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Sophie_M Parents and caregivers: How are you feeling about the social media restrictions for under 16s?
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents... View more

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents and caregivers. For some, this change might feel like a welcome relief - a clearer way to manage social media use and protect young people. For others, there may be concerns about how it will affect access to online support, questions around how age verification will actually work, or frustration and powerlessness over a decision beyond our control. All of these feelings are valid. If you’re a parent or caregiver, or you have some young people in your life that will be affected by these restrictions, how are you feeling about this change? We’ve created this space for anyone caring for young people to share their thoughts, ask questions, and support each other through the uncertainty of the months ahead.Kind regardsSophie M

Carmela Are you supporting a depressed partner? My tips from 18 years of experience
  • replies: 41

This list has been compiled from experiences supporting my husband with depression. There is no one size fits all, so please take what you are comfortable with based on your circumstances and resources. 1. Reach out to family and/or friends to feel s... View more

This list has been compiled from experiences supporting my husband with depression. There is no one size fits all, so please take what you are comfortable with based on your circumstances and resources. 1. Reach out to family and/or friends to feel supported - this also covers support groups - online or face to face. Don't let stigma stop you from reaching out. 2. Relationship boundaries - identify what is acceptable and not. My general platform is that physical abuse is unacceptable as well as regular demeaning/berating comments. Communicate this openly so everyone understands. 3. Coping tools - this could be exercise, meditation, reading a book, meeting friends, etc. They are important for your mental health. 4. Knowledge is power - research to understand about depression. The more you know, the better care you can provide. 5. Remember your partner in the good times - this is their true selves, not the darkness. 6. Listen and show receptivity - without judgement or anger. If communicate becomes strained, the timeout can provide clarity. Encourage communication gently and try not to push. 7. Seek counselling - sharing your feelings can provide an opportunity to off load the heavy stuff and identify resilience and coping strategies. 8. Work as a team - don't let mental illness be in the driver's seat. Offer to go to the Dr's and support them. Understand medication and side effects. Be understanding that some days are harder than others. 9. Words are powerful - remember what you say cannot be taken back. 10. Carer Self-esteem and self-worth - if you compromise these for the sake of supporting your partner, you are likely to live with resentment towards your partner and the circumstances you find yourself in. 11. Don't forget the children - challenging circumstances at home can affect them mentally and emotionally. Speak about mental illness (COPMI.com.au - has some great resources) and be a strong foundation toward maintaining normality in their daily activities. 12. Intimacy - there are many variables here, so from my experience - keep communication open and make couple time to connect. When my husband was depressed, daily hugs or holding hands wherever possible worked for us. Some carers I have spoken with said their partner would demand intimacy. My personal position is that intimacy is about love without demands or attachments relating to expectation. Demands only deplete the goodness in the connection and sharing a a loving experience. [Moderator's note: this thread is for sharing tips on what has worked for you in supported a loved one with a mental health condition. In order to help us keep this thread focused on solutions, please start a new thread if you are seeking support from the community around how to best support your loved one.]

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Sal I'm very depressed and constantly anxious alcoholic brother.
  • replies: 4

Every afternoon my middle-aged brother starts drinking and doesn't stop until he is so drunk he can barely walk. He gets very verbally abusive. He also tries to be physically intimidating. We have both been raised by a narcistic mother. He too is ver... View more

Every afternoon my middle-aged brother starts drinking and doesn't stop until he is so drunk he can barely walk. He gets very verbally abusive. He also tries to be physically intimidating. We have both been raised by a narcistic mother. He too is very narcistic. I live with my mother and brother on the same property. Every day I live in fear of what's going to happen. Im 50 years of and live with them because my my mother needs me to pay her part of her mortgage or she looses the house. She calls this rent. I'm so anxious and depressed. I feel emotionally exhausted after having to live like this for the last 15 years. I can't afford to rent anywhere else and have been made to feel guilty if I mention I'm upset about my situation to my mother and brother. I don't know what to do. Frightened I'm going to have a mental breakdown.

