Caring for myself and others

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Guest_41780797 Struggling with Homelessness, Financial Hardship & Domestic Violence
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I never thought I’d be in this position, but life has taken some tough turns, and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m currently experiencing homelessness, financial struggles, and the impacts of domestic violence. I’ve been trying to hold every... View more

Hi everyone, I never thought I’d be in this position, but life has taken some tough turns, and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m currently experiencing homelessness, financial struggles, and the impacts of domestic violence. I’ve been trying to hold everything together, but it’s getting harder by the day. Financially, things have been difficult for a while. I’ve been working, but between unexpected expenses, debts, and trying to keep up with life, I feel like I’m always behind. I’ve been dealing with a company that has been unfairly charging me after a contract ended, and I’ve had to escalate the issue legally. On top of that, I’m facing ongoing issues with my car, making it harder to get around for work and daily needs. The situation at home has also become unbearable. I’ve had to distance myself from certain family members due to ongoing disrespect, emotional and verbal abuse, and constant boundary violations. I’ve tried to set clear limits, but they keep being ignored, making it impossible to feel safe or at peace. I’ve reached a point where I cannot keep putting myself in toxic situations, but walking away feels like losing everything I’ve known. Through all of this, I’ve been trying to stay strong. But I’m stuck, unsure of what will happen next. The uncertainty is exhausting, and some days I feel like I’m running out of options. I know I’m not the only one struggling, and that’s why I’m posting here. I’m hoping to connect with others who understand what it’s like to feel stuck between survival and trying to build a better future. If anyone has advice, resources, or just words of support, really appreciate it. Thanks for reading.

Ggrand Virtual Birthday and special occasions Party 🎉🎂 🎊 🥳…
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone…珞勺.. Many people on these forums, spend birthdays, Easter, Christmas, New Years Eve…and many more significantly important days in there lives feeling a lot of loneliness and sadness because they live alone, or are estranged from family... View more

Hello everyone…🤗🩷.. Many people on these forums, spend birthdays, Easter, Christmas, New Years Eve…and many more significantly important days in there lives feeling a lot of loneliness and sadness because they live alone, or are estranged from family members and friends…I am one of those people…..loneliness seems to overtake and overwhelm me/us on these special days, more then any other day… If it’s your Birthday or an important day in your life you’re very welcome to share your day/s here on this thread where members of these forums can celebrate with you…we can all bring virtual food, nonalcoholic drinks, in the hope that you don’t feel so lonely….and we make your day a little special….Beyond Blue community members are not just people, we all are a special and unique family…caring, supporting and being their for each other… My love, care and gentle warm hugs everyone….🩷🌹🦋🤗..Grandy…

Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M. 💙

Treatments, health professionals and therapies

Information on a range of different areas, including managing relationships with GPs and psychologists, and finding the right services for you.

Guest_00832948 Psychiatrist moved states with no notice
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As the title states. I’ve been waiting to hear back since she canceled my last appointment back in December (she canceled day of) and the most recent communication was an email notifying me that she was no longer available in my city and that she had... View more

As the title states. I’ve been waiting to hear back since she canceled my last appointment back in December (she canceled day of) and the most recent communication was an email notifying me that she was no longer available in my city and that she had moved out of state. What’s more concerning is that she has likely done this to all her patients. I believe I am one of the oldest being out of highschool with many of her other clients being teens. I’ve been thankful that I’ve started seeing a new psychologist (whom is going on maternity in May but she’s already planning on my move to another while she’s away) I feel I need to say something to someone about how unethical this move was as we had no communication since her cancellation email in December until her “I’ve moved” email. What do I do?

crjones bias in mental health
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Hi, I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a racial discrepancy with people that are admitted to and diagnosed by the new health system. Please keep racial slurs out of your comments.

Hi, I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a racial discrepancy with people that are admitted to and diagnosed by the new health system. Please keep racial slurs out of your comments.

