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Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

javalava13 Recurring, confusing thoughts following psych appts
  • replies: 1

Hi, I have had a pretty low year - I moved cities (in an attempt to experience change after a stagnant few years), had a period of suicidal ideation at the start of the year after a breakup (which I’m still working through over a year on - being my f... View more

Hi, I have had a pretty low year - I moved cities (in an attempt to experience change after a stagnant few years), had a period of suicidal ideation at the start of the year after a breakup (which I’m still working through over a year on - being my first relationship and quite complex), and ultimately have been struggling with pretty debilitating depression and social anxiety. I’m quite stubborn and have some really big trust issues, so I haven’t been very honest with many people about the ‘difficulties’ I’ve had. But I have been consistently seeing my psych of a few years regularly through the year. I have a frustrating relationship with/mindset around psych appointments. I've always struggled with trusting that my psych’s response to what I tell them is genuine and they're not secretly judging me. I also am incredibly hard on myself (I’ve been told, although I feel like everyone is) and just cannot silence or turn down the voice, no matter what I try, so I judge myself SO heavily about what I’ve said following appointments. I also have some abandonment issues so I think my psych (and everyone else) doesn’t want anything to do with me and wants to stop seeing me, but is too kind to confront me about that. This year, I can (now, finally) see that I’ve slipped into this norm of being very low, not making much of an effort to improve, using my mental health as an excuse, and am just a pretty lifeless person to be around. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts since my last psych appointment, where I raised that I had realised I have very poor emotional resilience. She didn’t disagree (I wouldn’t want her to lie to try to protect me, but I guess I was almost hoping she’d say something in my defence), so that has cemented it in my head and made me go back through so many conversations and feel so guilty and ashamed of how weak I’ve been, and am. I am having all these urges to run away from everyone, to email my psych and apologise for everything, and cancel my next appt and never see her again because that is what I think she wants. This is recurring, unable to shake the belief of everyone wanting me to leave them and disappear. I don’t really know what I’m posting for, but I guess I'd just love some advice re how to deal with these feelings from this appointment. I've raised these thoughts with my psych when they’ve come up in the past, but again, I can’t trust that whatever she says in response is genuine and truthful, not something she is saying just to protect me.

Thorney Post-HSC
  • replies: 3

Hi! I recently finished my HSC. In all honesty, I think I did pretty well! I'm not stressed or anxious about my results. What I wanted to focus on was post-hsc emotions. I'm finding it hard to adjust to life now - not having to do much, and relaxing.... View more

Hi! I recently finished my HSC. In all honesty, I think I did pretty well! I'm not stressed or anxious about my results. What I wanted to focus on was post-hsc emotions. I'm finding it hard to adjust to life now - not having to do much, and relaxing. I cannot remember the last time I fully relaxed. I can't actually find many stories about people post hsc, only stress and anxiety during the hsc; hence I am wanting to know about other experiences! I'm not exactly depressed or anything, I just don't really feel excited about anything. I'm going to Uni next year and doing something I really, really like - and I'm just not excited about it. I think it's part of myself relaxing and being content with where I am and not being ready to move forward. I think about living alone and I just can't fathom it. (I won't be living alone for a number of years, but it just seems like another massive change and I don't know how people do it). Pre-HSC I was (and still am) an introvert and I prefer being alone. But now, I seem to want to be around people (a lot!), likely for familiarity. I'm also really missing my friends - I try and catch up but there is just so much happening between all of us. I try and talk to family about some of my general anxiousness but they are busy (and/or dealing with their own stressors). I'm considering talking to a professional about my mental health. During the end of my HSC I became so anxious I was throwing up just due to pure stress. I have never been an anxious person, let alone so anxious I had a physical reaction. I sought out some stress tablets and they helped. I had to take some post-hsc as well, because I just feel/felt so anxious due to this massive change in my life. It's all just so new. My question(s) are/is, how do you cope with these big kind of changes? How do you cope with feeling a bit lonely? How can I get myself to actually relax and not hold on to this kind of stress? I (like many others) are/am just so used to school, after so many years - it is such a massive change that happened so fast, I feel like I have whiplash. I'm not exactly struggling mentally, but I'm not the same compared to pre-hsc, and I want to make myself excited and a bit more happy again and honestly, just try and get myself mentally back to 'normal'. Thank you for reading. Have an amazing day! Please share some similar experiences if possible 😊.

Peter56 Spending Christmas alone
  • replies: 7

I am 66, and my entire life has been a story of loneliness. I have never marries, have no children, partner of family. Since I recently was able to retire from work, to keep occupied, I decided to put something back into the community and have been d... View more

I am 66, and my entire life has been a story of loneliness. I have never marries, have no children, partner of family. Since I recently was able to retire from work, to keep occupied, I decided to put something back into the community and have been doing some volunteering 2 days a week that has given me a sense of belonging and feel it's given me a sense of belonging and a meaningful connection with other volunteers, staff and their members. Since my mother passed away in 2021, I have been spending Christmas day on my own at home, which I am OK with. However, since I’ve been volunteering, some of my colleagues will no doubt ask me how I will be spending Christmas? e (despite being popular) is alone this holiday.Sometimes I feel like fabricating some sort of story because I feel a bit embarrassed telling them I will be spending Christmas alone thinking that I’m a bit of a loner.My position reminds me of an episode in the TV series “Happy Days” where Richie found out Fonzie (despite being popular and saying he had plans) intends to spend Christmas day all alone. I was wondering if anyone has been in this situation how did they manage it when other people asked? e (despite being popular)

Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.

