Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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my story, hurting for 6 years now i am 18.

replies: 2

I’ve been struggling for a long time, even though most people never noticed, i was bullied and even after that i was sent back to the same primary and high schools as the same people who hurt me, that made me feel like my pain didn’t matter, like no one cared enough to protect me. At home i felt left out, i was talked about badly by my own siblings, misunderstood constantly, and blamed for things i didn’t do, no one ever asked if i was okay, no one noticed that i was fighting every day just to stay alive.At school, i failed my exams on purpose because I wanted someone to notice that i wasn’t okay, I didn’t know how else to show it. But even then, it was treated like a normal day, no one asked why.There were moments when words from my parents hurt deeply, things that stayed with me and made me feel unwanted and hated, overtime those words became my own thoughts, i started believing that everyone hated me and i didn’t belong anywhere.Living like this has made me feel exhausted, empty, and unsafe in my own body and home. Ive carried this quietly for years and its taken a serious toll on my mental health.Im writing this because i need someone to understand that, I didn’t choose to feel this way and i need help.

I can't justify my existence

replies: 6

Hi brand new here. Sorry for the instant dump. I've never actually written this out before and would like to know if I am alone with this. (might even feel good getting it off my chest) I have struggled existential dread for around 6 years (I'm 31). Every day I question my existence, it's like suddenly one day I woke up, and have been like this ever since. I'm not currently at risk of self harm or suicide but I feel a constant intrusive desire to no longer exist/die. I have a pretty stable life a good job in Aged Care, a supportive partner, and pets. However at work I feel entirely replaceable and find no inherent purpose in reality. My view on life and people is dominated by a timeline view, where I see everyone and everything as meaningless and destined for death. eg - I am watching a movie and I see the actors in the movie as 'working a job' and this is a part of something they did before they died. Feels like I am at a funeral and watching memoirs would be the best way to describe it. Same goes when I am interacting with anyone. I feel no connection + every interaction feels fake and scripted. Convinced I shouldn't exist because I was conceived through deception (Mum went off the pill for another centrelink baby, Dad tried to abort they split), making me constantly remind myself I was not meant to be here in the first place. I find myself hoping for accidental death in every situation, often subconsciously seeking out risks (going for a hike when a storm is forecasted) (walking at night in high crime areas). - Things like this, never actively trying to die, but introducing it into scenarios. I only remain here out of a sense of duty to my partner and pets. I struggle to plan for the future, whether it's tomorrow, next week or next year. Because I truly hope it doesn't come. I have seen psych's who have disgnosed me with quite the lot (Bipolor II, ADHD, Depression, Anxiety) and will continue to see them to push on, the meds they give me just make me tired and bored. So now I exist with the weight of the meds too. I get it though we are all going to die, so have fun in the meantime? That's the fix so I have been told. Whenever someone says something like that it feels so forced disingenuous that I can't accept that as an answer because none of this is not fun for me. Does anyone else feel this dread? I feel like I am losing my mind.

It here again

replies: 73

My depression is severe todayAdded to this is the loss of my girlfriendShe was my sole purpose in my lifeNow im back to suicide researchas I really dont want to live anymoreI have nothing to look forward to in this life and I feel too old to start over again.Death would be a welcome giftI know there is no purpose in suffering all the time and its madness to do soLast time I tried to end it I got so close to doing itI always felt it was upsetting I didnt succeed and today I regret trying to get better because there is no getting better.If people could understand what its like living like this then maybe they would understand me better.I try to be grateful for the last 8 years I had with girlfriend and the purpose it gave me but it doesnt stop the added grief ontop of my depression.The cavalry are not coming to save me and thats whats changed for me.I cant keep living for the sake of others wanting me to live.

I wanna go to heaven i don’t belong here

replies: 4

I don’t belong here i don’t belong here

No BS

replies: 4

What is really going on here & to what point? why am I forced into a world to endure violence, depression, genocide, capitalism, manipulation, exploitation, censorship, trafficking, war, hedonism, anti socialness, exclusion, hierarchys, enslavement, mental health crisesis, epidemics, narcissists, cost of living, idiocracy, greedy, atrophy, ageing, suffering, lonliness, status quos, fakesness, starvation, hypnotisation, propaganda, lies, deceit, looks maxing, gambling, substances, debating, limited freedom, working, scams, repetivness, denialism, illusions, delusions, fantasy's, lack of affection, self righteousness, selfishness, robotic syndrome, abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, brainwashing, institutionalised, trauma, competition, indoctrination, surviving, ai etc. Given to the above, as a sentient being, what ultimate reason would be to subject another sentient being into existence that gives yet takes? I'd appreciate if someone could answer this reasonably with no emotional tapons connected.

