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BeyondBlue Welcome! Read this to learn more about this section of the Forums
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental he... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue Forums. This is a safe space to discuss sexuality and gender identity and share with others who have a lived experience of how these factors impact their mental health and wellbeing. We welcome all conversations here and want to know how you feel and what has helped you to be your best self. A few important tips and rules for this section are below. What is important is that this is a welcoming, kind and supportive space for everyone. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ+) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ+ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ+ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ+ space. Thank you and welcome Beyond Blue

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

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sofaking FTM about to enter the real world. will life get better
  • replies: 2

17 year old FTM. DIY HRT for 2 years (do not give me an essay on why its bad, no doctor is going to prescribe me hormones until Im an adult, I would rather do this than let myself be poisoned further through endognous estrogen) I am only out to my fr... View more

17 year old FTM. DIY HRT for 2 years (do not give me an essay on why its bad, no doctor is going to prescribe me hormones until Im an adult, I would rather do this than let myself be poisoned further through endognous estrogen) I am only out to my friends, not a single adult at my Christian school knows, they probably think Im a freak of nature butch lesbian brainwashed by the gay agenda. once i leave school i hope to blend in and go stealth and avoid talking to people from my past life at all costs, except my family who i cannot entirely cut off but they also think im a freak of nature butch lesbian and will never change their views. Will i be able to go stealth at TAFE? legal name change n allat. I will never be able to bring anyone to my room to date because I would rather hang myself than come out to a stranger. I will be stuck being a 5,7 eunuch until 2030, is this life worth living? Will someone decide somethings up with me and go E-stalk and out me? Will people want to hunt down my old teachers for some reason? I hate being a FTM with every fiber of my being. I hate every second i am truly aware of my existence, the only time that I feel normal is when Im playing video games, watching cartoons or doing drugs, this will be my future for at least the next 5 years. If anyone else has suceeded at blatantly lying about their: entire childhood down to which toys they played with, which school they went to, the real reason their parents don't like them, sexuality. Please let me know. I have to talk to at least 1 teacher about changing my name by the end of September, as i would have to get my name changed for my graduation cert.

Guest_05656585 Where do I belong?
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’m Michi and still in high school but I would like some help on who I am. All of my friends are either straight or gay and I don’t think I belong under any of those terms, I just don’t know how to fit in. I also don’t think I’m asexual, I don’t ... View more

Hi, I’m Michi and still in high school but I would like some help on who I am. All of my friends are either straight or gay and I don’t think I belong under any of those terms, I just don’t know how to fit in. I also don’t think I’m asexual, I don’t know where I belong, it’s been like this for a year now and I just don’t know how my friends will react if I say I don’t know what gender I’m attracted to. It has been hard since most of my friends either have crushes or a lover, I don’t feel like I fit in with the society. Thank you for listening

Coastie1978 Gay Married butt kind of more bi? ,-fluid
  • replies: 1

I have been married to my partner 10+years. Together 20 years. I feel I am probably more sexual/physical and emotional. But also more open.... But he is completely opposite and to be honest I have not always been!!!... exactly...I don't particularly ... View more

I have been married to my partner 10+years. Together 20 years. I feel I am probably more sexual/physical and emotional. But also more open.... But he is completely opposite and to be honest I have not always been!!!... exactly...I don't particularly like myself for being more open (hate is the real word) but I also feel trapped and wish I could be more open and honest. He is adamant that maganomy is the way and while I can respect his view I feel that I don't fit In a box that he has In mind especially when I connect with the opposite sex. Would love to here from others in similar situation thanks

Confusedbihubby Help me I’m so stuck . Married closeted bisexual
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I’m a married bisexual man . Iv been married 17 years a love my wife more than anything . We have a great sex life amd I find my wife incredibly sexy . We have discussed myself possibly being bi in the past and have even discussed bringing a ... View more

Hi all, I’m a married bisexual man . Iv been married 17 years a love my wife more than anything . We have a great sex life amd I find my wife incredibly sexy . We have discussed myself possibly being bi in the past and have even discussed bringing a man into our sex life to experiment. Now I’ve known as long as I can remember that I’m bisexual . I’ve been with men before but only ever quick meets with random guys . I crave being intimate with a man and really embracing my bisexual side . I’d love most of all to do it with my wife but don’t feel I could really let go if she was present through fear of judgement or turning her off me . As far as she knows I question my sexuality where in all honesty I know I’m sexually attracted to men . I don’t want to lose my wife but also want to be true to myself . Any advice would be great as I guess I want to have my cake but eat it too without ruining my marriage. We also have 4 kids ranging from 26 to 7

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 224

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Sevismo I wish I was gay
  • replies: 2

I have just been wishing that I was gay more and more. I am definitely strictly only physically attracted to women. Despite this, I don't really feel comfortable with or close to women at all. I relate to men much more easily. I find it much easier t... View more

