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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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phightingphan update part 2 ish! Just some of my thoughts :)
  • replies: 0

Hello everybuggy! First off, thanks for being invested (if that's a way to put it) in my journey. I actually never thought people would care to check in on me again; thanks for that. I've been meaning to give an update on the state of my life and see... View more

Hello everybuggy! First off, thanks for being invested (if that's a way to put it) in my journey. I actually never thought people would care to check in on me again; thanks for that. I've been meaning to give an update on the state of my life and seek advice, but I'm pretty prone to forgetfulness lol. Anyway, I've been going to therapy for a while now, and it's nice having a professional to talk to, but um. Nothing has really changed in my life at all, and everything is the same as it was before I even talked to my mother about it. I don't even know what I expected- an answer? No..? Maybe a resolution to these thoughts. Maybe for something to actually click, you know? One of you guys mentioned that one day it'll all click, but God help me if that day doesn't come quickly. Really, I have no idea how I'm supposed to live like this; I feel like I'm lugging a corpse around.My therapist has given me some good advice in the week I have had her (I got a new therapist), which is to eat more, sleep more, and have my vitamin D and iron supplements in the mornings. I feel the same despite trying to sleep earlier and whatever else she told me (early is 12 am for me; I am trying my best, I swear :'D) and oh goodness, my preliminary exams are in 2 weeks, and I can't find it in myself to study. Not only do I not want to study, but I just cannot wrap my head around the content! It is almost impossible to focus in class when I am either ruminating or thinking about my interests (emphasis on my interests. I think I care about them more than a lot of things in my life; I can lose track of time playing/watching them for HOURS.) I have no idea how people do it. I feel stupid, lazy and incompetent (which I know isn't true; it's probably the depression talking, but it still hurts), and I feel like I've stagnated. No matter what I do, no matter how many sessions I have or how many people I talk to about my feelings, I feel the exact fucking same I feel TERRIBLE. I feel so upset and sad and empty; it's so frustrating. I really want time to stop for a second. I wish the same day repeated over and over so I wouldn't have to worry about tomorrow and suffer the most terrible fate of all as my life goes on: living. Living is terrifying; it scares me to think that I cannot keep hiding in this depressive shell my whole life. I need to go out and live and become an adult (I'm 17 this year!!!!!), and that is the single scariest thing I have ever experienced. I do not want to live; I do not want to grow, and yet I hate staying miserable as I am now.I am the worst, aren't I? I am a hypocrite, and all I do is contradict myself. I don't think I feel like existing anymore. Can someone dig me into a hole and bury me? I want to disappear for just a month, maybe; give me some time. Being a human sucks, and we are all insignificant bugs, and all of my (very limited) efforts will amount to nothing. I really do hate myself.

geelt Everything is a struggle
  • replies: 4

I have no hope for the future because all there awaits is struggle and disappointment. So much negativity and pain where all you can do is hold it in and sigh because nothing is in your control. Even sighing is enough to get other people to complain ... View more

I have no hope for the future because all there awaits is struggle and disappointment. So much negativity and pain where all you can do is hold it in and sigh because nothing is in your control. Even sighing is enough to get other people to complain about you. Can't show any emotions or people will complain and use your words against you and make up scenarios in their heads. Even with all the blessings and fortune I have I'm still struggling. Getting support won't change how I feel about the world. Its just an endless circle of being referred to place after place. I can't expect other people to fix my life but I'm just apathetic towards even building a good future for myself now. At times it feels like the world is deliberately trying to drag me down and make me miserable. I'm too afraid to try anything now, I'm too afraid of running into people that make me miserable. I can only find peace if I isolate and hide from the world. Its better to be in my own company than run into people that make me miserable. I know this is wrong and I know I can't keep this up forever but I'm terrified of the world now and its only getting worse. I wish I could be left alone and not have to interact or deal with people. I spoke with a counselor and they suggest I join a study program which I was hesitant about but against better judgement I decided to give it ago because what was the worst that could happen. I didn't do enough research about the program and it was not the kind of program I thought it was. I couldn't handle 2 days of sitting in a room with loud people swearing and making a ruckus, its been 4 months since then and I can't get it out of my head. It's so frustrating that I can't get these things out of my head. A couple of days ago I decided to catch the bus and go to a different library for a change of pace because I wasn't feeling so great. It was okay and I felt a little better getting out of the house. On the bus ride home there were some people being loud and annoying. Then one of them threw a peach pit at my head and I was so baffled. I was so tired and sick of everything but all I could do was sigh. People can be so inconsiderate and puzzling, its so tiring. My hair was so sticky and gross it was disgusting, then I got lobbed again by a candy bar. I want to get mad, I want to get angry and scream but it all feels pointless. Being happy feels pointless, getting upset feels pointless. It all feels pointless, I can't escape other people or myself.

