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BeyondBlue Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section
  • replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a ... View more

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

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Guest_70873208 mental health
  • replies: 2

Hi, i have a history of self harming and never speaking up or speaking to anyone when i'm feeling low or once i've hurt myself after every time i self harm i shut down and go quiet and dont tell or talk to anyone about it because i'm so scared people... View more

Hi, i have a history of self harming and never speaking up or speaking to anyone when i'm feeling low or once i've hurt myself after every time i self harm i shut down and go quiet and dont tell or talk to anyone about it because i'm so scared people are expecting me to not do this again and i know hurting myself isnt good but its the relief that feels good

Guest_57317180 32 M ugly, never dated, given up on life
  • replies: 4

32 male and honestly I think I’ve pretty much given up on life and dating. Don’t really know what I’m expecting from posting this, probably just need to get it out somewhere.I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to improve myself. Gym, improving my... View more

32 male and honestly I think I’ve pretty much given up on life and dating. Don’t really know what I’m expecting from posting this, probably just need to get it out somewhere.I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to improve myself. Gym, improving my looks, clothes, therapy, personality, confidence, trying to make friends, getting comfortable being alone. I’ve genuinely tried.The biggest problem has always been my looks. I’ve been told I’m ugly by other people, not just something I’ve decided about myself. I have close set eyes, a large nose and a slightly recessed jaw. The eyes are probably the biggest issue. I’ve had people ask why they’re so close together, make jokes about them or point them out. After hearing that enough times, you obviously start noticing it yourself.I’ve even tried growing my hair long to hide some of the discrepancies in my face, but honestly it just makes me look worse. I’ve tried different hairstyles, facial hair, clothes and whatever else I can think of.I eventually had jaw surgery with implants which made me look better, but the eyes are still there. I’ve looked into what else could be done, but anything that might change them would be extremely invasive and understandably no surgeon wants to do it. Instead I’ve been told I have BDD and should get therapy.Maybe I do. I honestly don’t know anymore. Therapy has helped me cope, but it doesn’t change how other people see me. If the problem is partly that people don’t find me attractive, changing my perception doesn’t change their reaction.I don’t project my insecurities either. I don’t walk around telling people I’m ugly, asking for reassurance or acting entitled. I carry myself with confidence, have good values, a personality and interests, and I’ve spent years trying to become a better person.But none of that seems to matter if people aren’t attracted to you in the first place.I’m 32 and I’ve never dated. Never had a girlfriend, been on a date, kissed anyone, held hands or had sex. Nothing. I’ve also been trying to make friends for years and haven’t had much success there either.Two years ago I told myself that if I hadn’t had my first date before 30, I’d stop trying. Around that time I was severely depressed and attempted suicide. I ended up in hospital and then spent a long time in therapy.I’ve heard all the usual advice: work on yourself, don’t base your worth on dating, learn to be happy alone, challenge your thoughts, keep putting yourself out there. I’ve done a lot of it. The frustrating part is watching people who don’t seem to put much effort into any of this still have relationships, friends and normal social lives while I’m still in the same position.I’ve spoken to my therapist about where I’m at now and I’m thinking about attempting suicide again. I already know the conversation because I’ve heard it before. More coping strategies, more therapy, more trying to change how I think about myself. Sometimes it feels like I’m being taught how to tolerate a life I don’t actually want.Maybe I’m completely wrong about my looks. Maybe BDD has distorted my perception. I genuinely don’t know anymore. But it’s difficult to believe it’s all in my head when I’ve had people comment on my face and eyes throughout my life.I’m not saying women owe me anything. I just don’t know where I go from here. I’m exhausted from trying to change myself for years and getting nowhere.I’m not looking for someone to tell me I’m secretly handsome or that looks don’t matter. I’d rather hear from people who have genuinely been in a similar position and somehow managed to get out of it.

Guest_56153583 Audhd losing the will to continue
  • replies: 2

I am really struggling. Late diagnosed female, got the diagnosis of autism and adhd at 34. I’m 37 this year and I feel so hopeless. I do know how to be a person. I’ve just attended a birthday party with my daughter and I could not interact with anyon... View more

I am really struggling. Late diagnosed female, got the diagnosis of autism and adhd at 34. I’m 37 this year and I feel so hopeless. I do know how to be a person. I’ve just attended a birthday party with my daughter and I could not interact with anyone. I’m so awkward and strange and my brain is spinning a million miles an hour and so nothing actually comes out of my mouth. I don’t think I can be this person anymore but I don’t get that option. I don’t know why I’m here. im lost and lonely and I have no one I can talk to or help make sense of my spinning thoughts.

Velvet0w0 Lately TW: suicide/ self harm
  • replies: 1

So lately I’ve been having the feeling of killing myself, I’m 19 and have been having a hard time at home like getting into arguments over small little things and I’m over it and trying to get out but don’t know how to tell my mother that i want to m... View more

So lately I’ve been having the feeling of killing myself, I’m 19 and have been having a hard time at home like getting into arguments over small little things and I’m over it and trying to get out but don’t know how to tell my mother that i want to move out and live with my boyfriend and his family for now, until w egret a place ourselves and when i move up there planning on getting a job up there, as where i live there’s 2 parts to the town so it’s hard to see him everyday because we live in 2 different parts in town he live son one side of the town and i live on the other, but I’ve been having the feeling that everyone would be better off without me, these feelings went away ages ago because they for some reasons come up every now and again, like this has been happening since i was in year 7 since my friendship broke apart in year 7 and had to make new friends, but just trying to get though one day at a time lately, but this weekend being at my boyfriends has helped a lot tbh, but I’ll get there i guess, but been talking to friends about it there sorta helping but it’s not really helping tbh, because sometimes i can talk to no one about this because they don’t live near me at all some live out of town and some live on a farm that are sorta in town but not at the same time. Velvet0

