Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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its getting more difficult

replies: 2

Hi, never thought that I would next to post something in beyond blue or something similar but I think after almost 2 decades I’m at my breaking point finally. Im a male, grew up with the mantra that “boys don’t cry”, growing up I was bullied relentlessly, the type that never had friends not being able to talk to anyone about it, as the school would put the blame on me (yes the school put the blame on me) so some times the only option was self harm. During this time I became good at hiding my emotions and feelings and these days I have mastered it. When I left school something came out about a teacher. (Took me years to realise that I was in fact being groomed) as you can imagine depression and more self harm ensued. Fast forward a few years, scars heal and slowly feel better. A relationship opened my eyes up, that I don’t deal with emotion too well and I am truely a lonely person, even if there are other people around me. It’s like I don’t connect on the same way length as others. Rough breakup, leads to more mental issues + self harm. Move forward 6 or 7 years and things start to look better, get married and enjoy life a little bit. Join a volunteer Fire Brigade love every minute of it. Things move along nicely, but I started to keep a diary as I noticed in my self that I have high highs and the absolute lowest of lows and haven’t quit worked out if I’m bipolar or not yet. But move on to current day, I feel as though I am at my lowest possible low. I constantly feel numb, I feel out of place and I question my point of existence. I feel ignored and un-noticed and lonely, all of the time. I have days where they are really good then the emotions come crashing down and feel horribly low and it’s difficult to pick that back up. When I volunteer time to the brigade and local community, I feel great, working on a trail, I feel great. The moment I get in my car to go home that low hits hard. Im posting here because I feel ashamed to talk to anyone, I worry that if I talk a professional, I will get a label that will make me end up in some psych ward somewhere. It’s been a hot minute since I have self harmed, it’s defiantly been on my mind of late. They say that life starts in your 30’s but it feels like it’s ending. There is more I would add here but might keep it here for now .

I harmed myself for the first time in a year

replies: 3

I harmed myself for the first time in around a year today. I just got the results back for an important test that could help me get into a uni course and I did terribly. I know I’ll be rejected from the course now. It’s honestly the last straw. I’ve been rejected by every graduate program I’ve applied for. I’m so worthless and I feel like I’ve lost all my intelligence. This was my last chance to do anything with my life. I can’t stand to wait another year and try all over again. I can’t stand the idea of having to resort back to self harm as the only way of self preservation. I’m so tired. I can’t stand existing.

struggling again.

replies: 1

(I'M SAFE!) I'm just going to post a TW before getting into this, I know I'm posting this to the suicide and self-harm discussion but I just want people to have this as a trigger warning incase something I say is distressing, I never want to hurt anyone, so if this might be upsetting to you, maybe scroll past this. I'm posting this for the people who have viewed my account and seen my posts, but I'm also posting this for myself as I find it difficult to find someone I can talk to about all of this. Recently I have been really struggling with self harm and I was trying anything to stop myself from actually using something bad. But I guess the way I was trying to cope was doing more damage then good. I didn't consider what I was doing to actually be self harm but now thinking about it, it might have been. I was fine with what I was doing until I realized that it could be considered as hurting myself, instead of trying to cope. If anyone has seen my recent discussions, they would know the whole reason I stopped self harm was because I had a panic attack and told my mum about it. I didn't stop to try and get better, I stopped because I knew that if I did it again I would have to tell her, and I didn't want to break her heart again. But, I had another panic attack when I saw all the bruises and red scratches I had given myself by doing other things to myself. I told my mum and since then, I hadn't done anything. She's trying to get me as much help as she can but it's near impossible to actually get any sessions with a therapist around my area. I think the reason I'm coming on here is just to vent because I don't know what to do. I use a rubber band but it just never feels like enough. I want to know if what I was doing was actually self harm or if I can continue to use that as a coping mechanism. I still have really strong urges and I don't know how to control it anymore. I know it isn't healthy but are there any ways that I could help myself that actually would feel similar to self harm? Or is it just breathing exercises and mindfulness. Because I don't know how much longer I can cope like this. I don't know if I'm crazy and I wish I never started because I didn't realize how horrible this addiction would be. Can someone please respond with any coping mechanisms I could use, or if what I was doing was really wrong?

18year old trying to quit sh

replies: 3

Hi, I’m new here, I’d like to start by letting everyone know I’m safe. I know this is the suicide and self-harm section, but I’d still like to include a TW just in case. I’m 18years old, and started self-harming when I was young. The first time it was out of anger and self-hatred. I didn’t realise then how addictive it would be. It’s now many years later and I still get overwhelming urges daily. I have tried many alternatives in the past in attempt to quit, including other unhealthy habits, but nothing comes close as a replacement. I’m currently 5 months clean, which is the longest I’ve ever been. I guess I’m posting here as I’m struggling to not talk about something that has such a large importance in my life. It’s a difficult subject, I can’t stand the look of disappointment or concern anytime I talk about it or someone sees my scars. Their whole tone changes and it makes me feel sick. I don’t like that something like sh has such control over me, but I feel like it might be me forever. I find nothing else feels as extreme. That maybe if I am in physical danger, people may recognise how bad the emotional and mental pain really is. At first it was strong emotions that triggered it, but now it’s on my mind all the time. I see it happening in my head, I remember the way it looks and feels. I don’t know what I actually want from this forum, maybe just support from people who get it? An audience who doesn’t make me feel ‘crazy’?

