Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Can't do this anymore

replies: 5

I don't feel safe at Mother's house. I tried telling my dad, but I texted him on my friend's phone and he thought it was my friend. I can't go to the police because they might not believe me. I don't think my Dad loves me anymore and my Mother is hurting me verbally and psychologically. I've had episodes where I can't control my body and it just wanders around and I feel that one day it's going to commit suicide for me and most of the time I can't remember what happened in these episodes. I see things and I hear things that aren't there and that no one else sees or hears and they tell me that my Mother is going to kill me. I can't sleep at night because the thoughts of suicide and the voices are too loud. I can't tell my friends but I need to tell my friends. The tape I so desperately put on the shards of my life is losing it's grip and I don't have any more tape. All I can do is watch as the pieces fall and shatter into tinier pieces waiting for someone to try and fix it and cut themselves. What do I do? I can't keep going through this loop. Again, and again, and again, it's all the same. What's the point of waking up to a new day when it's just the same as yesterday? My world is colourless but no matter how much paint I splash onto it, it stays the same. Same. Same. Same. I get so close to calling Lifeline, but then I back away because what if they call the police? What if the police put me in a foster home? What if the police don't believe me and place me with my Mother? I don't think anyone can help me now. I'm stuck in a hole at the bottom of the sea and no matter what I do I can't swim out. I'm scared but I'm scared of myself. The voices tell me the police won't believe me. The voices tell me no one will believe me. The voices tell me I'm stupid for thinking someone would. My happy hallucinations I once had can't comfort me anymore. What do I do? My friends can't help me. My dad can't help me. My family can't help me. Not even I can help myself. Because I lose consciousness and forget everything that happened. I'm surprised I'm even posting this because I'm worried Beyond Blue will send the police and everyone will hate me and the voices will laugh at me and call me a coward for not saying anything when it first happened. This is all getting too much. I just need peace and quiet and my dad to love me again and for everything to go back to the way it was when the voices were nicer and quieter and when my hallucinations still worked.

Instant rage and anger

replies: 2

Hey all, I suffered a workplace assualt and psychological injury 6 years ago. As a result I have been diagnosed with Adjustment disorder and PTSD. I have fortnightly therapy and a psychiatrist. I have worked with cognitive behaviour therapy and talk therapy.I have struggled to find medication that works for me personally and I feel rather alone and at dispare.Late last year I had a attack where I got verbally aggressive and lost control since I have had several other but smaller. Recently I had another where I was extremely ashamed of my behaviour, I was uncontrollable It scared me terribly and my teenage daughter, who unfortunately seemed to be my trigger lately. I feel terrible and ashamed to admit that. Her lack of remorse, eye rolling and laughing when I'm angry makes my blood boil. I've now realised that this feeling is anger and rage at a really disproportionate level.I'm scared of my self, I'm scared I'm destroying my family, I feel extremely alone tired and sore and worst of all ashame. My behaviour needs to stop and I really need to take back control to be the mum and wife I want to be. Can anyone tell me anything they have done to control this instant aggressive uncontrollable rage episode before they begin. Thanks in advance

I can't stop hurting myself

replies: 2

it's kinda weird because I don't necessarily feel depressed. I know what it feels like to be depressed or really depressed to the point where I feel the need to feel something real but right now, I genuinely don't feel depressed and yet I find myself... View more

