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Chris_B Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islande... View more

Hi everyone, Welcome to the Multicultural Experiences section, a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. beyondblue acknowledges and respects the diversity of communities across Australia, including Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people as the First Australians. beyondblue also recognises the complexities of identity and that people may identify with more than one community. Depression, anxiety and suicide can affect any of us at any time – regardless of our culture or background. We also know that a range of factors can make it harder for people in some communities to seek and access support. This section is for members born overseas, are the children of parents born overseas, have a language other than English as your primary language, or come from a family with mixed cultural heritage. Please be aware that posts in this forum may contain discussions of suicide, self-harm and/or traumatic life events. As per our community rules, please be mindful when posting about the level of detail you share on these topics as it can be upsetting for other members. We look forward to hearing your stories. Become a Multicultural Correspondent Are you from a culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) background? Are you interested in being a regular contributor to this section? We are seeking members who will actively participate in discussions and start up new threads on topics of interest to CALD communities (6-10 quality posts per week). Please get in touch with our team to discuss.

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Guest_17578890 It's just not working out
  • replies: 1

I am a 39 year old South African who has moved to Australia 18 months ago. It hard! Harder than I thought and in ways I could never have imagined. I moved for my kids to have a better education and for us all the be safe. I have a working visa but it... View more

I am a 39 year old South African who has moved to Australia 18 months ago. It hard! Harder than I thought and in ways I could never have imagined. I moved for my kids to have a better education and for us all the be safe. I have a working visa but it will be a long time before I'm a permanent resident (4 1/2 years), this means I am in limbo in the meantime as I don't feel like I belong. Pile on the fact that as a South African we are known to be friendly but efficient and no nonsense ie direct. I also have high functioning anxiety for all my life (abused as a kid). All of this in S A didn't seem to be an issue. If I was stressed I'd take anxiety meds, and if I was a little short at work, because of my position it would be brushed off, I'd appologise and we would all move on. Sometimes the general manager has to Crack the whip, it's part of the job. I was never rude or abusive. Now... in Australia, I feel like my entire identity has been beaten out of me. I spend 90% of my energy trying to be extra nice, extra friendly, and nothing gets done...so I do it myself, working 7 days a week to make deadlines without any support. Which of course means I'm achieving but I'm exhausted and can get snappy. I get insecure and i hear people talking about me in the office. Again, I appologise immediately after. I've now been fired essentially for not being nice enough, and every interaction has been twisted and misunderstood/represented to the boss. I dont know what to do...whats the point of being here. Achieving goals at the expense of being a push over and killing myself didn't even work, and not being a pushover is seen as being aggressive. I just can't win. I've given up everything and have nothing to go back to, plus I'd never get my children to come back with me (ex husband is here in australia) so I really have to stay, but will I ever fit in, how do I find a job where I can be myself, or just get a bit of understanding while I acclimatise. I am embarrassed about humiliated by being fired, a second time, after 4 months of probation at each despite achieving and surpassing goals, essentially because of my personality. I know that I dont want to die but I certainly cant live like this anymore. I don't see any alternatives.

Guest_74671780 Mixed relationship
  • replies: 4

So I'm in a long distance relationship with a mixed male who is white-mexican and he grew up all Hispanic, I'm Australian white and when he told an aunt about me she said "I was going to taint the blood line" and so I've been trying to embrace his cu... View more

So I'm in a long distance relationship with a mixed male who is white-mexican and he grew up all Hispanic, I'm Australian white and when he told an aunt about me she said "I was going to taint the blood line" and so I've been trying to embrace his culture more so that they don't feel that way and I'm not really sure what do to and it stresses me out alot because if him and I get married and have kids I don't want his family to disapprove or make comments further as they should be happy he has someone who loves him, so I guess in a way I want to impress his family aswell as him.

