Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

by BeyondBlue •

Community Manager•

Posted in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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26-06-2026

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

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Self H@rm

replies: 8

I’ve been properly clean from self harm for like 2 years now, but things have just been building up again and all I can think about is reverting back to it. I have so much going on in my life and I’d just feel better not burdening anyone anymore

Completely Lost

replies: 0

I don't really know what I'm supposed to say. My partner and I split after 20 years together. She stopped being affectionate after our 4th child was born nearly 10 years ago. I didn't deal with it well. I tried to ignore it, pretend it would get better. I guess I never wanted to face the reality of the situation. The constant rejection turned me into an angry version of myself I never wanted to be. From then on everything was my fault, because I couldn't control my anger. I was never violent, but I would constantly shout at her at the top of my voice, mostly from pure frustration. I wanted to get help for the both of us, go to counseling. But she wouldn't have it. I'd always have to apologize for my temper, but she never once dealt with the underlying issue of what was driving my frustration. We have 4 wonderful kids. I don't want to be away from them but because we can't live together I had to travel across the country to stay with family till I can sort this out. Unfortunately my Parents are both in aged care now, and my brother who I really needed at this time has his own issues and I cant stay with him either. I've had severe health issues in the last 12 months starting with an aortic dissection, followed by thyroid cancer and just 9 weeks ago had my right kidney removed due to more cancer. I have no license. Can barely walk more than 200m due to my health, no home to live in. I have struggled with mental health issues all my life. When I was 19 I was diagnosed with severe depression. I tried ending it all on 2 different occasions. The only thing I was living for was my partner and kids. Now I don't have that I just feel like a waste of space. I don't know what I'm hoping for writing this all down. I'm on my laptop with virtually no charge, so I'm probably not even going to see a response. I guess my life is so shit I have no one else to talk to. I just dont see any point to being here anymore

mental health

replies: 2

Hi, i have a history of self harming and never speaking up or speaking to anyone when i'm feeling low or once i've hurt myself after every time i self harm i shut down and go quiet and dont tell or talk to anyone about it because i'm so scared people... View more

I don’t know if I want to die but I don’t want to exist

replies: 1

Hi I’m just struggling I have ocd and depression. I am having non stop suicidal thoughts this past week. my psychologist knows I have this but it’s getting worse and I’m feeling the urge to do it or close. But I can’t figure out if I want to die necessarily or i just don’t want to exist. i see her tomorrow and im scared of what to say im self harming and have thought about killing myself everyday and i hate it. I don’t know what my question really is. I read about suicidal ideation is this what it is? How do I explain this without going to a psych ward is my big fear.

32 M ugly, never dated, given up on life

replies: 4

32 male and honestly I think I’ve pretty much given up on life and dating. Don’t really know what I’m expecting from posting this, probably just need to get it out somewhere.I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to improve myself. Gym, improving my looks, clothes, therapy, personality, confidence, trying to make friends, getting comfortable being alone. I’ve genuinely tried.The biggest problem has always been my looks. I’ve been told I’m ugly by other people, not just something I’ve decided about myself. I have close set eyes, a large nose and a slightly recessed jaw. The eyes are probably the biggest issue. I’ve had people ask why they’re so close together, make jokes about them or point them out. After hearing that enough times, you obviously start noticing it yourself.I’ve even tried growing my hair long to hide some of the discrepancies in my face, but honestly it just makes me look worse. I’ve tried different hairstyles, facial hair, clothes and whatever else I can think of.I eventually had jaw surgery with implants which made me look better, but the eyes are still there. I’ve looked into what else could be done, but anything that might change them would be extremely invasive and understandably no surgeon wants to do it. Instead I’ve been told I have BDD and should get therapy.Maybe I do. I honestly don’t know anymore. Therapy has helped me cope, but it doesn’t change how other people see me. If the problem is partly that people don’t find me attractive, changing my perception doesn’t change their reaction.I don’t project my insecurities either. I don’t walk around telling people I’m ugly, asking for reassurance or acting entitled. I carry myself with confidence, have good values, a personality and interests, and I’ve spent years trying to become a better person.But none of that seems to matter if people aren’t attracted to you in the first place.I’m 32 and I’ve never dated. Never had a girlfriend, been on a date, kissed anyone, held hands or had sex. Nothing. I’ve also been trying to make friends for years and haven’t had much success there either.Two years ago I told myself that if I hadn’t had my first date before 30, I’d stop trying. Around that time I was severely depressed and attempted suicide. I ended up in hospital and then spent a long time in therapy.I’ve heard all the usual advice: work on yourself, don’t base your worth on dating, learn to be happy alone, challenge your thoughts, keep putting yourself out there. I’ve done a lot of it. The frustrating part is watching people who don’t seem to put much effort into any of this still have relationships, friends and normal social lives while I’m still in the same position.I’ve spoken to my therapist about where I’m at now and I’m thinking about attempting suicide again. I already know the conversation because I’ve heard it before. More coping strategies, more therapy, more trying to change how I think about myself. Sometimes it feels like I’m being taught how to tolerate a life I don’t actually want.Maybe I’m completely wrong about my looks. Maybe BDD has distorted my perception. I genuinely don’t know anymore. But it’s difficult to believe it’s all in my head when I’ve had people comment on my face and eyes throughout my life.I’m not saying women owe me anything. I just don’t know where I go from here. I’m exhausted from trying to change myself for years and getting nowhere.I’m not looking for someone to tell me I’m secretly handsome or that looks don’t matter. I’d rather hear from people who have genuinely been in a similar position and somehow managed to get out of it.

