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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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ZacOliver Struggling with my faith
  • replies: 3

Im a male 31 year old I’m a Christian and love God so much all my life Im BI sexual but mostly lean towards gay probably am gay but scared to admit it I’ve never been in a relationship my church teaches u can be born gay but it’s a sin so u must stay... View more

Im a male 31 year old I’m a Christian and love God so much all my life Im BI sexual but mostly lean towards gay probably am gay but scared to admit it I’ve never been in a relationship my church teaches u can be born gay but it’s a sin so u must stay single I had a breakdown a year ago and came out to a friend he was so supportive and I don’t know if I would be alive without him I’ve since told one other friend he too was supportive i grew up with a homophobic dad that called it vile and said some very horrible stuff and had been mentally abusive he took off after I finished school I knew I liked guys since yr 9 and hated that part of myself l had crushes on guys and felt so guilty I wanted to die especially seeing that my dad though it was vile school was so hard I managed to be okay after school and ignore that part of me for years then I had a bad case of depression after I had a crush for a guy friend and after bottling it up for years it all boiled over and I had my breakdown I tried to come out to my mum who I love so much we been through allot together she said all the right things but as soon as I saw a bit of hesitation from her I got scared and backpedaled saying I’m just lonely and confused never wanted a boyfriend I’m just so scared to tell her if she knew I’ll be happy to be out and proud but what if she says no I love her so much I get so angry all the time at work and home and this is why I’m so scared to meet with other lgbtq people in fear of being outed it has got so much better since I came out to my friend who told me I need to stop hating myself and be free I was just looking for advice and to air it all out

BooAndBear Lesbian. I want a baby. Relationship doubts
  • replies: 4

I have been in a relationship with the same women since my teen years and we are now both reaching closer to 30. We have spoken a lot about having kids together. But I'm not sure if I want a baby with a women anymore.. I think I am scared to be a les... View more

I have been in a relationship with the same women since my teen years and we are now both reaching closer to 30. We have spoken a lot about having kids together. But I'm not sure if I want a baby with a women anymore.. I think I am scared to be a lesbian parent. I sometimes think that if I was to date a man and have a baby, somehow it would be easier. I am confused and conflicted. We are going through somewhat of a rough patch and I don't know if im causing the problems because of my thoughts or if the problems are the cause of my thoughts. And it's not something I can openly talk to my partner about. I don't understand why I feel this way, I love my partner so so much and I always considered myself a proud lesbian,, but the thought of being lesbian parents terrifies me

Guest_10025 About time I find out who or where I fit in
  • replies: 1

(57M 157cm 107kg) I have been struggling with my gender association all my life. I've tried the straight way, and the gay way but each way I felt I forced myself and felt uncomfortable. From a young age through adulthood, I tried both, it felt like s... View more

(57M 157cm 107kg) I have been struggling with my gender association all my life. I've tried the straight way, and the gay way but each way I felt I forced myself and felt uncomfortable. From a young age through adulthood, I tried both, it felt like something was off. I've had trouble with kissing and feeling romantic, I think I may have a past trauma or something unbalanced in my head. Deep down I felt torn between male and female thoughts, someone said I may be trans, not long ago. I have no attraction to either sex, but when I see a woman walking nearby I see how she walks and dresses, not in a stalker way but fantasize I am them, as for guys I think differently, either as friends with sexual desires or they seduce me. I'm a mad mixture, which I can't focus on what. Some days that dreaded black dog makes me think crazy things, but that's when my mind imagines ideas and I write stories about them. Now I have found a new sexuality and it fits most boxes of my make-up but not all. Autosexuality. I've lived in imagination throughout my life, even written sexual stories in forums in the past, I imagine I am what I'm writing. I live more for a sexual imagination and fantasy rather than human contact. One thing Autosexual people do that I don't is, I'm not in love with myself. Where the hell do I fit in this world, and will I find out before my time on comes to an end (not talking suicidal)?

