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Anxiety

Anxiety is the most common mental health condition in Australia. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with anxiety.

Guest_59016337 Anxiety is running my life
  • replies: 0

Hi, this is my first time posting. I have anxiety and depression and they go hand in hand. The biggest struggle I am having is anxiety around work. I had a horrible experience as a graduate going into a new career a couple years ago and ended up leav... View more

Hi, this is my first time posting. I have anxiety and depression and they go hand in hand. The biggest struggle I am having is anxiety around work. I had a horrible experience as a graduate going into a new career a couple years ago and ended up leaving after I couldn’t take the pressure of being told I wasn’t progressing quickly enough to their standard. I was humiliated in front of my colleagues by the teaching coordinator I have never in my life felt so embarrassed and like I knew nothing I felt like a scholars primary school student. I quit just shortly after that because I couldn’t handle coming home and crying after every shift. I asked for more support but was told they thought they were already doing that. I work with a psychologist but I still suffer to muster any confidence I work in a different job but within the same industry. I had a break between jobs so I have been in my current job for over a 1.5 years. But I struggle with any kind of stress it sets my anxiety into over drive. I feel like I can’t bare going to work so I have frequent time off but I need the income so it puts a strain on other parts of my life. I feel like I can’t get back to normal since before my grad job. I have applied for many other jobs and had interviews but I don’t go because I’m too scared they will think I’m not smart enough or I’ll make a fool of myself I just have no confidence. Today I had a great opportunity and I let it slip through my fingers because I convinced myself I wouldn’t be able to do the job it’d be too stressful or I couldn’t handle working long hours multiple days during the week. Now I’m just disappointed in myself I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore and I hate the fact this has happened to me. If anyone has any helpful advice I’d like to hear it. thanks for taking the time to read my spiel.

Guest_34994239 Just need to put it out there
  • replies: 1

Hi, sorry I’ve never really done this before. I just feel so alone right now and I have such a supportive family but they just don’t understand. I have an incredibly stressful job and at the moment nothing is going well and I’m not in a position to l... View more

Hi, sorry I’ve never really done this before. I just feel so alone right now and I have such a supportive family but they just don’t understand. I have an incredibly stressful job and at the moment nothing is going well and I’m not in a position to leave and my team is looking to me to keep things held together, the guilt would be too much. I’m just sitting, crying, feeling nautious and not wanting to sleep because I don’t want to wake up and go to work tomorrow. I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to who gets what I am going through everyday and I feel like I’m going to be alone forever. I’m sorry this has been such a word spew I just needed to get it out into the world. If you got this far, thank you for reading.

dear_jieon I'm done acting fine
  • replies: 2

Ever since Covid My Anxiety spiraled and now it's dangerously high. I would get bullied for existing, liking mainstream music just to fit it, have social media just to fit in, for just being a female and for "being fat" when I'm healthy at best. I ha... View more

Ever since Covid My Anxiety spiraled and now it's dangerously high. I would get bullied for existing, liking mainstream music just to fit it, have social media just to fit in, for just being a female and for "being fat" when I'm healthy at best. I had been sent d3ath thr3ats on Discord from this random girl telling me that I was unwanted and that I should h_ng mys3lf (this girl doesnt even know me), i had been manipulated and a target of being a liar during Primary school to the point nobody could even believe my side on of stories even with evidence only because my jealous fake friends wants my life to be miserable. Now I get bullied for the people i hang, when i hang with a popular person, i get bashed or neglected, when i hang with an outcast, i would be called a rat. I would even getting bullied for not know how to play Basketball when I dislike the sport, like i nearly cried. I would ask questions since my head would blank out only for students to groan at me and say that "i'm dumb". If i try to be confident i will get bullied for it again because it will come off as "attention seeking". I feel like I wanna go genderless but if I do I will also get Bullied for being different. It's like i dont even belong on the world, i cant even talk face to face about my struggles without tearing up or sounding like a drowning rat with my mouth trembling, scared i will be judged for it. I cant even make eye contact for 3 seconds without looking away time to time. And then i get bullied for having a iPod as a type of Phone Replacement, not having fancy technology or a clean bedroom, i would even get bullied for wearing clothing which "isnt female". And it doesnt help that I go to the city to stay with my nan for the holidays who would make me feel even more worst as she wants me to be feminine so badly and i dont wanna say no incase she says false info about my family (like she did in the pass). And since I live in a small town i would be scared if something which is family business goes out to the public, i would be shamed on and harassed. I'm just scared of everything and I just need some valid advice.

