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Young people

A space for people aged 12-25 to discuss life. If you’re over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect.

Lyssaa Emotional dilemma
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone. I'm in a bit of an emotional dilemma right now regarding this guy that I'm friends with. We met about seven months ago last year at uni, and it was very obvious right from the get-go that we had feelings for each other. After a couple of... View more

Hi everyone. I'm in a bit of an emotional dilemma right now regarding this guy that I'm friends with. We met about seven months ago last year at uni, and it was very obvious right from the get-go that we had feelings for each other. After a couple of weeks we both told each other that we liked each other and we spent more time hanging out at uni together, lots of hugging and kissing, very romantic kinda stuff. However I started to get anxious because it felt like it wasn't really going anywhere beyond that or wasn't gonna turn into an actual relationship, so I asked him where he thought this was progressing and where it would go in the future. His response was that he was actually emotionally confused and in all honesty saw me as a friend, which came as a massive shock to both myself and my friends who had been around the two of us because of everything he'd said to me and the way he'd acted around me up until that point. For the rest of the uni semester I didn't talk to him, but when the four month break started I messaged him and asked if he still wanted to be friends, which he said yes to. Over the uni break we would text pretty much every day, but it made it difficult for me to actually work through my feelings and get over him, but spending time not seeing him in person was definitely beneficial and I was nearly over him. About four weeks ago, we went back to uni and now I have to see him twice a week in lectures. Most of the time he comes and sits with me. My issue used to be wondering if he ever even did have real feelings for me and wasn't just confused like he said, but even my counsellor who I see told me she believes he did have real romantic feelings for me. The issue now is that he's giving me mixed signals- he doesn't really talk to me much outside of uni at all, but in lectures when he sits with me he'll find lots of accidental ways to touch me and leans right up against me when he talks to me, like he's trying to grab my attention. I've also heard from some other girls I met at uni that he's not a super awesome person, but I don't want to probe about what happened between them because it's none of my concern. None of my friends are happy with the mixed signals he's giving me right now, and I'm torn because for the most part I'm over him, but being around him still hurts a little bit sometimes. Should I keep being casual friends with him, or should I cut him off?

shnl Should I move back to my old school?
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm a Year 9 student who's not too fond of my new schoolSo I recently moved to a private school that was about 30 minutes away by car. Meaning I would wake up really early in order to get ready for school, which was one reason I didn't like it.Th... View more

Hi, I'm a Year 9 student who's not too fond of my new schoolSo I recently moved to a private school that was about 30 minutes away by car. Meaning I would wake up really early in order to get ready for school, which was one reason I didn't like it.The second reason was that the school as it turns out was quite racist. I didn't fit in anywhere because a case came up recently where I was called the N-word. I, of course, reported it to the teachers and they gave punishment the student. But now almost everyone in my grade thinks I'm a snitch.The people I do hang out with are as bad because they vape and get into trouble multiple times a day, even trying to invite me into some of their shenanigans.The reason I joined the new school was that my old school had a terrible reputation and there were students in my class that didn't let me work. So when my parents decided on transferring me to a better school jumped at the opportunity.I complained to my mum about the new school to the point where she asked the office if we could switch campuses or get a refund on the schoolNote that this is a very expensive private school with two campusesSo they put on me on a waiting list to switch campuses and gave us a card if we wanted to get a refund.During this stage, she was sick of all my issues so she finally asked me if I wanted to go back to my old school, now that we could possibly get a refund.I didn't want to rush into a decision as I did with the new school so I thought it through with old friends. And as it turned out, the bad people in my old school class had been expelledI don't want to wait to switch campuses because I definitely won't get a spot in the other campus this year and I can't risk going through the same thing I did with this campus. It's safer if I just went back to my old school. It is very cheap, very close to my house, and I know I will be fine with friends because I was friends with almost everyone in my grade. And there are few really good teachers if I needed help with anythingThe reason I don't know if I should go back is that my dad and siblings are not on-board with me going back. They want me to learn to survive in this school and have a good education. But what's the point of a good education if you don't want to go to school every day?

