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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Trans22 Blaming the victim (myself)
  • replies: 4

This post probably belongs in Trauma & PTSD thread but that space may not be safe for people like me.I've sought help from many mental health professionals, since Jun-2022, in relation to my complex trauma & CPTSD. I've heard many comments/suggestion... View more

This post probably belongs in Trauma & PTSD thread but that space may not be safe for people like me.I've sought help from many mental health professionals, since Jun-2022, in relation to my complex trauma & CPTSD. I've heard many comments/suggestions along the lines of "stop blaming yourself" or "shame & guilt are the wrong emotions". In my case, every element of external trauma in my life can be traced back to my being born different - my "abnormal" sexual biology & my being a trans girl/woman. I will note that the former has led to my experiencing passing privilege before HRT (someone described this as a "trans god-roll"), but it doesn't even come close to making up for 4 decades of trauma & exclusion. There is no doubt that I failed at boy/man and my body failed at male. I've recently discovered that I also failed at sexuality (the AroAce label seems to fit me).Does anyone have any success stories to share that might help me (to stop blaming myself)?

RedGracie My Husband has Gender Dysphoria
  • replies: 9

A year ago my husband told me he likes to wear woman’s cloths. He kept this secret from me for 9 years and I know it was hard for him to tell me and he felt ashamed but I felt and still feel so betrayed that he kept this from me. At the time I asked ... View more

A year ago my husband told me he likes to wear woman’s cloths. He kept this secret from me for 9 years and I know it was hard for him to tell me and he felt ashamed but I felt and still feel so betrayed that he kept this from me. At the time I asked all the questions; are you gay? Do you want to me female? Etc he answered no to both. A month ago he tells me he is now confused about his gender and as of last week has gender dysphoria. He’s going to counseling to try to figure everything out. I do want him to be happy but I don’t know how to deal with this. We hardly talk, no intimacy for over a year and can barely look at each other. I can’t carry on like this. He says he still loves me but I think that’s more of a familiar love than as someone should love a wife. And I don’t love him like a husband now, I can’t love a man who doesn’t know if he wants to be a man now. He’s changed so much and is not the person I married. Im at a total loss of what to do, if we split up there’s finances and pets. If we stay I am in a loveless marriage to a man who can’t touch me and I need to feel wanted as selfish as that may sound. I’ve considered breaching open marriage with him but I don’t know how to say this. Everything is so messed up, I feel alone with no one to talk to. It can’t carry on like this. If anyone has been through this or has any advice I would appreciate it more than you realise.

Guest_68072773 What do you all think?
  • replies: 1

Here is a timeline of what I've experienced over the past few months Late december: On a call with a friend and we are talking and playing online games and I say "don't f*** with me" as we were playing FPS games (first person shooter games) and I hea... View more

Here is a timeline of what I've experienced over the past few months Late december: On a call with a friend and we are talking and playing online games and I say "don't f*** with me" as we were playing FPS games (first person shooter games) and I hear is brother (who was my best friend) say that in a very low voice "I would". This disturbed me and I started to think does he like me? I've always been a religious person who was conservative values, especially at my age. And I start to think "am I into him?" And that persisted over 2-3 weeks and I avoided him when school started and the thought went away. And the thought of me being attracted to him made me feel yucky and really disturbed so this is how I knew I wasn't gay or anything of that nature. Mid febraury: (Gotten past over the events of december but still avoiding this person) My brother and I contract covid and we isolate for 4 days. I remember talking to him one night and the topic of my crush (who I've like for over 1 year) came up and how my friends were calling me "gay" because I couldn't speak to that girl. I went to sleep questioning whether or not I am gay. Late march: Been suffering constant intrusive thoughts about "whether or not I am gay". At this point I've practically ghosted my friends that called me gay. I'm on this chat with friends and friends of mutual friends and there is this one particular person of the same sex who has opened up to me in the past about his feelings for me and (idk if this was the right response or not) I rejected him and didn't think squat about it. Now I see him message all of a sudden and this feeling of doubt and stress fills me. I've been in this chat with him for around a few weeks and this never happened and (I wish I was never there) now I feel this weird feeling whenever I see him. It's like the feeling of attraction but instead of the happiness and joy that I feel towards this crush of mine I feel a sense of dread and shame. Ontop of this weird feeling of attraction like this one and the one from february I feel my attraction to my crush and the opposite sex fade away, and only in rare moments do I feel strongly attracted to my crush. I develop the same feelings towards a few of my male friends (like the one I explained above) but it goes away over the course of day/s or week/s. April: Shit hits the fan. I still feel these feelings, I still get the intrusive thougths of whether or not I am gay or am I in denial all that stuff. I suffer a panic attack.

