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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Guest_25599980 I'm so done with everything
  • replies: 1

I'm just so done, every year gets worse and worse. This year, my dad got into a car crash that could have killed him, luckily it didn't. My 14yr old sister tried to kill herself, came out to me that she smokes cigarettes and a plethora of other thing... View more

I'm just so done, every year gets worse and worse. This year, my dad got into a car crash that could have killed him, luckily it didn't. My 14yr old sister tried to kill herself, came out to me that she smokes cigarettes and a plethora of other things, then ran away from home(I don't live with her). Then I got into a big fight with my bio mum about how she was treating my sister, her daughter, calling her selfish and a horrible person using my sisters animal against her to get her back home. Which worked because she is living with them again. That fight ended up with my mother and little brother giving me the silent treatment, they didn't talk to me for about 3 months maybe. All this happened and then the parent I live with(my offset parents, I ran away at 16 and I am 21 now) got mad at me because I didn't clean for one day out of the entire year and she lost it at me, she started to yell at me and then threw a brush at me. Nothing I say or do will make her happy. She always threatens to kick me out and stuff like that. I don't really have anywhere to go or any money. They did talk to me abt saving but this last month has been really expensive, I had my bffs birthday and my own as well as capricon. Also forgot to mention I study a bachelor full-time and work casual while having to basically act as a full-time cleaner and do extra stuff for my bffs sister. I think they are gonna kick me out, im just so tired.. I want to fall asleep and never wake up.

PugPug Late Night Thoughtstream / Poem
  • replies: 1

Pre warning, some heavy imagery. I am doing okay, just feeling incredibly numb the last 6 months. Here's a thought stream from last night. ~~~ My right hand stings, pain lingering from the tip of my fingers toward my palm. I have slapped myself an in... View more

Pre warning, some heavy imagery. I am doing okay, just feeling incredibly numb the last 6 months. Here's a thought stream from last night. ~~~ My right hand stings, pain lingering from the tip of my fingers toward my palm. I have slapped myself an inumerable amount of times in the last hour in an attempt to stop myself from crying. To focus on a stinging sensation that wasn't my heart. I look at my reflection. My eyes are puffy from crying, my skin red and hot. I notice I'm subconsciously avoiding my reflection. My own eyes wander over my face like a curious stranger. I wonder why now. Why is now the time to linger in my head. The last few weeks have been manageable. I haven't cried once. Haven't felt sad. Or felt much of anything. I haven't felt much joy but it's okay because I haven't felt any sadness. But alas, I finished the rest of my weed last night. My vape died this morning. My ex-girlfriend has been away for three weeks and she will be back within a day. I picture her face, I then picture wanting to smoke, followed by wanting to vape, followed by wanting to doom scroll, followed by what I actually do, which is staring at my palms for an hour. It all hits me at once. I see her again. I picture her face and before I know it, I am nothing but a stream for my tears to flow across. I am nothing except for the feelings I have right now. The past few weeks I haven't felt joy. Now all I feel is sadness. My skin crawls, my fingers dig, my teeth clench and my chest heaves in and out with every exacerbated breath. I choke out a scream, as my hands are drenched in tears and snot. I don't want anyone to see me like this. Not even myself. So I begin to tear down my mirrors. Nothing to see here, nothing to see. I put weight down on my eyelid with my pointer finger. I drag my eyelid down slowly, I don't blink, I don't cry, I don't even gasp. I begin to disassemble the work I put into myself over the years. My eyes first. Then I begin putting my hands over my mouth. My mother's beautiful craftsmanship. I tear down years of rituals and years of regrets. I destroy who I am from within, I remove the bad, the good and all the inbetween. I am exhausted from crying. I am sick of disappearing. I am finished talking, you won't get a word out of me anymore.

Guest_44518917 Depressed
  • replies: 3

I am writing this because I find it difficult to explain everything I have experienced verbally. There have been so many events over the years that I feel I have carried a lot of pain without having enough opportunity to properly process it. I want m... View more

I am writing this because I find it difficult to explain everything I have experienced verbally. There have been so many events over the years that I feel I have carried a lot of pain without having enough opportunity to properly process it. I want my counsellor to understand the history behind how I am feeling now, including my IVF journey, pregnancy losses, the loss of my son, my medical complications, my recent premature birth and NICU experience, and the difficulties I have experienced in my marriage.