Guest_236 overbooked, preoccupied, burnt out
  • replies: 1

Hi there, I hope you're all doing well and looking after yourselves  Just need a vent, but I welcome advice, and thank you in advance for the time you've given to reading this. I'm turning 20 this year. I work 2 great jobs, I study my passion at uni... View more

Hi there, I hope you're all doing well and looking after yourselves 🙂 Just need a vent, but I welcome advice, and thank you in advance for the time you've given to reading this. I'm turning 20 this year. I work 2 great jobs, I study my passion at uni, I have a little but wonderful social circle including my loving boyfriend, and I'm going on exchange to study in Japan next semester. I have a loving family however complex, I don't pay rent, I bought my own car, and I'm hopefully getting my Ps this week. I'm extremely grateful for all these things. The only thing I lack is time. But I am so exhausted and overworked. Between job 1, job 2, uni, working through the exchange process, preparing for practical placement for my education course, working towards my Ps, and maintaining all my friendships/relationship... A few days a week I wake up for work at 7am, work from 8:30 to 5, then go home to work my second job 6-8. By the time I eat dinner and shower, I am so tired and have no energy to do anything productive, such as my overflowing uni work that I simply cannot keep up with. I know the simple solutions is just "do less" – but I can't afford to. I can't work less hours because I have to fund my exchange, and everything else is simply mandatory. Another simple solution is to stay up later, but I feel like I've reached the age where I cannot physically or mentally function if I'm tired, so I can't help but go to sleep at my usual bedtime every night (11:30pm). It's gotten to a point where I'm just looking for escapes; skipping class to sleep, reading instead of studying, procrastinating with music or browsing or online shopping, always saying yes to social outings to get away from the constant grind, etc. I know people have it way worse than me, and I'm grateful for all these opportunities. The funny thing is, I've struggled with depression since my early teens, but for the first time I haven't felt depressed in a while despite how much I'm struggling. So there's that! I know this post is a big sob story about how privileged I am, but this isn't sustainable and I can't do it and I don't know what to do to fix this. I wish I could just float away to a little cabin in the woods, and read and paint and bake and write.

Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

Cate26 Hiding and masking
  • replies: 2

I feel as though I am constantly hiding myself from others. I am gay and am terrified of telling those around me. Some friends know I am bi and family have suspicions (cousin saw me on a dating app) however it’s not something I have been able voice. ... View more

I feel as though I am constantly hiding myself from others. I am gay and am terrified of telling those around me. Some friends know I am bi and family have suspicions (cousin saw me on a dating app) however it’s not something I have been able voice. I am in my 30s and don’t date. I mean I want to but the fear has been real for soo long i joke with friends about my lack of dating and mask my insecurities when jokes hurt I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy and don’t know how to change this thought process

TheDetectivePrince Introduction And Gender Identity Question
  • replies: 4

Hello, my name is Ake! I'm new to the forums. I wasn't sure where to post but I thought here might be a good place. I am bisexual and genderfluid. My pronouns are she/they/he. Please use them interchangeably, or default to they/them if you're unsure.... View more

Hello, my name is Ake! I'm new to the forums. I wasn't sure where to post but I thought here might be a good place. I am bisexual and genderfluid. My pronouns are she/they/he. Please use them interchangeably, or default to they/them if you're unsure. So I was wondering if anyone had any tips with looking more androgynous? I'm not sure how to explain it, but even though I do sometimes express myself in a stereotypical manner of my Assigned Gender At Birth, I hate how I look. I want to look androgynous, so I can easily fit into whatever gender I am a particular day. I have both masculine and feminine features (I am technically intersex but was assigned a specific binary gender) but I still don't feel like my appearance represents the real me. I'm not sure if that makes any sense, but basically how do I make my gender more ambiguous based on physical appearance? I can't wear long sleeves so things like jackets aren't an option and I'm not fully out yet so I wouldn't be able to do anything medical wise. I just want people to see me and not immediately assume I'm x gender. Thank you for reading 🙂 I would love to make friends with you all.

