Caring for myself and others

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SC_12 Feeling of Regret and Worry
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Hi  I'm currently studying at a Uni here in Melbourne. I got a cat 2 weeks ago and returned him to a rescue organization due to severe anxiety and stress. I have cats back in my home country, and since I miss them, I decided to adopt a cat. However,... View more

Hi 🙂 I'm currently studying at a Uni here in Melbourne. I got a cat 2 weeks ago and returned him to a rescue organization due to severe anxiety and stress. I have cats back in my home country, and since I miss them, I decided to adopt a cat. However, after having him, I started feeling uneasy, and anxious and had extreme worries. Worries like if he won't poop, scared too much if he goes out when I'm away most of the day (WIndows and doors re closed though), or my inability to play with him when I get home from work as I'm mentally and physically tired. This led me to sleepless nights, panic and not doing important things like going to school, low energy at work and not being able to talk to my partner and close friends at all. I decided to return him and prioritize myself knowing that I have to juggle so much with study, work, and obligations back in my home country and also for my cat, that he finds a home that has play time and can fully take care of him. Now, I feel sad all of a sudden, miss the cat and sometimes feel empty when I'm alone and if I made the right decision. Can you help me feel better and not to be so harsh on myself? I feel so bad 😞

quirkywords What I learned today.?
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Sometimes when I am having a challenging day I like to think of something I learned no matter how small.I thought it would be interesting to see what others learn each day. what I learnt today.?I found that a person being helpful makes me smile.

Sometimes when I am having a challenging day I like to think of something I learned no matter how small.I thought it would be interesting to see what others learn each day. what I learnt today.?I found that a person being helpful makes me smile.

Pink grapefruit Motivation as a leader
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When you have toxic team members in your team at workplace who complains to you about your leadership and that makes you less evaluated as a leader, how will you keep motivate yourself and tackle this situation?

When you have toxic team members in your team at workplace who complains to you about your leadership and that makes you less evaluated as a leader, how will you keep motivate yourself and tackle this situation?

Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.

max89 GHB withdrawal. i am a litttle worrried
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for the past 3 solid weeks ive been dosing GHB all day long its been helping me get through a depressive state but its gotten to the point where im using it from the moment i wake up till i go to sleep at night, and even then im sleeping less then 3 ... View more

for the past 3 solid weeks ive been dosing GHB all day long its been helping me get through a depressive state but its gotten to the point where im using it from the moment i wake up till i go to sleep at night, and even then im sleeping less then 3 to 4 hours im using atleast 30ml a day ive been reading about withdrawals and its got me quite worried... ive kicked meth habbits before, cannabis but after reading about the come down its got me quite woirried anyone got any advise? i was thinking of microdosing for a day or two, 1ml in the morning, 1ml at night just to get my body ready for the withdrawals any advise?? thanks

javalava13 Struggling to know how to speak to my psych
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Hi, I've been going through a pretty low stage for the past few months and have gotten used to this very low bar of mood. I've also just been very in my own head (more than normal) so have a few things I wanted to come to this forum to share and I wo... View more

Hi, I've been going through a pretty low stage for the past few months and have gotten used to this very low bar of mood. I've also just been very in my own head (more than normal) so have a few things I wanted to come to this forum to share and I would love any advice. I've been having some suicidal thoughts which I was speaking to my psychologist about. I've been feeling slightly better after about 3 weeks of these intense thoughts (I think?) but I'm just so confused where I'm at. I have a real issue with judging myself for feeling depressed or having suicidal thoughts, often thinking I am just trying to get attention when I open up about this. I have been having less of the really concerning/harmful thoughts but I am still incredibly low and never don't just want to disappear. I don't really know what the problem is or what I'm asking for advice on but I am just having trouble explaining where I am at to my psych because while I am still feeling incredibly low and hopeless, I am not feeling at risk so think I'm judging myself for complaining at all. I also don't know if I am actually doing enough to get out of this spot because sometimes I feel like I just want to sit in the low emotions and am not trying hard enough to feel better, but I feel too guilty/ashamed to admit that. Another thing I was hoping for advice on was talking about was how to speak about a fear of sex or intimacy with my psych. I have raised it once or twice so she knows about it briefly, but it is something I really, really want and feel I need to fix, or work through, as I feel so insecure in every part of my life because of it. I don't know how to raise it, or ask her to focus more of my sessions on it, because I feel so uncomfortable talking about it. Just for context, I am 26 and have literally done nothing remotely intimate with anyone because I am so uncomfortable. I know this is a lot and I am jumping around, but honestly any advice would be incredibly appreciated.

