Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Tired

replies: 5

I’m so tired of life. The only reason I keep going is I’m all my kids have. Their dad cut them out if his life 3 years ago because they look like me. I’m so exhausted. My youngest has autism, I work fulltime and do work on the side and I’m just so ti... View more

No one actually cares

replies: 1

I’m on medicationi see a psychiatrist i just called lifeline and if many things I explained how one of the things that messes with me is that after an hour with the psychiatrist your “time is up” Thought it was going well but then after half an hour she said it’s “time to end the call” guess I’m not suicidal enough i don’t want to die i wNt to live for my kids i was cheated on 6 years ago and left for another man no abuse, nothing sinister. I am a good man. But since then I have struggled with both anxiety and depression on pills prescribed by the doc and I’m seeing a psychiatrist as already said but it doesn’t change anything i feel pain everyday my day is wake upfeel painworkfeel painwork more because child support doesn’t care and I’m paying a huge amount more than I shouldhave kids - because I have them 50%and then I feel like a beerand one always turns into manynow I’m an alcoholic that is seeking support for that A more money I have my kids literally 50% but I still pay $340 a week child support On top of that - i pay all of their sports, my eldest (I have 3) doeshigh end sport so that alone is >$5k a year, plus her other one and then the second girl does 3 things and the you youngest boy does a couple things (trying not to be too specific just in case) no one cares as long as mum is ok, everyone is ok. and then my eldest says “mum can’t afford our lunch orders this week” on a Friday it is about $10 each for a Lunch order. Meanwhile she just got new sunglasses worth $300. Tattoos, you name or.the system doesn’t care i always try to do the right thing “mum must just be going through a hard time” but she does cash on the side plus Centrelink payments, plus she is still with the aforementioned man who has his own income. She was supposed to keep them on private health but then when the first big op came up no, we had to spend double (which I pay half) because she had taken them off without my knowledge because she “couldn’t afford it” In the meantime she had a tummy tuck and god knows what else because she wanted to look better. the system doesn’t care about the kids and definitely not the person who makes money, they just feed the person who makes the least. Great job Australia. im just about done with it all the only thing holding me here is my 3 amazing children who are innocent and I would never let know this drama. guess the only reason I’m here is god I hope someone has had the same experience and made it through and can me some guidance. there isn’t any more ‘medical’ prescribed things I can be doing.

It hurts to much to keep going

replies: 7

My husband of 20 years told me in Jan 2023 that he wasn’t sure what he wanted anymore. I suffer from extreme GAD with a lot of panic attacks, and have never been fully treated - tbh I’ve only just come to understand how bad it has been and how miserable I made our lives. I alternated between needing to control ever aspect of our lives, to refusing to get out of bed some days.All last year I tried to fix things, but it was too late, I had pushed him so far away that the love had vanished. He was a wonderful husband. Kind, generous, thoughtful and tolerant. But I didn’t appreciate him.He was so unhappy, rundown and overworked for years. He took on all the financial, parenting, home burdens.In January this year, he moved out to work on his own mental health. I tried to balance working on my own, while suddenly becoming a single parent. I was starting to feel much better and learning to cope, and decided to ask if we could gradually try again. Then two weeks ago I was given the bombshell - he has been seeing someone else, since March. Too scared to tell me because he knew how terribly I would react.I don’t want to do this life without him. I am completely destroyed. I still love him with all my heart and soul. I don’t want to hurt my girls and leave them without a mother, but most days I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. I’m scared to be alone because the thoughts and the grief are overwhelming. He has our youngest today, taken her and the new girlfriend to his family for Christmas. I used to easily sleep 9-10 hours a night. Now I wake at 3am and start crying and wondering if I would be better off gone as the pain is unbearable.

Thinking of ending life

replies: 1

Hi, I am 37 and a mother of 2 boys. Lately, I have been feeling very low and no self-worth. I have been thinking of ending my life. I don't know how or when but I just want to disappear and not be a burden to people. I find it hard to tell my family about my thoughts because I don't want them to worry about me, especially with Christmas happening. I want to just go somewhere and not take anything with me but I don't know where else to go.

