Dear Shirlz,
Welcome to the forum and I really feel for you. I have definitely been in that place of not wanting to be here anymore at times. I think Christmas unfortunately can make it worse, especially if we’re on our own or feel alone, even when with others. Somehow all the emphasis on togetherness at Christmas can make us feel more isolated and depressed.
I don’t know if this helps, but I have begun to identify a few things that contributed to my down mental state in the last few years. These have included everything from hormonal factors to losses to interpersonal relationships that weren’t very healthy for me to having moved to a town where I feel quite isolated and a lack of community despite trying to fit in. Is there anything you feel you can identify that may be contributing to how you feel? I have found that just being able to identify some of the triggers for my loneliness and depression has really helped as I can then do something about it. For example, I’ve relinquished the unhealthy relationships and I’m now working towards the practical goal of moving back to the city where I have more social connections and find I feel better.
Is there anyone you feel some meaningful connection with in your life at the moment? I think it’s so hard when we don’t feel connected. You could try reaching out to a few groups such as common interest groups. It can be a bit hit and miss, but sometimes you do eventually find the right people for you.
I have found even just one or two meaningful friendships makes a world of difference. I’ve called and chatted on helplines quite a few times too and that has helped when I’ve been really low. I hope you know you are always welcome here to communicate how you feel and have a chat.
I’m not sure if any of that helps but just wanted you to know you’re not alone and there are others who have felt similar to you. Things can and do get better but it can be so hard to know that when in the midst of feeling really down.
Take good care and sending you kind and gentle support,
Eagle Ray
