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Caring for myself and others

Supporting people’s mental health is important, but so is your wellbeing. Learn strategies for caring about yourself and those around you.

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Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Guest_96793600 Burnt out Health Care Giver
  • replies: 1

I'm a healthcare giver, have been looking after people for over 43 years and always put other people first, so much so when it comes to myself, there's nothing left in the tank. I'm burnt out. Done.It's very difficult to have a regular exercise routi... View more

I'm a healthcare giver, have been looking after people for over 43 years and always put other people first, so much so when it comes to myself, there's nothing left in the tank. I'm burnt out. Done.It's very difficult to have a regular exercise routine when I work shift work and am exhausted by the time get home. Eating sensibly and regular exercise requires discipline, determination and organisation - yet I know it makes me feel good when I apply myself. I am 15-20 kgs over my healthy weight range, feel like a beached whale and totally unattractive. I am good at my job and am mostly appreciated at work but feel there has got to be more to life. I have friends and family but cannot really express how badly I feel about myself. I see a Psychologist usually once per month but this does not help much. I'm on anti anxiety medications but tend to resort to alcohol more than I should which does not help the situation. I just don't know how to get my Mojo back and strengthen my will power muscle. I'd appreciate any pearls of wisdom in the vain hope that I can put into action some strategies and feel better about myself before it's too late.

Guest_40175004 Recovery addict
  • replies: 1

My partner is a recovering addict, we got together when he was still using, have known each other for about 14 years. Anyway I said things wouldn't work with him.using so he has stopped 4 months clean and before that he was using less and less.I'm su... View more

My partner is a recovering addict, we got together when he was still using, have known each other for about 14 years. Anyway I said things wouldn't work with him.using so he has stopped 4 months clean and before that he was using less and less.I'm super proud of how far he has come, growing so much as an individual and re building relationships with family members. But I feel like our relationship is falling apart, it's like he has no interest in me, this starting happening the less he was using and is completely gone, not affectionate at all.. is this a part of the recovery process ? I ask him all the time and he says we're fine he just doesn't know what's wrong with sexually!! I just don't know how to feel anymore, I feel like he has lost all love for me I'm not even sure what im looking for here

car10001 Sharing My Knee Injury Experience
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I'm here to share my experience with a knee injury I had a while back. I hope my story can help others who might be going through something similar. A few years ago, I was working at a shop when I twisted my knee while unloading some ite... View more

Hi everyone, I'm here to share my experience with a knee injury I had a while back. I hope my story can help others who might be going through something similar. A few years ago, I was working at a shop when I twisted my knee while unloading some items. At first, I thought I might have done serious damage. The pain was pretty intense initially, and I thought id done some damage and couldnt walk on it for a few moments. Fortunately, I was able to walk again after a few minutes, which felt like a relief but i still had to be careful to not shock the knee for rest of the afternoon while not making it obvious. then oneday at a school my knee injury came back and was limping a little to a point i had to hold onto something to take weight off for just a moment. luckily that afternoon i sat at computers with leg up on desk frame resting it while doing the admin side of a job all afternoon. This experience taught me the importance of self-care and being mindful of my body. If you're dealing with a knee injury or any pain, please remember to take care of yourself and seek help if needed. You're not alone in this. I’d love to hear about your experiences or any tips you might have for dealing with injuries. Let's support each other! thanks

Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.