Kkkk Sum bullshit (don't read if it upsets/bothers U)
  • replies: 0

Just spilling this onto the internet hoping for enlightenment/guidance. I just try so hard (I think) to get help but I can't really beat my damnation (my lonely life). It's just funny how the 'law of attraction' just doesn't wanna work for me at all.... View more

Just spilling this onto the internet hoping for enlightenment/guidance. I just try so hard (I think) to get help but I can't really beat my damnation (my lonely life). It's just funny how the 'law of attraction' just doesn't wanna work for me at all. Like damn. Can I get anything?? Maybe ONE person who cares about me?? My mental frustration and agony is always being met with pure silence in the real world. Like pls. I feel arrogant for seriously mentally questioning life and existence but it's like I think the only thing that feels true to me. Maybe I'm a pessimist. But I've noticed for MYSELF (not others), that most of my so called 'life' (very easily triggered by that word rn) has been lived in numbness. Can't connect to my actual physical body walking, talking, seeing, eating. Feel like I just jinx every so called 'good' (hardly comprehend that word) thing from happening by just existing, but then again. Was I going to outsmart the system of whatever this realm is? Nope. Hurts my massive, depressed ego!! Daunting to just open my damn eyes sometimes. I feel pathetic but I also feel honest. Which is all I want. Even if that leads me to almost the worst thing. But mentally daunted. People say to get help but that's kind of meaningless to me rn no offence. I only have my phone. And the imaginable possibility of seeing a therapist which is a PAIN to organise for so many pathetic personal reasons. Like, isn't life supposed to be inclusive???? Why is seeking so called help so hard. I'm mentally ready to blurt out my traumas and life everywhere and hope someone can tell me what's going on but the actual world I'm in won't allow that? Don't got nobody to run to. Hate to upset people but I always do somehow. How am I a disappointment whilst never having been appointed? Someone reading this might question if I'm lying. Telling the truth. Over exaggerating, burdening people. You will never know!

Unique-Name Gosh where do I start
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone I’m 62, transgender female and have taken early retirement I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, identity, alcohol abuse and low self esteem for most of my life, never really fitting in although I tried to conform to societal expectati... View more

Hi everyone I’m 62, transgender female and have taken early retirement I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, identity, alcohol abuse and low self esteem for most of my life, never really fitting in although I tried to conform to societal expectations When I finally transitioned some years ago my wife ‘suggested I leave’ and I moved into rentals.On and off I have had my sons live with me but now I’m on my own as they have moved interstate (they’re grown up and I’m very proud that they have found their own feet)Due to lack of self esteem I always felt I had to work harder than anyone else and I think that led to burnout and early retirement I’ve recently been diagnosed with chronic leukaemia which led me to stop smoking and dramatically reduce alcohol consumption my current emotions arethe world generally is on a course of destruction, wars in Middle East and Ukraine, climate change, rise in far right extremism, intolerance to transgender existence, in Australia the media is whipping up hatred and far right extremism.in short, the environment around me is going to shiti no longer go out socially as there is no need but I’d like to try but social anxiety stops me from trying new things I garden, decorate, diy and get on well with my neighbours but struggle to communicate with old work colleagues (never really had out of work friends) as it’s too hard to try and be interesting my fears are that I’ll become more and more introvert and isolated and one day, die alone… ideas?

Guest_93876777 Just wanted to vent smth idk
  • replies: 5

I dont remember how it feels like to be truly happy because ive had like an empty feeling with some sort of sadness inside me for a few years now i think. im too scared to ask for any help in person because im a minor and talking to my parents and te... View more

I dont remember how it feels like to be truly happy because ive had like an empty feeling with some sort of sadness inside me for a few years now i think. im too scared to ask for any help in person because im a minor and talking to my parents and teachers make me fear rejection. i dont think anyone other than a few of my closer friends know cause no one has realised themselves since im alwasy smiling and trying to be nice. i dont even have a reason to be sad anyways. i go to a good school and have a caring family and nice friends and i get good grades and hobbies like art. but every day i just feel empty and sad and i feel like ill never get out of this. its kind of seasonal because it gets super bad in winter where ive attempted quite a few times and in summer its just kind of always there but not too terrible. im trying to get better because i want to make it to the school camp next year with my friends and i hope one day ill be able to get out of bed easily and do extracurricular activities and be happy again but im too scared of change.

