Caring for myself and others

Supporting people’s mental health is important, but so is your wellbeing. Learn strategies for caring about yourself and those around you.

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Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

BullGem29 Time to move on?
  • replies: 2

I've been experiencing extreme levels of frustration for some time. I'm stuck in a predicament and I'd love some impartial opinions. One of my colleagues doesn't pull their weight. Comes into work bang on 8 30, goes to lunch bang on 12, comes back ba... View more

I've been experiencing extreme levels of frustration for some time. I'm stuck in a predicament and I'd love some impartial opinions. One of my colleagues doesn't pull their weight. Comes into work bang on 8 30, goes to lunch bang on 12, comes back bang on 1, leaves bang on 5. Comes into work in a law firm in ripped jeans. Only answers the phones when they know someone else won't or needs to be prompted. Disappears to the toilet 4 to 5 times a day for 5 to 10 minutes at a time. Wears air pods in both ears all day so doesn't hear the phones or us when we talk to them. Management are aware but don't do anything about it. My frustration levels have hit an ultimate high. I think management believe it's just me being a whinger. Yesterday I was running late to work, which doesn't happen very often, she was aware early, still didn't come in early. I managed to get there at 820 so had to open up and we had a client come in at 8 30 which was theirs to deal with. As they weren't there I had to deal with the client while they wandered around the office talking or making their coffee while im running round like a headless idiot doing work or answering the phones. My predicament lies in that I could move jobs but I'm currently studying to be a lawyer and there is a 90% chance then when I graduate in 2 years time I will have a job there. What would you do in this scenario? Move on? Suck it up? Concentrate on myself and what I can do that's good for the office and the team and not worry about what they are or are not doing?

Tonic Music Hath Charm...
  • replies: 3

".. to Sooth the Savage Beast" - William Congreve, 1697. Blows off SORROW, as I just covered, but can Calm, Relax and INSPIRE also. I Like UPLIFTING songs too. Like Eurythmics "Right By Your Side" and many others. I have Therapy Songs for New Survivo... View more

".. to Sooth the Savage Beast" - William Congreve, 1697. Blows off SORROW, as I just covered, but can Calm, Relax and INSPIRE also. I Like UPLIFTING songs too. Like Eurythmics "Right By Your Side" and many others. I have Therapy Songs for New Survivors too (and OLD ones! 🙂 ) Great Music, and sometimes the WORDS work out Awesome from a Survivor's POV. Just FIT!! Two good Starters, for a bit of HOPE and HEALING here.. "I'll Find My Way Home", by Jon Anderson of YES, and Mr Vangelis Papathanous, of Chariots of Fire Fame. "You ask Me Where to begin - Am I so Lost in MY Sin You ask me Where did I Fall - I'll say I Can't tell you When But if my Spirit is Lost.... How will I Find what is near? No Question, I'm Not ALONE - Somehow I'll Find My Way Home And Our Own Lady Olivia Newtron Bomb, (((RIP))). MAGIC from Xanadu Loved the Eerie TUNE - what IS that Guitar chord? 🙂 - and when I SAW into the Words, well Olivia was the Kind voice of Every Guardian Angel I ever dreamed of, ready to Drop Everything And Fly to my Rescue.. AND Offer Healing. Awesome! 🙂 "Come take my hand, you should KNOW ME I've ALWAYS been In Your Mind - You KNOW I will be KIND, I'll Be GUIDING YOU, Building your DREAm Has to Start NOW, there's No Other Road to Take You Won't make a Mistake, I'll be Guiding you" "I'll be Near You, Come ANY Time you call, Catch You when you Fall.." 🙂

Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.

Oshinxx1 ADHD medication experience
  • replies: 0

Hello there, I have been newly diagnosed in my late 40's with Inattentive ADHD, likely had it all my life. I also have anxiety and depression and for the last four years complex grief after the death of two close family members. I started taking medi... View more

Hello there, I have been newly diagnosed in my late 40's with Inattentive ADHD, likely had it all my life. I also have anxiety and depression and for the last four years complex grief after the death of two close family members. I started taking medication for ADHD 3 times a day, the first time i took it, I felt so clear for the first time, it was like I could choose what I wanted to think about and focus only on what I wanted. Overthinking about negative things disappeared. I was generally calmer and could think positively about the future. The issue has been that one, it only really lasted for an hour and a half and after a week or so it has stopped working that well which is making me reconsider taking it anymore. It has left me feeling very disappointed and hopeful of a better life. Would you mind sharing your experience with medication ongoing? Thank you.

