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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Winesue Coming out advice needed, scared as to what the consequences will be.
  • replies: 9

I (Male, 19) want to come out and start looking for a partner of the same sex. I “found out” I was bisexual when I was 16 and more or less accepted I wasn’t straight when I was 18. I went to a mostly Christian school, grew up in a mostly Christian fa... View more

I (Male, 19) want to come out and start looking for a partner of the same sex. I “found out” I was bisexual when I was 16 and more or less accepted I wasn’t straight when I was 18. I went to a mostly Christian school, grew up in a mostly Christian family, and as a result, many of the people in my life that I am close with are both very religious and straight. I have wanted to come out for the better part of a year now, especially since starting university, but I’m extremely worried that my friends and family will either be hurt by it, or socially ostracise me.Several of my friends have begun dating and are directly asking me why I’m so awkward about looking for a partner. My fear is that they would not accept me if I got together with a guy, meaning I would loose people who genuinely mean the world to me. I already have a pretty rocky relationship with most of my family for reasons I don’t want to get into here, and I’m genuinely scared me coming out would be the killing blow of me being a part of their lives. At the same time however, I’m really eger to start dating and feel like I’m denying myself something I need in order to make other people happy (not helped by work and my uni workload).I should probably also mention that I’ve never told or even hinted that I’m bisexual to anyone. Everyone, including my Mum, is under the assumption that I’m straight and just burying myself in work and study (the study part is partially true lmfao). I have this fear that they think I should have “figured out what I like by now” and that they would be shocked or dismissive of me contradicting that internal head-cannon.I’m at a complete loss as to what to do, hoping some people here have had similar experiences and can help me rationalise all this.

Tex32 Realising I’m Gay
  • replies: 2

For a long time I’ve identified as bisexual, but recently I believe I’m gay. Realising this at 44 has been quite difficult. All my friends are married with children so they have their hands full with that. There’s no question any of them would ‘disow... View more

For a long time I’ve identified as bisexual, but recently I believe I’m gay. Realising this at 44 has been quite difficult. All my friends are married with children so they have their hands full with that. There’s no question any of them would ‘disown’ me so to speak but I don’t have anyone to talk to for support

Captain T Asexual with lesbian tendencies
  • replies: 5

Hi all Im a little confused as to how I feel. Some deep soul searching and I know that I am asexual. I’m not interested in sex. But I like the closeness of a female relationship, not that I’m sure I want that. Is this possible or do I have everything... View more

Hi all Im a little confused as to how I feel. Some deep soul searching and I know that I am asexual. I’m not interested in sex. But I like the closeness of a female relationship, not that I’m sure I want that. Is this possible or do I have everything all wrong?

Guest_86582300 Moiety
  • replies: 1

Hi, I recently came upon a piece of info on First Australian 'Moiety' culture, which stipulates that a mother-in-law and son-in-law cannot share the same space, e.g. in a room or inside a car.Could you tell me if there is a similar restriction betwee... View more

Hi, I recently came upon a piece of info on First Australian 'Moiety' culture, which stipulates that a mother-in-law and son-in-law cannot share the same space, e.g. in a room or inside a car.Could you tell me if there is a similar restriction between father-in-law and daughter-in-law?Thanks!

60Incon_ Incont, Brain Disease Man
  • replies: 3

I wear nappies +inserts ,wipes spare plastic pants. Getting massaged with her bringing everymasues 1by1Gawking giggling her joking while exposing my tape up nappy +plastic pants/new nappy on the floor.

I wear nappies +inserts ,wipes spare plastic pants. Getting massaged with her bringing everymasues 1by1Gawking giggling her joking while exposing my tape up nappy +plastic pants/new nappy on the floor.

