People like me

My parents are forcing me to quit what I love

replies: 4

I'm 16 years old, and dancing has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I absolutely love it. I currently do 8 styles, and honestly, if I had the opportunity, I would do even more classes.The problem is that my parents have decided that... View more

I'm 16 years old, and dancing has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I absolutely love it. I currently do 8 styles, and honestly, if I had the opportunity, I would do even more classes.The problem is that my parents have decided that next year, when I'm in Year 12, I'm quitting dancing altogether.To most people, that might sound dramatic, but dancing isn't just a hobby to me. It's a huge part of who I am. It's where I've invested years of effort, discipline, and passion. It's the thing I've always been proud of. I've spent so much of my life building my skills, and I finally feel like I've reached a point where I can look at myself and think, "I'm actually good at this."Realistically, I know I'm probably not talented enough to make a career out of dancing. But if I had the ability and opportunity, I absolutely would. Part of what hurts so much is knowing that I'll never even get the chance to find out how far I could have gone.My dance school has a yearly concert where they choose a "Best Performer" who receives a solo the following year. I've been told multiple times that I'll get it eventually. For years, I've worked towards that goal. This upcoming year feels like my last real chance.Usually, the dancers who do the most classes have an advantage because they're seen more often. Right now, I do 8 classes, which gives me a decent chance, but there are dancers doing 10 classes who are already strong competition. My parents are now telling me I have to cut down to 6 classes.Maybe that sounds insignificant, but to me it feels devastating. It feels like my final opportunity is being taken away before I've even had the chance to try. Since this is supposedly my last year of dancing anyway, reducing my classes makes me feel like everything I've been working towards for years is slowly slipping through my fingers.The reasoning my parents give is that they hate driving me around and think I need more "breathing room." They also have three other children to focus on, and they said I've had "my run." That I've had my years of dancing, and now it's time to move on.The thing is, I don't want to move on.I'm a good student. I've never struggled to keep up with schoolwork. I do have anxiety, sleeping problems, and issues with emotional regulation, but dancing has never interfered with my academics. It only takes up two evenings a week, yet it's one of the most important things in my life.Lately I've realised how much of my identity is tied to dancing. I've already given up on some of my other ambitions. I used to dream about becoming valedictorian, but I don't think that's realistic anymore. I'm not especially close to my parents or siblings. I only have a few friends. There are other things I enjoy, but nothing that feels meaningful in the way dancing does.Dancing is my talent. It's my thing. It's the one area of my life where I genuinely feel confident and capable.The thought of giving it up next year makes me feel empty. Sometimes I think about my friends continuing to dance, improving, achieving their goals, and moving forward while I'm forced to stop, and it honestly feels unbearable. I feel like I'm losing a part of myself.I'm scared that if dancing disappears from my life, I'm going to fall into a depression. I already see a counsellor, but I don't know how to process the idea of losing something that means this much to me.Has anyone else had a passion or activity that felt like part of their identity taken away from them? How did you cope with it? Am I being unreasonable, or is it normal to feel this devastated? How do I stop feeling like my entire future is being ripped away from me?

Struggling with University and last minute information

replies: 3

Hi there, no problem. That’s correct… Obviously, I wish I had known that the last two weeks are public holidays. If I had, I could have planned something. Now, it feels too late and scary because the assignment is reaching its final phase, especially... View more

Hi there, no problem. That’s correct… Obviously, I wish I had known that the last two weeks are public holidays. If I had, I could have planned something. Now, it feels too late and scary because the assignment is reaching its final phase, especially the subject with the seniors. There was one scenario where a group member said I wasn’t supposed to be in the group. Now, I’m too scared to figure this out because it’s very last minute. The other subject is because either the lecture instructions or the information was very unclear or very last minute. Or, I need to go places, and the group member is like, “Don’t care if I’m in the group. If I miss out or something, it’s all on me. The group member won’t be responsible if I miss out or willing to clarify.” I’m unsure whether the class lecture and the group’s assumption is that everyone knows or what. But I for sure know that I wish I had chosen a better group. Sadly, I can’t because all the spots are filled, and that’s not something that can be done anymore. Now, I’m filled with worry and fear that I might fail or receive a grade of zero for a subject simply because of this. I feel like the entire project relies on the organization of my group members. I’m at a loss for what to do at this point and am concerned about the possibility of failing due to lateness or difficulties. I wish I could have been in a group with better members. I’m unsure of what to do and feel that there’s a risk of failing because of these issues. I should contact these people for clarification, but it wasn’t the case during the previous semester. I wish I had been in a group with better members.

