Sexuality and gender identity

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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 216

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

L3js97 Moving Out Soon
  • replies: 1

So, I have the plan of moving out soon. However, I have no money and my parents are extremely strict, so I can’t obtain a job. So strict in fact, I hide the fact I am an atheist and gay and have been doing so for a long time. Their cultural values of... View more

So, I have the plan of moving out soon. However, I have no money and my parents are extremely strict, so I can’t obtain a job. So strict in fact, I hide the fact I am an atheist and gay and have been doing so for a long time. Their cultural values of marriage and ideas of women hinder me and I feel so trapped in life. I must also get away from my homophobic community which has ostracised me. It is soo draining on my mental health. I must assert my independence soon. I would love to make friends and gather support from all of you. One day, I hope to choose my own family. But for now, I’ve got my dreams and goals.

dazzling_mushroom834 I'm very very confused...
  • replies: 2

I'm very lost and i'm just looking for help... Im 19 years old and i've been on lots of antidepressants for about 3 years so my thoughts about sexuality have been basically non-existent i even wondered if i was asexual and that scared me (not that th... View more

I'm very lost and i'm just looking for help... Im 19 years old and i've been on lots of antidepressants for about 3 years so my thoughts about sexuality have been basically non-existent i even wondered if i was asexual and that scared me (not that there is a problem i just don't relate to that). Recently i've come off alot of my medication and i've stared having fantasies they started off straight but have recently begun to wander alot, I can also see myself ending up long term with a man or a woman, i know that these signs point towards being bi but i wonder if i'm just making these feelings up in my head. I don't really have any experience with anything (even kissing) as i've been in hospital during the time most people begin to explore themselves. I cant really talk to my parents, they're not homophobic but i've tried and they kinda tried to talk me out of it I also don't have many understanding friends. I would love someone elses opinion, thx.

Willow Jude Happy Wear it Purple Day!
  • replies: 2

Wear it Purple Day is an annual event showing support for LGBTQIA+ young people. I would love to hear how any BBers have been celebrating today, or what Wear it Purple Day means to members of the rainbow community/their loved ones

Wear it Purple Day is an annual event showing support for LGBTQIA+ young people. I would love to hear how any BBers have been celebrating today, or what Wear it Purple Day means to members of the rainbow community/their loved ones

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 216

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Lgos Parent of gay child feeling sad
  • replies: 6

Hi there, I'm new to BB. I've read a few posts and it seems we have a wonderful world of beautiful help out there... so I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. My story goes like this..in December I stumbled across some communications between my ... View more

Hi there, I'm new to BB. I've read a few posts and it seems we have a wonderful world of beautiful help out there... so I'm hoping someone can give me some advice. My story goes like this..in December I stumbled across some communications between my 21 year old daughter and one of her best friends, of a sexual nature. Whoa, first shock. she has had a couple of boyfriends and for the last 3 yrs was pretty much in love with another guy. I know she longed for something to happen with him. She always shared her thoughts with me. So, come January, I confronted her about the relationship with the girl friend. She told me it just happened and I think it was a shock for her too. She told me that she pictures herself having a husband and children and she is definitely not gay. So let's skip to now, April. She is still with her friend. How am I coping.. Not well. I don't want sympathy, I'm just finding this really hard. I have a good husband, supportive wise and I know my daughter is really happy so I'm glad for her. There are four of us living here, my daughter has explicitly asked me not to tell her sister, she's 18. My husband has never once had a conversation about anything, he just hugs and loves her. The secrecy, I feel like our relationship is just sooo bad now. She is a big softy like me and can't handle seeing me struggling with this so she is just living her life. She hangs out at her friends house, I guess she feels safe there. We have had 3 conversations only since December and the last one she just got so angry with me and told me to get over it! I've read 3 books, I'm re-reading them now, I go to a counsellor every few weeks and at the moment I am pretty much making my families life miserable. The silence of this subject in my house is killing me and the beautiful relationship we had. Due to my ever so slowwwww acceptance of her choice, I'm feeling like I am completely sabotaging our relationship singlehandedly. I don't know how to talk about it with her anymore.. can anyone give me some constructive advice? It's like I need someone holding my hand whilst I say to her "you know I love you so much and I need you to help me through this". It sounds so selfish of me, she too I believe must be having her own issues but she is also very happy. I just don't know how to take the simple step of trying to talk to her, the last time turned into a complete disaster. If you think you can help I'd appreciate your thoughts. L xx

solotraveller Bi???
  • replies: 7

I think I might be bi. I have only had very unsuccessful male partners but have always been attracted to women as well. I have had one sexual encounter with a woman, and recently have been doing some soul searching and think I might be bi, which leav... View more

I think I might be bi. I have only had very unsuccessful male partners but have always been attracted to women as well. I have had one sexual encounter with a woman, and recently have been doing some soul searching and think I might be bi, which leaves me with mixed emotions because, I dont know wheather I am definitely bi and I feel like a bit of a fraud to go and find support if I end up being straight. I dont even know wherr to get support it all seems to be gay, lesbian, trans not really bi specific. From what I have read on the internet (not always a great idea) that bi people get a hard time from both the heterosexual and lgbtqi community. I know noone can decide this for me but me im just really anxious about my realisation and I just would like to know that there are other people out there that are/have been through feelong like this. TIA

iwanttoconnect28 gender fluid person
  • replies: 6

hi everyone im a 28 yo male and i am desperately want to connect with others so i can explore my gender and sexuality with likeminded people, but more so i can dress and express myself in fem fashion, since ive come out as a bi trans fem person i fel... View more

hi everyone im a 28 yo male and i am desperately want to connect with others so i can explore my gender and sexuality with likeminded people, but more so i can dress and express myself in fem fashion, since ive come out as a bi trans fem person i felt like a weirdo and a second class person having lost a few friends and my job and being told by my mum that it takes away the rights of actual women, i have no intention of hurt actual women i just to want to be more my authentic self and drop my masculine act.

