Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Guest_87116810 Financial hardship situation
  • replies: 2

My two children moved in with me for months n just left never paid food or rent n now I'm in many debts n don't what I need to do?

My two children moved in with me for months n just left never paid food or rent n now I'm in many debts n don't what I need to do?

ashleigh91 i feel like my whole world is being stolen from me
  • replies: 1

My mum is really sick she has stage 4 lung cancer. Its been going on for 8 years, the poor thing has been through so much health wise and i have struggled to be there for her due to my own issues. I have got addiction problems and that has really imp... View more

My mum is really sick she has stage 4 lung cancer. Its been going on for 8 years, the poor thing has been through so much health wise and i have struggled to be there for her due to my own issues. I have got addiction problems and that has really impacted my life and others. My daughter whos 12 is in permanent care with my mum who we share responsibilities looking after her. I know i was not the best daughter over the last 10 years but i have had significant other traumas as well. My mum has now told me out of the blue to leave our house cos she is going to move with my daughter to the country and she wants to leave my daughter with my aunt who we are not even close with. She has completely turned on me in everyway so much so that yesterday i went nuts. I mean i help my mum with everything i try to be there to help her but she doesnt want me anywhere near her all of a sudden..Im just struggling with the fact that she has pulled the rug from beneath me and i dont know how im going to cope with no family, i dont even know where im going to be living. Ive got no brothers or sisters, no dad no family. only my kids and my partner who has an upcoming court case in april and might potentially be going to jail. i feel so down.

Guest_05361435 Parents Divorcing
  • replies: 2

Hi.I don't know why I'm writing this but here I am. I'm 21, moved interstate at 18 by myself. So been by myself for a while now. Recently (past 9 months) my parents have been on and off separated then back then off again. But now they have officially... View more

Hi.I don't know why I'm writing this but here I am. I'm 21, moved interstate at 18 by myself. So been by myself for a while now. Recently (past 9 months) my parents have been on and off separated then back then off again. But now they have officially split. I don't live at home so it doesn't really effect me. But living so far away and quite a lonely life. I've just been feeling more alone than ever before. Like there has always been a home to go back too but now it is broken and falling apart. For a young person in a different state living by herself and working a demanding job. I have no social life and it is making me feel very alone in this world. Especially since I can't complain, my parents are going through it. The divorce is rough for them. My problems are so small compared to them. I don't know just want to see if anyone relates I guess.

svitra New born
  • replies: 4

Hi ,I recently delivered my baby two weeks back . He's my second . My first one is a special kid . The issue is at night initially he took formula feeds and slept off. Now he's awake the whole night despite having his ffeed . Mom suggested to increas... View more

Hi ,I recently delivered my baby two weeks back . He's my second . My first one is a special kid . The issue is at night initially he took formula feeds and slept off. Now he's awake the whole night despite having his ffeed . Mom suggested to increase dosage I did and still he's quite restless from night 12 up until afternoon 12 . I'm so confused restless I don't know what to do . I only formula feed him twice in the night as I have latching issues and after c section I'm v tired to stay up all night . I'm so skeptical what I'm doing is right or wrong , how to make him atleast sleep sometime in the night as it's only 2 weeks I'm not sure what to do and sometimes the guilt that I missed something for my first child that led her to the diagnosis peeks in and I'm all the more stressed and tired . Anyone can share their experiences which might help me in this journey Thanks in advance

samaz I need suggestions on what to do
  • replies: 11

I started dating my now wife when we were 16 and both living in different towns. We would talk on the phone regularly and send letters and see each other every few months. I had feelings for her that were way to strong for that age but never told her... View more

I started dating my now wife when we were 16 and both living in different towns. We would talk on the phone regularly and send letters and see each other every few months. I had feelings for her that were way to strong for that age but never told her. After 12 months i enrolled in a course in the same town and moved there excited to be able to spend time with her. When i got there she told me that she had cheated on me ( at this age cheating meant kissing) and that she wanted a break. She developed the relationship with the other that she had cheated on me with while on this break with them both regularly sporting fresh love bites. After a few weeks i lost my virginity to a stranger that i had no feelings for in a one night stand. I hoped that she would find this out so she might feel what it was like to be hurt. I left town soon after this to start a full time job in my home town.i didn’t see her again for around 12 months but when i did she came up and hugged me and said she was sorry and that her and the other fella were over. I apologized for what i had done and was happy that they were over because i wanted to start again. Soon after this she started a full time job and moved into her own flat back in her town. After a few months our relationship became sexual. I was quick to tell her how i felt this time around because I didn’t want to lose her again and told her that i wanted to be with her forever. She responded that she also had feelings for me but she wasn’t sure about forever. She told me that she had lost her virginity to the other fella and that they had a strong sexual relationship. Over the next decade she trickled me information about her previous relationship while our relationship blossomed and after 3 years we became engaged and she moved to live with me. We lived together for 2 years before getting married and had our first child 2 years after marriage. It was at this time she told me that she didn't completely end things with the other fella when we got back together. I was hurt but didn’t press for details i just asked that she cut all communication with him.during the next 16 years we sailed along as any other married couple would but she always said that i shouldn’t have any social media accounts as this was something women did and men didn’t use it. I knew this was wrong but did what she asked anyway. During this time she was very protective of her phone and I didn’t have access to her emails or any passwords.fast forward to a month ago and the kids now use her phone and social media more than she does so i am suddenly able to see everything. I noticed that she had the other fella in her facebook friends. I approached her and said that i had asked her to cut all contact with him years ago. She said no because he is my friend. I thought about this for a few days and then told her that on order for me to understand this i need to know when it all ended. She told me I don’t know. I said well to keep it simple when was the last time you had sex, she said I don’t remember. I said i find that hard to believe and asked well when was the first time you had sex she again said I don’t remember. I said that i find that impossible to believe since it was when you lost your virginity. She said that their relationship is her business and not mine. I said ok but if you don’t remember when it was do you remember where it was she said in my flat. This hit me for 6 as this meant it was at the time that we got back together and if they really did have as many intimate encounters as she had said they had it must have continued for quite some time after this. I have been losing alot of sleep over this sometimes barely sleeping at all for three days, i have almost completely lost my appetite, my mind is filling in all the details that she won’t disclose and they are not good thoughts. I have asked her to tell me but she simply says that is all dead and buried but to me it is fresh information that hurts like it was yesterday. What do i do? Am i overreacting or wrong?