Anonymous_28 Sexuality confusion (Lesbian/bi and aro-ace suspicions)
  • replies: 3

I'm struggling to identify my sexuality and feel unsure about it. I suspect I might be aromantic-asexual, lesbian, or bisexual. I'm a 14-year-old female living in Australia. I hadn't experienced any romantic or sexual attraction until recently, excep... View more

I'm struggling to identify my sexuality and feel unsure about it. I suspect I might be aromantic-asexual, lesbian, or bisexual. I'm a 14-year-old female living in Australia. I hadn't experienced any romantic or sexual attraction until recently, except for a minor crush on a girl in sixth grade, which I never though much of. I've always supported the LGBTQ+ community, but assumed I'd be straight. My family supports LGBTQ+, though some of them find it strange.About 2-4 months ago, I developed feelings for a girl in many of my classes. Despite being introverted and socially anxious, I spoke with her, and we became loose friends. I idolized her; she's pretty, athletic, academically talented, intelligent, outgoing, and kind. She grew up in a loving environment and doesn't struggle with mental health issues.I don't get along well with my parents. They aren't abusive but can be toxic, so I avoid speaking to them. I have poor mental health, self-diagnosed depression, and social anxiety. With my declining mental health, bad relationship with my parents, and social awkwardness, I felt inadequate next to this girl.It was an obsessive crush. I stalked her socials, took every opportunity to hang out with her, and made a massive effort to be good enough for her.I realized it was more than platonic when I found her shockingly beautiful and imagined intimate situations with her. I had no desire to kiss her or any sexual feelings, which might be due to my age, but I suspect I'm somewhat aro-ace. To me, having a crush means wanting to be somewhere between friends and lovers, like snuggling and having romantic moments without sexual aspects. I’m also uninterested in kissing as far as I’m aware.I recently discovered the concept of a Queer Platonic Relationship (QPR), which fits what I'm feeling. I prefer telling people I want a QPR rather than saying I'm aro-ace, as I do crave some romantic interactions. I feel invalid, especially because I'm only 14. Maybe it’s just a phase, and it was just an obsessive platonic thing. It seems like most people are straight, and I can't even describe my sexuality in a word or phrase. I think I'm lesbian, but I might be bisexual or pansexual. I don't want sexual aspects in a relationship but want some romantic gestures. I'm unsure whether to come out. I'm still figuring things out and worry people will hate me or think it's just a phase. I don't know if I should come out or casually mention it. Is coming out making it a big deal, and is casually mentioning it overconfident? Is it bad to keep it a secret from my friends, or should I wait until I feel ready? I'm also unsure if I'm lesbian, bi, or pansexual. I've never had a crush on a guy in real life, but I've only had two crushes. If asked about a good-looking celebrity, I'd think of male celebrities rather than females. It's confusing, and I'm unsure. Any help and support would be much appreciated. Thanks so much x

7584883 My crush potentially suppressing his feelings for me
  • replies: 3

I’m a guy in high school and I’d like to get some advice about a crush that i have had for a long time now.For months now he’s been approaching me in school for the most random reasons. In the early days of knowing him he asked me if I was gay, and I... View more

I’m a guy in high school and I’d like to get some advice about a crush that i have had for a long time now.For months now he’s been approaching me in school for the most random reasons. In the early days of knowing him he asked me if I was gay, and I was really uncomfortable cause it was so unexpected and I was only out to one of my friends, but I came out to him cause I didn’t want to lie, and then it was really awkward cause I didn’t understand why he asked. He’s completely unaware of it but since he asked me if I was gay I’ve been able to come out to many people through him because he sometimes asks about being gay or jokingly mentions something about me being gay in front of people, so he feels really important to me in that sense. I’ve grown a crush for him, but I’m really uncertain about how he feels about me. I think he might be bisexual and maybe not completely aware of his feelings towards me. Like many people have told me that he has a “weird obsession” with me cause he always forces conversations out of with me, which I think could be him crushing on me? but I fear that he’s using his religion to suppress those feelings. He comes from a very religious family so they could definitely be against the idea of homosexuality and so he’d have bad internalised homophobia. And he has said some off putting things to me that kinda showed internalised homophobia but he apologised after and it seemed like he really cared about how he made me feel? I also feel really pressured to present myself as someone good enough to come out for, but then I hear girls are talking with him and I get really depressed about it cause i feel hopeless. And because of this crush, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the many times that I’ve been bullied for being gay, and i think the bullying I’ve experienced has influenced the way I act with him, which may make it harder for him to read me well?

