People like me

The boredom of the HSC process is making me depressed

replies: 1

I am a social person, I have been for many years. I look forward to my weekend plans all week, they get me through bad days because I know it won’t be long till I see my friends. Unfortunately with the HSC, my friends don’t have time for me anymore s... View more

I am a social person, I have been for many years. I look forward to my weekend plans all week, they get me through bad days because I know it won’t be long till I see my friends. Unfortunately with the HSC, my friends don’t have time for me anymore so my weekend plans are few and far between. I expected to be stressed, I didn’t expect to be so agonisingly bored. I cry myself to sleep most nights because I have nothing to look forward to in the short term and I’m completely incapable of ever focussing on a long term goal. I don’t know how to dig myself out of this or if I will be able to until the HSC is over. I miss being able to rest, I miss my friends, I miss my old life.

losing hope in myself to do well

replies: 1

im currently in high school, and i really love science and would love to become a doctor. last year with my chem tests, i did decently, not up to my usual standard, but above average and not bad so i was fine with it (chem is an elective). last term ... View more

im currently in high school, and i really love science and would love to become a doctor. last year with my chem tests, i did decently, not up to my usual standard, but above average and not bad so i was fine with it (chem is an elective). last term i was extremely proud of myself as i studied extremely hard and it paid off since i got the highest mark in my course. i was really excited for the next test and i studied really hard in hopes to make my teacher proud of me and make me proud of myself. i was truly confident when i entered the test. i was confident when i put the answers down. i got my mark back, and it was 20% lower than average. i tried to play it off when my friends asked, but i avoided eye contact and kept saying reassuring phrases such as "i'll learn for next time! i read the question wrong!", but when it was time for lunch, i went to the bathroom and cried so hard because i was really disappointed in myself. my big final chem exam is coming up and im losing hope of even wanting to be a doctor. worst part is the mistakes i made in this test were all the same reason as the ones i lost last year. i feel like i cant improve and i feel even worse when classmates around me are doing better when im not. i mostly hate that my teacher thinks i cant improve either

Burnout?

replies: 3

Hi everyone,I'm currently in Year 12 doing a really heavy STEM workload (Methods, Physics, Chemistry, Biology) and aiming for medicine. For the last few months, I've been stressing a bit, and my body often hits a wall. Right now, I am dealing with fa... View more

Hi everyone,I'm currently in Year 12 doing a really heavy STEM workload (Methods, Physics, Chemistry, Biology) and aiming for medicine. For the last few months, I've been stressing a bit, and my body often hits a wall. Right now, I am dealing with fatigue, brain fog, and this tension in my head and jaw. Sometimes gravity feels so heavy that my body physically really doesn't want to move and just screams at me to do nothing. I'm fluctuating between feeling completely overwhelmed/anxious/guilty and just feeling totally numb, apathetic, and unable to hold my attention. I've been making stupid, easily avoidable mistakes on my schoolwork, and life in general, and my gut has been constantly upset too. I had a weekend of "rest" but I woke up on Monday feeling exactly the same, if not worse, because the line between resting and avoiding the massive pile of work is completely blurred. I’ve wanted to do medicine my whole life because I love human biology and want to help people through vulnerable moments. But feeling like this makes me terrified that I don't have what it takes to be a medical professional. If I can't handle a heavy Year 12 week without it feeling like my body shutting down, how am I supposed to handle a hospital? I feel like my brain is screaming at me to just give up on schoolwork, but I’m terrified of failing or getting stuck in a pathway that won't satisfy me. Has anyone else experienced this kind of physical "freeze" response from academic stress? How do you break the cycle when resting just makes the guilt and the deadlines worse? I just feel so drained and trapped and afraid of the future.

