Staying well

Walking Shoes - Walking and Other Exercise

replies: 4398

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can ... View more

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can make a huge difference to how we cope with the storms that we face in life. OK, I am not real good at disciplining myself to walk, and have to really push myself to do it. And sometimes it is even hard to leave this bedroom. Anyway I am not a beginner walker, as I have stuck to sort of a plan before. So I know that it does make me feel somewhat better. But I only stayed on the plan for a couple of months, then gave up.....for whatever reason. So here I am again wanting desperately to not fail this time. So I guess this thread is for anyone that does walk, anyone that is struggling to walk because of depression or anxiety issues. And anyone else really...... I am unsure of the outcome of all this. But my ideas included: Sharing about things we have found out about exercise especially about walking. Writing down the reasons that one would chose to walk ( like something to help motivate). Being accountable in same way. Sharing about the places where we actually do walk, like the beach, gym, around the block, with the dog, out to the clothesline and back. And any other useful tips that could help others. So here we go......

Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?

replies: 1981

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

Hello

replies: 3

Hi I'm Mick and just signed up. K10 test confirmed what I thought I was feeling. I've acknowledged it. I'm good at hiding my stress and thoughts. I'm safe. And sorry my writing skills rubbish. Good to know that thoughts subside. And help is out there... View more

Hi I'm Mick and just signed up. K10 test confirmed what I thought I was feeling. I've acknowledged it. I'm good at hiding my stress and thoughts. I'm safe. And sorry my writing skills rubbish. Good to know that thoughts subside. And help is out there. Thank you.

Three things to be thankful for today

replies: 4910

Some days it is really hard to find anything to be thankful for when we feel overcome by the darkness and fog of depression. If I look hard enough, I can find something to be thankful for. I would like to encourage others to write down three things t... View more

Some days it is really hard to find anything to be thankful for when we feel overcome by the darkness and fog of depression. If I look hard enough, I can find something to be thankful for. I would like to encourage others to write down three things they are thankful for, and to realise there is a sense of hope available to us all. Sometimes it is just a little hard to find! So my three things for today are: 1: The lovely singing of birds in the morning as they welcome in the new day 2: The ability to read and write 3: A lovely hot shower. Wishing all the "family" in BB Land a day full of noticing the nice things in life. Kind regards to you all, from Dools.

Overwhelmed by toxic people

replies: 5

I'm writing this as I find putting down my thoughts helps me. Over the last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly angry with my dealings with people and situations where I now want to withdraw from the world. I'm a retired customer serv... View more

I'm writing this as I find putting down my thoughts helps me. Over the last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly angry with my dealings with people and situations where I now want to withdraw from the world. I'm a retired customer service representative who was used to dealing with a variety of people, mainly good clients, yet the bad ones and the nature of the job (in health) burnt me out. The management also gave very new staff extra roles, which were at the same pay rate, over longer term capable staff, with us having to advocate strongly to increase our knowledge, but we were inexplicably met with resistance. I kept telling myself not to worry about it, just do my job, yet it really got to me. The centre had a very high turnover, some staying 3 months to a year. Some staff "disappeared" and some received thanks for their service. I lasted 2 and a half years. After a family double death of elderly in-laws and then me having an epileptic episode of the amnesia kind, I felt that I couldn't continue in the job, so I resigned. Rightly or wrongly, I felt very hard done-by by management, and for months before leaving I had nightly nightmares. I was one of the "disappeared" as when I emailed a colleague to say goodbye, she was shocked to learn that I'd left. Being on epilepsy medication, I don't know if it caused issues or if it was my thinking, or a combination of both. An earlier medication that the doctor said may make me feel grumpy, made me feel 'wonky' and when someone upset me, I became so angry. Luckily, I didn't show this in the workplace? After leaving the job, it took me months to get over my anger. During the last two years, my husband and I have had issues with two neighbours that I previously wrote about. One, being alleged criminals who the police seem to be on a catch and release mission from time to time. We steer clear of them letting sleeping dogs lie. Even now in the early hours of the morning, I can hear them in the yard. Maybe another car for the police to tow away? The other neighbour excavated up to our fence line which backs onto a Right of Way, not on their side of their property. They have undermined our soil and fence causing erosion. The council checked it but as the excavation is under a certain height, the council says it's now a civil matter. Recently I asked the woman to reinstate the land. She said a gully had always been there - untrue; that no excavation had been done - we saw the bobcat and her husband had told a tradesman in front of me that he had done it; they had council approval - untrue. Lie, deny, fabricate, distract. As in a horror movie when an evil spirit is absorbed into an innocent victim, I felt physically rotten to the core, as I was angry and it was so unjust, selfish and entitled. After a week, though still angry, at least the rotten feeling has dissipated. The woman said that I am the common denominator with having issues with 2 neighbours, and it could look that way, even to me, yet we haven't done anything to cause issues, only issues have been thrust onto us. After this 'meeting', we will unfortunately have to go through with legal action, as if we fix the fence and land ourselves, they will still be out there digging gutters undermining the land and fence, so it may lead to obtaining an Apprehended Personal Violence Order against them. I am reluctant to venture into our yard as the woman and her husband are always around with them telling us we should do this and that with our land. I won't even let my grandchildren play there as I'm concerned that they will be yelled at. I wish we didn't have to deal with them at all! And though I wish to be off this planet, these people are totally not worth it. Oh, and lastly, whilst watching a movie tonight where an actress wore a similar dress to one that I have, my darling husband brought up that when going out with him, I should wear makeup and look better, AND that ten years ago, a husband of his sister, who is now in his 90's, said I should have worn a better outfit to a family wedding!! Can you believe it!! I told my husband if he likes makeup, then he can wear it himself. And saying all this to a woman who has had issues with her looks since the age of 4.