Guest_65917790 This is prolly really stupid
  • replies: 1

Ive grown up with ADHD my entire life, and I know how my brain works, but this one leader at you youths apparently thinks she knows it better. Okay, so last week at youth group they started a rule to turn off your phone during small groups. I told he... View more

Ive grown up with ADHD my entire life, and I know how my brain works, but this one leader at you youths apparently thinks she knows it better. Okay, so last week at youth group they started a rule to turn off your phone during small groups. I told her that I need it to focus (because my mind had been yelling that night, so I was sketching on Ibis while listening) she said no no put it down, I can't leave you off the rule of everyone will do it. Okay yeah, but I have a disability sooo. Anyways I told her sorry that she feels it but with my ADHD ive tried other fidgets and this so far is the bestest one that works, being on my phone held be be able to actually process words instead of hear them and she starts saying that it's now how ADHD works? Girl, I'm the one who grew up with this. I told here there are different types of ADHD she says yeah but ADHD doesn't work that way... do you have my mind girl. Anyways this week I go again, I'm just going to keep the light dull and play subway surfers as I listen so I can focus, she again says to turn off the phone, but ive been having a bad night, my brain is overwhelmed, so I out on my headphones, a thing ive told them means I'm overstimulated, and she just keeps telling me to turn off my phone then gets upset that I'm ignoring her so I had to sit outside the youth Hall. I'm sorry this just really annoyed me, I have no clue how to get the message through to her that my phone is the only thing Ive found so far that makes me actually able to process words, like before with a different thing, yeah I hear but I don't understand, but with my phone I can process, understand, and respond, especially at youth with small groups and the long videos

Gameoveraus PTSD and other things have pushed me beyond breaking point numerous times
  • replies: 6

Just a quick summary at the start of last year i was in a nervous breakdown from work stress, i fell asleep or blacked out while driving and caused a 5 car 1 truck pileup on a major highway, I was the only one injured tho from what i know. I have no ... View more

Just a quick summary at the start of last year i was in a nervous breakdown from work stress, i fell asleep or blacked out while driving and caused a 5 car 1 truck pileup on a major highway, I was the only one injured tho from what i know. I have no recollection of the actual crash or immediately after.Go forward a month i started getting pain in my shoulders, spine and ended up in hospital a bit later with bi-lateral shoulder fractures/dislocations and a false epilesy diagnosis which got my license revoked. Spent 5 weeks in hospital with basically no independence, while in there besides the torture of not being able to sleep, and the horrific conditions the nursing staff and patients had to endure my father passed away 3 days before my shoulder surgeries, i never got to say goodbye abnd then i was in there for another 2 weeks after inc. the funeral i went to for the day.I got kicked out of hospital at the 5 week mark as i was taking up a bed, and was an incovenience with all my grieving and need for constant pain meds.Come home and the next few months i slowly started to turn it around then one of my shoulders gave out again, due to them botching the surgery so i had to have yet another surgery (a replacement this time) and another week in hospital in the same ward, same conditions once again they botched part of the surgery leaving me with aeonemia and my good shoulder got a small fracture again from having to be the bearer while the other was incapacitated again. One of our pets had to be put down 6 weeks later and then work fired me Xmas week for being off for so long (20yrs of service and the higher ups didn't give a shit, i wasn't even being payed for some of it i was using up all my ammassed leave not even a send off at the xmas partyThis whole time the medical system wasn't telling me anything regarding the Epilepsy, or other diagnosis's they wouldn't even rescan or tell my GP, until i checked myself into a mental ward in February this year on the verge of suicide then i got answers of Oops we made a mistake but we aren't going to retest to make sure and your chronic pain, deal with it qet get a sedintary jobThe PTSD i was doing great headways with therapy but there's only so much can be said before you are just going over the same things again and again. Nothing can change what happened.Now im heading back to that dark place again, hate my body (partly a different story), hate this situation, wake up every morning in agony, can't seem to get a job and every step forward is hit with a barragfe of obstacles and people who don't care to do there job or if they do care they can't do anything about it

Guest_22335196 Hi
  • replies: 3

After giving birth, why day by day I feel so stress and nobody care about me.I don’t know how to decribe the feeling , I feel so down

After giving birth, why day by day I feel so stress and nobody care about me.I don’t know how to decribe the feeling , I feel so down

Mako Not sure if burnout, feel like I have to keep going
  • replies: 3

I’ve been experiencing extreme periods of hopelessness, anxiety and brain fog for months now. It varies from day to day, some days I will be fine but more and more days recently have been a sense of dread for the work day, emotional turmoil, exhausti... View more

I’ve been experiencing extreme periods of hopelessness, anxiety and brain fog for months now. It varies from day to day, some days I will be fine but more and more days recently have been a sense of dread for the work day, emotional turmoil, exhaustion and I’m honestly just on the brink of tears at any moment. I’ve been told I’m performing well at work and I appear put together but I am barely holding it together on the inside. I have been given a lot more extra responsibility at work due to performing well but it all seems like an endless conveyor belt with no end. I started working from a really young age and have been working continuously at multiple jobs since then and half my life I have been working already. I feel exhausted, I don’t have energy or joy for hobbies anymore and I spend many days just crying. I look like I have a good social life on weekends but I spend most of them alone because I can’t bring myself to reach out and talk to anyone. Am too socially exhausted. Unsure what to do, is this a normal experience.