Experimenting with gender causing problems with my partner

replies: 1

I am 19 AFAB, and I have recently been experimenting with how I present and refer to myself. I think I am non-binary, I'm not sure yet, but I've always had these thoughts. I've also had a really strong relationship for the last three years with my bo... View more

I am 19 AFAB, and I have recently been experimenting with how I present and refer to myself. I think I am non-binary, I'm not sure yet, but I've always had these thoughts. I've also had a really strong relationship for the last three years with my boyfriend, who considers himself queer in some way. We are long distance but very close. He very much appreciates my body despite me being openly dysphoric about my large chest and curves for years. Sometimes I worry people only love me for my body, but he reassures me plenty. The last few months have been really rough though, he has some complex anger issues and mental health problems that I simply cannot fix. He will often lash out at anything for the sake of it. Anyways, realising that maybe my severe disconnect from my body may be gender dysphoria, I started wearing a binder to see how I feel. Immediately I felt relieved and like I looked so much more myself. Its the first time I looked in the mirror and really loved who I saw. Binding has made me so confident and radiant in the last few weeks and its making me feel more confident that I might be on the non-binary spectrum. This wasnt the case with my boyfriend. When he first saw me in a binder he was supportive I guess? Because he knew I was happy. But he very quickly turned sour and mean. He was very happy to tell me how much he hated it, how he never wants to see it again, and that i should burn it. He even went as far to pick on my insecurities and tell me I looked even more ugly and disproportionate. This hurt me so deeply. He calmed down and apologised, saying he was just in a bad mood and saw the opportunity to express that negativity and that he just struggles with change (DD's to flat is hard I guess) and it will grow on him. Its been weeks and it is still an issue for him. Again, long distance so with timing he almost never sees me wearing it outside of a selfie a day. It still bothers him greatly. He tells me it doesn't matter if he sees it or not, he still hates the concept of me changing my body when he loves it so much. He still wants me to throw it away. Any time its mentioned he gets in a really bad mood. It's exhausting and makes me feel used, I feel a good lover shouldnt care what you look like and love you the same after three years. At least I dont. What do I do? I feel like if I do decide I identify as non-binary he would make it such a huge problem and hurt me. I don't want to be hurt anymore. How can I help him be just okay with the binder? I'm just really upset. I understand preferences but I dont understand why it bothers him so terribly even when I promised never to show myself in a binder.

Am I or am I not

replies: 1

I don't like labels we are all just people but after 55 years 30 years married, am I gay, I'm so confused, I don't even know how navigate this, I think I just never aloud myself to think about it too much

Help understanding transgender child

replies: 2

Hi all, first time on this site.I am after some help or information if anyone else has the same experience to help me navigate with my 19 yo transgender daughter.We have had a few years of adjusting and coming to terms with this, unfortunately my hus... View more

Hi all, first time on this site.I am after some help or information if anyone else has the same experience to help me navigate with my 19 yo transgender daughter.We have had a few years of adjusting and coming to terms with this, unfortunately my husband could not support our daughter and this along with other reasons has resulted in our separation.It is only after this time where she has been free to transition unencumbered that she has changed.She seems to be a completely different person, and seems false.They are also saying they are pansexual and polyamourous, which makes my head spin for the complexity of their life. I am confused and I want to see if anyone else has had anything similar and how you navigated it. Thanks in advance

Guilt about going home to another city while parent in hospital

replies: 1

My father had a stroke two weeks ago and I have been going to hospital every day since, taking my mum along (a one hour drive wa h way) and advocating for my dad”s health and treatment. He’s doing better now and waiting to go to regab, but is quite w... View more

My father had a stroke two weeks ago and I have been going to hospital every day since, taking my mum along (a one hour drive wa h way) and advocating for my dad”s health and treatment. He’s doing better now and waiting to go to regab, but is quite weak after being in bed for 2 weeks. He’s 88 years old and I’ve been helping keep his spirits up and doing exercises with him to help keep some muscle tone. I don’t know when a rehab bed will become available for him, but I’m feeling exhausted and I’d like to go home for a few weeks. However, I’m feeling terribly guilty about it, and if he declines without such regular visits to boost his morale, I know the guilt is going to consume me. How do other people cope with the guilt of beng away and potentially having a good time with others when an aged parent is unwell or declining?

