Forums guidelines
Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.
Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.
Merry Christmas 2025
Once again, I am going to wish the world a very merry Christmas and a happy new year for 2026.Best wishes for inner peace and harmonyamd1953
Once again, I am going to wish the world a very merry Christmas and a happy new year for 2026.Best wishes for inner peace and harmonyamd1953
Medical Hair Loss at 19
I’m a nineteen year old girl. I am social, I love fashion, makeup, my beauty is my world. I lost 65% of my hair this year after a clinical trial and I am so beyond heartbroken. This is the hardest thing I have gone through in my whole five-year healt... View more
I’m a nineteen year old girl. I am social, I love fashion, makeup, my beauty is my world. I lost 65% of my hair this year after a clinical trial and I am so beyond heartbroken. This is the hardest thing I have gone through in my whole five-year health journey and is the absolute worst pain. My hair has been my world, I’ve had hundreds of coloured streaks and patterns since I was 12 and have always had the most healthy, long and thick hair that I have always valued as my favourite feature about myself.
Christmas
This is my first post.The only part of Christmas I did like is buy gifts for everyone, now I only buy for my Grandchildren. No desire to drag the decorations out, I live alone & will not have any contact with my family for the 3rd year. It gets lonel... View more
This is my first post.The only part of Christmas I did like is buy gifts for everyone, now I only buy for my Grandchildren. No desire to drag the decorations out, I live alone & will not have any contact with my family for the 3rd year. It gets lonely but I prefer to be alone. No expectations or pressure this way.
Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.
Feeling unsettled
I suffer from CPTSD and am in my sixties now. I engaged with a psychologist this morning (for the first time with them) and they went through the confidentiality guidelines. Now, my anxiety is in overdrive. Can my psychologist report my childhood abu... View more
I suffer from CPTSD and am in my sixties now. I engaged with a psychologist this morning (for the first time with them) and they went through the confidentiality guidelines. Now, my anxiety is in overdrive. Can my psychologist report my childhood abuse to the authorities? I was clear about only wanting to talk to someone, and that one of my abusers has passed away and the other is in their eighties.I'm not in danger, and neither is anyone else, so am I right in believing nothing can be reported?
What should I do if I think ive been misdiagnosed?
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia but I'm learning about BPD and i feel its the cause of my hallucinations. I personally believe I have 5 or potentially more of the 9 symptoms I didnt really understand all of the criteria. And my hallucinations only... View more
I was diagnosed with schizophrenia but I'm learning about BPD and i feel its the cause of my hallucinations. I personally believe I have 5 or potentially more of the 9 symptoms I didnt really understand all of the criteria. And my hallucinations only occur when im under emotional or mental distress. I have symptoms of schizophrenia too so maybe I have both or neither, idk really know im just lost and confused and distressed about this whole thing. I cant get into a new therapist until February next year at minimum. This post probably doesnt fit but idk where to ask.
After 20 years BPD partner wants a divorce
All that time and all the range, the screaming, the psychological abuse, i lost good friends because of the way she talks to people but i stuck by them accepted that this is a part of them, i love them for just who they are. but my actions were perce... View more
All that time and all the range, the screaming, the psychological abuse, i lost good friends because of the way she talks to people but i stuck by them accepted that this is a part of them, i love them for just who they are. but my actions were perceived as abandonment. plus we get to relive all the other things i did that they didn't like or upset them i understand the pain there going through, especially reliving all those thing one after another that has to be hard been 4 weeks in the other room any time i try and approach the topic, they split again and i am all bad once again, i would love to give them a cuddle and just say its going to be ok but they wont even talk and if they do its little poking comments that they would want to say anything because it might upset me i haven't yelled i haven't got angry, i have been hit, yelled at, called names, and i am still here.i am so lost
Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.
Open marriage
My wife and I have been married for 12 years and have a wonderful loving relationship with 2 teenage kids. I trust my wife 100 percent. Before we got together she had a relationship with another guy that was mostly about sex, ie. Kind of like friends... View more
My wife and I have been married for 12 years and have a wonderful loving relationship with 2 teenage kids. I trust my wife 100 percent. Before we got together she had a relationship with another guy that was mostly about sex, ie. Kind of like friends with benefits as the guy was a complete commitment phobe, due to being cheated on in a past relationship which also happened to my wife, her first husband cheated on her, so I think they had some kind of bond and they have known each other since they were teenagers.About 12 months ago my wife started talking to him again and have formed a friendship which I have no problem with, even though I think he is an idiot and I have nothing to do with him. Somehow when she spends time with him, he makes her happy, I put it down to that when she is with him she is free and not mum or the doting wife being weighed down with all the boring family stuff while she is there. About 3 months ago she bought up the topic of opening our marriage and we did a lot of talking about it, we came to an agreement that nothing would happen unless we were both 100% on board. A couple of weeks back we both agreed. Now she did not rush out and have sex with the guy as at the time she wasn't even sure she wanted to, anyway I got cold feet and asked her not to, so she hasn't. She still does visit him as normal friends would though. Yesterday we talked again and she said that she would like have sex with him again but would only do it with my permission, now I'm not totally against it, i'd get to have sex with someone else as well. She tells me that she is 100% committed to our relationship and she loves me more then anything which I believe. I am also very committed to my wife and until she bought up the idea of opening our marriage would never have even thought about having sex with someone else but the idea is sort of appealing. I guess my question is has anyone done the open marriage thing and is it worth it and what feelings did you have when your partner did actually sleep with someone else.
