Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 50

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Should I move back to my old school?

replies: 1

Hi, I'm a Year 9 student who's not too fond of my new schoolSo I recently moved to a private school that was about 30 minutes away by car. Meaning I would wake up really early in order to get ready for school, which was one reason I didn't like it.The second reason was that the school as it turns out was quite racist. I didn't fit in anywhere because a case came up recently where I was called the N-word. I, of course, reported it to the teachers and they gave punishment the student. But now almost everyone in my grade thinks I'm a snitch.The people I do hang out with are as bad because they vape and get into trouble multiple times a day, even trying to invite me into some of their shenanigans.The reason I joined the new school was that my old school had a terrible reputation and there were students in my class that didn't let me work. So when my parents decided on transferring me to a better school jumped at the opportunity.I complained to my mum about the new school to the point where she asked the office if we could switch campuses or get a refund on the schoolNote that this is a very expensive private school with two campusesSo they put on me on a waiting list to switch campuses and gave us a card if we wanted to get a refund.During this stage, she was sick of all my issues so she finally asked me if I wanted to go back to my old school, now that we could possibly get a refund.I didn't want to rush into a decision as I did with the new school so I thought it through with old friends. And as it turned out, the bad people in my old school class had been expelledI don't want to wait to switch campuses because I definitely won't get a spot in the other campus this year and I can't risk going through the same thing I did with this campus. It's safer if I just went back to my old school. It is very cheap, very close to my house, and I know I will be fine with friends because I was friends with almost everyone in my grade. And there are few really good teachers if I needed help with anythingThe reason I don't know if I should go back is that my dad and siblings are not on-board with me going back. They want me to learn to survive in this school and have a good education. But what's the point of a good education if you don't want to go to school every day?

Emotional dilemma

replies: 2

Hi everyone. I'm in a bit of an emotional dilemma right now regarding this guy that I'm friends with. We met about seven months ago last year at uni, and it was very obvious right from the get-go that we had feelings for each other. After a couple of weeks we both told each other that we liked each other and we spent more time hanging out at uni together, lots of hugging and kissing, very romantic kinda stuff. However I started to get anxious because it felt like it wasn't really going anywhere beyond that or wasn't gonna turn into an actual relationship, so I asked him where he thought this was progressing and where it would go in the future. His response was that he was actually emotionally confused and in all honesty saw me as a friend, which came as a massive shock to both myself and my friends who had been around the two of us because of everything he'd said to me and the way he'd acted around me up until that point. For the rest of the uni semester I didn't talk to him, but when the four month break started I messaged him and asked if he still wanted to be friends, which he said yes to. Over the uni break we would text pretty much every day, but it made it difficult for me to actually work through my feelings and get over him, but spending time not seeing him in person was definitely beneficial and I was nearly over him. About four weeks ago, we went back to uni and now I have to see him twice a week in lectures. Most of the time he comes and sits with me. My issue used to be wondering if he ever even did have real feelings for me and wasn't just confused like he said, but even my counsellor who I see told me she believes he did have real romantic feelings for me. The issue now is that he's giving me mixed signals- he doesn't really talk to me much outside of uni at all, but in lectures when he sits with me he'll find lots of accidental ways to touch me and leans right up against me when he talks to me, like he's trying to grab my attention. I've also heard from some other girls I met at uni that he's not a super awesome person, but I don't want to probe about what happened between them because it's none of my concern. None of my friends are happy with the mixed signals he's giving me right now, and I'm torn because for the most part I'm over him, but being around him still hurts a little bit sometimes. Should I keep being casual friends with him, or should I cut him off?

overbooked, preoccupied, burnt out

replies: 1

Hi there, I hope you're all doing well and looking after yourselves Just need a vent, but I welcome advice, and thank you in advance for the time you've given to reading this. I'm turning 20 this year. I work 2 great jobs, I study my passion at uni, I have a little but wonderful social circle including my loving boyfriend, and I'm going on exchange to study in Japan next semester. I have a loving family however complex, I don't pay rent, I bought my own car, and I'm hopefully getting my Ps this week. I'm extremely grateful for all these things. The only thing I lack is time. But I am so exhausted and overworked. Between job 1, job 2, uni, working through the exchange process, preparing for practical placement for my education course, working towards my Ps, and maintaining all my friendships/relationship... A few days a week I wake up for work at 7am, work from 8:30 to 5, then go home to work my second job 6-8. By the time I eat dinner and shower, I am so tired and have no energy to do anything productive, such as my overflowing uni work that I simply cannot keep up with. I know the simple solutions is just "do less" – but I can't afford to. I can't work less hours because I have to fund my exchange, and everything else is simply mandatory. Another simple solution is to stay up later, but I feel like I've reached the age where I cannot physically or mentally function if I'm tired, so I can't help but go to sleep at my usual bedtime every night (11:30pm). It's gotten to a point where I'm just looking for escapes; skipping class to sleep, reading instead of studying, procrastinating with music or browsing or online shopping, always saying yes to social outings to get away from the constant grind, etc. I know people have it way worse than me, and I'm grateful for all these opportunities. The funny thing is, I've struggled with depression since my early teens, but for the first time I haven't felt depressed in a while despite how much I'm struggling. So there's that! I know this post is a big sob story about how privileged I am, but this isn't sustainable and I can't do it and I don't know what to do to fix this. I wish I could just float away to a little cabin in the woods, and read and paint and bake and write.