Aljay62 ED and alternative treatments
  • replies: 0

Hi all, first post as the noob, reaching out to others who may also be experiencing the same problem as myself. I was diagnosed with a 5mm Prolactinoma in 2012, I was given 2 medications as my T levels were pretty low. Fast forward to now ED is becom... View more

Hi all, first post as the noob, reaching out to others who may also be experiencing the same problem as myself. I was diagnosed with a 5mm Prolactinoma in 2012, I was given 2 medications as my T levels were pretty low. Fast forward to now ED is become an issue, still on 1 medication increased in dosage. Was suggested to try Testosterone boosters, has anyone had any improvement or experiences good or bad with this? I also suffer dep and anxiety, huge home issues with step daughters meth addiction. So feeling pretty low and defeated dll round. Cheers

spicy_pickle I can't get the help I need because everything I say is too triggering...
  • replies: 1

I can't get the help I need from mental health services because apparently everything I say is too triggering for other people. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that my safety is compromised simply because I need to explain my situation. I make sur... View more

I can't get the help I need from mental health services because apparently everything I say is too triggering for other people. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that my safety is compromised simply because I need to explain my situation. I make sure not to even say anything triggering in the first place!

Suncy Referral & Medicare & Private insurance
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I'm just new here due to eating disorder issues. My GP referred me to a psychologist under MHCP. However the issue is, I need to wait too long for that psychologist, and then I need to change another. I was told if want to be eligible fo... View more

Hi everyone, I'm just new here due to eating disorder issues. My GP referred me to a psychologist under MHCP. However the issue is, I need to wait too long for that psychologist, and then I need to change another. I was told if want to be eligible for MHCP, and covered by Medicare, on my referral letter, have to be with the correct psychologist name? Also, my current fees plan is, running out my private insurance first (500 max), and then start to use Medicare. Is that okay? Thank you everyone. Really appreciate.

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Lee93 Family breakdown
  • replies: 3

I Need help saving my marriage an getting him healthy,Y husband has been struggling since when have had children (6 an 3),But the past few years he really targets the oldest, his expectations for children are to high An he expects them to be seen an ... View more

I Need help saving my marriage an getting him healthy,Y husband has been struggling since when have had children (6 an 3),But the past few years he really targets the oldest, his expectations for children are to high An he expects them to be seen an not herd , he's not wrong in his parenting but he gets very over the top aggressive over the smallest things they do, eg 3 year old wee'd on toilet seat an he didn't want to clean it ,instead of husband showing him a way he can do that with out getting his hands dirty he stood there screaming at him , this has happend time an time again ,were the kids an I are say sorry for him been upset because he gets angry or upset , It took a drastic turn last month we're I askd him to leave, he was been very stand over an we all needed a brake, Iv askd him to go get mental help as he has trouble with controlling his emotions an expects everyone to change with his emotions, How do I support him in getting help an get him to understand 3 an 6 are still so young an his expectations are every high , I love my husband but I can't have him home if we constantly get mental abuse cause he can't controll his emotions ,How do I show him I did the best thing for our bbys, I didn't do it to hurt him but to protect them , my eldest already suffers from anxiety an shuts down when dads yelling he's allready showing signs of not wanting to be around him not wanting to be loved by him , He's blaming me for kicking him out , I understand y he's hurt I completely get that , an I hate that he's hurt but he's lashing out at me now everything I do or say , seems to create a bigger problem, I'm almost thinkn shutting up an letting it blow over is my best option atm , How do I save my marriage but protect my bbys at the same time , I'm not going to let him bully the kids cause he's mentally not ok

_justine_a Controlling mum
  • replies: 4

My mum threatens to kick me out every time i go out she calls me to tell me she is gonna kick me out im a 22 year old female i also pay rent 250-280 a Fortnight im so lost of what to do

My mum threatens to kick me out every time i go out she calls me to tell me she is gonna kick me out im a 22 year old female i also pay rent 250-280 a Fortnight im so lost of what to do

Guest_71087933 Accepting the pattern of my life.
  • replies: 1

Two weeks today I’ll turn 50, the optimism of my youth depleted, the sincere belief that things, life events, will get better, i no longer trust in.I have tried very hard this last year to change but really the pattern of my life is set, I lack frien... View more

Two weeks today I’ll turn 50, the optimism of my youth depleted, the sincere belief that things, life events, will get better, i no longer trust in.I have tried very hard this last year to change but really the pattern of my life is set, I lack friends, the ability to connect to people in anything beyond a superficial way eludes me. I think I’ve made a connection, then I find out I haven’t been invited to events, a quick drink after work, a birthday or a wedding reception that everyone else in the office has attended. I’m not nasty, but I think I’m forgettable. It just keeps happening, every decade of my life has been the same. I’m exhausted, I’m sad, I don’t want to care anymore. I’m kind and friendly, but I also don’t matter much to anyone. Is there any point to a life lived in isolation?

Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

CosmosMary Me
  • replies: 1

HiI have a 43yr son unmarried, no children, no home and feeling like he has no future. He desperately wants children and to feel loved by a partner. He works FIFO and that has contributed to the lack of meeting people in general so social circles are... View more

HiI have a 43yr son unmarried, no children, no home and feeling like he has no future. He desperately wants children and to feel loved by a partner. He works FIFO and that has contributed to the lack of meeting people in general so social circles are almost NIL. He recent was between jobs, finished one and waiting to start another, had a motorbike accident and now requires operation for bad leg injury. Stuck at home at mothers house (me) awaiting surgery, then long recovery. Job prospects fading with every tick of the clock...Gambles seeking dopamine hit, ADHDCurrently depressed on so many levels as per beginning of this post... cant see his life's purpose want to curl up and die....How do I help ??

Emsmum Supporting my 18yr old daughter who is suffering from severe anxiety and has been self harming.
  • replies: 3

My daughter has been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for the last year. She has a lot of support from counsellors and a psychologist and doctor but I just feel so helpless. She has self harmed in the past and is on medication from her gp... View more

My daughter has been suffering from severe anxiety and depression for the last year. She has a lot of support from counsellors and a psychologist and doctor but I just feel so helpless. She has self harmed in the past and is on medication from her gp. I just wish I could help. She just needs hugs from me which of course I’m happy to give. How can I show her or tell her I’m there for her.

Long-term support over the journey

A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.

Deb1963 I don't know where to turn for help
  • replies: 1

Hi I new to all this but my son has been incarcerated yet to be sentenced and is been threatened in jail. He is being stood over and made to call me to get money pit in someone's else's account for protection. I dont have money to pay and am so worri... View more

Hi I new to all this but my son has been incarcerated yet to be sentenced and is been threatened in jail. He is being stood over and made to call me to get money pit in someone's else's account for protection. I dont have money to pay and am so worried he is going to end up hurt. Where do I take this to get help....

Pyrolee 7th Place of employment and feeling really angry and defeated and life with family is hard
  • replies: 2

I've recently been let go at my 7th workplace, this time I was let go because they said there isn't enough work despite the company being the 2nd largest and busiest plumbing company in the state. I feel like i was unfairly dismissed with no warnings... View more

I've recently been let go at my 7th workplace, this time I was let go because they said there isn't enough work despite the company being the 2nd largest and busiest plumbing company in the state. I feel like i was unfairly dismissed with no warnings or verbal information of anything I've done wrong. This is my 7th place and I'm feeling why is this constantly happening. I'm actually a genuine nice person and hard working and not there to cause any issues but I feel like I've made enemies and all, legit haven't done anything wrong. I'm currently serving out my notice period of 1 week and feels so awkward and trapped. With Christmas being around the corner I'm worried about not being able to get another job. I feel like I need answers and closure to why this keeps happening but every time I reach out its always a it'll be fine but this keeps happening where I go from a company ask millions of questions to make sure it's suited for me long term and get screwed around and it's really playing an affect my mood and purpose of living. Also both my kids have been diagnosed with health issues, one has moderate hearing loss and specialist and doctors can't figure out where and how and the other child has severe allergies to wheat, eggs and peanuts. I'm feeling like why is life constantly throwing me curve balls like this and everytime I'm needing this to stop it keeps coming back worse. What should I do? I'm feeling like I'm letting down my family cause of this work issue constantly happening

Janey123 How do I build my self worth outside of work?
  • replies: 2

Hello, Since my late 20s, I have been very career focussed and have based a lot of my self-worth on what I achieve in my professional life. I am now in my 40s, and have a great job managing a fast-paced project. I have been in the role for 2 years an... View more

Hello, Since my late 20s, I have been very career focussed and have based a lot of my self-worth on what I achieve in my professional life. I am now in my 40s, and have a great job managing a fast-paced project. I have been in the role for 2 years and while I have done a really good job on a tough project and receive regular praise from management, I am finding that I go through pretty regular cycles of burnout, usually accompanied by imposter syndrome and anxiety. My work regularly pushes me outside of my comfort zone and this takes a huge toll on my mental health outside of work. I am very introverted and prefer to read and watch tv to playing sport or going out to socialise. I have small children, and live rurally so my time and options for outside of work things is quite limited. Through most of my life, it is my work that has given me the mental stimulation I need and most of my socialisation. I feel like as I get older, and my kids start school, I am less driven to continue pushing myself so hard at work. I want to take the pressure off and have the 'space' to focus on other aspects of my life.. Maybe my values are changing? I am tired of always being so stressed at home because of work. I recently dropped my hours back to be at home more, but I have found it has made me feel more stressed as I am trying to fit more in to less time. I still find that I am always pushing hard to achieve more at work because I don't know how not to.. and my mental health is deteriorating. How do I continue doing well enough at work, but not drive myself to the point of poor mental health? How do I place more importance on my life outside of work? Thanks, Janey