Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Badluck Bipolar Diagnosis and Treatment
  • replies: 7

Hi. I've been with beyondblue for about 10 years. I myself am diagnosed with PTSD, Depression and Anxiety issues. I recently married and found out my wife has a severe form of depression and anxiety. To the point she has suicidal thoughts, sits in th... View more

Hi. I've been with beyondblue for about 10 years. I myself am diagnosed with PTSD, Depression and Anxiety issues. I recently married and found out my wife has a severe form of depression and anxiety. To the point she has suicidal thoughts, sits in the corner of a dark room rocking back and forth crying, will throw tantrums on the floor, and generally cannot be talked to whilst she is going through these moments. When she is done usually many hours later or the following day she will apologise profusely and say that was not her saying and doing all those things. It has happened in hotels, shopping centres, and in the street. Grabbing hold of me dragging herself on the ground. When she is having an episode in a room I try and talk to her and to calm her down and ask what's going on, but she grabs hold of me and won't get out of my personal space. This is where additional problems lie. With my anxiety issues and PTSD I can't stand someone to be in my personal space generally not letting me get away. It flicks a switch in me. I just want to be left alone when this is happening. But you can imagine being late at night in a hotel in a foreign country you have nowhere to go and don't really want to leave her alone at the same time in case she harms herself. My psychiatrist has advised that I walk away from her no matter where I am. It's easier said than done though. One time it happened while I was driving. She remained suicidal and full of blame about me treating her poorly and leaving her in the middle of nowhere. I can't win. So after that very long introduction, my thoughts are that she has severe bipolar. Maybe some people can help chime in if I am incorrect. Not a medical diagnosis I know but she will not go to a medical professional because her culture deems it inappropriate to do so. And I can't force her. Is there anyone with my similar PTSD etc condition that has had to deal with a Bipolar person. I'm curious how you tackled your mental health issues whilst addressing their loved ones issue?

Newman_1 Feeling Worthless
  • replies: 2

I feel like I’m at the end of the road and I mean nothing to anyone anymore, I need help

I feel like I’m at the end of the road and I mean nothing to anyone anymore, I need help

hiIIary i feel unwanted
  • replies: 3

Sometimes i feel unwanted, like a burden who doesn’t belong anywhere, im always randomly getting angry at everyone and they distance themselves away from me. I know i have problems and for the last few years since i was only 8 i’ve been self harming,... View more

Sometimes i feel unwanted, like a burden who doesn’t belong anywhere, im always randomly getting angry at everyone and they distance themselves away from me. I know i have problems and for the last few years since i was only 8 i’ve been self harming, lately i’ve been clean but i can’t hold it anymore. I just want to change my whole personality and i try to hide myself but no matter how hard i try to control myself i just always have to mess something up, its not fair. I just want to end it. i always ask my parents for help but they just brush it off, i matter too. i just really need to talk to somone right noe.

Depresso_Espresso I feel like I'm psychotic
  • replies: 2

I am someone living with BPD, ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Panic, Mild PTSD and sometimes I do things that make me look like a psychotic person and it makes me want to hurt myself. It particularly happens in the sexual and romance space; say I text a g... View more

I am someone living with BPD, ADHD, Anxiety, Depression, Panic, Mild PTSD and sometimes I do things that make me look like a psychotic person and it makes me want to hurt myself. It particularly happens in the sexual and romance space; say I text a guy on Instagram and he doesn't respond, I'll text him on a different app, and then if he doesn't respond there I'll be anonymous and text him on a different app, and a different app. I understand this is not right, I am aware of that... I just need a non-judgemental space because I feel like I'm completely fucking broken. The fact that I do this type of stuff and have to live with the guilt makes me want to kill myself. I just can't believe that I do this kind of thing to people. It's awful and psychotic. I'm so afraid of rejection I go to these great lengths to try and talk to people but it just ends up being so toxic and so weird. Some things I done I feel like I can't live with. I feel like I'm just going to go to hell anyway so what's the harm in doing that now? If I feel guilty and miserable now I may as well not live like this for the rest of my life. Plus I just feel like I can't tell anyone about it because these are just ideations for me, not plans and that will freak people out. I'm a really kind and caring person, I care a lot about people, but all this mental health shit going on in my head has made me make some really fucking stupid decisions. I'm my own worst enemy. I just can't live with it. I have gotten better over the past few years but I still do stuff like this. I've always thought I'm going to be someone who dies young... I don't want to make that a self-fulfilling prophecy but right now it sounds better than living with guilt for another 50 years.

idRK02p4 I’m not really sure..
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I suffered a spinal injury playing footy almost a year ago now, as well as my spine I got a concussion which has also lasted a year too. I got kicked out of my school as I wasn’t fit enough to be there and my friends would constantly say... View more

Hi everyone, I suffered a spinal injury playing footy almost a year ago now, as well as my spine I got a concussion which has also lasted a year too. I got kicked out of my school as I wasn’t fit enough to be there and my friends would constantly say I’m faking it just because it isn’t a visible injury. I’ve had teachers bully me and humiliate me infront of my class, yes I am under the age of 18 but I really need someone to talk to and didn’t know how else to get it. For the first 6 months of my injury I was in a dark room and did nothing but sleep and eat after that I went to school but only for a max of an hour about twice a week. I wasn’t getting the right help and no one referred us to the right doctor.I am now at a children’s hospital going through rehab but I’m struggling to be motivated to do anything and I’m constantly nauseous, light headed and have blurred vision. I have my suicide note and tried to kill myself last year on December the 26th but told no one about it, not even my family. I’ve always had those thoughts lingering in my head and they come every now and then. I haven’t taken any medication but I’ve never thought of it as depression just as being sad.

