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Meet your community champions!

replies: 10

Hi everyone, We wanted to share with you the way that our wonderful Community Champions are here to support you. You may have noticed that a few of our Forums members are labelled ‘Community Champion’. Community Champions are volunteers within the Beyond Blue Forums who: have the time, skills and empathy to support other members regularly; help to welcome new members; are actively engaged members that help set the tone of our community. Our Community Champions are regular contributors to many conversations across the forums. They are a consistent and friendly voice that have committed to sharing their experience and expertise with this community. They are not health care professionals or clinicians. Like you, they have an experience with a mental health challenge or diagnosis – either for themselves or someone they care for. This forum is for people who understand what it feels like and have a lived and living experience of mental health challenges. Our Community Champions help everyone feel comfortable and confident by demonstrating what excellent peer support is all about. Click here to find out more about how you can become a Community Champion! This incredible team are excited to introduce themselves below, and we are sure you’ll see them around the forums in conversations important to you.

HELP..Am I posting in the right section?

replies: 10

Welcome to those who are considering posting for the very first time, welcome. Thought I would repost part of the words that Chris B posted awhile ago, (2014) as I can hear that people are unsure if they are posting in the right section or worried that they are posting "the wrong thing". 1.A good title makes the difference Just like a headline in a newspaper, when scanning the dozens of threads to click into, it’s only natural that people will choose the ones that resonate with them most. A title that entices the reader, or asks a question, is likely to get a better result than something non-descriptive like “Depression” or “I don't know what to do”. If you think you’re not good at choosing titles, leave it till last. Spend time writing your post, then perhaps choose a sentence from what you’ve written as the title. 2.Join in threads that have already been posted We all have our own unique stories, but part of the reason for joining a forum like this one is because you know that you will have a lot in common with others who are posting. Before starting a new thread, have a look through the current topics being discussed and see if there’s a conversation you can join in with. It can be quite common to have a handful of very similar threads happening at any one time, with members seemingly unaware that there are others right there who are going through the same thing. Talking to other members on their threads is a great way of getting yourself known so that when you post a thread of your own, people may respond quicker because they recognize your name. 3.Choose the most appropriate section for your post Many people browse the forums looking for stories specifically to do with pregnancy and parenting, employment, grief, loss, separation etc. Going straight for the “Depression” section may seem like the easiest option, but this section is often the busiest, so your post is more likely to get lost among the threads. Making good use of the different forum sections not only helps keep the forum relevant, but you’re more likely to find others who are going through the same experiences as you. Also, if you're wanting to discuss issues of trauma, abuse, suicidal thoughts or self-harm, it's really important you post in the designated section to avoid triggering others who may not wish to read about these topics. Mostly..just come and chat, we are here for you. Our amazing wizards in the background will see your message ends up in the right spot. Sarah

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Owed to Solitude

replies: 364

I owe a lot to my current situation in life. In fact, it's probably as close to heaven on earth that I will ever get. I've served my apprenticeship in the School of Hard Knocks. It was actually a life sentence with no time off for good behaviour. I think it was Mr. W. Shakespeare who said "All the world's a stage". And that is precisely what we are - actors on a stage. Some of us play our parts really well and fool the audience into actually believing what we say we are. Then there are those who find it impossible to be anything other than what they are. Not good actors at all. That's where I make my entrance. But I don't play to the audience any more because it is a complete and utter waste of time and effort. Now that I have settled into retirement, I can stop the acting and the pretence and be whatever I choose to be. It's a great pity that we have to spend the greater part of our lives playing to an audience. Some people get away with turning their backs on the bright lights and sink into blissful anonymity. This is what I am trying to do now so that I can gather a little happiness around me before I drop off the perch. When I think back, I seem to have spent so much time trying to keep everyone else happy and giving in to do things when I don't want to. I never had the nerve to say no so I guess I was a real pushover. I think it's time to turn the page on the script and write my own dialogue for a change. Or is that asking too much? I'm not really sure myself. Maybe I am expecting too much. Shame on me eh? But there will come a time when I run out of choices and that will be the end of it. The curtain comes down on another production. I only hope it doesn't come too soon. If we do what we want to when we want to do it, we are called selfish. I have nothing left to give. It's all gone. The audience have gone home and the stage is a dusty platform waiting for the next deception. Sorry, production.

