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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Tibel For lack of a better term: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
  • replies: 2

I'm not exactly sure where to post this. I am bisexual and GNC, but I also went to highschool during a time when one was either gay or straight, I was ostracized from both sides, in year 11 one of the straights gave me the derisive nickname "not sure... View more

I'm not exactly sure where to post this. I am bisexual and GNC, but I also went to highschool during a time when one was either gay or straight, I was ostracized from both sides, in year 11 one of the straights gave me the derisive nickname "not sure" in response to me expressing uncertainty about my sexuality, when I tried to hangout with the gays I was belittled and mocked, while any attempt I made to participate in the ribaldry was determined to be homophobic and I was made to feel like a piece of shit. My entire life has been made hellish due to the average individuals inability to believe in anything other than false dilemmasI am also very smart, and please trust me when I say that's not me bragging. I've spent most of the past ten years trying to give myself a chemical lobotomy. On top of that I'm extremely sensitive, and it has often felt like I love everyone, but everyone hates me. Even if someone seems to like me, they still leave enough room for doubt so that I think they secretly hate me. I am 35, and I am alone. There must be something fundamentally wrong with me, because I have 100% more options and 0% of the results. Of course, bisexuality isn't that simple, basically, these days, I'm attracted to 90% of women, and singer/songwriter Sufjan Stevens. It also seems to be linked to some latent feminity, that is, the way in which I'm attracted to men (or, man, as it were) is distinct from the way in which I'm attracted to women. But I digress. The point is I'm lonely, the point is since I was eight years old I've wanted nothing more than to have someone fall asleep in my arms, since I was twelve years old I've slept with extra blankets and pillows as a surrogate for these unmet needs, the point is I've never had this. Well, to be totally fair, I've had it once. She was obese, and she had sleep apnoea which resulted in thunderous snoring, but I still really appreciated it - though it would be nice to find someone who takes care of themselves at least enough so that I can also get some sleep. Digressing again, what can I say, I'm in a mood. Sorry this is so long I'm gonna have to do multiple posts. I could probably edit it down but I just want to get all this out.

ashi Coming out is a lot more difficult than I thought it'd be
  • replies: 2

I'm under 16 years old, biologically female, and I identify as transmasc. I do plan on transitioning when I can and have the money to, but right now, I really just want someone to call me by the name I want them to, or just use he/they pronouns inste... View more

I'm under 16 years old, biologically female, and I identify as transmasc. I do plan on transitioning when I can and have the money to, but right now, I really just want someone to call me by the name I want them to, or just use he/they pronouns instead of she/her.My school has a transgender support pin board, which helps me feel a bit more confident, that was until I heard a few of my friends comment things like "Ewww" or "Transgender week is over, why don't they take this down?" and even calling some of the transgender people ugly. I know they could just be joking, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have said that if they knew I was trans, but it hurts to know they would actually say that.My friends don't have anything against the LGBT+ community, some of them don't understand much of it but they've respected it, well, besides that situation mentioned before.I'm also worried about talking to the teachers, I've gotten along with most of them, and it makes me feel safe when I see the pride themed tag thing they wear, but I'm still not confident enough to go up to them and say "Hey, sorry to bother you, but during class can you call me ### instead of ###?", if they comply, then it would be awkward to talk to my friends if they notice and ask why the teachers call me that instead of my supposed name.Most importantly though, I'm 80% my parents would hate me if I told them I was trans, my mom is somewhat open to the LGBTQ+ community, though again, she's not very well educated in that, but she's had some strong beliefs in how woman or men should act, and she strongly believes I'm a strong woman, which is great, but how am I going to go and tell her "Sorry mom, but I identify as male" and just kinda break what image she conjured of me? My dad is complicated, I doubt he hates the LGBTQ+ community, but I also doubt he'll be okay with me being trans. My parents are currently divorced, my mom lives in China while I live in Australia with my dad, so if my dad kicks me out, there's not much I can do.The help I'm asking for here though, is should I come out to my friends and/or my teachers? I feel like it would be a big step forwards, but maybe too big.

Bi_guy 30 yo male, married, bisexual and scared - need help
  • replies: 18

Hi A bit of an introduction. I’m a married bisexual guy and have been with my wife for 10 years. I always knew I was bi-curious but was convinced I was straight because I mainly only had emotional crushes on girls. This all changed ages 27 when I rea... View more

Hi A bit of an introduction. I’m a married bisexual guy and have been with my wife for 10 years. I always knew I was bi-curious but was convinced I was straight because I mainly only had emotional crushes on girls. This all changed ages 27 when I realised I still had a strong sexual desire for guys, almost exclusively Asian guys. It took me another three years to be comfortable identifying as bisexual. My problem is that, I love my wife so much, but I can’t help find I am more sexually attracted to Asian guys. It plays on my mind and I find it hard long term to cope with my primary sexual desire not being my wife. But I am confused because I don’t have much emotional response to guys and I don’t see like I could be with a guy long term and grow old together. My wife and I have built a life together and have a young son. She is at her wits end with my struggles with my sexuality. I just want to know if any other bisexual guys are the same and how do you cope? I find not viewing images or porn of attractive Asian guys helps because it lowers my desire for them. But I can’t help fear that I would be better with an Asian guy and embracing it may help the emotion come. But I don’t want to lose my life and my family on a whim. As you can see, my mind goes back and forth. In short, if there are any bisexual guys who are similar or gone through something similar, I would love to know your thoughts.

