Relationship and family issues

Sexless relationship

replies: 4

We’ve been together for almost 9 years. He’s never been sex driven and at some point I stop trying as the rejection kept hurting my self esteem. It’s been more than 3 years without sex now. I’ve tried to talk about it and find a way to help but he re... View more

We’ve been together for almost 9 years. He’s never been sex driven and at some point I stop trying as the rejection kept hurting my self esteem. It’s been more than 3 years without sex now. I’ve tried to talk about it and find a way to help but he refuses to talk, he probably feels embarrassed. I have not had much experience in sex and I’m not very active myself but I would like to at least have sex once a month. I do love my partner (now fiancé) and our relationship is great apart from having zero sex. I do not want to make a decision based just on sex as it’s not the most important aspect for me but I do feel like I’m missing that part in my life. I’ve never been unfaithful because I’m too loyal or perhaps hasn’t had the opportunity. Sometimes I wish to meet someone that makes me feel desired. I would like to connect with someone in the same situation

I don't know what to do about it

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I'm 12, in highschool and autistic. Same with my friend group. Yesterday two of my friends (Jacob and tanner) were fighting so I send them a long message and then left all group chats with them. This is the message: "And then you realise... View more

Hi everyone, I'm 12, in highschool and autistic. Same with my friend group. Yesterday two of my friends (Jacob and tanner) were fighting so I send them a long message and then left all group chats with them. This is the message: "And then you realise your lonely and Jacob was one of the only friends you had and regret it and become friends again. And then a month later you fight and this goes on forever and I always get caught in the middle as the therapist because I want to keep friends through high school and I fix your friendship with Jacob so often I'm ready to add it to my Callender to fix it. It honestly adds more to the weight I carry, trying to find a personality that everyone likes so that I can have friends and yk not be lonely and follow my high school plan that I made during the summer Hollidays this year. I am honestly getting tired of your stuff and I am honestly I am losing my give a stuffs and becoming someone I like but others don't know. Frick I don't even know what I like about myself anymore and honestly? I don't even know if anyone likes me so I'm always trying to read facial expressions but that's hard because I can't read people as easy as I read a book. So honestly? I might change everything about myself to be what I'm expected to be even though it'll depress me even more. You guys are best friends for 3 weeks and then it's a fight where you both come to me for advice and I honestly DONT GIVE A FRICKING STUFF ANYMORE." One of my other friends (still in primary school, doesn't know Jacob and tanner) replied with this when I sent her what I sent Jacob and tanner "Holy stuff, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself if it was that bad and you've been botteling it up for that long then it's time you snapped. You did the right thing" I'm sorry for wasting your time on my stupid friendship drama but I just needed to get this out. Sorry -Sky

Delicate Ego's

replies: 6

My family growing up my two brothers and Mother and I had low self esteem issues. When in my 30's I started the self help journey and thats how I found out about self esteem and thru that I was able to see this issue in others as well as myself. My d... View more

My family growing up my two brothers and Mother and I had low self esteem issues. When in my 30's I started the self help journey and thats how I found out about self esteem and thru that I was able to see this issue in others as well as myself. My dad and sister seemed to be immune from it.I learnt that people with low esteem were dangerous to me and i learnt to avoid.So I cannot believe I am once again at the mercy of a person whom has an ego and thru his ego building cuts me off invalidates me while I struggle to be a dinner guest at their house. I worked my guts out and suffered depression to get to this point in life. I am so angry that in his ego building was being a smart ass cutting me down is how I felt just to be the centre of attention again. I know the human psyche of an endangered ego and the lengths they will go to protecting it. The fact for me is he is an unhealthy toxic person for me to be around. My life has crashed as a result of this and Im angry this has been bought to me. There is no way the ego could accept my truth on him. Im angry while they lay around in luxury in their waterfrontage Sydney apartment at circular quay drinking coffee while I live in unhealthy scary dirty boarding room with people trying to break in. The worst thing is they have been helpful to me thru my depression and his wife who really is my friend is not going to take the news well by me saying Im never going to set foot in your apartment again.My attitude is this..... How dare you make me feel bad at your dinner last weekend because I have scraped on my belly for years thru depression and homelessness to get to this point and you think your going to throw that crap on me.Im trying to honour myself for what I have been thru but nit sure if zIm being unfair or arrogant. The only thing I know I am not comfortable going back there for more of that and my friend Em is going to freak out if I ever say that to her. I known Em for 20 years now but my mental health must come first.Does anyone have insight of anything Im not seeing because Im so hurt and angry and feel my life us not being validated