How to have an identity.

replies: 4

So I’m 20 and in all honesty I don’t even know where to start when it comes to being the author of my own story so I suppose I’m looking for advice. For a bit of context I’ve tried all sorts of past times from quite literally being in a circus to attending basket weaving classes. From playing violin to climbing mountains. If you’ve ever heard the song ‘when will my life begin’ from the Disney movie Tangled, that’s pretty much me in a nutshell. All that is good and well, but I haven’t made anything of value out of my experiences. The current situation is: I live alone, I have a carte blanche for a social calendar, I’m ok at my uni course but certainly no deans scholar, I’ve saved a bit of money and I own my car. That’s about it. Of course I’m incredibly privileged to have experienced what I have experienced and to have what I have. I spend a lot of time thinking about how I didn’t deserve any of it because there are people that if they’d had my opportunity would have used it to enrich the world and I’ve sort of just let my experiences be useless. I have no idea who I am or what I’m doing and so would appreciate some guidance if you feel you could impart some wisdom. Sincerely,A scrawny, tired, 20 year old who feels like they’re running out of time to find who they are.

Am I good enough?

replies: 2

So I have struggled with my mental health for years now, i am medicated and seek help from professionals when i can afford it. For the past couple of years i have been struggling with my confidence and whether or not i am good enough. I feel like a fraud, I feel like i always start things and never complete them because i actually know nothing. I know that i have completed somethings but in my head it just doesn't count. I feel like i always prevent myself from doing my best because, i don't know, i am scared of what others will think when i fail? I used to be alright at guitar, but i never gave myself the time because the others were better than i ever was so i didn't play as much, I dropped out of high school in year 11 because i couldn't see myself being capable of finishing, I got halfway through a TAFE course and then stopped because i felt like i was never going to remember anything and that everything i had done up until that point had been fake. I am doing another TAFE course at the moment, mostly to try prove to myself that maybe i can do it, but i get SO much help from my Mum and others around me that i feel like i actually don't know what i am doing and i'm very much unable to complete it without the help of others. (I know help is great, but i hate relying on it). All i want is to be able to believe in myself. i want a career that i love and i want to be/feel capable. I want to feel like the others around me, they are so amazing and confident in their work and life. I want to feel like i have a purpose in life, at the moment i just feel like i don't. Everyone else around me has plans and are working towards their career goals. While i am here going job to job, with no idea what i want to do and no belief that i'll ever be able to achieve anything. I am just not sure what to do at this point. All I think about is this and if I will ever be good enough.

socially dissatisfied and struggling to balance university life

replies: 1

I'm a 20 y/o male and have my whole life ahead of me. Im studying what will lead me to my dream job. I have an amazing and supportive girlfriend. I work 3 jobs, volunteer and am generally active in the community. Yet most days i feel pretty lonely. Im so caught up worrying about the things i have to be doing currently to ensure a successful and happy future, yet I'm not feeling happy in the present. My girlfriend is busy (like me) so we don't get to spend much time together. My best friends live in another city and are not good at texting. Where i currently am, i feel as if i don't have any good friends. Everyone i've met, although they are nice, i don't have a connection with. Most people i meet don't have the same priorities as me. I exercise, drink rarely and am usually focusing on work. The people that are like minded to me, feel like competition. Am i really making good choices if I'm constantly feeling socially dissatisfied? If I'm not then what do i sacrifice? i don't want to lose any opportunities as thats what ive been working so hard for.