bluebottle321 GAY INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS
  • replies: 3

Hi all, It’s been a hard 2 months and I’m figuring out what’s the problem with me. I keep thinking to myself everyday which spirals and makes me anxious and feeling miserable. I’ve always liked girls and still do. When I was younger and going out par... View more

Hi all, It’s been a hard 2 months and I’m figuring out what’s the problem with me. I keep thinking to myself everyday which spirals and makes me anxious and feeling miserable. I’ve always liked girls and still do. When I was younger and going out partying I’d only be sexually attracted to girls not once would I think of a guy. I have a girlfriend of 2 years and it’s been the best 2 years of my life and we’ve talked about the future together and it’s something we both want. About 2 months ago I did drugs with friends and the after affect was severe anxiety and being anxious which is standard with doing drugs. 3 days later I was still having the same after affects so I went to my GP and had started antidepressants because I was severely depressed. 2 weeks went by and was still on the antidepressants, my girlfriend went away for a month. I had drunk a lot with the lads over footy and woke up that morning about a dream of being bi-sexual - A DREAM!! Since then, my mind is saying on repeat of every single day “Your gay, you’re gay”. I’m seeing a psychologist weekly at the moment and she’s labelling it as “OCD intrusive thoughts”. I’m also off the antidepressants as I feel like they were making me worse in terms of my anxiety - which has helped me a lot. The big thing I’m having a problem with is that I have this feeling in my groin area when I speak to a gay guy or sometimes speak to any guy or the feeling just happens out of nowhere even when no one is around. It’s not arousal at all it’s just an annoying feeling and sometimes it feels like I need a pee. But when I get the feeling my brain then spirals and thinks “what if I am gay”. I still love it when I kiss my girlfriend and I’m always aroused when we get sexually active. Can anyone please give me an insight of what is going on or someone is having the same issue?

...Gekota Gender Clinic appointment - Starting T?
  • replies: 3

Hey, before I get into it I just thought I’d give some context Im 15 (soon 16) and transmasc. Thankfully my parents are amazing and incredibly supportive (for most of it) I have recently found out i finally got an appointment at the gender clinic. I ... View more

Hey, before I get into it I just thought I’d give some context Im 15 (soon 16) and transmasc. Thankfully my parents are amazing and incredibly supportive (for most of it) I have recently found out i finally got an appointment at the gender clinic. I am very very happy about this as for so long when I was closeted it felt like a dream that was so far out of reach. Lately I’ve been thinking a LOT about transitioning and it’s really getting to me. I’ve told my parents I would wait until I’m 18 because that’s what they wanted but everyday I just feel more and more dysphoric and more like I want to start T sooner. I am a very indecisive person and I will never be sure of any decision I make no matter what but if I start on a low dose and it turns out it’s not right for me I know I can stop and I know I won’t regret any changes that it has made. I’ve spent so many years living as a girl and I know it kind of sounds selfish but I really want to live the few years of childhood I have left as a boy like properly you know? I hate myself. No matter how good my day has been I will always hate myself and I so badly want to finally be able to see myself and think “I’m okay” I don’t need to love myself that’s unrealistic for me I just want comfort in my human suit that I have to wear for the rest of my life. while saying that I am afraid going on T won’t make me feel any better about myself but if so I know I will stop and I know it won’t make me feel worse about myself. I want to feel like I can live and I know I could wait till 18 like safely but I don’t want to keep living like this. I am miserable every time I see myself it ruins everything it’s like “oh… a girl”. My parents have been very adamant that they don’t want me to transition till I’m 18 as they don’t want it to feel like they are responsible especially since coming out to them I know I can survive till 18. And I completely understand why they feel that way. I have heard that if you’re 16 you can take this test to see if you’re competent in order to choose for yourself about HRT. I don’t want to disappoint my parents anymore I love them so much. I just want to be free from all this pain that I cannot shake no matter what I do or how I feel. Most teenagers who start HRT it’s life or death. I know it won’t be literally that way for me but at the moment it fills like I’m not living life. I want to LIVE, as a boy.

Learningtofeel Am I broken, just wanting a friend
  • replies: 4

I am in my 40's, teenage son and married 20 years to the most amazing woman. Told my wife 6 months ago of my childhood sexual abuse from age 9-16, at the hands of my mum's friend, enduring horrific levels of sexual abuse hundreds and hundreds of time... View more

I am in my 40's, teenage son and married 20 years to the most amazing woman. Told my wife 6 months ago of my childhood sexual abuse from age 9-16, at the hands of my mum's friend, enduring horrific levels of sexual abuse hundreds and hundreds of times. My wife was the first person I ever told, she so was so amazing and never showed any signs of judgement. I shared with my wife about 3 weeks ago that I think I am bisexual. For me this is me being honest with myself for the first time that I could be attracted to another male, either physically, sexually or emotionally. My wife was very supportive and understanding (even offering me a hall pass to explore) however my commitment to her is 100% as solid as the day I made it. Even if I found myself attracted to another male or female, I would not act on this, as my commitment to her is paramount. What I am looking for is a friend, maybe someone who is also bi, to discuss this stuff with, someone to share with, seek validation and have honest conversations with, where I don't feel like I need to be cautious or fear of judgement.