No passion

replies: 2

Hi, Im 15 years old and I really don't have any passion. There's nothing I want to pursue or look forward to anymore and I feel like my life has amounted to nothing. Everyday after school I just go to my room and get into bed, fall asleep and then wa... View more

Hi, Im 15 years old and I really don't have any passion. There's nothing I want to pursue or look forward to anymore and I feel like my life has amounted to nothing. Everyday after school I just go to my room and get into bed, fall asleep and then wake up and go to school again. It's a cycle I want to break but I just don't know how, the only sport I really enjoy Is volleyball and it genuinely makes me happy when I play. However I'd only play once a week and I want to do more, I want to be something and have fun adventures, yet I can't find the motivation to and just feel tired and burnt out. My rooms messy and I feel so lazy despite giving everything my best efforts, I just want to find things that make me happy and get off of my phone. I would love if anyone could help or give any tips.

I can't tell if I'm confused about my body or my gender.

replies: 1

For a while now I have felt uncomfortable in my body. When I am in the shower or look in the mirror I see my body and don't particularly like it. The main part that I don't like is my chest. I was born female and now identify as a demigirl (part girl... View more

For a while now I have felt uncomfortable in my body. When I am in the shower or look in the mirror I see my body and don't particularly like it. The main part that I don't like is my chest. I was born female and now identify as a demigirl (part girl, part non-binary). I am currently going through puberty and, therefore, my chest is growing. Whenever I see my exposed chest I feel very uncomfortable and always feel much better when I cover it, can't see it, or unintentionally see it as flat.This may be a contributing factor but I have a trans-male boyfriend and the potential for me to be a boy might be affected by that.Either way, I can't tell if I just don't want to have my chest anymore or if I actually am a boy. If anyone has had a similar experience, please tell me. I just want to have an answer.

How Do I Know My Gender?

replies: 6

I was asigned female at birth. My whole life, up until a few months ago, I identified as a girl. As a female. But now I'm not sure. I feel like sometimes I don't fit in with the other girls. Although most of my friends are girls. I hate the beaty sta... View more

I was asigned female at birth. My whole life, up until a few months ago, I identified as a girl. As a female. But now I'm not sure. I feel like sometimes I don't fit in with the other girls. Although most of my friends are girls. I hate the beaty standards of our society. I don't fit them. I don't like wearing tight and revealing clothing and showing my midriff. I'm also probably underweight. I'm tall but skinny. I'm not busty like the other girls. Everyone sees so confident in what they wear, and then there's just me, hiding in my baggy jeans and hoody, becomming as small as possible. Trying not to be in the way. I don't feel that out of place in my body, but I've got so many different styles. I can't seem to stick to just one. And those styles differ depending on who I'm with and how they dress. I've got ADHD. And Anxiety. And most likely Autism. I mask. To fit in. I don't know if the questioning I'm experiencing is because of that or because I don't feel female. I don't know how to identify bodily internal feelings, like hunger, etc. But that's probably just the AudiHD speaking. Please help. I don't know what I am or who I am but I need to find out.

Is there a nice way to tell a friend 'grow up' or should I put an end to things? Help!!

replies: 2

Hi, currently in year 12 and one of my close friends since year 8 is really bugging me. She spends a lot of time whinging about how stressed she is about school and how she wishes should could go home and how unfair everything is (like wearing a unif... View more

Hi, currently in year 12 and one of my close friends since year 8 is really bugging me. She spends a lot of time whinging about how stressed she is about school and how she wishes should could go home and how unfair everything is (like wearing a uniform or having to go to class - I don't see this as a big deal). It's really draining and I always feel like crap, so have been kind of avoiding her, which makes me feel worse. Sometimes I think she's doing it because she doesn't know what to say and is filling in space, but then wouldn't you ask a question instead? We're graduating in 5 months so I don't really want to rock the boat, plus she's having a really hard time at home (parents separated, mum is unwell) and I don't want to be that crappy friend that ditches someone as soon as things get hard, but shes been getting worse over the last few months. And she keeps asking if I'll still be friends with her after HSC and it wasn't really something I thought about but now it's really irritating me. She's always super loud and defensive and I feel embarrassed for her at times because her reactions are way out of proportion. When it's not so intense I actually enjoy seeing her from time to time but right now am kind of sick of it. Any advice?

