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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Guest_23018231 Constant anxiety about wanted to come out
  • replies: 1

I've known that i wasnt straight since i started high school, and i got back into contact with someone i went to primary school with who by that time had come out as pansexual. I was with my best friend for most of our high school life close to 4 and... View more

I've known that i wasnt straight since i started high school, and i got back into contact with someone i went to primary school with who by that time had come out as pansexual. I was with my best friend for most of our high school life close to 4 and a half years and then we mutually decided to go our separate ways as we wanted to different things it was hard for me bc i did truly love her. My family knew she was my best friend and i used to frequent her house 3 to 4 times a week often staying for dinner. They do not know that at that time i thought she was the love of my life.Now i have the constant stress of hiding this part of myself from my family and my co workers which is inhibiting my work abilities as i just want them to know who i am but i dont know how to start that conversation with them.

drabmeasure I thought I was a lesbian but I think I have a crush on a guy?
  • replies: 1

I'm 25 and I've identified as a lesbian for my adult life but last week I met this guy through a friend and now I think I might have a crush on him? We were flirting all night & he asked at one point if I like both girls and guys (don't know if he wa... View more

I'm 25 and I've identified as a lesbian for my adult life but last week I met this guy through a friend and now I think I might have a crush on him? We were flirting all night & he asked at one point if I like both girls and guys (don't know if he was asking because he assumed I was gay and wanted to know if I liked him or the other way round) but I kind of avoided the question because I knew if I said I was gay it would put an end to the flirting. He dropped me home and I was a little drunk and texted him asking if he was still around if he wanted to go for a drive cause I wanted to keep hanging out with him but chickened out when he said he was down to come back to pick me up and said I needed to go to bed. We've messaged a bit and he asked me if I was free to hang out but I said no cause I feel like I need to figure this out before digging myself into too deep of a hole, plus I am seeing him next week with a group of friends so knew it wouldn't be long until I saw him again I've had times in the past where I've thought I've been attracted to a man but when it comes to anything intimate happening I freak out and pull away. This was part of the reason I decided I was a lesbian because I figured getting along really well with men but not wanting to be intimate with them is what being gay is. But I also have a weird relationship with my body (I'm nonbinary) and I've never had sex with a man so I don't know if the times I've pulled away from it is because I was too scared and not because there was a lack of attraction, and maybe the thought of being with a man made me feel too much like a woman. I found out afterwards that him and his partner broke up 2 weeks ago and felt relieved at the thought that he wouldn't want to pursue anything serious because I'm not sure if I would want to be in a relationship with him/any man I guess I'm trying to figure out if I was just enjoying the attention and the fun of flirting and having a crush or if I actually am attracted to him in that way? I don't want to get myself into the situation of leaning into it to experiment and kissing him and freaking out and making an excuse to leave because I've done that before and it's a horrible feeling - but if I kiss him and I like it and want to go further I would like to explore that. I also don't want to hurt him in the process I'm also pretty scared of having to tell my friends if anything happens between us I really don't want to come out again - does anyone have any advice??????

Guest_89244889 HOCD Getting bad each day
  • replies: 2

I need some advice My Hocd started june 2023. in english class we were watching a documatry called love on the spectrum. In the video a certain male said " he didnt know what his sexuality was he said he used to think he liked guys but after watching... View more

I need some advice My Hocd started june 2023. in english class we were watching a documatry called love on the spectrum. In the video a certain male said " he didnt know what his sexuality was he said he used to think he liked guys but after watching porn he thought he liked girls. This simply line made me start overthinking and worrying about what if im realy Gay or Bi. Since than whenver i see a good looking guy i overthink and think becuase their good looking this must think i wanna date them and do romantic stuff with them and when i think about sometimes i think i dont mind the though and others i think i dont like it all. It has caused me great distress and anxitey at the thought of being gay or BI. Before watching this video i had never had an homosexual thoughts what so ever and has just had crushes on girls. I now dont feel much for girls and only get attraction if see girls in real life and even than my brain says ur faking it. I just dont know what to do

Winesue Coming out advice needed, scared as to what the consequences will be.
  • replies: 9

