Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Beaser Tired of fighting this battle.
  • replies: 114

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other forums but im feeling very desperate lately. Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out. Im lonely and go... View more

I hope im ok to post as ive posted so often on other forums but im feeling very desperate lately. Im just so tired of fighting. I left a job i was in for many years last year. I have since had some part time work that didnt work out. Im lonely and going broke. I was desperate and called triple o last week only to be left to my own devices again. I may be going into a facility called parc a non acute inpatient service but that thought scares me. I dont know how much more i can endure. I hope every one is well and thank you for reading Brett

Chronicler-R I genuinely don’t believe the world will get better and I feel stuck.
  • replies: 0

Hello everyone, this is R. I just need somewhere to vent, and this seemed like the safest place to do so. I’ve lost hope in the world getting better. With all the stuff like climate change, conflicts/genocides, discrimination becoming more normalised... View more

Hello everyone, this is R. I just need somewhere to vent, and this seemed like the safest place to do so. I’ve lost hope in the world getting better. With all the stuff like climate change, conflicts/genocides, discrimination becoming more normalised, I’m just sick and tired. And the fact that the only people with the power to actually make a difference couldn’t care less and are actively working to make things worse is the cherry on top.I don’t think I’m gonna have a future. I don’t think any of my loved ones are gonna have a future.I don’t wanna live if I can’t have a happy life, but I don’t want to die and leave my family to face this terrible world alone. I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I don’t see a way out. As much as I hate it here, I’m gonna try and survive. I intend to talk to a therapist as well. Things just suck right now.

Hourly2128 More scared than I've ever been
  • replies: 2

Thirty something year old, I have a court date next week, the police have issued intervention order against me protecting my now ex. I've struggled with suicidal ideation for most of my adult life and I'm at a point now where the only thing that keep... View more

Thirty something year old, I have a court date next week, the police have issued intervention order against me protecting my now ex. I've struggled with suicidal ideation for most of my adult life and I'm at a point now where the only thing that keeps me going is my little boy from a long term relation that previous to this one, We'd argued all the our relationship not to mention halfway through our relationship she copped an intervention order protecting her ex that is was violent She had been diagnosed with personality disorder before I had met her mixed with my depression we had a pretty rough go of it from the start and throughout my depression got worse This is the first time I've ever dealt with the police in this matter, it never got violent but it was a struggle to get my items back over 2 weeks which led to my DVO I'm honestly glad to be out of the relationship, but I can't help feeling like an utter scumbag for my actions I'm trying my hardest to pick myself up I'm really glad my mates coming over tonight.

Boo Concerned
  • replies: 1

So I’ve been in a relationship for nearly two years now and have been increasingly unhappy in it for about half a year. It isn’t concerning in any way, I just no longer feel happy with my partner and long for a more nurturing relationship, or just to... View more

So I’ve been in a relationship for nearly two years now and have been increasingly unhappy in it for about half a year. It isn’t concerning in any way, I just no longer feel happy with my partner and long for a more nurturing relationship, or just to be single again. Unfortunately I am on a multiple-month trip with my partner and cannot break up with them, despite my disposition. Besides that, I’ve been having less and less energy and feel so isolated from everything. I’m worried about sharing my concerns with others, as many of my thoughts just aren’t good and I don’t want to scar anyone with them. But I also can’t deal with all my worries alone right now. I’ve had suicidal thoughts in the past and I’ve self harmed too. I am terrified of having those feelings again and try everything to stop them whenever I drift into a more negative headspace. I’ve worked on creating a safety net for times like this, but since I’m traveling I can’t spend time with friends and family and simply can’t talk to anyone in person. I get scared of what will happen if my headspace gets worse. Right now I’m clinging to the hope that it’ll all get better after these few months, though I know that it might be too long for me to deal with healthily.

Scared It here again
  • replies: 21

My depression is severe todayAdded to this is the loss of my girlfriendShe was my sole purpose in my lifeNow im back to suicide researchas I really dont want to live anymoreI have nothing to look forward to in this life and I feel too old to start ov... View more

My depression is severe todayAdded to this is the loss of my girlfriendShe was my sole purpose in my lifeNow im back to suicide researchas I really dont want to live anymoreI have nothing to look forward to in this life and I feel too old to start over again.Death would be a welcome giftI know there is no purpose in suffering all the time and its madness to do soLast time I tried to end it I got so close to doing itI always felt it was upsetting I didnt succeed and today I regret trying to get better because there is no getting better.If people could understand what its like living like this then maybe they would understand me better.I try to be grateful for the last 8 years I had with girlfriend and the purpose it gave me but it doesnt stop the added grief ontop of my depression.The cavalry are not coming to save me and thats whats changed for me.I cant keep living for the sake of others wanting me to live.

