Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Sal2645 How to support my friend
  • replies: 2

My friend attempted suicide about a month ago, he is thankfully ok and I have seen and spoke to him numerous times since. At the time I was obviously very distraught and I don’t know that I acted in the most helpful manner. I texted him saying that I... View more

My friend attempted suicide about a month ago, he is thankfully ok and I have seen and spoke to him numerous times since. At the time I was obviously very distraught and I don’t know that I acted in the most helpful manner. I texted him saying that I’m here if he wants someone to listen and talk to but also if he wants space or anything. He has spoken to me in the past about things and again I’ve seen him since and everything. I just don’t know how to navigate the situation and how to properly be there for him. Like he’s told me he’s doing better and seems to be looking forward to things but also idk whether he just doesn’t want to actually tell me. It’s really scary because when he did it I didn’t see it coming, like I had talked to him that day and he seemed normal so it’s difficult to know. It just so hard not to think I’m not doing enough and that I didn’t do enough before. I want to be able to support him in anyway he feels comfortable with and I’ve told him that but idk. So I need advice on what to do because I really don’t know and I’m scared I’m not doing enough to be there for him, but like idk he might not even want my help.

HERE_TO_HELP2 Your going to be okay
  • replies: 2

Hey guys. I am 13 and I have heard about so many people who are going through anxiety, depression and the thought of suicide. I just want you to know your going to be ok. People love you. You may not think so but you will be.

Hey guys. I am 13 and I have heard about so many people who are going through anxiety, depression and the thought of suicide. I just want you to know your going to be ok. People love you. You may not think so but you will be.

Broken Totally lost and broken
  • replies: 2

I don’t know where to begin been dating my partner for eight years three been cheating on them emotionally and physically talking to all of his exes and also discussing his sexual life. Our sexual life with his exes talks about me said he felt like t... View more

I don’t know where to begin been dating my partner for eight years three been cheating on them emotionally and physically talking to all of his exes and also discussing his sexual life. Our sexual life with his exes talks about me said he felt like that I’m just Sister to him that, I’m older than him. I am older than him but not by that much. I’m not gonna do and how much I’ve done for Guy but I’ve done a lot but what is broken? Even more? Is the fact that he’s protecting all these people and all these other social platforms like Reddit etc. And bagging me over 12 months to get a stroke of ego and for people to feel sorry for him and made me out to be this evil monster which he was the one I’m working he’s just operating around the gym for 12 hours talking to women and plan to leave me but yet he wants a baby with me spent thousands over $70,000 freezing my eggs and everything for Ivf Then I caught him out. Then he rushed me to get married. Wipe me off. My feet made out. It was his idea but then went onto Reddit that night and complained that he didn’t wanna get married that I forced him to just say his ex would see all this and make me out to be a monster . He tried to suicide many times. He’s been aggressive since we got married. I know it’s because he’s fucked up and he doesn’t wanna get caught out. I’ve got all her details all his details. I’ve given him lots of chances a safe place to explain to me why he denies it and makes it I’m going crazy . I’m angry with the fact that why did he marry me if he wants to be with her he says he’s in love with me. I’ve been through so much garbage in my life and if I tell anybody all of my friends and my family wants to bash him up or two, they will tell me to sell them. I know I have to leave, but it’s getting the strength emotionally to leave His life out of his way to find someone to screw them to justify himself. I’m embarrassed. I trusted someone and finally let them into my life treated like garbage for no reason. I’m starting to hate him but I just wanna know why he can’t just tell me the trace so I can move on And why did he marry me cheating on me because he talk to everybody? He has all of his exes everywhere and he had violent charges on him. I’ve helped him so much. I thought I was and spoiling and I think holidays money cleaning up. I just can’t be bothered doing any of it. It’s like I’m just surviving , out of my way to watch porn and criticise but I was doing not knowing that it was out of my comfort zone and the fact that I was doing it to him he couldn’t take the time to even do that. Very selfish person. Know these things but I guess I just wanna know Shall I just leave and let him figure out but I just can’t talk to him again we’ve been through a lot and a few deaths and he told me basically he’s only me because his whole family will just say that he stuffed up if he lost me and he’d be jealous of someone else had me like this. I’m not a normal person , please people give me your thoughts. I said so much to go into detail and use all think I’m crazy for staying with someone like this.

bfic12 Concerned about brother
  • replies: 4

My bother has been suffering from depression for about a year now. Yesterday he sent me a message saying he was a mess and just driving around in his car. He then told me he was going to hang himself but couldn't go through with it. He has a partner ... View more

My bother has been suffering from depression for about a year now. Yesterday he sent me a message saying he was a mess and just driving around in his car. He then told me he was going to hang himself but couldn't go through with it. He has a partner and two kids aged 5 and 3. I think maybe he couldn't go through with it because of his kids. He says he wont talk to anyone. i don't know what to do.