Racism on the media

replies: 2

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to b... View more

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to be a "human" and get through life

Job Search Blues

replies: 3

Hey everyone, Glad to meet everyone on this forum (hope it's the right forum). I quit my full time job 2.5 months ago without a job in hand, and have been looking for a job in the same field. While I have time until next December to stay in Australia... View more

Hey everyone, Glad to meet everyone on this forum (hope it's the right forum). I quit my full time job 2.5 months ago without a job in hand, and have been looking for a job in the same field. While I have time until next December to stay in Australia and look for a job and have had some interviews, I have been living in constant stress and anxiety, wondering when my next opportunity will appear. I have been regretting the time I quit my job since it acted as golden handcuffs, even though the months leading up to the exit were rough, and I was experiencing stagnant growth from a salary standpoint. Every application rejection is playing with my patience, and is making me look desperate. I am afraid people will call me out for not getting a job. Is there anybody else that is or has experienced the same issue as me? I am keen to hear people's thoughts.

Tough night

replies: 0

Hello tonight has been a tough night , I had to rehome our gorgeous golden retriever last Sunday . He has gone to a farm which will be better for him missing him . Also crying as my ex partner passed away 3 months ago. It’s been a particular rough st... View more

Hello tonight has been a tough night , I had to rehome our gorgeous golden retriever last Sunday . He has gone to a farm which will be better for him missing him . Also crying as my ex partner passed away 3 months ago. It’s been a particular rough start to the year . I keep replaying his voicemails just to hear his voice and it makes me sad that I won’t hear his voice again or see him again .❤️

My 23 year old son committed suicide

replies: 9

He struggled with feelings of shame and despair that he felt he couldn’t share with us. Something happened to him at age 10. Although we tried to get him to open up to us he just couldn’t. We tried many times over the years.He finally shared his stru... View more

He struggled with feelings of shame and despair that he felt he couldn’t share with us. Something happened to him at age 10. Although we tried to get him to open up to us he just couldn’t. We tried many times over the years.He finally shared his struggles with his mother earlier this year, but made her promise not to tell anyone - not even me. I put 2 and 2 together though. Finally, on the 15th of this month he ended his life. His mother blames herself. I don’t. She was in such a difficult situation, and thought if she broke her promise to him he’d attempt suicide. I think he stuck around for a few more months for us. He loved his family. But he believed that, given his issues, he would never be able to have a girlfriend and a family of his own. And that was all he ever wanted.I think living with such issues tired him out. And he thought that suicide was the only way to rest.I love and miss my boy. He learned to carry himself with grace and dignity despite his struggles. He was an exceptional person.I feel so exhausted and sad. In the last couple of weeks we’ve dealt with police and coroner, funeral and memorial, collecting ashes and starting grief counselling. I suppose in writing this I’d like to hear from other people who wish to share their experiences.

Struggling to cope after losing my relationship

replies: 7

Hi everyone. I'm really struggling and hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.When I was 18, I was in an exclusive long-distance relationship. My partner and I hadn't met in person yet. Early in the relationship, I crossed... View more

Hi everyone. I'm really struggling and hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar.When I was 18, I was in an exclusive long-distance relationship. My partner and I hadn't met in person yet. Early in the relationship, I crossed relationship boundaries with someone else online. There was some flirting, I sent a couple of intimate photos, and it lasted for about a month from what I remember. I never met the other person in real life.After it ended, I lied to my partner because I was scared of losing him. I kept it from him for a long time. This year, I finally told him the truth because I couldn't live with hiding it anymore and wanted to be honest, even though I knew it could cost me the relationship.My partner considers what I did cheating, and I understand why he feels that way. I know I broke his trust and hurt him deeply. He told me he forgave me and that he sees me for who I am now, but he still chose to let the relationship go because he couldn't continue after what happened.I'm devastated and finding it really hard to cope. I miss him every day, feel overwhelmed with guilt, and lately I've just felt numb. I keep wondering if this mistake defines me forever or if people can genuinely grow from something like this.I'm not posting to excuse what I did. I take responsibility for my actions. I'm just hoping to hear from people who have been through something similar. Do you think what I did would be considered cheating even though we hadn't met in person yet? Has anyone been able to rebuild a relationship after something like this, or if not, how did you forgive yourself and move forward?This version is honest, includes the important context, takes responsibility, and asks for support without minimizing what happened.

