People like me

I hate being a p plater

replies: 1

Exactly what the title says. I understand it won't be forever, and in fact, I only have 13 months left. However, right now, I'm genuinely really struggling with my p plates. I wish I could take them off, but I can't risk a penalty for doing so. My lo... View more

Exactly what the title says. I understand it won't be forever, and in fact, I only have 13 months left. However, right now, I'm genuinely really struggling with my p plates. I wish I could take them off, but I can't risk a penalty for doing so. My logical brain is saying keeping them on is the right path to avoid a penalty, but my illogical brain is telling me to take them off to allow me to blend in and simply live. I want to use my phone. I genuinely want to. There are times when the GPS just doesn't work (ie can't get me to a certain place on time, if at all), and when that happens, it's really, really tough. I want to choose my own music and not listen to radio music. While the USB method works fine for me, the cost of downloading music from iTunes adds up fast. I feel the ban on intermediaries like CarPlay is nothing but a display of bureaucratic laziness; creating a blanket ban allows for easier enforcement than creating nuance.

Porn Addiction Help

replies: 2

I’ve been struggling with porn addiction last few days as I have been watching porn for hours and can’t stop thinking about porn and took a while to stop. Please help me.

tired, directionless, overwhelmed and unsatisfied

replies: 1

Hey 18 m. For the past couple years I've slowly felt like I was slipping away from myself and now everyday feels like im watching someone and being someone else rather than myself. In highschool i used to play sports and do 3 extra curricular activit... View more

Hey 18 m. For the past couple years I've slowly felt like I was slipping away from myself and now everyday feels like im watching someone and being someone else rather than myself. In highschool i used to play sports and do 3 extra curricular activities and still get almost straight As while having time to go out with family and enjoy, in college i dropped sports and 2 of the extra curriculurs and the third transitioned into more of a teaching role. At the time dropping the sports and extra curriculars felt good cause it was less to do and i thought I'd have moe free time but now it feels like i lost that talent and skill and wish i could get it back but now i feel like i have no time. In college i used to hand every assignment in late and my grades dropped to Cs abd Ds with a couple of Bs here and there and i never did my work, i used to catch the bus and walk around my city and did tons of hikes which was my sort of escape but id always talk to myself in my head these long conversations about who i was and what i was doing and i could never get out of these thought cycles that drove me crazy. Luckily i pulled through with a good final score for my atar but because i wasn't expecting it i didn't aim high with my uni and feel like i chose wrong and went for the 'worse' uni i guess rather than the better one but i convinced myself it was too much effort to switch and that i actually wanted to go to the 'worse' uni so i stuck to it but i always wished i had applied myself a bit more with my studies. I never knew what i wanted to study so i randomly chose a 4 year engineering degree because it was what i was mildly interested in and i do the work and its fine but nothing that makes me feel like i love it, my parents came education and i know its importance soil i dont really want to just stop without knowing what im doing. Once i started working, between work, my university and that teaching role i have i feel exhausted. Everyone wants me to give them more time and put in more effort but im already stretched thin, i collapse every night by 9 pm i can barely function and i get up by 6:30 to get ready for the day. The days fly past now and it feels like im watching someone live my life rather than being present, i wish i had such to my sports because i never get time for myself including the gym. I lie to my parents about uni, i lie to uni and my jobs about being sick just to get one afternoon to drive out superuser in my city and relax for a couple hours because i know if i tell the truth my parents will say to cut down on work but i have to work and how it affects my uni but i don't want to really stop anything, i value my education and know that i can transition and still use it for something or another in the end, i need to work for money, my teaching role is thr most fulfilling thing i do but recent work drama has made me start to reevaluate my position there and my parents deserve my time too more than anyone but now theres nothing left for me and idk how much longer I can keep this up.

Trying to find a relationship when getting old with health problems

replies: 1

I've identified as Asexual and gender fluid for years now but my last relationship didn't end well. It's been over 5 years now and I want to find something real and lasting and I'm terrified I will be taken advantage of again or my health problems wi... View more

I've identified as Asexual and gender fluid for years now but my last relationship didn't end well. It's been over 5 years now and I want to find something real and lasting and I'm terrified I will be taken advantage of again or my health problems will be an extra barrier.I'm getting old, losing teeth, need a mobility scooter to get around.