Guest_35246812 Struggling with being attracted to the same sex while also being a Christian.
  • replies: 3

I identify as a Christian, and my faith is very important to me. I want to be honest and authentic with the people around me, but I struggle with my sexuality. I often don’t want to talk about being gay, but I also don’t want people to assume things,... View more

I identify as a Christian, and my faith is very important to me. I want to be honest and authentic with the people around me, but I struggle with my sexuality. I often don’t want to talk about being gay, but I also don’t want people to assume things, even if they usually guess correctly. My closest friends have said, "It’s not hard to tell about you." Growing up, I didn't have straight male friends because most guys were homophobic. This made me think that all straight guys disliked gay people. However, when I started getting more involved with my wider church denomination, I felt accepted. I made real friendships with straight guys who never questioned my sexuality, and that made me feel free. I'm now at a uni, where most students are Christian and I’ve never felt safer or more comfortable. Most of the negativity I've faced has come from outside the church or even from some distant family members - that really shocks me. My close friend group here at uni is made up of straight guys, and even though we’ve never talked about me being same sex attracted, I still feel secure with them. I haven’t come out to my parents, but I know they love me. I'm just struggling with having to come out when straight people don’t have to. I’m a social person with a big personality and often banter around with everyone, but lately, I’ve started growing crushes on straight guys who have bantered back with me. One guy, in particular, has caught my attention, but I just found out he’s also "talking" to 2 other girls, and that made me feel kinda stupid. I want to stay strong in my Christian faith, but I can’t turn off my feelings. I’m not sure what to do next and would appreciate advice from people who have been in similar situations. PS sorry if this was all over the place!

Earth Girl Feel like I guilt-tripped myself into becoming more bisexual
  • replies: 8

During my school years, I was mostly straight. I occasionally had moments of confusion when around other girls, but it was very mild and didn't last long. I use to use a forum and people from school somehow found my search history and so they started... View more

During my school years, I was mostly straight. I occasionally had moments of confusion when around other girls, but it was very mild and didn't last long. I use to use a forum and people from school somehow found my search history and so they started thinking I must be gay because I only looked up "lesbian type of things", but I didn't want to do those things in real life. I could walk right past other girls back then and have no attraction to them what so ever. A couple years after school I think it was, I was looking back through some stuff that people were saying about me on there (e.g. she would only date pretty girls to try to get popular) or that I was just after something sexual (even though I didn't want to do those things in real life), but all this made me feel bad so I tried to be more open minded and tried to feel attracted to other girls in an emotional way instead of just admiring the emotional side of other girls like what you do with friends, but then I started being wayyy to open minded and kept feeling mild attraction to a lot of other girls and it was just getting awkward so then I had to try to teach myself to calm down a bit and for the most part, I feel I've managed to get back to being mostly straight, but that bit of confusion that I barley use to have when I was younger is still there. I miss being mostly straight because it was easier and it was more true to how I really was, now I just have moments where I feel like I am going crazy. I don't have a problem with other people being bisexual or gay, but I just want to go back to how I was before. It's like I forced myself to feel a certain way somehow. I know it sounds crazy, but it's really how what happened feels to me. Does anyone know anyway I can "calm down" and go back to how I use to be before I guilt tripped myself? I wish I didn't use that site now, for a lot of reasons, but one of the reasons is because if I didn't, people wouldn't have thought I had that problem and then I could just live life in a more natural way instead of forcing things to the point where I feel like it's just gotten complicated.