Anxiety and Depression

replies: 1

I am an 82 yo male living in a lovely house on the coast. I have a caring and loving wife and a 3 yo dog, a beautiful Labradoodle that every one loves and he loves everyone. My general health is good, but I am depressed and cannot bring myself to exercise. Consequently, I have become a couch potato and a Youtube addict. The reason for my axiety and depression is my 41 yo son, who is a drug addict and has not worked in years, supported by the government by the DSP, and has been diagnosed by a psychiatrist as having Drug Abuse Psychosis. Contantly wasts his pension and then begs me for financial help. I have stopped doing this but he worries me terribly. I don't know what else to do.

Hi I'm Abbie a first timer and a bit lost!

replies: 2

Is this where I post?

New Dad and Struggling with Relationship

replies: 6

I’m so glad I’ve found an Avenue where I can get this out of my system as I’m waiting to see my psychologist. My wife and I recently welcomed our first child and it has been a turbulent six weeks to say the least. Our son struggled with weight gain and then my wife struggled mentally and we were in and out of hospital trying to get things right. He was feeling ill last week and through some doctors discussions she is now avoiding dairy. After a good couple of weeks it has gone downhill again. And I’ve had enough. I cannot help someone any longer that refuses to help themselves. I have suggested many times that she seek help as her mental health has not been good lately. This is met with resistance and aggression in the form of verbal abuse. This is then twisted back onto me and about how all of the problems are my fault and I am the reason she is upset. I challenge this and attempt to suggest alternate viewpoints and stand up for myself. However, I am forced to concede to her viewpoint just to end the discussion. I freely admit that I am not perfect and maybe I could be a little more proactive and attentive but the reaction I get is completely over the top. I then appear distant and disconnected as I am a sure how to communicate after such events. She acts as if nothing has happened and wonders why I feel this way. This has been a similar pattern for years now. I thought it might settle down after our son was born but it has gotten more frequent and ever more scathing in her assessment of me. As a result, I am constantly in a state of angst and second guessing every decision I make regarding our son. Something just as simple as swaddling before bed or getting the AC temperature right becomes incredibly stressful. I am honestly at a loss. She needs help with her temper and her state of mind. Trying to suggest this will only end in another argument and I’m not sure I have anything left in the tank. I feel the same would occur if I tried to stage something of an intervention with family or friends. I can feel our relationship is at breaking point but I can’t just leave my son. Either way I lose as I know if I do walk away there will be little point in being a part of his life as I will still be told that I am not good enough as a man or a father. I can’t take this any more and could use some other viewpoints. thanks in advance.

Emotion v facts / police need training

replies: 2

Hi I have been feeling down and did not know where to go - work stress - busy mechanical/ fuel shop I do admin service advisor babysit and heaps more to carry on with. daughter on ice wants help then does not and makes me believe she will get well and it hurts me when she doesn’t accept any help our family offers. I don’t want to put that on my partner as I see it upsets him when I am upset. So I avoid talking to him. We live so remote and friends are not here to talk to no family. Work people are work people they only see me. Remote don’t have mail everyday or letter boxes we do not even have a place to get a good cappuccino! Or buy clothes or even fresh fruit and veg. I have chronic pain in my foot that will not allow me to walk or exercise or work for more then 2 hrs by then I am dragging my whole leg around and I can’t get the pain away until I rest for 6 hrs elevated- that makes me so cranky. I got on to medication that helps my foot and keeps me active and happy in my head. But then the doctor lied and said no changes to script and 1/2 the amount & extended interval days - I was going through withdrawal from the meds my anxiety in creased a lot and I had no sleep for 3 nights I was not eating well or at all. I went to shop for food seen my boss and I just stop to say see ya Monday but I started to cry and then I said I want it to end - he took it as suicidal and I was then questioned by police and they convinced me from 1100 am to 8pm that I was in a DV relationship and I just agreed by the end of it all. I was telling them I am not myself as my partner he has his head on he don’t know I am here please see him and the police said we deal with DV all the time and you are being controlled. They took all my blubber and tired and in pain and twisted my words they wanted me to put dvo on and I refused- they did one on my behalf I can’t go home to the place I pay rent. He does not work and has not for a few months so my boss hates him and thinks he is using me. They don’t know what we have done before we moved to this death stink town. They just assume he not work he controls me - I go home for lunch my boss said it must be because he controls me. I go home to take medicine at lunch they did not ask why I go home. I don’t go out to work social- drrrr I see ya all week I want to see my partner and be at home where I pay for and love being. Thanks to the police I now have extra stress By me I have to pay 300 for rent and then 770 to have a place to stay while the wet season starts getting wild.

