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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Rocky Historical cheating
  • replies: 0

My husband of 35 years has recently told me that when he worked overseas for 2 years, (back for 1 week every 5 weeks) 8 years into our marriage he slept with several prostitutes, frequented strip clubs and had lap dances and had a 3 month affair with... View more

My husband of 35 years has recently told me that when he worked overseas for 2 years, (back for 1 week every 5 weeks) 8 years into our marriage he slept with several prostitutes, frequented strip clubs and had lap dances and had a 3 month affair with a colleague who then tried to extort money from him and emotionally blackmail him with suicide threats. He also had unprotected sex with her. He only admitted the truth after I confronted him with a positive STI result. He drip fed me lies for 3 weeks, then drip fed me the 'truth' for another 3. The pain of this is real and raw and honestly I have never felt anything like this in my life. I had no concerns about him being faithful and we always refer to each other as best friends. I love him dearly but am repulsed by what he has done and how he has used women's bodies for his own gratification. Our kids were so young and I struggled without him. I don't know if I can ever forgive him, I will certainly never forget what he has done and all trust has gone. He has recently been diagnosed with ADD which explains the risk taking behaviours. But, there is no excuse, he knew right from wrong and lied to me for 20 odd years and took away my choice to stay or leave and not to mention getting my health checked. Back then I would have gone. Now, nearing retirement I don't know how to move forward from this. Life as I know it has changed. He wants to work on our marriage and is seeking specialist support. I just don't know if I have the energy or motivation to do the same. Would appreciate your thoughts.

Guest_65022022 Struggling with adult kids
  • replies: 1

I’m a solo parent of 3 kids aged 24-18. They are all studying and still at home. their dad lives overseas and has minimal input in their lives.im really struggling dealing with their behaviour, lack of respect for me and each other. Life at home is s... View more

I’m a solo parent of 3 kids aged 24-18. They are all studying and still at home. their dad lives overseas and has minimal input in their lives.im really struggling dealing with their behaviour, lack of respect for me and each other. Life at home is stressful and unrewardingI constantly wish they’d all move out of home and then feel bad for doing so.

_NAL_ What do I do
  • replies: 2

I'm a 12-year-old (F) and I'm living in a house where nothing I do is correct and I will never be enough for anyone. I'm repeatedly disrespected and set guidelines because of my age and sex and I hate going home. I've ruined so many friendships becau... View more

I'm a 12-year-old (F) and I'm living in a house where nothing I do is correct and I will never be enough for anyone. I'm repeatedly disrespected and set guidelines because of my age and sex and I hate going home. I've ruined so many friendships because of my family dynamic, and I just feel like I'd be doing everyone a favour if I never was born. I feel like my friends are drifting away and my academics are dropping and I'm expected to shoulder all the problems in my family. But I also think I'm selfish for wanting to die and leave everything for my parents to solve and I feel a responsibility to care for my unborn sister. I hate them so much but somehow, I love them too. I'm always monitored and I need to talk to someone, but I would do literally anything to keep myself from my parents. They expect so many impossible things of me that I don't know if they really love me. I love music and my parents are trying to rip my only anchor point away from me. I feel trapped and suffocated. I don't know what to do.

Guest_17055349 Boyfriend won't stop lying
  • replies: 5

So I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years (we are both 19) and he has lied to me many many times during that time. He has told me that he is a compulsive liar and can't fix it. He lies about a lot and has even cheated on me but I feel like I can't... View more

So I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years (we are both 19) and he has lied to me many many times during that time. He has told me that he is a compulsive liar and can't fix it. He lies about a lot and has even cheated on me but I feel like I can't live without him now and need him here. I don't know what to do and just need some advice because all my friends tell me to leave him but I'm scared to. I don't want to keep being lied to but he says that he will change. I found out again yesterday that he was lying about something important and it really hurt since it was my sister's 18th and my pop has just passed, so much is happening and he still lies and I don't know what to do at all. any advice is appreciated but I am very sensitive atm •́⁠ ⁠ ⁠‿⁠ ⁠,⁠•̀

Guest_67378638 I Messed Up and It Will Probably Cost me my Family
  • replies: 2

So I messed up, and it's likely going to cost me my family and friends and maybe more. Long story short, I did something terrible just over a week ago. I couldn't control my impulses, and even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I did it anyway... View more

So I messed up, and it's likely going to cost me my family and friends and maybe more. Long story short, I did something terrible just over a week ago. I couldn't control my impulses, and even though I knew what I was doing was wrong, I did it anyway. My wife found out, and it's probably going to cost me everything. I don't want to go into detail, and it wasn't infidelity, but was probably just as bad if not worse. Anyway, I don't know what to do. I have 2 young kids that are everything to me. They're bright, funny, amazing kids, and I love them so much. I would never ever do anything to harm them, and I never have. However, my wife has lost all faith and trust in me now. We weren't in a good place before, but now it's way worse, and while we're still living under the same roof, I can imagine she would rather I just disappear. I'm giving her space for now, and I really am committed to improving myself (started seeing a pyschologist) and doing anything I can to build trust again, but I don't know if it will be enough (it probably won't). I just don't know what to do. I'll probably lose everything important to me, and I have no one to blame but myself.

MaggiePie Will I every be enough?
  • replies: 2

Will I ever be enough? I am not a good enough friend, I have no friendsi I am not a good enough mother, my children would be so much better off with someone else, one of my kids doesn’t even talk to mei am not a good enough partner, I make my partner... View more

Will I ever be enough? I am not a good enough friend, I have no friendsi I am not a good enough mother, my children would be so much better off with someone else, one of my kids doesn’t even talk to mei am not a good enough partner, I make my partner mad I am not a good enough sister, my sisters cut me off 11 years ago I am just not enough and wondering what the point in anything is. I try my best and it isn’t enough. It never will be. I don’t know why I am posting this, I don’t have anyone to talk to so had to get it out in hope putting my feelings in words will stop my pain.

