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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 223

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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Guest_89997949 How to support a bi-sexual son
  • replies: 4

Hi there, My son came out to me as bisexual last week in the car. I've always suspected he was attracted to both sexes but was waiting for him to tell me himself. I was asking about crushes and defaulted to girls as lots of his friends are taking gir... View more

Hi there, My son came out to me as bisexual last week in the car. I've always suspected he was attracted to both sexes but was waiting for him to tell me himself. I was asking about crushes and defaulted to girls as lots of his friends are taking girls to his Year 12 ball. When he told me I said "oh I know that! Well you have lots of choice then" and sort of made a joke of it. Shortly after we arrived at home and I told him I loved him and thanked him for telling me. I also asked if he was going to tell his dad and he said he would but I wasn't allowed to tell him. The conversation sort of moved on quickly and I didn't want to bombard him with questions but I just asked "when did you know" to which he responded to me about 3 years before when he had a huge crush on a boy in his year. Since then I have loads more questions but don't want to bombard him. I also am dying to share this with his dad but have promised not to. Any advice on how I can support him but also have a few questions answered. I love him and accept him whoever he is attracted to but am very protective of him also. Thankfully he has good friends and wants to start telling them but this scares me too. Any advice much appreciated.

Bluejay23 Confusing feelings for a flirty friend
  • replies: 2

I live in an all-boys dorm, and honestly, everyone here pretty much knows about my sexuality. There’s this guy who I met through our mutual friends. At first, he weirded me out because he was really touchy, and I thought he might be messing with me. ... View more

I live in an all-boys dorm, and honestly, everyone here pretty much knows about my sexuality. There’s this guy who I met through our mutual friends. At first, he weirded me out because he was really touchy, and I thought he might be messing with me. But as time passed, I saw him more often and started developing feelings for him. The thing is, he has a reputation as the biggest flirt/player on campus. He talks to a lot of girls but is also very physically affectionate with our guy friends—and even with me. Once, he cuddled me in bed. A few nights ago, I was out walking alone at 1:30 AM to clear my head when he spotted me while driving back from McDonald’s. He literally U-turned to check on me, asking where I was going and if I was okay. I told him I was fine and kept walking, but he stopped the car twice more to ask. A few minutes after driving off, he texted me, “Are you okay? I love you.” Since then, he’s been extra affectionate—hugging me and repeatedly saying “I love you.” Yesterday, I finally told him, “Stop saying that! Because you don’t.” He replied, “I do though. I care about you. Why don’t you believe me?” Now, I’m trying not to fall for his charms, but I don’t even know if resisting is the right thing to do.

bella9 i'm bisexual(?) but I have homophobic parents
  • replies: 7

I'm new but here it goes, Late last year I started questioning my sexuality, I didn't think much of it and ignored it. Then this year when entering a new school year,( I started a catholic all-girls high school and I'm turning 15 next year) I would l... View more

I'm new but here it goes, Late last year I started questioning my sexuality, I didn't think much of it and ignored it. Then this year when entering a new school year,( I started a catholic all-girls high school and I'm turning 15 next year) I would look at the girls and think they are attractive the same way boys are. It was the usual wanting to kiss a girl, hold their hand and be in a relationship with them. But the problem was I also found boys attractive still. So I did some quick research to make myself sure and came across the term, Bisexual. I started addressing myself like that, and soon enough I developed some type of crush? With a girl in my school, the sad bit is I've only seen her, not met her. My parents soon enough found out near the end of pride month and gave me a talk on how it's a sin and how I'm not Old "bella" anymore or how they could easily kick me out. They treat me quite different now and always check up on me so I'm not watching anything that contains LGBTQ, they say how I'm young and know nothing about the world and how I'm being stupid. I have friends that support me but no one to talk to at school properly since it's catholic. I'm not sure what to do or feel, most of the time I lie and say I'm still straight but can't help the fact that I find both girls and boys attractive. Could someone offer some advice?

BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

Guest_17748971 Is it necessary to be out?
  • replies: 1

I really don't understand the having to be out business and why it seems so necessary. What people do in private I don't think is anyone else's business. Is it really important to have to say the gender you are into? I have kept my behind closed door... View more

I really don't understand the having to be out business and why it seems so necessary. What people do in private I don't think is anyone else's business. Is it really important to have to say the gender you are into? I have kept my behind closed doors business to myself for over 20 years and hear of the many stories of coming out issues, why is it or is it important to come out? I have made it this far without doing that and I feel its noones business than mine. Eventhough you cop the taunts regardless for not ever marrying like as if there is a rule for having to do that too. People judge regardless why give them unnecessary information. Being who you are and want to be is hard enough, just don't think I want to make it tougher. I would like to know thoughts either way of the importance or non-importance of coming out.