ZacOliver Struggling with my faith
  • replies: 3

Im a male 31 year old I’m a Christian and love God so much all my life Im BI sexual but mostly lean towards gay probably am gay but scared to admit it I’ve never been in a relationship my church teaches u can be born gay but it’s a sin so u must stay... View more

Im a male 31 year old I’m a Christian and love God so much all my life Im BI sexual but mostly lean towards gay probably am gay but scared to admit it I’ve never been in a relationship my church teaches u can be born gay but it’s a sin so u must stay single I had a breakdown a year ago and came out to a friend he was so supportive and I don’t know if I would be alive without him I’ve since told one other friend he too was supportive i grew up with a homophobic dad that called it vile and said some very horrible stuff and had been mentally abusive he took off after I finished school I knew I liked guys since yr 9 and hated that part of myself l had crushes on guys and felt so guilty I wanted to die especially seeing that my dad though it was vile school was so hard I managed to be okay after school and ignore that part of me for years then I had a bad case of depression after I had a crush for a guy friend and after bottling it up for years it all boiled over and I had my breakdown I tried to come out to my mum who I love so much we been through allot together she said all the right things but as soon as I saw a bit of hesitation from her I got scared and backpedaled saying I’m just lonely and confused never wanted a boyfriend I’m just so scared to tell her if she knew I’ll be happy to be out and proud but what if she says no I love her so much I get so angry all the time at work and home and this is why I’m so scared to meet with other lgbtq people in fear of being outed it has got so much better since I came out to my friend who told me I need to stop hating myself and be free I was just looking for advice and to air it all out

BooAndBear Lesbian. I want a baby. Relationship doubts
  • replies: 4

I have been in a relationship with the same women since my teen years and we are now both reaching closer to 30. We have spoken a lot about having kids together. But I'm not sure if I want a baby with a women anymore.. I think I am scared to be a les... View more

I have been in a relationship with the same women since my teen years and we are now both reaching closer to 30. We have spoken a lot about having kids together. But I'm not sure if I want a baby with a women anymore.. I think I am scared to be a lesbian parent. I sometimes think that if I was to date a man and have a baby, somehow it would be easier. I am confused and conflicted. We are going through somewhat of a rough patch and I don't know if im causing the problems because of my thoughts or if the problems are the cause of my thoughts. And it's not something I can openly talk to my partner about. I don't understand why I feel this way, I love my partner so so much and I always considered myself a proud lesbian,, but the thought of being lesbian parents terrifies me

Guest_10025 About time I find out who or where I fit in
  • replies: 1

(57M 157cm 107kg) I have been struggling with my gender association all my life. I've tried the straight way, and the gay way but each way I felt I forced myself and felt uncomfortable. From a young age through adulthood, I tried both, it felt like s... View more

(57M 157cm 107kg) I have been struggling with my gender association all my life. I've tried the straight way, and the gay way but each way I felt I forced myself and felt uncomfortable. From a young age through adulthood, I tried both, it felt like something was off. I've had trouble with kissing and feeling romantic, I think I may have a past trauma or something unbalanced in my head. Deep down I felt torn between male and female thoughts, someone said I may be trans, not long ago. I have no attraction to either sex, but when I see a woman walking nearby I see how she walks and dresses, not in a stalker way but fantasize I am them, as for guys I think differently, either as friends with sexual desires or they seduce me. I'm a mad mixture, which I can't focus on what. Some days that dreaded black dog makes me think crazy things, but that's when my mind imagines ideas and I write stories about them. Now I have found a new sexuality and it fits most boxes of my make-up but not all. Autosexuality. I've lived in imagination throughout my life, even written sexual stories in forums in the past, I imagine I am what I'm writing. I live more for a sexual imagination and fantasy rather than human contact. One thing Autosexual people do that I don't is, I'm not in love with myself. Where the hell do I fit in this world, and will I find out before my time on comes to an end (not talking suicidal)?