Guest_08188120 Am I Gay or Trans
  • replies: 4

I'm confused!Am I Gay or Trans?I accepted that i was and am gay after all these years but the past few years and now I'm leaning more trans?help please

I'm confused!Am I Gay or Trans?I accepted that i was and am gay after all these years but the past few years and now I'm leaning more trans?help please

sbella02 How did you realise you were LGBTQIA+?
  • replies: 24

I've always replied to threads but never created one myself, so here goes. I have many queer friends, and I love hearing their stories about how and when they realised their sexuality. So I'm opening up the question to people: if you're comfortable s... View more

I've always replied to threads but never created one myself, so here goes. I have many queer friends, and I love hearing their stories about how and when they realised their sexuality. So I'm opening up the question to people: if you're comfortable sharing, when did you first realise you were part of the LGBTQIA+ community? I went to an all-girls school and never really had any contact with boys until I was about 14/15, but I never thought that experiencing attraction to girls was possible for me. When I was probably about 11 or 12, I remember that there was one girl in my class who was new, and I just really wanted to be her friend for some reason. I couldn't explain why, but I just really wanted her to like me and be friends with me. I've now recognised that this is a common experience for closeted queer women. It wasn't until I was 16 when I first started experiencing feelings towards a girl. I kept asking myself "is this a crush? these are feelings that I usually have towards boys, why am I feeling this towards a girl?". It was a strange time for me as I slowly came to realise that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't straight. I ended up coming out a year or two later to my sister, who is also queer. We had never really discussed our feelings towards the LGBTQIA+ community so didn't know how each other would react. But when one of us expressed our feelings, it was quite a pleasant surprise when the other one did too. I have since become quite open about my bisexuality. I have a little rainbow in my Instagram bio, I have many queer friends and we all like sharing in our attraction towards hot celebrities and our similar queer experiences. It's interesting that since I've immersed myself in the community, I've become quite enamoured with queer experiences, so much so that I intend to carry this passion into my career, and pursue it as a potential research avenue. I would love to work with children and adolescents in future, and to be able to be an advocate specifically for LGBTQIA+ children and teens would be so fulfilling. What's your experience of realising your identity? What's your story of coming out? I'd love to hear from fellow Beyond Blue LGBTQIA+ people. SB

saturn62 I don't know what to do, I'm queer and a minor in an unsupportive environment.
  • replies: 1

I'm Bisexual & Ace, both of my parents accept this and kinda expected it. But recently, after working with my therapist, I came out to my mum as transmasc She was shocked, though I thought it was quite obvious she didn't agree. She has been blatantly... View more

I'm Bisexual & Ace, both of my parents accept this and kinda expected it. But recently, after working with my therapist, I came out to my mum as transmasc She was shocked, though I thought it was quite obvious she didn't agree. She has been blatantly transphobic in the past but within the last year she's improved heaps, and I thought it'd be okay. It's been a few months since I first came out, and she said she needed time to process this, which is understandable. But both me and my therapist thought she would come around, I love her so so much and she has been my biggest supporter and advocate throughout all my hardships (I have both Autism and ADHD, as well as anxiety/depression symptoms) but she just refuses to accept that I am a boy. She says it's because she doesn't want me to do anything permanent and ruin my future (I have explained to her multiple times, changing my pronouns and name *isn't* a permanent thing, I don't even want hormones) and while I understand that it's coming from a place of love and care I can't help but hate her. She says she isn't stopping me from expressing myself but that's *exactly* what she's doing! She won't let me use my preferred name, won't let me tell the rest of my family and is basically insisting it's a phase. She said 'that I've never really fit in or had friends, and I'm latching onto this "online persona" because it's the only way I feel accepted', which is complete and utter nonsense. She says she want's me to really think about what I'm doing, refusing to listen to me when I've been feeling this way for 4 years. She needs to understand that this is exactly why I don't trust her with my personal stuff, cause she denies it "out of love." She refuses to accept my dysphoria, saying hating its normal to hate your breasts. I don't want to live here anymore, I have a younger Autistic sister who takes up all of her time, my dad is a bipolar mess and I don't feel safe around him, he has given me genuine trauma/PTSD from his verbal outbursts I can't go to my Aunts, cause she scares me sometimes too, and her kids are even more transphobic than my mum I don't think I can go to my grandmas, because they live so close that my parents can drag me back if they want to I don't know what to do. I can't go on like this, I've tried for the past 4 years and I just can't anymore. I have no stable support system. I wouldn't survive a day running away, but I'm considering it. I have two weeks until my next therapy appt, I don't know what to do