Suicidal thoughts and anger

replies: 1

I've been dealing with anxiety and depr

i think its Over

replies: 1

All i do is think about my appearance, and wish I was as beautiful as my friend. People say we look very alike and identical but I feel absolutely inferior, Like a lessened version of her. I shamefully feel threatened when people who are attracted to me or find me pretty see her because I know they think she’s prettier. I feel like those people just settle for me. And i have been struggling financially as well. I feel like a nuisance to everybody around me. I just wish I was beautiful. I know beauty comes in all shapes and sizes but I have none of it at all and I feel like in my situation i should have at least something. Even at school i only feel tolerated, not wanted now that my close friends left. The remaining girls are nice and talk to me and laugh with me but I feel unneeded and unwanted in their vicinity. All i do at school is feel unwanted ugly depressed and envious. And at home it is worse. I dont take care of myself and I am ashamed of the way I live. It feels so insanely unfair that this is the life I have been given. And when i talk about it all i get is ‘Be grateful, people have less’. Respectfully I dont care about anybody else. All i have been is selfless and putting people above me. I put myself down just because other people are uncomfortable by my successes even when I feel so low of myself already. For once I want to be able to be selfish and get things for myself too. My dreams are about feeling ugly, jealous, afraid , etc, I cant find comfort even in my sleep. but I pretend to everybody else that I’m happier than ever because all people see me do is laugh and smile. I am beyond miserable

I need help and guidance

replies: 4

Hi, I've been going through a lot of things for the past decade, and things got worse during high school. I am out of high school now but things are still so overwhelming. My parents are unsupportive and they don't believe that my depression is real, or that my self-harm and anxiety is real either. I've been trying to help myself for years but recently I've just gotten so exhausted. Because I migrated twice, I have no deep long term connections. My partner was the only one who showed up when things got really bad, but they have no idea what they're doing either and they rely on me to tell them what to do. I guess I just need advice. I've been trying to learn how to regulate myself, learning the next steps, and not burdening other people. Now I'm just tired.

wishing i was dead and just sharing about how i feel about life

replies: 27

i am not sure how to use this forum. i dont want to post anything into a public forum which might be wrong to post. i want to tell anyone how i am feeling and what i have been thinking about. but i realise that some or much of my life situation might be my own fault. maybe im not strong enough or motivated enough to keep myself well and handling life. i get sad and i worry about life. many have worries about money and how to pay for everything that life might throw at us. i dont want everything to be about money and i am unsure but thinking that other struggles are happening to. as the title says i wish i was dead. have wished for this for many years. but i guess here i am just trying to talk about why and what i feel like. i guess i just feel like life can be to difficult to handle sometimes. it feels like very often or even everyday. im sorry if not text not laid out well. was going to be all one paragraph until i tried to split things up. all this in this post might be to much stuff. i feel like i have so much to say but not sure if it is ok to say it all here. i have tried to talking to lifeline and beyond blue about how i have been feeling. i tried quite a bit of working, volunteering and doing some study during my 20s and 30s. there was enough problems during doing these things. having always had trouble working etc might affect how much money is available. maybe i dont trust people. maybe i feel like i cant handle people and problems. maybe i am worried that i will not be able to handle much of what life throws at us at different times. just the last few weeks, i have been worried about anything that could and does happen in life. i have not felt ok. i have felt sad. have had problems getting along with family for a long time. and even just the last few months have had to little to no contact with family. my family would be currently only 3 people. i only have a few friends. i am feeling guilty now for wishing my life was over. i have felt this way because my life feels like it has been to much worry and sadness etc. i am worried if i will be handle anything and everything that might happen in life. i try to avoid people quite often because obv it seems easier to avoid. i dont feel like i get on well with people and i feel like i cant handle people and problems. there might or might not often be problems. i wanted to use this to share thoughts and feelings. but im not sure it is going ok.

i have no friends since 2011

replies: 2

read title everyone hates me and i havecptsd from people abusing me and i cant do this anymore im a kind person im not racist or misogynist

