Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 94

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Guest_4593 Don't know how to fit into life anymore
  • replies: 4

I have been telling myself for months everything would be ok once i took time off work ..but i have and nothing's changed .it didn't help at all. Being off did nothing.. Being around friends didn't help..Being alone didnt help having lazy days didn't... View more

I have been telling myself for months everything would be ok once i took time off work ..but i have and nothing's changed .it didn't help at all. Being off did nothing.. Being around friends didn't help..Being alone didnt help having lazy days didn't help..I don't know what's left.I dont wanna be at home i don't wanna go out i don't wanna be around people. I didn't drink less. I didn't wanna try more. Didnt sleep better, eat better. Just felt worse .. been more annoyed being off work, realising more my family are selfish selfentitled little brats that don't deserve my help. My friends are going through hell and im too drunk and preoccupied to act like my caring self .. im nobody right now im not good for work not good for my friends im not a good for my family im not good for myself .friends have suggested i need help, friends have said i need antidepressants other friends have said u won't manage with antidepressants coz u cant drink. I feel like im just in the too hard basket that it doesn't matter either way

Rupes79 Are you living for others?
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone,Can anyone else sympathise with living just to please others? As in you’d prefer not to be here but you understand what it would do to those you leave behind.Then you start the resent them because you hung around just so they don’t have t... View more

Hi Everyone,Can anyone else sympathise with living just to please others? As in you’d prefer not to be here but you understand what it would do to those you leave behind.Then you start the resent them because you hung around just so they don’t have to deal with it.

toby_29 always feeling the need to sh
  • replies: 1

i want to cut all the time and for no reason either. i just get the urge to do it. everyone asks me why i self harm and all i can say sometimes is "i dont know"it really bothers me sometimes cuz i dont know what to do to help. I have a private therap... View more

i want to cut all the time and for no reason either. i just get the urge to do it. everyone asks me why i self harm and all i can say sometimes is "i dont know"it really bothers me sometimes cuz i dont know what to do to help. I have a private therapist and a safety plan but i dont find those useful.last week i had to to get surgery for an infected cut and i thought that would help me to stop but it just makes me want to do it more.all i want to do all the time is cut and its so annoying.

Chris_Tas Suicidal constantly
  • replies: 312

Hi all. Like others I think of suicide basically constantly. It's like a someone whispering in me ear that I can't stop as my life otherwise is (mostly) ok. I told my parents again but they just said Im an attention seeker that using it as an excuse ... View more

Hi all. Like others I think of suicide basically constantly. It's like a someone whispering in me ear that I can't stop as my life otherwise is (mostly) ok. I told my parents again but they just said Im an attention seeker that using it as an excuse not to work. That is far from the trust as when I tell them I'm suicidal they laugh and then get angry. It's so difficult as it makes my suicidal thoughts worse but they seem completely oblivious. Anyway stay safe all. Chris

Marnay21 Do I deserve it or is my mum the asshole
  • replies: 4

So since about a year and a half ago, I started having a quicker mouth, and it would run at the worst of times but I think I've gotten better with it and I've had fam and friends agree but my mum still says everything I say is extremely rude, or out ... View more

So since about a year and a half ago, I started having a quicker mouth, and it would run at the worst of times but I think I've gotten better with it and I've had fam and friends agree but my mum still says everything I say is extremely rude, or out of line, and if I make a joke about my grandmother, because thats our family, we make fun of each other, she will laugh but usually my grandma will get offended. Then my mum will yell at me for about 10 minutes which I think is unfair, and she always sides with my grandma no matter what. She often tells me to go blank myself, die, or "I hate you" (1st time she said it I was abt 8 and left sobbing in the driveway). I'm extremely quick witted but sarcastic at the same time which gets me into trouble sometimes but its to almost anything I say. No matter what its rude or insincere or disrespectful, or I'm talking like she's a piece of crap on my shoe. Everything I say is in a joking manner but clearly I think my voice sounds like something else because its almost always rude, even though no one else says it. I've given up trying to compliment her or family because it apparently just sound insincere but whenever she asks my opinion and I give my honest answer she yells at me because it was to blunt. I've given up trying to help around the house because I always do it wrong resulting in her screaming at me for ages, and me saying some dumb crap back at her. I've been diagnosed with depression by my GP but they are refusing to give me antidepressants because they say I'm too young (I'm 12) ad they're trying to refer to me a 1000 dollar psyc but ik we can't afford it so I'm making my mum not do it. I think my mum hates me, because she doesn't try to engage in conversation gets pissed if I try and show her a video, doesn't seem interested if I tell her about my life, but then gets mad at me if I don't tell her. So am I rude, and the creep who deserves it because I'm rude or is my mum dramatic/ toxic

Mysweetpiano761 Feeling alone
  • replies: 4

These days life just seems like such a struggle… I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and cptsd but I also think I could be struggling with ocd too. I have a psychologist who I’v been seeing for about 2 years she’s helpful but I just don’t... View more

