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Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

ABC01 Self talk question?
  • replies: 4

Hello All, In my self talk I use the words Yourself and You. Should I actually be using the words Myself and Me?Is it because I had to raise myself and self soothe myself.Do you think it is healthy to use those words or is there a dissociation if I u... View more

Hello All, In my self talk I use the words Yourself and You. Should I actually be using the words Myself and Me?Is it because I had to raise myself and self soothe myself.Do you think it is healthy to use those words or is there a dissociation if I use them? Like it is more a parent to a child, rather then my actual mind to myself? example: Show yourself how wonderful you are vs Show myself how wonderful I am.You are alright (When I am having an anxious moment) vs I am alright. I also use my name. Like, “You are alright,——-.” (——— is my name). Should I be addressing myself by my name? What are your thoughts,Thankful for any answers.ABC01

Guest_96793600 Burnt out Health Care Giver
  • replies: 1

I'm a healthcare giver, have been looking after people for over 43 years and always put other people first, so much so when it comes to myself, there's nothing left in the tank. I'm burnt out. Done.It's very difficult to have a regular exercise routi... View more

I'm a healthcare giver, have been looking after people for over 43 years and always put other people first, so much so when it comes to myself, there's nothing left in the tank. I'm burnt out. Done.It's very difficult to have a regular exercise routine when I work shift work and am exhausted by the time get home. Eating sensibly and regular exercise requires discipline, determination and organisation - yet I know it makes me feel good when I apply myself. I am 15-20 kgs over my healthy weight range, feel like a beached whale and totally unattractive. I am good at my job and am mostly appreciated at work but feel there has got to be more to life. I have friends and family but cannot really express how badly I feel about myself. I see a Psychologist usually once per month but this does not help much. I'm on anti anxiety medications but tend to resort to alcohol more than I should which does not help the situation. I just don't know how to get my Mojo back and strengthen my will power muscle. I'd appreciate any pearls of wisdom in the vain hope that I can put into action some strategies and feel better about myself before it's too late.

Guest_40175004 Recovery addict
  • replies: 1

My partner is a recovering addict, we got together when he was still using, have known each other for about 14 years. Anyway I said things wouldn't work with him.using so he has stopped 4 months clean and before that he was using less and less.I'm su... View more

My partner is a recovering addict, we got together when he was still using, have known each other for about 14 years. Anyway I said things wouldn't work with him.using so he has stopped 4 months clean and before that he was using less and less.I'm super proud of how far he has come, growing so much as an individual and re building relationships with family members. But I feel like our relationship is falling apart, it's like he has no interest in me, this starting happening the less he was using and is completely gone, not affectionate at all.. is this a part of the recovery process ? I ask him all the time and he says we're fine he just doesn't know what's wrong with sexually!! I just don't know how to feel anymore, I feel like he has lost all love for me I'm not even sure what im looking for here

Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.

Suncy Referral & Medicare & Private insurance
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I'm just new here due to eating disorder issues. My GP referred me to a psychologist under MHCP. However the issue is, I need to wait too long for that psychologist, and then I need to change another. I was told if want to be eligible fo... View more

Hi everyone, I'm just new here due to eating disorder issues. My GP referred me to a psychologist under MHCP. However the issue is, I need to wait too long for that psychologist, and then I need to change another. I was told if want to be eligible for MHCP, and covered by Medicare, on my referral letter, have to be with the correct psychologist name? Also, my current fees plan is, running out my private insurance first (500 max), and then start to use Medicare. Is that okay? Thank you everyone. Really appreciate.

Guest_46587040 Psychiatrist Advice
  • replies: 4

Hi all, I really don't feel comfortable with my psychiatrist. I have been seeing her since earlier this year for acute depression with suicidal ideation/attempt. I have been on multiple medications but none have helped. I feel that my psychiatrist ha... View more