Morning A big complaint about ordinary people pretending to be more and charging us for ideas they didn’t c
  • replies: 1

I want to have a whinge. I’m a long term sufferer of depression. Bipolar 2. Have lost years of my life to memory zapping darkness. About 8 years ago I came to the edge but was saved by love and a brilliant psychiatrist. Since then I have been on a pa... View more

I want to have a whinge. I’m a long term sufferer of depression. Bipolar 2. Have lost years of my life to memory zapping darkness. About 8 years ago I came to the edge but was saved by love and a brilliant psychiatrist. Since then I have been on a path of good health that includes lots of research of what’s available in the way of services and the latest knowledge on what ails me. I refuse to go back where I’ve been and will do all I can to stay well. So here is my whinge. ..So many times I have read something on line that sounds helpful and I consider trying it until I get to the point where they reveal the charge for sharing this info.. I can’t afford that. So I keep reading and come across more and more people that offer services that might be of benefit but they want money for it. And most of these exercises-either physical or mental are basic and uncomplicated. But they want money. They have decided they have something people will pay for and quit their jobs and try to go online full time. To me, this is taking advantage of a part of society that honestly needs help the most. If it was me, I would tell the world for free. If someone is suffering, I try to think of what I know that could help. But I would never send a bill with it. If these people genuinely cared, they would help for for free, instead of taking advantage of people who are desperate to be well. I f I made a cake and you liked it and said you would like to make it yourself….I wouldn’t charge you for the recipe.! And the claim that everyone is entitled to make a living is bs to me in this area. Making money from the people who need help the most but can afford it the least is unfair and unAustralian , to me. It makes me furious They tell you all the ways that their product is just what you need and why and what a huge difference it will make in your life and it could be the one thing you’ve been lacking but to find out what it was , pay a one off payment of whatever. They’re not doctors. They’re not any kind of medical clinician at all. Just an average person usually with a made up title like life enhancing director.. 100%bs. And all aimed at separating us , the mental/ emotional war veterans , from our few dollars. Taking advantage of our need to get well. Maybe there are some who are worthwhile.it might just be me, but I wonder when we started charging people for advice that could help and.that the blogger didn’t create . It’s like paying the thief for a pirated agenda. It’s just wrong.ok. I’m done. For now ha

KB1984 New GP and Mental Health Plan update
  • replies: 4

Hello, I am unhappy with my current GP practice - none of the GP's that we have seen over the past 5 years are there anymore, including the one that set up my mental health plan. I was seeing a Psychologist and it was not the right fit, and now thing... View more

Hello, I am unhappy with my current GP practice - none of the GP's that we have seen over the past 5 years are there anymore, including the one that set up my mental health plan. I was seeing a Psychologist and it was not the right fit, and now things have changed in my life therefore its time to update my plan and seek a new Psychologist. I am also thinking about changing my GP practice. Am wondering how easy that is to do, and would they have access to my plan, or should I just stick with my current practice and get my plan updated. Thank you.

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Lonelygirl95 My friends don’t seem to care
  • replies: 1

Hey there, I (29F) have been really struggling with feeling lonely/isolated for the past month and a bit. It feels like talking to my friends is getting increasingly difficult because they’re responding slowly, if at all. I keep telling my friends ab... View more

Hey there, I (29F) have been really struggling with feeling lonely/isolated for the past month and a bit. It feels like talking to my friends is getting increasingly difficult because they’re responding slowly, if at all. I keep telling my friends about how I’m feeling and it’s just starting to feel like they don’t care. I haven’t seen any of my friends in a little over a month and it feels like none are really interested in doing things. I’ve tried to suggest things to do, even if it’s just as simple as playing games online together but they either express disinterest in what I’m offering or they cancel on me. I really don’t know what to do anymore, and don’t know how much more I can express how terrible I feel. I just keep getting the response of “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to make you feel like that.” It honestly makes me just want to start all over again somewhere new.

