I had a heated argument over text with my former therapist regarding a
past friendship of mine. The conflict began when she told me I should
take responsibility for my part in that friendship, and I reacted out of
anger by calling her disgusting. She...
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I had a heated argument over text with my former therapist regarding a
past friendship of mine. The conflict began when she told me I should
take responsibility for my part in that friendship, and I reacted out of
anger by calling her disgusting. She then admitted that she had said
this intentionally because she wanted to see my reaction, knowing it
would trigger me.When I called her out on this and told her the
environment felt unsafe, abusive, toxic, and disgusting, she became
highly defensive and denied it, while claiming she was trying to change
my perspective. She also threw it back in my face that I was using that
word again, even though we had explicitly talked about that kind of
language in a previous session. During this exchange, she patronisingly
asked if I wanted her to call my mum about our argument.The following
day, she decided to terminate our therapeutic relationship. She texted
me stating that it was time for me to find a counsellor with a softer
approach who doesn't challenge me. She expressed that she was deeply
offended by my words, claiming that I wanted her to collude with me,
that I didn't understand boundaries, and that I should speak to my
parents when I can't sit well with my thoughts before pressing send.I
felt incredibly patronised by her statements, as if she was treating me
like a child instead of an adult man. Looking back, I realise I did want
her to collude with me, and I kept bringing up the friendship conflict
despite already knowing what her response would be. Still, the
termination hurts deeply because she has known my mum and me since I was
a toddler, back when she was my specialist teacher. After a 20-year gap,
we crossed paths again, and she became my counsellor for several years
during my twenties.Furious and acting on impulse, I reported her to the
healthcare complaints board online that same day. A few days later, I
sent her a formal complaint letter generated by AI, which she replied to
on the very same day, apologising for her wrongdoings.Shortly after
that, my parents found out what happened and sat down to have a serious
discussion with me. Reflecting on that conversation made me realise I
had made a massive mistake by escalating the situation so impulsively.
Following our discussion, my mum texted her to thank her for the help
she had provided over the years, and I withdrew the official complaint
the next day. My parents were disappointed at that time.A few days
later, I texted her to apologise and confirm the withdrawal. In the
text, I noted that I had already found a new counsellor and respected
her decision to end our therapeutic relationship, adding that I didn't
expect a reply.Despite me saying I didn't expect a response, she texted
back anyway. She expressed that she was still upset and found the
AI-generated letter abusive and threatening. She noted that I still
carried profound anger, but offered to speak with my new counsellor
about our past work together. She also asked for permission to call my
mum for a proper goodbye.A few days later, I texted her back, granting
permission for her to email my mum instead of calling or texting. I
explained that my mum simply wants to move on and prefers not to discuss
the matter over the phone. She has not replied to me or sent an email to
my mum.I have decided to move on and leave things as they are, but the
whole experience has left me feeling very conflicted. I wanted to share
this anonymously to get some outside perspective. How does this
situation look from an outsider's point of view?
i think i'm autistic but i'm scared