Siennad23 I’m in love with my best friend (same gender)
  • replies: 3

2 years ago, in my last year of high school I developed a crush on one of my friends. At first I just thought I just enjoyed spending time with her until I realised it was real feelings (my bisexual awakening). I put in so much effort to always hang ... View more

2 years ago, in my last year of high school I developed a crush on one of my friends. At first I just thought I just enjoyed spending time with her until I realised it was real feelings (my bisexual awakening). I put in so much effort to always hang out with her that once high school ended we were because even closer and best friends (she didn’t know I had feelings for her). Fast forward a year later, we are still really close friends but our friendship became super toxic because I would always get super jealous and always started arguments because I felt she never put in effort into the friendship, when in reality I just set unrealistic expectations because I was so in love and wanted her to appreciate me the way I appreciated her. Anyway a year and a half after I started to like her, I told her that I had feelings for her in high school (we were still best friends at this stage and would text everyday and see each other so often), she said she always knew I had feelings for her but she obvs didn’t feel the same way back which I knew (there was another girl present when we had this convo. Remember her she comes in again later). Deep down she knew I was in love with her all this time. A couple months after this conversation a whole group of my friends went away on a holiday and the girl I like AND THE OTHER GIRL THAT KNEW I LIKED HER THAT WAS THERE WHEN WE HAD THAT CONVERSATION, HAD SEX. The other girl who knew I liked her said to her friend “I knew she liked her but I didn’t give a f*ck”. I was heart broken because they both knew I had feelings for this one girl. Fast forward 6 months later I’m still so heart broken and it’s so hard to get past this because we are all in the sane friendship group. They had sex because they were super drunk and they said it was a one time thing but I just can’t get past it. I don’t know what else to do. Now me and the girl who I had feelings for not only did that happen but I lost her as a best friend and with the other girl I can’t even look at her but have to fake be her friend for the sake of the group AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW I CAN GET PAST THIS BECAUSE WE ARE IN THE SAME FRIEND GROUP and I will just always be in love with her. I need advice on how to get past this because it’s been six months and I’m still so heartbroken and can’t get over how they did this to me.

Guest_9965 I don't know who I am
  • replies: 3

I am 14 and I live in Australia for as long as I can remember I have been a lesbian I didn't really know a name for it but I new I liked women. recently I thought I might be Asexual but that name doesn't quite fit right. then I thought I might be dem... View more

I am 14 and I live in Australia for as long as I can remember I have been a lesbian I didn't really know a name for it but I new I liked women. recently I thought I might be Asexual but that name doesn't quite fit right. then I thought I might be demisexual but that didn't feel right either. I know I like women and not men but I don't actually know if I like women or if I have just told myself that for so long that I think that I do. I have never dated someone or even had a crush before so if anyone has any ideas please help.

Riggybee Questioning
  • replies: 6

Hi I'm 15 yo girl and really struggling with my sexuality. For the last year I've noticed being attracted to girls, and in early primary school I had a crush on a girl, but before now only liked boys and am still awkward around them. I'm really into ... View more

Hi I'm 15 yo girl and really struggling with my sexuality. For the last year I've noticed being attracted to girls, and in early primary school I had a crush on a girl, but before now only liked boys and am still awkward around them. I'm really into LGBT books and films as well. I can't imagine being with a guy but not sure if I'm a lesbian? I'm really anxious/confused about whether I'm just 'experimenting' or actually like woman and don't know what to tell my parents and friends. Is there a subtle way to come out? Help!