madfickle I am desperate.
  • replies: 8

I'm 26F and have been struggling with mental illness my entire life. I have had multiple diagnoses and I don't know what's right and wrong, but I'll just list them all: 5 years old: ADHD, ODD, conduct disorder 6 years old: Autism 8 years old: Depress... View more

I'm 26F and have been struggling with mental illness my entire life. I have had multiple diagnoses and I don't know what's right and wrong, but I'll just list them all: 5 years old: ADHD, ODD, conduct disorder 6 years old: Autism 8 years old: Depression, Anxiety, OCD 19 years old: Borderline personality disorder (this one is 100% BS), DPDR, pseudopsychosis (idk what this one is and it has never been addressed as far as I'm aware, but it's still on my records) 20 years old: PTSD I have not been successfully treated for any one of these. I was close to 100% compliant and optimistic with new treatments until about 2 years ago, but I have now completely and utterly lost all hope. As a child I had a paediatrician, psychiatrist, psychologist and occupational therapist, and since I turned 18 I have nearly consistently had a psychologist and psychiatrist. I have also consistently been given scripts for medication since childhood which keep me up for days and give me the worst brain fog. There were a few other meds as well, but due to severe side effects I was on them for less than a month. I am well aware that I was over-medicated in childhood. Some of the doses I was on exceeded the recommended max for children and teens. I have also done CBT countless times, DBT twice, ACT, interpersonal therapy, ketamine therapy, ECT, TMS, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, mindfulness therapy, and EMDR. The last couple of years I have been refusing things I have already tried - which is basically everything from what I'm being told. But I am being met with accusations of cynicism and not wanting to help myself. I don't think I have ever learned anything from therapy - nothing that particularly resonates or is useful anyway. Nobody listens to me, nobody believes me. From my experience, psychologists latch onto one thing you say that their textbooks teach them how to manage and zero in on that. It's nearly impossible to get them to see the big picture, and it's impossible for them to not jump to conclusions about how I think or feel. I have never felt heard by a psychologist/counsellor/social worker/psychiatrist/etc. in my entire life. I know I'm supposed to help myself and therapists provide tools, but I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I don't know what I'm feeling, but I am constantly in absolutely excruciating agony from whatever this is. I am inherently a bad person too. I am selfish, I hurt people and don't feel guilty about it, I have an extreme amount of rage and need for retribution when I feel there has been an injustice against me, I am a pathological liar just to make myself look better/superior, etc. I am just about ready to give up because I see no hope. I don't see any opportunity to be better. If this is how I'm going to continue feeling, I can't live. I simply can't.

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Bee1998 Partner crossed my boundary in regards to P*rn
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I’m not sure how to move forward / forgive my partner …  On Saturday morning, my partner asked me as soon as we got out of bed if he could watch p*rn. He knows p*rn is something I don’t want in the relationship / am triggered and hurt by. We have be... View more

I’m not sure how to move forward / forgive my partner … 😞 On Saturday morning, my partner asked me as soon as we got out of bed if he could watch p*rn. He knows p*rn is something I don’t want in the relationship / am triggered and hurt by. We have been to therapy together to discuss it too, and our therapist stated that it’s fine to watch it, as long as we have spoken about it and are both okay with it. I’m not okay with it anymore, due to past trauma and sexual abuse. At the start of our relationship, it didn’t bother me, but after being betrayed countless times by my partner, I’m now not okay with it. It hurts me too much. Despite knowing all of this, and me expressing how I felt about it on the weekend, my partner went ahead and pleased himself several times to p*rn. Mind you, he was telling me the night before that we were going to be intimate, but he never followed through. We haven’t had s*x for a few days either, so him choosing p*rn over real intimacy with me really opened the wound more. It even went as far as him sleeping in the spare room and spending the whole weekend behind closed doors. No communication, nothing. This left me in tears the whole weekend. Especially when I had to sleep alone at night, knowing he was deceiving me / going against what I said. Come Sunday night, he finally started to ‘try’ and hug me etc, but by that point I was so numb that I didn’t want to show any affection, or even talk to him or be near him. I feel so betrayed. I feel like my concerns and emotions were rejected and walked all over. 😔 Also, what kind of partner actively chooses to pleasure themselves to p*rn when they have a partner at home expressing they want to be intimate ?! I never once turned it down or said I didn’t want to. He has literally chosen other females over me, and it is killing me.

