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BeyondBlue Hi! Read this if you are not sure what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond B... View more

Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Beyond Blue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. Beyond Blue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage and want a specific space to share their experience. Please be aware that posts on the Beyond Blue Forums may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our Forums guidelines, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Beyond Blue

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Vik888 Racism on the media
  • replies: 1

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to b... View more

Hey all, I thought to express some thought here. I am of immigrant background Indian to be specific. I think the mental stress is just unbearable at this stage. Any tips how to get by and keep going when you are constantly abused for just trying to be a "human" and get through life

Swaggerd98 Job Search Blues
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, Glad to meet everyone on this forum (hope it's the right forum). I quit my full time job 2.5 months ago without a job in hand, and have been looking for a job in the same field. While I have time until next December to stay in Australia... View more

Hey everyone, Glad to meet everyone on this forum (hope it's the right forum). I quit my full time job 2.5 months ago without a job in hand, and have been looking for a job in the same field. While I have time until next December to stay in Australia and look for a job and have had some interviews, I have been living in constant stress and anxiety, wondering when my next opportunity will appear. I have been regretting the time I quit my job since it acted as golden handcuffs, even though the months leading up to the exit were rough, and I was experiencing stagnant growth from a salary standpoint. Every application rejection is playing with my patience, and is making me look desperate. I am afraid people will call me out for not getting a job. Is there anybody else that is or has experienced the same issue as me? I am keen to hear people's thoughts.

A-ly Lonely a lost purpose
  • replies: 1

Hi,I was a very passionate driven person when I was younger and achieved a lot in my passions as a teen/young adult and have been lucky enough to have experienced a lot of travel and success in my passion during those years. Since retiring that passi... View more

Hi,I was a very passionate driven person when I was younger and achieved a lot in my passions as a teen/young adult and have been lucky enough to have experienced a lot of travel and success in my passion during those years. Since retiring that passion 2 years ago (it was too physically and financially demanding so can't return) I have felt as though I have really lost myself. I don't really know who I am anymore, I feel as though I don't have any connections with anyone really anymore. Like all my group of friends have slowly drifted over the years as we all went in different directions with careers and they slowly started leaving me out to the point they don't include me anymore and I never understood why. I have one best friend who I love, but our connection just isn't the same at the moment, we are in completely different seasons of life to each other. I feel like I know a lot of people but can't make connections. I don't know where I belong anymore. I am 30, have no partner, not real sense of connections to anyone and struggle to make new ones. I just feel incredibly lonely, I don't know what my purpose in life is anymore and I just feel like I'm going through the motions every day eat work sleep repeat with no sense of direction or purpose anymore.

Illbeok No friends
  • replies: 19

Whenever I read articles or books about mental health, "talking to your family and friends is one of the keys for better mental health" and moreover it's often suggested people who have no friends are more likely to be unhappy and become depressed, a... View more

Whenever I read articles or books about mental health, "talking to your family and friends is one of the keys for better mental health" and moreover it's often suggested people who have no friends are more likely to be unhappy and become depressed, and have poor health. I feel like I'm in this category of people who are helpless and destined to have depression and other illnesses. I don't know what to do and I feel so isolated. I immigrated to Australia when I was 30 and now I'm 50 with no friends, no close family. I have social anxiety and I've been having episodes of depression (trying hard to tame it every day), have mostly recovered from anorexia, but I'm having PTSD now from an assault / loss of my sister. I have anxiety attacks and other typical PTSD episodes with additional anxiety about having a serious depression and anorexia. Please help.

