Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 94

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Scared mum of teen

replies: 5

Not sure if I am allowed here as it is not about me, but my daughter. she is 13 and has recently plummeted into a deep darkness. She had low points earlier in the year but this time is much worse. She is talking about life not being worth living and she started self harming. We are seeking professional help but I am at such a loss about how to help her. Hoping to gain some insight here. Thank you!

Scared of Relapsing and Attempting Again.

replies: 7

Hi. I've never posted here before but I'm desperate. These past few months I've made everyone think I'm doing mentally okay again, but it's far from true. I've been struggling with thoughts, and honestly the only thing stopping me is the fact that if I survive this one (would be my 6th or 7th within a year) everyone would be so angry with me, particularly my mother. I'm 18, and I've struggled with mental health my whole life just about. I love my family, my best friend and boyfriend, but I can't deal with any of this. I can't even really tell my therapist because of the whole 'duty of care' policy. I don't need everyone finding out I'm thinking like this again. I can't really talk about this stuff with anyone other than my therapist either, but even then I don't really tell her everything. I tell her the truth, but it's truths that don't matter. I tell her I'm disturbed, but I just use something I've already told her as my reasoning. I couldn't tell anyone the real reasons. Obviously I won't disclose them here, but my god, I'm just struggling to survive at this point. I'm so good at pretending nothing's wrong, but I can only do this for so much longer. Every day I hold on to these secrets I promised would die with me, the more i lose sight of why I'm here. I'm running out of reasons to stay. Everyone uses love as a reason, and as much as I love my family and that, I'm not entirely sure love is enough to save a wreck like me. I like such an attention seeker; posting shit like this isn't me (like at all), but I have nowhere else to turn. I know I need to tell my therapist but as I said, DOC exists and I've been burned like that before. I'm begging for help. Please.

Life’s in total disarray

replies: 1

I don’t know how or where to begin on picking myself up after getting laid off from work yesterday... I knew I had no chance of getting my job back the moment I stepped into that meeting... none of those in the meeting knew me well or how I work so all those hard work that I’ve done didn’t even save me from getting fired... most of the time I’m honest and take responsibility of any wrong doings, that bit ,me in the arse yesterday... I’m now thinking if I have said a white lie would I still have my job? I’m thinking if only I knew then what I know now I wouldn’t have done it... my work was my protective factor and now that’s gone, I don’t know what else keeps me here... My life is in shambles and empty... I wish I’m able to pick myself up as fast as others but I just don’t know where to starT...I NEED SOME REPRIEVE FROM THIS...

Too much to deal with, Sick of things, Life sucks, I don't want to keep fighting anymore

replies: 2

I am now 28 years old without planning on studying at either University or TAFE, I don't know which entry jobs I want to work, I don't have any net work or references, I have never known what to expect from a job interview, I am dependent on a job recruiter that seems useless as they all do, and to make matters worse it has a disability attached stigma because a dozen years ago I made destructive repetitive suicidal choices and got wrongly diagnosed with psychosis and then schizophrenia when I never actually had the mental illness I never developed the life skills such as washing my clothes, dishes & cutlery, or knowing how to pay bills online, no one helped me develop to become a adult and I always remained as a co - dependent man child. I never had any family or friends that explained to me how to get a rent accommodation and I never had the eligibility either without working I had creative aspirations but could never start my dreams because I was bullied all during high school and I wanted to live on my own for my own clear mind and esteem, I never learnt how to handle my high sensitivity and become tough or sociable because I wasn't out in society and co - existing in the real world, I was never close to my father and my twin brother wasn't serious about leaving home like I am I have wanted to live in the United States since I was 12 years old but I could never even travel without money, people or even being successful in Australia firstly

Re: Vent and then let it go...

replies: 97

I can't do this stupid life anymore. I just need to write this out. Because sometimes it has helped me on the past. Just to shout it out on words. I HATE THIS.. LIFE. The pain keeps happening over and over again. I cannot deal with it. Tears are in my eyes, frustration, aloneness, maybe bitterness, I hate that emotion. Just go in the name of Jesus. I forgive him. It hurts, please heal me. Where does my help come from. The maker of heaven and earth. I hurt Father God. I hurt.

Struggling to get help

replies: 258

I know this is a place where we are supposed to encourage and support each other, to offer suggestions of where help may be received and to try to be positive in our experiences of reaching out for mental health guidance and care. Unfortunately that has not been my experience for a long time living in the country. My GP kept telling me he would make an appointment with me to do a mental health care plan. That took about 6 months. At an appointment I basically told him I needed help, could he please do the plan that day and not make me wait another 4 weeks for a next appointment. The psychologist he recommended sent me an email stating with the information the Dr had written in the referral she was unable to assist me. She had not even met me! Wait another 4 weeks for another Drs appointment. A new psychologist was recommended, I had to drive to the city for this one. Had to wait a couple of months for an appointment. My appointment was to be on Thursday this week. Received an email from the psychologist stating "due to changes in his circumstances he is no longer able to offer me sessions". I go to the local hospital and am told "the Doctors are too busy seeing more important patients to be able to see you". The Nurse/Sister actually stated that to me over and over. Looks like me and my sick mind are just going to have to keep trying to support myself until it doesn't work any longer.

