Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Pinned discussions

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

I don’t know anymore

replies: 1

It’s interesting how our minds work. We can be so accepting and nonjudgmental towards others but as soon as we think of ourselves there’s nothing but negative thoughts. This is what I have been told anyways. But the thing is.. it isn’t just that simple. People ask me what my plans are for the future but I can never answer that because I don’t see one. I’m tired of feeling worthless all the time and the thing is when you have no friends all you do in your spare time is think… and thinking is my downfall. Because that’s when I realise that I have no one, that’s when I realise that I’ve messed things up, it’s also when I realise that it will just be easier if I wasn’t here because what am I leaving behind anyways besides feeling like shit all the time?

Where to from here?

replies: 5

I grew up with the end goal of never living past 27, and now I am almost 31 and that scares me. I never made plans, never anticipated living this long. I moved from one country to another in hopes I could find a drive, make a plan, find a life, but it’s been a lonely existence here. Making friends - genuine friends - is hard in another country. My sense of humour is dark, my many different jobs have also been dark, and I find myself more alone than I’ve ever been. I find it hard to connect with people when the things I have seen makes me not want to waste time on superficial conversation. I just wish I could make a deep and meaningful connection. I wish I could just put the rose-tinted glasses back on and pretend that my life isn’t mundane, or for nothing. I wake up, I go to work where I sit on my own for eight hours a day, I go home and sleep - repeat. I try to get past my fear of people by going to local events, but frankly I’m so scared. People leave, and I stay where I am. I feel I am just existing. I have nothing to show for my life. No career goals, debt, friends that are in another country with their own lives to lead, people who left when they garnered something better. I am alone, utterly alone. I wasn’t meant to live this long, the constant reminder on my brain as I get closer and closer to my birthday, another year wasted. What do I do here? I am in a foreign country and I can’t keep doing this. I need help, direction - something, anything. Please.

hi guys

replies: 6

i am new so like yeah i have been thoeugh a lot ithink of just killing mh self sometimes

Depression, anxiety, parents fighting, bullying.

replies: 1

This is a safe space to talk about Depression, anxiety, parents fighting, bullying.Or you having suicidal thoughts or you do self harm. No one will ever know. Expect for this group!

She showed me the scars

replies: 3

Hello, my 14 yr old has been really depressed and self harming for about a year now. It has been a rough ride. A couple of months ago she became really suicidal and I think she even had a kind of an attempt. With the help of one of her friends and her psychologist she seems better now. In fact she says she has not self harmed for almost a month, the longest she has ever gone and she feels a bit better and can see with more clarity what she has done. From the outside she certainly seems better. I know suicidal people can seem better before they carry out a plan but I don’t think that’s where she is at and the psychologist agrees. As part of her feeling better and with summer coming, she has decided to show me her scars so that I can come to terms with them and she can have more freedom to where what she likes in summer. the scars are in her right arm. She is totally covered from shoulder to elbow and she has a few more between elbow and wrist. she told me not to react when I saw them and yet I did. It was just a very sad “oh Sweetpea” but of course I should not have said anything. She showed me the elbow to wrist yesterday (which I did not react to) then spent most of today crying about it and calling helplines about it while she was out. Little did I know how much worse the rest of her arm was. We talked about it but even though I initially said she could wear what she wanted, when I saw the severity of it I suggested sticking to short sleeves rather than sleeveless. She was hurt by that she told me later and she explained why which I sort of get but I also realise that those scars are obvious and the source unmistakable and I worry about her having to cope with questions or being seen differently by people (for years to come!) and I won’t lye, I worry about people judging me too, I know it is not about me but this is a factor too. I feel like enough if a failure already I can’t cope with any questions.and then there is her 8 yr old sister which I am desperate to shield from this. My teen agrees and she is not planning to wear anything that shows her scars around her sister.my questions are:1. Would like any insight anyone might have and how to help my teen stay on the recovery path (needless to say I am finding it hard to relax)2. What do we do if her sister sees the scars?thanks!

Guess it could be worse?

replies: 1

Be prepared for a life story, but I feel I need to write it. (sorry) TRIGGER WARNING. I wrote my life story but was way more than the 2500 Characters. So Guess I'll just say Hi and i'm 7 days sober, but still feeling super unwell and wanting to end it all. I have been going though the redress scheme over the last year and it's really triggering. Is there anyway I can share my story, that is longer than the 2500 words? Thanks.

