Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Carmen02 I'm tired, traumatised and been depressed for so long I don't know anything else.
  • replies: 2

I've been depressed since I was about 8 years old, officially diagnosed at 12 and it never went away I'm 22 now. I suffered from abuse during my childhood and grew up in an unstable and unsupportive household from both parents, won't go into too much... View more

I've been depressed since I was about 8 years old, officially diagnosed at 12 and it never went away I'm 22 now. I suffered from abuse during my childhood and grew up in an unstable and unsupportive household from both parents, won't go into too much detail as it's uncomfortable to think about. I don't know, I'm just tired of feeling numb and empty. I dissociate and feel like I live outside my body, I don't remember things that happen, days blur together. I'm trying to study nursing so I have something in the future, but studying is so impossible at the moment, especially when I can't even get out of bed or shower so I'm barely scraping by, and only getting attendance through being online in bed. I have a partner who I live with and he's wonderful, we both struggle with mental health but it displays very differently for us, so somehow it sort of gets us functioning in a weird way when we work together if that makes sense. I try really hard for him, to get better and not show how much I'm struggling because I know it really impacts his wellbeing when I'm in my lows. I love him and don't want him to be sad which is why I haven't done anything yet. I want to try and build a future with him, and be healthy with him, but everything I try doesn't seem to work. I've been to many therapists, none of which has actually helped me. I've tried medication which has actually done more harm than good for me, I've done every single mindfulness, meditation, art, music therapy, hobbies which I can't seem to find interest in anything. I've even dabbled into spirituality because I was so desperate for something, but I just can't believe in it. I feel so bad, and want him to be okay, but I'm worried I won't be able to stop myself from negative thougths; if I continue like this for much longer. sorry if this was a complete nightmare to read, my thoughts are running everywhere and I just needed to get that out somewhere.

Eli886 Out of Options
  • replies: 5

Hey just felt like I needed to get this out there somewhere. For the past 8 years I’ve been suffering with anxiety and depression and the only thing I can think about is killing myself. I know that my mental illness is not my fault as it runs in my f... View more

Hey just felt like I needed to get this out there somewhere. For the past 8 years I’ve been suffering with anxiety and depression and the only thing I can think about is killing myself. I know that my mental illness is not my fault as it runs in my family but this does not make me feel any better. I have tried so hard to rid myself of these feeling yet no matter how hard I try nothing works. I’ve been to counselling which didn’t help, I’ve change jobs, tried making new friends, doing exercise pretty much any sort of help that is recommended yet nothing seems to change. I am so tired and have lost any and all hope that I will get better. I’ve isolated myself from my family and friends as I am tired of putting up a front and do not enjoy doing anything anymore. I am so lost and feel as if I am out of options. The only choices I see left are to either keep living feeling like this or to end my life. I know that my family care about me and would be upset if I ended my life but this does not make me feel any better, if anything it makes me feel worse knowing that I have to suffer for the sake of other people’s wellbeing.

Scrabbling Battling
  • replies: 2

Things are overwhelming me quickly I've started self harming but it's not enough my agitation is increasing and I'm losing control on reality I don't want to be here anymore I'm just going in circles with no way off.Im not sleeping and am digging mys... View more

Things are overwhelming me quickly I've started self harming but it's not enough my agitation is increasing and I'm losing control on reality I don't want to be here anymore I'm just going in circles with no way off.Im not sleeping and am digging myself a hole that I can't get out of. I was keeping my head above water but now I feel like I'm drowning I have a feeling things are going to get worse. It's pointless trying to talk to my psychologist and I've been through the so call mental health system which was just a joke! Bit like me really. I've taken an extra sleeping tablet tonight just to try and stop the constant bad thoughts I'm safe if I can sleep.I think things are going to come to a head soon and that scares me but also may give me the peace I'm after. Anyone similar?

