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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_49682899 Advice:Family member not fit for caring duties
  • replies: 2

The situation involves my mother in law caring for her husband which has vascular dementia, mobility issue slow walking and has higher care needs. Has been approved for the top level aged care package with respite and approved residential living for ... View more

The situation involves my mother in law caring for her husband which has vascular dementia, mobility issue slow walking and has higher care needs. Has been approved for the top level aged care package with respite and approved residential living for the future. Her mental health has declined a lot when family approach her about seek professional help of counselling she denies it and ask for my anti depressant as the solution. She had been using his aged care approved package the for her benefit such as provide meal on wheel or cleaning non important areas of the house like a patio mostly for her needs not her husband who need it. However, when approached be friend or healthcare provide a spill about her non existent or minimal health issues like muscle sprain which seem to be all for attention and pity. Sometime there been occasions where she doesn’t want to deal with him and say it too hard and would leave him dirty and unhygienic due to lack of shower this cause issue where he has reoccurring medical issue on his buttocks area. But he can listen to instructions and can do the task. They live in small bedroom apartment where he sleeps on a sofa bed and lately she been hoarding item inside the house where there heaps of fall risk for him. Aged care have come to do an assessment and I’m upset they never indicated that this living arrangement is not appropriate for him.when she complained about caring for him the family have suggested it time to transition him to residential living where he can be taken care of by professionals but she always say no he not ready and she want him with her. There relationship wasn’t great where they were seperate for over 10 years before he became unwell. She make say comments to him about being stinky. At this time I feel like she may not fit to care for him and has mental health issues where she can be very nasty when trying to help. She has tried to palm him off to us but we can’t as we have full time jobs and she had no job. I’m sorry for the rant, I feel helpless as I cannot talk openly with anyone as it will affect my relationship.

RaspberryMuffin My life is hard
  • replies: 2

Is it just me or is anyone else out there at 13 years old and u saw ur girlfriend cheat on u but u haven’t confronted her cuz shes the only one u have but u kinda wanna dump h but u still love her.? Chat if ur in the same/ similar boat. View more

Is it just me or is anyone else out there at 13 years old and u saw ur girlfriend cheat on u but u haven’t confronted her cuz shes the only one u have but u kinda wanna dump h but u still love her.? Chat if ur in the same/ similar boat.💁🏼

2675 When I'm feeling hurt and alone I just want to hide away.
  • replies: 1

My daughter loves me very much but insists on coming to my house when I'm feeling very fragile. This happened a couple of days ago and I really lost the plot. I said some dreadful things and hurt her. I just felt cornered and wanted her to leave. Now... View more

My daughter loves me very much but insists on coming to my house when I'm feeling very fragile. This happened a couple of days ago and I really lost the plot. I said some dreadful things and hurt her. I just felt cornered and wanted her to leave. Now I'm so ashamed. She is coming with me to see my doctor today and wants to be able to tell him how dreadfully crazy and angry I was. She thinks I need help, but I just need to be alone when I'm feeling so unhinged. Help

Guest_81493431 anxiety estrangement from family
  • replies: 2

helloI'm new to this forum ; seeking help coping with siblings over exclusion from friendship and support initiated by family estate

helloI'm new to this forum ; seeking help coping with siblings over exclusion from friendship and support initiated by family estate

mikasa5ever best friend suddenly ended our friendship of 4 years and now i'm confused on what to do
  • replies: 1

It happened on Sunday before I started going to school. She sent me a VERY long text message on discord about how our friendship had lots of problems and how I've been becoming more distant towards her. She even confessed that she's been thinking abo... View more

It happened on Sunday before I started going to school. She sent me a VERY long text message on discord about how our friendship had lots of problems and how I've been becoming more distant towards her. She even confessed that she's been thinking about this for MONTHS, and at the end of her message, she told me not to reply or interact with her anymore... so I didn't say anything. Even though I really, REALLY wanted to tell her what I've been thinking. It's Wednesday, 8:32 AM, and I'm in class wondering what happened between us to get to this point. Perhaps it was because we're in different schools now, and I've been experiencing HS without her, or the fact that she felt excluded while I had all the fun or something. I don't know. I'm really bad at pointing out the problems with myself.And speaking of emotions, my mental health has recently started to take a deep decline ever since she moved schools. Now that we are no longer friends, I don't know what I'm living for anymore. My only reason for going to school was because I wanted to see her in University and live together, and now...?? Look, I understand how life can get better, but this time, I'm not even sure it will BE better. Especially with how the world's kind of going down in flames or something, er... IDK. I feel empty inside. My mood swings are more irregular and I just jump from feeling happy to feeling depressed and pessimistic. My best friends no longer my best friend, I'm doing terribly in maths, everything in my life feels like it's going to fall apart and I'm going to be at the root of it. Please just give me anything to help with my emotions. I'm lost.

Guest_61614070 Anger issues
  • replies: 1

I don't know what to say and how to feel about it but sometimes I feel that I would never be able to get rid of the anger I have inside me because of my past traumatic experiences. Getting married to the love of my life and dreaming about the perfect... View more

I don't know what to say and how to feel about it but sometimes I feel that I would never be able to get rid of the anger I have inside me because of my past traumatic experiences. Getting married to the love of my life and dreaming about the perfect life and then ending up getting dictated by his mother about how to dress how to live and literally how to spend the entire day. And then the constant feeling of not being good enough for him and his family. Always ending up feeling guilty for raising your concerns or voice even for the right reason. Seems like I am still stuck at that phase. I have moved out of my country. My MIL for now isn't living with me. I live with my husband but whenever I feel even a little that I am being dictated and controlled, it makes me so angry and panic

Guest_14904852 Cheating Partner
  • replies: 3

I recently moved 2000km away from my family and support to live the sea life dream with my partner and my kids. I found out I am pregnant -18 weeks. yesterday on my birthday I found out he has been sleeping with escorts since we moved here. I don’t k... View more

I recently moved 2000km away from my family and support to live the sea life dream with my partner and my kids. I found out I am pregnant -18 weeks. yesterday on my birthday I found out he has been sleeping with escorts since we moved here. I don’t know what to do. I am so hurt. I am so angry. I haven’t eaten in days. I can’t even function. He has left our house and I haven’t heard from him in over 24 hours. I’ve booked a std test for next week. where do I go from here. I have no money to relocate. I’m stuck here. I go on maternity leave in a few months with no income. I don’t see any way out of this mess. I feel like I am drowning.

