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[Seeking_help7]

Hi. 

About 7 years ago I was sexually assaulted, I’ve be keeping it deep down for such a long time, I started seeing therapist, but I couldn’t find one that would actually help me deal with it, rather skip over it or talk about for a brief minute then onto something else. 

I have extreme anxiety and frequent panic attacks, and I haven’t been myself since the assault, and sounds strange but I’ve started to mould myself to other people and be a version of myself they would like, and I turn into this “fake person”. And this “fake person” is taking over more and more of me each day. This “fake person” needs to be in control 24/7 and needs to know every little detail and then will discuss everything over and over to make sure that they are consistently in control. Everything is planned to a t, and if something doesn’t go right I have a complete breakdown, because I’m not in control. My partner will often snap me out of it and bring me back, but it’s not always right away and some times it takes some harsh words to bring the real me back. 

I am hurting my partner and that’s hurting me. I can’t keep living like this and need help. 

I just need some help and guidance on what/ who is the best kind of person to see for this kind of issue. (Preferably any free services and support groups ect) 

Sorry if this doesn’t make too much sense.. thank you. 

[indigo22]

Hi Seeking_help7,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through and very disappointed to hear that, despite going to more one therapist, you have not been helped though the trauma.

My best advice at this time is to call the below helpline - they deal with sexual assault and domestic violence daily and would be very helpful for you in finding someone in your area. They are available to talk to in real time whenever you feel the need.

We can support you whenever you want to talk about things, however, the helplines are best for more pressing needs which I feel is the case for you at present.

1800Respect - available 24/7 - 1800 737 732

You have my empathy and I will be here to support you whenever you feel like talking and would be interested to hear how you go with the helpline should you wish to let me know.

Take good care of yourself,

indigo

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome.

I'm with indigo22 on this one and suggesting that 1900RESPECT would be the best place to start.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. What you said... It makes complete sense, and you deserve support that truly helps you heal. You're not alone in this, and reaching out like you have is a strong step forward. Please take care of yourself.