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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 223

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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notsure Cross Dressing
  • replies: 2

Hi I am am older man now I have been married for over 40 years I was wearing girls clothing then women clothing before I was married. My wife wasn’t very happy with me when I told her but in time excepted my decision we even went clothes shopping tog... View more

Hi I am am older man now I have been married for over 40 years I was wearing girls clothing then women clothing before I was married. My wife wasn’t very happy with me when I told her but in time excepted my decision we even went clothes shopping together. But it was an around the house thing. But we had a situation recently that changed everything overnight I walked out in my nightie and stuff earrings and my daughter was there. Yes it was very embarrassing for al concerned. She has not spoken with for months also had to go away for a couple of weeks and when I came my wife had packed up all my women’s clothing. It is only her and myself at home. I really didn’t think I was hurting anyone they are clothes. Anyway I feel I have done nothing wrong I am surly not the only man in this position. I miss wearing women’s clothes but I don’t want to hurt anyone in my family.

Jay1962 Married and same sex attracted
  • replies: 1

Hi Married and Questioning Guy, I’m a married man in my 60s, living in Australia, and I’m quietly exploring a side of myself I’ve kept hidden for most of my life — my attraction to men. I’ve built a good life, been a devoted husband, and raised a fam... View more

Hi Married and Questioning Guy, I’m a married man in my 60s, living in Australia, and I’m quietly exploring a side of myself I’ve kept hidden for most of my life — my attraction to men. I’ve built a good life, been a devoted husband, and raised a family I love deeply, including an adult son. But for a long time now, I’ve felt a growing ache — not just for physical touch, but for emotional closeness and authentic connection with another man. I’m not here for hook-ups, porn, or anything reckless. I’m looking for understanding, conversation, maybe even friendship with other men who know what it’s like to live between two worlds — one built around love and loyalty, and another filled with quiet longing and questions. If this resonates with you — if you’ve been there, or are still there — I’d really appreciate hearing from you. Just to know I’m not alone, and maybe walk a little of this journey together. Thanks for reading.—Jay

Bi_guy 30 yo male, married, bisexual and scared - need help
  • replies: 19

Hi A bit of an introduction. I’m a married bisexual guy and have been with my wife for 10 years. I always knew I was bi-curious but was convinced I was straight because I mainly only had emotional crushes on girls. This all changed ages 27 when I rea... View more

Hi A bit of an introduction. I’m a married bisexual guy and have been with my wife for 10 years. I always knew I was bi-curious but was convinced I was straight because I mainly only had emotional crushes on girls. This all changed ages 27 when I realised I still had a strong sexual desire for guys, almost exclusively Asian guys. It took me another three years to be comfortable identifying as bisexual. My problem is that, I love my wife so much, but I can’t help find I am more sexually attracted to Asian guys. It plays on my mind and I find it hard long term to cope with my primary sexual desire not being my wife. But I am confused because I don’t have much emotional response to guys and I don’t see like I could be with a guy long term and grow old together. My wife and I have built a life together and have a young son. She is at her wits end with my struggles with my sexuality. I just want to know if any other bisexual guys are the same and how do you cope? I find not viewing images or porn of attractive Asian guys helps because it lowers my desire for them. But I can’t help fear that I would be better with an Asian guy and embracing it may help the emotion come. But I don’t want to lose my life and my family on a whim. As you can see, my mind goes back and forth. In short, if there are any bisexual guys who are similar or gone through something similar, I would love to know your thoughts.

Guest_60161145 Sexuality & religion
  • replies: 1

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my... View more

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my family they are like hella and obv I’m scared to tell them in the near future. Does anyone have any suggestions they can help me out with how I could have this conversation. I love my religion but also there are things that I disagree with such as obv not being able to be in same sex relationship. I’m always confused about that because if it feels right then why did god make me this way why is he letting me have deep feelings for my girlfriend. Can you anyone please help me out I’m always in stress about this and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my family or my girlfriend either.

Jennifer Didn't know I was in love before I lost the opportunity
  • replies: 1

Last year a friend visited. I like her a lot. Im demisexual and find it hard to interpret differences between romantic and platonic love (also autistic so that prob doesnt help). She visited and we flirted and kissed but I didn't know what I felt rea... View more

Last year a friend visited. I like her a lot. Im demisexual and find it hard to interpret differences between romantic and platonic love (also autistic so that prob doesnt help). She visited and we flirted and kissed but I didn't know what I felt really. Like...flirting was fun but I didn't know if it was love. I was also stressed because I know my mum would not approve (I'm 29 but live at home, mum and I are close and she's pretty good but still lacking when it comes to some queer issues). I think...after my friend went back home I realised I loved her. But during that time she began dating my best friend. In the process I feel like I've lost both of them. This year has been so hard as well for me, being abandoned by a lot of people, and it just hurts so much. We had a conversation and I think she had a crush on me as well. And I'm mad I missed my opportunity. Im so mad for the world that doesn't exist. Does anyone have tips for processing these feelings and getting to a point where I don't feel a pang of anguish when I'm with my friends?

