People like me

Loneliness & Burn out - losing friends in your 20s

replies: 6

Hi there, My name is Mad, This is my first time on the forums, and I am a 20yo woman struggling with overthinking and feelings of loneliness and depression. I feel lost, lonely and depressed and I am not sure where to go from here. I have lost all pa... View more

Hi there, My name is Mad, This is my first time on the forums, and I am a 20yo woman struggling with overthinking and feelings of loneliness and depression. I feel lost, lonely and depressed and I am not sure where to go from here. I have lost all passion and have no friends my age anymore. I graduated high school in 2023 with no plans of going to uni as I was unsure what I wanted to pursue and did not want to spend years and thousands of dollars on an education I may not use. I went straight into the workforce from age 18 starting as a sales rep, then a customer service officer and then worked for my local council in the regulatory field. I felt like I finally found a place that I belonged and was able to make a difference, then things started to go downhill. I ended a relationship with my partner of 2.5 years, after enduring emotional and sexual abuse, however I felt as though I should've stayed because he was familiar and a 'safe' person. My really supportive boss left and her replacement was very rude and undermining and made me feel insignificant and worthless. Which lead to me leaving the job that I was very passionate about and gave me purpose.One of my best friends randomly ghosted me after we had made plans to go to the races together. Later I realised that she had removed/ blocked me on numerous social media platforms and I am left wondering why? what did I do wrong? I moved away for a job opportunity, however learnt that I was not passionate about this line of work and over time my co-worker started making jabs and comments at me and eventually my bosses were joining in and I felt as though I was being bullied in the workplace. My best friend of 8 years had gone through a traumatic break up and I was with her and supporting her as much as I physically and mentally was able to and I got to see her spark come back, but shortly after I saw her beginning to take stimulants and hallucinogens. I expressed my concern to her about the drug use but she brushed me off. She then became very distant until she no longer speaks to me. My grandfather passed away and it was a very emotional and draining time for my entire family and I felt like I had no support system and I have not had the capacity to properly grieve this. I have lost my passion, my motivation and my friends. I feel like I have no one left and I am unsure of how to make new friends and get my passion back. Sometimes I question if I even know who I am anymore.

Anger and frustration

replies: 2

Hi guysim a 21 year old studying at uni. I moved out of home from regional vic at 18 to move to Melbourne to study. I have recently had issue (past 3-5 months) of just being constantly angry. I struggle with chronic treatment resistant eczema and I f... View more

Hi guysim a 21 year old studying at uni. I moved out of home from regional vic at 18 to move to Melbourne to study. I have recently had issue (past 3-5 months) of just being constantly angry. I struggle with chronic treatment resistant eczema and I first noticed I was getting increasingly angry when I would have outbursts at friends for suggesting a treatment option or something they’d seen online they thought could help with my skin.my mother has Huntingtons disease and a few members of my close family do too. I’ve known about this since I was a kid so I don’t think it should be affecting me mentally as I’m not too close with my mother due to her own anger issues I’ve had to deal with growing up. I had issues with her throwing things and screaming up until I moved out and last time I went home I was recently out of a break up where I was cheated on and my mother and I got into a random arguement about my hair (I’m not even sure why) but she ended up yelling at me calling me a selfish b!tch and told me to drive home. (It’s a 4 hour drive to my place). im a completely independent person meaning I pay rent, bills, for my car, food etc etc all on my own while I study so I constantly have the stress of that and because my lease is ending and my housemate is moving out I’m scared I have nowhere to go at the end of the year as I don’t have the money to pay a new deposit and first month of rent (for the houses I can afford this will end up being 3-4k). I used to live in a share house but I felt very isolated and felt like I couldn’t even use the bathroom in the place I lived in and am not willing to do that again.does anybody know anything that can help me relieve stress? Or even manage my anger? Im becoming really bad at focusing aswell with my uni work, and im so close to being done (end of the year I finish) so I really can’t afford to stuff it up now. I feel like im letting all my friends down with my outbursts of yelling and insulting them. But when im upset and angry I can’t think about what im actually doing.help please

Uni Stress

replies: 2

I’ve noticed a lot of posts lately about uni stress, exams, burnout, and feeling unsure about why we are even at uni in the first place. I just wanted to share some advice I received recently, in case it helps someone else.I spoke with a very accompl... View more

