Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Insanely Insecure

replies: 7

Hey all, just wanted to come on here because I’m having a really hard time living atm. not a single minute goes by where I am not hyper focused on my looks (body, face etc). I am constantly nitpicking everything about myself, especially when I’m near a mirror. It’s starting to really impact my mental health. I truly believe that no one will ever love me because of the weight I’ve gained. I always feel the need to seek validation from family. I can’t look in a mirror without seeing and feeling disgusted. it’s gotten to the point where I’m having negative thoughts. I’ve tried to seek help but it’s going nowhere. I’m seeing a psychologist, and I have tried medications, but they only make me put on even more weight. In a way I feel stupid for just focusing on myself, like I’m vain or something. But I’ve tried distracting myself - even at work - and nothing is working anymore. I don’t know what to do. stella

I feel sick

replies: 5

Something bad happened today, someone was hurt. I heard it happen but I didn’t see it. And I’ve been so stressed at work and I’m so sad. I feel like I mess everything up, like in this horrible awful waste of everything. I wish it happened to me, that... View more

I made a mistake

replies: 13

I made a huge mistake. I attempted to take my life 3 days ago, and have never regretted anything more than this. I wasn’t even that down when it happened, I drank too much and made the dumbest decision I’ve ever made. I’ve worried everyone in my family and I have no idea how I’m supposed to get back to living my life as it was before. I just want to pretend that it all never happened, but I feel like I’ve crossed a line that changes the trajectory of my life. Im so anxious about this and I just really don’t know what to do to feel better. I do know that I never want to do this again, and I do want to live.

Tired of moving forward with life

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I will start with my diagnosis I have Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Anxiety, C-PTSD, Autism Level 2 and ADD. I'm 33 years old and I've been battling a hard life for a very long time. I'm tired of trying with my life honestly. I advocate for myself because nobody else wants to do it for me it's honestly so mentally draining I just want to scream in frustration. I have many professional support networks around me I have a pyschotherapist, the community mental health team, a drug and alcohol worker and various other organisations and people I see. I have NDIS support however they can't really do much for me I have support workers that take me out but I still feel loneliness. I have no real friends so I'm basically socially isolated I've tried very hard to make friends I have joined many groups but I failed to make long lasting friendships nobody is interested in being my friend it doesn't matter what I do nobody seems to like me. I am also having issues with department of housing with my neighbours housing don't want to take any action I've made many complaints and what not and nothing gets done so it causes me a great deal of mental stress to the point of breaking down in tears. I honestly feel like I don't belong in this world I've tried many helplines beyond blue, lifeline, sane,NSW mental health line, suicide callback service and nobody seems to listen. I've even been up to the local triage and assessment centre up at my local hospital for help and nobody takes me seriously. I feel like I don't belong in society or this world I'm trying really hard and I can't seem to hang on. The suicidal thoughts have become worse.

Where do I go from here

replies: 1

So after a massive when I was 17 I have lived with severe depression for 37 years and finally diagnosed with C-PTSD in the last 3 years.I’ve been with my partner for 19 years and we have a young son together. 4 weeks ago I got the bombshell that she could no longer cope with me and wanted a separation. This played into all my schemas and that night I ended up sitting by the edge of the sea in the pouring rain with rocks in my pockets, but after a few hours managed to pull myself round but progressively considered an overdose was the best way forward. I ended up being admitted for 3 weeks. Then yesterday on cup day she got dressed up to go to the race with her new friend from work and stayed out overnight. This has pushed me back again and my fears of trust are at the fore. I laid on my bed most of yesterday trying to understand and think about what now. I honestly don’t know the answer but today hate the person I am and that there is no hope and no future.

What does help or support actually look like?

replies: 4

Looking for advice on suicidal thoughts or more what happens once someone decides to get help/support as advised. Support from friends or family if you ask them tend towards them not understanding or asking how they can help, but if you don't know how they can help, what then? Help lines and councilors just seem to be someone to talk to? I'm not knocking this but for me talking to someone doesn't seem to be a solution. What does professional help look like? Is it just psychologist appointments?

Suicidal Friend

replies: 4

Please I need help, a friend online is thinking about committing suicide and almost did one time if it wasn’t for her brother. She’s stable now but I need to know what I can do or say to her to help. I can’t lose her, she has been going through a rough patch right now with some external factors and I’m annoyed I can’t do anything physically to help. We really do care for each other and she didn’t tell me at first so she could avoid hurting me. Is there anything I can say to help her out? Please

Can’t see a way thru this

replies: 3

I’m on dsp for anxiety social phobia , most if not all my adult life been living with my parents secluded in a little house on a block of 5 acres away from people and in nature and with a view.it’s been my life and my identity. Then dad months ago in June said that we have 2 months to find a new place to live so he can invest in shares from the sale and downsize. Within that time we rushed getting rid of a lot of our belongings and had to look at urban houses to live. It was a complete shock and fear I have agoraphobia too. Now it’s the 2nd day in this new place an old rundown 70s house that is so foreign to me so big and ugly and outside is all concrete. Toxic perfume smells on carpet, I hate it so much all my values feel ripped away. I do not feel comfortable here at all and can’t see it long term. Im too grossed out to use tap water here as I’m used to rainwater and the rainwater here is very dirty. This place is a dump and looks like a 70s space ship inside I hate it it’s not homely and I just can’t deal with it.my only way out is either make money to get out of this or not be here or be severely in pain here cause no amount of doing this place up is going to make me happy

Bright teenager self harm

replies: 1

Hi everyone- just trying to get my head around what I have just been told. my wife received a call from the school councillor- that my daughter has been secretly self harming. my wife has spoken about it with her and told me not to say anything to her as my daughter does not want me to know. My daughter is a bright girl and has strong ambitions in her life. She’s is year 9 , we had no idea this was happening and we are totally gutted. it’s been going on for a few months from what I’ve been told My wife is going to arrange a doctors appointment to get a referral to someone that my daughter can talk to. And she has floated the idea of moving her from the school as she said she was bullied by a former friend who is leaving soon . She loves the school . As a dad I now feel like I’ve failed, what can I do?

Unsolvable issues

replies: 1

I'm just about done I think. Married a very long time, happy anniversaries. Children, some with autism which was unheard of years ago. Serious trouble began 20 years ago which I have sought help with (for them - suicide threats) but unresolved and abuse got serious, police involved. Motherlylove has no bounds and my dear wife arranged for worst offender to live with us. That child (over50) has taken over cleverly, I am being ignored unless work is required of menial nature, friends and immediate family have tried to reason with my wife but high stress arguements are the only result. There are two happy people in the house, and one despairing, and not coping, me. I have sought counselling, friends have offered me 'escape' accomodation, but I'm reluctant to make more waves. Many months and serious early morning black dogs I have resigned to trying a few more ways to get my wife to see the 'takeover tactics', and if not . . . . The Movie Hope Gap with a slight twist in the plot and character swaps is close to home. I don't know how this forum works - do I get feed back with any ideas? Thanks for listening

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Insanely Insecure replies: 7

I feel sick replies: 5

I made a mistake replies: 13

Tired of moving forward with life replies: 2

Where do I go from here replies: 1

What does help or support actually look like? replies: 4

Suicidal Friend replies: 4

Can’t see a way thru this replies: 3

Bright teenager self harm replies: 1

Unsolvable issues replies: 1