What to do?

replies: 2

I struggled with mental health and depression for a long time when i was younger. Bullying and family issues lead to it starting. I SH but refused to beleive i was depressed and frequently thought about suicide, I nearly commited. I'm ok now. Im 17 b... View more

I Don't Feel Alive Anymore.

replies: 1

I am 56 years. Have not worked in 9 years due to back injury. Have not had a single close human friend in years. Can't talk with family. Own a house with my girlfriend of 20 years, but have been separated but under the one roof for 4 years, separate rooms. Have not had any effection whatsoever from a woman in 6 years. Lost all my lifes savings in a scam 2 years ago. Lost my best friend of 20 years, my pet cat a month ago suddenly. I'm on centrelink jobseeker, doctor said I can't work. Been waiting a year 1/2 for disability pension. Now they are trying to find me work against my doctors certificates. Been waiting over 6 months to see a psychiatrist. Seen two psychologists with little help. Diagnosed with Depression + Anxiety, on lots of meds. Heavily addiction to porn/masturbation. I'm lonely, intensely sexually frustrated day/night, sad, tearful, not coping, bored, depressed, empty inside, thoughts of suicide often. Can't go out to meet women or people in general due to home bills/low jobseeker payments. Isolated for some years now, hanging around by myself day/night. Feel trapped with no way out of my situation. Now might have to sell our house. Because I'm getting to frustrated for intimacy + it takes money for that. I hate sleeping alone + being alone in general. I miss my pet who gave me comfort, so much. I don't have any kids. I have no support, no good advice, find it hard to make decisions or the right ones. No good advise. Live with a sometimes verbally abusive + manipulative ex who I have nothing in common with + doesn't understand or wish to hear my problems. I have no one to encourage me or share my pain, feelings with. I hate my life and want to see my only dear friend, my pet again. I don't know what to do, I feel so lost, helpless and desperate. If I do see someone of the opposite sex that I like. I'm afraid to talk to them + plus feel insecure, because I don't want to be boring. But seriously, what have I got to talk about in my life that's interesting? Plus the separated under one roof thing, would they trust me. I really hate my situation in every way. Every single day is exactly the same as the day before. I do go for walks, watch movies, gardening, but through this I still feel the same inside. Isolation, Loneliness, Depression, sexual frustration is killing me literally. How the death of my pet has made it even harder....I can't cope, I'm not coping!! Hurt so much inside!! I need real help. Have trouble expressing my feelings verbally

When tornadoes form together.

replies: 15

Hi,My name is ABC01. I am not going to harm myself or others. I recently experienced a traumatic death and have been diagnosed with Major Depression,Mixed Anxiety Disorder and PTSD. I have been having dark thoughts in the last couple of weeks and the right people do know about this.I have an anger tornado about my grief and I have a sadness tornado about my grief. Recently they started to merge and bad thoughts have been coming into my mind. Like I don’t know how I am possibly supposed to live out the rest of my life. Possibly 40 more years. How do I do it? Do I want to do it? Like it is now? What is keeping me here and exactly how much do I care about that? Would that be selfish of ME to contemplate my existence and what that would mean to be non existent?Why should I care if it is about me. Other people can take care of themselves. I mostly am exhausted. I don’t think I want to die. I think I just want all the intense emotions, energy and constantly have to fight/struggle every day to survive to just shut up. I would like to stop pretending. I am used to life kicking me down and dealing with heavy situations. This by far is the hardest and heaviest life event I have ever had to deal with,and the others have been pretty bad too. Life is just going to keep kicking me. That is how it has been for me. I used to think suicide was Selfish,but now I am starting to understand more,why people come to that point. Thank you for listening. ABC01

Self harm, eating disorder (bit of a ramble)

replies: 2

Hi everyone, hope you’re all well.Havent hit a ‘rock bottom’ in a few months, but this weekend has been particularly challenging. I find every weekend I get the ‘blues’ because I am quite isolated and have a lack of routine out of my weekdays. I haven’t self-harmed since starting antidepressants (in a few months) until the weekend which is when I know things are getting particularly bad. I have been crying so much that I’ve gotten headaches and my stomach was in physical pain. I ended up contacting a helpline and vomited during the phone call weirdly enough. I am curious to know if anyone would know why this might have happened? I am still young but would never think I would go through this much pain in my life at my age. When I am depressed, I find myself ruminating about all the ‘bad things’ that have happened to me and feel sorry for myself. I thought things were getting better but I end up back in the same cycle. I wish I just had a friend that I could talk to or hug. Someone that would tell me everything’s going to be okay. I wish I could tell my younger self that but I feel I would be lying. It’s also been hard for me to go out without criticising my appearance and feeling uncomfortable in my skin. And when I do, people, particularly men, have made me feel extremely uncomfortable or I even experience people yelling at me from their cars when I go for walks. I often see other girls who are extremely pretty and wish I was them. I feel like my life would be more simple if I was just ‘prettier’. I’ve spoken about this with my therapist as I am also recovering from an ED, but in recovery it’s extremely hard to go against society’s expectations as there is so much value placed on looks that we are made to believe it defines our worth. When you recover from an ED you have to unlearn that belief, which is challenging. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just give in and only be something people want to look at.Thank you for listening

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

I don’t know anymore replies: 1

Where to from here? replies: 5

hi guys replies: 6

Depression, anxiety, parents fighting, bullying. replies: 1

She showed me the scars replies: 3

Guess it could be worse? replies: 1

What to do? replies: 2

I Don't Feel Alive Anymore. replies: 1

When tornadoes form together. replies: 15

Self harm, eating disorder (bit of a ramble) replies: 2