Brendaa Can borderline BDP be fixed long term? How?
  • replies: 3

Wondering if anyone has treatment for BDP and has this helped for long term relationships with partners? Going to take my partner soon to see psychologist but from what I'm reading, it's very hard to change

Wondering if anyone has treatment for BDP and has this helped for long term relationships with partners? Going to take my partner soon to see psychologist but from what I'm reading, it's very hard to change

Sophie_M Parents and caregivers: How are you feeling about the social media restrictions for under 16s?
  • replies: 3

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents... View more

Hey everyone, It’s hard to miss the talk around the new social media restrictions for under 16s, set to roll out across Australia in early December. We’ve heard from some of the younger members of our community, and now we’d love to hear from parents and caregivers. For some, this change might feel like a welcome relief - a clearer way to manage social media use and protect young people. For others, there may be concerns about how it will affect access to online support, questions around how age verification will actually work, or frustration and powerlessness over a decision beyond our control. All of these feelings are valid. If you’re a parent or caregiver, or you have some young people in your life that will be affected by these restrictions, how are you feeling about this change? We’ve created this space for anyone caring for young people to share their thoughts, ask questions, and support each other through the uncertainty of the months ahead.Kind regardsSophie M

Sammy Help with daughter
  • replies: 2

Please help my daughter is 21 and I have noticed she was slowly withdrawing from me, irritated easily and hence I left her to her boyfriend and friends. At year 8 she seperated from her dad and lived with me. At year 11 I found a vape and alcohol in ... View more

Please help my daughter is 21 and I have noticed she was slowly withdrawing from me, irritated easily and hence I left her to her boyfriend and friends. At year 8 she seperated from her dad and lived with me. At year 11 I found a vape and alcohol in her room and I believed when she said it was her friends. I trusted she is not that type. After 4 years now I took her for lunch and connected. She said she did vape but not much now, using weed but not regular, using alcohol whenever with friends and started an SSRI medication. Her dad has bipolar disorder and psychosis. How should I help. She lives between my house and her boyfriends. He is also using weed now as fun time and noticed he is seemingly restless and anxious compared to few months before. I myself need support and a sensitive person. Finding it hard to cope with these

Logan_III Wife suffering from persecutory delusions, can they eventually forgive the wrongly accused?
  • replies: 5

My wife of nearly 20 years has always suffered from depression but the past 4 years have been the hardest on me due to the amplification of her hypervigilance/judgemental-ness/persecutory beliefs based on past unresolved trauma. She has seen a psychi... View more

My wife of nearly 20 years has always suffered from depression but the past 4 years have been the hardest on me due to the amplification of her hypervigilance/judgemental-ness/persecutory beliefs based on past unresolved trauma. She has seen a psychiatrist for many years but they never seem to delve into the cause and over the past 4 years her paranoia regarding people close to me has escalated.I have had to part way for numerous friends, minimal contact with my family and I am now more isolated than ever. I have given up sports that I enjoyed due to the clubs being part of the conspiracy. These people are accused of sharing emails or texts, hacking accounts, passing on information to media outlets and general gaslighting in an effort to get her to return to a past workplace (one source of her past trauma).Like many people suffering the above, jumping to conclusions with minimal evidence, not believing her Dr and being angry at needing medication (antidepressant and a mild antipsychotic) when she believes it's all these people who need to stop and apologise.Can someone who believes in these things so strongly ever get to a point where they realise that these people have not done what her mind has convinced her of or is it 'locked in'.I guess I am at a point where I am assessing our future as a family unit. We have children and it is really starting to impact them and my lust for life is also at an all-time low.I read all the help guides regarding caring for someone suffering from this, but I fear catching up with people (who have not been accused) as I may lose them too.It's not a great way to live and if things are set in her mind, even if she gets things under control, I miss all my friends and catching up with family regularly without the crippling anxiety it brings me.Thanks

BRET Teenager refusal to seek help and go to appointments
  • replies: 2

HI I have a teenager (15) and we are having a nightmare dealing with.He erupts every night over small things that dont seem to be important.He gets angry and and has out burst kicking walls multiple time during the day. HE seems to have no regard for... View more

HI I have a teenager (15) and we are having a nightmare dealing with.He erupts every night over small things that dont seem to be important.He gets angry and and has out burst kicking walls multiple time during the day. HE seems to have no regard for advise this only makes him angry. We are constantly walking on egg shells to keep him from exploding into rage and wrecking some thing.He has no rationale about danger and will often open the car door while driving to stop me from driving . He struggles to get to school every day and often come up with some thing wrong not to go .He has got mates and i dont think that school is necessarily the issue.We have had a referral from our doctor but he refuses to go.We are exhausted and just want to help him as it seems to only be getting worse.I have read some reviews about BPD and wonder if this might be what is going on.