Adult child is a sex offender

replies: 3

My son is the oldest of 6 kids. He has always been very independent and not listened to much advice over the years, believing his way is better. He has adhd and is a compulsive liar. His own dad has next to nothing to do with him. He moved out for th... View more

My son is the oldest of 6 kids. He has always been very independent and not listened to much advice over the years, believing his way is better. He has adhd and is a compulsive liar. His own dad has next to nothing to do with him. He moved out for the first time when he was 18. Came back and left a few times after that. During one of the times he was moved out, he met a girl and got her pregnant. The mother has taken the baby away and we have no contact. He does it again. Falls for the wrong girl (nothing bad about her, just not right for each other), gets her pregnant and they break up. We also have zero contact with this baby. Not knowing my grandbabies is hard enough but after recent discoveries, I don’t know if I have now lost my son as well. For about 6 months, he was staying with a family friend and her 2 teenage girls. I said numerous times that he needs to get a place with people his own age. I was told repeatedly that it was working having him there to help. He was 22 by this stage. Then he moves out and one of the teenage girls accuses my son of sexual assualt . I instantly had my son’s support. Surely he wouldn’t do something like that. She is the same age as his little sister! Then he gets refused bail. Yes, I know this should have been a huge red flag but I still had a sliver of hope that he didn’t do it. Last week I get a call from a parole officer, who was so so kind to me, who explained exactly what has been going on. He is guilty. He is on the child sex offenders registry. I broke down. I have 5 kids under 18 in my house. He can’t come here again. I somehow have to tell my kids that they can’t have contact with their big brother. I have to somehow tell a select few family members (like my parents). I have to somehow figure out how to still have a relationship with someone whose actions I wholeheartedly disagree with yet I still love. He is my son. My first born, the one who changed me. I don’t know what to do or what to think. I don’t know how to handle this or how to move forward. I can’t stop crying. I haven’t heard from him directly in 6 weeks now. He has sentencing coming up in a few weeks and I don’t know if I can/should go. But I also know that if I don’t go, chances are I won’t find out the truth.

Why does betrayal have me feeling grief and loss?

replies: 3

My partner of 5 years left after being confronted with his repeated infidelity. He has since ghosted me. No apology, no explanation. The grief is overwhelming. I feel empty and lost. At 50, I thought he was my forever. I supported him through his dep... View more

My partner of 5 years left after being confronted with his repeated infidelity. He has since ghosted me. No apology, no explanation. The grief is overwhelming. I feel empty and lost. At 50, I thought he was my forever. I supported him through his depression, addictions and repeated cheating. He went from a high functioning scientist with a prestigious career, to a sex, drug and alcohol addict. He withdrew from friends and family and abandoned his career. He wouldn’t accept help. Even though his lying, deceit and betrayal worsened, I stayed. I loved him despite the toxicity. So why am I struggling with his absence? I can’t eat, can’t sleep. I feel so alone. I am grappling with the dread and shame. I experienced long term domestic violence with both of my first two husbands, and now this. Is there something wrong with me? Am I just unlucky? Cursed? Too caring, too empathetic? It just feels like the end of the world.

Why can't my parents respect my decision to cut off my grandparents?

replies: 2

I am a 21-year-old F, and all my life, my grandparents on both sides of my family have made my life a living hell. For context, my parents have been together for 20 years, since I was born, the firstborn of three girls. Despite my utter hatred and in... View more