Icantscream I have no mouth but I must scream
  • replies: 2

Every second of my life is self monitored. I cannot let myself live. When I cease to do so even due to mental breakdown I feel "ah this is it", and then it is gone. Everyday is a subconscious performance that tears away at my soul and day after day t... View more

Every second of my life is self monitored. I cannot let myself live. When I cease to do so even due to mental breakdown I feel "ah this is it", and then it is gone. Everyday is a subconscious performance that tears away at my soul and day after day the numbness keeps growing. I have failed to grow up and live as a human, I feel I have completely failed in so many categories. People go through unimaginable things in their upbringing that scars them in a way that does irreparable harm, but there is at least a human kind of suffering and dealing with it, however poorly. Me? I don't even know how to describe what I am or what the hell I am up to. I have mastered the art of being at least not socially degraded and judged but have the persona of "the smiling saint" that is, the amiable and good guy that no one really knows or is true friends with but always when they see him, he's kind and friendly and good-hearted, but everything underneath feels so wrong and broken and I can't even find the words to articulate this. My living situation plus my religious belief makes me feel like I am unable to go into these places, the first because what dregs of a stable reality I have will be lost and the second that going into these places in me will reveal that I am unforgivably broken and God will reject me. My perception of reality seems like a different language to other people, like I know everyone has different perspectives but they all seem to be human, and I hate hate hate that I feel fundamentally separated from other people in a way that seems irredeemable. I want to be a person, I want to live like others even if that meant being with the hurt in a lot of pain and suffering because at least then I would feel human and not so messed up. I am a uni student, love music, love my neighbour, dress well, good looking, parents still together, everything SHOULD be alright but I JUST WANT TO SCREAM TILL I TEAR UP MY VOCAL CHORDS BUT I WONT LET MYSELF BECAUSE IT FEELS TOO UNSAFE TO BE WITH WHERE I AM AT, EVEN THOUGH I SHOULDNT BE WHERE I AM AT.

lilypad_the_ok i dont even know, i think im burning out
  • replies: 2

hey there, this is going to sound really dumb just as a disclaimer.I know that as a kid who goes to a pretty good high school, and has supportive family and friends who genuinely love me, im very lucky. I feel pretty ungrateful writing this... Someti... View more

hey there, this is going to sound really dumb just as a disclaimer.I know that as a kid who goes to a pretty good high school, and has supportive family and friends who genuinely love me, im very lucky. I feel pretty ungrateful writing this... Sometimes i feel like genuinely no one understands me. like i really want to scream and rage but i also don't want to at the same time? I'm fine when im with friends and family, like surrounded with people i love. but when i'm by myself i suddenly feel very hollow and empty. like i'm not even human, and i can't feel anything. i just feel very heavy and like life is pointless all of a sudden. i had suicidal thoughts a while back, like a few months ago. i don't get them anymore, i just want to go to sleep sometimes in like a coma and wake up, and everything will be alright and time will have moved on, and i'll have passed my exams or something... i'm definitely a perfectionist, and this is going to sound really pathetic but i feel very disappointed whenever i don't get 100%, since i often do. i don't want to sound like a brat, and i'm sorry if i do, but lately i've been flagging and getting 80s to 90s. i know lots of people would probably be ecstatic with those grades, but unfortunately i'm not. now that i've been getting these grades i'm starting to feel really worthless and i'm losing motivation. i do want to tell my parents, especially my mum who i think is closer to me. but she's really stressed as a family member is sick, and i don't want to burden her even more. i tried mentioning it a while back but she doesn't seem to get it, and i think she herself is kind of depressed. what should i do? because it's not serious to the point that it's affecting my life or that people can tell, since i can still function. i'm too tired and scared, and stressed to reach out for help. i think this might be depression, but i also feel like it's really stupid and pathetic knowing that there are people far worse off than me. in short, i just feel like a pretty ungrateful brat. sorry for the long rant. hope you guys get better, anyhow. (not assuming, of course, that everyone here is depressed or other)

Neve year 7 stress
  • replies: 3

I think I have deppresionIn year 4 I moved schools and it was great but when I went to high school my mental helth dropt and I started to get freaked out by things like cars passing, getting strest out by simple mistakes or tests and always feeling l... View more

I think I have deppresionIn year 4 I moved schools and it was great but when I went to high school my mental helth dropt and I started to get freaked out by things like cars passing, getting strest out by simple mistakes or tests and always feeling like I have no perpous or everythink is an effort.

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