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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Mychange Can my relationship heal after I was physically violent
  • replies: 1

Hi There, I was in relationship with an amazing woman for 3 years,during that time i was physically and emotionally abusive,we have been apart because of my abuse for over a year,but I am still in love with her,I have started to see counsellors and a... View more

Hi There, I was in relationship with an amazing woman for 3 years,during that time i was physically and emotionally abusive,we have been apart because of my abuse for over a year,but I am still in love with her,I have started to see counsellors and am learning the tools to deal with my anger and guilt and shame I have,was hoping to chat with other people who have been in a similar relationship to gain more knowledge and strategies to understand moving forward? Thanks

HGC Daughter growing up with emotionally volatile mother
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I posted a few times over the years. In short, my wife has is very emotionally volatile with extreme bursts of temper mingled with days or weeks of self-pity and depression. She has seen a psychologist previously, but I think they never reall... View more

Hi all, I posted a few times over the years. In short, my wife has is very emotionally volatile with extreme bursts of temper mingled with days or weeks of self-pity and depression. She has seen a psychologist previously, but I think they never really got to the point of discussing the true root causes of her anxiety. She stopped going and continues to deflect all of the issues with her anxiety to other people's actions. I've resolved I can't really help until she admits some level of fault. Now we have a tween-age daughter, and she isn't coping well at all. I have developed resilience and strategies to deal with the chaos, but my daughter hasn't. Every single day there's a giant argument about something, usually completely ridiculous things like "why didn't you wash this cup? You have no respect for anybody!!" and so on. Plus, also saying things like "She won't listen to me because you taught her to disrespect me". My wife is a well-intentioned person, but she's also completed unhinged. I am firm but fair (I think) with my daughter and can negotiate better outcomes with her. But I am not happy, and the constant conflict is depleting. I'm sure lots of others are or have been in this scenario, what did you do? Thanks for any advice.

AAAAAAA I dont know what to do
  • replies: 1

I'm a 16 year old male, in year 10. I gave up on dating due to some sexuality issues and being led on, etc... And it drove me into a deep state of depression and worthlessness. I spoke to the counsellors in my school but I don't find it much help. Th... View more

I'm a 16 year old male, in year 10. I gave up on dating due to some sexuality issues and being led on, etc... And it drove me into a deep state of depression and worthlessness. I spoke to the counsellors in my school but I don't find it much help. There was this girl I had known for about 6 years, pretty, a little younger than me but I knew her well. After talking a bit, I noticed a bit of a romantic undercurrent and I expressed how I didn't want to get into another relationship, but I felt pushed to go into the relationship, and I did. It was beautiful and she was unusually nice to me, I understand that's a given in a relationship but it was unusual because she was a bit strange before that, in a way of like she wasn't a crazy nice person. Cue a few days ago, it was movie night at the school. I was waiting in line for food and there were a bunch of mixed-up details, but she ended up getting mad at me and didn't end up talking to me for a while during that night. I took her aside and asked what was wrong and she just blew up and said how I didn't want to talk to her. After me trying to passively resolve it, I told her essentially, since I've been so hurt in the past, that we either think about how she can get less mad about little things, or it wont work out, because I didn't want either of us to be hurt. She ended up taking it like I was breaking up, so she screenshotted every text I've ever sent and twisted the words to her friends, so now the whole of her grade (year 9) hates me. I felt so powerless. I tried my best to protect us, yet I knew she was gonna get mad. There was this other girl, I didn't like her in any romantic way, but she was a friend, and she helped me understand her point of view and also helped me through some of my suicidal episodes. This girl, and my now 'ex' were kind of enemies, and my ex would always call them not nice and I should stop talking to them. I however, didn't because I knew I and her didn't like each other in that way, and she helped. I take accountability for not immediately blocking her if that's what she wanted. Fast forward to today, they decided to exchange the messages I sent to both of them, and my ex misinterpreted them and went psyhco, blocking me on everything and making sure I was talked really badly about. And this girl I was friends with, she blocked me too, I don't know why. She just said I cant be friends and there is no other way around it, yet I attempted to the night before and shed rather make sure my ex (whom she hates), is not crying? Whether I deserve it or not, its taking a deeper and deeper toll on my mental health and I don't want to be here, any advice?