Leone39 Times arrow marches forward with or without us
  • replies: 4

Is it really worth holding on for help? I'm really at a point now were the urge to end it all is such a pleasing thought, I've struggled with my mental health all my life (I'm 30 btw) its destroyed my career and my friendships, I've never been diagno... View more

Is it really worth holding on for help? I'm really at a point now were the urge to end it all is such a pleasing thought, I've struggled with my mental health all my life (I'm 30 btw) its destroyed my career and my friendships, I've never been diagnosed, or anything, I tried to end my life at school when I was 15 in front of the whole school... I wished it had worked... I've seen many doctors many counsellors but nothing, still im here, I always promised myself I wouldn't leave until my mother passed then I'd do it, but now it seems like who cares?, everyday im here I just day dream about how I will end it all.I've been vocal to doctors about it and the suggest this and that, they refer you to a specialist who has a 8 month wait until you can first see them at a expense of my whole weeks retail wage and some more.So what are we supposed to do? "Oh but theres crisis lines 24/7 chats like Beyond Blue and Lifeline" oh cool! maybe that may help "clicks on link, theres 15 people in front of you, EWT is 1 hour" you sign up to something like SANE and same thing your waiting months just to be seen or talk to someone.The point i'm getting at here is no-ones going to save you, why not save yourself the pain, just think once its done its done, you don't have to worry.I've had this re-occuring thought for years now, I walk into a hallway with my family and friends, theres a busy crowd of people walking the other direction, I walk into that crowd and get lost to my family and friends and they don't notice, our maybe they do for a short period of time, then I'm gone, forgotten only a blip til there lives expire.

Guest_9959 Nervous breakdown
  • replies: 1

I'm not really sure what to post here, in 2017 I went through a Divorce and my little girl was moved 400 kms away from me to a regional town. I tried to kill myself, failing I sold off everything owned including my house, paid out my ex wife and move... View more

I'm not really sure what to post here, in 2017 I went through a Divorce and my little girl was moved 400 kms away from me to a regional town. I tried to kill myself, failing I sold off everything owned including my house, paid out my ex wife and moved to be closer to her my daughter so I could see her more. I've since moved again to a tiny somewhat remote town and work a job i dont like. We have been in a custody battle for 4 years which has taken all of our savings and I haven't seemed to be able to get a win. I'm tired, broken and out of energy. I feel like a burden on my wife and I find no joy in getting out of bed, in fact I no longer want to get out of bed

TBear5879 I just want to be okay
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm 13 years old I have 5 disabilities including autism ADHD and anxiety. I also recently got told by my therapist that I have post truama from multiple different occasions. I'm scared I'm tired and I struggle to get out of bed every morning. Som... View more

Hi, I'm 13 years old I have 5 disabilities including autism ADHD and anxiety. I also recently got told by my therapist that I have post truama from multiple different occasions. I'm scared I'm tired and I struggle to get out of bed every morning. Some days are really good and I generally enjoy being here. Others I just want to end the pain, the sadness the numbness. Recently I've been a bit better. After finding out I have post trauma things made a bit more sense and I've been able to work on myself a bit more but I'm still struggling more than I am happy. I'm scared that I'll never be okay. People keep telling me I just need to try but I do I really, really do. I exercise when I can, I drink lot's of water, I make sure I get enough sleep, I try so so hard to think positively, I've set goals. The thing is every single time I think I can do this! I can get better. Something in me beats me to the ground and say's nice try but you're doomed to a life of misery and then I'm back at stage one. All I want is to be okay. but I don't know how or where to start or even who I am. I act different for everyone I create personalities and theres been times where I am like this is me I've finally found me but then eventually I realise no this isn't me. It's like I'm stuck in this pit that's slowly being covered up with me still inside and the longer I take to get better the more I loose myself, the harder it is to get better. I just want to be okay... Please if anyone has any ideas on what I can do to get better or even just where to start. please tell me. I'm so lost.

