Hi MisChievous128
One of the most brutal things about depression would definitely have to be the inner dialogue. I feel for you so much as you face what feels overwhelming and relentless. The kinds of skills and strategies it takes to manage the dialogue at times can sometimes prove to be so far outside the square, we could never have found it without help from others.
For myself, I found the book 'Insanely Gifted - Turn Your Demons Into Creative Rocket Fuel', by Jamie Catto to be rather outside the square, with the author helping me greatly with his perspective. In a nutshell, Catto speaks of the importance of identifying our so called 'inner demons', knowing how and when they first came to life, why they exist, how each one feels or leads us to feel, how different they actually sound (with their inner dialogue) and what triggers them, leading them to return under certain circumstances. There are other factors too. I've found, on the other hand, there are the 'inner angels' or helpful guides. The inner sage, inner optimist, inner analyst (that can help analyse the hell out of things), inner adventurer, wonderer, comforter, motivator and the list goes on. At the end of the day, whether we're dealing with inner helpful guides or inner demons, it can come down to 1)how to channel them and 2)how to stop channeling them. Far easier said than done at times, for sure.
Personally, my inner demons rely on a whole stack of things, an enormous amount of triggers. They rely on mirrors (as I'm not as young and as slim as I used to be). They rely on self doubt, other people's harsh judgement, certain memories that trigger some regret, me not being able to see a constructive way forward while feeling completely and utterly lost in life, old depressing belief systems that've got to go, high levels of stress, a lack of help and guidance from others (they thrive on me feeling completely alone) and the list goes on and on.
I think one of the things a lot of people don't tend to address or even recognise is the 'You' factor when it comes to inner dialogue. It's a strange factor but one I've found to be surprisingly common. I couldn't help but ask a whole variety of people whether they find themselves dealing with the 'You' factor (and variations of that) regarding inner dialogue. I was rather surprised by how common it is. I think it's this factor that makes the inner dialogue sound so believable and devastating at times. For example, while we could ask in quiet and depressing contemplation at times 'What's wrong with me?', some folk may reach the depressing conclusion 'I'm just hopeless and I'll never find my way forward'. With the you factor, it's 'You are hopeless and you'll never find your way forward'. But it doesn't simply stop there. This can be just the first sentence in a long and relentless inner dialogue. It can carry on with 'Just think about all the stupid and pointless things you've done in your life...'. So now one of our inner demons has actually got us writing a list. They're shifty little b****rds. There are a lot of different theories when it comes to the 'You' factor. All depends on which camp you come from. Psychology has ideas on where it comes from, spirituality has ideas, philosophy and other areas have ideas. I figure the best theory or concept is...the one that comes to work for us. No point picking a theory or concept we just can't relate to.
