Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

chaoswalking Addiction
  • replies: 2

I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on how they have dealt with addictions. I’m a smoker and drinker. I find it very hard to avoid both. I know smoking is bad but feel it helps me calm. The drinking is worse in my cause I use it to become numb t... View more

I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on how they have dealt with addictions. I’m a smoker and drinker. I find it very hard to avoid both. I know smoking is bad but feel it helps me calm. The drinking is worse in my cause I use it to become numb to feelings and numb myself when overwhelmed but I usually just spiral out of control when I drink and become more depressed and suicidal then I already am. any tips would be appreciated. I am safe look forward to hearing some input.

Guest_1055 Re: Vent and then let it go...
  • replies: 150

I can't do this stupid life anymore. I just need to write this out. Because sometimes it has helped me on the past. Just to shout it out on words. I HATE THIS.. LIFE. The pain keeps happening over and over again. I cannot deal with it. Tears are in m... View more

I can't do this stupid life anymore. I just need to write this out. Because sometimes it has helped me on the past. Just to shout it out on words. I HATE THIS.. LIFE. The pain keeps happening over and over again. I cannot deal with it. Tears are in my eyes, frustration, aloneness, maybe bitterness, I hate that emotion. Just go in the name of Jesus. I forgive him. It hurts, please heal me. Where does my help come from. The maker of heaven and earth. I hurt Father God. I hurt.

Hopegone Loneliness and lossing
  • replies: 1

Recently I have separated with my wife of 17 years, she kicked me out of our house and in 3 weeks I've only been able to see the kids for 1 hr. By the way I have severe depression. I can't keep friends because of my self-esteem and negativity so no f... View more

Recently I have separated with my wife of 17 years, she kicked me out of our house and in 3 weeks I've only been able to see the kids for 1 hr. By the way I have severe depression. I can't keep friends because of my self-esteem and negativity so no friends. My mum also has depression and we are not super close but I have to stay at her house because I couldn’t sleep in the car any longer. I sit alone in my car or spend hours kicking the soccer ball at the local pitch because I'm making my mum really depressed (unintentionally) if I spend to much time with her and the only other family member I have communication with is my sister who lives pretty far away and only recently started to form a relationship but we are total opposites and can't talk to her about these kind of things. Anyway every night when I get back from work I have to find somewhere to go and avoid being seen by my wife and her parents or they get angry and the parents never liked my anyway. I still love my wife and miss the kids so much. I am really struggling with the loneliness and my wife has told me a couple of times after we planned when I could see the kids that for whatever reason the kids can't make it. So the only thing I have to look forward to keeps getting taken away and because of my depression and anxiety I think she is lying and I make things worse. Currently on meds and seeing a psychologist, new to both, and I know they take time to help with my issues but I am really struggling to think of anything to give me some kind of hope in the short term and just have over bearing thoughts of self pity and loneliness with out hope. I'm having some thoughts about how I could end it all with out pain and suffering and no chance to get it wrong. I'm pretty sure I won't act upon these thoughts but the way I am and the way things are going I'm not so sure I'll feel the same if I keep feeling this way and I can get stop feeling so alone. I do social soccer once a week and it helps for 1hr then more loneliness for the rest of the week. There's more to my negative life but this is my main issue right now. Any advice or some thoughts of how I can overcome this loneliness and give me some kind of hope might be life saving. If anyone reads this and reponds thanks, I may not want to accept anyone's reply but just doing so helps to easy the pain and know someone cares somewhere.

goldilocks TW: Living with Delusional Disorder - Schizophrenia.
  • replies: 1

I am 26 years of age. I was diagnosed with Delusional Disorder - Schizophrenia at age 22.5. Mentally, I am on the decline. I have noticed that I am not longer as intelligent and as capable of the things that I previously was capable of doing, such as... View more

I am 26 years of age. I was diagnosed with Delusional Disorder - Schizophrenia at age 22.5. Mentally, I am on the decline. I have noticed that I am not longer as intelligent and as capable of the things that I previously was capable of doing, such as assignments for adult school. It has always been a dream of mine to get my certificate of education, but that dream is slowly slipping out of my hands. I was bullied relentlessly in mainstream high school over my physical appearance, and it got to the point where I had no choice but to quit mainstream school altogether. The teachers and leadership did completely and utterly nothing about the bullying that I copped from Year 8 to Year 12. I was an A and B student who used to be very studious. I was the 'perfect student,' as so a few teachers had labelled me as. I couldn't do it all anymore - I felt too much pressure to be perfect all the time, and being hard on myself never helped either. I slowly became a D, E and NA student. Going back to adult school, I started off pretty well. I went back up to being an A student again. Then, I met a completely and utterly awful individual who led me on romantically. He had an ex-wife on the side who dictated who he could and couldn't date, let alone speak to. Quite frankly, I believe this man was in a DV relationship with this woman, and I felt that he was too scared to expose her. He told me bluntly that, 'whatever medication that I had been taking clearly wasn't working,' 'I had more issues than previously thought,' 'you're not very clever,' and he then curled his hands into fists and screamed the word, 'RETARD' in my face. I could be wrong, but I feel that he was being coached into saying these things. I wanted to cry, because I used to be very attracted to the man. Well, not anymore. Someone else has come along and I am not even going to bother with this man because I will reject him if he dare comes up to me and asks me out on a date. Why should a delusional, nutcase, schizophrenic with no future ahead of her go out on a date with a good looking man with a good career? Exactly. Going back to my health, I am now having problems with my breathing. I have done some research on this, and COPD is a symptom of Schizophrenia. I cannot breathe at full capacity anymore. I also always feel dizzy and sleepy. The Centrelink worker wants me to test my eligibility for the Disability Support Pension, as I am mentally unfit to work. Why can't I be normal? And don't tell me that there is no such thing as normal, because there is.

