Young people

Loneliness & Burn out - losing friends in your 20s

replies: 3

Hi there, My name is Mad, This is my first time on the forums, and I am a 20yo woman struggling with overthinking and feelings of loneliness and depression. I feel lost, lonely and depressed and I am not sure where to go from here. I have lost all pa... View more

Hi there, My name is Mad, This is my first time on the forums, and I am a 20yo woman struggling with overthinking and feelings of loneliness and depression. I feel lost, lonely and depressed and I am not sure where to go from here. I have lost all passion and have no friends my age anymore. I graduated high school in 2023 with no plans of going to uni as I was unsure what I wanted to pursue and did not want to spend years and thousands of dollars on an education I may not use. I went straight into the workforce from age 18 starting as a sales rep, then a customer service officer and then worked for my local council in the regulatory field. I felt like I finally found a place that I belonged and was able to make a difference, then things started to go downhill. I ended a relationship with my partner of 2.5 years, after enduring emotional and sexual abuse, however I felt as though I should've stayed because he was familiar and a 'safe' person. My really supportive boss left and her replacement was very rude and undermining and made me feel insignificant and worthless. Which lead to me leaving the job that I was very passionate about and gave me purpose.One of my best friends randomly ghosted me after we had made plans to go to the races together. Later I realised that she had removed/ blocked me on numerous social media platforms and I am left wondering why? what did I do wrong? I moved away for a job opportunity, however learnt that I was not passionate about this line of work and over time my co-worker started making jabs and comments at me and eventually my bosses were joining in and I felt as though I was being bullied in the workplace. My best friend of 8 years had gone through a traumatic break up and I was with her and supporting her as much as I physically and mentally was able to and I got to see her spark come back, but shortly after I saw her beginning to take stimulants and hallucinogens. I expressed my concern to her about the drug use but she brushed me off. She then became very distant until she no longer speaks to me. My grandfather passed away and it was a very emotional and draining time for my entire family and I felt like I had no support system and I have not had the capacity to properly grieve this. I have lost my passion, my motivation and my friends. I feel like I have no one left and I am unsure of how to make new friends and get my passion back. Sometimes I question if I even know who I am anymore.

Lack of motivation in life, inability to look after myself, clean, eat, wash belongings

replies: 16

Hi All! I am new here and had a search through the forum but could not find what I was looking for, so apologies if I am repeating a topic covered. I have been diagnosed with both anxiety and depression previously, and although I am feeling much bett... View more

Hi All! I am new here and had a search through the forum but could not find what I was looking for, so apologies if I am repeating a topic covered. I have been diagnosed with both anxiety and depression previously, and although I am feeling much better now than a few years ago and have a will to live and succeed, I find it difficult to look after myself. I live out of home and can keep a job (I'm in my mid twenties) but I just can't get myself organised. I was just wondering if other people found it hard to look after themselves. I always try and get all excited and start up a new regime of how I am going to eat well and be productive but it never seems to happen. I regularly skip meals because I don't have the energy to cook, or the motivation. I go on shopping sprees and buy the food and then just end up throwing it out because it goes bad. I often just et snacks because I don't have to prepare anything. I also smoke heavily so that I stop feeling hungry, because that is easier than feeding myself. I can't see the floor of my room or any surfaces. I just don't seem to be able to clean up after myself and then I find my room causes me anxiety and makes me upset. I can only keep the other areas of my house clean because I don't want to annoy my housemate. I don't seem to be able to do it for myself. I avoid having people over because I find my room so embarrassing (the same thing happens in my car and handbag). My room fills up with rubbish and dirty dishes. I go on a cleaning spree sometimes, but the next day I am back to dumping things on the floor! I just seem to procrastinate everything in my life. I can have a whole week off and just spend it sleeping in till the afternoon or watching TV all day. I don't go to the shops until they are almost shut just because it takes me that long to get out of the house. I can make it to work on time, but I cannot time manage for myself. Only when someone else makes me. I am always late to things (significantly) and this frustrates everyone (including myself!). I want to change, but all these things in my life just seem too hard. I can have washing build up for months! I just don't know why I have no motivation and can't seem to get any. I'm not sure if this is linked to my history of anxiety and depression or if it is something else. I was wondering if anyone had similar symptoms and if they had found a way to overcome them. Thank you for your help.

