went totally off the rails with in 12 months after release.This time, I watch more of who he is, just disappear.I have no idea how to reach him and our relationship.Understanding prison and what it does to people,is a major subject which I continue to walk through.This is what I have figured so far.In his world now,he sees everything in a totally different perspective, including people.He carries a trauma that is his only.The norms of life,are not so normal now.His knowledge and lessons gathered during incarceration,are subjects for him only and his survival in and out of prison.Emotions are contained,a black void I guess.What happens in jail,stays in jail.I asked him this time when I picked him up "What does a good day in jail look like?"He replied "Everyday in jail is a good day mum.If you're days in jail are all bad days,you might as well triple your own sentencing time."His words hit me so hard, that I suddenly felt like the child,and he the elder..My son has experienced and lived in one of the harshest, scariest environments,alone.I watch him now,and I understand, that, that is how he still has to operate out here.Because twice now,he has been removed from his life.And twice now,he came out through the other end.I do not support crime at all, but having the experience in my life of losing him to that veiled prison world,and being able to physically see,talk and hug him still, I find strangely admirable..I said to my boy,"Son, each time we experience something,it changes parts of us, for good,bad or indifference.With the really hard ones, please find a way to keep your heart soft and kind"His reply:"I'm trying to mum,you see,in jail, your heart doesn't exist,if it did, I wouldn't be standing here now"I would do anything to get my son back,and that's all I have been doing.I realised right then, I do have him back, I do.A different version of him, but I do have him.And that is where I am at in this for now.Because he also has a different version of his mother.We will be okay,We have to be.Janie

Sad

replies: 1

Feeling depressed as my son got remanded yesterday but today i feel really depressed

Sons on remand

replies: 2

I am heart broken Never had any kids in trouble until now.My youngest son last night was refused bail and is now on remand in police cells waiting to be transferred to the MAP.Next court date is in October I cant stop crying its heart shattering.My s... View more

I am heart broken Never had any kids in trouble until now.My youngest son last night was refused bail and is now on remand in police cells waiting to be transferred to the MAP.Next court date is in October I cant stop crying its heart shattering.My son has mental health and I am concerned for his mental well being.

Quick post today let's call this 1 update replies: 0

Anxiety about graduating university replies: 2

Is something wrong with me? replies: 1

When does it get easier? replies: 4

Tiny bit of stress and pressure replies: 1

Question replies: 2

Feeling used replies: 0

Dog died. Parents didn't tell me. replies: 1

i feel like my friends don’t care about my mental health replies: 1

Parental Alienation replies: 1

Helping sibling with depression while not living at home replies: 1

10 year relationship suddenly a mental health carer replies: 6

Understanding who my son is now. replies: 1

Sad replies: 1

Sons on remand replies: 2