Isolated and alone, marital issues, etc
Hi, I'm a mother of 3 and have been married for 19 years. 3 years ago I found out that my partner is cheating on me, with an ex-girl friend. He has been cheating on me on and off with this person for about 22 years. Yes, he has been cheating on me pr... View more
Hi, I'm a mother of 3 and have been married for 19 years. 3 years ago I found out that my partner is cheating on me, with an ex-girl friend. He has been cheating on me on and off with this person for about 22 years. Yes, he has been cheating on me prior to getting married too! Since I found out, I have been completely distraught, felt like my whole world has ended. He is apologetic, and wants to work it out with me. But I do not trust him. He lied and cheated for 22 years. Everything I know about his affair to date are things I have found out through other people. He has never disclosed anything 'new'. I feel so isolated and alone. My kids do not know anything about it. When I am with them I pretend everything is normal. But I am dead inside.
Blindsiding separation, have kids, please advise.
Dear good people of this forum, I'm going through a trial separation of 4 weeks that I didn't see coming. It's the biggest shock in my life and I'm desperate for some advice. I have no illusion about the outcome, it will be a form of permanent separa... View more
Dear good people of this forum, I'm going through a trial separation of 4 weeks that I didn't see coming. It's the biggest shock in my life and I'm desperate for some advice. I have no illusion about the outcome, it will be a form of permanent separation but I'd like to know which one is best for the kids. Please hear me out! A bit of context first. We both don't work and lead a relatively frugal lifestyle. We decided to step out of the workforce so we have more time for our kids' early childhood. We are living in a small part of her parents house, to save on living costs. She is the life architect of this family. She researches and plans everything, she homeschools the kids and takes them to homeschooling groups and plans holiday activities, etc.. I do all the housework: shopping, cooking/baking, cleaning but I do also chauffeur the kids to some of their activities, take them to doctors, put them to bed, look after them when they wake up in the night, etc.. Kind of a reverse role, as people have told me before, but I learned to live with it. We defaulted over the years to this arrangement because it was a clean separation of duties sparing us frequent decision making about who does what. It wasn't enough though, we still found ways to argue, too much recently. I've been using the couch for 2 weeks, the kids have no clue about the separation. I feel drained and exhausted from the shock of the separation and its consequences. I'm breaking every day imagining how the kids will be affected. My youngest (6), who's been really stressed by our constant 'squabbles' before the separation told me several times she was worried about me 'unmarrying' her mum, something I never thought would happen, and I had sincerely promised her as much. Nothing destroys me more than the thought of the realization on her face as I break my word and she sees me for a liar for the rest of her life. My wife seems fine. Hearing her having a good time with the kids in the next room while I'm just struggling to keep a face together is more than I can take some days. I don't feel able to be myself around the kids anymore either, they've started to notice my gloomier attitude and so I started avoiding being too long near them and that's killing me too. My mind goes over this question a thousand times per day: is it better to leave and try to rebuild a life nearby? I have no job, I've been out of the workforce for 4 years, I don't own a house or a car. I have some savings but nothing that will last long in this expensive country. If I restart from scratch, I'll probably only get the weekend to see my girls, and they'll see me in my most exhausted state for half of it. I'll get to see 2/7 of their childhood at best. The thought of it is destroying me. Losing their mum felt like a torn limb, I can't imagine what it's going to feel like to actually be cut off my kids for 5 days a week. An absolute nightmare. On the other hand, if we work out a way of cohabitating after separation, I'll get to see the kids, hear about their day everyday, be there when they need comfort, when they wake up in the night, I will still feel like part of their life. The problem will be running into my wife frequently, sharing the same kitchen, fridge, car (also belongs to her mum), it'll be a constant reminder of rejection, of how I'm not enough and not worthwhile to her, of the failed marriage, of the fact that I'm basically just a cheap live-in house helper now. I also absolutely don't want to witness her bringing in someone new and him cozying up to the kids, becoming their cool step-dad. Another nightmare that might push me off a bridge. There is no good choice for me here, so what's best for the kids? Please share your wisdom. TLDNR: Wife and I are trial separating under the same roof. I'm not living it well. It's going to be hard to see the kids if I leave and rebuild my life, and hard to be happy if I stay for co-parenting. Which is better for the kids long-term? Both depressing, for different reasons, to me. Please advise.
Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.