Worsening procrastination and functioning at uni and work

replies: 3

For most of this year, I’ve been struggling a lot with studying and general motivation. I’ve always procrastinated, but deadlines used to be enough to push me into action. Lately that hasn’t been working, which is starting to worry me. I avoid uni wo... View more

For most of this year, I’ve been struggling a lot with studying and general motivation. I’ve always procrastinated, but deadlines used to be enough to push me into action. Lately that hasn’t been working, which is starting to worry me. I avoid uni work most of the time, even when I’m stressed about falling behind. I end up procrastinating, distracting myself by doom scrolling for hours, and then feeling worse afterwards. I’ve already dropped one course and I’m struggling to keep up with the rest. It’s not just studying either, everyday tasks like cleaning my room and staying organised feel difficult too, and it’s starting to affect my job as well. I still care and want to do well, but when I try to start things I tend to shut down or avoid them instead of acting on it - and then tell myself I don’t care to feel better. This has been happening alongside low mood/self-esteem, anxiety, and some unhealthy coping habits. My thoughts overwhelm me most of the time. I reached out to the university counselling service but didn’t follow up because I wasn’t sure whether this is something counselling could help with, or whether I should be approaching it differently. I still enjoy parts of my life like sport, and hanging out with friends. I guess I’m trying to understand what’s going on and what kind of support would be appropriate?

Burnout?

replies: 4

Hi everyone,I'm currently in Year 12 doing a really heavy STEM workload (Methods, Physics, Chemistry, Biology) and aiming for medicine. For the last few months, I've been stressing a bit, and my body often hits a wall. Right now, I am dealing with fa... View more

Hi everyone,I'm currently in Year 12 doing a really heavy STEM workload (Methods, Physics, Chemistry, Biology) and aiming for medicine. For the last few months, I've been stressing a bit, and my body often hits a wall. Right now, I am dealing with fatigue, brain fog, and this tension in my head and jaw. Sometimes gravity feels so heavy that my body physically really doesn't want to move and just screams at me to do nothing. I'm fluctuating between feeling completely overwhelmed/anxious/guilty and just feeling totally numb, apathetic, and unable to hold my attention. I've been making stupid, easily avoidable mistakes on my schoolwork, and life in general, and my gut has been constantly upset too. I had a weekend of "rest" but I woke up on Monday feeling exactly the same, if not worse, because the line between resting and avoiding the massive pile of work is completely blurred. I’ve wanted to do medicine my whole life because I love human biology and want to help people through vulnerable moments. But feeling like this makes me terrified that I don't have what it takes to be a medical professional. If I can't handle a heavy Year 12 week without it feeling like my body shutting down, how am I supposed to handle a hospital? I feel like my brain is screaming at me to just give up on schoolwork, but I’m terrified of failing or getting stuck in a pathway that won't satisfy me. Has anyone else experienced this kind of physical "freeze" response from academic stress? How do you break the cycle when resting just makes the guilt and the deadlines worse? I just feel so drained and trapped and afraid of the future.

Anger and frustration

replies: 2

Hi guysim a 21 year old studying at uni. I moved out of home from regional vic at 18 to move to Melbourne to study. I have recently had issue (past 3-5 months) of just being constantly angry. I struggle with chronic treatment resistant eczema and I f... View more