Ankit Right Guidance
  • replies: 1

hi I need away to manage my mood disorder correctly I a. Goign to start medicatiom fro. Tomorrow but i laos need an help with likewise people who have gone through and going through this as I am still not able to overcome this as well as being proact... View more

hi I need away to manage my mood disorder correctly I a. Goign to start medicatiom fro. Tomorrow but i laos need an help with likewise people who have gone through and going through this as I am still not able to overcome this as well as being proactive abou this helps me so.etime and sometime it doesnt it is very hardas people have judged me but I know my situation I am becoming very sentive need right direction

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

geelt I don't want to deal with the aftermath of change
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My family dynamic is barely held together and is one small conflict from falling apart all the time. I can't stand dealing with the inane arguments and stupid points of conflict so I do what I can to ease the points of contention. This isn't the righ... View more

My family dynamic is barely held together and is one small conflict from falling apart all the time. I can't stand dealing with the inane arguments and stupid points of conflict so I do what I can to ease the points of contention. This isn't the right way to approach things and it's just sweeping the problems under the rug. These people aren't going to change and the root isn't going to be addressed. Communication is really difficult. No one likes talking to one another and they can't without one of them getting mad. I have to be the one to ask questions for someone or answer a question for them. Now its my job to be the mouthpiece for my mum and she assumes I know what everyone else is thinking. Even if I do everything myself, organize and cook my own food, I still need to come up with a menu for my siblings because my mum cant communicate with my siblings without being yelled at for being annoying. She struggles to come up with ideas for dinner because she doesn't know what they want to eat. and shes very picky and complains if we eat the same thing twice in a row and doesnt want us eating leftover food. The easy solution is to stop letting myself be the one to organize everything grow a spine, get everyone to contribute and maybe cook their own food instead of making it our Mum's job. If they don't come up with ideas for what to eat then no dinner for them. If I try this my Mum will panic and freak out and that defeats the point. I'm so terrified of being caught in the crossfire between arguments with my parents and siblings. Arguing with anyone and trying to make change is like talking to a brick wall. I hate getting angry because it makes me feel so pathetic losing control but its infuriating dealing with them. talking and trying to get others to change doesnt work. I cant sleep because im thinking how long i have to deal with this for. I want to help but its meaningless. I need to move out but I cant find a job. I cant get out of my head and make meaningful changes to my life and focus on what i can control. I love my family but they just make me mad all the time but i cant say anything because im just a crazy man getting mad at nothing. the result of my bad choices and spinelessness standing up for myself does nothing. no one else sees it as a problm. im really unintelligent if I cant handle doing this bare minimum let alone hold onto a job or study or anything real people do in life

Guest_02126273 The effects of ghosting someone
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My ex beat the shit out of me! He kicked me in the stomach on his dirty floor. It took me a year to to get over that and go on dates again. It always starts out so lovely and sweet, texting before a date, great banter and cute messages, they act like... View more

My ex beat the shit out of me! He kicked me in the stomach on his dirty floor. It took me a year to to get over that and go on dates again. It always starts out so lovely and sweet, texting before a date, great banter and cute messages, they act like there into me but it’s all an act! after they get what they want they ghost and delete, cast me aside like I meant nothing to them. It’s taking a tole on my mental health. Each time I wonder why I wasn’t good enough for them- was it my body? am I too fat? They’ve seen my body and find it hideous. I’ve been going to the gym, and eating one meal a day! I’m obsessed with surgery before and afters, wondering if I got a nose job/ liposuction that if I was prettier maybe someone would treat me better. I just want to love someone, cook for them give massages and do fun things but I can’t find a single person! I can’t believe they can justify doing do this to someone when they know I have a kind heart! How can they be so cruel! Last year this has happened to me 5 times. If it happened again I feel like I just want end it- honestly! My heart can’t take it anymore 😞 please think about people before you leave another person wondering.

