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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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ABC01 When tornadoes form together.
  • replies: 15

Hi,My name is ABC01. I am not going to harm myself or others. I recently experienced a traumatic death and have been diagnosed with Major Depression,Mixed Anxiety Disorder and PTSD. I have been having dark thoughts in the last couple of weeks and the... View more

Hi,My name is ABC01. I am not going to harm myself or others. I recently experienced a traumatic death and have been diagnosed with Major Depression,Mixed Anxiety Disorder and PTSD. I have been having dark thoughts in the last couple of weeks and the right people do know about this.I have an anger tornado about my grief and I have a sadness tornado about my grief. Recently they started to merge and bad thoughts have been coming into my mind. Like I don’t know how I am possibly supposed to live out the rest of my life. Possibly 40 more years. How do I do it? Do I want to do it? Like it is now? What is keeping me here and exactly how much do I care about that? Would that be selfish of ME to contemplate my existence and what that would mean to be non existent?Why should I care if it is about me. Other people can take care of themselves. I mostly am exhausted. I don’t think I want to die. I think I just want all the intense emotions, energy and constantly have to fight/struggle every day to survive to just shut up. I would like to stop pretending. I am used to life kicking me down and dealing with heavy situations. This by far is the hardest and heaviest life event I have ever had to deal with,and the others have been pretty bad too. Life is just going to keep kicking me. That is how it has been for me. I used to think suicide was Selfish,but now I am starting to understand more,why people come to that point. Thank you for listening. ABC01

Janey_beyond Self harm, eating disorder (bit of a ramble)
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, hope you’re all well.Havent hit a ‘rock bottom’ in a few months, but this weekend has been particularly challenging. I find every weekend I get the ‘blues’ because I am quite isolated and have a lack of routine out of my weekdays. I have... View more

Hi everyone, hope you’re all well.Havent hit a ‘rock bottom’ in a few months, but this weekend has been particularly challenging. I find every weekend I get the ‘blues’ because I am quite isolated and have a lack of routine out of my weekdays. I haven’t self-harmed since starting antidepressants (in a few months) until the weekend which is when I know things are getting particularly bad. I have been crying so much that I’ve gotten headaches and my stomach was in physical pain. I ended up contacting a helpline and vomited during the phone call weirdly enough. I am curious to know if anyone would know why this might have happened? I am still young but would never think I would go through this much pain in my life at my age. When I am depressed, I find myself ruminating about all the ‘bad things’ that have happened to me and feel sorry for myself. I thought things were getting better but I end up back in the same cycle. I wish I just had a friend that I could talk to or hug. Someone that would tell me everything’s going to be okay. I wish I could tell my younger self that but I feel I would be lying. It’s also been hard for me to go out without criticising my appearance and feeling uncomfortable in my skin. And when I do, people, particularly men, have made me feel extremely uncomfortable or I even experience people yelling at me from their cars when I go for walks. I often see other girls who are extremely pretty and wish I was them. I feel like my life would be more simple if I was just ‘prettier’. I’ve spoken about this with my therapist as I am also recovering from an ED, but in recovery it’s extremely hard to go against society’s expectations as there is so much value placed on looks that we are made to believe it defines our worth. When you recover from an ED you have to unlearn that belief, which is challenging. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just give in and only be something people want to look at.Thank you for listening

Guest_39137288 I don't really see a point in living at all. Existential/nihilistic crisis, I guess?
  • replies: 3

I don't see any meaning in life and don't really want to live anymore. I've been questioning why I do anything at all since I was a young teenager. At some point, I think I came to the conclusion: "I should live to make myself happy and/or make other... View more