Have feelings for a good friend but her family are conservative Catholic

replies: 1

It's riggybee (F), I really like this one girl in my class, but we are pretty good friends and I don't really want to mess with that. She's gay and I'm pretty sure I am too and Ive spoken to her about it before, but never really explicitly come out t... View more

It's riggybee (F), I really like this one girl in my class, but we are pretty good friends and I don't really want to mess with that. She's gay and I'm pretty sure I am too and Ive spoken to her about it before, but never really explicitly come out to anyone cause that doesn't really feel right at the moment. Last year, she told some of her friends about this and I kind of got mad because it wasn't really something I was wanting to share with anyone else. After that things were kind of weird but I decided that I still really want to be friends so I think we've moved on really well now! I've had a massive crush on her since year 10 and I'm pretty sure she liked me too, but we haven't really done too much about it. Texting her mostly kind of feels like flirting and I'm always really happy to see her but when she's gone I just feel anxious about the whole thing. I kind of want to tell her how I feel but don't want to ruin our friendship cause it was hard to rebuild. Also her family are super conservative Catholics, and I think there was some kind of issue with her parents being concerned about her being 'influenced' when she was in early high school, but I don't know the whole story. Sometimes I felt this could be why she kind of holds back a bit? I spoke to one of my friends and she believes this girl I like is just concerned about damaging things again too. With HSC in a few weeks, I'm not sure if now is the right time to test things out and I feel like I'm overthinking it all so I analyse all of our interactions to see if she feels the same way. Would be good to hear someone else's thoughts and advice 🙂

Lost/confused

replies: 3

Hi all, I’ve been married for over 30yrs to a great lady. We have 3 adult children. I’ve always thought deep down that I have attractions to men. I’ve had several encounters and affairs throughout my marriage and have just told my wife everything, al... View more

Hi all, I’ve been married for over 30yrs to a great lady. We have 3 adult children. I’ve always thought deep down that I have attractions to men. I’ve had several encounters and affairs throughout my marriage and have just told my wife everything, all cards on the table. I informed my kids that I think I am bi/gay and they have been very supportive about it, showing no judgment, just a bit of shock I guess. My wife is struggling to understand and accept this, and refusing to let me go or leave the marriage, occasionally saying that now that I’ve ruined her life she will ruin the rest of mine by denying me separation or divorce. She won’t allow me to tell any of our/her friends due to the embarrassment this will cause her.I have massive guilt/anxiety/depression because of this and have constant thoughts of self harm/suicide. She says this is a cowardly thing to do to my family and dismisses me when I talk about it. Now we just constantly argue over the whole topic/situation, which just heightens my wanting to end it. I struggle with the thought of going on like this but don’t feel I can just walk away, scared of the thought of losing my kids. I’ve contacted Lifeline and Beyond Blue several times over the last few months, even ended up in the psych ward in hospital wanting to end it. I’ve had numerous appointments with psychiatrists and psychologists but this has not been helpful so far. Would be greatful for any advice moving forward, if that’s even possible?! Currently at rock bottom!!

Not sure how to process infromation

replies: 1

So I recently had a lady come to my school to talk about respectful relationships. She talked about topics like consent, Sexual Harassment, Friendships, pornography, etc. While listening, I realised alot of the things she was defining related to thin... View more

So I recently had a lady come to my school to talk about respectful relationships. She talked about topics like consent, Sexual Harassment, Friendships, pornography, etc. While listening, I realised alot of the things she was defining related to things that had happened to me in the past that I hadn't realised were not normal. One of these was being pointed at and told I looked like an [my ethnicity] version of a famous pornographer. She had an anonymous questions section at the end that you could do, and so I wrote about one of the incidents I was questioning and said that I was confused about whether it was a compliment or an insult or Sexual Harassment or objectification. She did end up answering the question and said it was in fact not something of a compliment and instead was both objectification and Sexual Harassment. Im not sure what to do with the information, i've got mixed feelings form the answer, i feel disgusted and horrible but at the same time it was a few months ago now and ive got this final clarity of what it really was and i'm not completely sure how to process the information. It feels like on one side im making this bigger in my head than it really is but at the same time, my morals tell me that by making these things seem small it's allowing people to do these kinds of things in the first place.

Guilt about going home to another city while parent in hospital

replies: 1

My father had a stroke two weeks ago and I have been going to hospital every day since, taking my mum along (a one hour drive wa h way) and advocating for my dad”s health and treatment. He’s doing better now and waiting to go to regab, but is quite w... View more

My father had a stroke two weeks ago and I have been going to hospital every day since, taking my mum along (a one hour drive wa h way) and advocating for my dad”s health and treatment. He’s doing better now and waiting to go to regab, but is quite weak after being in bed for 2 weeks. He’s 88 years old and I’ve been helping keep his spirits up and doing exercises with him to help keep some muscle tone. I don’t know when a rehab bed will become available for him, but I’m feeling exhausted and I’d like to go home for a few weeks. However, I’m feeling terribly guilty about it, and if he declines without such regular visits to boost his morale, I know the guilt is going to consume me. How do other people cope with the guilt of beng away and potentially having a good time with others when an aged parent is unwell or declining?

Racism on the media

replies: 2

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to b... View more

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to be a "human" and get through life

a depressing start to september

replies: 2

father's day makes my dad's passing more depressing, even though i dont really so much on it on social media so far today i just feel a sense of emptiness. i miss being young. i miss not having health issues. i miss being happy

Sad

replies: 3

WHi All. I lost my dad to suicide 16 years ago, my step dad of 24 years to suicide 18mthd ago, my father in law 4 days after that, my marriage and now in a relationship that i am struggling with. I am so lost

Learning to Grieve What I’ve Lost While Moving Forward

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I’m new to the platform and thought I’d share something I’ve been wondering if other people have experienced or are still dealing with too. There are so, so many things in my life that I am incredibly grateful for, both things I’ve been ... View more

Hi everyone, I’m new to the platform and thought I’d share something I’ve been wondering if other people have experienced or are still dealing with too. There are so, so many things in my life that I am incredibly grateful for, both things I’ve been able to experience and things I have now. At the same time, though, there has also been so much grief and loss across many different areas of my life. I’m now 21 and trying to come to terms with how painful some of those experiences have been, while also dealing with the comparison struggles that can come with thinking about other people my age. I find that this can affect my sense of self-worth and identity, but there is also just the grief of everything I’ve lost and the things that are now gone. Sometimes it feels like I’m carrying several different kinds of pain at once, the pain of how difficult things were, the grief of what I lost and what I wish I could have had, and then the comparison of where I am versus where other people my age seem to be. All of those things together can feel really overwhelming. I’ve also been trying to work through some of the past hurts that were almost traumatic for me, particularly around close people not understanding what I was going through at the time and how deeply that impacted me. I’m trying to work through that huge past hurt of feeling alone and how terrible that was and how I still go through that sometimes now, while also understanding what those people have since explained to me, that they genuinely meant well and that there were things they misunderstood at the time or has a limited capacity/their own life happening. I think sometimes it feels like a wound that has been dug deeper, and even though things can be different now, it still takes time to heal from what happened and how it made me feel. I guess at the end of the day, I know that the people who love you can care about you as much as they possibly can and show that care in their own ways, while still not fully understanding what your experience has truly been like. You are the only person who has actually lived through everything you have lived through, and sometimes there can still be a sense of pain and loneliness even when the people around you are genuinely trying their best. I want to make it clear that my family has never been abusive and that they have tried to care for me as best they can. I know they don’t mean to cause harm, and nobody is perfect, everyone has their own struggles, circumstances and life experiences too. I can understand all of that while also acknowledging that some things were still really painful for me and how that has impacted me now to this day. Hopefully that makes sense. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, or is still trying to cope with something similar. And hopefully, if anyone does relate to this, you know that you’re not alone and that your feelings are valid too. 🤍 Thanks 🙂