Robuu Depression on international student life
  • replies: 2

Life as an international student can be extremely tough, especially when you're in a foreign country, trying to navigate unfamiliar systems. In my case, I was unknowingly influenced into participating in fraudulent activities. I had no idea what I wa... View more

Life as an international student can be extremely tough, especially when you're in a foreign country, trying to navigate unfamiliar systems. In my case, I was unknowingly influenced into participating in fraudulent activities. I had no idea what I was doing, being new to the place and the culture. This mistake led to the suspension of my NDIS, cutting off essential support that I relied on.Without the NDIS, I lost my job, making it impossible to pay bills, fines, or even manage daily expenses. As the financial pressure mounted, it became harder to keep up with tuition fees, leading the school to cancel my Confirmation of Enrolment (COE) due to outstanding fees.I tried speaking with the school to get my COE reinstated, but they refused, demanding full payment upfront—something I simply couldn’t afford. Desperate, I reached out to friends for help, but they were more like acquaintances, "hi friends" who couldn’t offer the support I needed. To make matters worse, my family back home is depending on me, adding to the burden.All of this led to feelings of loneliness, helplessness, and a deepening sense of isolation, leaving me battling with bad thoughts and the weight of depression.

AJH Why do all white girls hate me?
  • replies: 12

I'm a 37 year old mixed race male where unfortunately my mothers Philippine genes left a stronger mark on my looks than my white Dads genes did. Theres a saying that 'we can't help what we are attracted to' and in my case that is white girls; those o... View more

I'm a 37 year old mixed race male where unfortunately my mothers Philippine genes left a stronger mark on my looks than my white Dads genes did. Theres a saying that 'we can't help what we are attracted to' and in my case that is white girls; those of English, Scottish and Irish descent. Blondes, redheads and blue eyes do it for me. My misfortune with women has plagued me my entire life. No girlfriends through high school. I couldn't even get any of my female peers to partner up with me to do the Deb in year 10 or the year 11 formal or year 12 valedictory. I had to miss out or just go alone. I did hear that they all rejected me because apparently I would have spoilt the photos of their special night...I tend to agree now. I'd turn myself down if I could too lol. After high school I did TAFE for 4 years and same thing again; no interest in my whatsoever despite my attempts and advances. I didn't kiss or hug my first girl until I was 33. We met at church. An unrewarding relationship stumbled along for 3 painful unrewarding years. We never had sex...I wanted to but she declined. Towards the end the kissing stopped as well because apparently I made her sick...glandular fever or something. So I'm still a virgin and a loser because of it. I've had no luck at singles events, speed dating, online dating which I've spent a small fortune on. No one is interested or replies unless they are a scammer. I've lost money to that as well...perhaps I care to much. I don't know what to do. It gets me down quite badly not being good enough for anyone. It gives me a headache every day of my life. My zest for life has dried up. The days where I don't have work it is a battle to even get out of bed. This isn't how I imagined my life would turn out. I'm not a bad person and I haven't done anyone any wrong. But the nightmare is real. I don't see a way forward apart from undergoing plastic surgery which will be very expensive. I've done the psychologists via the mental health care plan, antidepressant medication, hypnotism (didn't work but I went along with it because I felt bad for the practitioner), life coaching which was very expensive, love coaching in Melbourne, reading a lot of self help books and more. Does anyone suggest what I should do? Thanks.

Carlo Carlo
  • replies: 2

Hi, My name is Carl and I’ve been in business most of my life and helped and mentored quite a few young people get their life back on track and give them direction and am still doing the same thing. I grew up in my younger years on the streets left s... View more

Hi, My name is Carl and I’ve been in business most of my life and helped and mentored quite a few young people get their life back on track and give them direction and am still doing the same thing. I grew up in my younger years on the streets left school at 15 and started working. My mother and father separated when I was 8 years old and spent most of my teenage years with an alcoholic mother. I had a son with a very debilitating autoimmune disease, which caused extreme physical and mental health. He suffered from anxiety, ptsd and ocd. He passed 1 year ago. I saw him go through alot of physical and psychological pain which I was allways there to help him through calmly. So if any of you guys out there would like to reach out for a chat or just someone to listen to you please feel free to contact me.

