I dont know what to do

[AAAAAAA]

I'm a 16 year old male, in year 10. I gave up on dating due to some sexuality issues and being led on, etc... And it drove me into a deep state of depression and worthlessness. I spoke to the counsellors in my school but I don't find it much help. There was this girl I had known for about 6 years, pretty, a little younger than me but I knew her well. After talking a bit, I noticed a bit of a romantic undercurrent and I expressed how I didn't want to get into another relationship, but I felt pushed to go into the relationship, and I did. It was beautiful and she was unusually nice to me, I understand that's a given in a relationship but it was unusual because she was a bit strange before that, in a way of like she wasn't a crazy nice person. Cue a few days ago, it was movie night at the school. I was waiting in line for food and there were a bunch of mixed-up details, but she ended up getting mad at me and didn't end up talking to me for a while during that night. I took her aside and asked what was wrong and she just blew up and said how I didn't want to talk to her. After me trying to passively resolve it, I told her essentially, since I've been so hurt in the past, that we either think about how she can get less mad about little things, or it wont work out, because I didn't want either of us to be hurt. She ended up taking it like I was breaking up, so she screenshotted every text I've ever sent and twisted the words to her friends, so now the whole of her grade (year 9) hates me. I felt so powerless. I tried my best to protect us, yet I knew she was gonna get mad. There was this other girl, I didn't like her in any romantic way, but she was a friend, and she helped me understand her point of view and also helped me through some of my suicidal episodes. This girl, and my now 'ex' were kind of enemies, and my ex would always call them not nice and I should stop talking to them. I however, didn't because I knew I and her didn't like each other in that way, and she helped. I take accountability for not immediately blocking her if that's what she wanted. Fast forward to today, they decided to exchange the messages I sent to both of them, and my ex misinterpreted them and went psyhco, blocking me on everything and making sure I was talked really badly about. And this girl I was friends with, she blocked me too, I don't know why. She just said I cant be friends and there is no other way around it, yet I attempted to the night before and shed rather make sure my ex (whom she hates), is not crying? Whether I deserve it or not, its taking a deeper and deeper toll on my mental health and I don't want to be here, any advice? 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

Whenever someone needs time to recover from a broken relationship or are exploring their sexuality or for any other reason they feel a need to put on hold their romantic future, thats a basic right. If other people dont respect your decision to exercise that basic right then they can be seen as "pushy" or "demanding". 

Unfortunately you are probably dealing with an age group whereby any rational reason is taken out of context because of a number of possibilities like- misinterpreting your reason as a rejection for example. The only possible way to prevent that, and it isnt fool proof, is to be more direct (with tact) eg - "I really like you but I'm recovering atm so it will be a few weeks or longer before I'm ready to get close to anyone, I'm sorry, but I'd love to remain friends".

What you are not able to do is predict or control what other people do. The behaviour some people act out especially in your age group can be very immature and hurtful. It's the spreading of gossip called demonising that isnt acceptable in the adult world (but still happens to a lesser degree) and in your case a whole class can listen to one person slandering you, twisting facts etc in order to harm you is vindictive. So what can you do about this now?

As you mature more you'll realise that people forget quickly and move on especially if you dont react. In a few eeks it will be someone else they set their sights on. But of all those that seem to hate you now there will be a number of them that are just going along with the group/gang. And those people secretly dont believe what is being spread. Those people will talk to you soon and you'll develop better relationships with those that dont follow the gang mentality.

The hardest challenge is for you to gain the confidence of knowing you did nothing wrong, that the spreading of rubbish talk was not your doing and this can happen to anyone. I suggest you be strong enough to ride out this episode that is hurtful and believe in yourself that these people are not the type of person you need in your life. The best response to the core trouble makers is to act like they dont exist unless you need to work with each other say on a project at which time being civil is being mature. How they react is for them, that is not something you can control.

Life with people means giving and taking but some people do not have the level of values that make them worthy of your time.... sadly.

Thankyou for writing in. If you ever feel you need immediate help ring the number at the bottom of the page.

TonyWK