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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Bailey13 Wanting to hear from survivors of infidelity
  • replies: 22

Hi, I have been on the receiving end of a cheating husband (married 10 years, 2 kids). I know the majority will say reconciling will never work but I'm not ready to write it all off. I'd love to hear from anyone who has stayed in their relationship a... View more

Hi, I have been on the receiving end of a cheating husband (married 10 years, 2 kids). I know the majority will say reconciling will never work but I'm not ready to write it all off. I'd love to hear from anyone who has stayed in their relationship after being cheated on and how they are coping or managed to find peace, if that's even possible. My husband is very determined to rebuild or marriage. I sway day to day from feeling positive to not comprehending how it could possibly work. I'm feeling really stuck and scared of making everything worse either which way I turn. I don't want to fully invest myself back into our relationship unless i can cope with the lies and infidelity creeping up on me all the time. I trust that he loves me and would never do it again, but i don't trust myself to be able to get over it enough to not allow my hurt and sadness to interfere with our marriage. Anyone been or in a similar situation with some advice for me?

katedicko family member with vertigo
  • replies: 2

My brother has had vertigo for almost 10 years now and has spent most of this time inside of his room. I didn't believe it was a real illness until the middle of last year when I was concussed and suffered a 6 month stint of vertigo dizziness myself.... View more

My brother has had vertigo for almost 10 years now and has spent most of this time inside of his room. I didn't believe it was a real illness until the middle of last year when I was concussed and suffered a 6 month stint of vertigo dizziness myself. It was at this point that I was able to understand what my brother must go through. I went to see GP's most weeks, I had CT scans, MRI scans + blood tests and skin scrapings but no-one knew what was wrong with me. I was recommended a neuro-physio and since her training, I have been able to train my brain to balance again and I have been able to reconnect with the outside world again. I suggested it to my brother to try it out and I was surprised that he shut me down straight away. I keep suggesting it to him but he won't take my advice. My parents take care of him at the moment but we lost two of our sisters to diseases when we were really young. Seeing how much it stressed my parents to care for them was truely heartbreaking, I feel like it is happening all over again with my brother. The more it upsets me, the more I push my brother to try to find a cure but it leaves me so disappointed and resentful when he doesn't listen to me. I know he is struggling and he tells me he needs me to message him more but how can I support him when he isn't trying? The conversations that I have with him are always on his terms of topics, he expresses his problems with females and the trans community and it depresses me to hear only the negative things come out of his mouth, never positive. I don't know how to be strong enough to support someone who brings me down so much. I don't know how to not react. At what point do I have to step away, and what does that say about me.. someone who advocates for mental health and tries to support other people but I can't even support my own brother.

Steve84 I don't know how to deal with separation anxiety
  • replies: 2

My wife has started to make friends and leave me home. I don't have any other friends. I get so anxious without her. It sounds sad, but I have always sacrificed everything to look after her, but now she is improving from her own mental health issues ... View more

My wife has started to make friends and leave me home. I don't have any other friends. I get so anxious without her. It sounds sad, but I have always sacrificed everything to look after her, but now she is improving from her own mental health issues and I'm being left behind. I don't know where to start

Tasa83 How to make friends in your 30’s w. BP
  • replies: 10

This is a question not a statement. I’ve always struggled to make friends and keep them and I have trouble trusting people and people of always bailed so now I just expect that everyone is gonna bail so I stand back a little bit or I get so excited a... View more

This is a question not a statement. I’ve always struggled to make friends and keep them and I have trouble trusting people and people of always bailed so now I just expect that everyone is gonna bail so I stand back a little bit or I get so excited about having a new friend that I’m too full on and scare them away. I know I need friends; it’s important to have people in your life that will be there for you when times are really hard and will be there for you in times when you need a good laugh, but in your 30s when you’re not working and you have a mental illness like bipolar, it makes things a little bit trickier there is no tinder for friends that I know of so how do you make friends in your 30s when you have bipolar? thoughts? my blog quote today was “I feel lik my whole life I have been waiting for someone to find me”

trappedinqld Dwindling relationship
  • replies: 2

My relationship with my partner is dwindling down to nothing. I have tried everything but I just can't shake the thoughts of leaving no matter what I try. She is not interested in couples counseling when I suggested it. We have 3 kids, two of them ar... View more

My relationship with my partner is dwindling down to nothing. I have tried everything but I just can't shake the thoughts of leaving no matter what I try. She is not interested in couples counseling when I suggested it. We have 3 kids, two of them are under 4 and they are what is keeping me inside this relationship. I can't bear the thought of not seeing them every day and being there to love and support them. Whenever we have discussed splitting up, my partner gets hysterical and starts to get quite irrational. Saying things like I won't get to see the kids etc. etc. My mental health is suffering big time and I just can't see the light in this relationship besides being there together for our kids. Can someone please give me some advice if they have been in a similar situation or what my rights would be in terms of the kids if my partner refuses to have good communication and understanding with me if we do break up. I am just so worried that I will not be in my kids' lives on a regular basis. Like at least a 50/50 split. It breaks my heart to think about leaving because I feel like my reasons are not good enough to cause this pain and disruption in my kids' lives as they have not asked for this and do not deserve this.