Earth Girl Feel like they enable me too much
  • replies: 10

I love my family, but I realize now how much they enable me and I don't think it's helping me grow. I'll try to make a long story short. A girl from college would invite me to outings. I thought she was nice, but I grew out of the friendship so I sta... View more

I love my family, but I realize now how much they enable me and I don't think it's helping me grow. I'll try to make a long story short. A girl from college would invite me to outings. I thought she was nice, but I grew out of the friendship so I started telling her that I was busy. One day after telling her I was busy, she asked me if I wanted to hang out with her and her guy friend. I didn't know how to say no nicely so I went. I thought he was nice as well. The next day she asked a group of us if we wanted to see a movie with her and I told her I was busy. She then sent me a message saying that if I need her, she was there for me, but she was going to give me space as far as our friendship goes which was kind of her but I didn't know what she meant and I thought she thought I was annoyed at her or something and I didn't want her to think that so I told her I was just going through a hard time and maybe we could hang out when I was feeling a bit better (which was dumb of me). We continued to hang out for about a year I think and sometimes with her guy friend. I couldn't be myself much in this friendship so I realized that I was somehow going to have to end it. I thought it would hurt their feelings if I distanced myself from them again or if I told them I didn't want to be friends anymore so I ended up deleting them of Facebook (again, very dumb). 3 or 6 months later, I got a message from them asking me why I deleted them. I answered the girls one saying "Hi ..., I just deleted you because I didn't really feel a connection." She then asked if we were still friends and I said "not really I guess" (I didn't realize at the time how that might sound) and then she said "Thanks for using me. You crossed my kindness big time." A while later, I got a text from the guy about it and I told him that I just deleted him because I thought it would be rude to just delete her and he said "Look, I don't really want to get involved, but she's a great person so please help me understand why you didn't feel a connection there" (This is the part where I messed up even worse) I was annoyed at her for saying I was using her because that wasn't what I was trying to do and I didn't know why she would think that so I said "she is nice, I just felt like I couldn't open up to her much and she kind of bullied a girl in college about her weight." He said that he was sorry butdidn't want to be associated with someone who felt that way that way about her because she was very loyal to me

Guest_14978740 Past insecurities impacting marriage
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone,I’m hoping to gain some sort of insight as to how I can get through this. I was in a very bad relationship for years. Cheating, mental and physical abuse ect. I’ve never fully dealt with the emotional trauma it left me with. I’ve always ... View more

Hey everyone,I’m hoping to gain some sort of insight as to how I can get through this. I was in a very bad relationship for years. Cheating, mental and physical abuse ect. I’ve never fully dealt with the emotional trauma it left me with. I’ve always had terrible self esteem and views on how I see myself. I’ve been in my current relationship for 7 years now and he is amazing. We got married last year. He has never done anything to hurt me or make me feel negatively at all BUT I still seem to feel threatened by others, scared he will cheat, worried he is more attracted to other women ect. It’s really bloody draining! I struggle to be naked around him as I’m worried I’m disappointing him with how I look. He clearly loves me more than anything and has never done anything to make these feelings valid but I don’t know how to get out of my own head. It’s literally stopping me from being able to enjoy our marriage to the fullest. It’s spiralled my binge eating and depression. I go through times when I’m not too bad and then there are times where it sends me absolutely crazy Please help!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! TIA

laufeylistener Dealing with toxic friends
  • replies: 1

I had an interaction today with some toxic friends I dropped last year while I was on the bus going home. Let’s call them A and B. I purposefully distanced myself from them over the past few months, which has affected some of my own friendships since... View more