Depression

Depression affects people in Australia every day. Share your own story and learn about other member’s experiences with depression.

bubba Feel so lost
  • replies: 1

Hi, Am a complete newbie here, so forgive me if Im not posting in the right spot. F48 married and no kids.The last few months have been a complete struggle and I don’t know whats wrong. Am not happy with my life at the moment. It’s a bag of mixed emo... View more

Hi, Am a complete newbie here, so forgive me if Im not posting in the right spot. F48 married and no kids.The last few months have been a complete struggle and I don’t know whats wrong. Am not happy with my life at the moment. It’s a bag of mixed emotions and I ride the waves of ups and downs everyday. I have told no one I have been feeling this way. Not even my best friends, husband or my own family. I wake up when hubby goes to work, and when he leaves I can easily sleep another couple of hours. I currently don’t work. When I do wake up, it feels like it’s a real struggle. The house is a mess, it’s not a huge mess but could def be better, but I just feel so overwhelmed I just leave it be. I’m bored at home, but then I have always liked my own company too. I may go out and get a few needed essentials, but just come home again and lay on the bed, and be on my phone, probably sleep again another couple of hours before hubby comes home from work. All of my closest friends are interstate or overseas. I can’t seem to “gel” with anyone local. And once I do find someone who could be friends… they say they are leaving soon to travel around Oz, or are just too busy to meet up. i miss having deep and meaningful conversations with people about anything. (Other than my husband) And ones I feel drawn to are of the opposite sex and married or long term relationships but then that makes it awkward too. But I have no desire to cheat etc.. I just miss connecting with people. I have no friends locally. Not a single one. We are in a social club and I’m on the committee because I have nothing else do to. And I just simply did it, as I have all the time the world to help out. I feel it’s the only thing that gives me purpose in life at the moment. i keep cancelling upcoming medical appointments probably for the last 6mths. I just can’t be bothered with anything. Its making me more sad, as I realise I need help, but don’t know who to ask, what questions to ask, and I really dont want to be put on medications. i suppose you could say fear of the unknown. I just feel, sad, down, depressed, overwhelmed, lonely, lost just about every single day lately. And I hate it. I’ve lost the old me somewhere along the way and I want and need it to change. Or is it just simply perimenopause lol… far out 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️thanks for reading.

Hazels Parents and depression
  • replies: 2

I'm 16 and have been feeling depressed for a long while now and my parents don't care, I try on many occasions to bring up the topic because I'm at the point where I'm having suicide thoughts but they just add more fuel to the fire and I can't take i... View more

I'm 16 and have been feeling depressed for a long while now and my parents don't care, I try on many occasions to bring up the topic because I'm at the point where I'm having suicide thoughts but they just add more fuel to the fire and I can't take it any more I'm trying ways to try and cope

JJ1981 WANTING TO FINALLY VENT MY TRUE SITUATION
  • replies: 3

Well…I may be 43 years old. I’m supposed to be enjoying the best years of my life, living on my own terms, getting respect from people.But, I happen to be one of those people who keep “falling through the cracks” in Australia (as the Aussie patriots ... View more