Miss_Anonymous Am I asexual?
  • replies: 2

Hey all, wondering if I might be asexual. Basically I never feel sexually attracted to anyone. When I’ve had sex with men I’ve enjoyed it, but there is always that lack of attraction to get over before we get to the act itself. But I do enjoy the act... View more

Hey all, wondering if I might be asexual. Basically I never feel sexually attracted to anyone. When I’ve had sex with men I’ve enjoyed it, but there is always that lack of attraction to get over before we get to the act itself. But I do enjoy the act itself. Four times in my life I have had what I call a girl crush, when I met an older woman who I felt was an amazing person, who I respected and admired, wanted to be like, wanted the approval of, wanted to spend time with etc. These happened more when I was younger (I am 40) but I do have one now. I don’t think they are sexual in nature - one might have gone that way if she had been interested (she wasn’t) but mostly it isn’t like that. I have only had one relationship with a guy, in my early 20s, where I compromised and went out with someone I kinda liked because I was sick of waiting for the fireworks everyone spoke about. Not sure I have ever really fallen in love before but the girl crushes can feel a bit like that because of the infatuation element. The one at the moment is less intense than the previous ones. Most of the time when I meet guys (or women for that matter) I don’t find them anything special and even if I can see they are objectively hot I am not attracted to them. I find plenty of people I’d like to be friends with but very few I feel anything stronger for. Please help, am I asexual, gay or just straight but haven’t met the right guy? thank you!

Multicultural experiences

Designed for members who were born overseas, have parents who were, speak a primary language that isn’t English or have mixed cultural heritage.

Samadhi-Enjoyer Moving countries because of cultural differences; is it worth it?
  • replies: 4

So I've grown up in Tasmania as a mixed race European (Eastern-European/South-East Asian) and disregarding colour differences, I feel a sense of disconnection from my current culture. I tried my best to be 'True-Blue' in order to find belonging but t... View more

So I've grown up in Tasmania as a mixed race European (Eastern-European/South-East Asian) and disregarding colour differences, I feel a sense of disconnection from my current culture. I tried my best to be 'True-Blue' in order to find belonging but the more I dive deep into my personality and what I liked/disliked, I came to the conclusion that I don't belong amongst Australians. Of course, I'm under no incentive to perfectly fit a mold, yet I find myself thinking I can fit a little better in a different culture. I find myself quite rigid and rule-focused and have always disliked disorder and imprecision in daily life (ambiguous waiting lines drive me crazy), which is highly contrary to the laidback 'she'll be right mate' culture I'm surrounded by. I feel that if I even slightly give off the impression that I'm "better" (just different, not better) than them (i.e. pursuing higher education, going to museums, etc.) I'm 'un-Australian'. You can disagree with me about your impressions of the culture but these have been mine. I fully understand becoming an expat comes with many challenges and I'm confident enough to say I will gladly endure them. This isn't the only reason why I want to move, but I'll say it's a big one. But is doing so in order to find the right cultural "fit" a silly endeavor?

Aj04 Dating as an Indian man
  • replies: 1

For some context, I am a 19-year-old man of Indian Origin, and I moved to Australia when I was three, so I'm pretty much an aussie. My experience with women has been non-existent. I'm still a virgin, I haven't even kissed anybody. I have many female ... View more

For some context, I am a 19-year-old man of Indian Origin, and I moved to Australia when I was three, so I'm pretty much an aussie. My experience with women has been non-existent. I'm still a virgin, I haven't even kissed anybody. I have many female friends, but I only see them as friends, so it proves that I can talk to women. I don't trust these thoughts in my head, but I feel like in the back of my mind, very few women want to date an indian guy. I am well aware of the negative stereotypes associated with indian men. The fact that we're labelled as creeps. Even my own sister said that she would never date an indian guy, and that makes me feel even worse. I am a pretty short guy too (around 5 foot 4) so it could be this, but there are girls a lot shorter than me who still wouldnt see me as dating potential. I just feel like women look at me and immediately think "creep". I am also quite dark for an indian guy, and colourism is quite prevalent in indian culture, so I feel like a lot of indian chicks wouldnt date me either. I just feel lonely and lost and I feel ashamed that I still haven't dated at all.

tmas Exploring mixed heritage
  • replies: 8

Not sure what I'll get from this, but maybe anyone who could relate? I want to know the experiences of people who are mixed but were raised with only the white side of their family. I am at a point where I am curious about my heritage and background,... View more