M-ia_123 Depression
  • replies: 4

So I’ve been going through a depressive episode for a while and today (this morning) I spent an hour crying because I didn’t want to get up and go to school. Then later today it was raining and I got really happy, So I like put on a raincoat and ran ... View more

So I’ve been going through a depressive episode for a while and today (this morning) I spent an hour crying because I didn’t want to get up and go to school. Then later today it was raining and I got really happy, So I like put on a raincoat and ran outside with my music and I was out there dancing and picking blackberries (which we have in our backyard) and just like being happy for an hour then once I come inside I give the blackberries to my family and ask if we can like picnic on the deck and my dad says yes, so I run and get a mat and like go to make drinks because that’s like how I celebrate something idk but anyway my mum seemed kinda upset and so I asked if she was ok and she nodded then told me I was getting everything wet. So I cleaned up then asked if they wanted me to make a lemonade. My brother gets really excited but my mum goes “no, it’s too sugary” then I say ok and only make mine and my brothers sweet. Then I ask if I can add raspberries and mum scoffs and says no because it’s to much for just a drink then she goes to tell me how messy my room is and how I never clean up or leave my room. So I went to do that but I just felt really sad. And then later when we’re eating dinner mum gets upset again for me not cleaning my room and dad gets upset because “you’re so moody, you were just laughing what happened.” And I don’t know I’m just upset.

Jay--- Internal barrier
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone,I'm interested in some discussion and feedback concerning a mental health situation. I suffer from what can be best described as an internal mental barrier: I shut down and withdraw from communication. This mostly affects me trying to ... View more

Hello everyone,I'm interested in some discussion and feedback concerning a mental health situation. I suffer from what can be best described as an internal mental barrier: I shut down and withdraw from communication. This mostly affects me trying to discuss or act on things that I want in my life. I tend to think through things a lot but when it comes to saying or doing something I shut off. This can be anything from engaging with marketing or potential customers for my business, through to talking with my wife about the state of our marriage. Whenever I try to say something about what I feel or want I come up against an internal barrier that stops me. End result of course is a lot of dissatisfaction, not much happening for my benefit, and festering anger and resentment. A bit of back ground (cliff notes)-Currently 50-something.-Youngest child of three in my family.-Mother was likely covert narcissist. -Middle brother is serious narcissist (checks all 9 diagnostic criteria).-Oldest brother went off trying to be overachiever, father was largely disinterested.-I have a more quiet and thoughtful personality, so I was pegged by my mother to be the narcissistic supply for her and my brother.-Result was unhappy childhood full of manipulation, neglect for my needs, and invalidation.-I married in my early 20s thinking it would get me away from the old life, but due to my mother's conditioning I simply attached myself to another narcissist. She spent another 10 years invalidating and traumatising me before I became almost non-functional and divorced.-Diagnosed with serious depression in my mid 30s and have been in and out of treatment/therapy since. Most of the realisations above have come out of that therapy. Aside from the myriad of issues the above has left me with one major stumbling block is the aforementioned mental barrier. As I understand it I learned young to shut down and internalise anything to do with my core self as a protection mechanism. However, as the situation that gave rise to it lasted from the day of my birth until my mid-thirties, I am now finding it almost impossible to get past. It is now a serious problem and is preventing me from moving forward. Does anyone out there have any thoughts on/experiences with this sort of thing and how to break it down/move on? Thanks in advance.

Guest_35258682 My gf
  • replies: 1

My gf laft me bc of a girl i want on a walk bc the where firetucks and that I said come on u she stand up but she didn’t come she yelled at me and im worried about her and myself and her brother gf is a bitch she talk to her when she doesn’t want her... View more

My gf laft me bc of a girl i want on a walk bc the where firetucks and that I said come on u she stand up but she didn’t come she yelled at me and im worried about her and myself and her brother gf is a bitch she talk to her when she doesn’t want her to and she done things that the police should have be told I’m so insecure about my body and I’m trying to live but I’m so god dam close to giving up

booga suddenly dont feel like talking to anyone
  • replies: 4

all of a sudden, i just dont want to talk. just like, in general. even over text. i love my best friend and theyre one of my favorite people, but suddenly i just,, dont want to talk to them. its not that we're growing apart, they might be getting a c... View more

all of a sudden, i just dont want to talk. just like, in general. even over text. i love my best friend and theyre one of my favorite people, but suddenly i just,, dont want to talk to them. its not that we're growing apart, they might be getting a computer tomorrow so we can play games together, and its not like i dont like them. i just dont feel like talking. i dont know whats wrong with me and i feel guilty about it

Turkeyman Section for people with financial difficulties?
  • replies: 14

Often I would like to seek assistance with the problems associated with having too many bills, no money and trying to get by in life with this problem. I'm sure I am not the only person struggling financially due to work problems or health issues and... View more

Often I would like to seek assistance with the problems associated with having too many bills, no money and trying to get by in life with this problem. I'm sure I am not the only person struggling financially due to work problems or health issues and was wondering if you could set up a forum that deals with the struggles of being broke and not coping with lack of money? I know there are places like CARE financial services and charities, but these folks don't want to talk about the emotional side of things, only the options [or lack of options] available and it'd be good to vent with others who understand the hardships.

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