SavionXD Parents.
  • replies: 1

Does anyone else's mum get over agitated really easily for the slightest things and then treats me like the best thing in the world?..My mum and my dad don't live together, I live with my mum and my dad lives in a apartment a while away from my house... View more

Does anyone else's mum get over agitated really easily for the slightest things and then treats me like the best thing in the world?..My mum and my dad don't live together, I live with my mum and my dad lives in a apartment a while away from my house.He works a job and my mum doesn'tHe also pays for his and our houses rent.Sometimes he picks me up from school and takes me to my house [my mums]She usually is very pissed off when I get homeSo that's when my dad tries to act like the better person.I don't trust him, in his past he's been rather.. weird, with kids.Especially his friend too I usually have to nurse my mum because she has a defibrillator and many issues with her heart which takes her to hospital alot..It's tiring.She wants me to speak more but I can't, she wants me to go to school but I can't breathe there.She makes me feel like a horrible person for not doing things I don't want to.I know she tries really hard but she's mentally killing me to the point I have no personality in real life anymore,If she dies ill have nowhere to stay.Court is getting involved for my absence at school, I hate it so muchI only have a friend but I'm their backup.I hate this lol

Deputy-coroner Dark. Thoughts
  • replies: 28

Hello in a dark place with dark thoughts had cat team on Saturday they’re not understanding I’m in a dark place very much appreciate your help and support thankyou in advance cheers deputy coroner

Hello in a dark place with dark thoughts had cat team on Saturday they’re not understanding I’m in a dark place very much appreciate your help and support thankyou in advance cheers deputy coroner

Eagle Ray Suicidality and perimenopause
  • replies: 124

Has anyone else experienced severe suicidality in relation to perimenopause? Did anything particular help? There is apparently a strong association for some women. I had a major drop in oestrogen a year ago resulting in severe anxiety/depression/suic... View more

Has anyone else experienced severe suicidality in relation to perimenopause? Did anything particular help? There is apparently a strong association for some women. I had a major drop in oestrogen a year ago resulting in severe anxiety/depression/suicidal ideation then. It’s re-occurring now. I have complicating factors of c-ptsd and complicated grief. Saturday was the anniversary of my mother’s sudden and distressing death. I was extremely bad on Friday and early Saturday. I’ve been calling helplines and had some practical help. It helps regulate me for a few hours then I start to disintegrate again. It’s a feeling of totally failing apart. I do have a psych appointment on Thursday and I’ve booked a counselling appointment with the Australian menopause society as well. HRT may help but I have to look at how it will interact with my liver disease which can be a complicating factor. It’s a rare disease and not well understood or even known about by most medical practitioners. I just feel totally overwhelmed.

stell_a178 My sister told me to die
  • replies: 3

I just recently moved back into my mums house because I couldn’t afford to continue renting while at uni. I had to move back into the room that my sister was staying in, because she said she wanted to move rooms anyway. My plan was to move all my stu... View more

I just recently moved back into my mums house because I couldn’t afford to continue renting while at uni. I had to move back into the room that my sister was staying in, because she said she wanted to move rooms anyway. My plan was to move all my stuff before uni started so I wasn’t trying to do two things at once. I had given my sister over a week to find a new bed and get it delivered or I would pick it up for her. She continued to complain about every single bed I put forward. So I ended up moving her stuff into the front room and shifted my stuff into my room. This obviously really frustrated her, because now she was without a bed. But take into consideration that I (countless times) offered up solutions and she turned every single one down. So after being at my mums for around 2 days, I was cleaning up after dinner and my sister yelled at me, “I hope you get off your meds (antidepressants) and kill yourself”. This was because I put one of her cups into the dishwasher without asking her first. I didn’t really confront her about what she said, I just let her sit in the silence after she said it. I found this horrifying, because out of all the people to say something like this to me, she would be the last person I expected. She, herself, has had issues with suicidal ideation and actually tried to commit while in high school. So this comment from her really shook me to my core. i still haven’t confronted her about what she said, because i truthfully have no idea how to react. I am really upset, and this comment has made me feel unloved and unappreciated in my own home. Has anyone experienced this? Or does anyone have advice? stella

SNWner Over Tired in my thoughts…
  • replies: 2

My head is so sore. How do you turn bad thoughts into good ones? Is it ever going to be possible to not think about sh? I’ve only ever been able to stop myself a few times but it just plays in my mind on my darkest days.

My head is so sore. How do you turn bad thoughts into good ones? Is it ever going to be possible to not think about sh? I’ve only ever been able to stop myself a few times but it just plays in my mind on my darkest days.