I don't see any meaning in life and don't really want to live anymore. I've been questioning why I do anything at all since I was a young teenager. At some point, I think I came to the conclusion: "I should live to make myself happy and/or make other people happy" And that must have worked for a while... But now, I'm questioning: "Why does happiness matter?" After all, suspending any beliefs beyond the physical world, when one abstracts happiness to its basic components; is it not just "The right neurons releasing the right neurotransmitters at the right time"? Why do I even exist in the first place? Being an atheist, I believe I came from a line of species that was most fit to survive in their environment at the time. I believe that line of species originates from some kind of primordial soup. In that primordial would have been a simpler form of life, such as bacteria: Cells without a brain, without will, "alive" because the metabolic reactions taking place in and around them sustain themselves. That's all I think they were, self-sustaining metabolic reactions. The result of the laws of chemistry just simply existing. This is what I believe I am. This makes me think there is no point in life and I'm just the result of natural selection after the laws of chemistry/physics. But, I'm not just some unembodied consciousness drifting in a void, I'm a human in a body, a brain: I have emotions. I still feel sadness and inevitably will, but I don't see a point in suffering through it. So, why not just die? I mean, there's totally more questions to be asked though, like: How/Why does this universe even exist in the first place? How/Why are physics and chemistry like that? If happiness can be abstracted to a bunch of chemicals (i.e. neurotransmitters) at the right place/time, what can the particles that make the atoms that make those chemicals be abstracted to? (I have no clue) Is there any meaning in the answers to these questions? On a more personal note: I began socially withdrawing 2 years ago, I started SHing about 4 months ago and I feel like I might allow myself to die if I can't see a reason to live or at the very least, feel motivated enough to live. I have people in my life who miss me and be affected by my death, so I'd like to avoid going through with that... But I guess, if I look at what I've been typing, It wouldn't really matter... If you guys have anything to say; philosophical, anecdotal or otherwise: Please do, I would love to hear it. thx 4 reading my super long post.

alone4eva unwanted human
  • replies: 5

well pretty much the title says it all. I'm 45 unemployed, unemployable, have no friends and no family. i live for my two dogs. and i seriously fear when i no longer have them. i spent my life depressed, i suppose i thought someone was going to save ... View more

well pretty much the title says it all. I'm 45 unemployed, unemployable, have no friends and no family. i live for my two dogs. and i seriously fear when i no longer have them. i spent my life depressed, i suppose i thought someone was going to save me. o how silly that thought was. now I'm totally alone, out of shadowshape physically and emotionally. i no longer see any reason to live other than these dogs. I've tried re engaging in old interests like computer programming. but it's no longer interesting for me. perhaps i just know it's too late what's the use. I'm constantly fighting off thoughts of suicide. one look at me and everyone avoids me as I've got the sicko look. i just can't stand being around people anymore. humans are pretty awful these days. i have lived on the Gold Coast all my life and well I've never enjoyed it. i want to move away to some small town in the middle of nowhere but IM not allowed to because I'll lose my welfare. I'm not wanted here and can't leave so i often find myself just planning to unlife myself. nothing to look forward to and nothing to bring to the table. why continue the misery. that's what i wonder. why continue... this has been my life since 25 so 20 years of isolation, sometimes i try and willc my heart to stop. i can't work because i need to sleep every 3 or 4 hours.

pyjamarama I relapsed and I'm terrified of losing my boyfriend
  • replies: 1

I'm 19 and my boyfriend has been living with my family for about a month or so now due to his home life being bad. There was an incident early on into this where i hurt myself after he stopped talking to me because he saw pictures id had in my locked... View more

I'm 19 and my boyfriend has been living with my family for about a month or so now due to his home life being bad. There was an incident early on into this where i hurt myself after he stopped talking to me because he saw pictures id had in my locked folder of some self harm from about 6 months ago when i accidentally opened the folder in front of him. id been clean for about 6 months previous to this and when he found out I'd started hurting myself he lost it and tried to hurt himself in front of me and wasn't able to forgive me or himself for a couple of days. I promised him i wouldn't do it again I had an argument with my mum this morning and she threatened to send me away to live with my dad and call the police and the hospital on me, ive never had an argument this bad before with my mum and i hurt myself again and I'm really scared he's not going to take it well. i feel so awful because it never used to be an issue since noone would see it, but now i have someone who does notice and i know by doing this I've directly hurt him and I dont know how he's gonna react, i really love him and i dont know what id do if i lost him because it feels like he's one of my only friends sometimes.

Amaryllis Is it normal?
  • replies: 3

Hi, this is my first time trying this but I need some advice. I'm 16 and have had a history of SH since i was 12. I don't really know what started it. I have tried to stop but I keep going back to it, even when nothings wrong I just find myself relap... View more