Guest_65665275 Estranged from adult daughter
  • replies: 1

Back in August 2024, I was overseas and I was sideswiped by my daughter estranging from me. She did this via fb messenger. I was bewildered, extremely sad, confused as to why until just recently my ex husband explained that it was because she has fel... View more

Back in August 2024, I was overseas and I was sideswiped by my daughter estranging from me. She did this via fb messenger. I was bewildered, extremely sad, confused as to why until just recently my ex husband explained that it was because she has felt abandoned and neglected.I have respected her no contact stipulations except for sending her a birthday card in February 2025. I have heard nothing from her since. My ex husband told me about her getting engaged and that broke me again. My mum told me about her buying a house - broken again.I need some support in navigating the cruelty and emotions that this estrangement has caused me.And how to move forward; knowing that there will be a wedding I won’t be invited to, possible grandchildren and possibly never seeing my beautiful daughter again.

rai My dad doesn't want to be involved in my life anymore
  • replies: 2

I'm 14 and earlier this week my parents made it official that they are splitting up. I already knew this was coming as my mum had spoken about it and my parents couldn't really have a conversation without arguing. It is a long story but today we had ... View more

I'm 14 and earlier this week my parents made it official that they are splitting up. I already knew this was coming as my mum had spoken about it and my parents couldn't really have a conversation without arguing. It is a long story but today we had another family discussion and my dad clearly does not want to leave my mum. He wants to stay together and he asked me a question. "Would you rather our family stick it out together or me and your mum go our separate ways and our family is destroyed?" I hate that he asked me this because I don't want to make any decision on this but I responded and said "Yes obviously it would be nice if you guys could stay together but honestly I just want you guys to be happy, and if that means you guys separate well then that's what I want." He said that I am just on my mums side and am not sticking up for our family, but how am I- 'the child' supposed to decide what's right?? My dad wants to stay and my mum wants to go so all I want is for them to be happy and that's the truth. Well I was getting upset hearing him getting mad at me for my answer because I'm not supporting him and I really just felt like crying. So I went to my bedroom and was trying to distract myself from everything going on when he came in my room after him and my mum finished their conversation and he said that he doesn't want my opinion on anything and doesn't want to communicate with me either. He said that I don't care about him even though I was crying because I care for him the other day and he basically stated that he doesn't want to be involved with me and doesn't even want me to visit him after the separation. He keeps on trying to manipulate me even though I want to be there for him and live with him to care for him because he is sick. He left my room and kept on talking to my younger sister (11 years old) saying that he loves her and was thanking her for looking after him. I'm so sad, I thought I was a good daughter, I never thought he'd leave me. I still love him and forgive him but this is so unfair. I deserve a dad too

Guest_46269421 I feel like I've never been anything to anyone but disposable.
  • replies: 3

Does anyone else feel like they have never had even one single person that couldn't stand the thought of not having you in their lives? I grew up the troublesome child from an earlier relationship made fully aware she ruined her family's perfect imag... View more

Does anyone else feel like they have never had even one single person that couldn't stand the thought of not having you in their lives? I grew up the troublesome child from an earlier relationship made fully aware she ruined her family's perfect image leaving me to essentially raise myself. Which is something I've learnt to be grateful for because it made me strong and I do allow myself to be proud that I'm independent and don't have to rely on anyone. But its also a painful way to be. Every relationship I've ever been in I've been cheated on. Which hurts but its hurts more knowing that the fact of knowing what they were doing behind my back would hurt me and they could lose me didnt bother them one bit. Thats what cuts. And every friendship only ever seems to last aslong as I keep my mouth shut if I disagree with anything they say/do and I remain useful to them. No one seems to care wether I'm in their lives or not. No one ever cares about how i feel or me ever. And I'm not a bad person. I do everything I can for others, I foster animals, I give to people in need, I sacrifice for others without hesitation, I'm empathetic and always put others first and make sure to always use my manners and be considerate of others no matter what and I don't judge anyone or treat anyone inferior ever. I do everything I can to be whatever people need me to be because I don't ever want to make anyone hurt like I do or feel how I feel and helping people and making people happy is the only way I feel any warmth in life. So why am I constantly just discarded or wronged. I don't ask for people to treat me a certain way or like I'm special. I just don't understand why I can't find just one person that wants me to stay in their life no matter what. I know I'm the common demonimator in every friendship, relationship or family interaction. I know the chances of the problem being them and not me is illogical and unlikely. But I don't know what else to change. How else to act to be able to just not be abandoned or rejected. I give everything I can to people. And i just get left behind every time or even have them turn against me. I don't know why I don't know what im doing wrong. Am I just worthless. And have to accept that. Because people say you have to love yourself first but how can you do that when you have never seen anyone truly love you. I dont know how to love myself. I know how to love. But not myself. So how can I do that. All I know is the cruel things I've had drilled into me, or being discarded without hesitation. Are some people just nothing to everyone and that's just that. I feel like to not be hurt I have to accept I'm worthless.