Audhd losing the will to continue

replies: 2

I am really struggling. Late diagnosed female, got the diagnosis of autism and adhd at 34. I’m 37 this year and I feel so hopeless. I do know how to be a person. I’ve just attended a birthday party with my daughter and I could not interact with anyone. I’m so awkward and strange and my brain is spinning a million miles an hour and so nothing actually comes out of my mouth. I don’t think I can be this person anymore but I don’t get that option. I don’t know why I’m here. im lost and lonely and I have no one I can talk to or help make sense of my spinning thoughts.

An overwhelming feeling of sadness and loneliness, having suicidal thoughts

replies: 2

It’s my birthday, I turned 28. I’ve lost count of how many birthdays I’ve spent alone, I do have friends and family that love me and I love them so much but I’ve felt for a while that my birthday never really mattered but when it comes to their birthdays I’m always present and love celebrating with them. Idk if I’m just being selfish or arrogant. This year it’s hitting so heavy and I just want to disappear, I don’t want to die but I want to go missing, I want to disappear

Lately TW: suicide/ self harm

replies: 1

So lately I’ve been having the feeling of killing myself, I’m 19 and have been having a hard time at home like getting into arguments over small little things and I’m over it and trying to get out but don’t know how to tell my mother that i want to move out and live with my boyfriend and his family for now, until w egret a place ourselves and when i move up there planning on getting a job up there, as where i live there’s 2 parts to the town so it’s hard to see him everyday because we live in 2 different parts in town he live son one side of the town and i live on the other, but I’ve been having the feeling that everyone would be better off without me, these feelings went away ages ago because they for some reasons come up every now and again, like this has been happening since i was in year 7 since my friendship broke apart in year 7 and had to make new friends, but just trying to get though one day at a time lately, but this weekend being at my boyfriends has helped a lot tbh, but I’ll get there i guess, but been talking to friends about it there sorta helping but it’s not really helping tbh, because sometimes i can talk to no one about this because they don’t live near me at all some live out of town and some live on a farm that are sorta in town but not at the same time. Velvet0

Still obsessing over dog

replies: 3

I sent a photo of the dog in question to my friend who thinks the dog looks fine. I can't discuss this with the owner as she is very unfriendly. I noticed the dogsnails are very long, so I text her nicely offering toys etc and a nail clipper, she hasn't responded. Thing is, it's all getting too much sometimes. I know there are other dogs who are worse treated. I've complained many times to the Animal Welfare Branch but they assure me that as long as the dog has shelter, is not tethered,food and water it's not against the law. I asked if they physically checked, but they do a drive by and tell me how they know for sure the dog is ok. I can only check over the fence when the owners are out. It eats me up so much that I've lost my appetite, can't get into watching any shows on TV I used to love. Nobody can help

I tried to OD a few weeks ago

replies: 16

I tried to OD a few weeks ago and would a doctor tell my parents about it?

Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section replies: 0

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

Self H@rm replies: 8

Completely Lost replies: 0

mental health replies: 2

I don’t know if I want to die but I don’t want to exist replies: 1

32 M ugly, never dated, given up on life replies: 4

Audhd losing the will to continue replies: 2

An overwhelming feeling of sadness and loneliness, having suicidal thoughts replies: 2

Lately TW: suicide/ self harm replies: 1

Still obsessing over dog replies: 3

I tried to OD a few weeks ago replies: 16