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MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 219

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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60Incon_ Incont, Brain Disease Man
  • replies: 3

I wear nappies +inserts ,wipes spare plastic pants. Getting massaged with her bringing everymasues 1by1Gawking giggling her joking while exposing my tape up nappy +plastic pants/new nappy on the floor.

I wear nappies +inserts ,wipes spare plastic pants. Getting massaged with her bringing everymasues 1by1Gawking giggling her joking while exposing my tape up nappy +plastic pants/new nappy on the floor.

Anonymous_28 Sexuality confusion (Lesbian/bi and aro-ace suspicions)
  • replies: 3

I'm struggling to identify my sexuality and feel unsure about it. I suspect I might be aromantic-asexual, lesbian, or bisexual. I'm a 14-year-old female living in Australia. I hadn't experienced any romantic or sexual attraction until recently, excep... View more

I'm struggling to identify my sexuality and feel unsure about it. I suspect I might be aromantic-asexual, lesbian, or bisexual. I'm a 14-year-old female living in Australia. I hadn't experienced any romantic or sexual attraction until recently, except for a minor crush on a girl in sixth grade, which I never though much of. I've always supported the LGBTQ+ community, but assumed I'd be straight. My family supports LGBTQ+, though some of them find it strange.About 2-4 months ago, I developed feelings for a girl in many of my classes. Despite being introverted and socially anxious, I spoke with her, and we became loose friends. I idolized her; she's pretty, athletic, academically talented, intelligent, outgoing, and kind. She grew up in a loving environment and doesn't struggle with mental health issues.I don't get along well with my parents. They aren't abusive but can be toxic, so I avoid speaking to them. I have poor mental health, self-diagnosed depression, and social anxiety. With my declining mental health, bad relationship with my parents, and social awkwardness, I felt inadequate next to this girl.It was an obsessive crush. I stalked her socials, took every opportunity to hang out with her, and made a massive effort to be good enough for her.I realized it was more than platonic when I found her shockingly beautiful and imagined intimate situations with her. I had no desire to kiss her or any sexual feelings, which might be due to my age, but I suspect I'm somewhat aro-ace. To me, having a crush means wanting to be somewhere between friends and lovers, like snuggling and having romantic moments without sexual aspects. I’m also uninterested in kissing as far as I’m aware.I recently discovered the concept of a Queer Platonic Relationship (QPR), which fits what I'm feeling. I prefer telling people I want a QPR rather than saying I'm aro-ace, as I do crave some romantic interactions. I feel invalid, especially because I'm only 14. Maybe it’s just a phase, and it was just an obsessive platonic thing. It seems like most people are straight, and I can't even describe my sexuality in a word or phrase. I think I'm lesbian, but I might be bisexual or pansexual. I don't want sexual aspects in a relationship but want some romantic gestures. I'm unsure whether to come out. I'm still figuring things out and worry people will hate me or think it's just a phase. I don't know if I should come out or casually mention it. Is coming out making it a big deal, and is casually mentioning it overconfident? Is it bad to keep it a secret from my friends, or should I wait until I feel ready? I'm also unsure if I'm lesbian, bi, or pansexual. I've never had a crush on a guy in real life, but I've only had two crushes. If asked about a good-looking celebrity, I'd think of male celebrities rather than females. It's confusing, and I'm unsure. Any help and support would be much appreciated. Thanks so much x

7584883 My crush potentially suppressing his feelings for me
  • replies: 3

I’m a guy in high school and I’d like to get some advice about a crush that i have had for a long time now.For months now he’s been approaching me in school for the most random reasons. In the early days of knowing him he asked me if I was gay, and I... View more