hs5u seeking some advice on how i should behave in an australian work place with bosses
  • replies: 4

hiI come from a different country and my english language is a second language and ive been living in australia just over a year now and I sometimes have trouble understanding the ways of things of the native english speakers and i just wanted to get... View more

hiI come from a different country and my english language is a second language and ive been living in australia just over a year now and I sometimes have trouble understanding the ways of things of the native english speakers and i just wanted to get some help from people to guide me to adapt in the working environment in australia. When i first got a part time job at a large retail chain i noticed some workers there are the in charges, team leaders, upper managers and i noticed usually these people don't try to get along with other working employees like myself and i presumed that they are the bosses with some responsibilities and didn't want to socialized at workplaces. One trouble im having at the workplace is getting along with these people in a way that is not intrusive of their positions but still getting along as an employee. Most of the time up till now it has been saying the greetings when i see them which i have been having difficulty with. It would be something like, they would go "hello how are you" then i would respond with something like "good thanks how are you" and a lot of them afterwards don't look happy and wouldn't make eye contact with me and up until now i still don't understand what i am doing wrong here. I have been trying to be friendly at workplaces, cooperative, and supportive but when it comes to talking to the bosses i find it daunting and stressful. This is also my first time having a job and i just wanted to seek some advice on what i might be doing wrong and how i should behave at a workplace and in an australian setting if any of the people can help me out it would be greatly appreciated

Illbeok No friends
  • replies: 16

Whenever I read articles or books about mental health, "talking to your family and friends is one of the keys for better mental health" and moreover it's often suggested people who have no friends are more likely to be unhappy and become depressed, a... View more

Whenever I read articles or books about mental health, "talking to your family and friends is one of the keys for better mental health" and moreover it's often suggested people who have no friends are more likely to be unhappy and become depressed, and have poor health. I feel like I'm in this category of people who are helpless and destined to have depression and other illnesses. I don't know what to do and I feel so isolated. I immigrated to Australia when I was 30 and now I'm 50 with no friends, no close family. I have social anxiety and I've been having episodes of depression (trying hard to tame it every day), have mostly recovered from anorexia, but I'm having PTSD now from an assault / loss of my sister. I have anxiety attacks and other typical PTSD episodes with additional anxiety about having a serious depression and anorexia. Please help.

cs65 Marriage breakdown. Australian/Vietnamese
  • replies: 8

Hello, I have no idea if this is in the right place, so apologies if it isn't. Background: I am 53 yr old male living in rural Qld. I suffer diagnosed PTSD, anxiety and chronic depression as a result of childhood sexual abuse from my step-father. Up ... View more

Hello, I have no idea if this is in the right place, so apologies if it isn't. Background: I am 53 yr old male living in rural Qld. I suffer diagnosed PTSD, anxiety and chronic depression as a result of childhood sexual abuse from my step-father. Up until the age of 40 I was on a wild roller-coaster ride of drug/alcohol abuse, failed relationships, trouble with police, admitted to psyche wards etc. It was hell. Finally I got the help I needed and with the use of CBT strategies and SSRI's, (which I haven't taken for years), have been able to keep my life reasonably balanced. Eight and a half years ago I met the girl of my dreams, a lovely Vietnamese lady and we have had what I consider to be a great marriage. We have no children together, but my 18 yr old daughter has been in the family home throughout and considers my wife as a step-mother. She departed interstate recently to commence University. Funnily enough she is studying Psychology. My elderly mother also stays with us in a self-contained granny flat. Her and my wife are/were best of friends. Our marriage has not been without its ups and downs, as per usual, but in general we have had a happy time together and I love her dearly. I have had minor episodes of depression/anxiety but I have the strategies in place to recognise and deal with it. However, on the 22nd December I crashed and burned. I was in the middle of an incredibly busy and stressful time with my business and also as President of a local sporting group. I knew I wasn't feeling 'right' but the pressure I was under blinded me as to how close to the edge I was. I had a major meltdown and spent 2 weeks over xmas basically in a catatonic state with absolutely terrible anxiety attacks. I slowly dragged myself back out of the hole, but I sensed a change in my wife. She was cold, uncaring and distant. Ten days ago she simply disappeared with as many possessions as she could. No explanation, no goodbyes, (even to my mother), blocked all phone number and social media links. As far as I knew she was dead. She contacted me last night and basically said that she can't cope with my issues, that she doesn't believe that depression/anxiety is real and that all I need to do is take control of my mind. No matter how I tried to explain that depressions robs my ability of control, she wouldn't have it. I am a broken man. Is this a cultural issue with her? Has anyone else experienced this in an inter-racial marriage? I need to understand why?