I (Male, 19) want to come out and start looking for a partner of the same sex. I “found out” I was bisexual when I was 16 and more or less accepted I wasn’t straight when I was 18. I went to a mostly Christian school, grew up in a mostly Christian fa... View more

I (Male, 19) want to come out and start looking for a partner of the same sex. I “found out” I was bisexual when I was 16 and more or less accepted I wasn’t straight when I was 18. I went to a mostly Christian school, grew up in a mostly Christian family, and as a result, many of the people in my life that I am close with are both very religious and straight. I have wanted to come out for the better part of a year now, especially since starting university, but I’m extremely worried that my friends and family will either be hurt by it, or socially ostracise me.Several of my friends have begun dating and are directly asking me why I’m so awkward about looking for a partner. My fear is that they would not accept me if I got together with a guy, meaning I would loose people who genuinely mean the world to me. I already have a pretty rocky relationship with most of my family for reasons I don’t want to get into here, and I’m genuinely scared me coming out would be the killing blow of me being a part of their lives. At the same time however, I’m really eger to start dating and feel like I’m denying myself something I need in order to make other people happy (not helped by work and my uni workload).I should probably also mention that I’ve never told or even hinted that I’m bisexual to anyone. Everyone, including my Mum, is under the assumption that I’m straight and just burying myself in work and study (the study part is partially true lmfao). I have this fear that they think I should have “figured out what I like by now” and that they would be shocked or dismissive of me contradicting that internal head-cannon.I’m at a complete loss as to what to do, hoping some people here have had similar experiences and can help me rationalise all this.

Tex32 Realising I’m Gay
  • replies: 2

For a long time I’ve identified as bisexual, but recently I believe I’m gay. Realising this at 44 has been quite difficult. All my friends are married with children so they have their hands full with that. There’s no question any of them would ‘disow... View more

For a long time I’ve identified as bisexual, but recently I believe I’m gay. Realising this at 44 has been quite difficult. All my friends are married with children so they have their hands full with that. There’s no question any of them would ‘disown’ me so to speak but I don’t have anyone to talk to for support

Captain T Asexual with lesbian tendencies
  • replies: 5

Hi all Im a little confused as to how I feel. Some deep soul searching and I know that I am asexual. I’m not interested in sex. But I like the closeness of a female relationship, not that I’m sure I want that. Is this possible or do I have everything... View more

Hi all Im a little confused as to how I feel. Some deep soul searching and I know that I am asexual. I’m not interested in sex. But I like the closeness of a female relationship, not that I’m sure I want that. Is this possible or do I have everything all wrong?

Guest_86582300 Moiety
  • replies: 1

Hi, I recently came upon a piece of info on First Australian 'Moiety' culture, which stipulates that a mother-in-law and son-in-law cannot share the same space, e.g. in a room or inside a car.Could you tell me if there is a similar restriction betwee... View more

Hi, I recently came upon a piece of info on First Australian 'Moiety' culture, which stipulates that a mother-in-law and son-in-law cannot share the same space, e.g. in a room or inside a car.Could you tell me if there is a similar restriction between father-in-law and daughter-in-law?Thanks!

60Incon_ Incont, Brain Disease Man
  • replies: 3

I wear nappies +inserts ,wipes spare plastic pants. Getting massaged with her bringing everymasues 1by1Gawking giggling her joking while exposing my tape up nappy +plastic pants/new nappy on the floor.

I wear nappies +inserts ,wipes spare plastic pants. Getting massaged with her bringing everymasues 1by1Gawking giggling her joking while exposing my tape up nappy +plastic pants/new nappy on the floor.