I’ve noticed a lot of posts lately about uni stress, exams, burnout, and feeling unsure about why we are even at uni in the first place. I just wanted to share some advice I received recently, in case it helps someone else.I spoke with a very accomplished and established psychologist who has experience across podcasts, research, publications, and clinical work, and one thing she really highlighted was the importance of journalling. At first, journalling can sound a bit simple or cliché, but she explained that it can actually be a really useful way to slow your thoughts down and process what you are feeling, especially when everything feels overwhelming.When we are stressed, it is easy for thoughts to pile up in our heads and feel bigger than they actually are. Writing them down can help make those thoughts feel more organised and less intense. It can also help you notice patterns, like what is triggering your stress, what you are avoiding, or what you actually need support with.Journalling does not have to be aesthetic, perfectly written, or something you do every single day. It can be as simple as writing a few sentences about how you are feeling, what is worrying you, what you are grateful for, or what one small thing is that you can do today. Sometimes even writing “I feel overwhelmed and I don’t know where to start” is enough to create a bit of space between you and the stress.Something I found helpful from the conversation was the idea that journalling is not about solving everything immediately. It is more about checking in with yourself and giving your mind somewhere to put all the pressure, instead of carrying it around constantly.So if you are feeling stressed, unmotivated, or unsure about uni right now, maybe try writing things down, even just for five minutes. You might be surprised by how much clearer things feel once they are out of your head and on paper.You are definitely not the only one feeling this way, and sometimes the smallest habits can make things feel a little more manageable.

Have feelings for a good friend but her family are conservative Catholic

replies: 1

It's riggybee (F), I really like this one girl in my class, but we are pretty good friends and I don't really want to mess with that. She's gay and I'm pretty sure I am too and Ive spoken to her about it before, but never really explicitly come out t... View more

It's riggybee (F), I really like this one girl in my class, but we are pretty good friends and I don't really want to mess with that. She's gay and I'm pretty sure I am too and Ive spoken to her about it before, but never really explicitly come out to anyone cause that doesn't really feel right at the moment. Last year, she told some of her friends about this and I kind of got mad because it wasn't really something I was wanting to share with anyone else. After that things were kind of weird but I decided that I still really want to be friends so I think we've moved on really well now! I've had a massive crush on her since year 10 and I'm pretty sure she liked me too, but we haven't really done too much about it. Texting her mostly kind of feels like flirting and I'm always really happy to see her but when she's gone I just feel anxious about the whole thing. I kind of want to tell her how I feel but don't want to ruin our friendship cause it was hard to rebuild. Also her family are super conservative Catholics, and I think there was some kind of issue with her parents being concerned about her being 'influenced' when she was in early high school, but I don't know the whole story. Sometimes I felt this could be why she kind of holds back a bit? I spoke to one of my friends and she believes this girl I like is just concerned about damaging things again too. With HSC in a few weeks, I'm not sure if now is the right time to test things out and I feel like I'm overthinking it all so I analyse all of our interactions to see if she feels the same way. Would be good to hear someone else's thoughts and advice 🙂

Lost/confused

replies: 3

Hi all, I’ve been married for over 30yrs to a great lady. We have 3 adult children. I’ve always thought deep down that I have attractions to men. I’ve had several encounters and affairs throughout my marriage and have just told my wife everything, al... View more

Hi all, I’ve been married for over 30yrs to a great lady. We have 3 adult children. I’ve always thought deep down that I have attractions to men. I’ve had several encounters and affairs throughout my marriage and have just told my wife everything, all cards on the table. I informed my kids that I think I am bi/gay and they have been very supportive about it, showing no judgment, just a bit of shock I guess. My wife is struggling to understand and accept this, and refusing to let me go or leave the marriage, occasionally saying that now that I’ve ruined her life she will ruin the rest of mine by denying me separation or divorce. She won’t allow me to tell any of our/her friends due to the embarrassment this will cause her.I have massive guilt/anxiety/depression because of this and have constant thoughts of self harm/suicide. She says this is a cowardly thing to do to my family and dismisses me when I talk about it. Now we just constantly argue over the whole topic/situation, which just heightens my wanting to end it. I struggle with the thought of going on like this but don’t feel I can just walk away, scared of the thought of losing my kids. I’ve contacted Lifeline and Beyond Blue several times over the last few months, even ended up in the psych ward in hospital wanting to end it. I’ve had numerous appointments with psychiatrists and psychologists but this has not been helpful so far. Would be greatful for any advice moving forward, if that’s even possible?! Currently at rock bottom!!

