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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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DD72 my fiance is gay - or is he?
  • replies: 4

I feel like I'm going crazy and I don't know what to do. I have been with this man for 10 years and love him with my whole heart. But some six months after proposing to me, he came to me and told me he was gay. I was inconsolable and sobbed and sobbe... View more

I feel like I'm going crazy and I don't know what to do. I have been with this man for 10 years and love him with my whole heart. But some six months after proposing to me, he came to me and told me he was gay. I was inconsolable and sobbed and sobbed, the next morning (it can take me a while for bad news to really sink in). He came and held me, and said he loved me and didn't want to leave. Then he said he wasn't really gay, that he was only bisexual - which I thought he was, already. Fast forward a few months, and things aren't good. I thought we were making it work, but despite maintaining a pretty hot sex life, there has been tension between us. And lots and lots of arguments. I swear I don't start them all, at least not deliberately. Sometimes, all it takes is the wrong look that I give him, or I try to hug him and he pushes me away. He has also been taking more and more time to spend away from me with his gay friends. Always for 4 days at a stretch. He works as a FIFO worker, so he's usually gone from home half the time anyway. Now, it is worse. I've never been a clingy person, I'm an introvert with my own interests, but I miss him so much. This last weekend, after a tense week, he again insisted on spending 4 days away with his gay friends and a lover whom he loves (he admitted this). For the first 3 days he didn't call me, he just texted. I don't understand that, it is very hurtful. After mulling things over, realizing that I'm constantly suffering hurt, and realizing how much I hated him being away again, I decided I must end things. But telling him proved difficult. He got defensive, angry, tried to blame me for many things. What's worse, I now feel like I am making a mistake. I shouldn't feel like that. The way he has been talking to me and acting around me, is simply not the way one acts toward the person they profess to love. I can't continue living like that, and I know it. Nothing else really matters. So, why do I keep doubting myself?

Ellaminowpea Talking to a parent about gender
  • replies: 1

I am struggling to talk to my mum about gender dysphoria and being trans. I don't have any siblings and I have a single mum, so there isn't anyone else that I feel close enough to talk to. I'm worried that she'll just say that it's normal for kids my... View more

I am struggling to talk to my mum about gender dysphoria and being trans. I don't have any siblings and I have a single mum, so there isn't anyone else that I feel close enough to talk to. I'm worried that she'll just say that it's normal for kids my age, as I'm almost 13. How do I talk to her about it while telling her that I'm sure about this?

0101 Trans wanting to come out
  • replies: 4

I'm 15 and for the past 2 years I've had thoughts that I'm trans(FTM). I didn't even think about coming out to anyone as it seems really overwhelming, but my dysphoria has been getting worse and worse and I've starting having suicidal thoughts. So I ... View more

I'm 15 and for the past 2 years I've had thoughts that I'm trans(FTM). I didn't even think about coming out to anyone as it seems really overwhelming, but my dysphoria has been getting worse and worse and I've starting having suicidal thoughts. So I really want to come out but my parents are pretty conservative in the way they wouldn't know a single trans person or much of the language surrounding trans people, and most of my close friends are cis het and I can imagine they would stop talking to me if I came out to them. Telling people on here helps but I still don't know what to do. I feel like coming out as trans is just so much more complicated than telling people your sexuality (I'm bi).

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Lgos Parent of gay child feeling sad
  • replies: 7

Hi there, I'm new to BB. I've read a few posts and it seems we have a wonderful world of beautiful help out there... so I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. My story goes like this..in December I stumbled across some communications between my ... View more

Hi there, I'm new to BB. I've read a few posts and it seems we have a wonderful world of beautiful help out there... so I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. My story goes like this..in December I stumbled across some communications between my 21 year old daughter and one of her best friends, of a sexual nature. Whoa, first shock. she has had a couple of boyfriends and for the last 3 yrs was pretty much in love with another guy. I know she longed for something to happen with him. She always shared her thoughts with me. So, come January, I confronted her about the relationship with the girl friend. She told me it just happened and I think it was a shock for her too. She told me that she pictures herself having a husband and children and she is definitely not gay. So let's skip to now, April. She is still with her friend. How am I coping.. Not well. I don't want sympathy, I'm just finding this really hard. I have a good husband, supportive wise and I know my daughter is really happy so I'm glad for her. There are four of us living here, my daughter has explicitly asked me not to tell her sister, she's 18. My husband has never once had a conversation about anything, he just hugs and loves her. The secrecy, I feel like our relationship is just sooo bad now. She is a big softy like me and can't handle seeing me struggling with this so she is just living her life. She hangs out at her friends house, I guess she feels safe there. We have had 3 conversations only since December and the last one she just got so angry with me and told me to get over it! I've read 3 books, I'm re-reading them now, I go to a counsellor every few weeks and at the moment I am pretty much making my families life miserable. The silence of this subject in my house is killing me and the beautiful relationship we had. Due to my ever so slowwwww acceptance of her choice, I'm feeling like I am completely sabotaging our relationship singlehandedly. I don't know how to talk about it with her anymore.. can anyone give me some constructive advice? It's like I need someone holding my hand whilst I say to her "you know I love you so much and I need you to help me through this". It sounds so selfish of me, she too I believe must be having her own issues but she is also very happy. I just don't know how to take the simple step of trying to talk to her, the last time turned into a complete disaster. If you think you can help I'd appreciate your thoughts. L xx