Confused morally

replies: 4

Hey there BBers, Simple question I'm so interested to hear what other people, especially people with mental illness experience think of this one. Is it better to be who you are or who you should be?

Groundhog Day's

replies: 5

Hello there, my name is Steven, im a male in his mid twenties & i need to speak about something thats been lingering on my mind for the past few years, I already tried explaining this to family/friends, all I get is the starry eyed response. How does... View more

Hello there, my name is Steven, im a male in his mid twenties & i need to speak about something thats been lingering on my mind for the past few years, I already tried explaining this to family/friends, all I get is the starry eyed response. How does the majority do the same thing everyday like its nothing, you gotta drag yourself out of bed every morning just to go to a place you never Intentionly wanted to just to trade your time for a piece of paper with people printed on there who i have no clue nor interest of. You have to face impatient people on the road, hot heads, traffic accidents, traffic, wannabe mad max actors, then when you get to the workplace, you're forced to work like a robot with people who you dont even get along with like putting up with unessesary stress & criticism even just by being at you job, then you get scolded by bosses who hardly praise you for doing a good job but shame you for not trying harder when you just wanna get the work done & go home with no drama's etc. Here's the kicker tho, despite how much you dont like it, you have to do it anyways, not because you want to but because thats how the system's design according to meritocracy terms, after years of evolution right up into the so called modern era, you think by now things would start to get easier for everybody, instead they just get more harder & harder with no praises but belittledness by bosses, coworkers, family, all becuase you think things could be better & not wanna be part of the rat race. Now I do recieve a side income, its not something I can live on permanently due to how crazily impulsively expensive everthing continues to be, but on the side I job hop alot, & with this privilege I came to know alot just how disturbing & shallow the workforce is today, most people have a really nasty bogus attitude, they value their ego than looking at facts, everybodys always putting up a font all the time, theres a certain amount of workplace politics that youre forced to deal with, you get treated indifferently all becuase you wanna get the job done & not engage in vauge small talk conversations, youre forced to play a rigged game that you didn't sign up for just to impress others who you dont even like, you always have to deal with the feeling of getting laid off or how am I gonna pay my rent & bills etc, if behind theirs minds are saying that they dont like this & this isnt right, then why keep on perpetuating this foolish cycle, the truth is it can be better, tho it seems everybody wants to keep things the same forever, like how is this even possible? Its no wonder people get depressed, anxious, miserable, ptsd, ocd, bipolar, borderline personality disorder, arthritis, insomnia, anhedonia, easily irratated, anger issues, then they seek help only to be put on anti depression tablets, therapy, psychologists, psychiatrists, mental institutions etc, like do not see where im coming here. Then you have destructive substances that exist like alcohol, smoking, pornorgraphy, gambling addictions, if these things did not exist just imagine how even more crazy the world would be. We are all working ourselves to death over what a pipedream that most likely will never become a reality because of how greedy & self centred this species has become, only to exist for the top 1% who are machiavellian's, narcissistic & manipulators to their own citizens who actually put their trust into because who else are they gonna trust? While growing up ive always been told to be grateful being given life, its easy enough to say so, but what is there to be really grateful for, a life where im forced to participate in foolish schemes, to give my time that i wont get back to corporations who see me as a number & a tool, to realise everything i gained start to fade away as time goes on, to be part of a mediocre society thats passive aggressive, suppressive & pretentious, seriously if i knew things were gonna be like this before stepping foot into this realm with a choice then I'd choose not to be here, sure life gives but mostly takes, you age, you start loosing loved ones, you become obsolete from your job, it doesnt care about you, which is why its very hard to find a real good reason to bring someone here just so they can go thru the same things that youre going thru, sure misery loves company but also happiness doesnt loves misery, its a vicious cycle. Anyways thats all I have for now, thanks for reading.