I feel empty and lost

replies: 1

This guy had reached out too me over social media in 2021. He is about 5 years older than me. I’m still in high school. anyway i very quickly became attracted to him and felt like i had a real connection. Me and him hung out and i started to develop strong feelings towards him but i always knew in the back of my mind that he didn’t feel the same. We engaged in sexual activities most of the times we hung out which i was fine with. But it was never consistent talking between periods of time we wernt together. It would be on and off. Whenever we hung out i got hits of happiness and when we wernt together i’d feel alone and depressed. Recently he has gotten into a relationship with a girl and i was quite distraught when i found out. A couple months later he messaged me (while he’s still in a relationship) and asked me to hang out. we hung out and we had sex. He cheated on his girlfriend with me. i’m not sure what this means. does he still care for me? does he like me more than her? I’m really lost and i’m feeling really distraught and stressed about the whole situation. Someone please help

Venting

replies: 3

So recently I have been struggling to cope with the pressure placed on me by others. I'm constantly expected to get into a great university and everyone around me believes I can do it except me. Its been hard for me for a very long time to get into good studying habits and become motivated but as of recently, I have managed to commit to a schedule but every day I'm scared that I will lose my motivation and just drop off into old habits. It also does not help that my parents are putting pressure on me to do well in some subjects and that they are really pushing me to great lengths to get into the uni I and they want. For example, they want me to approach people at my school to get a statement of support for something but I hate asking and struggled to approach people especially adults with particular matters. My parents say that I'm mute and don't know how to speak up for myself and they are right but I do not know how to fix that like when I was younger (Year 7ish) I could not even look people in the eye so am I supposed to speak to people! Not to mention that my parents are my only support system right now since my old friend group dropped me and the people I hang out with now although nice it's obvious they are close and I'm an outsider. Like I just do not know what to do in regards to my parents, university, and like just speaking to people in general. Then there is body image but mainly body weight. As of recently I have been really picky with my weight and I have tried dieting in the past but after losing the weight I would gain it right back. I have turned to search for more extreme measures to lose weight as well but I just wanna lose weight so badly. Not only that I can't even tell if I'm just being lazy or just unmotivated because everyone around has told me I'm just lazy and I cannot tell the difference. Also anytime my parents comment on my weight or make comments relating to food I get really angry and irritated and defensive about it. Plus at school, I have become more nervous about eating in front of others outside of my "friend group" and I try hiding my food. Sometimes my mum will also make comments like when I went dress shopping for formal she would say "if you lost like 3 kgs the dress will look better on you" among other things that make it seem she is interested in how I look but on most occasions it just makes me feel self-conscious.Honestly, any advice would be appreciated, and thanks for listening.

Compulsive Behaviours and Stressful Thoughts

replies: 1

Hi Everybody.Lately, I have been feeling and doing things that are strange compared to how I used to be. I have compulsive behaviours, such as swiping up on my phone to check if I have any tabs open every few seconds, picking at my skin continuously and some other behaviours similar to this. In addition to this, I have been feeling a lot of self-doubt about my abilities, obsessing and not forgiving myself for small mistakes. When someone used to make an annoying or mean comment, I would just brush it off. But now, I cry about it and think that everything mean people say about me is true and that I am a fraud, even though these people barely know me. Even little jokes by my family calling me dumb when I do something silly affects me, even though I know they don't mean it and I used to laugh about it before. At first I thought that I am just going through a rough patch, but it is getting worse. These feelings and behaviours reduce my motivation to do anything, which in turn makes me feel lazy and unworthy. I just feel stuck on what to do and where to go from here because I am not really sure what's going on.

Always arguing with parents.

replies: 4

Towards the end of 2021 my mental health was at the lowest point it has been in my entire life, filled with intrusive thoughts such as suicidal thoughts and major feelings of worthlessness etc. These were brought on by many factors including lots of arguments with my parents I decided to see a professional about these feelings for the first time and it really helped. Recently, I have noticed similar occurring. Although im now 17, the dynamics between my parents and I have not changed. Coming home from school every day is miserable as I prepare to be shouted at some time in the evening by usually my dad. Neither my mum nor dad knew how I felt back at the end of 2021 as I went by myself to see a professional (school counsellor.) I'm worried that I will go down the same path and end up feeling the same way as I did back then and im scared. It's the same thing every evening though, it starts of as a small conflict and somehow ends up into a shouting match. I'll admit that some of the conflicts is completely my fault but in the heat of the moment I can't seem to control myself. I want to talk to my parents about how I feel but I don't know how. I also want to talk to a school counsellor again but don't know how (the last one was booked by a teacher I felt comfortable talking to.) I know my parents love me and give me amazing opportunities but it's hard to see that sometimes when I'm always in conflict with them.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 50

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Should I move back to my old school? replies: 1

Emotional dilemma replies: 2

overbooked, preoccupied, burnt out replies: 1

How to have an identity. replies: 4

Am I good enough? replies: 2

socially dissatisfied and struggling to balance university life replies: 1

I feel empty and lost replies: 1

Venting replies: 3

Compulsive Behaviours and Stressful Thoughts replies: 1

Always arguing with parents. replies: 4