I am a 21-year-old F, and all my life, my grandparents on both sides of my family have made my life a living hell. For context, my parents have been together for 20 years, since I was born, the firstborn of three girls. Despite my utter hatred and inner turmoil I have over my grandparents, I love my parents completely; they are my world and understand me as no one else does. I often joke that my mum is my best friend, but I truly mean it. I've struggled with friendships in the past and still do, but my parents and siblings have been there for me no matter what and truly get me like no one ever has. I should also mention ive never had a boyfriend or even kissed a boy before, this seems unrelated but i promise you it is for later. As my mum often tells me, " this is why you dont have a boyfriend, because you cant even talk to your grandparents and treat them with respect." This honestly wrecked me far more than she knows, as not having a partner is a deep insecurity of mine. I made the decision to cut my grand parents off, from both my mothers and fathers side when I was 18, this isnt a decision i took lightly nor one i took in vain. It had been a gradual buildup of intense trauma and resentment over my entire childhood and teen life that led to this choice. I wish I could bring up specific memories that led to this choice, but due to the word limit and my brain not remembering or forcing myself to forget the trauma, I won't go into it. All you need to know is they are bad people from a different generation who have never taken the time to get to know me and expect the relationship to be completely one-sided. Even years after making this decision, I still have worries: " Did I make the right choice?" " Is this really for the best?" I cannot express how often I feel this, especially since all my University friends are close with their grandparents and constantly express how grateful they are to have them in their lives. I often lie when they are brought up in conversation, saying, " Oh yeah! I love them, they are so sweet." Just to brush it off - as it isn't worth going too into depth about it. Getting back on track now, my parents both wish I would talk with my grandparents more and hate my decision to cut them off. And by cutting them off, I mean not talking to them or seeing them ever again in my adult life, to me, they don't even exist - and I've made my peace with that. But they keep pushing me, and it's a constant argument with them; I just don't understand how I could make them see that what they are saying hurts me. I am an adult now and live on my own, provide my own income and sustain my lifestyle far away from my grandparents, so seeing them isn't a worry, only when we go on vacation. What im trying to get at here is, how do I tell my parents that I don't want to see my grandparents ever again? Without insulting their family or creating more arguments. I've probably left out some details, so feel free to ask in the comments, but im truly at an impasse here and feel lost like never before. Please, anything will help, Lord, help me.

Having trouble talking to my close sister

replies: 2

I’m very close to my sister almost like twins, and have also spoken to one another about everything. I have started to see someone I really like, we work together and we have been messaging one another, I didn’t tell my sister about my feelings and h... View more

I’m very close to my sister almost like twins, and have also spoken to one another about everything. I have started to see someone I really like, we work together and we have been messaging one another, I didn’t tell my sister about my feelings and have a hard time talking to her about him and what has been happening, we aren’t rushing in to anything as he has been in a relationship mid last year. I have really hurt her because she said I have lied to her and I have chosen him over her which I feel isn’t true. I have known him for over 10 years and looking back I think I have always had some kind of connection with him, I noticed last year more stronger feelings for him and didn’t say anything to him until end of march this year. He has been in a few relationships and even been married with grown kids. My sister is every worried that I will just cut myself off from family and friends to be with him, which I’m not and he hasn’t asked me to do that but every time she says something it’s “I’m only getting his side of everything, he can say what he wants to get you in, he always needs to be with someone, you don’t need saving” I just don’t know how to talk to her about it, I said that I hadn’t said anything because I was worried she would be judgemental and now she asks what else haven’t I told her about herself. The longer I don’t talk to her, the more I’m hurting her and that is the last thing I want to do. How do I explain things to her?

Unresolved Conflict

replies: 2

Hi. I'm new here and notably very nervous. Please be patient with me. My story spans years so Ill try to be brief as possible. I lived with my partner for 3 years before we tied the knot. We were very happy and contented, we were convinced we were so... View more

Hi. I'm new here and notably very nervous. Please be patient with me. My story spans years so Ill try to be brief as possible. I lived with my partner for 3 years before we tied the knot. We were very happy and contented, we were convinced we were soulmates. We both worked. 6 months after our marriage, he left his job to look for a better one. Then he started an affair with a woman 10 years older than him at work.This affair lasted 5 years without my knowledge. Well, he came home every night, was attentive to me, even our sex life was alive and constant throughout this period, so I didn't ever suspect that anything was wrong. He had various medical hospitalisations and I, as a devoted wife, loved him and looked after him, dutifully caring for him 24/7 when he needed me. When he came home from work, dinner is hot and ready. His sandwiches were home made because I loved doing it for him. I did everything to make his life easy. I was very much in love with my husband. We did all what happy couples do. Until we didn't. He was suddenly working a lot of weekends, staying up most nights on his computer. He started going for walks by himself. He became short-tempered. These behaviours crept up slowly over the years. But he always asked for intimacy all the time. He would get so angry if I wasn't feeling well and I'd beg off for a couple of days. One day while he was at work, I asked him if I could use his PC cos mine gave up the ghost. He didn't mind. That's when I found an old email address of him that he said hed discarded ages ago, in a small folder where the photos were. That's how I uncovered his entire sordid affair. 350 emails over 5 years complete with pictures. I read them all and cannot unsee them ever. We went to marriage counselling. He left his paramour. But everytime I asked him why, he kept on saying, he can't remember why. I started going downhill with depression. 3 years later, he was diagnosed with a terminal illness and 3 years further, he was in hospital with me as his carer till he lost the fight. I spent 2 years in bed with severe depression. I can't go on because I never understood why he went AWOL in our marriage. I've seen Psychologists...but nothing. I feel extremely lonely but afraid to trust again. They say men have affairs because they can, often without a reason. Really? I'm not young nor naive. For every action there is always a reaction. I didnt have clarity. What did I do wrong? I just don't know how to move on from here.