Captain T Discovering I’m Asexual.
  • replies: 4

So I have discovered that I am asexual. It explains a lot of my life. I don’t see myself with a partner and never have. I don’t get any enjoyment from sex and don’t care to ever do it again. I have had some female friendships where our closeness has ... View more

So I have discovered that I am asexual. It explains a lot of my life. I don’t see myself with a partner and never have. I don’t get any enjoyment from sex and don’t care to ever do it again. I have had some female friendships where our closeness has lead to experimentation and I have found that nice and comforting. So I did question am I a lesbian but no. I don’t find men or women attractive. I feel at peace that I understand why I don’t feel like the ‘society norm’ While I know there is no such thing but the generalisation is there. Anyway I just feel that I want to put it out there.

lew Sexuality - Unsure what to do
  • replies: 1

Abit about my situation - I've been sexually attracted to men in the past, however I'm also sexually attracted to women's bodies. There has been time when I've had alot of sexual tension to men who ignite my intellectual and physical desire, however ... View more

Abit about my situation - I've been sexually attracted to men in the past, however I'm also sexually attracted to women's bodies. There has been time when I've had alot of sexual tension to men who ignite my intellectual and physical desire, however I like women too but haven't fully accepted that part of me yet and haven't come to terms with it fully. The problem is that I met a man who is very sweet and kind hearted, he has done so much for me and eventually fell in love with me, however I didn't have the same feelings for him and the attraction just wasn't there (no intellectual or physical attraction). I told him that I was bi-sexual and he knows that I like women, however he wanted to take things further and I freaked out, so we decided to end things. I feel so bad in letting him down and upsetting him though as he really cared about me - what do I do?

ceres in love with my best friend
  • replies: 11

I am a bisexual girl in high school, and I think I am in love with my best friend. I am *pretty* sure that she is gay; she's said some things that make it quite obvious, but since she hasn't technically come out to me, I'm can't be completely sure. I... View more

I am a bisexual girl in high school, and I think I am in love with my best friend. I am *pretty* sure that she is gay; she's said some things that make it quite obvious, but since she hasn't technically come out to me, I'm can't be completely sure. I only started liking her this year, but we've been friends for four years now, and we're really close. I would rather be her friend than be nothing at all, and I'm afraid that if I talk to her about it, and the feeling isn't reciprocated, it won't be the same between us. To complicate things further, me, her and another girl are a trio friendship group, and I'm concerned that if we do get together, the dynamic in our group will change in a bad way. Also, what if we break up and then we aren't friends? I just don't know what to do. do nothing? tell her? I'm not sure if I could deal with being rejected by her, but I really want to be with her in a romantic way. any advice would be appreciated!

Guest_15316039 Sort of in the closet?
  • replies: 3

I'm bisexual, and a couple of my friends know. But the issue is they act homophobic and it makes me really uncomfortable. It's not like a daily thing, more like small comments, but it still makes me conflicted on whether I should really be friends wi... View more

I'm bisexual, and a couple of my friends know. But the issue is they act homophobic and it makes me really uncomfortable. It's not like a daily thing, more like small comments, but it still makes me conflicted on whether I should really be friends with them. Also on two occasions one friend asked me (more like whispered) " are you still... you know? bi? " and I felt really upset because they think of my sexuality as a phase and not a part of me. Like out of all the things on this earth, people chose to hate on love????

JLSK Same sex husband...initially
  • replies: 1

My husband and i have been married for a little over a year. I identify as a gay male but have been labelled by others as a pansexual because I have been able to have relationships and intercourse with women. Recently my husband has come out as non-b... View more

My husband and i have been married for a little over a year. I identify as a gay male but have been labelled by others as a pansexual because I have been able to have relationships and intercourse with women. Recently my husband has come out as non-binary. Not going into unnecessary detail it feels as if my husband has made this grand statement publicly and i am to just deal with it and field questions from our families and friends as they are too scared to ask my husband in fear of insulting or i am bigoted or just see things in black and white (his words) I try my best to understand however when i try to discuss with my husband how they have come to this conclusion i am met with mild hostility, made to feel i am ignorant and my feelings are unfounded and told i see everything in black and white. I am several years older than my husband and understand there are things about the modern world i need to learn, which i am try. All research on this matter though i find geared to the non-binary individual and how i can be more understanding and accepting/supportive. I fought hard with other gay and lesbian people through the last decade to have the right to marry another man (or woman) in this country and for that i am very proud. Now i feel i am no longer married to a man as i am not able to use that term, or other masculine terms beyond husband (which is confusing in itself). The only reason i can ascertain from speaking with my husband is that his single mother who raised him instilled a negative perception of men and what it is to be male. More to this i was born intersex and underwent over 36 reconstructive surgeries to endure that i was male and be accepted by society at that time. Please, anyone help. I dont want my marriage to crumble or create a toxic and volatile home life.