Guest_294 I think I may be bisexual
  • replies: 1

Hi beyond blue. I (24F) have been on and off this forum for years with various relationship strains. I have had toxic relationships and painful relationships and relationships that seemed good on the outside but just felt wrong internally. My last po... View more

Hi beyond blue. I (24F) have been on and off this forum for years with various relationship strains. I have had toxic relationships and painful relationships and relationships that seemed good on the outside but just felt wrong internally. My last post was about my most recent relationship with S (26M). I broke it off for a number of reasons but primarily because I felt like I was losing a part of myself to the relationship. I felt like I didn’t know myself whilst I was with him. I have been in a series of long term relationships since I was 18 and am really genuinely single and enjoying that for the first time in my adult life. Recently I met a new friend, L (25F). L and I hit it off really quickly. After we met at an event, the next time we hung out, it was just the two of us and we were talking for the better part of 5 hours, until the early hours of the morning. I feel like she gets me and my brain. We share so many of the same interests, get excited about the same inane shit, and listen to each other passionately rant and rave about whatever hyper fixation we have each caught onto that day. We have since hung out every week, and generally for far longer than is reasonable. When I first met L, we talked about her experience of coming out and discovering her sexuality. It was something I had never considered before but as I started talking about certain things it started to make me reflect on recent experiences... The concert that I went to and felt like the female opener was more than just my normal observation of a girl being pretty, but instead I found her really hot. Or dancing with a girl at a club recently (I was quite drunk) and feeling like I really wanted to kiss her. I hope none of that sounded too vulgar, I am just trying to explain where my mind is right now. The more I think about this, the more I’m starting to feel like the way I feel towards L is more than just friendship. Every time I see her or even think about her I feel like I get nervous butterflies. We are very touchy friends and always cuddling up whenever we’re together or sitting very close. Every time she tells me something about herself I feel myself fixating on it. For example, we recently went to the aquarium together and there was an animal she wanted to see that wasn’t there. I immediately wanted to look up the feeding schedule and figure out when would be the best next time to go. She is so pretty and I get giddy talking to her. Even just typing this out I am feeling all giddy and happy.Part of me feels like this all sounds very transparent and I do have a crush on her but the other part of me thinks I have this tendency to form very intense friendships and over attach to people, particularly female friendships. I also am fairly recently out of a serious relationship with a man so maybe I am filling a gap??? I have never questioned my sexuality before but now I find myself thinking about it all the time. I keep trying to pay attention to people around me and see if I feel attracted to the women I am walking past as well as the men but I generally don’t feel attraction that quickly regardless and it always takes me a while. I don’t really notice it in passing. So it’s hard for me to figure out if this is just about L or if it’s something more. The other really dumb angle of this is I consume a ton of queer media. I always find myself really drawn to the queer relationships (real or unreal) in media that I consume. I listen to a lot of queer musicians and influencers. So part of me is scared I might be projecting from the media that I consume to my own life. I’m so sorry this is so rambly but I am pleading for help! Sincerely a person who is thoroughly confused at the big age of 24 to be realising she might find her new friend really hot.

Aussie Platypus Dealing with school as a queer family.
  • replies: 1

Hi! I’m gender fluid and recently started a relationship with an amazing woman. From the outside looking in we are a lesbian couple, her son is gay and my daughter is cis. There has been situations at his school (high school) and I’m worried there mi... View more

Hi! I’m gender fluid and recently started a relationship with an amazing woman. From the outside looking in we are a lesbian couple, her son is gay and my daughter is cis. There has been situations at his school (high school) and I’m worried there might become situations at my daughter’s school (primary). How do you navigate homophobia and transphobia at school. I want our kids to be safe to learn.