Well…I may be 43 years old. I’m supposed to be enjoying the best years of my life, living on my own terms, getting respect from people.But, I happen to be one of those people who keep “falling through the cracks” in Australia (as the Aussie patriots would say - Happy Australia Day, by the way!). But if you understand my story (and it’s a long one), you would appreciate that it’s really a matter of having cracks made in front of me then being pushed through them! A lot of cracks…Despite me being quite smart, hard working and competent, I ended up in a profession that is thankless, should have paid me better, should have gotten a lot more respect and is now infested with backstabbers as my colleagues. I became burned out and started to veer away from full time commitments because of this lack of social, professional and financial respect.I wanted to start a new life in a new city. Although I was very grateful to have been there, I did not improve my income, make any real friends or find love. I did not get any increase in credibility in myself as a person, man, and future protector and provider. I had to resettle back in my old city (of which I despise so much because of the arrogance of its people there). Even that was not enough to stop my family from barraging me with criticisms about how weak, ungrateful and disloyal I was by wanting to move away from the people in my old city. My mother told me that this arrogance “happens everywhere”, is normal and is not allowed to be countered against - as a matter of being “nice and respectful”. And that I was “ABANDONING” them, which was never true!Being nice and respectful to a people in an Australian state costing me 12 years of my adult life, a $70,000 HECS debt (that would probably never get paid off), left me without any genuine social connections, no true financial security AND destroyed any credibility I have had with the people I care about?!?!?!I had another argument with her after so many. I now swear to myself that this will be the LAST argument because I am sick and tired of being scared of how she will react. My late father being a kind of enforcer for her didn’t make things any easier (even though he probably knew I was right - but don’t contradict the wife, if you want her to stay loyal!)I’m thinking about splitting my time between my old and new city, but my mother wanted me to STAY BACK because I’m basically seen as a loser! And I’m looking at even more criticism from my family!Despite me seeing one of the best psychiatrists in Australia, being on two separate mental health medications and being a patient in two mental hospitals, this is the legacy of which I am really trying to shake off but don’t think I can ever recover from. Me having a recent broken leg didn’t make things any better - I never want it to happen again. On top of all health problems related to my psychological stress ranging from obesity (of which I worked really hard to drop) to sleep apnoea, to depression and reactive anxiety, to testosterone deficiency.And, if that was not enough, I did not that there were some occasions when (sigh) some minor suicidal thoughts “tried” to enter my head. That had me REALLY scared! I’m crying just typing the last sentence. There is no way that I would think about committing it, but people are really trying to make it look that I have to attempt it before people start actually taking me seriously!I am feeling well and truly stuck, alone and scared. And, I feel that I will get into so much trouble, whether I step with my right foot or my left! Me not having anyone to talk to or help me out makes it even harder still. I honestly don’t know how I managed to hold out so well for so long in my life!The only remedy in my life is, really, to make dramatic, rapid and genuine progress in what I want to do with my life, everything from making constant decent money (as in six figures with the inflation happening here) to setting up my own family. But, I feel that any window of opportunity left to set things right is shrinking much faster than I want it to.So sorry to be a burden to anyone trying to read and analyse this, but I don’t know where else to express myself right now.

PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

Rowen13 Unrequited friendships or low self-esteem?
  • replies: 0

How do I know if a friendship is worth it? I told my online friend that I really loved and cared for him as a friend. He told me he liked and cared for me.After knowing him and sharing my darkest moments and secrets, it hurts that the emotional/energ... View more

How do I know if a friendship is worth it? I told my online friend that I really loved and cared for him as a friend. He told me he liked and cared for me.After knowing him and sharing my darkest moments and secrets, it hurts that the emotional/energy level is not reciprocated. I know I have an anxious attachment style and my last girl friend never loved me back either. He knows about this and I have explained how much it hurts and how I worry that the same friendship dynamic is repeating.l'm tired of always being the one that cares more? Should I try to care less or just cut ties with my friend and move on? I'm aware I can't control his feelings but I find because I am going through a difficult time in my life already..it's really affecting my self esteem and mental health.He says he wants the friendship but I wonder if it's better to just cut ties and work on my anxious attachment style. So I can find a friend that I don't continually chase and the emotional investment is more equal.He use to reply and text all the time and now everything I say seems to irritate him and he never initiates contact. I try to get him to see the friendship is already over but he always repeats that he is fighting to keep me in his life.I know in every relationship that someone always feels more but after everything we have shared and the level of trust I put in to letting him see the "real" me...it just hurts that I know deep down that I am disposable to him and all the time spent and conversations meant nothing.Opening your heart and being vulnerable and feeling undervalued just hurts. I know I am the only one keeping the "friendship" alive because, that's not a friendship at all.

EllieEll Sexual Assault - Not sure what to do
  • replies: 1

Hello Everyone, I have recently come to the knowledge and understanding that I was sexually assaulted a few years ago. I was at a work party and I had been drinking. At the end of the night, one of my work colleagues dropped me off at home and walked... View more