Flippy Depressed not having another kid
  • replies: 1

My partner and I have been together for over a decade, we have one young child together and live a pretty lovely life. Our child is the light of our lives, but I've wanted another for some time now (couple of years), but my partner does not. I found ... View more

My partner and I have been together for over a decade, we have one young child together and live a pretty lovely life. Our child is the light of our lives, but I've wanted another for some time now (couple of years), but my partner does not. I found that when our child was 1 and I realised that I wanted another, I slipped into depression over the fact they weren't interested, it took me 18 months on a self journey to find peace in one child, but a recent event of an unwell family member has made me realise just how much I want a second, and I feel myself slipping back into that obsessive state. Partner is not interested in counselling, but I am looking into it for myself.I've discussed this at length with my partner, and the reasoning is always the same. Don't get me wrong, I fully hear what they have to say, and I acknowledge and even agree that yes, things are a bit tight, physical family support is non existent and we would be starting again. Our kid is in school, they're happy, healthy and lovely to be around. We aren't old, but I am knocking on the 'geriatric' door if we were to have another. I don't know how to move past this. All my friends have 2+ kids, and I'm so happy for them, but it's just a slap in the face reminder every, single, day. How do I move past this? I love our triangle family, and I know having one means we could give our kid the entire world with no hesitations, but that pull for a second is deep.

DisappearMe Part time depression?
  • replies: 1

I am separated with two kids (9 - ADHD and 7 - Autism and ADHD) and have 50/50 custody. The week I have the kids is filled with non-stop fighting, them disrespecting me and each other, and me wishing I could disappear. I can't stand being around them... View more

I am separated with two kids (9 - ADHD and 7 - Autism and ADHD) and have 50/50 custody. The week I have the kids is filled with non-stop fighting, them disrespecting me and each other, and me wishing I could disappear. I can't stand being around them and find myself disengaging (sleeping late, not wanting to play with them) and generally hating my life. We are going through various options to try to get help for their behavioural issues but nothing has changed yet. My ex and I are on OK terms but I find him unhelpful in discussing the issues I have. He says they aren't as bad for him. Today I got caught in the cross fire of my kids throwing things at each other and ended up at the hospital with an injury. No one knows how bad it is with them, they can be rude and badly behaved around others but nothing like what I see daily when they are with me. When I am with my kids I feel like I meet all the criteria for depression and in the days before they come to me I feel anxious as I know what it will be like. Then, as soon as my week is up I feel fine again - happy, optimistic, and calm. I can't live like this and the thought of another 10+ years of this is unbearable, especially as the kids are getting bigger and stronger and more dangerous to each other and me. I don't know what to do.

Alice5 Overheard my Dad voice-phone google “Men looking for Men to have sex with”
  • replies: 6

last night I was on my couch and my dad was outside however he didn’t know the window was open and he said Into his google “men looking for men to have sex with” I was in so much shock as I’ve never ever had any thoughts that he might be bi-sexual or... View more

last night I was on my couch and my dad was outside however he didn’t know the window was open and he said Into his google “men looking for men to have sex with” I was in so much shock as I’ve never ever had any thoughts that he might be bi-sexual or gay. He has been married but seperated last year after 15 years, he’s been noticeably reclusive recently and not his usual self. The last few weeks he has been sick with various symptoms that I know realise sound like an STD, and possibly HIV. I feel a huge amount of anxiety to bring this up with anyone behind his back but feel so uncomfortable talking to him about this. I worry that he’s not mentioning gay sex to his doctor and feel like if he’s contracted something, I should suggest a blood test, so confused and stressed.

jono_3175 Anxiety, addiction, poor decisions
  • replies: 4

I’m 32, living with anxiety and alcohol dependency which lead to me making poor choices which affect my relationship with my family espically my son and partner. I just can’t seem to make my family happy and only comfort I get is after afew drinks. I... View more

I’m 32, living with anxiety and alcohol dependency which lead to me making poor choices which affect my relationship with my family espically my son and partner. I just can’t seem to make my family happy and only comfort I get is after afew drinks. I drink everyday and I feel it’s weighing on me feeling more anxiety and not wanting to socialize with anyone, or do the usual things I do. I don’t know what to do, my willpower is zero and I cave in all the time. Anyone else feel similar? My selfish ways of addiction impacting family relationships?

Carole T Estranged parent South Australia
  • replies: 1

Hi there I have been estranged from my youngest son for 5 years now since he met an international student, married and even though we invited her warmly into our home and family, she continued to manipulate him away from all of his family and friends... View more

Hi there I have been estranged from my youngest son for 5 years now since he met an international student, married and even though we invited her warmly into our home and family, she continued to manipulate him away from all of his family and friends. She has been both physically and mentally abusive. I have tried joining many groups but they are mainly in America.