Gender identity Confusion

replies: 1

Well I'm Alex and I am a Paranoid Schizophrenic. And I have what they call Disasosiated identity Disorder. It's what they use to call multiple personality Disorder. I have been diagnosed with 57 personality's. Some male and some female and I switch b... View more

Well I'm Alex and I am a Paranoid Schizophrenic. And I have what they call Disasosiated identity Disorder. It's what they use to call multiple personality Disorder. I have been diagnosed with 57 personality's. Some male and some female and I switch between they on a daily basis. I was confused about my gender identity. I didn't know who I was for most of my life. I lived as a woman for 3 year's . Trying to figure it out. Eventually the two strongest personality's now have control Alex "Me" and Alice the other one. Now I live as a man because it just feels right. It's okay relax eventually you will figure it out. Peace Love And Light Regards Alex

Not sure how to process infromation

replies: 1

So I recently had a lady come to my school to talk about respectful relationships. She talked about topics like consent, Sexual Harassment, Friendships, pornography, etc. While listening, I realised alot of the things she was defining related to thin... View more

So I recently had a lady come to my school to talk about respectful relationships. She talked about topics like consent, Sexual Harassment, Friendships, pornography, etc. While listening, I realised alot of the things she was defining related to things that had happened to me in the past that I hadn't realised were not normal. One of these was being pointed at and told I looked like an [my ethnicity] version of a famous pornographer. She had an anonymous questions section at the end that you could do, and so I wrote about one of the incidents I was questioning and said that I was confused about whether it was a compliment or an insult or Sexual Harassment or objectification. She did end up answering the question and said it was in fact not something of a compliment and instead was both objectification and Sexual Harassment. Im not sure what to do with the information, i've got mixed feelings form the answer, i feel disgusted and horrible but at the same time it was a few months ago now and ive got this final clarity of what it really was and i'm not completely sure how to process the information. It feels like on one side im making this bigger in my head than it really is but at the same time, my morals tell me that by making these things seem small it's allowing people to do these kinds of things in the first place.

Guilt about going home to another city while parent in hospital

replies: 1

My father had a stroke two weeks ago and I have been going to hospital every day since, taking my mum along (a one hour drive wa h way) and advocating for my dad”s health and treatment. He’s doing better now and waiting to go to regab, but is quite w... View more

My father had a stroke two weeks ago and I have been going to hospital every day since, taking my mum along (a one hour drive wa h way) and advocating for my dad”s health and treatment. He’s doing better now and waiting to go to regab, but is quite weak after being in bed for 2 weeks. He’s 88 years old and I’ve been helping keep his spirits up and doing exercises with him to help keep some muscle tone. I don’t know when a rehab bed will become available for him, but I’m feeling exhausted and I’d like to go home for a few weeks. However, I’m feeling terribly guilty about it, and if he declines without such regular visits to boost his morale, I know the guilt is going to consume me. How do other people cope with the guilt of beng away and potentially having a good time with others when an aged parent is unwell or declining?

Racism on the media

replies: 2

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to b... View more

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to be a "human" and get through life

Sad

replies: 2

WHi All. I lost my dad to suicide 16 years ago, my step dad of 24 years to suicide 18mthd ago, my father in law 4 days after that, my marriage and now in a relationship that i am struggling with. I am so lost

Learning to Grieve What I’ve Lost While Moving Forward

replies: 1

Hi everyone, I’m new to the platform and thought I’d share something I’ve been wondering if other people have experienced or are still dealing with too. There are so, so many things in my life that I am incredibly grateful for, both things I’ve been ... View more

