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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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CaringDad Struggling with conflict at home and trying to hold myself together as a dad
  • replies: 1

I’m a dad of two young children and I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point emotionally. Things at home between my wife and I have deteriorated badly over the past months and especially recently. There is a lot of tension, criticism, hostility and ... View more

I’m a dad of two young children and I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point emotionally. Things at home between my wife and I have deteriorated badly over the past months and especially recently. There is a lot of tension, criticism, hostility and verbal conflict. We barely communicate normally anymore unless it’s about the children or practical things.I feel constantly on edge in my own home. I try very hard to avoid arguments and de-escalate things, but even small interactions seem to become tense. I often feel criticised, dismissed or provoked, and when things escalate I end up emotionally overwhelmed and anxious. Recently I’ve been experiencing panic attacks, anxiety, racing thoughts at night and inability to sleep properly. Some nights I wake up at 3 or 4am and cannot get back to sleep.The hardest part is that I genuinely care deeply about my children and being a good father. I look after them every day, help with routines, daycare, meals, baths, bedtime, and I love them more than anything. My biggest fear right now is the idea of separation and somehow losing meaningful time with them or the stability of family life.At the same time, I know the current environment is unhealthy and emotionally exhausting for everyone. I’m trying to function normally, continue working, care for the kids, and keep myself calm, but internally I feel very broken down and emotionally drained.I often times feel successful at work and momentarily proud and confident again. But coming home to conflict and emotional distance has made the contrast really hard mentally.I’ve started reaching out for support, including legal advice and now posting here because I think I need help navigating this in a healthier way. I don’t want constant fighting. I don’t want my children growing up around tension and resentment but don't want to be forced to be away from them. I also don’t want to lose myself emotionally.I guess I’m posting because I feel isolated and overwhelmed, and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and how they managed to cope emotionally while still showing up as a parent.Thanks for reading

Alice850 Rebuilding after a traumatic breakup on the other side of the world
  • replies: 3

I moved to Norway from Australia in early December to be with my long distance boyfriend. We had met while travelling in November 2024 and did long distance for a year. We decided I would make the move because I was on a 12 month contract for work he... View more

I moved to Norway from Australia in early December to be with my long distance boyfriend. We had met while travelling in November 2024 and did long distance for a year. We decided I would make the move because I was on a 12 month contract for work here in Aus and was renting, while he owned a place and had just changed jobs. We made the decision to live with each other earlier than most people might expect because he turned 31 last year and I turned 30, we wanted to start our lives together. I was excited for the move and starting my life there. Even though it meant not having job security, learning a new language and fitting in in a new country. I was applying for jobs, going to Norwegian courses and trying to start my life there with him. He dumped me four months later. There were a few issues in our relationship, on both sides, and we both didn't handle things in the best way. I was willing to try couples therapy or get some space from each other before making the drastic decision of me moving all the way back home. Ultimately, he felt it wouldn't work and he's very good at protecting his own peace and looking after himself so he sent me home. It devastated me, this was someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I've now had to move back in with my parents, have turned 31 and don't have a job. I've been back for a month and had a job interview where I used to live and still have friends there, but found out yesterday I didn't get the job. I had a breakdown for the first time and feel so hopeless. Meanwhile, he's still got his job, friends around him and is keeping busy. He seems fine. I don't want to be stuck at my parent's house and it feels like I am. I'm going to therapy, journaling, going to the gym, eating healthy... doing all the things I'm meant to do to be able to heal, but it's so hard and this blow of not getting the job has sent me to rock bottom. Is there anyone who has gone through something similar, or has any tips for me on getting through this? I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Guest_90036321 gettibg help
  • replies: 1

hello! im lollipop and i really struggle with opening up. These recent weeks i believe ive built up too much pressure and stress on myself and it's been feeling foggy and numb (only when im alone but otherwise happy). I dont know how to reach out for... View more

hello! im lollipop and i really struggle with opening up. These recent weeks i believe ive built up too much pressure and stress on myself and it's been feeling foggy and numb (only when im alone but otherwise happy). I dont know how to reach out for help, i worry that it'll crush my friends to know that i'm struggling and i hate the attention of it as well. All the people i feel comfortable enough to reach out to have their own problems that i know of as they have come to me for help and comfort. Ive managed to actually send messages to my friends but i always end up deleting them and making an excuse for pings. Genuinely how do i get myself to open up to others without feeling disgusted?

