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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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ganey Moving on after six years
  • replies: 2

I (29F) got married not because I was in love but thinking he is a good man and will take care of me and respect my family as his own. Before my husband i was in a relationship with my ex for six years. it was a serious relationship but my parents es... View more

I (29F) got married not because I was in love but thinking he is a good man and will take care of me and respect my family as his own. Before my husband i was in a relationship with my ex for six years. it was a serious relationship but my parents especially my dad was so against it i had to end it. When i approached my dad saying that i loved that man he got so angry and said "if i see this man i am gonna punch him so hard". These were the exact words that came of of his mouth. i was heartbroken, i could never share this to my ex. As much as i loved my ex I just felt i had to end the relationship because my family was my first priority. i just stopped thinking about every thing. my future, my career just to escape the feeling of heart break. it was as if i was just living , life will take me wherever it wants. it was around the same time when I was approached by my now husband and only a a week later we started seeing each other. For the first few months i used to think "i dont know this person (my husband)" why am i with him. He was a gentleman he respected me and my family, my dad liked him so we shortly got married after 6 months of seeing each other. My husband used to be very possesive back then. i disconnected with all my male friends after marriage. we did fight and everytime i showed how angry i was with how things were, he would be even angrier. and once he got angry he would go mad. he is still the same till this day. i feel like i have suppressed my feelings and myself in a way that does not make him angry. i am six years younger than him and i have things that i want to do but just have to keep it to myself because he thinks its childish. I love going to hiking and swimming, but i haven't done so in these six years because he doesn't want to or he has not interest in it. I used to be very socially active and had many friends but now i dont have any. I used to be so independent before, i worked two jobs, made decisions on my own but now I have become to indecisive and lost my confidence. I just want to be free like before. Recently i got the news my ex got married. I am very happy for him honestly. he found new love and moved on, not like me who ran away. my ex getting married was liberating for me. the feeling of guilt got away from me. suddenly my brain started thinking again, its thinking what my life would be if i was with my ex and its making me crazy. I feel so bad towards my husband and angry of how I have ended up becoming after marriage.

Guest_94500681 What to do when a friend doesn't message back as often
  • replies: 1

So, I've had this friend for about 2 years now and always have a great time talking to them. Recently, she moved to the other side of the city, about an hour drive, and it's made seeing her difficult as we don't share days off work. We still message ... View more

So, I've had this friend for about 2 years now and always have a great time talking to them. Recently, she moved to the other side of the city, about an hour drive, and it's made seeing her difficult as we don't share days off work. We still message every day and organise to hang out whenever we take time off work or if she's down to visit her grandparents, I'll sometimes get invited to come over and play games with them. When she lived close by we messeged constantly and got to see each other all the time, but since the move, she's gotten a boyfriend and barely manages to message me at all, with a full day being the longest I've gone without a reply. I know it could be longer, but it just feels like ages. To give an example of how it goes I'll message at 7am, she'll message back at 9pm that same day, then I'll respond a few minutes after and won't hear from her again until, like, 5pm the next day. I've spoken to her about how long it takes to reply and that It feels like I'm being forgotten and that she never has time to message back, despite being active on social media. She responded, saying that she knows she's gotten pretty bad at responding and is sorry that it keeps happening and does value our friendship, while also saying she'll work on it and try to respond more often. This lated for about a week, then she goes right back to messaging me days later. Now, I totally understand that she can be busy at work or might have something going on at home or is going through something she doesn't want to talk about. Those are totally valid reasons for taking a long time to respond. I just wanna know, what should I do?I've thought about not messaging back for a full day to see if she'll notice or telling her again how I'm feeling, but I also feel that she'll tell me she'll work on it and it only lasting for another week. I just feel like I'm a bad person who's pushing their friend to talk to them because they're lonely and impatient. She's a good friend and I genuinely do care about her, but I also understand that I have to respect whenever she chooses to messsage me back.

Isitme Overthinking is killing my relationship
  • replies: 4

I have a bf of nearly 12 months and we pretty much live together. But I am a chronic overthinker and it really gets to him and makes so much mess between us. I have childhood trauma and also trauma from a DV relationship. I get jealous when he does f... View more

I have a bf of nearly 12 months and we pretty much live together. But I am a chronic overthinker and it really gets to him and makes so much mess between us. I have childhood trauma and also trauma from a DV relationship. I get jealous when he does fun things with other people. I want to be with him all the time and his moods ect effect me. I am so over it. I am waiting for therapy but I need help. Has anyone got any strategies or ideas that could help me?