Existential thoughts

replies: 4

Writing this to see if anyone relates. Lately I’ve been pondering about what my future should hold and whether there is any point in working towards something. I’m extremely down-to-earth, as me being an atheist is evidence of. I believe that there i... View more

Writing this to see if anyone relates. Lately I’ve been pondering about what my future should hold and whether there is any point in working towards something. I’m extremely down-to-earth, as me being an atheist is evidence of. I believe that there is no purpose in life, and that we are simply just the interaction between molecules. In a large universe, we’re so small and insignificant that following a belief around an anthropocentric idea (religion) seems almost incomprehensible to me. I feel if not for the guilt of harming my parents and friends mentally, I would gladly take my life, as I find there’s no reason to bother living. Not like my life is under any extenuating circumstances (which probably sounds ridiculous as most cases of suicide are from those who suffer pain).There are various aspects of life that others seem to find enough to keep them in this life (excluding the natural fear of death as biological evolution has given us). Those could be normal desires in our society such as money, fame or love, or they could be motivated by altruism (not just by directly helping people but also by inventions or advancing science, etc). However, none of those feel like it’s worth living for. I couldn’t care less about society, and why should I care about getting anything from this life when in the end I’ll just die and disappear. Sometimes I daydream about if my parents died, then I would like to think that I would be free to kill myself (don’t take this as a sign that I would harm my parents in any way). I would imagine every little detail, such as what to write in my suicide note, how to guarantee death, etc.The only real motivator/desire I have is not to upset my parents, as they care for me very deeply (and clearly I still have some tinge of empathy as I worry about their agony as a result, even if I died, which sounds ridiculous). Thus I study, but recently it’s been harder to get myself to work. I’ve always done well academically, so the lingering thought always resurfaces, that I could probably get away with not applying myself and still end up with a good job and all. I rambled a little, and I have no intentions of killing myself just to set the record straight. Let me know if anyone relates to some of what I said.

Alone at 70

replies: 7

As you can guess I'm 70, but oddly find myself totally alone with no one to talk to. I've lived most of my adult life in NSW, but I have no family in this state by a bizarre twist of fate. Closest I have is a nephew in Melbourne and a daughter in Tas... View more

As you can guess I'm 70, but oddly find myself totally alone with no one to talk to. I've lived most of my adult life in NSW, but I have no family in this state by a bizarre twist of fate. Closest I have is a nephew in Melbourne and a daughter in Tassie who I very rarely hear from. I've also had 5 failed marriages, last one of 10 years ending last year after I packed her off back to the USA. Short version is she stayed in bed 23 hours every day doing nothing, got addicted to painkillers and even after doctors warned her off it and then proved there was nothing physically wrong with her, the GP still wouldn't force her off it. By that stage she had become abusive. I had 1 friend of 8 years in this small town but she passed away last month totally unexpectedly. The only other close friends are in another town, and any contact has to be done by me. So, life is frustrating, and I only see people when I go shopping each week. Have a couple of good neighbours but rarely see them as they work and don't seem to be around much on the weekends either. So, there's my lot, and I'm wondering, why bother? Not sure this is the right place to post, so feel free to move it.

Christmas isn’t my favourite time of year

replies: 25

I'm not that much of a fan of Christmas. To me, it's fake. And pressure to be cheerful, social, and “festive,” and I often find myself feeling the opposite. And so I’m also trying to look after my mental health a bit more this year, but I’m curious h... View more

I'm not that much of a fan of Christmas. To me, it's fake. And pressure to be cheerful, social, and “festive,” and I often find myself feeling the opposite. And so I’m also trying to look after my mental health a bit more this year, but I’m curious how others cope during this season. What things do you do at this time of year to take care of your mental health?Anything that helps you stay grounded, calm, or just get through the holidays? Thanks in advance to anyone willing to share.

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Walking Shoes - Walking and Other Exercise

replies: 4398