Monarch Coming Out, Again!!
  • replies: 3

I see a lot of good people here that are struggling with coming out or questioning their sexuality, gender or all of the above. I'm a gay man in my mid 40's and have been "out" now for about 25 years. I consider myself just an average bloke, I don't ... View more

I see a lot of good people here that are struggling with coming out or questioning their sexuality, gender or all of the above. I'm a gay man in my mid 40's and have been "out" now for about 25 years. I consider myself just an average bloke, I don't fit the stereo type and that's fine with me. I struggled when coming out to some family members and friends but I've always just thought, if they don't accept the whole me, I don't need them. Our sexuality or gender does not define us as human beings. People love judging others and pigeon holing other people. Maybe it gives them some sort of validation. I had a bunch of gay friends when I was young but always struggled with coming out at work or other social situations. Initially I thought why should I come out in the work place, at the sporting club or when volunteering. It does not define me as a person. I didn't go out of my way to hide the fact either but there was nearly always some clown who needed their own self validation and decided to be rude to say the least. I hate rude people. I felt comfortable coming out in some workplaces and not others. Unfortunately I was harassed and bullied regardless. I didn't have the witty acid tongue of some of my friends. Despite my indifferent attitude, I still seem to to take effect at what other people think. My very own validation. I haven't stopped coming out to people for 25 years. I feel worn down by it sometimes. I am on my own just at the moment due to mental and physical illness. As I recover I know I will need to get out there amongst it all and decide whether to come out, again. There's no magic pill or someone with a PhD that can help me. For me, recovery must come from within. Forgive my rant for want of sleep. Stay fabulous people!

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 223

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Shifte Not sure.
  • replies: 2

I have lived a hard life where being straight was the only option. I suffered from sexual abuse in my young teenage years, and have been thinking maybe that's why I'm in the predicament that I'm in now? I love the smell, the look, the feel of a woman... View more

I have lived a hard life where being straight was the only option. I suffered from sexual abuse in my young teenage years, and have been thinking maybe that's why I'm in the predicament that I'm in now? I love the smell, the look, the feel of a woman. But I am really attracted to P****. I don't like anything else about a man, other than that, but to a point where I think I might be gay? I don't even know why i'm writing this post, maybe just for some validation that there are some other people out there that are like me? I'm 41 and with my partner (woman) but am really wondering if I am with the wrong person/gender. Or maybe it does not even matter? I do love her, but s** life does not exist. A lot of stuff running through my head, so sorry if i'm all over the place.

Iris Feeling lost
  • replies: 2

Hello im very new here.Ok so here is the story. I have struggled with and never shared that im gay and attracted to guys to basically anyone minus a few online friends. I cant tell my parents minus my dad who may take it well. That has been the case ... View more

Hello im very new here.Ok so here is the story. I have struggled with and never shared that im gay and attracted to guys to basically anyone minus a few online friends. I cant tell my parents minus my dad who may take it well. That has been the case but in recently i feel its more then that now that im most likely trans. I have bottled that away for over 6 months or so now the problem is i recently travelled to see a friend for a week.While i was away as she described it i could be openly queer and didnt stop smiling, that was amazing but good things cant last i came back now I have an endless pain crying myself to sleep a few times now.I could maybe tell my sister she is accepting having a few gay friends herself.Im stuck between letting them know im gay (a smaller issue) or trans (1 million percent wouldnt accept)I just dont know what i should do any advise would be amazing.

Guest_12278985 Connecting Farmers Who Are Gay
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I wanted to start a conversation for farmers who are gay and looking to connect with others who share similar experiences. While I’m heterosexual, I have gay friends, and I know that rural and farming communities can sometimes feel isola... View more

Hi everyone, I wanted to start a conversation for farmers who are gay and looking to connect with others who share similar experiences. While I’m heterosexual, I have gay friends, and I know that rural and farming communities can sometimes feel isolating, especially when it comes to finding like-minded people or supportive spaces. Farming life comes with its own unique challenges - long hours, family traditions, and strong community ties - which can sometimes make it hard to be open about who you are. I’d love to hear from those who have navigated this journey:How have you found support within your community?Are there groups, events, or online spaces that have helped you connect with others?What advice would you give to someone struggling with acceptance in a rural setting?If you’re a farmer who identifies as LGBTQ+ or an ally, feel free to share your thoughts, experiences, or resources that might help others in the same situation. Let’s start an open and supportive discussion.Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!