Guest_36619862 someone just tell me something- im so lost and done.
  • replies: 0

my boyfriend left me. context: hes been my best friend for 4 years and boyfriend for 1.5 years I kept the relationship a secret for 1.5 years, and finally told my parents (kept it from them for cultural and religious reasons). after telling them that... View more

my boyfriend left me. context: hes been my best friend for 4 years and boyfriend for 1.5 years I kept the relationship a secret for 1.5 years, and finally told my parents (kept it from them for cultural and religious reasons). after telling them that i will fight for him, against their wishes, they had no choice but to accept my choice. this was extremely hard to do, but i did it for him. I made a promise to him, to tell him and keep him informed on everything my family says. My family said they dont like that his parents are uneducated, despite him being educated, and therefore they think he would have different values and ethos to us because of this. After telling him this, he felt beyond disrespected, and having valued his family so much he decided to leave me. He couldnt be with me because he knows that in order to be with me, it means choosing me over his family in his head. It means accepting what my parents said about his. We are very much in love, soul tied, but cannot be together because of this. For him, a moral line was crossed. After all the fighting i did for him, for it to end like this kills me. I had no control over anything and now im left in excruciating pain, wondering how to process and move on. i know the first step is starting to accept and respect his decision, which to me means not reaching out and remaining in no contact. However, I cannot escape this unbearable feeling that I lost the one. My best friend for life is gone. Help.

PsychedelicFur I don't know if my boyfriend is abusive.
  • replies: 6

Hey folks, I have a few concerns about my current relationship. Yesterday we were meeting up at the train station in the CBD. I live 45 minutes away and we were going to meet up after his work for dinner. I was three minutes late and he didn't want t... View more

Hey folks, I have a few concerns about my current relationship. Yesterday we were meeting up at the train station in the CBD. I live 45 minutes away and we were going to meet up after his work for dinner. I was three minutes late and he didn't want to wait for me. Our plan was to meet up at the train station and head to the restaurant together. Although, my train was running a bit late and I apologised profusely but he left the train station and went without me. Once I arrived at the train station I was panicking and I admittedly acted very irrational with asking him where he was and explaining how I was feeling constantly over text. He told me I was being negative. And I was choosing the option to go home because I felt rejected and unheard. And he said he would enjoy his meal and he will talk to his mother instead about his day. And when I told him I was feeling really sad he left a smiley face over text and it made me feel really neglected and unloved. We had made the plans the day before to meet at the station but I was three minutes late and he didn't want to wait for me. Admittedly I did act a little irrational and told him I was really upset with him, over text on a continuous loop because I felt unheard and rejected. There have been a few others things that have been happening that has made me question the relationship. Telling me what to wear once when I was wearing tracksuit pants and a jumper because it wasn't feminine. Frequently telling me I'm doing things incorrectly; whether it is putting too much toothpaste on my tooth brush or telling me i should not have got the numbing for my tooth when i went to the dentist. Said he wishes he could have done more for lunch for us after getting us free chips from Grilld but then bought himself a donut after lunch for himself. He told me he was glad I had lost weight otherwise he would not have dated me.Just a few things. Not sure what to do or if I'm overreacting. Feeling disrespected and unheard.

Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

Guest_11003310 Connecting with someone who’s in hospital
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, does anyone have any tips for how to spend time with a loved one who’s severely depressed and in hospital? They have been in hospital for several months receiving treatment, but without improvement. When we visit they are very withdrawn ... View more

Hi everyone, does anyone have any tips for how to spend time with a loved one who’s severely depressed and in hospital? They have been in hospital for several months receiving treatment, but without improvement. When we visit they are very withdrawn and it’s clear they don’t really want to engage in conversation. They usually love reading, but aren’t feeling up to reading books at the moment. We’re trying to think of other ways to connect with them, or easy activities we can do in their room that don’t require too much cognitive load, so they don’t feel pressured to make small talk whenever we visit. Thanks in advance.

Ranga-1 Worried About My Son
  • replies: 0

Hello. I have anxiety, but I'm doing this post about my son. He turns 20 in a few weeks. He's showing signs of depression. I have asked him if he's okay, but he says he is. He's withdrawn from study, and although he has a casual job, he doesn't get m... View more

Hello. I have anxiety, but I'm doing this post about my son. He turns 20 in a few weeks. He's showing signs of depression. I have asked him if he's okay, but he says he is. He's withdrawn from study, and although he has a casual job, he doesn't get many shifts. Therefore, he is at home a lot and on his new computer. The good thing is that some of his habits have changed - he hasn't touched weed for ages and he drinks very little, if at all. I know he's interacting and chatting with people when he's on the computer - I hear him talking, so I'm relieved he's not isolated. I'm concerned because some of his routine has changed - he hasn't been practising his drumming, and he is a keen drummer (this could be because of the novelty of his new computer). Also, he rarely showers. He will shower if he's got work etc, but he gets bogged into his computer and forgets to shower. It's not too bad because it's winter, although I'm sure if it were summer, he'd get into the shower! I'm concerned about his neglect of everyday hygiene and loss of interesting in his music. How can I help him?