I’m a guy in high school and I’d like to get some advice about a crush that i have had for a long time now.For months now he’s been approaching me in school for the most random reasons. In the early days of knowing him he asked me if I was gay, and I was really uncomfortable cause it was so unexpected and I was only out to one of my friends, but I came out to him cause I didn’t want to lie, and then it was really awkward cause I didn’t understand why he asked. He’s completely unaware of it but since he asked me if I was gay I’ve been able to come out to many people through him because he sometimes asks about being gay or jokingly mentions something about me being gay in front of people, so he feels really important to me in that sense. I’ve grown a crush for him, but I’m really uncertain about how he feels about me. I think he might be bisexual and maybe not completely aware of his feelings towards me. Like many people have told me that he has a “weird obsession” with me cause he always forces conversations out of with me, which I think could be him crushing on me? but I fear that he’s using his religion to suppress those feelings. He comes from a very religious family so they could definitely be against the idea of homosexuality and so he’d have bad internalised homophobia. And he has said some off putting things to me that kinda showed internalised homophobia but he apologised after and it seemed like he really cared about how he made me feel? I also feel really pressured to present myself as someone good enough to come out for, but then I hear girls are talking with him and I get really depressed about it cause i feel hopeless. And because of this crush, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the many times that I’ve been bullied for being gay, and i think the bullying I’ve experienced has influenced the way I act with him, which may make it harder for him to read me well?

Siennad23 I’m in love with my best friend (same gender)
  • replies: 3

2 years ago, in my last year of high school I developed a crush on one of my friends. At first I just thought I just enjoyed spending time with her until I realised it was real feelings (my bisexual awakening). I put in so much effort to always hang ... View more

2 years ago, in my last year of high school I developed a crush on one of my friends. At first I just thought I just enjoyed spending time with her until I realised it was real feelings (my bisexual awakening). I put in so much effort to always hang out with her that once high school ended we were because even closer and best friends (she didn’t know I had feelings for her). Fast forward a year later, we are still really close friends but our friendship became super toxic because I would always get super jealous and always started arguments because I felt she never put in effort into the friendship, when in reality I just set unrealistic expectations because I was so in love and wanted her to appreciate me the way I appreciated her. Anyway a year and a half after I started to like her, I told her that I had feelings for her in high school (we were still best friends at this stage and would text everyday and see each other so often), she said she always knew I had feelings for her but she obvs didn’t feel the same way back which I knew (there was another girl present when we had this convo. Remember her she comes in again later). Deep down she knew I was in love with her all this time. A couple months after this conversation a whole group of my friends went away on a holiday and the girl I like AND THE OTHER GIRL THAT KNEW I LIKED HER THAT WAS THERE WHEN WE HAD THAT CONVERSATION, HAD SEX. The other girl who knew I liked her said to her friend “I knew she liked her but I didn’t give a f*ck”. I was heart broken because they both knew I had feelings for this one girl. Fast forward 6 months later I’m still so heart broken and it’s so hard to get past this because we are all in the sane friendship group. They had sex because they were super drunk and they said it was a one time thing but I just can’t get past it. I don’t know what else to do. Now me and the girl who I had feelings for not only did that happen but I lost her as a best friend and with the other girl I can’t even look at her but have to fake be her friend for the sake of the group AND I JUST DONT KNOW HOW I CAN GET PAST THIS BECAUSE WE ARE IN THE SAME FRIEND GROUP and I will just always be in love with her. I need advice on how to get past this because it’s been six months and I’m still so heartbroken and can’t get over how they did this to me.

Guest_9965 I don't know who I am
  • replies: 3

I am 14 and I live in Australia for as long as I can remember I have been a lesbian I didn't really know a name for it but I new I liked women. recently I thought I might be Asexual but that name doesn't quite fit right. then I thought I might be dem... View more

I am 14 and I live in Australia for as long as I can remember I have been a lesbian I didn't really know a name for it but I new I liked women. recently I thought I might be Asexual but that name doesn't quite fit right. then I thought I might be demisexual but that didn't feel right either. I know I like women and not men but I don't actually know if I like women or if I have just told myself that for so long that I think that I do. I have never dated someone or even had a crush before so if anyone has any ideas please help.

