Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Time Makes New Wounds

replies: 5

Six years ago, I decided to kill myself. It felt like the best option at the time. Things came up though, and I decided to give myself time- I wanted to try to get better. I put in a lot of effort to salvage my mental state. I did what everyone always tells you to do- doctors, medications, mindfulness apps, exercise, journaling, trying to socialise, etc. And now I'm right back where I started. Maybe further back, actually. My efforts only did so much. Other things piled up. Family problems, chronic health issues, money and work stress. Uni panic and burnout. Life turned into a nightmare. I started getting panic attacks and accidentally hurting myself during meltdowns. It feels like I spent years unnecessarily torturing myself when I could've ended on a much higher note. Now, my current situation only shows promise for further decline. I don't want to be here for that. I don't know what to do. I'm safe right now though, just to clarify. Just hoping for some sort of guidance, I guess. I don't really know anymore.

given up

replies: 4

hey everyone. i’m writing this because i’m feeling lost again and i’m not sure what to do. in the past week i’ve cut all contact in friends because they kept pressuring me into talking to one of my old mates, Shaun. I also felt like i was constantly being used. hardest part was my best mate was like family, it was like i was apart of his family. we were very close but i just couldn’t do it anymore. before fully cutting contact, i felt like too much effort to reach out and talk to people, felt like i was just getting in the way constantly. no motivation to do anything. i’m starting to get sick of family pressuring me to work again (quit job because of mental health) and get my self together when i can barely get through a single day. i’m 16 so people will say ‘you have so much time!’ but it doesn’t feel like that. started to get suicidal again. haven’t been able to sleep due to thoughts. mind feels scrambled. tried to distract myself with my interests and nothing seems to help. i push away help all the time and i don’t understand why, every good thing i try to do i always mess it up somehow. I just want a way out, have no one to turn to that feels safe, that i can trust. even my mates i didn’t trust. even parents i can’t trust. i’m sorry for just rambling on about this crap, i have no where else to go. i’m sorry

Living with crippling anxiety and fear

replies: 1

Hi I'm new here and am trying to find a way to stop feeling so anxious, frightened and thinking not so crash hot thoughts about my life. I've suffered from severe anxiety and depression for over 5 years. My severe state of mind has been triggered by feeling so overwhelmed at home, extreme loneliness (I have no friends whatsoever locally and have trouble with social skills) and an imminent appointment with Centrelink. I keep thinking that they will throw me in prison because of a mistake I made while currently claiming Jobseeker payment. The constant thought of this grim possibility keeps me on edge all day. I stopped eating, practicing self care and have slept a total of 15 hours in the last 4 days. I reached out to Lifeline chat twice as I was feeling suicidal. They advised me to ring 000. I managed to wear myself out with so much panic that I must've fallen asleep but was jolted awake a few hours later. I made an appointment with my GP and told her about my issues and begged her to try refer me to something like PARC because I desperately need the reset. I've been in a hospital psych ward before and I came out worse for wear. I am just so fearful about Centrelink at the moment and can't cope.

Too much.

replies: 1

I feel like there's too much going on. my grades are slipping, I'm barely surviving school, my family is chaos and uptight with me. then there's my friends... there was a rumor that i talked bad about my friend of mine, I didn't and I even proved myself innocent yet she found a way to make it look like I did something bad. Funny thing is someone else told her (my other friend who hates me) and she IMMEDIATLY believed her. no doubting, no thinking if its fake. no she believed her and didn't even ask me. Just one random day i get dozen texts about how I'm a b-. Like what.. and I'm ok to let go of them since I literally can't do anything but why am I anxious? I'm fine with people hating on me since we don't go to the same school. But I'm scared for no reason, I get anxious when someone talks about them or I think about them. Its so bad that I zone out so many times and I just cry in the bathrooms. Its hard for someone like me to let go since I'm the worst overthinker you can imagine but what is going on? I genuinely don't know. Its too much and I overthink every little thing. (what if she bashes me, what is they hate me, spread rumors about me). Thing is I live in a place a lot of schools go to afterschool, and whenever I walk through I feel anxious like I'll bump into them and get laughed at. And as a cherry on top. Its exam season.

feeling doomed

replies: 3

hi im a recent high school graduate and i got into uni recently but im really not doing welli just hate uni so so so so much i was already stressed before attending but since attending i've spent every day feeling extremely miserable. i've barely felt any happiness and i spend most of my time either breaking down into tears or trying to stop myself from crying so that i can focus on catching up on the hours of work that i already missed . but being depressed only makes it worse because i can't focus which makes me even more depressed because i spend hours sitting at my desk trying to get myself to work but i just don't and i watch as the work just keeps piling up and the clock turns by i know it probably sounds silly to want to end my life over school but i feel like my back is pressed against a wall and that ill be unhappy for the rest of my life. i feel so hopeless and doomed because i can only foresee misery and unemployment and student debt in my future and i feel like i wasnt built to be alive. i feel like my 12 year old self... or even my 14 year old self was vindicated when i counted on dying before i graduated because i knew i wouldn't make it in the "real world". i feel so jealous seeing my friends enjoy their uni course or working hard doing what they've set out to do. i hate my uni course so much but i don't know what to change to because there's nothing i'm really passionate about or think that i could do in or make a decent income in and i don't want to drop out because i feel like ill be even more unemployable . but i feel so deeply miserable if it's ok, i hope someone can give some advice please sorry if this was incoherent and thank you for reading