Passive suicidal ideation

replies: 2

I am 65 and have suffered anxiety and depression for most of my life. I am now struggling with the wish to die but not suicidal. It’s Christmas and I just want it over with. I have lost all ability to enjoy life

I want to do it but there’s to much to leave behind.

replies: 2

Hi I’m a 13yo with 2 sisters and my mum and dad. I’ve wanted to harm myself on and off for a while but there’s so much left to do. When I look back on life everyone go’s “oh you’ve had such a good life” but when I look back all I see is sadness depression and bullying. I struggle with school, home, friends, family and myself. I HATE myself and I want to kill or harm myself but I know that it won’t fix anything in a good or bad way. I just don’t know what to do.

I wanna die but im so selfish and lowkey scared

replies: 1

When ur so selfish that u think abt these thoughts and ur self so much but u so selfish bc you want those who don’t want you there to suffer and ur so self obsessed like they would actually care that your gone but you make urself think that bc it mak... View more

Finding things hard

replies: 2

Hey I have a 7 month old baby. Married for 7 months. My husband is not an emotional person he doesn’t talk much and it’s hard to get any kind of support from him. I’m currently on maternity leave from work using my LSL and annual leave to be at home. I’m going back to work in a month. I’m struggling with self harm when I get overwhelmed. When it happens I don’t feel anything, it doesn’t hurt and I regret it after. Usually I go to the gym to help me deal with stress so I don’t boil over but with my husband being a shift worker and him prioritising his hobbies over mine I don’t get to the gym anywhere near as much as I’d like, also my daughter has been on/off sick for the last month so I can’t take her to the crèche at the gym like I normally do. My husband seems to get annoyed when I’m looking good making comments that why isn’t he loosing weight. I’m exhausted emotionally and physically right now. I’ve just started a new hobby but don’t have the time for it with no one watching our daughter but me. My husband and I don’t have sex and the rare occasion that he “feels like it” is once a month if that. I’m starting to resent him and don’t feel like being around him a lot of the time because I don’t see any perks right now to being with him. I do all the house work, all my maternity leave pay goes towards our house we’re building so I don’t get to go do things like id want too. I feel like I’ve been stripped of every part of me that makes me me. I want to stop harming myself because I’m worried I’ll do permanent damage.

I'm gonna kill myself if things don't get better

replies: 4

I'm 35 now, and my life has always been pretty mediocre.It doesn't seem to matter how hard I try, something always trips me up, and I end up treading water.This coming year, 2025, I'm going to try my hardest, and if my life is still a piece of shit by 2026 I'm going to kill myself.I know that's shocking to say, maybe it even seems callous. But just try have some empathy. 35 years. For at least 20 of those the only thing that was really keeping me going was dumb optimism. How long do people expect me to hold on to hope when nothing good ever comes?

If I told my psychologist that I am suicidal, what can they do for me?

replies: 7

Hello everyone, I'm currently 21 years old and I have been dealing with depression for years now.It has progressively gotten worse over the past year to the point where I think about suicide almost daily and have made a plan as well as set a date. One day, I went to my GP to get a diagnosis where she gave me a Mental Health Treatment Plan and referred me to a psychologist. I have been debating for a few days now whether or not it is worth the psychologists time (or my money) to go see them if I know or feel positive that I may go through with my plan. My question is, what can my psychologist do for me in this regard? Will they send me to a psychiatrist where I could potentially become an inpatient? I find that I am not completely against the idea but another part of me is telling me that that will not help or stop me. Not to mention, psychiatrists are costly and I have read that they have quite length waiting times. I feel very torn.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Tired replies: 5

No one actually cares replies: 1

It hurts to much to keep going replies: 7

Thinking of ending life replies: 1

Passive suicidal ideation replies: 2

I want to do it but there’s to much to leave behind. replies: 2

I wanna die but im so selfish and lowkey scared replies: 1

Finding things hard replies: 2

I'm gonna kill myself if things don't get better replies: 4

If I told my psychologist that I am suicidal, what can they do for me? replies: 7