blueskye What makes you proud of your ethnicity?
  • replies: 14

Hi everyone! This is my first time starting a thread and I'm excited to hear what others have to say about - What makes you proud of your ethnicity? Please take a couple of minutes to reflect about this topic and then share with others. Australia is ... View more

Hi everyone! This is my first time starting a thread and I'm excited to hear what others have to say about - What makes you proud of your ethnicity? Please take a couple of minutes to reflect about this topic and then share with others. Australia is a gorgeous place to live in and I'm proud to be an Australia. What makes me proud of my Chinese ethnicity though is that Chinese food is amazing! Dumplings, Dim Sum, etc.... some of the food looks wacky but gosh, very yummy! I am also super proud of my parents who immigrated to Australia. Dad is fluent with English because he studied in Canada but my Mum came to Australia without knowing how to speak or read English. Dad worked in a white people dominated place, so he worked extra hard to prove his worth. Mum raised her 3 young daughters in a country that was foreign to her. Sometimes when I get mad at my mum when we have a disagreement, I try and remind myself of the difficulties she faced in the past. If someone chucked me in a foreign country where I had to live, buy groceries, catch public transport (mum didn't know how to drive for the first couple of years), didn't know the language.... that's scary! My parents make me proud to be Chinese. Your turn!

Luce_M New to Australia, different expectations
  • replies: 5

Hello, this is my first time using this kind of forums, never used them before. I am currently feeling quite out of place, lonely and lost in Australia. I moved here to be close to my husband, we met in Canada and at that time I had already a establi... View more

Hello, this is my first time using this kind of forums, never used them before. I am currently feeling quite out of place, lonely and lost in Australia. I moved here to be close to my husband, we met in Canada and at that time I had already a established life in there, friends and work. I moved here with the expectations that living in here was going to be similar to my experience in Canada. It has almost been a year and I haven't been able to make close friendships. My husband works in the medical field, I am most of the time lonely at home. I initially started working in customer service at a luxury store and unfortunately developed a lot of anxiety and depression. I faced quite a lot of discrimination at work and was generally excluded from the team, I was the only foreigner. I am currently at a different job which is from home, it does not enable me to build relationships with other people in person but it has been better than my previous job. Since it is customer service sometimes I get discouraged by uncomfortable comments about my accent, however, I am trying my best to not take it personally. My husband has been really supportive since I arrived in here and even got me a dog to not feel as lonely. I have been trying my best to join volunteering groups and extracurricular activities, however, I kind of have developed anxiety to be in social groups, I have started to feel scared to interact with others due to my past experiences. I have had some sessions of counselling which were helpful. I have not really have much contact with my family and friends due to the time difference, I miss them so much at times that at nights I just want to cry. Right now, I just feel that my motivation to stay in here is my husband and my dog. Everyday I am feeling lost and recently I have thought about leaving Australia for several months to be with my family. I will sincerely appreciate any recommendations. Thank you so much for reading.