Flyingmonkey Being Destroyed By My So Called Family
  • replies: 0

I have joined this site as I am besides myself with recent events.I have a twin sister and a brother, and an elderly mother. Twin sister has claimed she wants to help mother out (who lives in a retirement village). Brother lives interstate so he has ... View more

I have joined this site as I am besides myself with recent events.I have a twin sister and a brother, and an elderly mother. Twin sister has claimed she wants to help mother out (who lives in a retirement village). Brother lives interstate so he has nothing to do with anything however he is pertinent to this post. These three family members have never shown me respect, love, or any regard whatsoever. I have had a lifetime of bullying, gaslighting, ridicule, abuse. I have realised they are all narcissists. As the scapegoat I have tried to defend myself on many occasions, only to further inflame them. To this day I have no idea why this is the way of things..it just always has been. I have had a horrible life and I am sure it is because of them. My twin sister is always bullying me to visit mother. I do visit her regularly. I hate visiting her. She is totally selfish and never once asks anything about my life. It is all about her...as it always has been. However, I put on a brave face and try to be 'nice' (that is my part in this circus isn't it?). The last time I visited her I thought we had a good time. I bought her lunch (which incidentally I never get paid back for although my twin sister says she will pay me back as she controls mother's money!). I made her cuppas and watered her garden. She kept 'falling asleep' all the time....? I checked her temperature etc and she declared 'I have chronic fatigue syndrome' and I know nothing can be done about it'. So after one hour or a bit longer I left; I hugged her and told her I love her and I thought that was that. The following week my Aunty (whom I am very close to) visited me and told me that mother had rung her about a week after my visit asking Aunty if I hate her? Aunty was gobsmacked and said "I am sure she doesn't but I do know she has a lot of issues in her life right now" (which I do). I rang mother to discuss and she blew me off. I said to her once I thought it was sorted "I hope you haven't told my twin sister about this" as my sister is violent and I was scared she would do something? Mum said "No I never would make trouble between you two". So imagine how I felt when my sister rang the other day to tell me that Mum told her all about it? Also that she was on her way to the airport to pick up my brother? Not one of them told me he was coming over. I feel totally kicked in the head by all three of them and I actually hate them all now and want absolutely nothing to do with them. I guess I am just posting here as it is so horrible and I have never done them any harm...in fact I have done a lot to help them in various ways but they never reciprocate. I am almost 60 years old and I am totally over putting up with these horrible people. They ruin my life.

Supporting family and friends

Share tips on supporting a partner, family member or friend with a mental health condition, and seeking support for your own wellbeing.

TAL Fine Lines
  • replies: 2

My son has just turned 26.As an adult, he has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression. Just a week ago he completed a 4 week stay at Gunnedah, an addiction retreat, at our (great) expense.He has been self medicating with weed and nicotine fo... View more

My son has just turned 26.As an adult, he has been diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety and depression. Just a week ago he completed a 4 week stay at Gunnedah, an addiction retreat, at our (great) expense.He has been self medicating with weed and nicotine for quite a few years, but apart from those addictions he really wanted a "reset" - learning better habits, trying new things - and he got that there and felt heaps better.But although I don't think he has gone back to the nicotine and weed (yet) he has already lost those good habits and is struggling. He lives in Brisbane and we live 7 hours' drive away in the country. We are heavily financially supporting him and I think that makes it harder for us not to nag him about "getting on with life" although we do try to just listen and be supportive of how much he feels he can and can't do in terms of work (and life).He sees a couple of different psychologists and therapists, one being specifically an addiction counsellor as he feels he has always been addicted to something, whether it be food, gaming or weed. I just really need to know where to step in, and where not to. I have started seeing a psychologist myself but that is about me, not him I guess.

Guest_35107875 Supporting my daughter
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My daughter is a single mum of 2 with depression and ptsd and juat need advice on how to help her i already help with the kids but doesn’t seem to be enough for her she’s really down

My daughter is a single mum of 2 with depression and ptsd and juat need advice on how to help her i already help with the kids but doesn’t seem to be enough for her she’s really down

Ranga-1 How can I help my 20yo son?
  • replies: 1

Hi. My 20yo son is showing signs of depression. He is not working at the moment and not doing much by way of job hunting. He has expressed interest in doing online TAFE study, but his dad and I are encouraging him to find some part-time work. I asked... View more