Guilt about going home to another city while parent in hospital

replies: 1

My father had a stroke two weeks ago and I have been going to hospital every day since, taking my mum along (a one hour drive wa h way) and advocating for my dad”s health and treatment. He’s doing better now and waiting to go to regab, but is quite w... View more

My father had a stroke two weeks ago and I have been going to hospital every day since, taking my mum along (a one hour drive wa h way) and advocating for my dad”s health and treatment. He’s doing better now and waiting to go to regab, but is quite weak after being in bed for 2 weeks. He’s 88 years old and I’ve been helping keep his spirits up and doing exercises with him to help keep some muscle tone. I don’t know when a rehab bed will become available for him, but I’m feeling exhausted and I’d like to go home for a few weeks. However, I’m feeling terribly guilty about it, and if he declines without such regular visits to boost his morale, I know the guilt is going to consume me. How do other people cope with the guilt of beng away and potentially having a good time with others when an aged parent is unwell or declining?

Racism on the media

replies: 2

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to b... View more

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to be a "human" and get through life

Job Search Blues

replies: 3

Hey everyone, Glad to meet everyone on this forum (hope it's the right forum). I quit my full time job 2.5 months ago without a job in hand, and have been looking for a job in the same field. While I have time until next December to stay in Australia... View more

Hey everyone, Glad to meet everyone on this forum (hope it's the right forum). I quit my full time job 2.5 months ago without a job in hand, and have been looking for a job in the same field. While I have time until next December to stay in Australia and look for a job and have had some interviews, I have been living in constant stress and anxiety, wondering when my next opportunity will appear. I have been regretting the time I quit my job since it acted as golden handcuffs, even though the months leading up to the exit were rough, and I was experiencing stagnant growth from a salary standpoint. Every application rejection is playing with my patience, and is making me look desperate. I am afraid people will call me out for not getting a job. Is there anybody else that is or has experienced the same issue as me? I am keen to hear people's thoughts.

Grief, the deaths of loved ones, and the gradual attempts at moving on.

replies: 0

I know 11 poeple who have died. From 2015 to this year, 2016. I'm only 16. It's too much. I try to count them. I can't let myself forget them. If I do then it's like they've never lived at all and thats not fair to them. If theyre all dead why can't ... View more

I know 11 poeple who have died. From 2015 to this year, 2016. I'm only 16. It's too much. I try to count them. I can't let myself forget them. If I do then it's like they've never lived at all and thats not fair to them. If theyre all dead why can't I be too? One of the ones that died (I'm gonna refer to them as K) was my mum's best friend. She was like a second mum to me. She was my best friends mum. She died on the 7t of May, 2022. It has been over 4 years. Her husband has moved on. He has a new partner now. The partner is pregnant. It feels like it's too soon. I can't cope. My bestfriend is gonna have a stepbrother. He already has a llittle brother (2 years younger than us). It's too much. It's too soon. It feels like theyre moving on. Forgetting her. And I'm stuck in the past. Unable to fully forget. Unable to move on. How do I get through this? I wanna be happy again.

Grief

replies: 2

My baby girl died today. I can't help with feel the pain that I wasnt there in her final moments. What helps you cope. 

My baby girl died today. I can't help with feel the pain that I wasnt there in her final moments. What helps you cope. 💔😭

Loss of partner.

replies: 1

I lost my partner of 15 years six months ago. We were just beginning to adjust to a new stage of life together, with all of our children having moved away. Our youngest had recently started secondary school and was living in a boarding house, so for ... View more

I lost my partner of 15 years six months ago. We were just beginning to adjust to a new stage of life together, with all of our children having moved away. Our youngest had recently started secondary school and was living in a boarding house, so for the first time in many years, it was just the two of us.Then he was diagnosed with a chronic illness, and within five months, he had passed away.I am now living completely alone. I returned to work part-time to help manage my grief and to have some human interaction. During the days I work, I cope reasonably well. But when I come home to an empty house and the evening begins, the tears come. The loneliness feels overwhelming, and I am consumed by grief and loss.My grief is not only for my partner. It is also for the life we shared, the future we had planned, and the everyday moments that are now gone. For 15 years, it was always us, alongside our family. Now I am trying to find my way in a life that feels completely different from the one I knew.I don't know what my life looks like without him. I feel lost, lonely, and uncertain about how to move forward.