hi

replies: 3

hi , i am a 14 year old girl struggling very badly with sh thoughts and urges. when these urges come on all i want to feel is pain and hurt and i dont know what to do, obviously being my age and still living with my parents is hard to do any harm to myself without anyone noticing. but that just makes me feel more and more trapped knowing i need to feel something but i just can't. i would like to see if there is any other girls around my age struggling with the same thoughts because i feel so alone and different in this world.

It’s hopeless

replies: 5

I am 17 years old doing my VCE online. I have posted once before about the pressures of VCE and my anxiety. In April, due to the stress of VCE at my main stream school and a medication that made me worse I got diagnosed with major depressive disorder and anxiety which led to an attempt and an admission. That was a few months ago since then it was has gotten a little better.. But now, I can’t do this anymore. I thought I was just getting better I was going on walks, eating, and even going out with friends. Everything was so great. I had this important event for my friend and I found out people from my old school were going to be there I was so excited and the day off I just felt ugly and so ashamed of the person I have become. I didn’t go and I shut everyone out I deleted all my social media I ghosted everyone who reached out. I don’t know what happened I am so embarrassed. Now I’m sleeping constantly staying in bed I have no appetite I don’t shower or go out. I was just getting better I don’t understand why this has happened I can’t do this anymore. Everything feels hopeless now. I had so much hope I really thought it was getting better. It feels like it won’t ever get better.

Self harm, suicide, depression

replies: 3

I’m 14 and have been struggling a lot lately. I’m just looking for people who understand how I’m feeling and are up for a chat to distract myself

In a psych ward for nearly 4 weeks but still suicidal

replies: 2

Came in to private mental health ward after an attempt. Been doing the program they have in this place which isn’t amazing (compared to others I’ve done) but my meds seem to be having an small/average impact. Family supportive. Gf being a patient saint. but my brain just ideates incessantly on some days and I feel incapable of connecting with people in here. That so many people are coming in and feeling better, laughing and connecting makes me feel worse and isolate in my room outside of groups they have (no group therapy, just lectures on mental health). Doctor has diagnosed bi - polar 2 which I question but who knows…..I don’t even know why I’m writing this I just feel lost in a place I’m supposed to be healing.

My story

replies: 2

To introduce myself simply I am a male high school student approaching my final year. Since the age of roughly 7 I have felt like my life worthless. I’ve never had a defining trait aside from being the person there to fill in space, one of my biggest grievances is that I lack hope. I don’t expect to own a house nor do I expect to have kids, get in a romantic relationship, find a job, find a hobby, or even simply feel content. This doesn’t mean I do not want these things it is just the fact that these things will likely never happen. I’ve struggled with self harm through my life even at that young age, I struggle to manage my frustration, I struggle to get tears out when I’m feeling down, I struggle to find the good inside myself when I can see it in others, I struggle to take criticism, I struggle to take compliments. This is just the tip of the iceberg that makes up me as a person. To me self harm can range from things like substances, self-injury, isolation/‘bed rotting’, repeating self deprecating thoughts, etc. yes I’ve done it all but yet I find myself too scared to take my life. my home life I wouldn’t call rough, yes we’ve had plenty of problems which I won’t go into but the stage my home life is at now would be considered good in comparison to some of the stories I’ve heard and seen. i don’t have a clear understanding or grasp of what is exactly causing this, i just think it’s me. To finish off I will list a range of things I feel and do on a daily basis so whoever willingly reads this may get a grasp on how I feel and who I am. Restlessness, Depression, Anxiety, Paranoia, Stress, Hopelessness, Constant feeling of choking, Lack of appetite, inability to speak, self isolation, poor memory, fatigue, self deprecation.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

my story, hurting for 6 years now i am 18. replies: 2

I can't justify my existence replies: 6

It here again replies: 73

I wanna go to heaven i don’t belong here replies: 4

No BS replies: 4

hi replies: 3

It’s hopeless replies: 5

Self harm, suicide, depression replies: 3

In a psych ward for nearly 4 weeks but still suicidal replies: 2

My story replies: 2