Fellow Bipolar sufferers, I'm new! Chat with me.

replies: 7

Hey there, My name is Kate, I'm 23 years old and I have Bipolar. I'm really new to this whole forum thing, I don't know how it works or if I'm even writing my first post (I think I am.) Is there any other Bipolar sufferers that want to share their stories and tips out there with me? I've had a bit of a rough time lately. I even got sent home from work today because I'm not coping very well. It makes it harder and frustrating because I absolutely adore my job. I don't know why I've joined this. I guess I'm feeling like my friends and family either don't understand or are tired of hearing about my issues. I just need someone to talk to that I guess understands where I'm coming from. Hope to hear from you, whoever you are, soon! X

Challenging your organisation on Return to Work conditions

replies: 3

Hi everyone,This is my first time here but I’m a long time fan of Beyond Blue and would deeply welcome your advice. I’m in my early 50s and have lived with MDD since my early 20s. In the last 5 years it has been ‘treatment resistant’ and I have had three inpatient stays in a private psychology clinic where ECT and med changes and daily group therapy, healthy eating and exercise have left me feeling healthy and enabled me to resume work. I am passionate about contributing to social justice and social change and have held leadership roles in the NFP sector for the past 25 years. I started a new Exec role in a smaller peak organisation 18 months ago. For a range of reasons it has been the most complex role I have done and the last 8 months I felt that some colleagues and young staff in my own team were working against me. Two made formal complaints that were so broad in scope and demeaning in nature that I began to experience frequent migraines for the first time and they did negatively impact on my performance. I have discussed issues and requested support from my CEO since early 2024 but was left to address issues on my own. In September I realised I was in a depressive episode and admitted myself to the psychology clinic for 12 weeks treatment in mid October. I completed an IMA 2 days after my release in December and asked for a meeting with the CEO and HR about my return to work (RTW) before Christmas so I could start 2025 in a good place. I was completely blindsided in our call last week about restarting work yesterday. The IMA made 2 recs. One was not a surprise as my psychiatrist suggested I attend a day program for 3 months (which I have been doing) and I return 4dpw for 3 months. I was okay with this. The second rec was a shock. It was to return as a Policy Officer (most junior role) for 4-6 months with no management responsibilities instead of my current role as Director. I felt completely blindsided especially given they were meant to provide me with the IMA in advance of the meeting.I am not taking RTW and recovery lightly and have worked so hard through treatment, therapy and have built new social, fitness and mindfulness habits into my life and practiced the every day in the 5 weeks since I’ve been home so they fit with working full-time. The doctor who did the IMA didn’t ask me anything about my responsibilities and how I felt about approaching them. Post ECT I am thinking clearly and coherently, reading and writing and communicating well. I feel strong and capable and am attending a therapeutic day program.Personally, I don’t feel that the negative impact on my mental health of sitting quietly (in order to respect an interim Director) while suppressing 20+ years of knowledge, experience and leadership of social reform initiatives) has been taken into account. Nor has any thought been given to the difficulty of then making a transition to a Director role after 4-6 months of exclusion from discussions with own Executive and leaders in Parliament and Government on my confidence and capacity. Any advice on how to appeal while remaining professional and well would be hugely appreciated.

This phoenix doesnt want to get up again.

replies: 4

Brief history : An experience with childhood abuse, drugs, alcohol, homelessness, DV relationships, a couple car accidents, sex work, Now. im 44, still in that industry and, still take drugs (in maintenance phase for the last 20 years, dont binge or go without) and at 35 my suicidal ideation finally settled. my current issue is the end of my 7.5 year relationship. im not coping. i cry, all day. its been 8 months. i miss him so much. it was good. he was good. and bad. we were good, and it was the best thing ive ever had. i worked my ass off, literally, to live in one state with him and fly to spend a week each month with my kids living 2000kms away. for 7 years. while i was with him my 2nd ex husband died unexpectedly, which i didnt find out for 8 months after, and im still processing that. he was a good guy and i still hold a lot of love for him. i think im grieving this loss extra because of the finality. its like a death. ive never had any trouble moving on from a relationship, ever. ive never cried this much over someone who is alive. i honestly cant imagine my life without him in it snd i dont want to either. im done with picking myself up and starting again. i wake up already crying and i pass out exhausted from crying. the only time i dont cry is around other people. its exhausting being around other people, holding it all in. how can he not love me anymore? i know i gave him a LOT of things he'll never find in someone else. He gave me ALL the things i value in a partner, with a few dodgy traits thrown in. ill never find someone with even 2 of the traits he had in abundance. hes my best friend, and i was his only friend. i just dont even want to heal from this. im done. 8 of the best years of my life, the only good ones really. thats where im at.