Welcome to the Small Business Owners section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Small Business Owners section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide a space for small business owners a space to discuss the challenges that come with running a small business and connect with o... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Small Business Owners section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide a space for small business owners a space to discuss the challenges that come with running a small business and connect with others who understand. Please be mindful that anyone can read these discussions. Just like all other sections of the Forums, this space is completely anonymous. Any identifiable information, such as business name or exact location, will be edited or removed to preserve anonymity. This is not a space to promote your business, but a space for peer support and connection as you manage stress, worry, or feeling overwhelmed. Thank you for being here. Owning a small business can be tough, and we hope this can be a supportive space for you along the way. Kind regards Beyond Blue

Big mistakes

replies: 2

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on... View more

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on these apps without even realising the amounts I was spending. Fast forward to now I have been hit with 160k of tax bills from not knowing what to do or the implications of not being compliant. I have ATO threatening to close the business and potentially bankrupt me.I informed my wife of this and she was supportive and wanting to help find a way to refinance our house and get the debt under control. Since then she discovered my spending on the gaming apps and has completely shut down from me and is extremely angry saying she doesn’t know if we can continue after this debt is sorted. She doesn’t want to leave me because it would ruin our 12 year old son but is so angry that she doesn’t see a future. She says she needs space. I have deleted all games and am waiting on banks answer to refinance.I am completely broken, scared of losing everything, embarrassed that I let it get to this I feel alone with everything and could not live a life without my family. I don’t know what to do to save my family and myself

Small business pressure -How do I keep pushing through when I’m drained physically and mentally.

replies: 5

I took over a hair salon business when I was 24 years old I’m now 31.It started with myself, a close friend who was my business partner and 1 apprentice.i was the hairdresser my friend who I went into business was the Bookeeper.From day 1 it has not ... View more

I took over a hair salon business when I was 24 years old I’m now 31.It started with myself, a close friend who was my business partner and 1 apprentice.i was the hairdresser my friend who I went into business was the Bookeeper.From day 1 it has not stopped with the challenges. My business partner was constantly taking money out aswelll as putting it back, i regularly voiced my concerns and it took me 2 years to finally have enough of the financial strain she put on me. I was already operating the floor, hiring staff, training them, doing clientele, working 44 hours with little to no lunch breaks. I decided to call the accountant to work out a buy out figure to which he told me he hasn’t done the books since we started. Turned out the tax and super that was being paid was straight to her personal account and got spent. I was in court for 3 years disputing it. First year into court, covid hit. Now I was fighting to keep the businesss I worked so very hard for. With lockdowns of a total of 9 months over 2 years without funding was stressful to say the least. I recently decided to put my business up for sale as my mental health has completely deteriorated the last 2 years, I was constantly getting sick, trying to still work and manage 4 employees that iv had since they where apprentices. 2 months into it being advertised and 2 months out from Christmas 2 of my employees handed there resignation in not for any bad reason other than it was time for them to explore a new direction. I was happy for them personally but on a Business level it left me with one hell of situation. It took me 5 years in total to train them up to fall apart in 2 months right before the madness. I’m worried I can’t keep fighting through all these obstacles that come my way with so little energy as it is. I’m having panic attacks during work, I’m run off my feet and I’m working more hours to cover the clients who where booked in with the 2 girls who are no longer here. I’m exhausted mentally and physically and I feel trapt till I can sell it. I’m having manic crying episodes nearly every night after work dreading each day that comes. I’m starting to loose control of my emotions within work and can’t hold back them tears. I can’t take time off now being so close to Xmas with only 2 partimers left and one being an apprentice.financially iv ran at a loss the last 2 years and the pressures are suffocating me.Any advice on how to manage the pressure and self care with little time to do so?!

The boredom of the HSC process is making me depressed replies: 1

losing hope in myself to do well replies: 1

Burnout? replies: 3

Experimenting with gender causing problems with my partner replies: 1

Am I or am I not replies: 1

Help understanding transgender child replies: 2

Guilt about going home to another city while parent in hospital replies: 1

Racism on the media replies: 2

Job Search Blues replies: 3

Tough night replies: 0

My 23 year old son committed suicide replies: 9

Struggling to cope after losing my relationship replies: 7

Welcome to the Small Business Owners section replies: 0

Big mistakes replies: 2

Small business pressure -How do I keep pushing through when I’m drained physically and mentally. replies: 5