Donella How much more can a mother take when her child has suicided
  • replies: 5

Hi, I’m not really sure why Ive decided to write on this forum. No one can truly heal me so maybe I’m after some unbiased help.My 22 year old daughter left us nearly 2 yrs ago. Her suicidewas very public, inappropriately placed and completely devasta... View more

Hi, I’m not really sure why Ive decided to write on this forum. No one can truly heal me so maybe I’m after some unbiased help.My 22 year old daughter left us nearly 2 yrs ago. Her suicidewas very public, inappropriately placed and completely devastating. I am here to ask for non religious sensible, unbiased help and advice. 868 days ago I became a broken, shattered person that feels those 868 days as if I’m back at day 1. I have seen psychologists,psychiatrists,councillors,paid for 2 therapists,1 living in America and the other in Canada and attended a 6 week grief course. I never once thought there was anything bad enough to make me feel the way I do and the silly thing is there’s no cure. No amount of pills will make me forget her, no amount of counseling can fix my broken heart and no matter how hard I cry/beg/scream I have to acknowledge my baby is never coming home and there will be no new memories that include her physically by my side. Im struggling with depression and anxiety and am out of ideas on how to help myself learn to adapt to this new me. I’m drowning in regret, guilt and mental pain. My friends/family all see me as an incredibly strong person that is handling this situation with poise and dignity but behind my closed office door or in the shower I’m a mental mess and I don’t know how to get past feeling like this. The man she was seeing on the night of her death was her narcissistic boss, her narcissistic boyfriend and was 30 narcissistic years older than her. Can a narcissist push someone to suicide if they’ve got a history but has made the decision to turn a corner and see a suicide councillor and a therapist? I believe with all my heart he coerced her into killing herself as she was emotionally unstable and would have been an easy target. I have handwritten notes from her relaying things he would say to her, to encourage her to kill herself. Any advice would be appreciated as I hate living like this.

Leone39 It’s all falling down
  • replies: 2

I’ve been suffering with all kinds of symptoms of depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts for most of my adult life (30 yrs old) I suffered through severe bullying during my school years which have haunted me into my adult life, I’ve struggled with... View more

I’ve been suffering with all kinds of symptoms of depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts for most of my adult life (30 yrs old) I suffered through severe bullying during my school years which have haunted me into my adult life, I’ve struggled with making friends due to trust issues and being able to make real connections with people, I have only my Mother who has always been there for me when everyone else has abandoned me. through all these years I made a block point in my mind even if everything gets to difficult I couldn’t hurt myself as i know the impact it will leave for her, but it’s at a point we’re I feel It’s just not worth it. I am going through a really bad part now, I’ve struggled with keeping my career on track due to how one minute I can see glimpses of happiness then next minute I can barely function, I fear what’s going to happen tomorrow and what people think of me, I feel like I everyone talks about me behind my back and it leaves me feeling sick. I’ve kept all of these feelings tucked away for many years but in recent years I told my mother as it was becoming apparent when I’d sit and stare at nothing and barely speak, I’m sure someone out there knows what it’s like to just sit there and disconnect mentally, sometimes it feels like I won’t come back mentally. i have sought help from numerous GPS and psychologists but it’s never helped I can’t get across to them how I can go from mild happiness to patiently waiting for the unfortunate time when my mother will pass and I’m left with nothing. All I’ve wanted is some peace for this time but now I’m stressing my mother too much with me telling her these things, I realise now you only get help when you do something. I want to disconnect myself from society, be put away and forgotten about functioning is getting to hard now. I never thought I’d be thinking about self harm but I was this morning… I could do it again, it feels like this is the only way to wake myself up, it’s like self expression. I came on here some years ago when it wasn’t this bad and was recommended seeking help, that never helped, I’ve called the hotlines but that’s just a band-aid. Is it almost time? Things are just falling apart now

B3kki Am I alone
  • replies: 2

I am so fed up and deflated. My heart is heavy. I want to cry but nothing comes out. I lts hard to breathe. I feel like im screaming under water. Im tired. I don't sleep. I don't want to not be here but I have thoughts of tearing myself apart. I am t... View more

I am so fed up and deflated. My heart is heavy. I want to cry but nothing comes out. I lts hard to breathe. I feel like im screaming under water. Im tired. I don't sleep. I don't want to not be here but I have thoughts of tearing myself apart. I am the first to always help others no matter what. I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb. Where do I start?

lisalovesbacon Life isn’t going anywhere
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I thought I’d see if anyone has been in a similar situation to me. I’ve been single for 6 years now, no romantic prospects and my love life is just a string of one night stands. I am now 34 and starting to realise I’m getting older and my bio... View more

Hi all, I thought I’d see if anyone has been in a similar situation to me. I’ve been single for 6 years now, no romantic prospects and my love life is just a string of one night stands. I am now 34 and starting to realise I’m getting older and my biological clock is ticking. Unfortunately it doesn’t look like this is going to change. I want children, I want to be married. I’m over being single and it’s starting to get me down to the point where suicidal thoughts are an every day occurrence.

Fezzeh Selfharm
  • replies: 5

I dont know, ever since this month everything has been going downhill. I currently got broken up with and that made my mental health go downhill. My one year of being clean all gone to waste because of them. I tried everything but nothing helped or w... View more

I dont know, ever since this month everything has been going downhill. I currently got broken up with and that made my mental health go downhill. My one year of being clean all gone to waste because of them. I tried everything but nothing helped or worked its annoying and getting worsted