Mychange Can my relationship heal after I was physically violent
  • replies: 1

Hi There, I was in relationship with an amazing woman for 3 years,during that time i was physically and emotionally abusive,we have been apart because of my abuse for over a year,but I am still in love with her,I have started to see counsellors and a... View more

Hi There, I was in relationship with an amazing woman for 3 years,during that time i was physically and emotionally abusive,we have been apart because of my abuse for over a year,but I am still in love with her,I have started to see counsellors and am learning the tools to deal with my anger and guilt and shame I have,was hoping to chat with other people who have been in a similar relationship to gain more knowledge and strategies to understand moving forward? Thanks

HGC Daughter growing up with emotionally volatile mother
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I posted a few times over the years. In short, my wife has is very emotionally volatile with extreme bursts of temper mingled with days or weeks of self-pity and depression. She has seen a psychologist previously, but I think they never reall... View more

Hi all, I posted a few times over the years. In short, my wife has is very emotionally volatile with extreme bursts of temper mingled with days or weeks of self-pity and depression. She has seen a psychologist previously, but I think they never really got to the point of discussing the true root causes of her anxiety. She stopped going and continues to deflect all of the issues with her anxiety to other people's actions. I've resolved I can't really help until she admits some level of fault. Now we have a tween-age daughter, and she isn't coping well at all. I have developed resilience and strategies to deal with the chaos, but my daughter hasn't. Every single day there's a giant argument about something, usually completely ridiculous things like "why didn't you wash this cup? You have no respect for anybody!!" and so on. Plus, also saying things like "She won't listen to me because you taught her to disrespect me". My wife is a well-intentioned person, but she's also completed unhinged. I am firm but fair (I think) with my daughter and can negotiate better outcomes with her. But I am not happy, and the constant conflict is depleting. I'm sure lots of others are or have been in this scenario, what did you do? Thanks for any advice.

AAAAAAA I dont know what to do
  • replies: 1

I'm a 16 year old male, in year 10. I gave up on dating due to some sexuality issues and being led on, etc... And it drove me into a deep state of depression and worthlessness. I spoke to the counsellors in my school but I don't find it much help. Th... View more

I'm a 16 year old male, in year 10. I gave up on dating due to some sexuality issues and being led on, etc... And it drove me into a deep state of depression and worthlessness. I spoke to the counsellors in my school but I don't find it much help. There was this girl I had known for about 6 years, pretty, a little younger than me but I knew her well. After talking a bit, I noticed a bit of a romantic undercurrent and I expressed how I didn't want to get into another relationship, but I felt pushed to go into the relationship, and I did. It was beautiful and she was unusually nice to me, I understand that's a given in a relationship but it was unusual because she was a bit strange before that, in a way of like she wasn't a crazy nice person. Cue a few days ago, it was movie night at the school. I was waiting in line for food and there were a bunch of mixed-up details, but she ended up getting mad at me and didn't end up talking to me for a while during that night. I took her aside and asked what was wrong and she just blew up and said how I didn't want to talk to her. After me trying to passively resolve it, I told her essentially, since I've been so hurt in the past, that we either think about how she can get less mad about little things, or it wont work out, because I didn't want either of us to be hurt. She ended up taking it like I was breaking up, so she screenshotted every text I've ever sent and twisted the words to her friends, so now the whole of her grade (year 9) hates me. I felt so powerless. I tried my best to protect us, yet I knew she was gonna get mad. There was this other girl, I didn't like her in any romantic way, but she was a friend, and she helped me understand her point of view and also helped me through some of my suicidal episodes. This girl, and my now 'ex' were kind of enemies, and my ex would always call them not nice and I should stop talking to them. I however, didn't because I knew I and her didn't like each other in that way, and she helped. I take accountability for not immediately blocking her if that's what she wanted. Fast forward to today, they decided to exchange the messages I sent to both of them, and my ex misinterpreted them and went psyhco, blocking me on everything and making sure I was talked really badly about. And this girl I was friends with, she blocked me too, I don't know why. She just said I cant be friends and there is no other way around it, yet I attempted to the night before and shed rather make sure my ex (whom she hates), is not crying? Whether I deserve it or not, its taking a deeper and deeper toll on my mental health and I don't want to be here, any advice?

Guest_65665275 Estranged from adult daughter
  • replies: 1

Back in August 2024, I was overseas and I was sideswiped by my daughter estranging from me. She did this via fb messenger. I was bewildered, extremely sad, confused as to why until just recently my ex husband explained that it was because she has fel... View more

Back in August 2024, I was overseas and I was sideswiped by my daughter estranging from me. She did this via fb messenger. I was bewildered, extremely sad, confused as to why until just recently my ex husband explained that it was because she has felt abandoned and neglected.I have respected her no contact stipulations except for sending her a birthday card in February 2025. I have heard nothing from her since. My ex husband told me about her getting engaged and that broke me again. My mum told me about her buying a house - broken again.I need some support in navigating the cruelty and emotions that this estrangement has caused me.And how to move forward; knowing that there will be a wedding I won’t be invited to, possible grandchildren and possibly never seeing my beautiful daughter again.