Riggybee Questioning
  • replies: 6

Hi I'm 15 yo girl and really struggling with my sexuality. For the last year I've noticed being attracted to girls, and in early primary school I had a crush on a girl, but before now only liked boys and am still awkward around them. I'm really into ... View more

Hi I'm 15 yo girl and really struggling with my sexuality. For the last year I've noticed being attracted to girls, and in early primary school I had a crush on a girl, but before now only liked boys and am still awkward around them. I'm really into LGBT books and films as well. I can't imagine being with a guy but not sure if I'm a lesbian? I'm really anxious/confused about whether I'm just 'experimenting' or actually like woman and don't know what to tell my parents and friends. Is there a subtle way to come out? Help!

Miilo My husband now thinks he wants to be a female.
  • replies: 31

Hi everyone. I found this forum yesterday and I would like to get some advice for my situation. I've been married for 10 years and two young children, living happily before my husband started taking counselling due to his growing up background. I hav... View more

Hi everyone. I found this forum yesterday and I would like to get some advice for my situation. I've been married for 10 years and two young children, living happily before my husband started taking counselling due to his growing up background. I haven't expected anything with his counselling but one day he came to me he found out he has some gender identity issue. He then referred to hormone specialist and having a couple of appointments so far. One day, he came home with some tablets the doctor gave him which contain female hormone in them. The one is acne remedies and the other one is estrogen. When I talked to him what he would like to be in the future, but he keeps saying he is not sure, but as soon as I saw the tablet, I thought he want to be a female. I was shocked. He also found that he has Asperger syndrome around same time he found issue with gender identity, so after I was told I started depression and sleepless night from then. I had some phone counselling for myself because this is going to be a big challenge for both of us, and I need to make sure about my children too. My counselor told me I can't make any decision for him, so all I can do is relax and live a daily life for now which was make sense. I want to respect his decision but at the same time, I sometimes think if I should leave him. The reason I think that way is this situation is definitely not I was expected and it's kind of sad I can't have romantic relationship with loving husband anymore. It seems like it's all ended. (I'm mid thirty anyway.) I find sometimes difficult to communicate with him but he is gentle and nice person. It looks like my daily life filled with happiness is collapsed and now I'm in the darkness ALONE with a big secret I have to keep inside of me. These days, I noticed he started shaving his body and I found an epilator in his room. Yes, he is moving forward without letting me know. I have no courage to talk about this topic right now because I am afraid to find out more things which will make me a shock again. I don't want to tell this to my parents, friends or children just yet because I am not ready to talk. Because of this COVID situation, my children are staying home everyday even when I feel like to be alone thinking about these things but they never allow me to do so. I want to be a good mother smiling in the house but these days, it's just hard and feeling down. Anyways, I would like someone to connect in the same boat if it's possible. Thanks.

sbella02 How did you realise you were LGBTQIA+?
  • replies: 21

I've always replied to threads but never created one myself, so here goes. I have many queer friends, and I love hearing their stories about how and when they realised their sexuality. So I'm opening up the question to people: if you're comfortable s... View more

I've always replied to threads but never created one myself, so here goes. I have many queer friends, and I love hearing their stories about how and when they realised their sexuality. So I'm opening up the question to people: if you're comfortable sharing, when did you first realise you were part of the LGBTQIA+ community? I went to an all-girls school and never really had any contact with boys until I was about 14/15, but I never thought that experiencing attraction to girls was possible for me. When I was probably about 11 or 12, I remember that there was one girl in my class who was new, and I just really wanted to be her friend for some reason. I couldn't explain why, but I just really wanted her to like me and be friends with me. I've now recognised that this is a common experience for closeted queer women. It wasn't until I was 16 when I first started experiencing feelings towards a girl. I kept asking myself "is this a crush? these are feelings that I usually have towards boys, why am I feeling this towards a girl?". It was a strange time for me as I slowly came to realise that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't straight. I ended up coming out a year or two later to my sister, who is also queer. We had never really discussed our feelings towards the LGBTQIA+ community so didn't know how each other would react. But when one of us expressed our feelings, it was quite a pleasant surprise when the other one did too. I have since become quite open about my bisexuality. I have a little rainbow in my Instagram bio, I have many queer friends and we all like sharing in our attraction towards hot celebrities and our similar queer experiences. It's interesting that since I've immersed myself in the community, I've become quite enamoured with queer experiences, so much so that I intend to carry this passion into my career, and pursue it as a potential research avenue. I would love to work with children and adolescents in future, and to be able to be an advocate specifically for LGBTQIA+ children and teens would be so fulfilling. What's your experience of realising your identity? What's your story of coming out? I'd love to hear from fellow Beyond Blue LGBTQIA+ people. SB