Anonymous_28 Sexuality confusion (Lesbian/bi and aro-ace suspicions)
  • replies: 3

I'm struggling to identify my sexuality and feel unsure about it. I suspect I might be aromantic-asexual, lesbian, or bisexual. I'm a 14-year-old female living in Australia. I hadn't experienced any romantic or sexual attraction until recently, excep... View more

I'm struggling to identify my sexuality and feel unsure about it. I suspect I might be aromantic-asexual, lesbian, or bisexual. I'm a 14-year-old female living in Australia. I hadn't experienced any romantic or sexual attraction until recently, except for a minor crush on a girl in sixth grade, which I never though much of. I've always supported the LGBTQ+ community, but assumed I'd be straight. My family supports LGBTQ+, though some of them find it strange.About 2-4 months ago, I developed feelings for a girl in many of my classes. Despite being introverted and socially anxious, I spoke with her, and we became loose friends. I idolized her; she's pretty, athletic, academically talented, intelligent, outgoing, and kind. She grew up in a loving environment and doesn't struggle with mental health issues.I don't get along well with my parents. They aren't abusive but can be toxic, so I avoid speaking to them. I have poor mental health, self-diagnosed depression, and social anxiety. With my declining mental health, bad relationship with my parents, and social awkwardness, I felt inadequate next to this girl.It was an obsessive crush. I stalked her socials, took every opportunity to hang out with her, and made a massive effort to be good enough for her.I realized it was more than platonic when I found her shockingly beautiful and imagined intimate situations with her. I had no desire to kiss her or any sexual feelings, which might be due to my age, but I suspect I'm somewhat aro-ace. To me, having a crush means wanting to be somewhere between friends and lovers, like snuggling and having romantic moments without sexual aspects. I’m also uninterested in kissing as far as I’m aware.I recently discovered the concept of a Queer Platonic Relationship (QPR), which fits what I'm feeling. I prefer telling people I want a QPR rather than saying I'm aro-ace, as I do crave some romantic interactions. I feel invalid, especially because I'm only 14. Maybe it’s just a phase, and it was just an obsessive platonic thing. It seems like most people are straight, and I can't even describe my sexuality in a word or phrase. I think I'm lesbian, but I might be bisexual or pansexual. I don't want sexual aspects in a relationship but want some romantic gestures. I'm unsure whether to come out. I'm still figuring things out and worry people will hate me or think it's just a phase. I don't know if I should come out or casually mention it. Is coming out making it a big deal, and is casually mentioning it overconfident? Is it bad to keep it a secret from my friends, or should I wait until I feel ready? I'm also unsure if I'm lesbian, bi, or pansexual. I've never had a crush on a guy in real life, but I've only had two crushes. If asked about a good-looking celebrity, I'd think of male celebrities rather than females. It's confusing, and I'm unsure. Any help and support would be much appreciated. Thanks so much x

7584883 My crush potentially suppressing his feelings for me
  • replies: 3

I’m a guy in high school and I’d like to get some advice about a crush that i have had for a long time now.For months now he’s been approaching me in school for the most random reasons. In the early days of knowing him he asked me if I was gay, and I... View more

I’m a guy in high school and I’d like to get some advice about a crush that i have had for a long time now.For months now he’s been approaching me in school for the most random reasons. In the early days of knowing him he asked me if I was gay, and I was really uncomfortable cause it was so unexpected and I was only out to one of my friends, but I came out to him cause I didn’t want to lie, and then it was really awkward cause I didn’t understand why he asked. He’s completely unaware of it but since he asked me if I was gay I’ve been able to come out to many people through him because he sometimes asks about being gay or jokingly mentions something about me being gay in front of people, so he feels really important to me in that sense. I’ve grown a crush for him, but I’m really uncertain about how he feels about me. I think he might be bisexual and maybe not completely aware of his feelings towards me. Like many people have told me that he has a “weird obsession” with me cause he always forces conversations out of with me, which I think could be him crushing on me? but I fear that he’s using his religion to suppress those feelings. He comes from a very religious family so they could definitely be against the idea of homosexuality and so he’d have bad internalised homophobia. And he has said some off putting things to me that kinda showed internalised homophobia but he apologised after and it seemed like he really cared about how he made me feel? I also feel really pressured to present myself as someone good enough to come out for, but then I hear girls are talking with him and I get really depressed about it cause i feel hopeless. And because of this crush, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the many times that I’ve been bullied for being gay, and i think the bullying I’ve experienced has influenced the way I act with him, which may make it harder for him to read me well?