how to find motivation to live again

replies: 2

hi everyone, i’m writing here because i am too ashamed to keep speaking to my friends about the same issues that they think i’ve ‘healed’ from. i’m a 15 year old girl, and objectively my life is not that bad. from the outside i get good grades, i’m told i’m pretty, i even get hit on, i have lots of supportive friends and a supportive family. however i have been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts my entire life and recently they have only been getting worse. i’m not going to write my entire life’s story but generally i am ashamed of my past (depression and self neglect) and it feels like these depressive episodes are plaguing my entire life. last year was a mix between suicide attempts and self harm and a fun, memory filled year. i was getting told on a daily basis that i am beautiful, i would get asked for my socials, i would experience people envying me, i even got awards and certificates for my grades. however i would come home just to hurt myself and wish i was dead. i will never forget the time i came home from a school day full of laughter and fun, taking funny pictures with my friend and only 2 hours later i was in urgent care with my self harm fully exposed and wounds that are permanent. it just never feels enough. i am not ugly but i am not stunning enough, i am not poor but i am not wealthy enough, i am not dumb but i am not smart enough, etc. i don’t feel enough, and i often feel like i have nothing going for me at all. there’s a girl at my school 2 years older than me who i am terribly envious of and people say we look identical all the time but i don’t see it at all and feel incredibly inferior to her. she is skinnier and prettier and i feel like a knock off of her. i have been feeling so ugly recently especially now that i am not at school and not surrounded by compliments or gazes like before anf that has led me to reconsider suicide like always. people have called me beautiful, rich, smart, funny, social, kind, talented, etc. so why can’t i feel any of it???? i feel trapped in a perception i can’t change. it is so exhausting feeling ugly and stupid and being invalidated when i open up about it just because people have a different perception of me. i just want to be and feel beautiful. i understand i may come across as shallow or ungrateful but i genuinely cannot see myself as anything but hideous and i find no point in continuing to live if i have to live with this body and this face. i don’t want to settle for less. i just want to have all or nothing. i want to be the girl people see me as. it feels like everyone is deluded and seeing me with rose tinted glasses and one day they will realize i am actually hideous and poor. living has become simply unbearable and i see no way out. i’m writing here in an attempt to find a different solution because right now i feel like i could only opt for death

Is my mind fabricating sadness?

replies: 4

hi, to the kind souls reading this, im annabel and i am very thankful that you are reading this, sorry that its a long one im 16 turning 17 in a few weeks, and i promised myself that i would not exist past 16. Ive had this thought since i was 14. but in between 14-16 i was happy as in i did school well, befriended my best friends and grew more confident (thankful for the people in my lfie). But for the past few months ive started to feel fatigued or ive just felt hollow, like all people view me is a shell or a mask ive put up and not the true me(if i even know who that is)? But it wasnt a mask before; its as if ive changed drastically and ive lost who i am. I heard its called an ego death? - loss of identity and truth in one self. Then i found out my parents are going to have a divorce once i become financially stable and only stayed together because i was born an accident. Thus ive been a burden. I wont get into too much detail. It just makes me feel down for some reason. But to my core i dont even know i feel it - kind of hollow feeling, as if i haven’t existed or my existence is pointless in that its ok if i dont exist? It will end my “suffering” if i leave, and will cause little pain for others, cause how can they miss a picture of myself i put up? How can they miss someone they dont know? Maybe im being overdramatic or this is all fake. Nothing ive done is successive so is my sadness amounted to physically nothing? Maybe all i want is a label for how im feeling because all im doing is spirally everynight but i feel like im begging to be diagnosed depressed and not truely it? Like its all fake? I cant do my school work, i get tired moving and i have no joy in things i like anymore. I dont have motivation to get better, or maybe i find comfort in this. My head is becoming a war and all i want to do is cry. I am a happy person, i can change this, its all fabricated versus this is who i am and i want to keep being in this sadness. My question is; is what im feeling normal? Does everyone have these thoughts? Should i go get help? (maybe im scared that doctors will say that this is normal and i will get over it.?? Whenever i open up i feel like im lying just to have soemthing medical (“a proper reason”) to justify my sadness, i sound like a really awful person sorry) im sorry

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Can't do this anymore replies: 5

Instant rage and anger replies: 2

I can't stop hurting myself replies: 2

Suicidal thoughts and anger replies: 1

i think its Over replies: 1

I need help and guidance replies: 4

wishing i was dead and just sharing about how i feel about life replies: 27

i have no friends since 2011 replies: 2

how to find motivation to live again replies: 2

Is my mind fabricating sadness? replies: 4