Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Good news!

replies: 2

Hello! I just want to share good news. I have been self-harming for about 10 months now. I am happy to say that i am about to be 11 days clean from self harm! Just happy about this, and wanted some people to know that there is hope. You dont have to ... View more

I want to disappear or die

replies: 2

Hey im 21 I’ve recently left my girlfriend of 3 near 4 years because I felt like everything she was doing was too much for me and I couldn’t handle it I really hurt her and what not but anyway. i’m not afraid of dying I’ll look death in the face and laugh, I want to disappear or die or maybe just drive away with no destination i dont know why I feel like this me and my ex are talking again we’re living back together and i’m happy about that but i just dont know what to do i feel like i need to disappear and leave her alone i dont know what to do i broke down a couple nights ago and was going to end everything i told her i love her and i gave her a kiss and a hug and she stopped me from leaving i broke down crying, sorry if none of this makes sense or if its just a mess of worlds

Problems with anger and rage

replies: 1

Before i start off i would just like to mention that i am safe and my safe plan is listening to music or distracting myself with youtube. i also have a strong circle of close friends that i confide in, i trust them very much. i’ve noticed whenever i am extremely angry i tend to harm myself. i would also like to mention that i am not always angry like this. to put context behind this, whenever i have annoyances and irritations with my mum (and it always happens with my mum) i’m left alone in my room, extremely angry that she can’t agree with me on something. i figured that the reason im so in rage after having slight annoyances with my mum is due to feeling like i’m not in control, or that i’m not being heard out. i’m the youngest so i’m pretty used to not being listened to, but this is also my problem. i’m not getting given a chance to reason and i find myself having really bad rage. this leads to me harming myself. when i’m in rage like this i cry, and i don’t know why i self harm myself like this when im extremely angry. i thought maybe it’s because of my need to hit something but i don’t want to damage anything in the house. this also only every happens when i’m arguing with my mum, she’s been a very difficult person, she also has history of mental health issues. i know now that the only thing that puts me in a bad rage is my mum, but i’m struggling to figure out why i hit myself when angry and why i get so enraged over slight annoyances with her. Thank you

Loneliness, PTSD & Suicidal Ideation

replies: 1

Hi, 2 weeks ago I had another phase of suicidal ideation. I'm not new to this, I've had attempts in the past, I've had 2 long psychosis episodes since 2020 with lots of hospital admissions. My psychosis/addiction even took me to prison. I battle with PTSD symptoms now, struggle to work, very low stress tolerance, flashbacks, depression, anxiety, etc. Thankfully I have my sanity back and didn't get stuck permanently in a false reality. My diagnosis is drug induced Schizoaffective disorder & PTSD. I used to be very involved in the community, socialised a lot, and helped my then wife to raise our kids. I was a great father. That was until my mental health took a rapid turn for the worst and I self medicated. Life 2 years on from my last episode is vastly different. Completely isolated and lonely. All the people I thought were friends disappeared. So now I struggle with connections. I don't have much faith in people, especially in a society that still stigmatises mental illness. So what do I do? I isolate. Over the years I've had help from professionals to focus on my interests and to help make connections in the community, but it triggers me and I battle with anxiety. I see people in the community I used to be friends with, they ignore me or I ignore them. I want nothing to do with them. I don't have a sense of purpose in life anymore for myself other than my kids. I focus a lot on my kids when I struggle with suicidal ideation, but when I'm really struggling I feel my kids will be better off without me. So, with social isolation/loneliness as well as living with mental illness, where does one fit into society again? My life for the past 5 years has been all about heavy mental illness stuff so I struggle with small talk. I've been abandoned by a lot of people due to my mental health, yet now that I'm level headed again how do I start the process of reintegration back into society, especially a small town community I was once a part of when half of me doesn't want to, given the past? If anyone has been lonely or has ideas/experience with finding purpose again, I'm all ears. At the end of the day I want to be here for my kids, I want to be the best father I can forthem.

Self Injury Revisited

replies: 2

Hi all. First let me start by saying I am okay. I have been putting off writing about this for weeks. The two main reasons are 1) I don't have any questions or seek advice. This makes it feel more like dumping my problems on someone than proactively engaging in conversation. That is not really my personality and makes me feel selfish. 2) I feel a lot of shame. After a lot of back-and-forth in my head, I decided to write about my recent experience. Despite my reservations, I think it's important to let go and not to hold my emotions in. Ideally this should happen with a councillor, but I can't wait until find a new councillor. I have a long history of untreated SI until five years ago. By some miracle I got it under control and have been free of hurting myself since. A month ago I was overwhelmed with emotion. My usual maladaptive tricks to manage my headspace failed to help. I felt the weight of all that heavy emotion I carried, lift away. I also felt SHAME. For the next week it felt like my emotional burdens were turned down. I had a clear head again. Of course this is a temporary fix, and a TERRIBLE way to make me feel better. A week later I shocked myself did it again. That set off alarm bells. I haven't done it since I recognised the warning signs. It speaks a lot to my mindset at the time. I am better now. But I have to find a better way to deal with these emotions that overwhelm me. I can acknowledge this is risky behaviour, that it's not a good coping mechanism, and that I need to work on it before I fall into the SI spiral again. I'm open to any advice, suggestions, coping strategies, etc. If you have read this far, thank you for taking the time to listen to me complain. It does feel better to let me express myself. Thank you.

