(for context, please read the other forums I’ve posted about my dad so
maybe you can understand my feelings). I’ve just recently graduated high
school and I’m incredibly burnt out. I put my all into year 12, as I owe
it to my mum to get a good ATAR. ...
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(for context, please read the other forums I’ve posted about my dad so
maybe you can understand my feelings). I’ve just recently graduated high
school and I’m incredibly burnt out. I put my all into year 12, as I owe
it to my mum to get a good ATAR. I’m tired. So incredibly tired that I
just want to rest. Unfortunately, I pushed back my entire life for year
12, like exercising and getting my P’s. Ever since school ended, I’ve
been staying up late and waking up late. I don’t do much throughout day.
I have applied and gotten a waitressing job, which I believe might set
me back up into starting my life again. I just want to provide context
before I get into why I’m so angry. Around 9:20 this morning, my sister
bursts into my room and tells me to wake up without explaining why. I’m
too groggy, so I fall back asleep. I walk up at 12pm, go downstairs to
have breakfast, and my mum tells me my dad was locked out of the house
for 20 minutes because me and my sister were dead asleep whilst he was
outside. She told me that he yelled at her and my sister for a long time
because of it. She told me that from now on, I have to wake up at 7
everyday and pray. I’ve never been interested in my families religion
but if I tell them that, I’ll likely be kicked out. So I said okay.
Later today, my family went walking but I didn’t feel like it so I
stayed behind. Throughout the whole walk, my sister told me that dad was
calling her fat the entire time and told her she needed to walk more,
and told her that he wants her to tell me that I have to wake up early,
pray, and go walking everyday or he’s gonna beat me up. my gripe is
this, I’ve been busting my ass this whole year, put my life on pause to
get the ATAR he wants me to have, and I’m burnt out. I understand that
he thinks I’m throwing my life away but IM TIRED. It’s been less than a
month since I’ve graduated so I think I deserve to sleep in a little and
be a bit lazy before I start working and getting my p’s. All of this,
because he was locked out of his own house. Does he not have a key? I
don’t understand why he feels the need to threaten me to get my life
together when he’s a hypocrite. He doesn’t even go to work anymore. He
wants to be a “singer”. He gets people to work for him, and he splits
his pay with them so we get the bare minimum. My mum doesn’t work. We
rely solely on him for an income. And he fights with my mum saying she
spends too much money, when all she does spend money on is groceries and
the gifts she got for my birthday and graduation gifts. Yet he spends
THOUSANDS of dollars on dumborah’s (a kind of guitar in my culture) to
fuel his non-existent singing career instead of working for his family.
I understand having dreams and passions, but he has a family he needs to
work for. He can begin this singing career of his after his kids have
full time jobs and has a down payment for retirement. He has the
AUDACITY to fear monger me to get my life together not even a month
after I graduate highschool (to which he never congratulated me, never
attended the graduation dinner or events) when he’s throwing not only
his life away, but making our family scrape by for a dream that’s likely
not going to happen? Not to mention my sister didn’t deserve to be
called fat and worthless that entire walk just because we didn’t open
the door for him for 20 minutes. He sure is one idiot to talk. I realise
I sound dramatic but I’ve had enough of him. I will get my life together
at my own pace, after I sacrificed my mental, and physical health to get
him the atar results that he wants.