I have just been wishing that I was gay more and more. I am definitely strictly only physically attracted to women. Despite this, I don't really feel comfortable with or close to women at all. I relate to men much more easily. I find it much easier to get along with men and in general, men are much nicer and respectful to me, and in a more genuine way. I have always found it true that men are much more willing to get to know me and are more likely to appreciate me the way that I am. They also tend to have personalities, morals, values etc.. which align with mine. I find that men are just a lot more energetic, down to earth, grateful, loving and less shallow compared to women, at least the guys I know. I also appreciate the whole idea of masculinity; not that I hate femininity, but I just personally don't relate to it at all. Women are just mean to me. Never in my life has a woman ever accepted me or shown any interest in me (romantic and non-romantic), not even subtle. My interactions with them make me feel like I don't matter. I have had female friends in the past, and its the same. I find it hard to relate to them and they commonly made fun of me. The largest factor was becoming insecure about my height (5' 6). It's common sense that no woman can ever truly love a guy under 5'10, at least in the west. The thought that women will never accept me the way I am just pushed me even further away. I don't hate women and choose to treat people as individuals, but I do hate the fact that I'm biologically wired to be attracted to them. Dating women is not something I want to do. Other barriers preventing me from being gay are that I don't want to be more discriminated against, and because my family will probably disown me. These are things which I cannot compromise on. As a result, it is unfortunate, but it seems like I have no choice but to date women who hate me and will never appreciate me (even if I do end up loving them). In an ideal world, I would be in a relationship with a man, but that is never happening.

waffle_puppy I'm unsure..
  • replies: 6

(Thank you so much again for reading my posts and I understand it's been a while since I've posted anything but again, thank you so much ☺️) So recently I've been questioning my sexuality a lot, even when I told my parents about it (Especially my dad... View more

(Thank you so much again for reading my posts and I understand it's been a while since I've posted anything but again, thank you so much ☺️) So recently I've been questioning my sexuality a lot, even when I told my parents about it (Especially my dad ) he tells me that I must settle in so that I won't be confused for any longer, however I'm torn between feeling as if I might be Pansexual or Bisexual because I've recently had crushes on both boys and girls, however I feel fond of those who may be non-binary or another gender as well. For example, my ex (Who I've dated in year 7 to get a taste of what dating could be like since I was curious) was non-binary. I enjoyed their company a lot, however they decided to break up with me later on which was fine. As I went into year 8 I felt as if I was a lesbian; however in year 9 (The year I'm in currently) I feel as if I like both men and women, non-binary people and people who identify with other genders, however somedays I feel like I like men and women the most. How do I figure this out? Is it even normal to feel like this?

Guest_60161145 Sexuality & religion
  • replies: 3

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my... View more

I am a bisexual Muslim. Still haven’t come out to my family but all my friends know. I have a girlfriend, we’ve been together for a year and a half. I absolutely love and adore her and I see a future with her. I myself am not religious compared to my family they are like hella and obv I’m scared to tell them in the near future. Does anyone have any suggestions they can help me out with how I could have this conversation. I love my religion but also there are things that I disagree with such as obv not being able to be in same sex relationship. I’m always confused about that because if it feels right then why did god make me this way why is he letting me have deep feelings for my girlfriend. Can you anyone please help me out I’m always in stress about this and I don’t want to ruin my relationship with my family or my girlfriend either.

Guest_93111541 Never dated before at 29yo
  • replies: 1

I'm 29 asian female lesbian and have never been in a relationship or even gone on a proper date. I've tried dating apps here and there, but most of my experiences have been with bots or just conversations that never led anywhere.I struggle with anxie... View more

I'm 29 asian female lesbian and have never been in a relationship or even gone on a proper date. I've tried dating apps here and there, but most of my experiences have been with bots or just conversations that never led anywhere.I struggle with anxiety — especially when it comes to putting myself out there — but I genuinely enjoy social things like going to concerts, seeing live shows, and spending time with people I connect with.Dating is something I really want to experience and grow into, but I'm not sure where to begin. I guess I'm looking for advice on how to navigate dating when you're starting a bit late and anxiety is part of the picture. However, I’ve often felt like if people don’t seem interested in being my friend, why would they want to date me? and it’s been hard to shake that feeling. I know it’s not always true, but that kind of thinking, mixed with anxiety and not knowing how to date, has held me back from putting myself out there.

JamesCarer Sharing my feelings when your world comes crashing down around you.
  • replies: 3

I guess it dawned on me today that I've lost everything. Pretty close to everything and in the space of a few months. I lost my mother, I lost my job, I lost my house, i lost 2 brothers and I lost my father. My mother passed away under palliative car... View more

I guess it dawned on me today that I've lost everything. Pretty close to everything and in the space of a few months. I lost my mother, I lost my job, I lost my house, i lost 2 brothers and I lost my father. My mother passed away under palliative care nextcto me at home as I was her carer for 15 years. The other family members, well, it's safe to say they aren'tand never were family. It's quite a lot for one person to come to terms with. Could it be worse? Definitely. Does it need to be? No, no it doesn't. I've never felt so isolated and alone in my life. I speak of my experience only, but the way I was born has denied me (or at least set me up to be more easily denied) a family, someone who can be a pillar for me and maybe a few kids who would remind me of love and trust. I don't have those. At 45, I fear that I probably won't. I can hear all the optomists looking for their rose-tinted glasses case, getting ready to tell me that I'm still young. The exceptions aren't the norm and I'll gladly be an exception, but at 45 I feel like most opportunities for me have come and gone. Whether I was still dealing with the trauma of believing I was born wrong and sick, or whether the other was still dealing with their trauma, whether I was adraid, immature, selfish or arrogant or the other was all that, the outcome is that at my age, I'm alone. Then, a more scary truth dawned on me. There's a real chance that's growing every day that I will die a lonely old man - or a lonely older man if life decides to treat me better and take me out earlier. It keeps me up at night and I have read so many other peoples' messages online that I know I'm not alone. So where does that leave me. I don't know to be honest. I take each day as it comes but days like today, I feel weaker, drained, sadder, more breathless and just standing up is exhausting. There's a hole in my stomach and a pain in my heart that keeps returning and reminding me that it's not over. Will it ever be? I don't know at this very moment. Perhaps, tomorrow I will have a clearer answer. Perhaps not.