Todd777 Insomnia Group Chat
  • replies: 6

I'm looking to talk to anybody who wishes to share their experiences or somebody else's in relation to the symptoms of insomnia and potential remedies. I have had insomnia to varying degrees for the last 12 months went undiagnosed for 6 months.one of... View more

I'm looking to talk to anybody who wishes to share their experiences or somebody else's in relation to the symptoms of insomnia and potential remedies. I have had insomnia to varying degrees for the last 12 months went undiagnosed for 6 months.one of yhe things i find quite psychologically disturbing is chest pain when i get fatigued due to no good sleep i have had heart issues recently too which makes me very paranoid although when I get a check up the doc says I should be ok anf recommend the fatigue as the culprit. What is it like fir other people that's what I'm was wondering? Any similar experiences? I feel like when I get the sleep my symptoms go away and even got some good exercise in although my problem pushing too much too early and alcohol. I think i need to go dry to shake this thing

Long-term support over the journey

A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.

Tiredmummah Everything just feels like too much work
  • replies: 5

Good evening, I have little drive to accomplish anything. I have 2 beautiful kids. But some days I end up just zoning out watching crap on my phone instead of spending time with them. I feel like I'm failing, hubby works afternoons so 5 days a week i... View more

Good evening, I have little drive to accomplish anything. I have 2 beautiful kids. But some days I end up just zoning out watching crap on my phone instead of spending time with them. I feel like I'm failing, hubby works afternoons so 5 days a week it is all on me. To keep the house tidy, feed kids, bath kids, homework, additional homework from speech therapy for 1 kid. Walk the dog's (definitely not happening as much as it should). I only work casual, so it's not like I am struggling with time, just the will to get things done. I'm sick of things not happening, but not enough to commit to doing things about it. No idea what to do to get me out of this massive slump

quirkywords Now do you cope with someone who thinks they are always right.?
  • replies: 5

I live with someone who is always right.i have tried say nothing , I have tried calmly stating my view but the person can’t hand,e me having my own opinion. Then it mends up in me being called names. people tell me let it go and cwhy should it matter... View more

I live with someone who is always right.i have tried say nothing , I have tried calmly stating my view but the person can’t hand,e me having my own opinion. Then it mends up in me being called names. people tell me let it go and cwhy should it matter.

mtc Imprisoned Families
  • replies: 1

I’m from the USA originally and started a life in AU over a decade ago. While I have been here, my sister’s son started to experience paranoid schizophrenia and sadly killed someone. He should be in prison, he was guilty, he needs medical treatment a... View more

I’m from the USA originally and started a life in AU over a decade ago. While I have been here, my sister’s son started to experience paranoid schizophrenia and sadly killed someone. He should be in prison, he was guilty, he needs medical treatment and should be under the care of a psychiatrist his entire life. He went into prison at 20, will be in prison for 45 years, we’ll all be dead by the time he gets out, so that means the remainder of my sister’s life is essentially over (for any mother who has a son in prison knows this). She’s not the strong type to move on (the guilt, the sense of failure, the anxiety of going out - it was in the news, the removal of any social media, the hiding, the complete identity change). Aside from that, how do families “move on?” Prison doesn’t just take the offender, it takes the entire family. Those who don’t want to be taken, leave the family, as in you never hear from them again (it’s like they died). The ones who comfort the mother, they walk the line of staying in prison with her. She never moves on. She would be happier if everyone in the family wrote to him or kept in touch somehow but because everyone has walked away, she feels compelled to remain for the daily phone call and can never move on. I don’t think my family can cope with 45 years, the remainder of our lives like this. My sister has tried to kill herself once, she’s turned to religion, as you do when you can’t find answers or others like you. I never cared about prisoners, prisons, any of that…until it came my way. I’ve never thought about what prison is there for and how it is supposed to “rehabilitate.” I presume just like his victim’s family will suffer generations, we shall as well and that’s the point of prison. It’s just insane, I can’t even explain the challenge of your soul to try to survive it.