Confusing thoughts. (Delete if need be)

replies: 1

I'll make this part clear; I have not been having suicidal thoughts. In my mind I have never had thoughts about committing suicide. I've posted once or twice on different forums for help I guess I don't need since I can overreact. The question I need to ask however relates to a rephrasing of the term that I can't help but feel make people feel as if they're simply stuck when processing thoughts including myself... especially myself. Maybe it's too cryptic but the idea is this: Is your life worth living? Yes. I can't stress that through the day tomorrow and the day after that will bring you some peace. Your personal experience has value, meaning and purpose. I won't comment on this further since I have expressed that I have never felt suicidal feelings. The professionals on this site will put it in so many better words. I say it because it serves as a pre-context to what I find confusing and strange. Is living worth your life? Within this context, living relates to the broader context in which we as humans operate. Living feels inherently societal, communal, extrinsic - whereas life feels personal and intrinsic. It's confusing to me because when I ask myself "is any living worth my life" I say no. I want to explore, try new things, I don't believe that most if any path is worth the effort that people place into them. People should feel comfortable to change jobs when they want, meet new people (whether selfish or selfless) for support when they need that sort of support. In rain and shine, people find that they need different things at different times. But life rarely feels that open. It feels more siloed, walled off - not mutually inclusive but exclusive. And that frustrates me. As I said, maybe this is the wrong train of thought, or maybe this is an inappropriate forum to post this (Delete this if need be). Maybe I'm asking too much from the world - but I can't imagine how much my children, grandchildren and their children will be asked for from the world and then feel that where I am now and what I'm doing will be okay for them.

Not special

replies: 2

It's a pretty common story, nothing special about me and everyone I have ever come in contact with feels the same way. Childhood wasn't great but certainly could have been worse but I've never had a kind or encouraging word from anyone my whole life so wouldn't have a clue what a compliment feels like. Blah so dramatic yuck!! I'm 43 now and cannot stand myself physically or mentally and the worse thing is that I know I don't have it as bad as some so suck it up princess, right, but it's not that simple, it would be better for people in my world if I 'went away' certainly would be better for me but there are some people who would be 'disadvantaged' so I stick around, you know. This sucks, I wish just one person could look me in the eye and tell I was worth something, wasn't ugly wasn't fat, had intelligence....you know as part of my work I give guidance and encouragement to others and I see the smiles on their faces, I know how important is especially when you've never had it

Hello I'm brand new not sure I'm in the correct forum

replies: 2

I have reluctantly been burying my demons for far too long. I suffer from extreme PTSD and Anxiety plus some terminal illnesses and to top it off I woke up approximately 18mths ago paralysed from the waist down (I was ok when I went to bed) I have been learning the basics of walking again. I have not been outside in 14mths and I haven't driven or ridden in over 2yrs. I live alone and have no quality of life, I'm estranged from my 3 adult children I haven't seen my youngest in 16yrs. I miss them terribly and I have realised that I don't know them. It has been cloak and dagger with the other 2 as I couldn't tell the other I was seeing them because if their mother found out she would throw them out. I have given up and stopped taking my medication about 4mths ago, i go to bed hoping that I won't wake up. I have no quality of life and no dignity left as I don't have control of my bowel or bladder. I honestly don't know what else to do. I realise that there isn't a magic pill that solves everything and I don't know if I've left it too late. I would greatly appreciate any feedback. I was in law enforcement and a volunteer fire fighter so I've had to deal with and see things that no person should ever see.

Passive suicidal behaviour

replies: 11

When you dont want your family to know the truth about how you feel or you just want to ensure your family are provided for then passive suicide is what you move into . To increase the risk of harm so that it was an accident is the explanation given.Are passive suicidal thoughts worse than active suicidal thoughts? Because they are so well hidden and masked they are unseen and passed over . When life just is too much ? Thoughts ?

What do I do?

replies: 3

I’ve got panic disorder, ADHD and depression. I have been doing mindfulness, breathing, therapy, changed my antidepressants, going to see my psychiatrist next week for a medication review for the ADHD meds I stopped after having a panic attack that took me to hospital. I’m privileged to be able to do all these things, but I still feel the world will be better without me and I crave to not be here…. i just don’t know where to go from here. I am exhausted and don’t feel like I can fight this anymore.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Good news! replies: 2

I want to disappear or die replies: 2

Problems with anger and rage replies: 1

Loneliness, PTSD & Suicidal Ideation replies: 1

Self Injury Revisited replies: 2

Confusing thoughts. (Delete if need be) replies: 1

Not special replies: 2

Hello I'm brand new not sure I'm in the correct forum replies: 2

Passive suicidal behaviour replies: 11

What do I do? replies: 3