Soberlicious96 Sick of being everybody's reminder person
  • replies: 2

I am so sick and tired of people asking ME to do stuff for THEM that they should be doing for themselves. I am not their keeper. They are fully grown, capable adults who seemingly cannot be bothered to organise their own schedules. Perhaps I should s... View more

I am so sick and tired of people asking ME to do stuff for THEM that they should be doing for themselves. I am not their keeper. They are fully grown, capable adults who seemingly cannot be bothered to organise their own schedules. Perhaps I should start charging them a fee for being their personal assistant! Seriously! I mean, how hard is it to set your own alarm or put something on your own calendar??? Sometimes this mental load that I seem to end up carrying for others is just too much.

Gambit87 Supporting my partner with a eating disorder.
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone! Its been a long time since I've posted on here! Long story short, my partner has an eating disorder due to severe childhood trauma. Up until a few months ago she was fairly balanced. Going to the gym, eating relatively healthy and bingi... View more

Hey everyone! Its been a long time since I've posted on here! Long story short, my partner has an eating disorder due to severe childhood trauma. Up until a few months ago she was fairly balanced. Going to the gym, eating relatively healthy and binging/purging fairly irregularly. She was on the cusp of deep diving into her past traw However, Stress is a big trigger for her - right now she's working in youth community services and she is studying and has been under alot of pressure. She has essentially gone back to the only coping strategy she has known her whole life - binge eating alot then purging. She feels very intense shame when she does it. She is on the cusp of changing to a job with part time hours soon so im hoping things will settle down and she can take some time out for her self. From my point of view - I feel like im watching behind a glass wall, sitting there unable to help. I try to internalise my frustrations so that I don't upset her. Tonight, I told her I was going to bed early (so I could remove myself from the situation because I was frustrated), and we ended up fighting. Before I go down the google rabbit hole - can anyone point me in the right direction for some resources so I can better myself? Thank you everyone. I just feel trapped, helpless and I just dont know what to do sometimes.

Guest_33680115 Support for parent of a teen criminal
  • replies: 2

I’m looking for someone who’s been through parenting a child who’s committed crimes. My 14yo has been caught up in the violent crimes that have taken over Melbourne. He’s from a loving (single parent) home but has fallen into the wrong group and has ... View more

I’m looking for someone who’s been through parenting a child who’s committed crimes. My 14yo has been caught up in the violent crimes that have taken over Melbourne. He’s from a loving (single parent) home but has fallen into the wrong group and has committed some horrific crimes. His crime spree lasted about 4 weeks where he was arrested 3 times. After his 3rd arrest he was remanded to parkville and has not been granted bail - it’s been over a month. After the 2nd failed attempt at bail he’s completely shut down, refusing any communication with lawyers, youth justice, me, other family members. My heart is absolutely breaking. Prior to his 1st arrest I had sought out help for 12 months from any agency I could because I could see him becoming disengaged and all told me he didn’t qualify because he wasn’t “bad enough”. After the last arrest I was told he didn’t qualify because the charges were too serious. I’m one of the most hated parents in Melbourne right now and I have to put on a brave face each day for my other kids but I’m broken inside. I’m scared to go to the shops in case someone sees me and says something. I’m scared somebody will say something to my other kids. I’m scared him being in custody this long will ruin him. It’s just me and my kids and I’m struggling to hold down a full time job, parent my other kids and support him through this. Not having anyone to talk to who understands is really hard.

Aymee Supporting a depressed partner
  • replies: 3

My partner (30M) has suffered depression for as long as he can remember and is also currently going through the autism/adhd diagnosis process. He struggles with alcohol and cannabis use. This year so far he has had three serious suicidal bouts where ... View more

My partner (30M) has suffered depression for as long as he can remember and is also currently going through the autism/adhd diagnosis process. He struggles with alcohol and cannabis use. This year so far he has had three serious suicidal bouts where myself and his family had serious concerns for his wellbeing. He is seeing a therapist and was taking meds. He’s stopped taking them after 3 weeks and stated he’s only going to therapy because we are fixing him and that it’s useless and a waste of time/money. we have a young child and I’m growing increasingly concerned about his capacity to care for them and concerned about his behaviours. At what point do we try other things? Discuss inpatient places? Myself and his family believe we shave tried all the first steps here - GP, therapist, psych, meds etc. but at a loss as to what now? any advice appreciated.