Hi everyone, I’m new to the platform and thought I’d share something I’ve been wondering if other people have experienced or are still dealing with too. There are so, so many things in my life that I am incredibly grateful for, both things I’ve been able to experience and things I have now. At the same time, though, there has also been so much grief and loss across many different areas of my life. I’m now 21 and trying to come to terms with how painful some of those experiences have been, while also dealing with the comparison struggles that can come with thinking about other people my age. I find that this can affect my sense of self-worth and identity, but there is also just the grief of everything I’ve lost and the things that are now gone. Sometimes it feels like I’m carrying several different kinds of pain at once, the pain of how difficult things were, the grief of what I lost and what I wish I could have had, and then the comparison of where I am versus where other people my age seem to be. All of those things together can feel really overwhelming. I’ve also been trying to work through some of the past hurts that were almost traumatic for me, particularly around close people not understanding what I was going through at the time and how deeply that impacted me. I’m trying to work through that huge past hurt of feeling alone and how terrible that was and how I still go through that sometimes now, while also understanding what those people have since explained to me, that they genuinely meant well and that there were things they misunderstood at the time or has a limited capacity/their own life happening. I think sometimes it feels like a wound that has been dug deeper, and even though things can be different now, it still takes time to heal from what happened and how it made me feel. I guess at the end of the day, I know that the people who love you can care about you as much as they possibly can and show that care in their own ways, while still not fully understanding what your experience has truly been like. You are the only person who has actually lived through everything you have lived through, and sometimes there can still be a sense of pain and loneliness even when the people around you are genuinely trying their best. I want to make it clear that my family has never been abusive and that they have tried to care for me as best they can. I know they don’t mean to cause harm, and nobody is perfect, everyone has their own struggles, circumstances and life experiences too. I can understand all of that while also acknowledging that some things were still really painful for me and how that has impacted me now to this day. Hopefully that makes sense. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, or is still trying to cope with something similar. And hopefully, if anyone does relate to this, you know that you’re not alone and that your feelings are valid too. 🤍 Thanks 🙂

I lost my best friend 2 months ago

replies: 2

I met my best friend at 4 years old, we instantly became inseparable and stayed that way for the past 20 years.Our mums used to joke that we would end up together when we grew up (He is a boy, and I’m a girl) but somewhere along the line they realise... View more

I met my best friend at 4 years old, we instantly became inseparable and stayed that way for the past 20 years.Our mums used to joke that we would end up together when we grew up (He is a boy, and I’m a girl) but somewhere along the line they realise that we were truly more like twins than anything. We told each other everything, probably too open about some topics. He had Autism, ADHD, and ticks. He also struggled with addiction and mental health problems. I have PTSD and severe anxiety and depression but have been managing the past few years, honestly since he’s been gone I’ve noticed how much his ticks kept me regulated and I find it hard to settle myself down. Weirdly we just understood everything about each other and knew exactly how to handle each other’s emotions and reactions, we were each others safe spaces and favourite person, We were there for every moment of our lives and I cannot express how much this beautiful man meant to me. 2 months ago my BFF passed away unexpectedly, he overdosed on a dangerous concoction of drugs and alcohol. He struggled with addiction for several years but had been sober for the past few months and was attending regular meetings and taking his medication.It was simply one night of relapse, he had filmed a video explaining that he felt guilty and intended on calling his mum and restarting his sobriety in the morning.Unfortunately one of the drugs he took was known to be “faulty” and had even caused an overdose a few nights before. The person who organised this drug for my friend was warned to stay with him and to provide Narcan incase of an overdose.I’m not sure whether my friend was warned of this before he took it, the other person did not stay, no narcan was present, and no one checked on him the following day. (this is one of the hardest facts to process - I did not know anything had happened until the day after he passed)I cannot believe this is real and it’s taken so long for me to come to terms with the fact I cannot see him anymore or that it could have been prevented. I have been visiting his mother and son but each time I see them I spend the next day mourning everything again. I’ve been horrible to my boyfriend and I can feel my depression and anxiety worsening, I find it hard to see people or leave the house to walk the back streets to my boyfriend’s house. I feel explosive andI’m not eating or sleeping as much as I should. I’ve been seeing a doctor and started psychology again but i’m struggling so much.