Happy_Man When to tell you’re wife you’r gay 🤨
  • replies: 25

Just been reading these posts and thought, why not! I am so in love with the mother of my children, she is my best friend and a wonderful Mum/wife/friend. I need to tell her I am gay. Over the past 2+ years I have been struggerling with my sexuality ... View more

Just been reading these posts and thought, why not! I am so in love with the mother of my children, she is my best friend and a wonderful Mum/wife/friend. I need to tell her I am gay. Over the past 2+ years I have been struggerling with my sexuality most of the time and since I was a teenager. I have been with guys before I got married in the younger days, met the lady of my dreams and married/kids/dog etc. How did anyone tell the wife? I have an amazing family who will support me and my wife but how did you tell? I want to find the easiest way to break someone’s heart...... thanks for listening

Ash_music Gender Identity
  • replies: 17

This chat is for if your having an Identity crisis, or if your having trouble because of your gender

This chat is for if your having an Identity crisis, or if your having trouble because of your gender

ashi Coming out is a lot more difficult than I thought it'd be
  • replies: 6

I'm under 16 years old, biologically female, and I identify as transmasc. I do plan on transitioning when I can and have the money to, but right now, I really just want someone to call me by the name I want them to, or just use he/they pronouns inste... View more

I'm under 16 years old, biologically female, and I identify as transmasc. I do plan on transitioning when I can and have the money to, but right now, I really just want someone to call me by the name I want them to, or just use he/they pronouns instead of she/her.My school has a transgender support pin board, which helps me feel a bit more confident, that was until I heard a few of my friends comment things like "Ewww" or "Transgender week is over, why don't they take this down?" and even calling some of the transgender people ugly. I know they could just be joking, and I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have said that if they knew I was trans, but it hurts to know they would actually say that.My friends don't have anything against the LGBT+ community, some of them don't understand much of it but they've respected it, well, besides that situation mentioned before.I'm also worried about talking to the teachers, I've gotten along with most of them, and it makes me feel safe when I see the pride themed tag thing they wear, but I'm still not confident enough to go up to them and say "Hey, sorry to bother you, but during class can you call me ### instead of ###?", if they comply, then it would be awkward to talk to my friends if they notice and ask why the teachers call me that instead of my supposed name.Most importantly though, I'm 80% my parents would hate me if I told them I was trans, my mom is somewhat open to the LGBTQ+ community, though again, she's not very well educated in that, but she's had some strong beliefs in how woman or men should act, and she strongly believes I'm a strong woman, which is great, but how am I going to go and tell her "Sorry mom, but I identify as male" and just kinda break what image she conjured of me? My dad is complicated, I doubt he hates the LGBTQ+ community, but I also doubt he'll be okay with me being trans. My parents are currently divorced, my mom lives in China while I live in Australia with my dad, so if my dad kicks me out, there's not much I can do.The help I'm asking for here though, is should I come out to my friends and/or my teachers? I feel like it would be a big step forwards, but maybe too big.

Nia Lesbian or bi
  • replies: 1

I've known for almost 4 years now that I liked girls and it took me around 2 years to fully accept that part of myself and identify as bi. After a while I started to realise I wasn't really interested in guys and decided I was probably lesbian and I ... View more

I've known for almost 4 years now that I liked girls and it took me around 2 years to fully accept that part of myself and identify as bi. After a while I started to realise I wasn't really interested in guys and decided I was probably lesbian and I have been identifying with that for the past year. However every so often I go down a rabbit hole of trying to re-figure out whether I'm lesbian or bi (even though I haven't been interested in guys at all, and dont really picture myself wanting to marry one, i just find some attractive). Each time I conclude that I'm a lesbian once again, but it stresses me out so much to the point where it is all I think about for those nect few days. I don't know why this keeps happening. Am I actually bi, or am I just a lesbian who keeps overthinking things??? I understand I'm still young (turning 17 this year) and I have lots of time to figure things out but it just sucks when I think I finally know who I am and then my mind puts doubts every two months or so

TheoWulf Tips for a gay, hopeless romantic
  • replies: 6

Hello, world. I've grown into high school as a hopeless romantic. I'm constantly longing for some form of relationship, as I have a couple of friends who fell in love and it's made me kinda jealous. However, my big problem is that I'm gay in a Christ... View more

Hello, world. I've grown into high school as a hopeless romantic. I'm constantly longing for some form of relationship, as I have a couple of friends who fell in love and it's made me kinda jealous. However, my big problem is that I'm gay in a Christian school, meaning my sexuality is kind of against what the teachers and the school overall says. Plus, I'm only two years into teenagehood. What should I figure out first? Am I mentally ready to start something? How will my friends react? Theo.