NewInTown Making friends as an immigrant
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, I’m in my 30s and recently moved to Australia. I live in a small town, and I’m finding it really hard to make friends. I have a few challenges. One is that English is not my first language, so while I can have a basic conversation, it’s ... View more

Hi everyone, I’m in my 30s and recently moved to Australia. I live in a small town, and I’m finding it really hard to make friends. I have a few challenges. One is that English is not my first language, so while I can have a basic conversation, it’s very hard for me to go further and truly connect with someone. Another challenge is living in a small town where there aren’t many chances to meet people. And I also struggle with starting conversations and small talk, so I often stay quiet even when I want to join in. Because of all this, I feel lonely and sometimes hopeless. It’s frustrating to want connection but not know how to make it happen. I’m posting here hoping to hear from anyone who’s been through the same thing and found a way forward, or anyone who might have suggestions or advice.

newaussie Still up in the air after four years
  • replies: 4

Hi,I’m going to turn 45 next month. I moved to Australia four years ago with my white Australian partner and my ten year old son. I saw this move as an opportunity to build a better life for my son and I, with my partner. In the last four years I hav... View more

Hi,I’m going to turn 45 next month. I moved to Australia four years ago with my white Australian partner and my ten year old son. I saw this move as an opportunity to build a better life for my son and I, with my partner. In the last four years I have struggled with the work culture here(very different from what I was used to, which is understandable), making friends and finding my place in this country. As a middle-aged brown woman, I feel invisible at times and too visible at others. I’ve had no luck with friendships - it feels like most people are only interested in transactional relationships. In the last few months a very toxic workplace had me reaching the lowest point on mymentsl health and I’m slowly finding my way back. But I have never felt more lonely! I’ve tried book clubs ( I love reading), hobbies (bushwalking) and volunteering (with a local ngo) but I’ve not made any meaningful connections. I also sense my partner has withdrawn from me and now, has his own life here, that I don’t feel very welcome to be part of. I’ve read some of the discussions in the forum and I think what I’m raising here is a common experience for migrants. However I feel like four years is a long time and by now I was hoping things would have got better. Sadly, they haven’t.What am I doing wrong? What else can I try?

Nostos Unhappy, need advice
  • replies: 10

Hi everyone, I was hoping to obtain some advice from someone who might be on a similar situation to mine. I have been living in Australia for about 10 years. I relocated from Europe with my mother (a pensioner). When I arrived in Australia, I did not... View more

Hi everyone, I was hoping to obtain some advice from someone who might be on a similar situation to mine. I have been living in Australia for about 10 years. I relocated from Europe with my mother (a pensioner). When I arrived in Australia, I did not have extensive professional experience since I had finished studying at University. My dream was to break into the marketing industry in Australia, but I have had to put that dream on the side as I was not able to land a job in the field. In fact, I was not able to land any job until 6 months after I had arrived, due to lack of experience. To sustain myself and my mother, I worked in fields that were not very appealing to me, until last year when I decided to study Digital Marketing that could potentially make me more employable. This has proven another uphill battle because even though I have now graduated, I do not have prior experience in the field. My mother and I have both found it extremely difficult to make meaningful connections in our new city. Unfortunately it seems that people do not have the time (or perhaps the motivation) to get to know new people and prefer focusing on the friends they already have. When it comes to social/meetup groups, they can be very superficial, once again making it difficult to approach people on a more meaningful level (for instance, exchanging numbers, going for coffee, and having a more regular contact seems nearly impossible). To top it off, I have had several experiences with toxic workplaces where my efforts, as well as my focus on work rather than gossip and backstabbing, have not been appreciated. I have had to make the difficult decision to leave some of those environments for my own sanity. I am currently unemployed, still trying to get into digital marketing. Additionally, the distance from Europe is getting to me more and more, to the point where I am starting to doubt whether relocating was a wise decision (there were valid reasons for the move at the time though). I am at a point where I do not know what to do next. I cannot return to my home country(which would be my dream) for reasons that I won't go through here, and I wouldn't want to return to where I was previously, because it would be even harder to find a job . I am also worried about my mother, because even though eventually I might find another job here, she will be home alone all day, with no friends to talk to. Ideally I want to relocate somewhere in Europe so that we can be close to my home country, but I don't know where. Would you have any suggestions as to how to go about this situation? I feel that I am at a crossroads. Thank you for your patience with my lengthy text.