bonchm Fiancé chatting online and compulsively lies
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I’ve been with my partner for 4 years next month. 2 weeks ago I caught him on a dating site. He swore blue in the face it wasn’t him, he had been hacked. Made out he had made a police report. Made me feel crazy for not letting it go. 1 week later, I ... View more

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years next month. 2 weeks ago I caught him on a dating site. He swore blue in the face it wasn’t him, he had been hacked. Made out he had made a police report. Made me feel crazy for not letting it go. 1 week later, I sat in front of him and went though his emails. He thought he had covered his tracks but I found proof of his ads. He swears that he never met anyone but I can’t believe him. I told a mutual friend. Turns out this is how is marriage ended, literally 3 months before I met him!! I don’t know who he is! He has been on this site since we got together! He was chatting while I was in hospital with threatened pre term labour and still just after I had had his baby!! I keep digging and finding more. I can my stop, it’s driving me crazy. emails to other women talking about things that we were excited about. He’s emotionally sharing with other women, sending cheeky memes to both me and another at the same time. i reallllly don’t know what to do either 😔😔 I want this to work for the kids (big blended family) and I have never felt this way about someone before. But writing his actions down and re reading them, if it were a friend I’d tell them to run from him.

nixxyboo Family blaming me
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Someone in the house has $100 missing from their wallet Yet again (mind you I’ve also had money missing which is why I don’t carry cash now unless it’s given to me but didn’t say anything as didn’t want to blame anyone.) however I’m now getting the b... View more

Someone in the house has $100 missing from their wallet Yet again (mind you I’ve also had money missing which is why I don’t carry cash now unless it’s given to me but didn’t say anything as didn’t want to blame anyone.) however I’m now getting the blame and also found out they have blamed me for other things (my partner told me they have said things to them). I’m over it. I do t do shit but yet it’s always me. I want out of here but untill I can get back to work I can’t 😞

Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

Gato46 Wife Feft
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Wife LeftResided in China for 20 years, married a Chinese women some 10 years ago ,(wife is 35 and myself 77 now) returned to Australia 4 years ago and with child and wife, she is very unhappy, myself not perfect some lies were told in our marriage b... View more

Wife LeftResided in China for 20 years, married a Chinese women some 10 years ago ,(wife is 35 and myself 77 now) returned to Australia 4 years ago and with child and wife, she is very unhappy, myself not perfect some lies were told in our marriage but I am to blame on all most everything, she suffers depression blame me for it, suggesting I should see a therapist instead of her . Sone after our daughter was born the she become aggressive and insulting and swearing at me angry at not listening at her advice about company matters, on many occasions she wouldn’t t stop yelling and swearing had to send her home with my driver, trashed the apartment a few times and I let it go thinking it has something to do with post-natal depressions, suggest then she should see a doctor but in China this is a no-no. Then and now, attempting to have some kind of conversation is futile, she constantly interrupts and get very angry. Just before she left our home, told me she was dating on line to find out if she is still desirable and find love , that was very hurtful. My daughter tells me , “mama wants you to die to find another man younger to look after her”. Left home some 3 weeks ago and said she needs time to evaluate our relationship and she wants to come back in two months. For the las 4 year no sex and the level of personal insults toward child and me and swearing is staggering. She said sorry for being a monster but her excuse ‘I am angry’. Twice had to call the police got crazy and attempted to commit suicide and taken to hospital , she convinced the doctors nothing wrong with her, they let he go back home. Despite everything , still ,call me stupid, I have felling’s for the women just very worried to let her back home without her seeking mental help , I have a child and she doesn’t want mom to come back home. The child become withdrawn, lost appetite and stroppy now , she tells me mama hurts her and I am scared of her. As an aside, my wife is a very intelligent lady, I employed her in China as my translators, and she had a BS in Exterior Commence, she told her self very fluent in English and turns that she was very efficient in to running my aerospace business, year later she become partner in to the business. My wife had an affinity to the western world and at my retiring we moved to Australia. Once she become an Australian citizen she enrolls at the universities to study law , first year passing all examination with very high percentage and she got herself a part time job as a clerical in a local law firm. She has a golden heart and shares with the family. Don’t understand how is possible someone with depression act normal and for some reason becomes a monster. Some time in my mind I think, was I used to a ticked to the west..? Our age gap is huge, then again culturally Chinese women don’t mind age and looks as long the man looks after them. Can folks with depression mask the change of personality..? what can I do to help, let her go to find her own way or keep soldering on..? Respectfullygato

elf16 Sister has isolated herself
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My sister is in her mid 30s, lives alone and has completely isolated herself from all family and friends for 3 months. She has stopped going to work. This started just after our paternal Grandma died. She is normally a very active, outgoing and extro... View more