Not sure what I'll get from this, but maybe anyone who could relate? I want to know the experiences of people who are mixed but were raised with only the white side of their family. I am at a point where I am curious about my heritage and background, but feel 1) like an imposter, and 2) like it would hurt the family that raised me. I know my family, being white Australians, don't see "why it matters" that I know, but to not know what my background was until I was 17 while the world around me hid nothing of their guesses and assumptions, weighed on me for several years. My sibling (raised with them, it was assumed I knew we were half but my childish naiveté didn't pick up on it until high school despite being visibly different ethnicities) told me how a peer at university approached them to join the students-of-colour board, and this was the first time it struck them the rest of the world didn't perceive them as white. I wish I knew the language, but I could never learn the correct dialect. I feel I have no claim to the history, I have no right to call myself the grandchild of immigrants when I didn't know this fact until I was 18. How could I make contact with extended family when I have no cultural connection to them? I don't have access to medical history. I was (sometimes still instinctually am) insecure about my appearance, and have to check myself - when I instinctually resent my nose shape or my flat eyelashes, or dark hair, I have to remind myself that I am comparing myself to an anglo standard that I always felt I was failing before I realised I was mixed. When strangers asked me if I was [insert background/nationality], or saw my birth name and called me exotic, or told me that "blood is blood" and I should be "proud of my sexy Latina background", accused me of fake tanning every summer because I turned yellow instead of pink, said I wasn't "fiery/curvy" enough to be Latina, assumed my sibling was a baby-sitter, said I was "choosing to be white" so had no right to talk about race, how am I supposed to feel? Embracing the culture feels wrong, I can't fight the feeling that I would be spiting my family given the complicated family situation. I also don't want to know the parent themselves, maybe my extended family - also complicated and not for right now. Would learning Spanish be over stepping?

Grief and loss

Support and advice following the loss of a family member, partner, spouse or someone close to you.

PrincessE Losing my beloved Princess
  • replies: 3

I don’t know how to cope with this grief. I am in the process of losing my beloved Princess (Golden Retriever) she is 15 years of age and I have had her since she was 8 weeks oldShe is the love of my life and my only support and companionShe has love... View more

I don’t know how to cope with this grief. I am in the process of losing my beloved Princess (Golden Retriever) she is 15 years of age and I have had her since she was 8 weeks oldShe is the love of my life and my only support and companionShe has loved me unconditionally for 15 years and been my loyal love i don’t know how I can go on without her, I cannot stop crying and worrying, I feel sickMy life will not be worth living without my baby, I have lived my life for heri would love to hear from anyone that has experienced this lossi am probably going to have to make a decision to put her to sleep which I cannot do, it will kill me I am heartbroken and cannot go on i don’t know how to cope and feel like I am going to die without her

Selgae Losing a parent from Stage 4 lung cancer
  • replies: 3

Dad’s became legally blind at mid age. He was devastated due to loss of mobility as a consequence. Then diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at 86 that has spread to the left leg bones causing agonising pain that has left him unable to walk. Just 3 mon... View more

Dad’s became legally blind at mid age. He was devastated due to loss of mobility as a consequence. Then diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer at 86 that has spread to the left leg bones causing agonising pain that has left him unable to walk. Just 3 months after being diagnosed with cancer he’s had a stroke that left him with his left body paralysed. Hard to see a gentleman suffer with discomfort, pain, anxiety and depression for almost half his lifetime. It is affecting all members of the family including grandchildren due to his illness. Breaks my heart to hear him say “im tired”. Left me with anger and denial and embarrassment. Tried to show my family I’m fine when deep inside im not. I guess this is one way of getting it off my chest.

Sunflower23 The loss of companionship
  • replies: 3

I’m grieving the loss of companionship, after my long term relationship ended. I miss having someone to talk to about daily life things and having that someone in your corner, who wants to support you, be there for you and love you unconditionally.

I’m grieving the loss of companionship, after my long term relationship ended. I miss having someone to talk to about daily life things and having that someone in your corner, who wants to support you, be there for you and love you unconditionally.