Hello Everyone, I have recently come to the knowledge and understanding that I was sexually assaulted a few years ago. I was at a work party and I had been drinking. At the end of the night, one of my work colleagues dropped me off at home and walked inside with me where we had sex. We were both over the age of legal consent. I just assumed that because we had both been drinking alcohol, it was not considered to be assault. In the last few days I have realised this is not the case. This person had been interested in me for a while at work and I had made it CRYSTAL clear that the feelings were NOT reciprocated and nothing was going to happen between us. I knew he was married which automatically made him off limits but also, I was just not interested. We lost touch for a couple of years but recently got in contact again. Since that night he has continued to make it very obvious that he is STILL interested, and I have continued to tell him that I am not. A friend pointed out to me a few days ago that he sexually assaulted me. They are 100% right. If I was sober, it NEVER would've happened. I barely remember a thing about that night and I hadn't had more than 3 drinks, which leads me to believe my drink was spiked, although I don't think it was by him. I chatted to him on messenger yesterday and asked him about the night it happened. He said he has a pretty clear memory of it all and what happened back at my house. It's clear in his mind that he thinks I wanted it, but also that he is very much aware that it wouldn't have if I was sober and that it will never happen again. The fact that he was able to describe my body in detail, what we did in my bedroom and remembers what I was wearing, shows me that he was far less under the influence than I was. I am NOT okay with this. I don't know what to do with it all now. Thanks for reading.

CurlyLamb Bipolar, PTSD, Depression & Anxiety
  • replies: 4

Hi I knew here. I just need to chat with others who are in similar situations to myself.

Hi I knew here. I just need to chat with others who are in similar situations to myself.

Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

Hopeiskey Needing support
  • replies: 3

Hi I'm new here and not sure where to start. I've been struggling with my mental health recently especially my anxiety. I battle with suicidal ideation and self harming. There's alot going on in my life and despite trying to get support to deal with ... View more

Hi I'm new here and not sure where to start. I've been struggling with my mental health recently especially my anxiety. I battle with suicidal ideation and self harming. There's alot going on in my life and despite trying to get support to deal with things I'm left alone with no help. Anyway I'm hoping to get some support here and maybe learn some new ways of coping.

ThatOneOverThere When power is concentrated in the hands of the few, the actions of the many don't matter.
  • replies: 3

When I look at the world I see a terrible place that is getting worse. In particular, I have noticed that what power I do have to make positive change is being bulldozed by those who benefit from the world staying the same or getting worse. I am watc... View more

When I look at the world I see a terrible place that is getting worse. In particular, I have noticed that what power I do have to make positive change is being bulldozed by those who benefit from the world staying the same or getting worse. I am watching the planet slowly but surely breeze past climate targets to ensure the life is permanently going to be harder and worse. I see genocides happening whilst my government worries about appearing to be too biased against those with power. And what is worst of all, I see people who actively want to make the world a place hostile towards people because it makes their own lives slightly easier. It is tiring to see nothing but bad things happening and knowing I cannot do anything to change it. What is more frustrating is that no-one seems to understand my anger towards this matter. When I describe my feelings of being upset at seeing my world turn into a cesspit, people tell me to focus on the small things. I hear people say "worry about yourself", or "small changes add up" or other nonsense that does absolutely nothing to change the status quo. For every meaningful thing I do, there is another person undermining my actions because they don't want to give up anything to make the world better. I hate being on this planet. Seeing the backwardness. Being told to ignore what I cannot change, even though these things still affect me. I'm tired of knowing that no matter how much I try to make the world better, I will never be able to actually change anything. I don't want to have pain anymore. I don't want to have to deal with being powerless anymore. This world is hostile to me. There are 8 billion people with over 25 million dying everyday. 1,000 people might even know if I die. Less would care. Last year, I accidentally bought a case of ammo. Too bad I only need 1.

Chronicler-R I genuinely don’t believe the world will get better and I feel stuck.
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone, this is R. I just need somewhere to vent, and this seemed like the safest place to do so. I’ve lost hope in the world getting better. With all the stuff like climate change, conflicts/genocides, discrimination becoming more normalised... View more

Hello everyone, this is R. I just need somewhere to vent, and this seemed like the safest place to do so. I’ve lost hope in the world getting better. With all the stuff like climate change, conflicts/genocides, discrimination becoming more normalised, I’m just sick and tired. And the fact that the only people with the power to actually make a difference couldn’t care less and are actively working to make things worse is the cherry on top.I don’t think I’m gonna have a future. I don’t think any of my loved ones are gonna have a future.I don’t wanna live if I can’t have a happy life, but I don’t want to die and leave my family to face this terrible world alone. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I don’t see a way out. As much as I hate it here, I’m gonna try and survive. I intend to talk to a therapist as well. Things just suck right now.