Need support

replies: 6

Hi Everyone I am new here! I’m soo grateful to find a community that cares and supports each other… Such a great place To introduce myself I am a Single Lady whose kids are grown up and now after a long journey with kids and meaningful life….. I am finding myself a bit lost, sad and overwhelmed stressed and excited exhausted.I know there are people who are worse off … I know there is a lot to be greatful etc etcstill I am a human who feels alone and wants someone who cares loves me and supports me in this life journey I have been trying to find myself a best friend who I can share life with but I couldn’t soo far !day in and day out all by myself now I am at a point of despair…Trying to exercise, church and connect with friends still miss the close friend Mum narcissistic but I try to be reasonable with lovely sisters but they have their life.daughters who don’t enjoy time with me as I am not fun mum to be with as I would rather with my friends too I am going to become a grandmother which is exciting but I have to go to same place where I left after abusive marriage which freaks me out overall I am now feeling anxious to go to see my daughter to be with her as she is becoming a first time mumfeelings of nervousness is striking me as I have to go back to place of trauma.ex moved on and married and lives in the same city as my daughter Feeling more alone as I don’t have someone to share my feelings with.I try to stay positive looking after myself and put positive spin like blessings of grandchild, Atleast it’s only a month in the place where I escaped from and I have now built a safe life, no one to destroy my peace etc etc. Want someone supportive to go through this life withenough of being single and alone….Sorry for the long postThanks for taking the time to listen

Hi new here, my experience with emotional wellbeing

replies: 10

Hi There,Sorry if I post anything not allowed in this post, but I'm happy to be here! happy to have this safe space to write down my thoughts about mental health, share experiences (and to low key vent). I found this forum a long time ago, a lurker and I'm finally posting. I have had a long experience with mental health problems or looking after my emotional well-being I guess... I literally didn't know it was a thing, ... for the longest time. I guess growing up in an immigrant family. Pretty much bottled up my feelings of grief (loss of a caretaker) and breakup (that I didn't class as a breakup) that pretty much sent me off the tracks a lot. I am feeling much more open to sharing these now... and emotional care is quite important to me now. (I have anxiety, and had depression) For me, I have found finding a psychiatrist that listens and takes me seriously, and it has helped me greatly. She monitors my meds and has helped me direct me to see an appropriate psychologist (so many treatments out there, and varying types of psychologists! in my case cbt, schema therapy, ifs therapy etc). In my opinion fit is super important when it comes to matching with a psychologist. I guess what I'm working on now - and why I came to this forum, is that because of my life experiences I am I think experiencing distance from my emotions, maybe dissociation possibly? and unfortunately, it makes me feel like I am living a lie, cos I dissociated when I was 21 (and 10+ years have gone now). When I think of my emotions, gosh , how will I ever intergrate myself (my emotions and thoughts into one unit). I have a own life now, a boyfriend and trying to adult D:, but I have no idea if my emotions even know my boyfriend at all, hence the feeling like a lie bit, and hence the post Thanks for listening to that rant, appreciate the space that this is. I will lurk and be a slow replyier if there is any, thanks

Meet your community champions! replies: 10

HELP..Am I posting in the right section? replies: 10

Owed to Solitude replies: 364

Anxiety and Depression replies: 1

Hi I'm Abbie a first timer and a bit lost! replies: 2

New Dad and Struggling with Relationship replies: 6

Emotion v facts / police need training replies: 2

Fellow Bipolar sufferers, I'm new! Chat with me. replies: 7

Challenging your organisation on Return to Work conditions replies: 3

This phoenix doesnt want to get up again. replies: 4

Need support replies: 6

Hi new here, my experience with emotional wellbeing replies: 10