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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 223

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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Guest_05656585 Where do I belong?
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’m Michi and still in high school but I would like some help on who I am. All of my friends are either straight or gay and I don’t think I belong under any of those terms, I just don’t know how to fit in. I also don’t think I’m asexual, I don’t ... View more

Hi, I’m Michi and still in high school but I would like some help on who I am. All of my friends are either straight or gay and I don’t think I belong under any of those terms, I just don’t know how to fit in. I also don’t think I’m asexual, I don’t know where I belong, it’s been like this for a year now and I just don’t know how my friends will react if I say I don’t know what gender I’m attracted to. It has been hard since most of my friends either have crushes or a lover, I don’t feel like I fit in with the society. Thank you for listening

I_Know_I_Matter Uncomfortable as a cis male and worried about the side effects of HRT
  • replies: 1

Hello! I'm an 18 (soon to be 19) year old cisgender male with autism who is currently struggling with his gender identity. I've been thinking about coming out as transgender but there are many obstacles blocking my path. The main reason is because my... View more

Hello! I'm an 18 (soon to be 19) year old cisgender male with autism who is currently struggling with his gender identity. I've been thinking about coming out as transgender but there are many obstacles blocking my path. The main reason is because my family isn't that welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community. The other is because if/when I start taking estrogen, there's some things that will remain permanent if I decide to detransition. I've listed some pros and cons below. Arguments for:I recently changed my pronouns from "he/him" to "he/him + she/her" to see how others see meI'm uncomfortable with facial hair and armpit hairI'm uninterested in many activities that males are usually interested inI've had to stop using my real name due to harassment and other mental health concernsLots of males I've met are jerks and I don't necessarily fit into this categorySometimes I wonder what it might feel like to wear a dressArguments against:I don't mind my voice or most of my appearanceI feel as if this is influenced by the amount of time I spend onlineI haven't decided on what my new name should be if I do transitionI'm worried about the side effects of HRT and the potentially irreversible damage it could do to my body (breast growth caused by taking estrogen is permanent and I don't know if there's a cure)Most of my family is transphobicThere could be a better gender identity that describes me so I don't have to worry about potential risks So yeah. I don't want to start taking hormones because certain effects are permanent, but is there a gender identity that best fits me? Like I said, I've started to use both he/him and she/her pronouns, but I don't really feel comfortable with they/them though.

Aljay Deceased partner
  • replies: 8

My partner of over 30 years passed away a week ago unexpectedly from a second stroke. I am struggling to find any purpose and how to move forward. He was everything and I am struggling to see a way forward.

My partner of over 30 years passed away a week ago unexpectedly from a second stroke. I am struggling to find any purpose and how to move forward. He was everything and I am struggling to see a way forward.

Ash_music Gender Identity
  • replies: 14

This chat is for if your having an Identity crisis, or if your having trouble because of your gender

This chat is for if your having an Identity crisis, or if your having trouble because of your gender

ashi Coming out is a lot more difficult than I thought it'd be
  • replies: 4

I'm under 16 years old, biologically female, and I identify as transmasc. I do plan on transitioning when I can and have the money to, but right now, I really just want someone to call me by the name I want them to, or just use he/they pronouns inste... View more

I'm under 16 years old, biologically female, and I identify as transmasc. I do plan on transitioning when I can and have the money to, but right now, I really just want someone to call me by the name I want them to, or just use he/they pronouns instead of she/her.My school has a transgender support pin board, which helps me feel a bit more confident, that was until I heard a few of my friends comment things like "Ewww" or "Transgender week is over, why don't they take this down?" and even calling some of the transgender people ugly. I know they could just be joking, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have said that if they knew I was trans, but it hurts to know they would actually say that.My friends don't have anything against the LGBT+ community, some of them don't understand much of it but they've respected it, well, besides that situation mentioned before.I'm also worried about talking to the teachers, I've gotten along with most of them, and it makes me feel safe when I see the pride themed tag thing they wear, but I'm still not confident enough to go up to them and say "Hey, sorry to bother you, but during class can you call me ### instead of ###?", if they comply, then it would be awkward to talk to my friends if they notice and ask why the teachers call me that instead of my supposed name.Most importantly though, I'm 80% my parents would hate me if I told them I was trans, my mom is somewhat open to the LGBTQ+ community, though again, she's not very well educated in that, but she's had some strong beliefs in how woman or men should act, and she strongly believes I'm a strong woman, which is great, but how am I going to go and tell her "Sorry mom, but I identify as male" and just kinda break what image she conjured of me? My dad is complicated, I doubt he hates the LGBTQ+ community, but I also doubt he'll be okay with me being trans. My parents are currently divorced, my mom lives in China while I live in Australia with my dad, so if my dad kicks me out, there's not much I can do.The help I'm asking for here though, is should I come out to my friends and/or my teachers? I feel like it would be a big step forwards, but maybe too big.