Hi all, I really don't feel comfortable with my psychiatrist. I have been seeing her since earlier this year for acute depression with suicidal ideation/attempt. I have been on multiple medications but none have helped. I feel that my psychiatrist has made very poor assumptions about me - based on the roughly 5 hours total I have seen her for. When I talk to her, I feel she does not listen to what I have to say, only what she wants to hear, e.g. saying things like "but you're leaving the house, so you can't be feeling that bad", despite me telling her that I am still really struggling with simple effort tasks like showering, eating properly etc. My psychiatrist wants me to move out of home, even though I can't trust myself to be alone right now and home is where my support is. When I told her this, she inferred I was incompetent and needed to "do things on my own". I have tried to defend myself so many times but it's like talking to a brick wall, or a bully. I am scared to see her again. I leave her office feeling so small. As I'm not on the right medication it feels like I'm stuck with her. I worry that if I try and find another psychiatrist I'll be waiting for so long that I'll get worse. But I also worry that she is right, and I'm too depressed to hear it. I guess my question is, what if she is telling me what I need to hear but I can't hear it because I am depressed? Do I trust myself and stop seeing her, or should I trust her more as the professional?Thanks.

ABC01 Confused about different types of groups
  • replies: 4

Dear All, I am slightly confused about the different types of groups available to participate in. I have found a support group and a social group. Are there any other types of groups? My understanding is that a support group is to introduce yourself,... View more

Dear All, I am slightly confused about the different types of groups available to participate in. I have found a support group and a social group. Are there any other types of groups? My understanding is that a support group is to introduce yourself, tell how your time has been going and discuss how you may cope(as in strategies or techniques that work for you,so other can hear them). For the particular topic of the support group. And then others in the group do the same. It is a supportive environment. But there is no education component. As in a lesson on the topic. A social group is to meet like minded people or people in a similar situation, but instead of discussing these feelings, is an outlet to meet people and have a coffee and chat. Not too heavy or deep. Also may allow people to get out of the house and the group members understand how hard it is for people to have done that. Also no educational component. Is this correct?Are there any other group types in relation to mental health that I am not aware off? Thank you for reading,ABC01

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

ashi Wow, attachment issues
  • replies: 0

I always got attached to people before I even knew them properly, give me the slightest attention and I immediately grasp onto that like it's my lifeline. I've avoided most of my friends nowadays in fear that I'll probably get too close and just lose... View more

I always got attached to people before I even knew them properly, give me the slightest attention and I immediately grasp onto that like it's my lifeline. I've avoided most of my friends nowadays in fear that I'll probably get too close and just lose them, which actually -in my opinion- worked a bit, after I moved countries, all of my friends had started ignoring my messages, but didn't affect me much.Though, it's really hard not to meet someone new and hope they'll stay with me. My new school is full of friendly people, pretty good, but that meant they were just as friendly to everyone else, and it's hard to find someone I could really trust, or talk to. I've been telling myself to venture outside my comfort zone for years now, find new friends, don't just constantly stick to one person like a leech. But it's difficult to do that without making the new friend the victim of my persistent attachment. I've been so lonely at home (it's not even a home considering how empty it is), the only reason why I would actually go to school is just to be near people, and have at least somewhat a place I call welcoming. Still, I'm attached to my best friend (who is a 9 hour flight away and it's not as easy to talk with the time zone differences) and a new friend I met at school who is sooner or later going to another school, and I'm sure that's when that friendship will end. When I meet someone, I give them a small glance, and decide whether I like them or not, I change opinions really quickly, but eventually it's either I become friends with them or not. If they do become my friend, I'd probably try my best to keep them as my friend, or even make them into my best friend, where then chaos ensues, because I automatically pour my heart out to them. People have always kindly listened, I'm grateful for that, but then they just go and I feel like I've made a big mistake, even though nothing bad would happen, I still think I've made bad choices when talking about my problems to someone. Not saying the internet is better for talking, but it gives you the anonymous kinda thing, so you feel a little safer talking (or technically, typing and posting). Thank you if you've read this whole thing, and have a nice day!

Bryant My wife seems to resent me and I’m worried
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, sorry this is long and disorganised… I’m just not sure what to do My wife and I are young (~24yrs) and have been married for 4 months. We have two young kids (1 & 2yrs).The past 6 months have been incredibly difficult for me as my wife ... View more

Hey everyone, sorry this is long and disorganised… I’m just not sure what to do My wife and I are young (~24yrs) and have been married for 4 months. We have two young kids (1 & 2yrs).The past 6 months have been incredibly difficult for me as my wife snaps at me for absolutely everything I do and say… I only have good intentions and am trying my hardest to do everything right. I just want to be a good husband and father and I love them all more than anything. it’s even been so bad that in an argument she has told me she doesn’t want this anymore (told me the next day over the phone that it was just out of anger) and also said that she won’t apologise for it as I said hurtful things as well. (I told her she needed to try and think about things with more optimism and be more reasonable) everything has been fine up until the birth of our second child.. since then I have slept in the spare room as she insists both of the kids sleep with her. (I go into them anytime she calls for me through the night or early mornings and help in any way she needs). We have very little intimacy and it’s only when she feels guilty and tells me she is only doing it because of guilt so even then it doesn’t happen because it’s not right. I am high up in my position at work and heavily relied upon. She works where the kids go daycare. I just don’t know how to tell if things will ever get better, I am constantly trying to better myself every day for them but she only thinks it’s me that needs to keep doing better and change. I feel defeated and lost and worry I will lose everything. Sometimes she is in a great mood and everything is fine but I might make our son a bottle of formula the wrong way or use the wrong toilet at the house or pick up something I shouldn’t have touched when tidying up and then she will just snap and stay in a horrible mood that can last from 12hrs to 3 days. I just can’t win with anything and I don’t know what to do. Just for context, it is loud screaming and some of the insults are “just use your brain, it’s not that hard to do things the right way” and “you’re so f&@king dumb” - it’s all dependant on her ways of doing things. Just to add: if the roles are reversed and I am struggling with the 2 kids, if I call out to her for help with something, she will shout at me and tell me she’s busy or to just figure it out. Whereas anytime she asks for anything I will run to her aid. thanks for reading, it’s all over the place but hopefully understandable.

Annie75 Seeking new friends
  • replies: 4

Hi,my my name is annie, I am 49 female, i am very shy and have issues meeting new people, i don't really have any friends, so I am seeing if I can make new ones, online to start with, as I am to scared to meet face to face, I am happy with anyone

Hi,my my name is annie, I am 49 female, i am very shy and have issues meeting new people, i don't really have any friends, so I am seeing if I can make new ones, online to start with, as I am to scared to meet face to face, I am happy with anyone

Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

Emsmum Supporting my 18yr old daughter who is suffering from severe anxiety and has been self harming.
  • replies: 3

My daughter has been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for the last year. She has a lot of support from counsellors and a psychologist and doctor but I just feel so helpless. She has self harmed in the past and is on medication from her gp... View more

My daughter has been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for the last year. She has a lot of support from counsellors and a psychologist and doctor but I just feel so helpless. She has self harmed in the past and is on medication from her gp. I just wish I could help. She just needs hugs from me which of course I’m happy to give. How can I show her or tell her I’m there for her.

soo ideas to support wife with depression
  • replies: 1

hey, Don't know where to start so I'll give a brief overview of past 5years. Been trying for years to have a child (natural and ivf) many miscarriages etc, finally we where blessed just over 4 yrs ago. Our baby passed during childbirth. Was a massive... View more

hey, Don't know where to start so I'll give a brief overview of past 5years. Been trying for years to have a child (natural and ivf) many miscarriages etc, finally we where blessed just over 4 yrs ago. Our baby passed during childbirth. Was a massive hit for myself and we have never been the same mentally. I can compartmentalise better than my wife I think. I still feel the sadness everyday and grt anxiety pretty bad at times (which never had before) but I keep on chugging. My wife has struggled alot since then, mentally. She has tried counsellors, medication everything I can think of and nothing has worked. We've had multiple other things happen that have been extremely stress inducing during this time but we got through it At the same time this happened I had changed careers due to wanting something to better our family long term which meant starting from the bottom and my wife having to take on more of a breadwinner role. Which she was fine with. I am 5months off sitting my final exam and finally being able to contribute more than minimum wage (am a 4th yr apprentice with another trade I've completed previously) I've injured myself at work lately and require surgery which means I won't be able to sit my exams for another maybe 12months. This has made my wife spiral like crazy. Lots of extreme mood swings, blaming me for everything under the sun - everything is too hard, I'm sick of working (i work 60hr weeks, but she makes significantly more than me right now), the goal posts keep moving, I'm at my wits end etc I've tried supporting her by listening and offering suggestions- go back to talk to counsellor etc (as I have no idea what to say) which gets met with anger and "I'm not crazy, they don't help, nothing helps" etc. I've asked what she wants me to do and she gets upset that i dont have to answers to everything. life's hard, you just have to keep pushing through it. It will grt better. But she has been an absolute wreck the last week since finding out I need surgery and won't be back at work for 8months or so. Next year was spose to be her year of being able to relax a bit, spend more time with our 2nd daughter. Me not being at work doesn't change any of this, I'm still getting paid, I'm doing all the house work I can with my injury. I just don't understand whats going on. I'm disappointed aswell but letting it destroy your life isn't going to make it any better. I just don't know what to do or what to say anymore.