ABC01 Confused about different types of groups
  • replies: 3

Dear All, I am slightly confused about the different types of groups available to participate in. I have found a support group and a social group. Are there any other types of groups? My understanding is that a support group is to introduce yourself,... View more

Dear All, I am slightly confused about the different types of groups available to participate in. I have found a support group and a social group. Are there any other types of groups? My understanding is that a support group is to introduce yourself, tell how your time has been going and discuss how you may cope(as in strategies or techniques that work for you,so other can hear them). For the particular topic of the support group. And then others in the group do the same. It is a supportive environment. But there is no education component. As in a lesson on the topic. A social group is to meet like minded people or people in a similar situation, but instead of discussing these feelings, is an outlet to meet people and have a coffee and chat. Not too heavy or deep. Also may allow people to get out of the house and the group members understand how hard it is for people to have done that. Also no educational component. Is this correct?Are there any other group types in relation to mental health that I am not aware off? Thank you for reading,ABC01

Pura Hi All, I 'd to Introduce myself
  • replies: 2

Hi I am Pura, new to the forum. I am 44 year old mom to three kids. I am a self diagnosed ( much later in life)ADD person and I have two children who has the same traits. My aim is to learn more about ADD and find effective tools for us to thrive. Al... View more

Hi I am Pura, new to the forum. I am 44 year old mom to three kids. I am a self diagnosed ( much later in life)ADD person and I have two children who has the same traits. My aim is to learn more about ADD and find effective tools for us to thrive. All my life I have felt as a misfit, lost and suffered from low confidence due to not being like others. I want to harness my strengths, manage chaos around me, and regain my confidence.

Guest_26163501 Struggle Street
  • replies: 5

Hi.. So I'm starting to really struggle, I have been "managing" depression for 30 years and have tried many methods, medications, and therapists, but am now at a loss, anyone have anything new that has helped?

Hi.. So I'm starting to really struggle, I have been "managing" depression for 30 years and have tried many methods, medications, and therapists, but am now at a loss, anyone have anything new that has helped?

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

CrazyInLove Saving My Marriage
  • replies: 0

Hi there, I have been with my husband for 13 years and he has been distant and detached for a few months now. We have tried to talk a couple of times, but he only opened up a little bit. Last night he came from work and told me he needed to find his ... View more

Hi there, I have been with my husband for 13 years and he has been distant and detached for a few months now. We have tried to talk a couple of times, but he only opened up a little bit. Last night he came from work and told me he needed to find his identity and stability, and that he doesn’t really see a future with me. We openly talked for hours and cleared up so many misunderstandings that happened over the years, but he is telling me it is too late. I thought I was doing my best to always support him through some very challenging times, but he thought that was making him feel dependent and worth even less, and feeling down because he is unable to support us, and I should be with someone else. I have always been the main income earner and comfortable with that, while he has changed a few careers and worked mostly at entry level, and he is still working out what he wants to do, but now feels extremely bad about not being financially stable and able to support us. He has supported us in many other ways which I often tell them and thank him for it. He has always wanted kids. In the past I did not want children which has changed recently. I felt so insecure financially and with work for years, and now I’ve been quietly hoping it is finally the time, have even saved up to be able to take time off work, and have been trying to find a good time to talk to him about it in the past few months, but the time never came. He has struggled with finding his feet over the years, from being a teenager through to now, but things have never reached this level.I love him so very much and I am so committed to do whatever it takes to be there for him and with him. I suggested we talk to a third party to work it out, but he is not willing to speak to anyone. After hours of talking last night and telling me that he wanted to work on himself, loved me, but felt like there was no future, he still came to sleep in our bed but did not touch me. This morning he told me he felt the same, but wanted us both to stay in the house and share responsibilities while he wants to work on himself, find out what he likes to do, find a better job and start contributing to the bills, and see how he feels later and then maybe there is a chance to work on our relationship.We are booked to visit our families overseas next month, but he told me he is no longer going and I should go alone.I have no idea what to do. I love him so much. I'd appreciate any experiences and opinions you have. Thank you.

beyond_confused Found my partners hidden Viagra and currently loosing my mind over it!
  • replies: 3

Has anyone ever found a secret stash their partners sexual enhancement pills in their partners cupboard? Did you ask them about it straight away or did you wait to see when the next time they used one to see if it was with you or someone else? I felt... View more

Has anyone ever found a secret stash their partners sexual enhancement pills in their partners cupboard? Did you ask them about it straight away or did you wait to see when the next time they used one to see if it was with you or someone else? I felt something was off yesterday so I searched for answers and I found them hidden, there's currently three pills missing and I'm loosing my mind as to what to do about it. Any tips or advice would be great... thank you!!!