Hi guysim a 21 year old studying at uni. I moved out of home from regional vic at 18 to move to Melbourne to study. I have recently had issue (past 3-5 months) of just being constantly angry. I struggle with chronic treatment resistant eczema and I first noticed I was getting increasingly angry when I would have outbursts at friends for suggesting a treatment option or something they’d seen online they thought could help with my skin.my mother has Huntingtons disease and a few members of my close family do too. I’ve known about this since I was a kid so I don’t think it should be affecting me mentally as I’m not too close with my mother due to her own anger issues I’ve had to deal with growing up. I had issues with her throwing things and screaming up until I moved out and last time I went home I was recently out of a break up where I was cheated on and my mother and I got into a random arguement about my hair (I’m not even sure why) but she ended up yelling at me calling me a selfish b!tch and told me to drive home. (It’s a 4 hour drive to my place). im a completely independent person meaning I pay rent, bills, for my car, food etc etc all on my own while I study so I constantly have the stress of that and because my lease is ending and my housemate is moving out I’m scared I have nowhere to go at the end of the year as I don’t have the money to pay a new deposit and first month of rent (for the houses I can afford this will end up being 3-4k). I used to live in a share house but I felt very isolated and felt like I couldn’t even use the bathroom in the place I lived in and am not willing to do that again.does anybody know anything that can help me relieve stress? Or even manage my anger? Im becoming really bad at focusing aswell with my uni work, and im so close to being done (end of the year I finish) so I really can’t afford to stuff it up now. I feel like im letting all my friends down with my outbursts of yelling and insulting them. But when im upset and angry I can’t think about what im actually doing.help please

How do I tell my parents?

replies: 8

I really need someone to convince me to tell my parents.i know I need to but I physically can’t bring myself to tell them. so I’m in year 9 and just had exams I thought i did really well but I got two C’s on my math test and I’m really disappointed w... View more

I really need someone to convince me to tell my parents.i know I need to but I physically can’t bring myself to tell them. so I’m in year 9 and just had exams I thought i did really well but I got two C’s on my math test and I’m really disappointed with that. Like my dad. I was on call with my friend and he came into my room and told me to hang up and come to the living room, so I do and him and my mum are there. They start talking about how I have way too much screen time. I agree but I use my phone to talk to my friends and to escape from everything because I’m struggling. Then my dad said that he’s disappointed in me because of my bad grade. (Normally I get A’s) he then blamed it on my phone. I don’t know what it was but after both my parents talked with me I was really upset. I’ve been really depressed for a while (since year 7) and it keeps coming in waves. I also think I have ADHD and that’s why I struggled on the exam or doing the washing because I literally can’t bring myself to doing it. (I saw a website and it explained it like if you were to put your hand on a hot stove. Like you can’t bring yourself to do it and that explains how it feels to me really well.) but I’m not sure if that matters. I find it really hard to talk to my family or anyone really so I’m really glad that I have this option. My family (they’re amazing and I love them) are really hard to talk with, it’s the type of household where if someone gets upset you apologise “I’m sorry for what I did and it wont happen again” and then everyone moves on but I can’t just move on. Even my friends are noticing that there’s something wrong. there’s plenty other things that are making me upset and anxious but it’s ok.I really need to talk to someone because things are getting worse and I’m tired of trying. I promise I won’t do anything I’ll regret but I really need help but I can’t ask for it.im sorry but thank you for seeing me.

struggling in uni

replies: 1

hi everyone, i hope everyone is having a good day or night this is my first time sharing here. i’m 18 years old and i can’t help but continue to worry about my career path. i’m currently studying in uni and undertaking law school. as nice as it sound... View more

hi everyone, i hope everyone is having a good day or night this is my first time sharing here. i’m 18 years old and i can’t help but continue to worry about my career path. i’m currently studying in uni and undertaking law school. as nice as it sounds, i’m really finding it difficult to keep pushing through. there are days where i want to drop out real bad. i’m not sure whether i have the qualities nor the motivation to become an attorney one day. i also failed a class last semester and i haven’t told anyone because i’m extremely ashamed of it. it will delay my graduation since i also dropped another class from last semester. i don’t know how to bring this up to my parents, i have kept it hidden for quite some time now. i’m scared that i’m basically going to have to repeat my entire first year as a second year because i’m taking a class this semester, where 30% of the students failed last year. i don’t really know what to do. i want to drop out but if i do, i don’t have anything else to do. i can switch to another course but i’m not passionate about anything and i have already been charged for a student loan. i kinda don’t have a choice but to keep sucking it up but it’s making me feel drained lately. if you’ve reached until the end, thank you for taking your time to read my thoughts and any suggestions or advice would help. have a good day or night

Uni Stress

replies: 2

I’ve noticed a lot of posts lately about uni stress, exams, burnout, and feeling unsure about why we are even at uni in the first place. I just wanted to share some advice I received recently, in case it helps someone else.I spoke with a very accompl... View more