Wife struggeling to accept sexless marriage

replies: 9

Hi guys, I have been with my husband for over 20 years. We also have a 13 year age gap between us. My husband is at the stage of ED and we've known it for about 4 years now. We have tried alot of strategies to keep the sex life happy as I have a much... View more

Hi guys, I have been with my husband for over 20 years. We also have a 13 year age gap between us. My husband is at the stage of ED and we've known it for about 4 years now. We have tried alot of strategies to keep the sex life happy as I have a much higher libido. But the past few weeks it's been really tough. I have realised I am usually the one initiating sex 80% of the time. The last week or so I haven't initiated sex of any for of intimacy and I got nothing from him. I am feeling very emotional as we spoke about it last night and he's happy to be in a sexless marriage. I am not so happy about it. We've been through cheating( on both sides), gambling addiction and porn usage (on both sides), and now this. I have not been this upset and crying soo much since the last time we went through the cheating and porn saga. I am literally down. I have had my depression under control with hypnosis for the last 10 years. I am completely lost and sort of heart broken. I don't even want to sleep next to my husband tonight. I have not felt like this in a very long time. Just needed someone to listen and hear me out. Really needing a good ear at the moment.

Co-parenting an anxious child, with a difficult ex

replies: 1

My 10yo daughter is very anxious and has always been a 'big feelings' kid. She has recently changed schools, which has been really tough, and I can imagine that a lot of things in her life feel out of her control. So she has started having huge meltd... View more

My 10yo daughter is very anxious and has always been a 'big feelings' kid. She has recently changed schools, which has been really tough, and I can imagine that a lot of things in her life feel out of her control. So she has started having huge meltdowns saying she doesn't want to go to her dad's house (who lives with a new partner and two stepchildren, and they just announced their engagement).My ex and I both don't really know how to support her, but he is refusing to get support from a counsellor. Additionally, he is saying really nasty things to her, like 'she won't be taken on a family holiday', or 'she will never have any friends' or (get this...) 'she is not welcome in the family if this behaviour continues'. It is heartbreaking! I'm tired of defending him and picking up the pieces when she is distraught in my arms. It does seem that she shows far more emotion at my place, and at his house (after a few unsettled days after changeover) does seem quite 'happy'. Because she is emotional at my place, he says that clearly I am the problem. And the sad thing is that I am starting to feel very overwhelmed and reactive, and I'm starting to wonder if he is right...Does anyone else have issues with the ex, and how do you handle when they are not cooperating, saying mean things (to the kids and to you)? I'm finding it very hard to take the high ground and really just want to yell at him. Ultimately I just want my kid to feel safe and secure at BOTH households... Thanks in advance for your responses

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

All discussions

Sexless relationship

replies: 4

I don't know what to do about it

replies: 2

Delicate Ego's

replies: 6

Adult child is a sex offender

replies: 3

Why does betrayal have me feeling grief and loss?

replies: 3

Why can't my parents respect my decision to cut off my grandparents?

replies: 2

Having trouble talking to my close sister

replies: 2

Unresolved Conflict

replies: 2

Wife struggeling to accept sexless marriage

replies: 9

Co-parenting an anxious child, with a difficult ex

replies: 1

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

Sexless relationship replies: 4

I don't know what to do about it replies: 2

Delicate Ego's replies: 6

Adult child is a sex offender replies: 3

Why does betrayal have me feeling grief and loss? replies: 3

Why can't my parents respect my decision to cut off my grandparents? replies: 2

Having trouble talking to my close sister replies: 2

Unresolved Conflict replies: 2

Wife struggeling to accept sexless marriage replies: 9

Co-parenting an anxious child, with a difficult ex replies: 1

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

Sexless relationship

replies: 4

I don't know what to do about it

replies: 2

Delicate Ego's

replies: 6

Adult child is a sex offender

replies: 3

Why does betrayal have me feeling grief and loss?

replies: 3

Why can't my parents respect my decision to cut off my grandparents?

replies: 2

Having trouble talking to my close sister

replies: 2

Unresolved Conflict

replies: 2

Wife struggeling to accept sexless marriage

replies: 9

Co-parenting an anxious child, with a difficult ex

replies: 1