Hi, this is my first time trying this but I need some advice. I'm 16 and have had a history of SH since i was 12. I don't really know what started it. I have tried to stop but I keep going back to it, even when nothings wrong I just find myself relapsing again. I always feel like I'm being overdramatic when it comes to my mental health and feel like I'm faking the whole thing. Earlier this year I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression and had tried therapy but honestly it didn't help at all. I want to be able to tell my parents but they think that putting me in therapy solved all my issues and they are not people I feel comfortable sharing this with. As much as this is horrible a part of me wants to get worse and never recover. Is it normal to feel like this or am I just attention seeking? I've also many times found myself thinking about wanting to die but never having a plan. Like I have thought about most likely methods I would use but I never actively wanted to pursue any of them. Some were brief and some really strong. Last night i found myself having these thoughts in my dream. I don't want to die but I want to disappear. I have intrusive thoughts about hurting myself, but I don't know if its related. Am I even making any sense haha? there was a lot more that I wanted to say but I don't know how to put it into words. I really don't know what to do.

alasdayr Intellectual existence
  • replies: 80

I have been living the treadmill for a while now. I have a nice house, a stable job, a faithful wife that cares about me and our family and an adult daughter. Following a bout of major depression, I have anhedonia (avolition, but no anergia). I have ... View more

I have been living the treadmill for a while now. I have a nice house, a stable job, a faithful wife that cares about me and our family and an adult daughter. Following a bout of major depression, I have anhedonia (avolition, but no anergia). I have energy to get things done that I see need doing. Nothing makes me feel good more than momentarily. Most pleasurable activities make me crave discomfort (or worse). My mood is generally flat and I do not feel much in the way of emotion (happy, sad, angry, jealous, etc..). I have nothing I want to achieve. I have nothing that I want to do. I have nowhere I want to go. I have no people I want to meet. Helping others does not make me feel good. Achieving things seems hollow. I have no fear of dying. I have no fear of pain (also a very high pain tolerance). About most things I truly do not care. I have an entire alphabet of mental health conditions diagnosis (ASD, CPTSD, OCD, BPD, MDD, PDD). I have had another alphabet worth of treatment (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, Schema, TMS). Some are still ongoing. I have an upbringing of care for family and self sacrifice. I take care of myself so I can do things for family so they remain comfortable. Its all done by rote. I have been taught/trained over my treatments not to self harm. I often think about it... These thoughts do not worry or disturb me. I keep busy so I don't dwell on them. My family wants and needs me. I have been in constant mental health care over the past 4 years. I have been in hospital numerous times. I have been on (and am now off) antidepressants. I regularly see psychologists and a psychiatrist. I will ask my psychiatrist for another round of TMS next time we meet. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have more than a lot of people. I am in good physical health. I seem to avoid misfortune. I don't feel worthy of my good fortune. Is this as good as it gets?

Soouez Can people really get better?
  • replies: 3

I am 54 yrs of age and I have suffered with a mental illness since I was 21 yrs of age. I just have a question. Can you really get better? Has anyone on here gotten better? I have been wondering lately what hope is there and why am I working so hard ... View more

I am 54 yrs of age and I have suffered with a mental illness since I was 21 yrs of age. I just have a question. Can you really get better? Has anyone on here gotten better? I have been wondering lately what hope is there and why am I working so hard for something that is not achievable. I am safe today but not always. If you knew me you wouldn't think here is a lady with suicidal thoughts. I am good at hiding how I feel to protect others feelings. I have professional support but it doesn't help. I would probably say that the psychologist appointments make me feel worse. I have seen loads so don't really see the point in trying another and going through my story again. I just want to know, from other sufferers, if there really is some hope. Thank you for reading.

Rosie What's the point?
  • replies: 3

What do u do if you have:No supportVery little moneyNo familyNo friendsNoone likes me and I just can't connect to ANYONE, and I don't know why I'm this way. So what is the point!!!

What do u do if you have:No supportVery little moneyNo familyNo friendsNoone likes me and I just can't connect to ANYONE, and I don't know why I'm this way. So what is the point!!!

AcresOfSkin Tired of living
  • replies: 2

Hi, Im a 39 year old male, and I'm sick of living. I can't think of any time in my life that I've been happy and wonder if I can even feel things like that. It's like im either apathetic or depressed, no positivity. I've tried a few things, but I str... View more

Hi, Im a 39 year old male, and I'm sick of living. I can't think of any time in my life that I've been happy and wonder if I can even feel things like that. It's like im either apathetic or depressed, no positivity. I've tried a few things, but I struggle to see the value in continuing to struggle when there isn't really an outcome. I've just found a job after 6 months of being out of work after I had a breakdown and was unable to do my previous job (IT Industry). I'm really struggling with this new job too, and really don't know what to do if I can't get it working. It's hard to do anything or make a decision when I really don't care because I'd rather not be here at all. I' m not in immediate danger. Thanks for reading, Steven