Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Break up

replies: 1

My partner and I recently broke up and I’m really struggling with it. We have decided to stay friends and keep in contact but I’m still grieving our future together as partners and I don’t know what our friendship will now look like. I feel at risk of doing something and I feel like I can’t turn to anyone, not even him. I want to be with him again but I don’t think my family will like that because of the circumstances that happened before we broke up. I never thought this day would come as I planned on having him in my life forever and saw myself getting married to him. I also can’t see myself with anyone else and the thought of it makes me feel sick. I’m struggling to eat and with basic cognitive functioning.

its getting more difficult

replies: 1

Hi, never thought that I would next to post something in beyond blue or something similar but I think after almost 2 decades I’m at my breaking point finally. Im a male, grew up with the mantra that “boys don’t cry”, growing up I was bullied relentlessly, the type that never had friends not being able to talk to anyone about it, as the school would put the blame on me (yes the school put the blame on me) so some times the only option was self harm. During this time I became good at hiding my emotions and feelings and these days I have mastered it. When I left school something came out about a teacher. (Took me years to realise that I was in fact being groomed) as you can imagine depression and more self harm ensued. Fast forward a few years, scars heal and slowly feel better. A relationship opened my eyes up, that I don’t deal with emotion too well and I am truely a lonely person, even if there are other people around me. It’s like I don’t connect on the same way length as others. Rough breakup, leads to more mental issues + self harm. Move forward 6 or 7 years and things start to look better, get married and enjoy life a little bit. Join a volunteer Fire Brigade love every minute of it. Things move along nicely, but I started to keep a diary as I noticed in my self that I have high highs and the absolute lowest of lows and haven’t quit worked out if I’m bipolar or not yet. But move on to current day, I feel as though I am at my lowest possible low. I constantly feel numb, I feel out of place and I question my point of existence. I feel ignored and un-noticed and lonely, all of the time. I have days where they are really good then the emotions come crashing down and feel horribly low and it’s difficult to pick that back up. When I volunteer time to the brigade and local community, I feel great, working on a trail, I feel great. The moment I get in my car to go home that low hits hard. Im posting here because I feel ashamed to talk to anyone, I worry that if I talk a professional, I will get a label that will make me end up in some psych ward somewhere. It’s been a hot minute since I have self harmed, it’s defiantly been on my mind of late. They say that life starts in your 30’s but it feels like it’s ending. There is more I would add here but might keep it here for now .

Frightened

replies: 46

Hi Im 61 Im beyond tired of doctors and dealing with people who dont have depression. I live in a windowless room slowly going under. I want to go out onto the street and call out help me pleaseIm so afraid if I look to deep at my reality I wont be able to handle it.I had depression and anxiety for years , been hospitalised and all the usual ups and downs. But this time is different like I dodged too many bullets and this time I wont get out of this living hell. So only suicide is left. I mean I really cant see things changing. I was desperate to stop this downhill spiral that I thought if I get a job that will save me. But now Im too sick to go to work and the new employer doesnt understand where I am and why. I now getting anxiety about thatI feel like screaming help or at least please understand me. I feel I can only relate to others with depression

I don’t know anymore

replies: 1

It’s interesting how our minds work. We can be so accepting and nonjudgmental towards others but as soon as we think of ourselves there’s nothing but negative thoughts. This is what I have been told anyways. But the thing is.. it isn’t just that simple. People ask me what my plans are for the future but I can never answer that because I don’t see one. I’m tired of feeling worthless all the time and the thing is when you have no friends all you do in your spare time is think… and thinking is my downfall. Because that’s when I realise that I have no one, that’s when I realise that I’ve messed things up, it’s also when I realise that it will just be easier if I wasn’t here because what am I leaving behind anyways besides feeling like shit all the time?