I’m not sure who to talk to

replies: 2

I haven’t introduced myself but I don’t think that really matters.. I’ve been clean from self harm for 2 years now, But recently I just can’t help but think about suicide. Things are a lot better than they were family wise so that’s good… BUT I really really don’t like myself. I want to hide in a dark little room until I decay. It’s not that deep but I need someone to talk to as I know this is only going to get worst if I don’t do something.

I really need reasons not to do it...the world is so crap and getting worse

replies: 10

I'm so sick of trying hard to see the silver lining. More and more I see our economy getting worse, things are getting more expensive all while jobs are asking for you to work all week for below 50k a year. I keep trying to hold on, then I find out my sister is going through a divorce....try to hold on even more, paperwork that is important got rejected...just a tiny bit more...get a bad review at work when I have been trying my best. I'm so tired, I love the people in my life, but for once I want to be selfish, nothing is being done for us to be able to afford a living by working normal hours, nothing to see in the future as we will never afford a house...there is nothing worth it anymore. I'm not doing it now or soon but will plan it out unless I get a good enough reason not to. Been trying to get a new job but nothing for me with years of experience except in retail or childcare and I hate working with children and their parents. Plus it pays like crap....and joining the army to protect a government that is not helping the public, making the rich richer.

What is the point.

replies: 1

( im ok ) I have autism, adhd, anxiety and most likely an eating disorder and i also severely struggle with intrusive and suicidal thoughts. I have always been the funny kid in my friend group, so when I'm struggling I tend to hide it under my humour or support my friends instead of looking after myself. I have been struggling for the last 3 years and I'm currently 9 months clean after a long six months of attempts and relapses and restricing my eating. I have been silently struggling by my self this whole time with occasional help from a friend who also struggles. I have felt so good for the last 9 months only having these thoughts maybe twice a month. Until recently where these terrible thoughts are now the only thing I'm thinking about. I'm not the smartest person ever and struggle at school with learning especially while having these episodes. But teachers tend to tell me I'm not doing enough which makes me contemplate why I'm even here. With my autism and adhd it makes it makes it really hard to regulate and I regularly have meltdowns due to being overstimulated which never helps in these situations. ( I know I'm ranting but I really need to let it out )

Intellectual existence

replies: 90

I have been living the treadmill for a while now. I have a nice house, a stable job, a faithful wife that cares about me and our family and an adult daughter. Following a bout of major depression, I have anhedonia (avolition, but no anergia). I have energy to get things done that I see need doing. Nothing makes me feel good more than momentarily. Most pleasurable activities make me crave discomfort (or worse). My mood is generally flat and I do not feel much in the way of emotion (happy, sad, angry, jealous, etc..). I have nothing I want to achieve. I have nothing that I want to do. I have nowhere I want to go. I have no people I want to meet. Helping others does not make me feel good. Achieving things seems hollow. I have no fear of dying. I have no fear of pain (also a very high pain tolerance). About most things I truly do not care. I have an entire alphabet of mental health conditions diagnosis (ASD, CPTSD, OCD, BPD, MDD, PDD). I have had another alphabet worth of treatment (CBT, DBT, EMDR, ACT, Schema, TMS). Some are still ongoing. I have an upbringing of care for family and self sacrifice. I take care of myself so I can do things for family so they remain comfortable. Its all done by rote. I have been taught/trained over my treatments not to self harm. I often think about it... These thoughts do not worry or disturb me. I keep busy so I don't dwell on them. My family wants and needs me. I have been in constant mental health care over the past 4 years. I have been in hospital numerous times. I have been on (and am now off) antidepressants. I regularly see psychologists and a psychiatrist. I will ask my psychiatrist for another round of TMS next time we meet. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have more than a lot of people. I am in good physical health. I seem to avoid misfortune. I don't feel worthy of my good fortune. Is this as good as it gets?

Cactus without options

replies: 2

I’m the first to admit I’m no saint… or at least I wasn’t 10 years ago. But these days I’m forced to buy meds online, and I’m 100% aware one day it’s going to contain a potent substance and I’ll be dead and there’s nothing I can do about it. No one cares. I’m 50 because I was on a program in my 30s I can only get anti depressants they don’t do it for me and I’m fine with it. I’m actually longing for it to happen. I’ve told doctors it didn’t change a thing. No one cares.

Need support

replies: 2

Need some support and advice

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

its getting more difficult replies: 2

I harmed myself for the first time in a year replies: 3

struggling again. replies: 1

18year old trying to quit sh replies: 3

I’m not sure who to talk to replies: 2

I really need reasons not to do it...the world is so crap and getting worse replies: 10

What is the point. replies: 1

Intellectual existence replies: 90

Cactus without options replies: 2

Need support replies: 2