Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Tonic Music Hath Charm...
  • replies: 3

".. to Sooth the Savage Beast" - William Congreve, 1697. Blows off SORROW, as I just covered, but can Calm, Relax and INSPIRE also. I Like UPLIFTING songs too. Like Eurythmics "Right By Your Side" and many others. I have Therapy Songs for New Survivo... View more

".. to Sooth the Savage Beast" - William Congreve, 1697. Blows off SORROW, as I just covered, but can Calm, Relax and INSPIRE also. I Like UPLIFTING songs too. Like Eurythmics "Right By Your Side" and many others. I have Therapy Songs for New Survivors too (and OLD ones! ) Great Music, and sometimes the WORDS work out Awesome from a Survivor's POV. Just FIT!! Two good Starters, for a bit of HOPE and HEALING here.. "I'll Find My Way Home", by Jon Anderson of YES, and Mr Vangelis Papathanous, of Chariots of Fire Fame. "You ask Me Where to begin - Am I so Lost in MY Sin You ask me Where did I Fall - I'll say I Can't tell you When But if my Spirit is Lost.... How will I Find what is near? No Question, I'm Not ALONE - Somehow I'll Find My Way Home And Our Own Lady Olivia Newtron Bomb, (((RIP))). MAGIC from Xanadu Loved the Eerie TUNE - what IS that Guitar chord? - and when I SAW into the Words, well Olivia was the Kind voice of Every Guardian Angel I ever dreamed of, ready to Drop Everything And Fly to my Rescue.. AND Offer Healing. Awesome! "Come take my hand, you should KNOW ME I've ALWAYS been In Your Mind - You KNOW I will be KIND, I'll Be GUIDING YOU, Building your DREAm Has to Start NOW, there's No Other Road to Take You Won't make a Mistake, I'll be Guiding you" "I'll be Near You, Come ANY Time you call, Catch You when you Fall.."

Paw Prints Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
  • replies: 1200

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

hello_mae I Contain Multitudes - Thoughts on Selves-healing
  • replies: 11

I had a realisation recently. As much as I've asked for it, help isn't coming. My friends and partner are busy with their work most days, I get to speak with my psychologist 1-2 times a month, and my psychiatrist every 3 months. I guess it's a good t... View more

I had a realisation recently. As much as I've asked for it, help isn't coming. My friends and partner are busy with their work most days, I get to speak with my psychologist 1-2 times a month, and my psychiatrist every 3 months. I guess it's a good thing that my selfhood is actually multiple selves, multiple persons, multiple minds flowing through this one body, because in terms of actually healing, we're on our own. We've been trying to access EMDR, support workers to safely navigate our local community, NDIS over and over again, but they haven't helped. We're on our own - and that's both empowering and terrifying. Tonight, it's definitely more terrifying. We've been sobbing a lot. It's so unfair. Our first major trauma, not counting the everyday neglect, started at 2 years old. We thought healing would be learning we could trust and depend on others, and in a way it is the case, but in a lot of ways it isn't. No one but us is here to rock our sobbing body and personhoods. How heartbreakingly lonely it is to be destroyed as a baby, and be the only one able to stitch yourself back together. And - because there's always an "and" - that's okay. Everyday is a good day to do hard things. We can hurt and still show up for ourselves. These painful feelings are just that - feelings. They're experiences within our bodyminds. They're just a piece of our reality, not the entirety.

CMF Meditation, Manifesting, Gratitude & The Law of Attraction
  • replies: 554

Hi everyone, Not sure where to start so hope I can express myself clearly and maybe with others' input we can expand on this. I'm interested in people's thoughts/ experience with meditation, manifesting, gratitude & the law of attraction. I've recent... View more

Hi everyone, Not sure where to start so hope I can express myself clearly and maybe with others' input we can expand on this. I'm interested in people's thoughts/ experience with meditation, manifesting, gratitude & the law of attraction. I've recently started using the Smiling Mind app to meditate when going to sleep and sometimes when feeling a little anxious, like tonight. It is something i thought i could never do as my mind rarely stops, however, with persistence, I find I enjoy it. I guess i tend to have a negative mindset which I am determined to change.I always felt uneasy about thinking positive things as i thought i would jinx myself, and that whenever I made a positive comment or felt happy it would go wrong or something negative would happen. So i refrained from allowing myself to be too happy, I guess to 'protect' myself. Recently i have been feeling happier, stronger, expressing gratitude and taking note of when things have come to me when i needed them. Coincidence, or answers to what i put out to the Universe? I like to think the latter. A work colleague one day told me to manifest something i wanted, put it out to the universe , so I'm trying. Example, recently we needed to measure the floor space at reception so we could calculate how many people we could have in at one time. I needed a tape measure, which i did not have. At that moment our handyman walked into the office. Guess what he had? I am getting into the habit of practising positive thinking instead of thinking/expecting negatives. If something 'negative' does crop up, it can be dealt with, it's not the end of the world. I look for the positive in every negative situation. I am becoming more aware of being grateful for little things, things like getting a good car park at work, a warn cosy bed, a tidy house. I feel when i am expressing gratitude I am putting positive thoughts out into the universe and I notice more positives instead of focusing on negatives. Late last week we had internet issues at work and a colleague i found a little annoying. I've been feeling very drained, agitated, negative for a few days. This morning things were not running smoothly for me. A result of my negative mind perhaps? Little things became a big deal, my morning was crap. If i look back, it wasn't really an issue, i just did things in a different order which gave me more relax time this evening. The Law of Attraction, positive thoughts, positive experiences. What are your thoughts? cmf x