Newbie25 First girlfriend (lesbian) and I'm confused
  • replies: 4

This is the first time I've posted something, so please be nice. I struggled a lot with my sexuality this year (I'm 16) and have accepted that I'm queer. I recently came out to my family, and my mum said that I can't identify as queer. To me, queer m... View more

This is the first time I've posted something, so please be nice. I struggled a lot with my sexuality this year (I'm 16) and have accepted that I'm queer. I recently came out to my family, and my mum said that I can't identify as queer. To me, queer means 'not straight' but she didn't like it. I understand where she is coming from but it still hurts. I've also kinda got a girlfriend (I'm female) and we met through a school program. We are the same age, but don't get to see each other often as we don't go to the same school. We have been texting everyday for the past 3 weeks and I've really been enjoying it. I told her I liked her over text weeks ago and she said she felt the same. It got pretty flirty and she asked me out. We hung out at the park for hours and at first it was kinda awkward as we hadn't seen each other since we said we had feelings. We started playing chess and other fun games and we flirted and had a great time. I was still feeling like there was so much unsaid, it didn't really feel like a date, just two friends hanging out. I was too scared to make the first move and mention anything. We said goodbye and that was it. My first kinda date with a girl. For a few days after that it felt really weird. We were still texting, but I felt we had lost our groove. I keep overthinking things which isn't new but it's getting worse, especially with her. I had to tell myself that she really does like me but I was starting to question my feelings for her. I don't know why I feel so insecure about her. Usually I feel super confident around people I like, at least boys. I still feel nervous, but not insecure. Is it because she's my first girlfriend? Then things started to click again and we decided to watch a movie at the cinemas. Once again, leading up to this I started getting super nervous and anxious about everything. The only time I wouldn't question my feelings was when I was texting her. We met early at the cinemas today to play in the arcade beforehand and I felt really awkward again. We didn't hold hands, kiss or even hug the whole date and I'm pretty sure I wanted to. I just didn't know how to. This is the first proper relationship for both of us and I don't think we have any idea how to make it work. I haven't even looked at her messages after the movie because I don't know what to say. Should I tell her how I feel? What if all the awkwardness is in my head and saying something will make it worse in real life? Help! I'm really freaking out!

Trans22 Blaming the victim (myself)
  • replies: 4

This post probably belongs in Trauma & PTSD thread but that space may not be safe for people like me.I've sought help from many mental health professionals, since Jun-2022, in relation to my complex trauma & CPTSD. I've heard many comments/suggestion... View more

This post probably belongs in Trauma & PTSD thread but that space may not be safe for people like me.I've sought help from many mental health professionals, since Jun-2022, in relation to my complex trauma & CPTSD. I've heard many comments/suggestions along the lines of "stop blaming yourself" or "shame & guilt are the wrong emotions". In my case, every element of external trauma in my life can be traced back to my being born different - my "abnormal" sexual biology & my being a trans girl/woman. I will note that the former has led to my experiencing passing privilege before HRT (someone described this as a "trans god-roll"), but it doesn't even come close to making up for 4 decades of trauma & exclusion. There is no doubt that I failed at boy/man and my body failed at male. I've recently discovered that I also failed at sexuality (the AroAce label seems to fit me).Does anyone have any success stories to share that might help me (to stop blaming myself)?