MeccaAddict I don’t enjoy life
  • replies: 1

I don’t know how else to say this, but more often than not, I hate my life intensely. I am in my mid thirties, with two kids aged 8 & 4 who are very loved. I have been with my husband for 12 years. He’s a good man, we live in a lovely house and great... View more

I don’t know how else to say this, but more often than not, I hate my life intensely. I am in my mid thirties, with two kids aged 8 & 4 who are very loved. I have been with my husband for 12 years. He’s a good man, we live in a lovely house and great suburb. On paper, life is perfect. My youngest is a very sweet child, however they have a developmental delay and require speech and occupational therapy. They are improving but still seem like a 2 year old, with tantrums, comprehension, unable to converse at the age they should and while I know it could be far worse, I am so exhausted & miss being able to do normal things in public (such as grocery shopping or taking them to dinner) without complete meltdowns & them running away. They look so normal so I feel people judge them and me without understanding. I remember thinking how hard things were at the age of two, but that is was developmentally normal, and two years later, we are still in the same boat. My oldest is also a beautiful child and excels at all they do. They have met milestones perfectly and then some. But being their safe space, I bear the brunt of any of their anger and frustration which although normal, can be a very hard role to be in. My husband is a good man, a great father but we have no relationship apart from being flatmates and co-parents, and it’s too far gone that I don’t even have any interest in trying to be romantic anymore, and he certainly makes no effort. I wish he would wake up and say he was leaving as I am not brave enough to be the one to pull the pin. I had a pretty traumatic childhood and while both of my parents are in my life, a lot of my experience has made me cold and unable to talk to people about how I am feeling, and I mask how I am doing (which is not good) and everyone would think my life is great. I don’t even know what to say or do, but i do know i think often about how much i hate how my life is turning out. I adore my children and but this wasn’t what i pictured life looking like, a loveless marriage and so many years deep in the trenches, where I feel stressed. I am lonely and so often I wish i could turn the clock back and make different choices.

al_ch Depressed yet somehow being a good husband
  • replies: 2

Hello there So, this kind of started while my wife was pregnant. Couldn't sleep and lots of changes going on for both of us (new job, moving house and baby on the way). GP thought it would be a good idea to try and put me on medication so I've been o... View more

Hello there So, this kind of started while my wife was pregnant. Couldn't sleep and lots of changes going on for both of us (new job, moving house and baby on the way). GP thought it would be a good idea to try and put me on medication so I've been on that for 2 years. Fast forward 2 years and between baby having eating tantrums and wife over worrying about the smallest things, it doesn't feel like there is improvement. I think I'm a good husband. I work full time and manage to be home every night. Fridge is always full, baby has everything baby could need and want, wife is somewhat spoiled I think. She does think I should do something for myself, but I just don't have the energy or the headspace for it. I'm not a big drinker, but once or twice a week in the evening I'll sit outside under the veranda, watch TV while drinking a few scotches. Somehow I feel guilty doing that too at the start, but then of course, the alcohol takes effect. Is this everyday life for new fathers? Does it get better? She hints she wants another in a few years, but I can't go through this again!

Guest_97906741 family situation affecting my work at university
  • replies: 1

hi, i am new here so not sure if i am writing this correctly but just wanted to see if anyone has some ideas for what i should do at this time/similar stories. about a month ago, my dad told my mum out of the blue (they were having a few issues in th... View more

hi, i am new here so not sure if i am writing this correctly but just wanted to see if anyone has some ideas for what i should do at this time/similar stories. about a month ago, my dad told my mum out of the blue (they were having a few issues in the last couple of years but nothing major, they have been married happily for almost 30 years) that he did not want to continue in their marriage. my mum was very upset and so were my siblings and i . i am currently in my final year at uni still living at home and am trying to get through my honours thesis and final placements in a health degree. this affected my work quite a bit although i was mainly able to keep afloat with putting honours on the back bench as placement requirements got higher. at the start of last week, i was starting to feel more stable and able to cope with my workload. throughout this time my parents were going back and forth on whether they were really splitting or not, with mum trying everything to get back on track and dad saying that nothing was working. they sat us down to say that had decided to officially split up at the end of last week. we were al super upset obviously and wondering what the future would look like. that night, my sibling went through his phone and found messages between him and another woman (family friend) - he had been cheating on my mum for a bit over a month. not sure if things got physical but they probably did. we confronted him and asked him to tell mum but he denied anything ever happening so we went back and forth in a really unpleasant way until we actually had to show him what we had found. i am still trying to keep up with university requirements but my honours thesis has definitely not got the time it has needed over the past few weeks. i met with my supervisors recently (who know that i have a 'situation' going on but not the full details) who said that they are very concerned about how my progression is going for my thesis and are thinking that i might not actually be able to finish on time (submission is at the end of this year). i am honestly terrified of delaying anything at uni because i am just done and want to get out of there and move on with my life. i am accessing psych support and have started the process for special considerations etc, but i am not sure much can be done in my situation. sorry for the ultra long post, just was wondering if anyone had advice or has been in a similar situation before