Guest_78557685 Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

I’m a gay male I had a friend who was straight he was my best mate we shared secrets together and were always there for one another but also had a little fun on the side. Recently he’s mates found out that he were best friends and found out that ther... View more

I’m a gay male I had a friend who was straight he was my best mate we shared secrets together and were always there for one another but also had a little fun on the side. Recently he’s mates found out that he were best friends and found out that there was stuff happening between us now every one knows he’s gone and told everyone that our friendship was all base on lies and he was only my friend because I was blackmailing him. None of this is true I’m heart broken I know our friendship was real for him to say what he has said has really taken a big impact on my mental health he as also gone to the police because I just wanted to know the truth and now the police have placed an advo against me I feel lost I haven’t been to work since this has happened I just don’t know what to do all I want to do is talk to the guy he was my best friend and now I feel like I have no one

Anonymous_As_Usual Really don't know what I am at this point?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I'm kinda confused about what exactly I am... I don't really think that dating actually sounds interesting, even if other people think it's fun, it's just kinda strange to me, with being so embarrassed about saying a name for whoever you like and... View more

Hi, I'm kinda confused about what exactly I am... I don't really think that dating actually sounds interesting, even if other people think it's fun, it's just kinda strange to me, with being so embarrassed about saying a name for whoever you like and I'll be happy for the people that fall in love and all that, but being so dramatic about not getting a text? I feel like maybe I'm missing something, and I've kind of gone from straight and not knowing about lgbtqia+ to bi to les to pan to bi again and then I think I'm just aroace, has anyone else felt like this or been through things like this? I would really like to know what exactly I am, if anyone can help me.

Luke84 Gender Dysphoria, what do I do?
  • replies: 11

I’m lost… I’ve been married for 15 years, we have a 14 year old daughter and now for some reason I feel stronger than ever about my gender dysphoria.It’s not like it’s a sudden occurrence, I’ve felt this way for as long as I can remember, maybe aroun... View more

I’m lost… I’ve been married for 15 years, we have a 14 year old daughter and now for some reason I feel stronger than ever about my gender dysphoria.It’s not like it’s a sudden occurrence, I’ve felt this way for as long as I can remember, maybe around 13 or 14, but growing up in a more traditional family I just pushed it to the side and thought I was just a weirdo for thinking that about myself. I had girlfriends and I do like women, I just tried to do what I thought I was supposed to do throughout life.Before I knew it I was married and a year later we had a daughter.Every year or so I have a relapse and get a strong desire to be more feminine but I always end up telling myself off on the inside and then try to forget about it.However for the past 2 years I just let myself accept some of the more feminine traits while keeping it somewhat disguised.For work I often have a night away from home, roughly once or twice a fortnight, recently I’ve been becoming more and more upset thinking about it and often when on those overnights alone I find myself tearing up thinking about all the people who would get hurt if I told them my true feelings, while at the same time I’m hurting myself every day I try to keep my feelings suppressed. The tears are not just for my family but myself as well.I’m really lost and don’t know what I should do, if I should even do anything. I don’t know if my wife has a clue or not? I mean my clothing choices have changed a little, like wearing tights and shaving but I don’t think she really cares about that stuff. She did wonder why I’ve been using so many new types of skin care products, and why I’ve started to grow my hair out but I always just create a story and deflect the topic. I’m nearly 40 years old and don’t know if I can suppress these feeling forever without driving myself crazy. What makes it harder is she is a devout religious Christian and I know she will never understand, I’m not religious (anymore), I wasn’t religious when we met and got married either. She was a new Christian when we married, I’d go to church with her to support her, over the years she has become a very very strong Christian!I have decided that I should tell her, she deserves that much at least. Should I… I don’t know! I’m just looking for advice, what can I do and where can I go? I don’t want to dump all this baggage on her straight away, maybe there is something I can say to ease in the information in a gradual way so we can both cope…or say nothing?

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

ClaraPhoenix Advice for breaking the news I am Trans
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone.Recently, I have discovered that I am a 36 year old woman, living in the body of a man. I have denied it and hidden it since I was young.I need to have the discussion with family, but I am married. I love my wife, but I also need to do... View more

Hello everyone.Recently, I have discovered that I am a 36 year old woman, living in the body of a man. I have denied it and hidden it since I was young.I need to have the discussion with family, but I am married. I love my wife, but I also need to do what's right for myself, so I am hoping that there might be someone out here that has experienced this themselves and had to break the news and heart of a spouse. This is what's holding me back from being my true self.