Why am i doing this to myself

replies: 4

Hey all, about a week ago i lost an extremely close mate to suicide due to him being really depressed and always being put down. This had really hit me extremely hard and killed me on the inside. A few days later i lost a very very close family friend to unknown course during the night. We had the funeral recently and that day really hurt me deep down. I tried to just kms to just end the pain and suffering i had gone through for the last several years but I couldn't lose my GF and I didnt want to take the easy way out. Then on Friday i went out and purchased a lot of alcohol. Friday i started to drink a few here and there then on Saturday everything was to much and i just drank 1 after the other. At about 9pm that night i texted my GF saying that i never want to talk to her nor see her ever again and shes fat. None of this is true, she is the most amazing, beautiful, kind hearted and caring person you could ever imagine. I love her so so so deeply you dont understand. Sunday I spoke to her and i read all the messages i had sent and if im honest after reading them i didnt even want to talk to myself. It hurt that much with everything i had said all because i decided to drink. Everyday i have tried and tried to talk to her and shes responded here and there then earlier today she called me and i broke down instantly. I honestly thought she never wanted to even speak to me ever again but she did, after everything i had said and done, after all the emotions i killed. She still wanted to talk and i tell you that talk was the most emotional talk i have had in a long time. I know that she still doesnt quite want to talk to me and thats understandable and im honestly just hoping we will be able to have the good chats and laughs like we use to. I need help with knowing where i need to go from this, im already trying to get myself into therapy i just need to find a place.

I’m so lonely right now

replies: 2

Right now I have felt so lonely. My friends have been hating on me lately of what I did to one of my friend’s . Couple of weeks ago, I told a school councillor about my friend that I was worried about. I have been worried about her for a long time because she selfs harms a lot and I couldn’t bare knowing this info and something bad happening and I didn’t do anything about it. She has been in denial of whole thing and she always says that she is fine, which I know her so well that she was definitely not fine. My other best friend agreed with me that she needed help and that we didn’t want anything to happen , so we agreed to tell someone we trusted. We decided to have a talk about our concerns about our friend and tell her that we supported her, I mentioned that both of us will have to tell someone because we are worried about u. Having past mental health problems I knew that getting help was the right thing to do and it helps so much, but after I mentioned it to my friend who was struggling, my other best friend who supported me with my choices said , she didn’t agree on telling someone about this and she said that she wouldn’t support me if I went through with this.Anyway couple days later got more advice from other close friends and they 100% agreed on telling someone about it and that it is the right thing to do , even if she hates u afterwards , it could save her life. Anyway I told the school councillor about everything going on, they said that they would talk to her , ring the parents up and take further action from there. They said to tell her to give her the heads up instead of just surprising her with this info. Me and my other close friends approached her and told her everything and we mentioned things on why we did this like it’s because we love u so much and can’t bare the thought of something bad happening,that’s why we did this etc. she went silent and was chill to my surprise but I could tell she was upset and mad. After going back to class , my friend who was struggling with self harm, yelled out to my friend who claimed that she would support me with trying to get our other friend help, and said “they told”, my friend approached the struggling one and said “how dare they, they are terrible friends.” I knew after that, that she didn’t want to help my struggling friend , she was using this to get closer to my other friend because she was always jealous with how close we were.Now none of my friends are talking to me and have left me on opened on everything because I did a terrible thing, they are acting like I don’t exist and that I was never friends with them.it was one of the hardest things I have had to do, but I knew it was the right thing , but now I have zero friends so I feel so lonely and I feel like no one even cared about me. Other people are telling me that she will realise that u were the good friend and that ur friend will forgive u , but it doesn’t feel like it ,and now I’m on school holidays so everyone is hanging out and I’m just home alone , bored shitless and waiting for the days to finish and sometimes I just want to disappear because I feel like no one will ever love me like I love everybody else. Did I do the right thing?

I’m drowning, and can’t find my way to the surface

replies: 1

I feel defeated. The things they say are the 5 most stressful you can go through in life, I’ve experienced them all plus more within the past 2 years, and so much trauma for my entire life. After 4 seperate deaths of my nan, mum, friend and beloved dog, and then my relationship breakdown on top of that all in just the past 5 months I have reached my limit and absolutely ready to give up, and give myself peace, finally. Why should I stay, to save others from grief and sadness if I were to go? When it means I have to TRY to live, to survive, in deep pain and anguish every single day of my life? Try to function enough to actually get through each day, working to earn money to have a roof and food. Who has the right to be free of the pain? Them, or me? Who is more selfish?Being told that things will get better in time - I just don’t believe it. My next life time maybe? I’ve been struggling for a very long time, and no matter how hard I try, things get worse, not better. More, new trauma, new events, it goes on and on.I go to a psych, walk daily, on meds, try self help tools etc. Nothing is helping, nothing. It feels hopeless. And frankly, I’m over it. My other dog is the only reason I’m still here today.I don’t know why I’m posting here or what I expect or want from it, maybe just to feel understood.

Need to get it out

replies: 1

So, feeling unhappy, almost where I was a few months back where I contemplated ending it. I have kids and a fairly supportive partner if I would let him in. I can't put the pressure of what's in my head on people who know me. My head and heart feel so heavy. I have trouble coping with the kids. Coping with the fact that I was sexually abused by a stranger near a school and now I have a sex offender across from the school. There are so many thoughts, I don't know what to focus on. We can't afford to get help. I feel fat, worthless and it's a vicious cycle of drinking and eating and then fat shaming and depression. I would rather go for a walk or be outside but there is so much to do in the house, homework, cleaning, cooking, getting ready for tomoro. I don't even have time to do everything I need to do, let alone want to do. I try and have a minute to myself but them I feel guilty and worse because there is so much need from everyone else.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 94

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Scared mum of teen replies: 5

Scared of Relapsing and Attempting Again. replies: 7

Life’s in total disarray replies: 1

Too much to deal with, Sick of things, Life sucks, I don't want to keep fighting anymore replies: 2

Re: Vent and then let it go... replies: 97

Struggling to get help replies: 258

Why am i doing this to myself replies: 4

I’m so lonely right now replies: 2

I’m drowning, and can’t find my way to the surface replies: 1

Need to get it out replies: 1