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Staying well

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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Paw Prints Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
  • replies: 1615

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

JS23 Feeling very Anxious after first home purchase
  • replies: 2

Hi there,This is my first post here. My partner and I have slowly been looking for a place to buy in the last 3 or so months and recently the place we are renting the owners have decided to sell. I ended up going to an auction over the weekend for a ... View more

Hi there,This is my first post here. My partner and I have slowly been looking for a place to buy in the last 3 or so months and recently the place we are renting the owners have decided to sell. I ended up going to an auction over the weekend for a place which both my partner and I have seen. We really liked the place and supringsly won the auction. Its within our budget etc but now I'm feeling really anxious and feel like Ive dragged my partner into unecessary debt and feeling buying remorse. Has anyone gone through this? I was hoping to get some tips of how to process and tackle my anxiety.Thank you

Guest_06874278 Harmful Ideas
  • replies: 1

This might be a bit of an uphill debate if you don't believe me. I was a heavy smoker due to pain and depression. I finally managed to give up, it's been 3 years since I quit cigarettes. There's somesort of problem. I was in a car accident. Where my ... View more

This might be a bit of an uphill debate if you don't believe me. I was a heavy smoker due to pain and depression. I finally managed to give up, it's been 3 years since I quit cigarettes. There's somesort of problem. I was in a car accident. Where my mum got a replacement car through the insurance, and now someone broke into the car to get copies of our house keys to break into our house. I've tried explaining to my mum that I think someone is breaking in and putting drugs in my 2 litre milk. And now I'm moderately affected by someone drugging me. Its an uphill battle but I have beaten the cigarettes. I just feel so much more reliable, responsible, and stable knowing that I won't go for the ciggie.

BullGem29 Dealing with indecision
  • replies: 1

I don't even know if I'm doing this correctly. I'm indecisive over my career and my future. I'm currently Half way through my law degree. I have a great job and my bosses have said there is a job here at the end of my degree. One of my bosses is amaz... View more

I don't even know if I'm doing this correctly. I'm indecisive over my career and my future. I'm currently Half way through my law degree. I have a great job and my bosses have said there is a job here at the end of my degree. One of my bosses is amazing to work for. The other isn't. The other boss will play the blame game and often snarls or shouts when things are done wrong even when it isnt always my fault. When it's good it's good. When it's bad it's awful. I've thought about a career change and applied for jobs just to back out so many times I must be getting a bad name locally. This particular boss may be about 4 years from retirement....maybe. My good boss is my age. I adore him immensely and it breaks me when I think about leaving as I would work for him and alongside him forever. I don't know what to do for the best. I've often come home and just felt so defeated. I can bust my backside for hours and days on end but one small thing becomes an avalanche and just beats me into the ground. What should I do from an outside perspective? How can I deal with this excruciatingly difficult boss

Regrets Fear of STD's ruined relationship
  • replies: 1

I have recently been on three of the best dates of my life with a new lady, after 5 years of being alone and not dating. After the third date she txted me that she has HSV2 and that I could stop seeing her if I wanted. Instead I had a week long depre... View more

I have recently been on three of the best dates of my life with a new lady, after 5 years of being alone and not dating. After the third date she txted me that she has HSV2 and that I could stop seeing her if I wanted. Instead I had a week long depressive anxiety attack. I made it all about me and didn't care about her feelings at all. I had a blood test and it turns out I have HSV1 so hows that for the pot calling the kettle black? I doubt she will ever talk to be again. She was such a wonderful person. Why do I do such stupid things?

ecomama Three self-care things you did today!
  • replies: 1671

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care. Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps! Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too. Best wishes EM

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care. Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps! Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too. Best wishes EM

blondguy Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)
  • replies: 1384

Hi Everybody This is only the basic dictionary definition... "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of le... View more

Hi Everybody This is only the basic dictionary definition... "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement" Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!! My Kindest Thoughts Paul

Miss T What goes on in other people's minds?
  • replies: 6

I am curious to know what other people think about....I know some people visualise a lot, especially if getting PTSD flashbacks. If a psychiatrist asks 'are you hearing voices?' isn't the truthful answer 'yes' as we all have self talk, planning, lear... View more

I am curious to know what other people think about....I know some people visualise a lot, especially if getting PTSD flashbacks. If a psychiatrist asks 'are you hearing voices?' isn't the truthful answer 'yes' as we all have self talk, planning, learning, worrying, reflecting on the past and arguments, in particular. Then, there are clairadiant voices, those of Earthbound spirits as well as those who have passed over. My current favourite is the creative voice, imagining, daydreaming.

Spellrune192 Starting Self-Care
  • replies: 2

Hello. I am working in community services, so when we say self-care, I have a fair understanding of it. I know what it is and I somehow know how to do it. However, events in the past months seem to take a toll on me. It started when I was supporting ... View more

Hello. I am working in community services, so when we say self-care, I have a fair understanding of it. I know what it is and I somehow know how to do it. However, events in the past months seem to take a toll on me. It started when I was supporting my partner while she was dealing with some health issues. It's like I have become so hypervigilant about her symptoms that whenever she says that something's up again, my brain automatically goes to the thought "Here we go again." I love her, and I know I should be supporting her, but I noticed that I haven't been taking care of myself aside from the routine of eating healthier food. My mind feels noisy. I seldom have restful sleep. I haven't been enjoying any of my hobbies lately. I want to go back to slowing down and now I do not know how to start again. It's like we've been dealing with lots of issues. Do you have any strategies on starting self-care?

RustyRoo Confused about wife’s herpes
  • replies: 3

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. Recently she announced she had been diagnosed with genital HSV1 and was having what seemed to be a severe outbreak. She then accused me of giving it to her and of having an affair which I never have. So I... View more

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. Recently she announced she had been diagnosed with genital HSV1 and was having what seemed to be a severe outbreak. She then accused me of giving it to her and of having an affair which I never have. So I got tested and was neg HSV1 & 2. I then reminded the events of ten years ago when she also accused me of giving her an STD. Further testing was required to identify what type but that I needed to be tested for everything. And she accused me of having an affair. Which I hadn’t. I was tested for everything and was neg. When I enquired about her further tests she said it turned out not to be an StD- just a false alarm. back to present day. I asked to see her medical records from 10 years. Initially the Dr had lost them. Finally they showed up and to my surprise ten years ago was not a false alarm nor a mystery std. in fact a blood test had found her to be HSV2 positive and guess what HSV1 negative. So ten years ago she lied about HSV 2 and now she can contracted HSV1 genitally. Is there anyway this could have happened without her having cheated? What should I do?