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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Hopefulconfused Need help! gentle and kind words
  • replies: 2

Hello everone I'm 28, Bisexual male, turning 29 soon. Lately I've been going through a lot. My mind does not stop playing tricks which makes me anxious, sad, weak, and can't focus on everything. How to get through or how to face my future knowing tha... View more

Hello everone I'm 28, Bisexual male, turning 29 soon. Lately I've been going through a lot. My mind does not stop playing tricks which makes me anxious, sad, weak, and can't focus on everything. How to get through or how to face my future knowing that I haven't been fully honest with others. I've always known that I'm not straight, and I have told my loved ones about my sexuality lately.They advised me to be happy and do whatever I want in my life, which lessen that pain that I'm going through. I have not told my colleagues and some of my friends about me because i have experienced a lot of harsh words and insults when I was young . Sometimes, I think of admitting my sexuality to my colleagues and friends, but a part of me is still afraid of rejection and words that can hurts me. I'm a very sensitive person and gets emotionally hurt easily. Sometimes, I'd rather keep my mouth shut to protect my peace of mind but it bothers me sometimes. Thinking about the future, I still have doubts about myself, I'm sure that I'm attracted to both genders. Sometimes, I'm physically attracted to opposite sex, then emotionally attracted to same sex. Then on other days, I find myself attracted to same sex physically, then emotionally attracted to opposite sex. My mind is not clear right now. I want to settle and have my own family with a woman in the future, be 100% honest to her, be loyal to her, be respectful towards her. I'm just afraid that my sexuality will affect the future that I'm imagining. I'm also afraid that I will make her life mesirable, which I really don't want to happen, so I 'm thinking of I'm better of being alone. I'm getting sad, down, and words that I can't describe of how I just want to be in my room and be with myself thinking about it. Sorry if my words are not clear enough for me to express myself but I really want it out and I really wanna know how you deal with this kind of delimma. Please help me!!

Butterfly_Wings_of_Hope Bi / bicurious married woman
  • replies: 5

Hi there I am a thirty one year old woman in a hetero marriage. I have only ever been in hetero relationships but I have been attracted to both men and women since I was a teen and I am now talking to my husband about having a threesome with a woman.... View more

Hi there I am a thirty one year old woman in a hetero marriage. I have only ever been in hetero relationships but I have been attracted to both men and women since I was a teen and I am now talking to my husband about having a threesome with a woman. my question is, are sexuality labels (gay, bi, straight etc.) based on attraction or experience? i am attracted to women but have no sexual experience with them. are you bi curious when you only have the attraction and not the experience? Thanks. Just not sure if im bi curious or bi

SaoirseJ Growing attraction to women but married to a man
  • replies: 8

I'm in my late 30s and married to a lovely man, we've had our fair share of struggles. We've been together 13 years, the last 10 have been characterised by the stillbirth of our only child, miscarriages and infertility. We have no living children. 2 ... View more

I'm in my late 30s and married to a lovely man, we've had our fair share of struggles. We've been together 13 years, the last 10 have been characterised by the stillbirth of our only child, miscarriages and infertility. We have no living children. 2 years ago after the last miscarriage something in me changed, I think the scales tipped - my desire to have a baby was no longer strong enough to warrant the pain and trauma of the loss I kept enduring. I started to focus more on my fitness and got into running. It felt great to do something rewarding and energising that made me feel good. I met a lot of women, a few gay women, one of whom I really connected with and eventually fell in love with. I still am, 18 months later. We are good friends and have long easy chats but she doesn't know how I feel. My husband wants us to continue to try to have children. He struggles with the idea of us not having kids. I can't give him that anymore. He knows about my SSA and has had trouble coming to terms with it. I want to leave the marriage and start a new life, but it is so hard to leave and hurt someone I still love very much, but cannot imagine sleeping with ever again, and who now wants very different things to me. Looking back on my adolescence, I was never attracted to men. I wanted them to like me and I just fell into that life because it was what everyone did. But it was women I idolised, thought about, stared at and yep, lusted after. I remember having a few panicked moments about my sexuality - I was raised conservative - but I ignored it and liked being with boys, or at least attention from boys, enough to meet one I liked and get married. It's only now I realise I have only ever done what's expected and not thought about what I wanted. I have moments of clarity where I'm hopeful, I think of a future with a woman, maybe my friend, and feel happy and excited. But I also question my own feelings, and am scared I've made it all up as an easy way out of my marriage. Then there's the denial, I feel like I can't possibly be gay, even though at the same time it feels much more natural and normal than I ever have about men. The other day I was watching McLeods Daughters (I missed all the hype in the early 2000s) and now cannot stop thinking about Claire McLeod in that white singlet haha. It's hard to get all this straight in my head. I can't quite believe I'm gay, but at the same time can't believe I was ever straight. Anyone else been here? It's so lonely