Guest_35246812 Struggling with being attracted to the same sex while also being a Christian.
  • replies: 3

I identify as a Christian, and my faith is very important to me. I want to be honest and authentic with the people around me, but I struggle with my sexuality. I often don’t want to talk about being gay, but I also don’t want people to assume things,... View more

I identify as a Christian, and my faith is very important to me. I want to be honest and authentic with the people around me, but I struggle with my sexuality. I often don’t want to talk about being gay, but I also don’t want people to assume things, even if they usually guess correctly. My closest friends have said, "It’s not hard to tell about you." Growing up, I didn't have straight male friends because most guys were homophobic. This made me think that all straight guys disliked gay people. However, when I started getting more involved with my wider church denomination, I felt accepted. I made real friendships with straight guys who never questioned my sexuality, and that made me feel free. I'm now at a uni, where most students are Christian and I’ve never felt safer or more comfortable. Most of the negativity I've faced has come from outside the church or even from some distant family members - that really shocks me. My close friend group here at uni is made up of straight guys, and even though we’ve never talked about me being same sex attracted, I still feel secure with them. I haven’t come out to my parents, but I know they love me. I'm just struggling with having to come out when straight people don’t have to. I’m a social person with a big personality and often banter around with everyone, but lately, I’ve started growing crushes on straight guys who have bantered back with me. One guy, in particular, has caught my attention, but I just found out he’s also "talking" to 2 other girls, and that made me feel kinda stupid. I want to stay strong in my Christian faith, but I can’t turn off my feelings. I’m not sure what to do next and would appreciate advice from people who have been in similar situations. PS sorry if this was all over the place!

Earth Girl Feel like I guilt-tripped myself into becoming more bisexual
  • replies: 8

During my school years, I was mostly straight. I occasionally had moments of confusion when around other girls, but it was very mild and didn't last long. I use to use a forum and people from school somehow found my search history and so they started... View more

During my school years, I was mostly straight. I occasionally had moments of confusion when around other girls, but it was very mild and didn't last long. I use to use a forum and people from school somehow found my search history and so they started thinking I must be gay because I only looked up "lesbian type of things", but I didn't want to do those things in real life. I could walk right past other girls back then and have no attraction to them what so ever. A couple years after school I think it was, I was looking back through some stuff that people were saying about me on there (e.g. she would only date pretty girls to try to get popular) or that I was just after something sexual (even though I didn't want to do those things in real life), but all this made me feel bad so I tried to be more open minded and tried to feel attracted to other girls in an emotional way instead of just admiring the emotional side of other girls like what you do with friends, but then I started being wayyy to open minded and kept feeling mild attraction to a lot of other girls and it was just getting awkward so then I had to try to teach myself to calm down a bit and for the most part, I feel I've managed to get back to being mostly straight, but that bit of confusion that I barley use to have when I was younger is still there. I miss being mostly straight because it was easier and it was more true to how I really was, now I just have moments where I feel like I am going crazy. I don't have a problem with other people being bisexual or gay, but I just want to go back to how I was before. It's like I forced myself to feel a certain way somehow. I know it sounds crazy, but it's really how what happened feels to me. Does anyone know anyway I can "calm down" and go back to how I use to be before I guilt tripped myself? I wish I didn't use that site now, for a lot of reasons, but one of the reasons is because if I didn't, people wouldn't have thought I had that problem and then I could just live life in a more natural way instead of forcing things to the point where I feel like it's just gotten complicated.

Guest_08188120 Am I Gay or Trans
  • replies: 4

I'm confused!Am I Gay or Trans?I accepted that i was and am gay after all these years but the past few years and now I'm leaning more trans?help please

I'm confused!Am I Gay or Trans?I accepted that i was and am gay after all these years but the past few years and now I'm leaning more trans?help please

sbella02 How did you realise you were LGBTQIA+?
  • replies: 24

I've always replied to threads but never created one myself, so here goes. I have many queer friends, and I love hearing their stories about how and when they realised their sexuality. So I'm opening up the question to people: if you're comfortable s... View more

I've always replied to threads but never created one myself, so here goes. I have many queer friends, and I love hearing their stories about how and when they realised their sexuality. So I'm opening up the question to people: if you're comfortable sharing, when did you first realise you were part of the LGBTQIA+ community? I went to an all-girls school and never really had any contact with boys until I was about 14/15, but I never thought that experiencing attraction to girls was possible for me. When I was probably about 11 or 12, I remember that there was one girl in my class who was new, and I just really wanted to be her friend for some reason. I couldn't explain why, but I just really wanted her to like me and be friends with me. I've now recognised that this is a common experience for closeted queer women. It wasn't until I was 16 when I first started experiencing feelings towards a girl. I kept asking myself "is this a crush? these are feelings that I usually have towards boys, why am I feeling this towards a girl?". It was a strange time for me as I slowly came to realise that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't straight. I ended up coming out a year or two later to my sister, who is also queer. We had never really discussed our feelings towards the LGBTQIA+ community so didn't know how each other would react. But when one of us expressed our feelings, it was quite a pleasant surprise when the other one did too. I have since become quite open about my bisexuality. I have a little rainbow in my Instagram bio, I have many queer friends and we all like sharing in our attraction towards hot celebrities and our similar queer experiences. It's interesting that since I've immersed myself in the community, I've become quite enamoured with queer experiences, so much so that I intend to carry this passion into my career, and pursue it as a potential research avenue. I would love to work with children and adolescents in future, and to be able to be an advocate specifically for LGBTQIA+ children and teens would be so fulfilling. What's your experience of realising your identity? What's your story of coming out? I'd love to hear from fellow Beyond Blue LGBTQIA+ people. SB