Guest_55050864 My friend is driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do
  • replies: 0

I have a friend (let’s call him John) that as of recent had been getting on my nerves a lot more than he usually does. this all started when I was in a very toxic relationship with 2 people. They did not treat me well and John knew about this. After ... View more

I have a friend (let’s call him John) that as of recent had been getting on my nerves a lot more than he usually does. this all started when I was in a very toxic relationship with 2 people. They did not treat me well and John knew about this. After we broke up, John got closer to them even after I had warned him about them and he had seen what type of people they were before they got close, so he knew what he was getting into. Knowing all of this, he still got closer with both of my exes and was obviously hurt by them. Which, if you ask me was entirely his fault. I’m not going to say specifically what happened, but both of them were dating and displayed too much affection around him to the point where he now has trauma with relationships. Keep in mind he knew that they did this before he got close to them. But now, he’s taken his bad experiences with these guys and made it everybody else’s problem. You’re not allowed to even mention relationships around him or he’ll get pissy. Relationships are a part of life and he doesn’t understand that. It’s gotten so bad, that when i announced I had a boyfriend to my friend group, not even 5 minutes later he messaged me saying he was going to hang out with the group less because of the fact we were dating. He’s making my own relationship about him, and I know if I try to speak to him about it it’s just going to end up with him mad and us in an argument. I’m starting to dread being around him, because on top of that, everything upsets him so it’s like walking on eggshells around him. What could I possibly do to stop all of this?

booga having some friend issues
  • replies: 2

i have a friend who lives on the opposite side of the world from me, and so we can only spend time together at certain intervals (usually from 8 am to 2 pm) since i've turned 18, i no longer have a bedtime and have been staying up super late, causing... View more

i have a friend who lives on the opposite side of the world from me, and so we can only spend time together at certain intervals (usually from 8 am to 2 pm) since i've turned 18, i no longer have a bedtime and have been staying up super late, causing me to sleep in until 2 pm, which is when they usually go offline. they told me they feel bad about it and miss spending time with me, and i do too i feel really guilty about it, but staying up late feels almost cathartic to me because my mum used to be so strict about my bedtime that she'd always say stuff like "you're just looking for excuses to stay out of bed". my creativity comes to me most when its late, and when im in bed for too long and im not tired, i start overthinking things. i like to stay up late because it makes me feel like i am my own person choosing my own activities, but i feel bad about my friend because we cant spend much time together because of it. i just dont know what to do, i dont want this to ruin our friendship

Earth Girl Replies/comments not showing up on YouTube to my videos/comments - are they being mean?
  • replies: 8

I made a video and put it on YouTube. I received my first comment for it about a month ago, but when I checked it, it wasn't there anymore. I looked it up and it said that YouTube sometimes deletes comments that aren't nice so I thought that may be w... View more

I made a video and put it on YouTube. I received my first comment for it about a month ago, but when I checked it, it wasn't there anymore. I looked it up and it said that YouTube sometimes deletes comments that aren't nice so I thought that may be why it got deleted (which it could be), but recently, when I have made comments on YouTubes and shorts videos, it will say that I have received a reply for it, but doesn't show up and I'm not sure why and it's happened a lot lately so I don't think it's just YouTube deleting replies. I was wondering if anyone knows what could be going on and if there is a way I can see them? Also, YouTube doesn't always notify me when I have received a like, comment or reply so could someone please explain to me if there is a way I can get it to do so each time? It didn't notify me when I received a comment on my video. If they are negative comments/replies that I have received, can someone give me some advice on how to go about it and not let it weigh me down too much? I know these things are going to sometimes hurt, especially comments on a YouTube video and especially since this is my first YouTube video, but it would be great to have some advice on how to keep my head up when people are being mean.

Shar12345 I've reached my limit
  • replies: 2

I can do it anymore. I'm at single mum with a 16 yr old daughter at home and a 21 yr old that live with his dad.I work full-time and pick up any extra work I can. I'm going through divorce and financial separation.Mortgage, car issues, solicitors bil... View more

I can do it anymore. I'm at single mum with a 16 yr old daughter at home and a 21 yr old that live with his dad.I work full-time and pick up any extra work I can. I'm going through divorce and financial separation.Mortgage, car issues, solicitors bills blah blah. I'm burnt out.Today my daughter tells me she's been thinking out suicide. She tried last year. I've tried to get her help but she just won't take it. I don't know what to do anymore.I want her father to come get her but that will do absolutely nothing for her mental health.I can't do this anymore.

imdone Feeling helpless
  • replies: 9

I am a 52 year old women, married for 25 years. I'm going through peri menopause and it's really messing with me. Besides that, my husband, who I love very much, has just retired and thinks that gives him the green light to drink everyday, gamble and... View more

I am a 52 year old women, married for 25 years. I'm going through peri menopause and it's really messing with me. Besides that, my husband, who I love very much, has just retired and thinks that gives him the green light to drink everyday, gamble and now has taken to also smoking pot every night. It's medical pot, but whatever. I've tried to tell him how I feel about his drinking etc.. but he claims that he's doing nothing wrong. For context we have had major struggles our whole marriage with his drinking and gambling. I'm at a loss, I'm so unhappy at the moment, I feel deflated, everytime I mention anything it's a huge fight. I really don't know what to do, I feel so depressed.

SadSack Sexless marriage, can I save it?
  • replies: 9

Hi all,I'm new to forums, so please be patient if I mess up the etiquette or formatting etc.I find myself in a situation within my marriage that I could never have imagined even 5yrs ago. We have been married for 34 yrs (myself M 65yo, her 61 yo)& we... View more

Hi all,I'm new to forums, so please be patient if I mess up the etiquette or formatting etc.I find myself in a situation within my marriage that I could never have imagined even 5yrs ago. We have been married for 34 yrs (myself M 65yo, her 61 yo)& we had always enjoyed an intimate & sexually satisfying relationship.Around 5yrs ago everything came to a dead stop, no intimacy & no sex despite frequent attempts on my part & constant rejections. I was aware that menopause symptoms had been fairly noticeable so I tried to be patient & supportive hoping things would return to some sort of normal & switched focus to seeking intimacy rather than physical sex, but I found that even an embrace or touch of any kind (not sexual) caused her to recoil rather than reciprocate. We last had physical sex 3 yrs ago when I reminded her it had been 2 yrs since our previous tryst. She laughed at me at the time & I was genuinely hurt by that. Several weeks later she seduced me totally unexpectedly, but it was obvious to both of us it was done as a guilt trip more than anything.Now a further 3 yrs down the track I find myself becoming bitter & angry at her dismissive attitude. Around 9 months ago she had a coughing fit that unfortunately resulted in a prolapsed bladder which she is waiting to have surgery on (hopefully soon). I suggested maybe we could engage in some mutual non-penetrative activity but she blankly refused. This medical condition has now become the excuse she needs to justify her position, even though the rot had set in 5 yrs earlier.I'm sorry for the long winded post but I'm at my wits end. I'm even considering visiting a sex worker or finding a casual hookup, but I know this is only postponing the problem & I still love my wife despite all this & don't want a divorce although that is starting to look like the only final resolution.Hoping someone on here might have some similar experience & clear headed advice as my head is all over the place right now. Thanks for listening.Sad:-(

Guest_07328851 Is this a normal situation and what’s right?
  • replies: 3

During wedding planning, there is both a pre-wedding/layliyeh/kina and the wedding. Of course there will be gifts at these events and usually it’s money in an envelope. Story: One of the couples mothers requests that she collects and takes the envelo... View more

During wedding planning, there is both a pre-wedding/layliyeh/kina and the wedding. Of course there will be gifts at these events and usually it’s money in an envelope. Story: One of the couples mothers requests that she collects and takes the envelopes for BOTH events, so the NEXT day the bride, groom and herself go through the envelope so she can ascertain who paid what to return any favours and see family friends input. The bride AND the groom, say they should take the envelopes and go through it together, and make a list of the names and what they gifted and provide it to the mother so she knows. It was insisted there is no need for that, and that they can go through them together the next day or upon return from the honey moon. Is this a matter for the bride and groom? Or is it a normal and/or cultural thing for the mother to do and request this. Should the bride and groom accept this. Look forward to your answers.

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