Welcome to the Small Business Owners section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Small Business Owners section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide a space for small business owners a space to discuss the challenges that come with running a small business and connect with o... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Small Business Owners section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide a space for small business owners a space to discuss the challenges that come with running a small business and connect with others who understand. Please be mindful that anyone can read these discussions. Just like all other sections of the Forums, this space is completely anonymous. Any identifiable information, such as business name or exact location, will be edited or removed to preserve anonymity. This is not a space to promote your business, but a space for peer support and connection as you manage stress, worry, or feeling overwhelmed. Thank you for being here. Owning a small business can be tough, and we hope this can be a supportive space for you along the way. Kind regards Beyond Blue

Big mistakes

replies: 2

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on... View more

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on these apps without even realising the amounts I was spending. Fast forward to now I have been hit with 160k of tax bills from not knowing what to do or the implications of not being compliant. I have ATO threatening to close the business and potentially bankrupt me.I informed my wife of this and she was supportive and wanting to help find a way to refinance our house and get the debt under control. Since then she discovered my spending on the gaming apps and has completely shut down from me and is extremely angry saying she doesn’t know if we can continue after this debt is sorted. She doesn’t want to leave me because it would ruin our 12 year old son but is so angry that she doesn’t see a future. She says she needs space. I have deleted all games and am waiting on banks answer to refinance.I am completely broken, scared of losing everything, embarrassed that I let it get to this I feel alone with everything and could not live a life without my family. I don’t know what to do to save my family and myself

Small business pressure -How do I keep pushing through when I’m drained physically and mentally.

replies: 5

I took over a hair salon business when I was 24 years old I’m now 31.It started with myself, a close friend who was my business partner and 1 apprentice.i was the hairdresser my friend who I went into business was the Bookeeper.From day 1 it has not ... View more

I took over a hair salon business when I was 24 years old I’m now 31.It started with myself, a close friend who was my business partner and 1 apprentice.i was the hairdresser my friend who I went into business was the Bookeeper.From day 1 it has not stopped with the challenges. My business partner was constantly taking money out aswelll as putting it back, i regularly voiced my concerns and it took me 2 years to finally have enough of the financial strain she put on me. I was already operating the floor, hiring staff, training them, doing clientele, working 44 hours with little to no lunch breaks. I decided to call the accountant to work out a buy out figure to which he told me he hasn’t done the books since we started. Turned out the tax and super that was being paid was straight to her personal account and got spent. I was in court for 3 years disputing it. First year into court, covid hit. Now I was fighting to keep the businesss I worked so very hard for. With lockdowns of a total of 9 months over 2 years without funding was stressful to say the least. I recently decided to put my business up for sale as my mental health has completely deteriorated the last 2 years, I was constantly getting sick, trying to still work and manage 4 employees that iv had since they where apprentices. 2 months into it being advertised and 2 months out from Christmas 2 of my employees handed there resignation in not for any bad reason other than it was time for them to explore a new direction. I was happy for them personally but on a Business level it left me with one hell of situation. It took me 5 years in total to train them up to fall apart in 2 months right before the madness. I’m worried I can’t keep fighting through all these obstacles that come my way with so little energy as it is. I’m having panic attacks during work, I’m run off my feet and I’m working more hours to cover the clients who where booked in with the 2 girls who are no longer here. I’m exhausted mentally and physically and I feel trapt till I can sell it. I’m having manic crying episodes nearly every night after work dreading each day that comes. I’m starting to loose control of my emotions within work and can’t hold back them tears. I can’t take time off now being so close to Xmas with only 2 partimers left and one being an apprentice.financially iv ran at a loss the last 2 years and the pressures are suffocating me.Any advice on how to manage the pressure and self care with little time to do so?!

I hate being a p plater replies: 1

Porn Addiction Help replies: 2

tired, directionless, overwhelmed and unsatisfied replies: 1

Trying to find a relationship when getting old with health problems replies: 1

Have feelings for a good friend but her family are conservative Catholic replies: 1

Lost/confused replies: 3

Not sure how to process infromation replies: 1

Guilt about going home to another city while parent in hospital replies: 1

Racism on the media replies: 2

a depressing start to september replies: 2

Sad replies: 3

Learning to Grieve What I’ve Lost While Moving Forward replies: 2

Welcome to the Small Business Owners section replies: 0

Big mistakes replies: 2

Small business pressure -How do I keep pushing through when I’m drained physically and mentally. replies: 5