Welcome and Orientation

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HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

Introducing...the community champions

replies: 22

Hi everyone, Some of you may have noticed that a few of our members are labelled ‘Community champion’ and have a beyondblue National Roadshow bus badge, like this: This thread explains who these members are and what they do. Community champions are volunteers within the forums who: Have the time, skills and empathy to support other members Make an effort to welcome new members Are regularly and actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community as a place of hope and recovery. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! As this is a peer support community that includes members under the age of 18, it is important that we ensure our peer support community leaders have a current 'working with children' check as part of due diligence. In an online environment with anonymous posters, it also provides Beyond Blue (and the community) with some security as to the identity of who is posting as a community champion. We ask our community champions to spend at least 2-3 hours a week posting and responding in the forums, but in reality they go far above and beyond this. Like me, they’re not psychologists or counsellors, just regular folk like yourselves who have experience with anxiety and depression. I’ll leave it to our champion volunteers to reply below and let you know a bit about themselves. PS. If this is your first time on the forums and you'd like to introduce yourself, please start a new thread rather than replying in here.

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I often feel jealous

replies: 3

Hi, I am in need of advice or just people to listen to me. I am in relationship that has been going nearly 5 years and I have a very hard time with jealousy. It’s not my partners fault as I was the same with my ex wife. It’s something that I have always been ashamed of and I try my best to not let it show. I always do things to try and avoid me having suspicious thoughts for example I never look at her phone when she is messaging people (A) it is unfair to her not really my business and (B) I don’t want to see a small part of a conversation and have it taken out of context making me feel suspicious. I finding doing these sort of things helps. However if something seems out of place to keep going with phone example say she seems to type quickly and then close phone when I sit next to her I start wondering why she is doing that, when in reality she wants to finish messaging so we can talk uninterrupted but my mind straight away thinks she is hiding something , the phone is just an example other times she will say things that seem out of order to what she has said before which makes my mind tick. I rarely if ever talk to her about it as I know it’s my issue and I don’t want her to feel bad especially when she is doing nothing wrong. I am now at the point where I feel like life would be easier if I left the relationship that way I wouldn’t have to feel this way again. Some days I feel despair and like my head could explode. I just don’t know how to change it. I have seen a psychologist in the past which helps but if I see one she will know why and be hurt which I don’t want to do. Has anyone else felt like this and learned to live with it or could give me any advice? Any and all would be appreciated Thank you

Owed to Solitude

replies: 98

I owe a lot to my current situation in life. In fact, it's probably as close to heaven on earth that I will ever get. I've served my apprenticeship in the School of Hard Knocks. It was actually a life sentence with no time off for good behaviour. I think it was Mr. W. Shakespeare who said "All the world's a stage". And that is precisely what we are - actors on a stage. Some of us play our parts really well and fool the audience into actually believing what we say we are. Then there are those who find it impossible to be anything other than what they are. Not good actors at all. That's where I make my entrance. But I don't play to the audience any more because it is a complete and utter waste of time and effort. Now that I have settled into retirement, I can stop the acting and the pretence and be whatever I choose to be. It's a great pity that we have to spend the greater part of our lives playing to an audience. Some people get away with turning their backs on the bright lights and sink into blissful anonymity. This is what I am trying to do now so that I can gather a little happiness around me before I drop off the perch. When I think back, I seem to have spent so much time trying to keep everyone else happy and giving in to do things when I don't want to. I never had the nerve to say no so I guess I was a real pushover. I think it's time to turn the page on the script and write my own dialogue for a change. Or is that asking too much? I'm not really sure myself. Maybe I am expecting too much. Shame on me eh? But there will come a time when I run out of choices and that will be the end of it. The curtain comes down on another production. I only hope it doesn't come too soon. If we do what we want to when we want to do it, we are called selfish. I have nothing left to give. It's all gone. The audience have gone home and the stage is a dusty platform waiting for the next deception. Sorry, production.

Newbie

replies: 7

Hi everyone, I have just joined this forum. I have regular bouts of severe and obsessional anxiety and also less frequent bouts of depression. I'm in my mid-forties now and have had some sort of these symptoms since I was in my early teens. I had been using substances to numb symptoms (and also emotions) for several decades, but I am happy to say that I recently successfully completed a 13 day residential/medical detox and have now been home for a week and have not used this substance at all The anxiety is felt so physically, it can be very paralysing. It is often not related to particular thoughts or concerns, seems to just take over my body and then the brain follows trying to pinpoint the cause, but this almost never calms the physical symptoms. I have seen many psychologists and psychiatrists over the decades, but nothing has gotten to the root cause of the very uncomfortable symptoms. Doing breathing exercises, actual exercise, taking a bath, trying to relax have not been successful. Hopefully I can pick up some tips or suggestions from these forums. Thanks for reading and all the best P.S. I would also like to help others in the forums if I can.