Ts_1962 Still obsessing over dog
  • replies: 3

I sent a photo of the dog in question to my friend who thinks the dog looks fine. I can't discuss this with the owner as she is very unfriendly. I noticed the dogsnails are very long, so I text her nicely offering toys etc and a nail clipper, she has... View more

I sent a photo of the dog in question to my friend who thinks the dog looks fine. I can't discuss this with the owner as she is very unfriendly. I noticed the dogsnails are very long, so I text her nicely offering toys etc and a nail clipper, she hasn't responded. Thing is, it's all getting too much sometimes. I know there are other dogs who are worse treated. I've complained many times to the Animal Welfare Branch but they assure me that as long as the dog has shelter, is not tethered,food and water it's not against the law. I asked if they physically checked, but they do a drive by and tell me how they know for sure the dog is ok. I can only check over the fence when the owners are out. It eats me up so much that I've lost my appetite, can't get into watching any shows on TV I used to love. Nobody can help

Bel1825 feeling lost and confused.
  • replies: 3

I relapsed in self harm for the first time in 5 years (Since 2021) im so surrounded by people who love me and im just so confused, mostly by my own emotions. i need some advice for feeling so lost. im so dissapointed that i relapsed, and i am going t... View more

I relapsed in self harm for the first time in 5 years (Since 2021) im so surrounded by people who love me and im just so confused, mostly by my own emotions. i need some advice for feeling so lost. im so dissapointed that i relapsed, and i am going to try my absolute best to stay clean again, but it felt like after i relapsed everything went quiet for a few minutes. like proper true silence, mentally and physically. Im not having suicidal tendencies, before people ask, ive just gone back to something i used to know.

venlavoices Anyone also triggered watching Lindsey Clancy trial?
  • replies: 2

As both a young MH practitioner and patient myself it sucks being dismissed as a female. It sucks being seen as ‘emotional’ or ‘attention seeking’. It sucks having my concerns taken lightly till they escalate to the point of no return. And then when ... View more

As both a young MH practitioner and patient myself it sucks being dismissed as a female. It sucks being seen as ‘emotional’ or ‘attention seeking’. It sucks having my concerns taken lightly till they escalate to the point of no return. And then when I end up in a bad state, having done harm to myself, they always blame me “why didn’t you tell us earlier?” I saw how Lindsey was struggling and kept trying to reach out to her practitioners through multiple texts, calls and emails. Some time in my life, I’d been that desperate because it felt as if I was at the top of a rollercoaster, knowing I’ll plunge into the depths soon, but not knowing exactly when. I was crying while watching the doctors smirking on the stand. They see us for less than an hour and we’re “just another patient”. Just another case file. Just another medical record. I wish the system could be better but I’m just a small fry. It is outside of my control. All I can do is feedback or complain about it. just wanted a space to rant. Feel free to add on.

white knight Men and crying- a long way to go
  • replies: 0

Like many AFL fans I've been taking notice of the Sydney Swans latest story of late night activities (that break club rules) and mistreatment of women that is being investigated by police. But its what occurred after the Swans won their game on the w... View more

Like many AFL fans I've been taking notice of the Sydney Swans latest story of late night activities (that break club rules) and mistreatment of women that is being investigated by police. But its what occurred after the Swans won their game on the weekend that worries me. The team had 5 top players not playing, those involved a week earlier. The club had been rocked, the players stressed knowing their finals campaign was at risk. Two players were emotional, opening crying. Players and coaching staff consoled them. On social media the team got solid support. However, sad it was to read the rather old fashioned view "stop sooking"...."act like a man"... joins the women's league". Its disgusting. I replied to a few, the usual about suicide numbers compared to the road toll, the we should encourage open emotions by males and females. I think we have a long way to go. So I encourage men to cry if you want to cry and at the same time ignore the types I've described for they are a poor example of real men, men with old expectations that have been misled. Change will take time. TonyWK

Cheesecakeable Looking for someone who can help or relate.
  • replies: 3

For around longer than a year now, I have been self-harming. I haven't told my family, and only a few close friends know about this. A few months back, my best friend was trying to help me feel better, and it was working. I was doing it less and less... View more

For around longer than a year now, I have been self-harming. I haven't told my family, and only a few close friends know about this. A few months back, my best friend was trying to help me feel better, and it was working. I was doing it less and less, my self-esteem was improving, and I felt happier. Recently, the thoughts have been coming back, and for some reason, even though I promised I would tell them when I self-harmed or had those thoughts, I can't bring myself to let her know. In fact, the thought of talking to people leaves me feeling drained. It's no help that I force myself to get out of bed in the mornings to go to school, which I hate. I feel like I'm back where I was last year, in a place where I wanted nothing to do with the world, yet the world wanted everything to do with me. I don't really know what is wrong with me. Some days I wonder if I'm just being dramatic or seeking attention, but the times where I feel emotionally exhausted are moments where I realise that I'm stuck in a dark place while time keeps ticking away. I know I'm just fifteen and barely understand anything about the real world yet, but seeing how things are going now with my life, I don't think I want to know. I apologise if I wasted your time by reading this, but I think I need someone to help me find that happiness again, or to at least understand how I'm feeling.

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