Guest_59771524 Teenage daughter lies and manipulates
  • replies: 1

Is anyone else having trouble with their 16 yr old daughter who seems to make up lies and manipulate constantly, to the point where it is dangerous and can get people in trouble. It all starts on that stupid phone with social media and then turns int... View more

Is anyone else having trouble with their 16 yr old daughter who seems to make up lies and manipulate constantly, to the point where it is dangerous and can get people in trouble. It all starts on that stupid phone with social media and then turns into real life issues. She has been medicated the past 3 yrs for ADHD, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION but to be honest I am starting to go down the path of thinking is narcissism as she ticks all the boxes for narcissistic personality disorder. Any help, advise or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Von is lost Jealous of boyfriends ex
  • replies: 3

I am feeling very jealous of my boyfriend’s past relationship of 5 years. I am jealous of all the things they did together, and I’m also jealous that they still catch up every so often when they are in the same town. I understand that they were toget... View more

I am feeling very jealous of my boyfriend’s past relationship of 5 years. I am jealous of all the things they did together, and I’m also jealous that they still catch up every so often when they are in the same town. I understand that they were together for 5 years but I also can’t see the point of staying friends with an ex. I also find myself asking him more and more about her to investigate and obtain details about her which just ends up making me feel worse for knowing more. I don’t want to feel like this everytime she comes up in conversation but I don’t know how to stop.

Softly Estrangement from my Adult son and wife
  • replies: 3

I have not been in touch with my son or his wife (my daughter in law) since late October 2024, I have never (from my memory) had a bad word between my son and myself, he is now late 50's. It is beyond my comprehension as to why this has occurred now,... View more

I have not been in touch with my son or his wife (my daughter in law) since late October 2024, I have never (from my memory) had a bad word between my son and myself, he is now late 50's. It is beyond my comprehension as to why this has occurred now, we had difficulty with texts and emails regarding a property I rent from him and I have tried 4 times to get him to reply on a personal level since then, but to no avail, we were extremely close and he would ring me every week for a chat, but then my daughter in law became involved in this problem because she handles most of the paperwork and organises his life pretty much, they have 4 children one who is now 19, I have always been on good terms with them, and remember their birthdays and Christmas, because they live interstate. Now for some reason my eldest Grandaughter has ignored my texts and calls (2) so I sent a photo of my Artwork she is a natural from when she was very small, this has also been ignored. How can this be over one small thing and now they are not talking which makes it difficult for me to understand the reason why? I have had to second guess as to the actual problem, or what I did that could be so bad as to cut me off, is this a natural way to resolve something? for me its much better if we talk personally or email personally so we can get together again, any suggestions of how to get them to come to the table and fix it would be appreciated.

Guest_15763780 Very confused!
  • replies: 1

Hi All,My husband and I started caring for my father in laws medical and financial matters 6 months ago. We have a POA in place and everything has been going well. I keep meticulous records of income and expenses so there is never any confusion. Rece... View more

Hi All,My husband and I started caring for my father in laws medical and financial matters 6 months ago. We have a POA in place and everything has been going well. I keep meticulous records of income and expenses so there is never any confusion. Recently the rest of the family requested evidence of everything and want to go through the books. I am okay with this, as I said, everything is above board and I would never rip anyone off. However, this has highlighted a mistrust amongst the family and they have very much started attacking my character and who I am as a person (the way they say things and mannerisms). I have been with my husband for 18 years so this really hurts my heart. I have never done anything to misguide their trust, always stick my neck out for them and would do absolutely anything for them - as family's do, right? I expressed my anxiety and sadness to my husband about this and are now second guessing everything I have managed for my father in law. I have never felt good enough for my husband's family and they only really contact us when they need something however when I told my husband how I felt, his reaction shattered my heart - he laughed. This has now exploded in a big argument and now I am second guessing my marriage. This is out of character for my husband and he did apologise however this is someone I have been with for 18 years, how can he be so insensitive to my feelings? I feel alone. Like no-one understands me and that I am not good enough for my husband or his family. My typical response in fight/flight is flight. So my brain has me hypothetically heading for divorce, rather dramatic I know. But this has now raised some other serious concerns in our marriage, especially around sacrifices we have both made and communication style. We had a little hiccup a few years back and we adopted a very open communication style to get us through it. From my perspective I have honoured that communication style but it seems as though my husband is holding stuff back again. We only ever hear from his family when they want something. We are excluded from family day outs, dinners are always scheduled when we are working and we only get a call when sh*t has hit the fan or they need something from us - money, help with something, babysitting etc. We moved to be closer to them and we have been here for 18 months now - they have not visited or even ask where we live. I have given them our address a number of times too! HELP! Regards, Little_Monkey