sleeperagent who am i
  • replies: 4

Psychologists think DID Psychiatrists as well as my Pysch Team think PTSD I think Paranoid Psychosis In the past I was diagnosed with Autism, that's the only problem I had growing up, which is what everyone thought. I was a quiet child according to m... View more

Psychologists think DID Psychiatrists as well as my Pysch Team think PTSD I think Paranoid Psychosis In the past I was diagnosed with Autism, that's the only problem I had growing up, which is what everyone thought. I was a quiet child according to my family, anxious though too. Randomly in my life, something just went wrong. I feel guilty about my past, like I was a bad person, and just now everyone is texting each other to try and humiliate me and ruin my life. I haven't been going out for months, I only go outside to drive around now, but its only about 30 minutes a day because the sky gets crushed and gets overwhelming textures, also doesn't help when my ears start piercing with loud white noise kinda like a vhs ambience with minds controlling beeping. What am I? I need to leave this world‌, I don't care anymore about my life, I don't want to make my parents sad but I really can't be here. Eating? Forget it, the company making food is weirding me out and doing something to it, I only cook now, but I still get suspicious when I see little specks or rashes in my food. This life is so hard, I have a headache right now and its really killing all vibes I had left. This is so stupid, all of it.

One_More_Day Schizophrenia
  • replies: 2

Hi BBers, I think I may have schizophernia. It runs in the family and I have not been able to get my act together for a few years now. Can anyone recommend a GOOD physician? OMD.

Hi BBers, I think I may have schizophernia. It runs in the family and I have not been able to get my act together for a few years now. Can anyone recommend a GOOD physician? OMD.

alasdayr Intellectual existence
  • replies: 5

I have been living the treadmill for a while now. I have a nice house, a stable job, a faithful wife that cares about me and our family and an adult daughter. Following a bout of major depression, I have anhedonia (avolition, but no anergia). I have ... View more

I have been living the treadmill for a while now. I have a nice house, a stable job, a faithful wife that cares about me and our family and an adult daughter. Following a bout of major depression, I have anhedonia (avolition, but no anergia). I have energy to get things done that I see need doing. Nothing makes me feel good more than momentarily. Most pleasurable activities make me crave discomfort (or worse). My mood is generally flat and I do not feel much in the way of emotion (happy, sad, angry, jealous, etc..). I have nothing I want to achieve. I have nothing that I want to do. I have nowhere I want to go. I have no people I want to meet. Helping others does not make me feel good. Achieving things seems hollow. I have no fear of dying. I have no fear of pain (also a very high pain tolerance). About most things I truly do not care. I have an entire alphabet of mental health conditions diagnosis (ASD, CPTSD, OCD, BPD, MDD, PDD). I have had another alphabet worth of treatment (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, Schema, TMS). Some are still ongoing. I have an upbringing of care for family and self sacrifice. I take care of myself so I can do things for family so they remain comfortable. Its all done by rote. I have been taught/trained over my treatments not to self harm. I often think about it... These thoughts do not worry or disturb me. I keep busy so I don't dwell on them. My family wants and needs me. I have been in constant mental health care over the past 4 years. I have been in hospital numerous times. I have been on (and am now off) antidepressants. I regularly see psychologists and a psychiatrist. I will ask my psychiatrist for another round of TMS next time we meet. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have more than a lot of people. I am in good physical health. I seem to avoid misfortune. I don't feel worthy of my good fortune. Is this as good as it gets?

__Emily How to cope following an attempt?
  • replies: 7

I attempted suicide last week, and am okay physically now after a hospital stay, but now i dont know what to do. My partner of 9 years has been very distressed by the attempt and is unsure if he wants to continue our relationship. I don't know how to... View more

I attempted suicide last week, and am okay physically now after a hospital stay, but now i dont know what to do. My partner of 9 years has been very distressed by the attempt and is unsure if he wants to continue our relationship. I don't know how to cope with him leaving me when it feels like i need him and the stability of our relationship more than ever right now.