Support for parent of a teen criminal
I’m looking for someone who’s been through parenting a child who’s committed crimes. My 14yo has been caught up in the violent crimes that have taken over Melbourne. He’s from a loving (single parent) home but has fallen into the wrong group and has ... View more
I’m looking for someone who’s been through parenting a child who’s committed crimes. My 14yo has been caught up in the violent crimes that have taken over Melbourne. He’s from a loving (single parent) home but has fallen into the wrong group and has committed some horrific crimes. His crime spree lasted about 4 weeks where he was arrested 3 times. After his 3rd arrest he was remanded to parkville and has not been granted bail - it’s been over a month. After the 2nd failed attempt at bail he’s completely shut down, refusing any communication with lawyers, youth justice, me, other family members. My heart is absolutely breaking. Prior to his 1st arrest I had sought out help for 12 months from any agency I could because I could see him becoming disengaged and all told me he didn’t qualify because he wasn’t “bad enough”. After the last arrest I was told he didn’t qualify because the charges were too serious. I’m one of the most hated parents in Melbourne right now and I have to put on a brave face each day for my other kids but I’m broken inside. I’m scared to go to the shops in case someone sees me and says something. I’m scared somebody will say something to my other kids. I’m scared him being in custody this long will ruin him. It’s just me and my kids and I’m struggling to hold down a full time job, parent my other kids and support him through this. Not having anyone to talk to who understands is really hard.
Sick of being everybody's reminder person
I am so sick and tired of people asking ME to do stuff for THEM that they should be doing for themselves. I am not their keeper. They are fully grown, capable adults who seemingly cannot be bothered to organise their own schedules. Perhaps I should s... View more
I am so sick and tired of people asking ME to do stuff for THEM that they should be doing for themselves. I am not their keeper. They are fully grown, capable adults who seemingly cannot be bothered to organise their own schedules. Perhaps I should start charging them a fee for being their personal assistant! Seriously! I mean, how hard is it to set your own alarm or put something on your own calendar??? Sometimes this mental load that I seem to end up carrying for others is just too much.
Supporting a depressed partner
My partner (30M) has suffered depression for as long as he can remember and is also currently going through the autism/adhd diagnosis process. He struggles with alcohol and cannabis use. This year so far he has had three serious suicidal bouts where ... View more
My partner (30M) has suffered depression for as long as he can remember and is also currently going through the autism/adhd diagnosis process. He struggles with alcohol and cannabis use. This year so far he has had three serious suicidal bouts where myself and his family had serious concerns for his wellbeing. He is seeing a therapist and was taking meds. He’s stopped taking them after 3 weeks and stated he’s only going to therapy because we are fixing him and that it’s useless and a waste of time/money. we have a young child and I’m growing increasingly concerned about his capacity to care for them and concerned about his behaviours. At what point do we try other things? Discuss inpatient places? Myself and his family believe we shave tried all the first steps here - GP, therapist, psych, meds etc. but at a loss as to what now? any advice appreciated.
A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.
I feel like my depression will never get better
I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for years now and it never seems to get better. everytime I start new meds I feel better for like a week and then it's back to it. I know that's how meds work but it's still frustrating to get a taste ... View more
I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for years now and it never seems to get better. everytime I start new meds I feel better for like a week and then it's back to it. I know that's how meds work but it's still frustrating to get a taste of what my life could be like. I've done therapy and counselling and all that but I can never make myself believe I'll get better, which is probably why they don't work. I think about suicide all the time but I feel like my depression isn't bad enough to make me actually do it. I sometimes wish my life would get worse so I could finally get it over with. even when my depression isn't as bad as usual I still feel like I'm just pushing back my inevitable suicide. like no matter what I do it'll eventually happen and I'm just prolonging it. because I feel like I'll never get better, I spend all my time hoping I'll just die. even if I do get better, I'll probably never be "normal" so it's hard to even care. I've heard of being passively suicidal but I feel like this might be more than that idk tho.
Planning on driving a car with ASD
Hey,It's James here (now 20 turning 21 this year) with ASDI'm planning on saving money to buy my car so I can drive it only on a farm (with no public access) with my support personIf your any questions please askThanks
Hey,It's James here (now 20 turning 21 this year) with ASDI'm planning on saving money to buy my car so I can drive it only on a farm (with no public access) with my support personIf your any questions please askThanks
What’s the point.
Mkay. I’m 42. I’ve spent most of my life going through the motions. My therapist has said I likely have c-ptsd from childhood trauma. I’m having marriage issues that I’m trying to fix. Sometimes I feel like what’s the point. I’m midlife. I’ve already... View more
Mkay. I’m 42. I’ve spent most of my life going through the motions. My therapist has said I likely have c-ptsd from childhood trauma. I’m having marriage issues that I’m trying to fix. Sometimes I feel like what’s the point. I’m midlife. I’ve already spent most of my life going through the motions. What’s another 20 or so years. But a part of me wants to feel alive. And live. But another part thinks why bother. And I am constantly torn between the two. And wanting to ‘fix’ myself so I can be truly happy? If that makes sense. Has anyone else, older, ‘healed’ and found ‘joy’? Is it ever too late?