Welcome to the Small Business Owners section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Small Business Owners section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide a space for small business owners a space to discuss the challenges that come with running a small business and connect with o... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Small Business Owners section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide a space for small business owners a space to discuss the challenges that come with running a small business and connect with others who understand. Please be mindful that anyone can read these discussions. Just like all other sections of the Forums, this space is completely anonymous. Any identifiable information, such as business name or exact location, will be edited or removed to preserve anonymity. This is not a space to promote your business, but a space for peer support and connection as you manage stress, worry, or feeling overwhelmed. Thank you for being here. Owning a small business can be tough, and we hope this can be a supportive space for you along the way. Kind regards Beyond Blue

Big mistakes

replies: 2

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on... View more

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on these apps without even realising the amounts I was spending. Fast forward to now I have been hit with 160k of tax bills from not knowing what to do or the implications of not being compliant. I have ATO threatening to close the business and potentially bankrupt me.I informed my wife of this and she was supportive and wanting to help find a way to refinance our house and get the debt under control. Since then she discovered my spending on the gaming apps and has completely shut down from me and is extremely angry saying she doesn’t know if we can continue after this debt is sorted. She doesn’t want to leave me because it would ruin our 12 year old son but is so angry that she doesn’t see a future. She says she needs space. I have deleted all games and am waiting on banks answer to refinance.I am completely broken, scared of losing everything, embarrassed that I let it get to this I feel alone with everything and could not live a life without my family. I don’t know what to do to save my family and myself

Small business pressure -How do I keep pushing through when I’m drained physically and mentally.

replies: 5

I took over a hair salon business when I was 24 years old I’m now 31.It started with myself, a close friend who was my business partner and 1 apprentice.i was the hairdresser my friend who I went into business was the Bookeeper.From day 1 it has not ... View more

I took over a hair salon business when I was 24 years old I’m now 31.It started with myself, a close friend who was my business partner and 1 apprentice.i was the hairdresser my friend who I went into business was the Bookeeper.From day 1 it has not stopped with the challenges. My business partner was constantly taking money out aswelll as putting it back, i regularly voiced my concerns and it took me 2 years to finally have enough of the financial strain she put on me. I was already operating the floor, hiring staff, training them, doing clientele, working 44 hours with little to no lunch breaks. I decided to call the accountant to work out a buy out figure to which he told me he hasn’t done the books since we started. Turned out the tax and super that was being paid was straight to her personal account and got spent. I was in court for 3 years disputing it. First year into court, covid hit. Now I was fighting to keep the businesss I worked so very hard for. With lockdowns of a total of 9 months over 2 years without funding was stressful to say the least. I recently decided to put my business up for sale as my mental health has completely deteriorated the last 2 years, I was constantly getting sick, trying to still work and manage 4 employees that iv had since they where apprentices. 2 months into it being advertised and 2 months out from Christmas 2 of my employees handed there resignation in not for any bad reason other than it was time for them to explore a new direction. I was happy for them personally but on a Business level it left me with one hell of situation. It took me 5 years in total to train them up to fall apart in 2 months right before the madness. I’m worried I can’t keep fighting through all these obstacles that come my way with so little energy as it is. I’m having panic attacks during work, I’m run off my feet and I’m working more hours to cover the clients who where booked in with the 2 girls who are no longer here. I’m exhausted mentally and physically and I feel trapt till I can sell it. I’m having manic crying episodes nearly every night after work dreading each day that comes. I’m starting to loose control of my emotions within work and can’t hold back them tears. I can’t take time off now being so close to Xmas with only 2 partimers left and one being an apprentice.financially iv ran at a loss the last 2 years and the pressures are suffocating me.Any advice on how to manage the pressure and self care with little time to do so?!

Loneliness & Burn out - losing friends in your 20s replies: 6

Anger and frustration replies: 2

Uni Stress replies: 2

Have feelings for a good friend but her family are conservative Catholic replies: 1

Lost/confused replies: 3

Gender identity Confusion replies: 1

Not sure how to process infromation replies: 1

Guilt about going home to another city while parent in hospital replies: 1

Racism on the media replies: 2

Sad replies: 2

Learning to Grieve What I’ve Lost While Moving Forward replies: 1

I lost my best friend 2 months ago replies: 2

Welcome to the Small Business Owners section replies: 0

Big mistakes replies: 2

Small business pressure -How do I keep pushing through when I’m drained physically and mentally. replies: 5