Welcome to the Small Business Owners section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Small Business Owners section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide a space for small business owners a space to discuss the challenges that come with running a small business and connect with o... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Small Business Owners section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide a space for small business owners a space to discuss the challenges that come with running a small business and connect with others who understand. Please be mindful that anyone can read these discussions. Just like all other sections of the Forums, this space is completely anonymous. Any identifiable information, such as business name or exact location, will be edited or removed to preserve anonymity. This is not a space to promote your business, but a space for peer support and connection as you manage stress, worry, or feeling overwhelmed. Thank you for being here. Owning a small business can be tough, and we hope this can be a supportive space for you along the way. Kind regards Beyond Blue

Big mistakes

replies: 2

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on... View more

6 years ago I was working for family business and my father passed away. I was left to run the business on my own not knowing what to do or how to run a business. In this time I turned to gaming apps to cope with everything. I spent a lot of money on these apps without even realising the amounts I was spending. Fast forward to now I have been hit with 160k of tax bills from not knowing what to do or the implications of not being compliant. I have ATO threatening to close the business and potentially bankrupt me.I informed my wife of this and she was supportive and wanting to help find a way to refinance our house and get the debt under control. Since then she discovered my spending on the gaming apps and has completely shut down from me and is extremely angry saying she doesn’t know if we can continue after this debt is sorted. She doesn’t want to leave me because it would ruin our 12 year old son but is so angry that she doesn’t see a future. She says she needs space. I have deleted all games and am waiting on banks answer to refinance.I am completely broken, scared of losing everything, embarrassed that I let it get to this I feel alone with everything and could not live a life without my family. I don’t know what to do to save my family and myself

Small business pressure -How do I keep pushing through when I’m drained physically and mentally.

replies: 5

I took over a hair salon business when I was 24 years old I’m now 31.It started with myself, a close friend who was my business partner and 1 apprentice.i was the hairdresser my friend who I went into business was the Bookeeper.From day 1 it has not ... View more

I took over a hair salon business when I was 24 years old I’m now 31.It started with myself, a close friend who was my business partner and 1 apprentice.i was the hairdresser my friend who I went into business was the Bookeeper.From day 1 it has not stopped with the challenges. My business partner was constantly taking money out aswelll as putting it back, i regularly voiced my concerns and it took me 2 years to finally have enough of the financial strain she put on me. I was already operating the floor, hiring staff, training them, doing clientele, working 44 hours with little to no lunch breaks. I decided to call the accountant to work out a buy out figure to which he told me he hasn’t done the books since we started. Turned out the tax and super that was being paid was straight to her personal account and got spent. I was in court for 3 years disputing it. First year into court, covid hit. Now I was fighting to keep the businesss I worked so very hard for. With lockdowns of a total of 9 months over 2 years without funding was stressful to say the least. I recently decided to put my business up for sale as my mental health has completely deteriorated the last 2 years, I was constantly getting sick, trying to still work and manage 4 employees that iv had since they where apprentices. 2 months into it being advertised and 2 months out from Christmas 2 of my employees handed there resignation in not for any bad reason other than it was time for them to explore a new direction. I was happy for them personally but on a Business level it left me with one hell of situation. It took me 5 years in total to train them up to fall apart in 2 months right before the madness. I’m worried I can’t keep fighting through all these obstacles that come my way with so little energy as it is. I’m having panic attacks during work, I’m run off my feet and I’m working more hours to cover the clients who where booked in with the 2 girls who are no longer here. I’m exhausted mentally and physically and I feel trapt till I can sell it. I’m having manic crying episodes nearly every night after work dreading each day that comes. I’m starting to loose control of my emotions within work and can’t hold back them tears. I can’t take time off now being so close to Xmas with only 2 partimers left and one being an apprentice.financially iv ran at a loss the last 2 years and the pressures are suffocating me.Any advice on how to manage the pressure and self care with little time to do so?!

My parents are forcing me to quit what I love replies: 4

Struggling with University and last minute information replies: 3

No passion replies: 2

I can't tell if I'm confused about my body or my gender. replies: 1

How Do I Know My Gender? replies: 6

Is there a nice way to tell a friend 'grow up' or should I put an end to things? Help!! replies: 2

Guilt about going home to another city while parent in hospital replies: 1

Racism on the media replies: 2

Job Search Blues replies: 3

Grief, the deaths of loved ones, and the gradual attempts at moving on. replies: 0

Grief replies: 2

Loss of partner. replies: 1

Welcome to the Small Business Owners section replies: 0

Big mistakes replies: 2

Small business pressure -How do I keep pushing through when I’m drained physically and mentally. replies: 5