I’ve noticed a lot of posts lately about uni stress, exams, burnout, and feeling unsure about why we are even at uni in the first place. I just wanted to share some advice I received recently, in case it helps someone else.I spoke with a very accomplished and established psychologist who has experience across podcasts, research, publications, and clinical work, and one thing she really highlighted was the importance of journalling. At first, journalling can sound a bit simple or cliché, but she explained that it can actually be a really useful way to slow your thoughts down and process what you are feeling, especially when everything feels overwhelming.When we are stressed, it is easy for thoughts to pile up in our heads and feel bigger than they actually are. Writing them down can help make those thoughts feel more organised and less intense. It can also help you notice patterns, like what is triggering your stress, what you are avoiding, or what you actually need support with.Journalling does not have to be aesthetic, perfectly written, or something you do every single day. It can be as simple as writing a few sentences about how you are feeling, what is worrying you, what you are grateful for, or what one small thing is that you can do today. Sometimes even writing “I feel overwhelmed and I don’t know where to start” is enough to create a bit of space between you and the stress.Something I found helpful from the conversation was the idea that journalling is not about solving everything immediately. It is more about checking in with yourself and giving your mind somewhere to put all the pressure, instead of carrying it around constantly.So if you are feeling stressed, unmotivated, or unsure about uni right now, maybe try writing things down, even just for five minutes. You might be surprised by how much clearer things feel once they are out of your head and on paper.You are definitely not the only one feeling this way, and sometimes the smallest habits can make things feel a little more manageable.

Changing Degree, woes about general young adult living

replies: 4

Sorry if this reads like a rant but I’ve been the most stressed in my life for the past few weeks. I have recently decided to switch out of engineering because I hate (and frankly not that good at) the technical cad/math side of things. Up to this po... View more

Sorry if this reads like a rant but I’ve been the most stressed in my life for the past few weeks. I have recently decided to switch out of engineering because I hate (and frankly not that good at) the technical cad/math side of things. Up to this point I had never really thought about my career, I’ve always just had the plan to go into engineering since I’m ok at maths and science (at least at a high school level). I think I was stunted since I could cruise through schooling without having to study while still achieving good grades. Every career path I look into is either going through periods of low hiring or are going through drastic changes due to ai (idk if it’s just recession market or it’s going to be like this forever). I was potentially looking at accounting or data science but both of those industries seem to be in the gutter for entry level due to offshoring and ai. The only career that I could see as enjoying and has ok job prospects are geology or social work. That excludes the matter of me graduating at 23-24 while my peers are already years into their careers. All of this accumulates to me feeling like a bit of a failure, wondering if anybody has similar experiences or words of wisdom, I’m desperate…

Pressure

replies: 3

Hii angels, I understand pure joy is one of those rare things that you can't just find you just come across it.Yet I barely have any of those happy moments either.I look like I do, constantly smiling and laughing, making jokes.But its never genuine, ... View more

Hii angels, I understand pure joy is one of those rare things that you can't just find you just come across it.Yet I barely have any of those happy moments either.I look like I do, constantly smiling and laughing, making jokes.But its never genuine, it's more like an act and performance.It's exhausting hiding my emotions from everyone.The pressure constantly feels like it builds up and it feels like I have nobody to cry too, to lye on their shoulders and talk about my struggles my real raw emotions.I've perfected this mask, this performance and act.I could cry in the school bathroom for hours and minutes then walk into 6th period smiling and laughing.Crying at night, wanting to die, not in the casual way people just say easily, in the way that I genuinely write goodbye letters and wonder what would happen if I die.There's things about me that people can't understand and stories that I had that no 12 year old should go through.But for now nobody will nothing my tear stained eyes.The ones that hold betrayal, anger, anguish and this ambigiuous pain that nobody my age will understand.As I'm crying writing this, already waiting for tomorrow where I smile and joke with my brother, ask what's for breakfast, I know nobody will understand me and see the mask slip.Notice the forced laughter matched with my emotionless eyes. -Dollie

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Loneliness & Burn out - losing friends in your 20s

replies: 3

Lack of motivation in life, inability to look after myself, clean, eat, wash belongings

replies: 16