rai My dad doesn't want to be involved in my life anymore
  • replies: 2

I'm 14 and earlier this week my parents made it official that they are splitting up. I already knew this was coming as my mum had spoken about it and my parents couldn't really have a conversation without arguing. It is a long story but today we had ... View more

I'm 14 and earlier this week my parents made it official that they are splitting up. I already knew this was coming as my mum had spoken about it and my parents couldn't really have a conversation without arguing. It is a long story but today we had another family discussion and my dad clearly does not want to leave my mum. He wants to stay together and he asked me a question. "Would you rather our family stick it out together or me and your mum go our separate ways and our family is destroyed?" I hate that he asked me this because I don't want to make any decision on this but I responded and said "Yes obviously it would be nice if you guys could stay together but honestly I just want you guys to be happy, and if that means you guys separate well then that's what I want." He said that I am just on my mums side and am not sticking up for our family, but how am I- 'the child' supposed to decide what's right?? My dad wants to stay and my mum wants to go so all I want is for them to be happy and that's the truth. Well I was getting upset hearing him getting mad at me for my answer because I'm not supporting him and I really just felt like crying. So I went to my bedroom and was trying to distract myself from everything going on when he came in my room after him and my mum finished their conversation and he said that he doesn't want my opinion on anything and doesn't want to communicate with me either. He said that I don't care about him even though I was crying because I care for him the other day and he basically stated that he doesn't want to be involved with me and doesn't even want me to visit him after the separation. He keeps on trying to manipulate me even though I want to be there for him and live with him to care for him because he is sick. He left my room and kept on talking to my younger sister (11 years old) saying that he loves her and was thanking her for looking after him. I'm so sad, I thought I was a good daughter, I never thought he'd leave me. I still love him and forgive him but this is so unfair. I deserve a dad too

Guest_46269421 I feel like I've never been anything to anyone but disposable.
  • replies: 3

Does anyone else feel like they have never had even one single person that couldn't stand the thought of not having you in their lives? I grew up the troublesome child from an earlier relationship made fully aware she ruined her family's perfect imag... View more

Does anyone else feel like they have never had even one single person that couldn't stand the thought of not having you in their lives? I grew up the troublesome child from an earlier relationship made fully aware she ruined her family's perfect image leaving me to essentially raise myself. Which is something I've learnt to be grateful for because it made me strong and I do allow myself to be proud that I'm independent and don't have to rely on anyone. But its also a painful way to be. Every relationship I've ever been in I've been cheated on. Which hurts but its hurts more knowing that the fact of knowing what they were doing behind my back would hurt me and they could lose me didnt bother them one bit. Thats what cuts. And every friendship only ever seems to last aslong as I keep my mouth shut if I disagree with anything they say/do and I remain useful to them. No one seems to care wether I'm in their lives or not. No one ever cares about how i feel or me ever. And I'm not a bad person. I do everything I can for others, I foster animals, I give to people in need, I sacrifice for others without hesitation, I'm empathetic and always put others first and make sure to always use my manners and be considerate of others no matter what and I don't judge anyone or treat anyone inferior ever. I do everything I can to be whatever people need me to be because I don't ever want to make anyone hurt like I do or feel how I feel and helping people and making people happy is the only way I feel any warmth in life. So why am I constantly just discarded or wronged. I don't ask for people to treat me a certain way or like I'm special. I just don't understand why I can't find just one person that wants me to stay in their life no matter what. I know I'm the common demonimator in every friendship, relationship or family interaction. I know the chances of the problem being them and not me is illogical and unlikely. But I don't know what else to change. How else to act to be able to just not be abandoned or rejected. I give everything I can to people. And i just get left behind every time or even have them turn against me. I don't know why I don't know what im doing wrong. Am I just worthless. And have to accept that. Because people say you have to love yourself first but how can you do that when you have never seen anyone truly love you. I dont know how to love myself. I know how to love. But not myself. So how can I do that. All I know is the cruel things I've had drilled into me, or being discarded without hesitation. Are some people just nothing to everyone and that's just that. I feel like to not be hurt I have to accept I'm worthless.

Guest_59771524 Teenage daughter lies and manipulates
  • replies: 1

Is anyone else having trouble with their 16 yr old daughter who seems to make up lies and manipulate constantly, to the point where it is dangerous and can get people in trouble. It all starts on that stupid phone with social media and then turns int... View more

Is anyone else having trouble with their 16 yr old daughter who seems to make up lies and manipulate constantly, to the point where it is dangerous and can get people in trouble. It all starts on that stupid phone with social media and then turns into real life issues. She has been medicated the past 3 yrs for ADHD, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION but to be honest I am starting to go down the path of thinking is narcissism as she ticks all the boxes for narcissistic personality disorder. Any help, advise or guidance would be greatly appreciated.