Sofia Ashamed of my sexuality (Help!)
  • replies: 4

Hello!From a young age, I've known I was attracted to the same gender. Still, I suppressed those feelings and conformed to dating/ interacting sexually with the opposite gender and convincing myself I liked them to feel a sense of "normal" as I've al... View more

Hello!From a young age, I've known I was attracted to the same gender. Still, I suppressed those feelings and conformed to dating/ interacting sexually with the opposite gender and convincing myself I liked them to feel a sense of "normal" as I've always felt like an outcast and never been sure of who I am. Recently my feelings for girls have intensified and the shame feels suffocating, even though I have no idea where all that shame has come from because I have same-sex couples all around me. Not many people know about my true sexuality so I can't discuss my struggles with anyone who can provide me with proper help or support to reassure me that what I'm going through is okay. Can someone please offer me some guidance or advice on my next steps to accept myself?- Sofia

Guest_89997949 How to support a bi-sexual son
  • replies: 4

Hi there, My son came out to me as bisexual last week in the car. I've always suspected he was attracted to both sexes but was waiting for him to tell me himself. I was asking about crushes and defaulted to girls as lots of his friends are taking gir... View more

Hi there, My son came out to me as bisexual last week in the car. I've always suspected he was attracted to both sexes but was waiting for him to tell me himself. I was asking about crushes and defaulted to girls as lots of his friends are taking girls to his Year 12 ball. When he told me I said "oh I know that! Well you have lots of choice then" and sort of made a joke of it. Shortly after we arrived at home and I told him I loved him and thanked him for telling me. I also asked if he was going to tell his dad and he said he would but I wasn't allowed to tell him. The conversation sort of moved on quickly and I didn't want to bombard him with questions but I just asked "when did you know" to which he responded to me about 3 years before when he had a huge crush on a boy in his year. Since then I have loads more questions but don't want to bombard him. I also am dying to share this with his dad but have promised not to. Any advice on how I can support him but also have a few questions answered. I love him and accept him whoever he is attracted to but am very protective of him also. Thankfully he has good friends and wants to start telling them but this scares me too. Any advice much appreciated.

Bluejay23 Confusing feelings for a flirty friend
  • replies: 2

I live in an all-boys dorm, and honestly, everyone here pretty much knows about my sexuality. There’s this guy who I met through our mutual friends. At first, he weirded me out because he was really touchy, and I thought he might be messing with me. ... View more

I live in an all-boys dorm, and honestly, everyone here pretty much knows about my sexuality. There’s this guy who I met through our mutual friends. At first, he weirded me out because he was really touchy, and I thought he might be messing with me. But as time passed, I saw him more often and started developing feelings for him. The thing is, he has a reputation as the biggest flirt/player on campus. He talks to a lot of girls but is also very physically affectionate with our guy friends—and even with me. Once, he cuddled me in bed. A few nights ago, I was out walking alone at 1:30 AM to clear my head when he spotted me while driving back from McDonald’s. He literally U-turned to check on me, asking where I was going and if I was okay. I told him I was fine and kept walking, but he stopped the car twice more to ask. A few minutes after driving off, he texted me, “Are you okay? I love you.” Since then, he’s been extra affectionate—hugging me and repeatedly saying “I love you.” Yesterday, I finally told him, “Stop saying that! Because you don’t.” He replied, “I do though. I care about you. Why don’t you believe me?” Now, I’m trying not to fall for his charms, but I don’t even know if resisting is the right thing to do.

bella9 i'm bisexual(?) but I have homophobic parents
  • replies: 7

I'm new but here it goes, Late last year I started questioning my sexuality, I didn't think much of it and ignored it. Then this year when entering a new school year,( I started a catholic all-girls high school and I'm turning 15 next year) I would l... View more

I'm new but here it goes, Late last year I started questioning my sexuality, I didn't think much of it and ignored it. Then this year when entering a new school year,( I started a catholic all-girls high school and I'm turning 15 next year) I would look at the girls and think they are attractive the same way boys are. It was the usual wanting to kiss a girl, hold their hand and be in a relationship with them. But the problem was I also found boys attractive still. So I did some quick research to make myself sure and came across the term, Bisexual. I started addressing myself like that, and soon enough I developed some type of crush? With a girl in my school, the sad bit is I've only seen her, not met her. My parents soon enough found out near the end of pride month and gave me a talk on how it's a sin and how I'm not Old "bella" anymore or how they could easily kick me out. They treat me quite different now and always check up on me so I'm not watching anything that contains LGBTQ, they say how I'm young and know nothing about the world and how I'm being stupid. I have friends that support me but no one to talk to at school properly since it's catholic. I'm not sure what to do or feel, most of the time I lie and say I'm still straight but can't help the fact that I find both girls and boys attractive. Could someone offer some advice?

BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue