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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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bella9 i'm bisexual(?) but I have homophobic parents
  • replies: 7

I'm new but here it goes, Late last year I started questioning my sexuality, I didn't think much of it and ignored it. Then this year when entering a new school year,( I started a catholic all-girls high school and I'm turning 15 next year) I would l... View more

I'm new but here it goes, Late last year I started questioning my sexuality, I didn't think much of it and ignored it. Then this year when entering a new school year,( I started a catholic all-girls high school and I'm turning 15 next year) I would look at the girls and think they are attractive the same way boys are. It was the usual wanting to kiss a girl, hold their hand and be in a relationship with them. But the problem was I also found boys attractive still. So I did some quick research to make myself sure and came across the term, Bisexual. I started addressing myself like that, and soon enough I developed some type of crush? With a girl in my school, the sad bit is I've only seen her, not met her. My parents soon enough found out near the end of pride month and gave me a talk on how it's a sin and how I'm not Old "bella" anymore or how they could easily kick me out. They treat me quite different now and always check up on me so I'm not watching anything that contains LGBTQ, they say how I'm young and know nothing about the world and how I'm being stupid. I have friends that support me but no one to talk to at school properly since it's catholic. I'm not sure what to do or feel, most of the time I lie and say I'm still straight but can't help the fact that I find both girls and boys attractive. Could someone offer some advice?

BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

Guest_17748971 Is it necessary to be out?
  • replies: 1

I really don't understand the having to be out business and why it seems so necessary. What people do in private I don't think is anyone else's business. Is it really important to have to say the gender you are into? I have kept my behind closed door... View more

I really don't understand the having to be out business and why it seems so necessary. What people do in private I don't think is anyone else's business. Is it really important to have to say the gender you are into? I have kept my behind closed doors business to myself for over 20 years and hear of the many stories of coming out issues, why is it or is it important to come out? I have made it this far without doing that and I feel its noones business than mine. Eventhough you cop the taunts regardless for not ever marrying like as if there is a rule for having to do that too. People judge regardless why give them unnecessary information. Being who you are and want to be is hard enough, just don't think I want to make it tougher. I would like to know thoughts either way of the importance or non-importance of coming out.

Monarch Coming Out, Again!!
  • replies: 3

I see a lot of good people here that are struggling with coming out or questioning their sexuality, gender or all of the above. I'm a gay man in my mid 40's and have been "out" now for about 25 years. I consider myself just an average bloke, I don't ... View more

I see a lot of good people here that are struggling with coming out or questioning their sexuality, gender or all of the above. I'm a gay man in my mid 40's and have been "out" now for about 25 years. I consider myself just an average bloke, I don't fit the stereo type and that's fine with me. I struggled when coming out to some family members and friends but I've always just thought, if they don't accept the whole me, I don't need them. Our sexuality or gender does not define us as human beings. People love judging others and pigeon holing other people. Maybe it gives them some sort of validation. I had a bunch of gay friends when I was young but always struggled with coming out at work or other social situations. Initially I thought why should I come out in the work place, at the sporting club or when volunteering. It does not define me as a person. I didn't go out of my way to hide the fact either but there was nearly always some clown who needed their own self validation and decided to be rude to say the least. I hate rude people. I felt comfortable coming out in some workplaces and not others. Unfortunately I was harassed and bullied regardless. I didn't have the witty acid tongue of some of my friends. Despite my indifferent attitude, I still seem to to take effect at what other people think. My very own validation. I haven't stopped coming out to people for 25 years. I feel worn down by it sometimes. I am on my own just at the moment due to mental and physical illness. As I recover I know I will need to get out there amongst it all and decide whether to come out, again. There's no magic pill or someone with a PhD that can help me. For me, recovery must come from within. Forgive my rant for want of sleep. Stay fabulous people!

Shifte Not sure.
  • replies: 2

I have lived a hard life where being straight was the only option. I suffered from sexual abuse in my young teenage years, and have been thinking maybe that's why I'm in the predicament that I'm in now? I love the smell, the look, the feel of a woman... View more

I have lived a hard life where being straight was the only option. I suffered from sexual abuse in my young teenage years, and have been thinking maybe that's why I'm in the predicament that I'm in now? I love the smell, the look, the feel of a woman. But I am really attracted to P****. I don't like anything else about a man, other than that, but to a point where I think I might be gay? I don't even know why i'm writing this post, maybe just for some validation that there are some other people out there that are like me? I'm 41 and with my partner (woman) but am really wondering if I am with the wrong person/gender. Or maybe it does not even matter? I do love her, but s** life does not exist. A lot of stuff running through my head, so sorry if i'm all over the place.

Iris Feeling lost
  • replies: 2

Hello im very new here.Ok so here is the story. I have struggled with and never shared that im gay and attracted to guys to basically anyone minus a few online friends. I cant tell my parents minus my dad who may take it well. That has been the case ... View more

Hello im very new here.Ok so here is the story. I have struggled with and never shared that im gay and attracted to guys to basically anyone minus a few online friends. I cant tell my parents minus my dad who may take it well. That has been the case but in recently i feel its more then that now that im most likely trans. I have bottled that away for over 6 months or so now the problem is i recently travelled to see a friend for a week.While i was away as she described it i could be openly queer and didnt stop smiling, that was amazing but good things cant last i came back now I have an endless pain crying myself to sleep a few times now.I could maybe tell my sister she is accepting having a few gay friends herself.Im stuck between letting them know im gay (a smaller issue) or trans (1 million percent wouldnt accept)I just dont know what i should do any advise would be amazing.

Guest_12278985 Connecting Farmers Who Are Gay
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I wanted to start a conversation for farmers who are gay and looking to connect with others who share similar experiences. While I’m heterosexual, I have gay friends, and I know that rural and farming communities can sometimes feel isola... View more

Hi everyone, I wanted to start a conversation for farmers who are gay and looking to connect with others who share similar experiences. While I’m heterosexual, I have gay friends, and I know that rural and farming communities can sometimes feel isolating, especially when it comes to finding like-minded people or supportive spaces. Farming life comes with its own unique challenges - long hours, family traditions, and strong community ties - which can sometimes make it hard to be open about who you are. I’d love to hear from those who have navigated this journey:How have you found support within your community?Are there groups, events, or online spaces that have helped you connect with others?What advice would you give to someone struggling with acceptance in a rural setting?If you’re a farmer who identifies as LGBTQ+ or an ally, feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, or resources that might help others in the same situation. Let’s start an open and supportive discussion.Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!

Orangejuice09 What is this?
  • replies: 1

I (24 F) always identified myself as straight, even though most of the male crushes I had were fictional. I have never had any interest in women. I was trying to read a BL called ten count, but I was worried about being misogynistic. So I decided to ... View more

I (24 F) always identified myself as straight, even though most of the male crushes I had were fictional. I have never had any interest in women. I was trying to read a BL called ten count, but I was worried about being misogynistic. So I decided to look at a few forums and I stumbled on Quora and other sources about experiences about being a lesbian. I decided to read a GL called Asumi chan is interested in lesbian brothels: I read the first chapter and I began to have nightmares and intrusive thoughts, to the point where I couldn’t sleep alone. I also started to look up book covers of the manga, YouTube videos of women being intimate, women (celebrities) in sexy clothes, Yuri sexual explicit on r34 , looking at lesbian dating apps, and started having intrusive thoughts of being intimate with women to confirm my orientation. I looked up other forums on reddit and quora to see if my orientation has changed. My sister said that sexuality is fluid but I saw other forums say that the statement was homophobic. I am muslim so there might be societal pressure as well but I have been depressed, sometimes to the brink of tears. I have lost interest in drawing, learning Japanese and a lot of my previous hobbies and I have lost interest in men and forming relationships with both men and women, to the point where my whole routine and goals are being ignored. What should I do? I am not having intrusive thoughts at night and I am smiling at certain dreams (being intimate with women). I am having intrusive thoughts at other times and sometimes I get anxious. One time, I had an intrusive thought of kissing my friend and I cried in the surgery. Some of my thoughts feel real (like marrying women, and being intimate with them ). I sometimes feel calm and sometimes I am indifferent, which scares me I still look up images (sexy or not) of women and the results vary from anxious to feeling nothing. I don't know if I am a lesbian or if I got desensitised to the whole thing. I have these intrusive thoughts at work (I never felt this way before) where I would get nervous around women and I don't know why it started. I did a quiz on wikihow on am I lesbian and when I did it, it said I was attracted to women and when I saw the comments, one of them said that one sign is having mainly women friends and male fictional characters and I kept using chatgpt and reddit to reassure myself. When I watch certain shows like Mr Bean, I stop thinking about this and I feel better, which worries me because I wonder if these thoughts are genuine if a TV show is able to distract me I had my therapy session and I mentioned sometimes I go onto reddit to explore the possibility of OCD and they said I might have it or not and I am worried because I wonder what if I don't and I am in denial of everything. I just want my old life back (before the intrusive thoughts). If I stop the compulsions, will the intrusive thoughts go away? I feel "excited", an urge to smile and anxiety like I am enjoying my thoughts but I still look depressed. When someone mentions I look depressed I lose it and start crying I went out with my sister on the train to a cafe and I couldn't stop staring at all of the women to see if I was attracted to them. When I arrived to the cafe, I had fun but when I went back on the train, I had an intrusive thought about my best friend and resting my head on her shoulder , wondering if I had a stronger relationship than I thought. I texted her and I regretted it (to the point of tears) I heard sexuality is fluid but that makes me nervous. I posted this query on reddit, quora and discord for answer but I got called gay (I didn't handle it maturely). My sister asked why I am afraid to be gay and I don't know. My sister and my family would be supportive if I was gay or bi. What should I do?