0101 Trans wanting to come out
  • replies: 3

I'm 15 and for the past 2 years I've had thoughts that I'm trans(FTM). I didn't even think about coming out to anyone as it seems really overwhelming, but my dysphoria has been getting worse and worse and I've starting having suicidal thoughts. So I ... View more

I'm 15 and for the past 2 years I've had thoughts that I'm trans(FTM). I didn't even think about coming out to anyone as it seems really overwhelming, but my dysphoria has been getting worse and worse and I've starting having suicidal thoughts. So I really want to come out but my parents are pretty conservative in the way they wouldn't know a single trans person or much of the language surrounding trans people, and most of my close friends are cis het and I can imagine they would stop talking to me if I came out to them. Telling people on here helps but I still don't know what to do. I feel like coming out as trans is just so much more complicated than telling people your sexuality (I'm bi).

Guest_2350 No place for me
  • replies: 6

Hi,I’m struggling. I find it so hard to fit in and find support. It doesn’t help that I live remote. I’m just really really sad.

Hi,I’m struggling. I find it so hard to fit in and find support. It doesn’t help that I live remote. I’m just really really sad.

Bi_guy 30 yo male, married, bisexual and scared - need help
  • replies: 17

Hi A bit of an introduction. I’m a married bisexual guy and have been with my wife for 10 years. I always knew I was bi-curious but was convinced I was straight because I mainly only had emotional crushes on girls. This all changed ages 27 when I rea... View more

Hi A bit of an introduction. I’m a married bisexual guy and have been with my wife for 10 years. I always knew I was bi-curious but was convinced I was straight because I mainly only had emotional crushes on girls. This all changed ages 27 when I realised I still had a strong sexual desire for guys, almost exclusively Asian guys. It took me another three years to be comfortable identifying as bisexual. My problem is that, I love my wife so much, but I can’t help find I am more sexually attracted to Asian guys. It plays on my mind and I find it hard long term to cope with my primary sexual desire not being my wife. But I am confused because I don’t have much emotional response to guys and I don’t see like I could be with a guy long term and grow old together. My wife and I have built a life together and have a young son. She is at her wits end with my struggles with my sexuality. I just want to know if any other bisexual guys are the same and how do you cope? I find not viewing images or porn of attractive Asian guys helps because it lowers my desire for them. But I can’t help fear that I would be better with an Asian guy and embracing it may help the emotion come. But I don’t want to lose my life and my family on a whim. As you can see, my mind goes back and forth. In short, if there are any bisexual guys who are similar or gone through something similar, I would love to know your thoughts.

L3js97 Moving Out Soon
  • replies: 1

So, I have the plan of moving out soon. However, I have no money and my parents are extremely strict, so I can’t obtain a job. So strict in fact, I hide the fact I am an atheist and gay and have been doing so for a long time. Their cultural values of... View more

So, I have the plan of moving out soon. However, I have no money and my parents are extremely strict, so I can’t obtain a job. So strict in fact, I hide the fact I am an atheist and gay and have been doing so for a long time. Their cultural values of marriage and ideas of women hinder me and I feel so trapped in life. I must also get away from my homophobic community which has ostracised me. It is soo draining on my mental health. I must assert my independence soon. I would love to make friends and gather support from all of you. One day, I hope to choose my own family. But for now, I’ve got my dreams and goals.

dazzling_mushroom834 I'm very very confused...
  • replies: 2

I'm very lost and i'm just looking for help... Im 19 years old and i've been on lots of antidepressants for about 3 years so my thoughts about sexuality have been basically non-existent i even wondered if i was asexual and that scared me (not that th... View more

I'm very lost and i'm just looking for help... Im 19 years old and i've been on lots of antidepressants for about 3 years so my thoughts about sexuality have been basically non-existent i even wondered if i was asexual and that scared me (not that there is a problem i just don't relate to that). Recently i've come off alot of my medication and i've stared having fantasies they started off straight but have recently begun to wander alot, I can also see myself ending up long term with a man or a woman, i know that these signs point towards being bi but i wonder if i'm just making these feelings up in my head. I don't really have any experience with anything (even kissing) as i've been in hospital during the time most people begin to explore themselves. I cant really talk to my parents, they're not homophobic but i've tried and they kinda tried to talk me out of it I also don't have many understanding friends. I would love someone elses opinion, thx.

Willow Jude Happy Wear it Purple Day!
  • replies: 2

Wear it Purple Day is an annual event showing support for LGBTQIA+ young people. I would love to hear how any BBers have been celebrating today, or what Wear it Purple Day means to members of the rainbow community/their loved ones

Wear it Purple Day is an annual event showing support for LGBTQIA+ young people. I would love to hear how any BBers have been celebrating today, or what Wear it Purple Day means to members of the rainbow community/their loved ones