cs65 Marriage breakdown. Australian/Vietnamese
  • replies: 9

Hello, I have no idea if this is in the right place, so apologies if it isn't. Background: I am 53 yr old male living in rural Qld. I suffer diagnosed PTSD, anxiety and chronic depression as a result of childhood sexual abuse from my step-father. Up ... View more

Hello, I have no idea if this is in the right place, so apologies if it isn't. Background: I am 53 yr old male living in rural Qld. I suffer diagnosed PTSD, anxiety and chronic depression as a result of childhood sexual abuse from my step-father. Up until the age of 40 I was on a wild roller-coaster ride of drug/alcohol abuse, failed relationships, trouble with police, admitted to psyche wards etc. It was hell. Finally I got the help I needed and with the use of CBT strategies and SSRI's, (which I haven't taken for years), have been able to keep my life reasonably balanced. Eight and a half years ago I met the girl of my dreams, a lovely Vietnamese lady and we have had what I consider to be a great marriage. We have no children together, but my 18 yr old daughter has been in the family home throughout and considers my wife as a step-mother. She departed interstate recently to commence University. Funnily enough she is studying Psychology. My elderly mother also stays with us in a self-contained granny flat. Her and my wife are/were best of friends. Our marriage has not been without its ups and downs, as per usual, but in general we have had a happy time together and I love her dearly. I have had minor episodes of depression/anxiety but I have the strategies in place to recognise and deal with it. However, on the 22nd December I crashed and burned. I was in the middle of an incredibly busy and stressful time with my business and also as President of a local sporting group. I knew I wasn't feeling 'right' but the pressure I was under blinded me as to how close to the edge I was. I had a major meltdown and spent 2 weeks over xmas basically in a catatonic state with absolutely terrible anxiety attacks. I slowly dragged myself back out of the hole, but I sensed a change in my wife. She was cold, uncaring and distant. Ten days ago she simply disappeared with as many possessions as she could. No explanation, no goodbyes, (even to my mother), blocked all phone number and social media links. As far as I knew she was dead. She contacted me last night and basically said that she can't cope with my issues, that she doesn't believe that depression/anxiety is real and that all I need to do is take control of my mind. No matter how I tried to explain that depressions robs my ability of control, she wouldn't have it. I am a broken man. Is this a cultural issue with her? Has anyone else experienced this in an inter-racial marriage? I need to understand why?

Donte What to do when your son with mental illness and gambling issues steals money from you?
  • replies: 9

A friend's son returned to live with him last year following his divorce. It has been difficult as he is often angry and depressed. However, the son has been helping my friend with the shopping as he finds it difficult to manage. He recently discover... View more

A friend's son returned to live with him last year following his divorce. It has been difficult as he is often angry and depressed. However, the son has been helping my friend with the shopping as he finds it difficult to manage. He recently discovered that $15,000 has disappeared from his savings. The son is the only other person with access to my friend's bank account. My friend thinks his son may have taken the money to go to the casino as he gambles a lot or used it for drugs. My friend has been having problems sleeping. He hasn’t told anybody about his concerns apart from me. He isn’t sure what to do. Financial abuse can be the type of issue that people feel most comfortable talking about in public. However, it often is connected to other issues that are equally destructive. I am not aware that the Greek community experiences these issues any more than other cultural groups. However, as we very well know people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds are less likely to seek support. This situation is typical of the issues that can be involved with adult children returning to the parental home who have experienced issues with drug and alcohol addiction or problem gambling. This often occurs following divorce or relationship breakdown. What would you recommend to someone in this predicament?

Ann_ACD Fairness at work
  • replies: 2

Where do we(non-white people) seek help to find fairness at work especially when the management already decided which side they're on?

Where do we(non-white people) seek help to find fairness at work especially when the management already decided which side they're on?