These days life just seems like such a struggle… I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and cptsd but I also think I could be struggling with ocd too. I have a psychologist who I’v been seeing for about 2 years she’s helpful but I just don’t think therapy is enough support… some days I seriously feel like just dying. If I had the opportunity I will probably take the opportunity to kill myself the only thing stopping me is my family and how much of an effect that would have on them. I’m trying my best to keep my head above water but shits hard. I’m trying to find a psychiatrist but the waiting process is so long I think I have to wait about 3 months and it’s super costly too… I’m a uni student so I’m barely making much either. Also I’ve taken some sick days from work because of my mental health and my manager is beginning to get mad at me… she doesn’t have any context to how I’m feeling so I get that and she needs workers to show up but I can’t rn. I feel like a let the whole team down…. I could bring it up to her but there’s a lot of stigma surrounding mental health so I’m just a bit scared… confused and lost I hope someone can share some words of encouragement

Deano360 Silence and darkness
  • replies: 1

I didn't want it to be like this but feeling like this is it for me me and god know the plan

I didn't want it to be like this but feeling like this is it for me me and god know the plan

Moonbeamer Body dysmorphia or just plain ugly?
  • replies: 4

The mental health issues I struggle with a many and almost overwhelming and go back to events in the childhood - could not cover it all right here! One of the biggest hurdles for me has been how people regard me, physically.I always seem to repulse p... View more

The mental health issues I struggle with a many and almost overwhelming and go back to events in the childhood - could not cover it all right here! One of the biggest hurdles for me has been how people regard me, physically.I always seem to repulse people. I don't have to open my mouth or do anything to be abused... so from early childhood I realised it was my looks. I was bullied at school for my appearance and weight. I (still, at 50!) struggle with the mental effects of eating disorders, disorders that were NOT treated (except with punishment, humiliation and abuse in the family).The facts say I am ugly.I also know that when I see my reflection I see a monster and I avoid ALL social situations, hardly leaving the house because I just don't want to upset people with my hideousness. I have been abused by blokes (mainly, although women also express their disgust) in public places too many times to remember.So, I am ugly. I also know that my symptoms and experience is related to body dysmorphia and the related issues to the eating disorders I battle. In spite of these experiences and feelings, I have never been formally diagnosed with bd. I suspect that psychiatric professionals see ugly people as unable to also experiencing bd... I mean, such people ARE ugly so the fact they feel monstrous is only natural and not a real psychological problem. Some medical professionals seem to think I'm fishing for compliments. Male practicioners will not tough the issue with a ten foot pole.This stigma is real. I suffer every day - frequently leading to suicidal ideas (and past attempts) and thoughts of mutilation. I may be seen as ugly scum by society - ugly females are absolutely not welcome in this world - so, are these abusers and (what I consider) neglectful professionals right? Are these feelings just the natural and deserving punishment for not being 'easy on the eye', or can an ugly person experience body dysmorphia as much as a normal person?

Katey75 My life is one hurdle after another
  • replies: 4

I'm not sure how much more of my life I can truly take. I'm not exaggerating when I say that nothing goes right for me. Despite my best efforts, and doing my best to be kind, empathetic and generous to others, the world just craps on me time after ti... View more

I'm not sure how much more of my life I can truly take. I'm not exaggerating when I say that nothing goes right for me. Despite my best efforts, and doing my best to be kind, empathetic and generous to others, the world just craps on me time after time. I don't have any money, I don't have a job, and I'm facing homelessness. The only thing worth living for is my daughter. If I didn't have her, I would literally have no reason to be here. I feel like I'm a burden, a drain on everyone else (including my poor daughter), and just useless. This has been my life for years. Nothing changes, nothing improves, it's just one letdown or challenge after another. I had a job - a good job - and because I couldn't live up to the boss's expectations, they let me go. I decided to apply for a government program, and after fighting for my spot I was accepted on the proviso that I have a mentor. I have tried and start my own business, but I have no customers, my mentor has never been in contact with me. I leave messages, I send emails - nothing. Then, last week, I was thrown off the program because of "non-participation" and because I hadn't managed to reach my goals (get customers, basically). I tried, I really did, but nothing ever happened. It's like I was invisible. I had to sell my apartment. I started looking for another apartment before I put mine on the market, so I knew there were places out there. My place sold quickly, but for a lot less than I paid, and now I'm desperately looking for a new place, but the real estate agents ignore my calls and emails, my conveyancer does the same, and I don't have access to the money I've made from the sale because it's with the conveyancer. In a couple of weeks I will need to move out, and I have nowhere to go. I just feel like no-one can see me, or hear me. I often wonder if I'm imagining things - like I'm not really here and it's all a dream. But it's not. This is my life. My would I want to live in a world where no-one can see me, or hear me? Where I'm invisible, and hopeless? Why should I keep trying, when it happens to me again and again?