I will never feel enough

replies: 2

it’s been a while, i have been getting better. i have had my worst days and my best days right next to each other only hours apart.. one second i am contemplating suicide and the other i feel like life is the most beautiful gift bestowed unto me. the truth is that at my core i want to be visible and seen, and seen especially for beauty, because i feel so invisible in anything else. the millimeters of my face and meticulous measurements are what drive me crazy.. but i am socialized as pretty. it’s a puzzling situation because if i were to tell you alone the things i have experienced or heard you would think, ‘yes she must be beautiful’. i have had people pause, gasp, get excited, compliment me right upon first glance. and if i tell you that, you would surely think i must be just wallowing in sorrow for no apparent reason. but truth is if i then attached an image of myself you would think, ‘no i understand now, why she feels so ugly; she truly is’. beauty may be subjective but my objective measurements are not attractive and before you say beauty is in the eye of the beholder it’s all subconscious and true. i see beauty in everyone but me and i feel as though anyone who finds beauty in me will soon see the real face i have and be repulsed. for example, a girl in a younger grade tapped me on the shoulder and told me plainly, ‘you’re pretty’. i of course said thank you and for a split second i really was flattered, until i started turning and hiding my face from her deliberately so she won’t inspect closer and realize i am actually ugly. and to make it worse my comparison is debilitating. why do i feel so inadequate? what do others see that i don’t, and on the flip side when i feel pretty where does the external validation go? it’s a game of cat and mouse at this point

I am in a hole

replies: 2

Im at that point where things seem to be okay for like two weeks and then im back to feeling like shit and it gets kinda bad. I have basically no friends which makes school suck, and i go to a selective school and the people there make it look so effortless while im struggling all the time. I hate it at home too its like sometimes they really care and most of the times they really couldnt care. And they are like adamanat i get my grades up and even though i try really hard it just doesnt work out that well. I am stuck in analysis paralysis because I'm stressing all the time about school at home and stressing about not having anyone at school, its just like whats even the point of trying anymore? I just want to feel happy again. Thank you who ever is reading this for taking the time to listen to me talk about my life

Meeting new therapist while acutely suicidal

replies: 4

Last week my therapist and I said Goodbye because she “referred me on” - aka gave up/threw me away.I adored her and I now regret not trying harder or making more progress or whatever it was I failed at…Anyway, I have NEVER felt more hurt or more broken. I have done “life” for many decades and I really, really SUCK at it. The only thing keeping me here is the impact that suicide has on people who have to deal with it - elderly parents, siblings dealing with elderly parents, and my kids.i have ZERO interest in existing for “me” and existing for others is actually painful. When I am not at work, the days crawl and I have to endure minute after minute. Alcohol “helps” but that becomes the problem. Anyway, I have an appt with a new therapist this week and I should be selling myself like a product so she’ll agree to work with me.If she rejects me, I know I CANNOT continue being alive. I actually feel physically SICK from the effort of passing time.So, do I cancel the appt or do I go there and pretend I’m keen to change and “looking forward to working with her”? If I lie, there’s a vague chance she’ll agree to see me but it would be under false pretenses. If I tell her I just want to end it and lay out the reasons, she’ll run a mile (RISK is expensive and NOT the friend of private practitioners) and my kids will have the inconvenience of organising a burial and sorting out legal stuff…I can’t reschedule. I barely got through this weekend.What do I do? The 48 hour cancellation fee policy looms…Please help.

Futility

replies: 1

I recently had my birthday. I thought that I would be gone before my birthday. I have an addiction and I don't enjoy doing it but it almost feels like an obligation or a habit. I had a friend tell me that I have the innability to communicate my opinions. I am not diagnosed with anything and I can't, it feels like nothing is real. I don't feel anything, I don't know if im hurting or just being attention seeking. I don't know what to do, my life seems pointless.

CATT team

replies: 5

Has anyone had any experience with CATT (Crisis Assessment and Treatment Teams)? I live in Tasmania and I’ve been in contact with them for a while after my psychologist contacted them. I’ve never spoken to people who are so blunt and horrible before. I’ve never experienced anything like it. The call ends and I feel worse than when they rang me. Is this something that happens a lot? I just don’t understand. To be at a point where you need the CATT team is a big thing so people need someone who is caring and compassionate - or at the very least doesn’t make you feel bad because you’re trying your best to describe and articulate something. Talking about particular things relating to mental health is challenging for most people so I don’t understand how someone can rush you and think that it’s no big deal. She was getting annoyed at me because I was taking ‘too long’ to describe my mood and how I was feeling. I just don’t understand how this particular person got the position to talk to people who are struggling. It’s really concerning to me.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Time Makes New Wounds replies: 5

given up replies: 4

Living with crippling anxiety and fear replies: 1

Too much. replies: 1

feeling doomed replies: 3

I will never feel enough replies: 2

I am in a hole replies: 2

Meeting new therapist while acutely suicidal replies: 4

Futility replies: 1

CATT team replies: 5