Jaibigrone907 I feel worthless, I'm tragic, without direction and don't have a reason to live anymore.
  • replies: 3

I was bullied in numerous ways during high school and hated everyone there. I have no fond memories of what should ideally be my teens and some memorable younger years for most people I guess. I was unhappy until 23 because I stayed in touch with tox... View more

I was bullied in numerous ways during high school and hated everyone there. I have no fond memories of what should ideally be my teens and some memorable younger years for most people I guess. I was unhappy until 23 because I stayed in touch with toxic acquaintances who thought they were better and gave constant opinions and judgment. I did terrible suicide destructive mistakes because I wanted to dumbly die, since I had no financial support to drive, I had no direction for suitable jobs and any opportunities regardless from my pathetic job recruiters. I never wanted apprenticeships, construction or University, wasn't eligible regardless or the personality to study. I also had a infatuation with a girl that died and I got really upset since she was uniquely overly attractive in a way that I put her on a pedestal, she was my favourite obsession and I just went insane during that time to not care about living and became un appreciative with my life, despite loving my brother and mum, I wasn't thinking of them during that phase of my life. It caused me to be mistakenly diagnosed with Schizophrenia or having psychotic history. In 2017 at 22 I became diagnosed tragically with pre diabetes due to detrimental pharmaceuticals. I than had my gallbladder removed in 2020 three years shortly after which is even worse. Before this I overcame weight gain, I've even got some stretch marks. I have the bullshit compliance of having to continuously get scripts from my doctors and than go monthly to the chemist and buy un wanted meds with my limited pension income. I can't even mention about any spiritual beliefs but it's just make my life worse, with all the unwanted remarks and I can't even think internally or have private thoughts since their connected. Constantly told I'm not intelligent, different and there's gossip occurring. When I was going for my driving lessons. I had many issues that I didn't want to deal with and I ended up having my original O.T. therapist discriminate me, after she ignored me for one year to say I wouldn't achieve my licence, she discouraged me to keep trying, wither I should not spend my money on continuing. Given no support jus pension. I've never had suitable friends who had my best interest and shared relatable hobbies. I'm still a virgin since I can't get my life in a ideal standard with full time work, a mortgage and even social confidence since I've been bullied and had so much trauma or suffering since 2008 that got worse in 2012 onwards.

Skane I don't deserve to be here
  • replies: 3

I am a 66 year old man who shouldn't be wasting peoples time on here. After years of depression & a couple of half arsed attempts at suicide, I am beginning to think I have Bipolar. I am on prescription medication for a variety of things including de... View more

I am a 66 year old man who shouldn't be wasting peoples time on here. After years of depression & a couple of half arsed attempts at suicide, I am beginning to think I have Bipolar. I am on prescription medication for a variety of things including depression. I am a retired functioning alcoholic. I have it all. I normally get over my issues by riding one of my motorcycles (generally toward a pub somewhere) which helps me immensely . (the ride not necessarily the pub). I am for the most part comfortable with my own company but easily fall into conversation with others. I just wish I didn't have these random attacks that leave me devistated & emotional to the point where I struggle to deal with my mental train of thought. I know that sooner or later I am going to disappoint my wife & supposed friends by taking the "easy"

50WV Not suicidal just not super happy
  • replies: 4

I feel so frustrated at the minute I cannot find any motivation to do my job. I am letting people down and I don’t want to but I can’t find the energy. It takes everything I have at the minute just to get through the day. I recently broke my back (ca... View more

I feel so frustrated at the minute I cannot find any motivation to do my job. I am letting people down and I don’t want to but I can’t find the energy. It takes everything I have at the minute just to get through the day. I recently broke my back (can still walk but in constant pain) I quit a toxic job with nothing to fall back on. I owe a bunch of money to the ATO and my mortgage is about to double in a few weeks. I am trying to stay positive but struggling to keep up this facade. I think I’ve suffered from ptsd for last 2 yrs after my brother attempted suicide and feel like there has been a downward spiral since that I’ve struggled to come back from. He is my closer friend and I found him after he'd attempted to take his life. I guess I’m writing this to vent but also in the hope that someone reading this who is thinking of doing something extreme reads it and realizes your decisions have knock on effects to the people who care about you and you might think you are being a burden but know from someone who has had to deal with this trauma your friends and family will be far more burdened by your absence than anything you could put them through at the moment.