Newbie

replies: 2

Hi I am new to these forums. I suffer from C-PTSD, anxiety and depression. I currently have a psychologist and psychiatrist for support. I am various types of medications. Have tried DBT, EMDR, ECT just to name a few.I am married with 2 teenage children who are my world.I struggle with everyday life and keep to myself a lot. I don't have any friends.I am hoping I can find people like myself.Thanks for reading.

Over thinking

replies: 4

I’m a 45 year old farmer who has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety for over 19 years riding the highs and lows with dry weather and drought. Think I have trouble with overthinking about things that shouldn’t matter and something i can’t cont... View more

Help my 20year son driving me crazy

replies: 2

Hi I have a 20year old son who hasn’t had a good year. He has had lots of life changes and not coped well. He has health issues as a result. His drinking is a huge problem. He thinks he doesn’t have a problem, I have family history of issues with alcohol which I haven’t hidden and he’s aware but nothing seems to get through to him. Drinking and driving is huge problem, pls help

MDD with anxious distress

replies: 2

Hello, Im a 40-45 year old person who has been diagnosed with MDD with anxious distress after prolonged exposure to stress (that could have been managed if my workplace actually listened to me when I told them that my workload was too high and I was struggling to cope over the period of 8 months before my brain snapped and I stopped functioning or being able to function) I'm currently receiving treatment with a psychologist and in group therapy. I've been unable to work for several months now and it's really hard. Factually I know I'm not a terrible person, but it feels like everything else seems to validate that I AM a burden, that I can't take my share of the load, that I'm useless. I try and see friends but find this exhausting to be constantly assessing my every word and behaviour and struggle with not following conversations or not remembering important details of other people's lives, I keep cancelling on them short notice because the anxiety of leaving the house becomes debilitating. I can't find arousal and oomph for life anymore and my partner feels rejected and lonely (they have told me this) and keep telling me they "need to lower their expectations" and when they are frustrated they stomp around, slam things and make statements like "I guess I'll just do it myself, as always" I try really hard to make sure that I am cooking meals for us, doing our laundry, house chores for a minimimum of 5-6 days a week and when I express that this is hurtful to me, they tell me that they are entitled to feel emotions and I am invalidating them by being defensive and taking their feelings personally. I know their feelings are valid and understandable. But it hurts and I don't know how to fix it and afraid it won't get better. I often feel like it would just be better to go away and let people live without this depressed blob weighing them down because I literally feel like I can't help it. I've never had these feelings before, I've been depressed in the past but none of my coping strategies work for this and I'm exhausted. I'm so afraid it won't get better. I feel like if I could just put only "big person pants" or "have a better mask" it would be ok, but I can't make my brain come to the table and just do what needs to be done. Sorry I am not sure what to say or ask. Thank you for listening.

New member

replies: 7

Hello,This is my first post. I'm not sure I am in the right place, but I need help.My youngest son has a serious medical condition - severe epilepsy syndrome that includes uncontrolled epilepsy, intellectual disability, behavioural problems and other things associated with the syndrome. I've been drinking a lot of wine for a long time, and I am thinking that I need some help with stress relief and decreasing my alcohol intake

Need to talk to somebody.

replies: 2

I lost my friends pet bird that I was looking after and just feel so guilty for the bird and him. I did the wrong thing and walked out the door while it was sitting on my shoulder and it flew away. I have looked for it and put on social media. My fri... View more

My mental illness is stopping me progress in life!

replies: 2

My heart is breaking as I write this post. I just recently withdrew from University foundation studies as it was affecting my mental health as I was struggling with work load having a full-time job, working 12hr shift work, family commitments with 3 children, household duties and making no time for self care or time away from the computer. I was passing very well with my last assignment I submitted achieving a HD for it. Unfortunately I got burnt out and my mental health deteriorated rapidly, I was dreading the process. I had to make the decision to withdraw from my studies and address my mental health. This in turn triggered a breakdown as I wrote the email to my tutors and director that I was withdrawing. It was only then I found out my latest results,which were good, which in turn brought further distress. My point in this post is that my mental health has stopped me progressing in life many times, University studies recently and resigning from a supervisor role for my current job are just two examples. This has affected my outlook on trying to change my career in helping people with mental health. I wanted to try and achieve a degree in social work or become a mental health practitioner. I'm currently hurting and feeling pretty distressed. I'm trying to be proactive by being involved in beyond blue in some form by volunteering or contributing to the community in some way. Its helping with the sense of failure I'm currently feeling! Thank you for reading. Yours in health, Lockyra

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Introducing...the community champions replies: 22

I often feel jealous replies: 3

Owed to Solitude replies: 98

Newbie replies: 7

Newbie replies: 2

Over thinking replies: 4

Help my 20year son driving me crazy replies: 2

MDD with anxious distress replies: 2

New member replies: 7

Need to talk to somebody. replies: 2

My mental illness is stopping me progress in life! replies: 2