(57M 157cm 107kg) I have been struggling with my gender association all my life. I've tried the straight way, and the gay way but each way I felt I forced myself and felt uncomfortable. From a young age through adulthood, I tried both, it felt like something was off. I've had trouble with kissing and feeling romantic, I think I may have a past trauma or something unbalanced in my head. Deep down I felt torn between male and female thoughts, someone said I may be trans, not long ago. I have no attraction to either sex, but when I see a woman walking nearby I see how she walks and dresses, not in a stalker way but fantasize I am them, as for guys I think differently, either as friends with sexual desires or they seduce me. I'm a mad mixture, which I can't focus on what. Some days that dreaded black dog makes me think crazy things, but that's when my mind imagines ideas and I write stories about them. Now I have found a new sexuality and it fits most boxes of my make-up but not all. Autosexuality. I've lived in imagination throughout my life, even written sexual stories in forums in the past, I imagine I am what I'm writing. I live more for a sexual imagination and fantasy rather than human contact. One thing Autosexual people do that I don't is, I'm not in love with myself. Where the hell do I fit in this world, and will I find out before my time on comes to an end (not talking suicidal)?