Where to from here?

replies: 5

I grew up with the end goal of never living past 27, and now I am almost 31 and that scares me. I never made plans, never anticipated living this long. I moved from one country to another in hopes I could find a drive, make a plan, find a life, but it’s been a lonely existence here. Making friends - genuine friends - is hard in another country. My sense of humour is dark, my many different jobs have also been dark, and I find myself more alone than I’ve ever been. I find it hard to connect with people when the things I have seen makes me not want to waste time on superficial conversation. I just wish I could make a deep and meaningful connection. I wish I could just put the rose-tinted glasses back on and pretend that my life isn’t mundane, or for nothing. I wake up, I go to work where I sit on my own for eight hours a day, I go home and sleep - repeat. I try to get past my fear of people by going to local events, but frankly I’m so scared. People leave, and I stay where I am. I feel I am just existing. I have nothing to show for my life. No career goals, debt, friends that are in another country with their own lives to lead, people who left when they garnered something better. I am alone, utterly alone. I wasn’t meant to live this long, the constant reminder on my brain as I get closer and closer to my birthday, another year wasted. What do I do here? I am in a foreign country and I can’t keep doing this. I need help, direction - something, anything. Please.

hi guys

replies: 6

i am new so like yeah i have been thoeugh a lot ithink of just killing mh self sometimes

Depression, anxiety, parents fighting, bullying.

replies: 1

This is a safe space to talk about Depression, anxiety, parents fighting, bullying.Or you having suicidal thoughts or you do self harm. No one will ever know. Expect for this group!

She showed me the scars

replies: 3

Hello, my 14 yr old has been really depressed and self harming for about a year now. It has been a rough ride. A couple of months ago she became really suicidal and I think she even had a kind of an attempt. With the help of one of her friends and her psychologist she seems better now. In fact she says she has not self harmed for almost a month, the longest she has ever gone and she feels a bit better and can see with more clarity what she has done. From the outside she certainly seems better. I know suicidal people can seem better before they carry out a plan but I don’t think that’s where she is at and the psychologist agrees. As part of her feeling better and with summer coming, she has decided to show me her scars so that I can come to terms with them and she can have more freedom to where what she likes in summer. the scars are in her right arm. She is totally covered from shoulder to elbow and she has a few more between elbow and wrist. she told me not to react when I saw them and yet I did. It was just a very sad “oh Sweetpea” but of course I should not have said anything. She showed me the elbow to wrist yesterday (which I did not react to) then spent most of today crying about it and calling helplines about it while she was out. Little did I know how much worse the rest of her arm was. We talked about it but even though I initially said she could wear what she wanted, when I saw the severity of it I suggested sticking to short sleeves rather than sleeveless. She was hurt by that she told me later and she explained why which I sort of get but I also realise that those scars are obvious and the source unmistakable and I worry about her having to cope with questions or being seen differently by people (for years to come!) and I won’t lye, I worry about people judging me too, I know it is not about me but this is a factor too. I feel like enough if a failure already I can’t cope with any questions.and then there is her 8 yr old sister which I am desperate to shield from this. My teen agrees and she is not planning to wear anything that shows her scars around her sister.my questions are:1. Would like any insight anyone might have and how to help my teen stay on the recovery path (needless to say I am finding it hard to relax)2. What do we do if her sister sees the scars?thanks!

Guess it could be worse?

replies: 1

Be prepared for a life story, but I feel I need to write it. (sorry) TRIGGER WARNING. I wrote my life story but was way more than the 2500 Characters. So Guess I'll just say Hi and i'm 7 days sober, but still feeling super unwell and wanting to end it all. I have been going though the redress scheme over the last year and it's really triggering. Is there anyway I can share my story, that is longer than the 2500 words? Thanks.

What to do?

replies: 2

I struggled with mental health and depression for a long time when i was younger. Bullying and family issues lead to it starting. I SH but refused to beleive i was depressed and frequently thought about suicide, I nearly commited. I'm ok now. Im 17 b... View more

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Break up replies: 1

its getting more difficult replies: 1

Frightened replies: 46

I don’t know anymore replies: 1

Where to from here? replies: 5

hi guys replies: 6

Depression, anxiety, parents fighting, bullying. replies: 1

She showed me the scars replies: 3

Guess it could be worse? replies: 1

What to do? replies: 2