Hi. My 20yo son is showing signs of depression. He is not working at the moment and not doing much by way of job hunting. He has expressed interest in doing online TAFE study, but his dad and I are encouraging him to find some part-time work. I asked him last night if he was losing confidence in himself and he said he was. How can I support him and assist him? I am thinking of suggesting some volunteer work - this will help him see his worth and it can be rewarding, as well as giving him some transferrable workplace skills. He does not drive because of a medical condition. However, he is considering speaking to his neurologist for a certificate declaring him as having been seizure-free for a certain time, and then going for his learner's permit. We are in a rural area with limited public transport options I spoke with my own psychologist yesterday and she advised me to continue to be supportive, which I am doing, notwithstanding it gets so frustrating that I want to scream GET A JOB at him. This can be counterproductive because if he CAN'T get work, that's extra pressure. I would like to see him applying at least. Any suggestions and stories would be so appreciated for this very worried mum.

Long-term support over the journey

A space for regular members to keep in touch and revisit ongoing discussions with more than 100 posts.

Jaster First post...looking for some kindred spirits.
  • replies: 4

Hi, I'm a guy in his 50's with 2 beautiful children and a supporting wife of 30 years. Not bad for someone who's parents both married 3-times each. Still to this day I find it hard to understand my depression. All the counselling, medication and exer... View more

Hi, I'm a guy in his 50's with 2 beautiful children and a supporting wife of 30 years. Not bad for someone who's parents both married 3-times each. Still to this day I find it hard to understand my depression. All the counselling, medication and exercise has helped up unto a point, sadly, like today...I just feel awful and hopeless. I have no family or friends and this is for many reasons. My consciously disconnected from my family as it was too triggering. Too many memories and disappointments. Friends...well I pushed them away from embarrassment. Other than my long suffering wife who is an angel, I literally have no-one and this has been the case for many years now. I can flick a switch and literally be social and friendly. You would never know. Its just a facade and I wish I could find my true passion for living again. Thanks for indulging me. I hope you are well.

mangotarts Losing the ability to express emotion and unsure if I am being mistreated
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, sort of just on here trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with me because I've seen no one else with this issue when I put the search in. I'm a bit confused about how to begin to find the answer to this, but I've found for the las... View more

Hi everyone, sort of just on here trying to figure out what on earth is wrong with me because I've seen no one else with this issue when I put the search in. I'm a bit confused about how to begin to find the answer to this, but I've found for the last 5 or 6 years that I cannot cry even though I feel such a deep need to let something out. When I was 11 I had my parents split and I didn't really get the support needed from either of them to understand why or to make my way through the sadness/confusion someone that young would with an event such as that, and I was often put into the place where I had to take care of my mum if she was sad about the topic. This led to my mum leaving home and coming home late as she was with her partner who replaced my dad, and with my mum out wherever she was, my dad was left to care for us at home until the divorce was finalised and he found a new place to stay. I turned to a various array of substances and snuck out every night to use them because it helped me ignore the thoughts on whether my mum did or didn't like being around me. A few months after I began moving towards stronger drugs I tried to take my own life and since then nothing has been the same at all, the aftermath of that was a long period of complete numbness and I stopped seeing any colour inside of the world somehow. My attempt has given me issues with a medication I take to help me sleep as the feeling it provides is identical to how I felt as my life was drifting away. Nobody knew that I tried to leave and I don't think I'll ever tell my parents just because I don't want to hurt them. The main issue I have now that my colour and emotions have come back is sometimes I don't feel present or real and I haven't been able to cry or feel much since then. In the 6 years since my attempt, I haven't found any way to release any anger or sadness I feel from just day-to-day life or issues and its finally gotten to the point that I cant take it so I would appreciate answers on why I cant get any of it out of my system.

Deb1963 I don't know where to turn for help
  • replies: 1

Hi I new to all this but my son has been incarcerated yet to be sentenced and is been threatened in jail. He is being stood over and made to call me to get money pit in someone's else's account for protection. I dont have money to pay and am so worri... View more

Hi I new to all this but my son has been incarcerated yet to be sentenced and is been threatened in jail. He is being stood over and made to call me to get money pit in someone's else's account for protection. I dont have money to pay and am so worried he is going to end up hurt. Where do I take this to get help....