Doolhof Three things to be thankful for today
  • replies: 4848

Some days it is really hard to find anything to be thankful for when we feel overcome by the darkness and fog of depression. If I look hard enough, I can find something to be thankful for. I would like to encourage others to write down three things t... View more

Some days it is really hard to find anything to be thankful for when we feel overcome by the darkness and fog of depression. If I look hard enough, I can find something to be thankful for. I would like to encourage others to write down three things they are thankful for, and to realise there is a sense of hope available to us all. Sometimes it is just a little hard to find! So my three things for today are: 1: The lovely singing of birds in the morning as they welcome in the new day 2: The ability to read and write 3: A lovely hot shower. Wishing all the "family" in BB Land a day full of noticing the nice things in life. Kind regards to you all, from Dools.

quirkywords Be Yourself but who am I?
  • replies: 1886

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be... View more

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on. I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change? The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more. Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions. I will limit myself to two questions . Can you be yourself without changing? Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself? Quirky

BullGem29 Time to move on?
  • replies: 2

I've been experiencing extreme levels of frustration for some time. I'm stuck in a predicament and I'd love some impartial opinions. One of my colleagues doesn't pull their weight. Comes into work bang on 8 30, goes to lunch bang on 12, comes back ba... View more

I've been experiencing extreme levels of frustration for some time. I'm stuck in a predicament and I'd love some impartial opinions. One of my colleagues doesn't pull their weight. Comes into work bang on 8 30, goes to lunch bang on 12, comes back bang on 1, leaves bang on 5. Comes into work in a law firm in ripped jeans. Only answers the phones when they know someone else won't or needs to be prompted. Disappears to the toilet 4 to 5 times a day for 5 to 10 minutes at a time. Wears air pods in both ears all day so doesn't hear the phones or us when we talk to them. Management are aware but don't do anything about it. My frustration levels have hit an ultimate high. I think management believe it's just me being a whinger. Yesterday I was running late to work, which doesn't happen very often, she was aware early, still didn't come in early. I managed to get there at 820 so had to open up and we had a client come in at 8 30 which was theirs to deal with. As they weren't there I had to deal with the client while they wandered around the office talking or making their coffee while im running round like a headless idiot doing work or answering the phones. My predicament lies in that I could move jobs but I'm currently studying to be a lawyer and there is a 90% chance then when I graduate in 2 years time I will have a job there. What would you do in this scenario? Move on? Suck it up? Concentrate on myself and what I can do that's good for the office and the team and not worry about what they are or are not doing?

ScarlettR The benefits of walking on the beach
  • replies: 4

Now this may be obvious to point out that walking on the beach is healthy, both mentally and physically. But I think we really need to look into what makes this activity so great. Two hours in nature reduces stress. Plus the happiness of walking amon... View more

Now this may be obvious to point out that walking on the beach is healthy, both mentally and physically. But I think we really need to look into what makes this activity so great. Two hours in nature reduces stress. Plus the happiness of walking amongst other people, not being too focused one oneself and observing the sights and sounds. Plus walking on the beach is a free thing to do, and is just so fun to do, and different sights and sounds happen every day. So… for those experiencing mental illness including PTSD (like myself)… we should make it a goal to spend at least 2 hours on the beach (walking, sitting down and reading, etc).

Tonic Distraction - the Best Medicine...
  • replies: 8

Hi, Bipolar NOW (as of 2003), But Depressive since aged 14. Load O Sh*t Happening. I Learned Distraction Early.. 15? My Mind was in Guilty, Depressive Turmoil every night, Insomnia and more. I got a PILLOW SPEAKER - plastic disk with cable, small spe... View more

Hi, Bipolar NOW (as of 2003), But Depressive since aged 14. Load O Sh*t Happening. I Learned Distraction Early.. 15? My Mind was in Guilty, Depressive Turmoil every night, Insomnia and more. I got a PILLOW SPEAKER - plastic disk with cable, small speaker inside. To Distract Thoughts, Break up the Negative Cycles of despair. First I listened to music& talk back radio, late at night. Learned some Interesting things - the 2UE/2KO Twin City Show (link up). Then I got a cassette player that would keep reversing/switching and playing end to end. Sometimes Music, sometimes Comedy Tapes. Monty Python albums, Billy Connolly, USA's George Carlin... I had more comedy albums than music aged 14 - 16. Learned some Great Routines too. Very Good Distraction, cost me about $6.95 for the speaker... When my Mum was going into catatonic depression after DAD passed away, I got her a Radio and Pillow Speaker - Just in case The Magic still worked... (It didn't really. Mum had one Course of Shock Treatment, worked wonderfully Well, No headaches, loss of memory and the effect Permanent, not transitory for a few weeks only.) WALKING.... Got put on a NEW WUNDERDRUGG for Bipolar a few years back. I stopped that drug immediately, but Going OUT for a walk was the ONLY Distraction that Aleviated it in any way... I read that the Panic Attack Thing happened in about 10% of Patients. Dropped the SSRI, didn't seem to be DOING anything. I used to feel I was about a meter below the surface of the water, looking up.. Now I BOB on The Surface! And Any DEPRESSIONS Not nearly so bad as before, Must Hold One's Mood DOWN further..? Some stuff to think on! Kindest Regards TONIC the BARD