Bbydoll I hate this time of year & everything about my life
  • replies: 251

I'm suffering from chronic pain issues; auto immune related issues and a body that is basically falling apart. I have no family around except for a brother (and sister in law,and niece), who would rather spend time with their friends - even though I ... View more

I'm suffering from chronic pain issues; auto immune related issues and a body that is basically falling apart. I have no family around except for a brother (and sister in law,and niece), who would rather spend time with their friends - even though I pushed myself to be there for their daughters birthday. My teeth are rotting because of pain meds and I have no way of paying for them to be fixed.. some are now are in my smile line and the idea of loosing teeth there destroys me. My extended family wanted me to join them on Christmas day except for the fact it would be just breakfast as they want to visit their significant others family (not to mention it's a 4 hour round trip for me on public transport on a public holiday), and I can barely function as I'm suffering from tinnitus and vertigo at the moment on top of my usual health issues. I'm struggling to get through to the rest of the year. I've been reaching out via text message to my closest friend - but he's been avoiding me. My other friend just doesn't believe how bad my mental state is; despite having her own issues with depression and suicide. Every year is another year where nothing is achieved and my "bucket list" is further away from ever happening. Even on the rare occasions I'm out socializing; people avoid me. I seem to just repel people. Having had years and years of people leaving me, it's not like I haven't tried - organizing parties at my place; inviting friends out for a girls night out etc... no one ever bothers returning the favor. No one checks up on me. My online friends only respond to me messaging them - and even that's not a guarantee of a reply. I'm tired of struggling with no support. I'm not living, I'm barely surviving. .. it's like I'm not even here. And I'm sure it wouldn't matter if I wasn't because people in my life just don't seem to care! And it's not like I have anything keeping me here - no partner, no kids, no pets. . Nothing at all.

neveralonebutlonely There is no room in my life for me anymore
  • replies: 4

I am a wife, mum of two (2+4), and I work 2 jobs. I struggled a lot with becoming a mum. I'm certainly not a naturally maternal person. I am independent, I love learning, I'm smart (probably the only thing about myself I am confident in), and I like ... View more

I am a wife, mum of two (2+4), and I work 2 jobs. I struggled a lot with becoming a mum. I'm certainly not a naturally maternal person. I am independent, I love learning, I'm smart (probably the only thing about myself I am confident in), and I like to achieve goals... So when my days were reduced to changing nappies and getting small people to sleep ... I was not in a good way. I felt like my whole identity got ripped away. Anyway, as soon as I fell pregnant with the first, my husband totally lost interest in me sexually. That hasn't changed. I could count on one hand how many times we've been intimate in the last 6-12 months. He struggles with what I am 99% sure is ADHD. He is very carefree (to the point of not noticing massive dangers sometimes) and I am quite risk averse... Which obviously causes some tension in regards to the kids. Prior to kids it was never really an issue - because his decisions didn't really impact anyone else... But now they impact the kids, and I won't not advocate for what I think is best for the kids... So tension often follows - as does the trope around me being "irrational" "impossible" "crazy" "insane" etc etc. Don't get me wrong, we have fun times too. And I love my husband... But having kids has made things impossible. It's gotten to the point where if I raise ANYTHING that he disagrees with he will start the "I can never do anything right" script. I inevitably have to become the fun police (a role I hate being forced to play), and he reiterates how "exhausting" my "negative energy" is. I have had these kids, and I don't like mothering. I'm not good at mothering. They've wrecked our marriage. They destroyed my body so no one else will love me. I can't leave, because I can't bear the thought of someone else raising them... So I'm just stuck. I'm stuck living this hollow life where I can't even advocate for my kids and do the best I can as a mother (which is already not great). I just feel totally trapped. I feel like I'm shouldering the responsibility on my own.I feel like the only way out of it all is to leave permanently. I don't want this anymore I don't want to be here anymore.