My sister is in her mid 30s, lives alone and has completely isolated herself from all family and friends for 3 months. She has stopped going to work. This started just after our paternal Grandma died. She is normally a very active, outgoing and extroverted person. About 5 weeks ago our mum and her bff went around to see her and she agreed to a group chat where we could all post positive things from our days in an attempt to minimise pressure on her to contact us all individually. She had also agreed to begin seeing a psychologist but failed to attend any of the three Telehealth appointments we had set up for her. She is beginning to disengage from the one place we have contact with her and she doesn’t seem to be making any progress or getting any help. We’re at a loss of how to help her.

Smonstee Son with MDD and finding it difficult to help him
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I am the mother of a 19yo son with major depressive illnessHe is under the care of a psychologist and psychiatrist (on medication) but nothing seems to be working. He is due to start TMS soon but has no hope that it will work. He has quit Uni and tod... View more

I am the mother of a 19yo son with major depressive illnessHe is under the care of a psychologist and psychiatrist (on medication) but nothing seems to be working. He is due to start TMS soon but has no hope that it will work. He has quit Uni and today he wants to quit his casual job, saying the pain of living is too hard.He says he has no plans to self-harm but talks about wishing he were dead. All the time. It's hard to hear it. There's nothing I can do to help. He is withdrawing further and further into himself. No matter how we tackle it, nothing works. I don't know what do next to help him, I dont want him to quit his job but can see that we have no choice.Does anyone have any advice?

Long-term support over the journey

A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.

GeminiLion Mental health service axed and now isolated
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Isolated all my life. Ask for help and doors slam shut in my face. Finally by off-chance an accidential pyschologist entered my life for another matter, and as they say, rest is history. After 3-4 years (initially weekly to monthly meetings) she left... View more

Isolated all my life. Ask for help and doors slam shut in my face. Finally by off-chance an accidential pyschologist entered my life for another matter, and as they say, rest is history. After 3-4 years (initially weekly to monthly meetings) she left the public system and I was suppose to continue with a new pyschologist. However, a decision was made to axe the service (which was reinstated later with replacement but only for new clients under strict new criteria). I have been alone since September. I have no one. No longer getting medical help. Call and online chats not working. Forced to pay for private telehealth and I cannot afford it and it is going over old ground work and going no where (considering ending private sessions and just stand on my own two feet). I live in regional qld. I have no one. I am carer but no help available either. Every time I have asked for help in recent months has blown up in my face which makes me worse unwell. Where can introverts like me, aged in 40s, have no family and no friends (completely isolated) get help. Is there any grants or funding opportunities I can access to continue accessing help. Thankyou.

Unigurl18 Starting university terror
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Hi, I’m new to this, and I’ve never done something like this before, but I need to talk about this. I am starting university in 6 days and the terror of it is just getting bigger. I talked to my mum about it and I felt a little better about how scare... View more

Hi, I’m new to this, and I’ve never done something like this before, but I need to talk about this. I am starting university in 6 days and the terror of it is just getting bigger. I talked to my mum about it and I felt a little better about how scared I am about starting uni but I woke up today and felt the same. I just have a continual sense of impending doom about starting uni and I might be being silly, but no matter what I do I’m still really frightened. I must admit that I’ve been struggling with feelings of emptiness for a while which has gotten a bit better a little while ago but it got worse again the closer I get to starting university. I don’t know if anyone feels the same or understands what I’m feeling, or maybe I’m just overreacting, but I just wanted to put it out there. thanks

xsmummy Burn out at work
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After a long few months of battling to get through each day that escalated to me breaking down when my boss asked me a simple question, I decided to ask for help. Within a few minutes I was told I was in burn out and given a few strategies to try to ... View more

After a long few months of battling to get through each day that escalated to me breaking down when my boss asked me a simple question, I decided to ask for help. Within a few minutes I was told I was in burn out and given a few strategies to try to help. I'm beyond exhausted and just don't have the energy to even think about these strategies let alone put them in place. I would love any advice, help anything right now that might help. Was anyone put on any medication to help them through burn out? Any help would be amazing!!!