Losing my grasp on perspective.

[Mr K]

Some days are better than others but at the moment I feel like my life is slowly slipping out of my control and I'm just feeling utterly overwhelmed and isolated from support.

I feel like all my close friends are out of contact, my remaining family my elderly father lives on the other side of the world, my last relationship ended last year and I'm afraid to speak to anyone at work in case the facade falls and they see me as a wreck.

As a single dad, i struggle at the best of times to find time for myself let alone time to speak to anyone about this.

I feel like my work is starting to really suffer because of my state and I feel overwhelmed trying to put it right and restore confidence.

I don't want to end my life and I can't afford to not work but I wish I could just reset things somehow and start again. I don't know how much longer I can last in this constant state of survival. I feel like I'm running out of options and I don't know what else I can do.   

[Algernon]

Mr K there is someone in your life that loves you and needs your love. You are a single dad. There is a child that craves your attention. Enjoy it. This is a wonderful moment. When you are truely old, this will be the time that makes you smile.

[Mr K]

I love both of my children very much but I am constantly worried that I might fall them, loose my job and possibly lose their time, trust and love. 

when I say I am alone I am literally the person who might not speak to anyone all weekend if my children are not here. 

nobody calls, nobody remembers me. I don’t have a voice so I reach out here. I know my kids love me but they can’t fix my problems. 

im not able to properly eat or sleep at the moment because I am so stressed. I’m falling apart and I have no one to help me put myself together. 

[Kalm15]

Hi there Mr K.

Welcome to the forum, it's good to come here and speak about what's going on. We are listening to you.

I can understand your feelings of overwhelm and like your out of options. Life is a hard thing to handle even when things go well as we just have so many responsibilities and have to keep going to work, look after our children, clean the house, pay bills. All while trying to keep our mental and physical health well so we can get up each day and do all of this. So of course we feel exhausted often. I can only speak for my self and say that I realised when I was at a very low point in life I had to try and do something that gave me a feeling of wanting to keep going. Being isolated was no good. Just going to work with out anything else was no good. But I didnt want lots of people. But I knew I needed to have just one or two. This sounds cliched but I searched various hobbies until I found something I really liked. I met others who also did this hobby. I dont like all of them but the two I did like  I worked on the friendship. I don't see them all the time but enough to keep isolation at bay and have common interests. I work full time, and I work on my hobby as it makes me happy. This change flicked a switch in my life and I will always feel overwhelmed sometimes and not always happy but things could definitely be worse. I'm satisfied. What I'm trying g to say is having a interest outside if work saved me. I have no family and very few people in my life. So this helped .me to have purpose. And something to look forward to. Please consider finding something that makes you forget the difficult things in life for a little while. Try things until something clicks. I really hope you can . Come back and talk to us on the forum any time you need to. There is people listening who care about you here.

[Kalm15]

Hi again Mr K. I hope things have improved . Like you say, some days are better than others. I just wanted to drop you a few lines again to say what I meant by getting something to interest you such as a hobby. I understand you may of read my post and shook your head "hobbies!!" . I have no time as a single dad as it is!. But what I was trying to say is that when your very busy like you ate with no support, you have children your raising alone, working, relationship breakdown a short time ago. It's a lot. So much your brain is trying to process and organise. So getting away from all this and doing something you enjoy, I think that's very good for mental health. You won't lose your job and you will see the end of this difficult time. But you need a bit of me time. A car engine will break if it keeps revving too much. Consider looking for something you could do for you. If you feel like you want to talk to a psychologist,  get a mental health plan . Your GP can set this up for you. You will be allocated a psychologist to see. Or does your employer have a program for employees to access mental health counsellors. Make the time for this if its something you feel you want to try. All the very best, come back and talk on the forums. We are interested in what you have to say .