I had an interaction today with some toxic friends I dropped last year while I was on the bus going home. Let’s call them A and B. I purposefully distanced myself from them over the past few months, which has affected some of my own friendships since they’re part of a big friend group and some of my friends are connected to them. A forced me to have a conversation with B, and they began asking the most stupidest, immature and unethical questions. Mind you we just started Year 12, probably the most stressful year of our academic lives. B said that if I didn’t answer then they’d threaten to talk bad about me online and create fake alternate accounts of me that impersonated me. I felt really uncomfortable because it felt like they were violating my privacy, with A shoving their phone and taking pictures of me without my consent. I said I wasn’t comfortable answering their questions but they kept asking, so I just shut my eyes and asked them not to talk to me. I wanted to stand up by myself, but I just stayed silent for the rest of the bus trip until they got off at their bus stop. I just wished I could say more, but I didn’t know what to say. To trust that they were genuine at first and have that destroyed within a few minutes makes me feel dumb. I was trying to act respectful to them by saying that I didn’t want to answer their questions because I didn’t feel comfortable, but they didn’t respect my boundaries. I tried ignoring them, to be resilient as my mum said who told me that they were just trying to sabotage me and destroy my academic life. And reasoning to myself that they were projecting their own insecurities onto me. I just don’t need those distractions, especially for HSC. I just want to find friends that are supportive and mature enough. But now I’m quieter than usual, I feel like I've developed trust issues when talking with new people, and now I only have a few friends I can truly trust. I pretend that other people's opinions don’t affect me, but they do, just a bit. I have a bit of anxiety towards people judging me now. Someone targeting my insecurities, criticizing my likes and dislikes, just switches my mood completely and makes me feel detached, not like myself. A and B talk to me as though I’m a sort of plaything for them, someone to just talk to for their own amusement and enjoyment by belittling me. I’m sick and tired of it. What should I do?

randomxx Relationship break up , 5 yrs , 59 , feels hopeless.
  • replies: 614

Hi to anyone that might drop in , it's rx here l just had to rejoin.A few might remember my ongoing thread about gf and her situation, us and the rest. Sadly though, we've broken up after all that.l'm 59 now, just feels hopeless. lt's not that l don'... View more

Hi to anyone that might drop in , it's rx here l just had to rejoin.A few might remember my ongoing thread about gf and her situation, us and the rest. Sadly though, we've broken up after all that.l'm 59 now, just feels hopeless. lt's not that l don't get interest it's just the thought of starting over sometime later on down the track now, again, meeting that right person, it's about that person, not any interest or 2 dozen others, it's that one that feels so hopeless and if even ever at all will probably be yrs away from now, and l'll feel like it even less.Ya just can't help thinking about it even though it's of course not the time right now for sure, know that. As in my other thread, we were up and down , she had huge problems when we met, visas' and court cases and mh and health, she was all over the place. That's why l held back with her and us, 5 yrs but l still supported her with all l had right through it all though. All that had finally finished 3yrs in but she was still all over the place, l felt l could never trust it or her true self.Together she was loving and supportive and affectionate and just a real partner tbh . But we were still long distance again due to her situation and so whenever she was home again or l wasn't up at hers, she'd just change again.She'd be all negative and her health would go to shit again, talking bad stuff about us, saying she was too sick now to have a relationship, must've went through all that 20 times with her in 5yrs.Truth was together, she was not only just beautiful mostly , but also fitter than any girl her age l ever knew soon as she was back up home alone though it'd all just start again.There's no talking or reasoning, even though she use to preach positivity herself, the negativity just pours out all over again, even if we'd just had a beautiful 3 or 4wks together. Dealing with that 5yrs plus all her earlier dramas , l just couldn't trust anything to do with us, but l hoped in time or once we were together full time, that'd all just go as it was when we were together. But then l'd think how would l know that was real just bc we were together properly at last, if she was going home again she'd just blurt out all the same old stuff. Anyway, it started again after our last visit, her health her stress , she can't be in a relationship, l've had enough.ldk, l was divorced 10yrs ago, laid low 5yrs, but she was the only one l'd met that just fitted, but then there was the rest of it. l could see a life with her though if it all sorted out and so l persisted.l knew it was a gamble though, damn it. rx

Tea Break Up and Moving across state.
  • replies: 2

Hi, my partner and I just split up. Mentally I just couldn't stay in the relationship any longer. He was drinking more and becoming possessive. If I left the house I would be questioned and called constantly. I go to woolies and a small 5min duck in ... View more

Hi, my partner and I just split up. Mentally I just couldn't stay in the relationship any longer. He was drinking more and becoming possessive. If I left the house I would be questioned and called constantly. I go to woolies and a small 5min duck in duck out would end up taking half an hr because id be stuck on the phone explaining why I needed to get milk and if id spoken to anyone. My family would call and he would beg me not to answer and if I did he would get mad and upset, saying all I do is talk to them when I should be spending quality time with him. When he was literally just sitting there on his phone while I was trying to get his attention to do something. The list goes on...I feel mentally crushed. I loved this man so much but as time went on in the relationship and things got worse my mental health started to decline. Ive lost most of my friends and feel extremely isolated. My anxiety levels have gone up as well as my depression. Life feels heavy. Ive moved away trying to start a fresh life but I can't stopping think I should stayed and worked on the relationship. He blames me for absolutely everything.