Long-term support over the journey

A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.

Pyrolee 7th Place of employment and feeling really angry and defeated and life with family is hard
  • replies: 2

I've recently been let go at my 7th workplace, this time I was let go because they said there isn't enough work despite the company being the 2nd largest and busiest plumbing company in the state. I feel like i was unfairly dismissed with no warnings... View more

I've recently been let go at my 7th workplace, this time I was let go because they said there isn't enough work despite the company being the 2nd largest and busiest plumbing company in the state. I feel like i was unfairly dismissed with no warnings or verbal information of anything I've done wrong. This is my 7th place and I'm feeling why is this constantly happening. I'm actually a genuine nice person and hard working and not there to cause any issues but I feel like I've made enemies and all, legit haven't done anything wrong. I'm currently serving out my notice period of 1 week and feels so awkward and trapped. With Christmas being around the corner I'm worried about not being able to get another job. I feel like I need answers and closure to why this keeps happening but every time I reach out its always a it'll be fine but this keeps happening where I go from a company ask millions of questions to make sure it's suited for me long term and get screwed around and it's really playing an affect my mood and purpose of living. Also both my kids have been diagnosed with health issues, one has moderate hearing loss and specialist and doctors can't figure out where and how and the other child has severe allergies to wheat, eggs and peanuts. I'm feeling like why is life constantly throwing me curve balls like this and everytime I'm needing this to stop it keeps coming back worse. What should I do? I'm feeling like I'm letting down my family cause of this work issue constantly happening

Janey123 How do I build my self worth outside of work?
  • replies: 2

Hello, Since my late 20s, I have been very career focussed and have based a lot of my self-worth on what I achieve in my professional life. I am now in my 40s, and have a great job managing a fast-paced project. I have been in the role for 2 years an... View more

Hello, Since my late 20s, I have been very career focussed and have based a lot of my self-worth on what I achieve in my professional life. I am now in my 40s, and have a great job managing a fast-paced project. I have been in the role for 2 years and while I have done a really good job on a tough project and receive regular praise from management, I am finding that I go through pretty regular cycles of burnout, usually accompanied by imposter syndrome and anxiety. My work regularly pushes me outside of my comfort zone and this takes a huge toll on my mental health outside of work. I am very introverted and prefer to read and watch tv to playing sport or going out to socialise. I have small children, and live rurally so my time and options for outside of work things is quite limited. Through most of my life, it is my work that has given me the mental stimulation I need and most of my socialisation. I feel like as I get older, and my kids start school, I am less driven to continue pushing myself so hard at work. I want to take the pressure off and have the 'space' to focus on other aspects of my life.. Maybe my values are changing? I am tired of always being so stressed at home because of work. I recently dropped my hours back to be at home more, but I have found it has made me feel more stressed as I am trying to fit more in to less time. I still find that I am always pushing hard to achieve more at work because I don't know how not to.. and my mental health is deteriorating. How do I continue doing well enough at work, but not drive myself to the point of poor mental health? How do I place more importance on my life outside of work? Thanks, Janey

Sparkling2003 Long -term difference?
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone, Not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on. Just wanting to hear from people who have struggled with mental health or know people that have struggled with mental health long-term. I would like to know if once they seek ... View more

Hello everyone, Not sure if this is the right forum to be posting this on. Just wanting to hear from people who have struggled with mental health or know people that have struggled with mental health long-term. I would like to know if once they seek help was there a positive change in them and their relationships with people. Just looking for a little bit of hope that when my loved one does finally decide to seek help that eventually they will be happy and the environment will be calmer. I understand that there will always be moments that aren't positive but I'm currently feeling very hopeless and the idea that our relationship will mend is seeming very impossible. Just looking for guidance and peoples experience that will give me hope that there is chance our relationships will better or if I just need to accept that this may be the new norm.