imtrying_ I keep fucking up
  • replies: 4

lately i have realised that i am just a horrib;e person. all of my friends have left me because of my actions, my negligence, my erratic behaviour. I always seem to say the wrong thing or not say enough. I cant treat anyone correctly. even my own boy... View more

lately i have realised that i am just a horrib;e person. all of my friends have left me because of my actions, my negligence, my erratic behaviour. I always seem to say the wrong thing or not say enough. I cant treat anyone correctly. even my own boyfriend. I forgot his birthday (he says its fine but i hate myself for it), i'm always burdening him with my episodes and I'm never fun to be around anymore. I have been in an intense depressive episode for the last week. I've started sh again. Ive stopped eating. I can barley bring myself to talk to anyone. I havnt seen anyone aside from my family in a week. tonight I asked if my boyfriend could come over and he said yeas but he was really tired so could it wait until tomorrow? I said that was fine but that I wished he could have seen me sooner instead of spending every night of the last week at his friends place. And that's not really fair, I never asked him to come over, I never made it clear that I wanted company and in fact explicitly stated that I wasn't up for communication much less seeing anyone. idk I just got really depresdsed tn and realised that Im jealous of his friends and i miss him and i must not be good enough for him if hed rather see them than me. i know these thoughts arent reality but i did think them. And i feel horrible for it. i cant trust anyone. i hate so easily i mistrust so easily. I keep making people have to walk away from me or take a break bercause of how full on i am, and then i get angry or defensive or grovelling to make them come back and it just causes so much stress. I'm an unhealthy presence in everyines lives. I can't change. Ive tried. Im going to be like this forever. I rreally think that I have to die in order to make things right. I hate the person that I am. I hate her. I cant do this to people anymore

Sunrise Emptiness taints everything
  • replies: 4

My external life looks great- friends, family, meaningful employment (albeit more difficult recently), sense of community, financial and housing security. But, life feels too big and too small at the same time. I feel like an empty shell, a person wh... View more

My external life looks great- friends, family, meaningful employment (albeit more difficult recently), sense of community, financial and housing security. But, life feels too big and too small at the same time. I feel like an empty shell, a person who is made up of a gaping pit of nothing, void. I feel vague, like I am a step behind myself, disconnected and the world is foggy. I’ve had suicidal thoughts on/off for 12 years now, with past attempts. I thought I had recovered and I had 3 years of stability but recently the thoughts returned with a vengeance. The thoughts are protective, they distract me from the emptiness inside but in the end their protection leads to destruction. The thoughts come with the need to act in some form- research - plan- preparation: purchase and hoarding of materials- rehearsal of plan- etc. Unfortunately, the actions tend to escalate over time. Lately, I’m not allowed to go to bed without the house clean and all rubbish in the bin outside and clothes washed, just in-case I am not around in the morning. I don’t want my family having to wash my clothes or see the last food I have eaten. This is the stupid level of detail my brain makes me obsess over, and it becomes exhausting. Even when I have a good day and the thoughts are in the background, they come to the foreground at night, in the end the rules must be followed. I have engaged in therapy continuously for 4 years, and on/off for a total of 10 years- including group therapy programs. I’ve had two therapy appointments already this week because I wasn’t sure how I would survive to the next week- thankfully I think I will be relatively safe until my next appointment. The GP wants me to see a psychiatrist, but I really don’t think my issue is neurochemical so I don’t hold much hope that psychiatry will be able to assist. The suicidal thoughts are just a well worn neural pathway, they’ve become an impossible habit to break and I fear they are chronic. Am I the only one who creates a life worth living and yet still finds it impossible to live in it?

Tilly44466 Home
  • replies: 1

My mum and I have been arguing and mum just said I make her want to kill herself and she told me to pack my bags. I don't know what I did

My mum and I have been arguing and mum just said I make her want to kill herself and she told me to pack my bags. I don't know what I did

Guest_55389662 My story
  • replies: 1

I would like to share my story to those who need it. I have anxiety and depression , I have attempted 3 times and used frequently self harm. Im still recovering though I am 4 months clean, I still struggle everyday and would like for everyone to know... View more

I would like to share my story to those who need it. I have anxiety and depression , I have attempted 3 times and used frequently self harm. Im still recovering though I am 4 months clean, I still struggle everyday and would like for everyone to know how important they are. Even though I don't know you and don't know if you need this. You are amazing and you can get through it just keep trying.

Unkown_10 I don’t know how to stop
  • replies: 8

I’m a 14 year old female and I’ve been struggling with mental health since I was 11. Last year I was severely bullied, I had just started high school and it seemed like I was the perfect target. Months on months of relentless taunting and harsh comme... View more

I’m a 14 year old female and I’ve been struggling with mental health since I was 11. Last year I was severely bullied, I had just started high school and it seemed like I was the perfect target. Months on months of relentless taunting and harsh comments said towards me and one day I just couldn’t take it anymore. I hated feeling like crap all the time, so I started harming myself as a way to cope. At the time, it felt like the only way to distract myself from the pain. I was feeling inside. Now, over a year later and I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I don't know how to break. I still use this behavior to cope, even though I know it's not helping in the long run. It's become a way to feel something or punish myself for feeling empty or numb. I hate this feeling and I don't know how to stop. The first time I ended up needing medical care because of this, I remember seeing how upset my mum was. I've never forgotten that moment, I have never felt more guilt in my life. I want to change, but it's so hard when these feelings take over Now I feel trapped and desperate. I know it doesn't make sense but I can’t seem to stop. Please someone tell me how I can move forward.