Guest_55359737 Please help me leave my marriage
  • replies: 1

How do I leave? What is the process and what happens to the children? Especially when one parent is threatening to take them off the other. How can I make this split amicably?I am enduring abuse, emotionally and mentally. I need a therapist. But I am... View more

How do I leave? What is the process and what happens to the children? Especially when one parent is threatening to take them off the other. How can I make this split amicably?I am enduring abuse, emotionally and mentally. I need a therapist. But I am not sure what kind. I feel like I will just cry at them the entire time.What financial aid is available to single parents in NSW ? I earn an ok wage, but things are so expensive atm I feel financially stuck here.My husband is an angry person at the best of times. He blames me for everything, he berates me like a child. He claims he is a 'traditionalist' this just means that I, as the woman cleans and does everything. As well as work my 40+ hours a week job. I have many reasons I want to leave that i believe would be legit reasons anyone would leave. But I am worried that he will paint me as crazy. That is how he makes me feel. I am in desperate need for help. How did you do it?

Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

Emsmum Supporting my 18yr old daughter who is suffering from severe anxiety and has been self harming.
  • replies: 3

My daughter has been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for the last year. She has a lot of support from counsellors and a psychologist and doctor but I just feel so helpless. She has self harmed in the past and is on medication from her gp... View more

My daughter has been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for the last year. She has a lot of support from counsellors and a psychologist and doctor but I just feel so helpless. She has self harmed in the past and is on medication from her gp. I just wish I could help. She just needs hugs from me which of course I’m happy to give. How can I show her or tell her I’m there for her.

soo ideas to support wife with depression
  • replies: 1

hey, Don't know where to start so I'll give a brief overview of past 5years. Been trying for years to have a child (natural and ivf) many miscarriages etc, finally we where blessed just over 4 yrs ago. Our baby passed during childbirth. Was a massive... View more

hey, Don't know where to start so I'll give a brief overview of past 5years. Been trying for years to have a child (natural and ivf) many miscarriages etc, finally we where blessed just over 4 yrs ago. Our baby passed during childbirth. Was a massive hit for myself and we have never been the same mentally. I can compartmentalise better than my wife I think. I still feel the sadness everyday and grt anxiety pretty bad at times (which never had before) but I keep on chugging. My wife has struggled alot since then, mentally. She has tried counsellors, medication everything I can think of and nothing has worked. We've had multiple other things happen that have been extremely stress inducing during this time but we got through it At the same time this happened I had changed careers due to wanting something to better our family long term which meant starting from the bottom and my wife having to take on more of a breadwinner role. Which she was fine with. I am 5months off sitting my final exam and finally being able to contribute more than minimum wage (am a 4th yr apprentice with another trade I've completed previously) I've injured myself at work lately and require surgery which means I won't be able to sit my exams for another maybe 12months. This has made my wife spiral like crazy. Lots of extreme mood swings, blaming me for everything under the sun - everything is too hard, I'm sick of working (i work 60hr weeks, but she makes significantly more than me right now), the goal posts keep moving, I'm at my wits end etc I've tried supporting her by listening and offering suggestions- go back to talk to counsellor etc (as I have no idea what to say) which gets met with anger and "I'm not crazy, they don't help, nothing helps" etc. I've asked what she wants me to do and she gets upset that i dont have to answers to everything. life's hard, you just have to keep pushing through it. It will grt better. But she has been an absolute wreck the last week since finding out I need surgery and won't be back at work for 8months or so. Next year was spose to be her year of being able to relax a bit, spend more time with our 2nd daughter. Me not being at work doesn't change any of this, I'm still getting paid, I'm doing all the house work I can with my injury. I just don't understand whats going on. I'm disappointed aswell but letting it destroy your life isn't going to make it any better. I just don't know what to do or what to say anymore.