ssSushiCat Dealing with dysphoria :( any advice
  • replies: 1

So i am a trans nonbianary person. And I've been feeling a lot very bad dysphoria lately, mostly around my chest and some other organs and honestly generally about my body.I am unsure how to deal with it to be honest. I do not have the money for a th... View more

So i am a trans nonbianary person. And I've been feeling a lot very bad dysphoria lately, mostly around my chest and some other organs and honestly generally about my body.I am unsure how to deal with it to be honest. I do not have the money for a therapist or any gender affirming surgeries. I do have a binder and trans tape, and that helps, but I cannot wear either for very long. Binder gives be back and rib pain if I wear for like 2 days in a row (even if it's only for 8 hours) and I cannot wear tape that much cause i got a lot sensory issues. Also tape doesn't bind as flat as I want to, and I can always feel it it which makes my dysphoria worse sometimes. Idk what to do I've been crying about it for the past couple of weeks. And the fact that I couldn't wear my binder for a couple of days due to rib pain, made it worse. To add to it I did get my haircut butchered and that just added to my dysphoria. Honestly I am unsure what to do anymore. I feel like I've done everything in my power, I got binder I got tape i got clothes that make me feel more comfortable. I try to be kind to myself too.But it's just not enough sometimes. I wish I didn't have to feel this. I can't even distract myself from it on my bad dysphoria days, cause my brain gets really fixated on it and I can't do anything but cry.

arka “No Longer Human”
  • replies: 3

I feel like I don’t fit into any sort of notion of identity, on any sort of level whatsoever. I myself feel like an alien, not even because I can’t relate to my peers or even my own friends but honestly just because I feel like I’m not human. I know ... View more

I feel like I don’t fit into any sort of notion of identity, on any sort of level whatsoever. I myself feel like an alien, not even because I can’t relate to my peers or even my own friends but honestly just because I feel like I’m not human. I know I am, but it’s just the way I feel. I’d like to believe I’m a decent person and that I’ve paid my dues in relationships, work, what-you-have-it, but it feels impossible to find a community that I fit into anymore. Coming out as anything but what’s deemed “socially correct” in my particular clique would put my near non-existent social life at jeopardy, which I’m honestly not willing to do while feeling like a worthless sack of a person that’s barely holding myself together mentally, or even physically. Losing those few connections I have would probably ruin me to be perfectly honest. I’ve already pretty much stopped taking care of myself because as I said before, I barely feel like a human anymore and find no point in treating myself like one if I can’t find it in myself to perpetuate the thoughts on a mental level. I always feel really gross and fatigued, and life feels insanely hard to deal with right now. At the end of the day though, I feel like being true to my identity might help me feel a little more me again. Lately I’ve felt nothing short of an absolutely worthless existence, but I feel like at least by reassuring myself “Hey! You don’t have to look in the mirror and shove on those boring slacks every day. It might be good for you to experiment a little, hey, maybe wear something bright for a change or grow your hair out,” and that even a small physical change could help me feel a little more authentic and like I’m worth something. That was a really long and honestly pretty incoherent rant, sorry. I just wanted to get some of my thoughts out into words. Hopefully someone out there that can relate sees this and feels at least a little more human too, knowing that someone else in this crazy big country feels the same… even with the insane distance between us. And don’t forget to appreciate yourself. You deserve it.