Dawn Born abandoned - adoption
  • replies: 8

Hi dear reader, I'd like to open with addressing the issue of adoption, abandonment, separation anxiety, trauma, no past memory of a safe place and it goes on. Firstly, I'm new to this site. The first thing that I noticed is a list of disorders and t... View more

Hi dear reader, I'd like to open with addressing the issue of adoption, abandonment, separation anxiety, trauma, no past memory of a safe place and it goes on. Firstly, I'm new to this site. The first thing that I noticed is a list of disorders and the causes of them on the homepage. What greatly concerns me is that there is NOTHING on there which mentions adoption nor addresses the issues of which adoptees face which is not that different from that of other trauma "victims". With the recent federal apology and the collective voices becoming louder, I would hope to see that this issue IS being acknowledged at the least and addressed and there is some sort of support out here for us. I was adopted at birth, am 43, female and would really like to see some support. I have managed to scroll through to about page 5 and not found anything to assist with this issue. I might point out, that this type of trauma is a specialised trauma in that it's not relative to every day living (although it is). What I mean by this is that if a person who is not adopted experiences a trauma, they have a memory of pre trauma. In other words, as I recently heard it, if you're driving along the highway to work, the same route every day, on one day you are involved in an accident on that highway. From then on you avoid that highway to avoid another accident but you have a memory of what it was like to safely drive on it prior to the accident which is something you can fall back on. For an adopted person this is not the case. There is no pre trauma memory therefore an adopted person is born into trauma, anxiety, separation, wounding - the one source of sensing, knowing the world is safe, its mother, is taken from them. This has a life long impact and varies in degrees. Of course what follows in a persons life also adds to this trauma. There are extremely limited helpers out there for this type of person yet these practices occurred 4+ decades ago (if we take this type of adoption to the early 70s). Help is LONG overdue and if there are any counsellors or assistance out there for this type of PTSD please make yourselves known to us via Beyondblue! Thankyou for reading

Reddzion My male friend is scaring me and i don't know what to do
  • replies: 1

I (33F) have known this man (45M) for 2 months, we tried dating in june 2026 but i left him as i didn't like how he treated me, getting drunk every week and telling me to harm myself, calling me an asshole, etc. Last few weeks i tried to keep it as a... View more

I (33F) have known this man (45M) for 2 months, we tried dating in june 2026 but i left him as i didn't like how he treated me, getting drunk every week and telling me to harm myself, calling me an asshole, etc. Last few weeks i tried to keep it as a peaceful friendship but over the last week to day his behaviour changed and i'm scared. He hates it that i have my busy days, he hates it that i want to see my friends. And today he sent 10+ messages going off at me for always being busy then tried to go through my friends list on FB to find certain friends that live near me, as i have a very close friend (who i have feelings for) who kept messaging me about his depression and the 45M would get pissed off whenever i would keep the privacy and not show the personal chats. This man knows where i live, high chances to see him randomly in public, i want to block him on everything but i am scared of what he'd do.. today he's really.. not liking it that i've gone quiet and my anxiety and trauma im over thinking.. i don't know what to do

Earth Girl My Auntie will probably pass away today
  • replies: 0

This morning, I got a call from my auntie's nursing home, and they asked me to let my mum know so she can call them back. A little bit after she got back home, the phone rang and she answered it. I thought that it would most likely just be about some... View more

This morning, I got a call from my auntie's nursing home, and they asked me to let my mum know so she can call them back. A little bit after she got back home, the phone rang and she answered it. I thought that it would most likely just be about something minor that they wanted to discuss, but I wasn't completely sure. Fairly soon in the phone call, I could tell that it was probably something more serious. After the call, my mum let me know that she will probably pass away soon and that they would make her very comfortable in bed and give her drugs that would take away the pain. We were never really close with our extended family (I'm not close with my immediate family either though it probably seems to others that I am), but I feel a bit upset. My auntie is a really nice person. My mum told me that whatever happens is probably for the best because her quality of life isn't good because she has a lot of health issues, which I agree with. It just feels strange, I guess. If she passes away today, that means she will pass away on the same day as my cat, just in a different year. I'm not really religious, but I realized last year that there probably is some truth to religion, and I was just wondering if anyone knows if there is some type of meaning behind this? If so, I hope there's some positive reason behind it, I just don't know what it would be. I'm glad that mum and I visited her recently. I wanted to write her a letter as well since it was hard for her to have visitors over at the moment because of her health issues so she could read them in her nursing home, but I can't do that now. I feel kind of bad that I didn't visit her more often, especially when she was feeling better because she would have loved to have us over then. I usually feel strange when a loved one is about to pass away.

Guest_55213916 I miss my babies....
  • replies: 2

Single father of 2 girls aged 7 and 5. Long story short, High school sweethearts fell out of love after our second child, found out she was cheating on me on social media and traced it back to when it started when she was heavily pregnant with my sec... View more

Single father of 2 girls aged 7 and 5. Long story short, High school sweethearts fell out of love after our second child, found out she was cheating on me on social media and traced it back to when it started when she was heavily pregnant with my second child, fast forward a few years and I haven't seen them in years. I feel this big gaping hole in my chest wont go away... I feel I need to improve on myself in areas where I failed in the relationship with my ex and kids but until that happens I feel her and her family will keep them from me until "i have gained their trust". I've been trying so hard to move on and better myself but this hole in my chest gets bigger with every though of them.... I long for my girls and I dont know what to do.

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