Long-term support over the journey

A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.

Pyrolee 7th Place of employment and feeling really angry and defeated and life with family is hard
  • replies: 2

I've recently been let go at my 7th workplace, this time I was let go because they said there isn't enough work despite the company being the 2nd largest and busiest plumbing company in the state. I feel like i was unfairly dismissed with no warnings... View more

I've recently been let go at my 7th workplace, this time I was let go because they said there isn't enough work despite the company being the 2nd largest and busiest plumbing company in the state. I feel like i was unfairly dismissed with no warnings or verbal information of anything I've done wrong. This is my 7th place and I'm feeling why is this constantly happening. I'm actually a genuine nice person and hard working and not there to cause any issues but I feel like I've made enemies and all, legit haven't done anything wrong. I'm currently serving out my notice period of 1 week and feels so awkward and trapped. With Christmas being around the corner I'm worried about not being able to get another job. I feel like I need answers and closure to why this keeps happening but every time I reach out its always a it'll be fine but this keeps happening where I go from a company ask millions of questions to make sure it's suited for me long term and get screwed around and it's really playing an affect my mood and purpose of living. Also both my kids have been diagnosed with health issues, one has moderate hearing loss and specialist and doctors can't figure out where and how and the other child has severe allergies to wheat, eggs and peanuts. I'm feeling like why is life constantly throwing me curve balls like this and everytime I'm needing this to stop it keeps coming back worse. What should I do? I'm feeling like I'm letting down my family cause of this work issue constantly happening

Janey123 How do I build my self worth outside of work?
  • replies: 2

Hello, Since my late 20s, I have been very career focussed and have based a lot of my self-worth on what I achieve in my professional life. I am now in my 40s, and have a great job managing a fast-paced project. I have been in the role for 2 years an... View more

Hello, Since my late 20s, I have been very career focussed and have based a lot of my self-worth on what I achieve in my professional life. I am now in my 40s, and have a great job managing a fast-paced project. I have been in the role for 2 years and while I have done a really good job on a tough project and receive regular praise from management, I am finding that I go through pretty regular cycles of burnout, usually accompanied by imposter syndrome and anxiety. My work regularly pushes me outside of my comfort zone and this takes a huge toll on my mental health outside of work. I am very introverted and prefer to read and watch tv to playing sport or going out to socialise. I have small children, and live rurally so my time and options for outside of work things is quite limited. Through most of my life, it is my work that has given me the mental stimulation I need and most of my socialisation. I feel like as I get older, and my kids start school, I am less driven to continue pushing myself so hard at work. I want to take the pressure off and have the 'space' to focus on other aspects of my life.. Maybe my values are changing? I am tired of always being so stressed at home because of work. I recently dropped my hours back to be at home more, but I have found it has made me feel more stressed as I am trying to fit more in to less time. I still find that I am always pushing hard to achieve more at work because I don't know how not to.. and my mental health is deteriorating. How do I continue doing well enough at work, but not drive myself to the point of poor mental health? How do I place more importance on my life outside of work? Thanks, Janey

Sparkling2003 Long -term difference?
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone, Not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on. Just wanting to hear from people who have struggled with mental health or know people that have struggled with mental health long-term. I would like to know if once they seek ... View more

Hello everyone, Not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on. Just wanting to hear from people who have struggled with mental health or know people that have struggled with mental health long-term. I would like to know if once they seek help was there a positive change in them and their relationships with people. Just looking for a little bit of hope that when my loved one does finally decide to seek help that eventually they will be happy and the environment will be calmer. I understand that there will always be moments that aren't positive but I'm currently feeling very hopeless and the idea that our relationship will mend is seeming very impossible. Just looking for guidance and peoples experience that will give me hope that there is chance our relationships will better or if I just need to accept that this may be the new norm.