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Just_Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 708

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Humility and "the good samaritan"
  • replies: 2

As a boy, for whatever reason, I used to boast about my exploits. Once I joined the RAAF at 17yo, being the youngest of my squadron, I was out of favour with older men...as they saw my boasting as immature. So, eventually I got the idea that doing so... View more

As a boy, for whatever reason, I used to boast about my exploits. Once I joined the RAAF at 17yo, being the youngest of my squadron, I was out of favour with older men...as they saw my boasting as immature. So, eventually I got the idea that doing something for no award whatsoever is a great example of humility. I'm not religious, my old mate is and we sat down a few years ago to watch a movie about a SAINT of humility ST Gemma Galgany. His humility was unhuman like, totally amazing. How can we harness this great human ability of humility. I suppose I first really adopted some humility once I'd left my ex wife and had my kids with me every second weekend and on holidays. Although paying huge child support, my kids needs and wants came first (as we all do). If they needed more clothing and the child support should pay for it...I purchased it anyway. It simply wasn't worth the arguments. My mentality was that I didn't care how financially well off my ex was. (I should point out that even working 3 jobs she was financially better off on a pension and child support). So, humility in my opinion can grow as we get older. We can improve ourselves as people as we grow older. How about xmas? There are countless people serving the homeless, no benefits except their smiling faces or grim faces that underneath the matted hair and the overcoats- appreciate. This is what is amazing here on this forum. Strangers helping strangers. We've had members come here to talk about their worries then over time spread themselves to helping others that join up. We rarely know if we help people, little feedback....it doesn't matter. That's what passionate humans do- leave a legacy of compassion...love and understanding. To all those champions out there in cyber world thankyou for being here. You are amazing. for any member out there that answers another members post, even just once, to help out, thankyou for doing so. For the moderators and management that battle all year to make this a better place for new members, thankyou. (I'm not religious) The parable of the Good Samaritan is a parable told by Jesus in Luke 10:25–37. It is about a traveler who is stripped of clothing, beaten, and left half dead alongside the road. First a priest and then a Levite comes by, but both avoid the man. Finally, a Samaritan happens upon the traveler and arranges for rent for the traveler in an inn for the night, food and water. The traveler never knew the identity of the "good Samaritan". Tony WK

Guest_1055 Walking Shoes - Walking and Other Exercise
  • replies: 4041

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can ... View more

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can make a huge difference to how we cope with the storms that we face in life. OK, I am not real good at disciplining myself to walk, and have to really push myself to do it. And sometimes it is even hard to leave this bedroom. Anyway I am not a beginner walker, as I have stuck to sort of a plan before. So I know that it does make me feel somewhat better. But I only stayed on the plan for a couple of months, then gave up.....for whatever reason. So here I am again wanting desperately to not fail this time. So I guess this thread is for anyone that does walk, anyone that is struggling to walk because of depression or anxiety issues. And anyone else really...... I am unsure of the outcome of all this. But my ideas included: Sharing about things we have found out about exercise especially about walking. Writing down the reasons that one would chose to walk ( like something to help motivate). Being accountable in same way. Sharing about the places where we actually do walk, like the beach, gym, around the block, with the dog, out to the clothesline and back. And any other useful tips that could help others. So here we go......

Guest_1055 Vent and then let it go...
  • replies: 863

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from wit... View more

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from within me. So thought this thread could be for those sort of things. No one replys to you with words or anything. It's a place to let it all go. Just dump whatever it is you want to say and leave it here. So yeah no replys please.

romantic_thi3f What's the best gift you've ever received? Or on your wishlist?
  • replies: 9

Hi, With Christmas around the corner I'm a little behind on my Christmas shopping (aka have not started and overwhelmed by choices) so I thought maybe I'd ask you all for help. Is there a Christmas present that really stuck out to you? Something fun ... View more

Hi, With Christmas around the corner I'm a little behind on my Christmas shopping (aka have not started and overwhelmed by choices) so I thought maybe I'd ask you all for help. Is there a Christmas present that really stuck out to you? Something fun you got one year? Or, if you're stuck, what's something on your wishlist? rt

Paw Prints Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
  • replies: 558

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

ecomama Three self-care things you did today!
  • replies: 1538

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care. Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps! Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too. Best wishes EM

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care. Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps! Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too. Best wishes EM

blondguy Mindfulness: What Is It? (Even if you dont know please post so we can help grow the forums accordingly)
  • replies: 1340

Hi Everybody This is only the basic dictionary definition... "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of le... View more

Hi Everybody This is only the basic dictionary definition... "Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment without judgement" Please be as blunt you wish....If you dont have an idea about mindfulness it would be great if you could let us know If mindfulness hasnt worked/or is too broad a concept for you it would great if you can let us know your thoughts too If mindfulness has helped you, please help others to help themselves by posting how you have embraced this mindset It goes without saying that the forums are a judgement free zone and I really hope that everyone can jump in and have their say Your input is highly valued no matter how you respond to this topic. There are no experts here...New Posters are Most Welcome!! My Kindest Thoughts Paul

AllTooWell Coping strategies
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I’m a 47 yo female new to forums. I believe I’m suffering from mild anxiety and depression. Everything I’ve read suggests that I talk to my GP however I don’t feel comfortable to speak to anyone about my mental health just yet. I’m wondering ... View more

Hi all, I’m a 47 yo female new to forums. I believe I’m suffering from mild anxiety and depression. Everything I’ve read suggests that I talk to my GP however I don’t feel comfortable to speak to anyone about my mental health just yet. I’m wondering if anyone has some coping strategies that they can suggest for managing myself until I feel ready to talk to someone?

mmMekitty Can you list what you like about yourself?
  • replies: 40

Hello everyone! [Grinning LRC*]Please, as a challenge or to share, I would like to invite anyone & everyone to write a list of any length you want, of what you like about yourself.We might even have a discussion about what to include on these lists o... View more

Hello everyone! [Grinning LRC*]Please, as a challenge or to share, I would like to invite anyone & everyone to write a list of any length you want, of what you like about yourself.We might even have a discussion about what to include on these lists or not.Most of all, for this Discussion, I hope, for those who find this really difficult, that reading what others like about themselves will give you some ideas of what is possible. Maybe you will find you like some of these things about yourself?Big hugzies to everyonemmMekitty* LRC = Little Red cat, who wasn't really so little.

white knight Are you good enough? low self esteem
  • replies: 6

It's common to have over critical parents that get the balance of praise and criticism wrong. It results in often permanent damage to our mental health and an adult life of deflatedness leading to low chance of finding and maintaining a partner as we... View more

It's common to have over critical parents that get the balance of praise and criticism wrong. It results in often permanent damage to our mental health and an adult life of deflatedness leading to low chance of finding and maintaining a partner as well as happiness is elusive. Low self esteem effects every part of our being with everyone. Our partners often pay the price for our condition because all their eagerness to bring you up to speed where contentment permanently remains, they find their partner drop down again and again. Some years ago I had a serious evaluation of this situation I found myself in. I concluded- yes I knew the source- my mothers excess dominance and criticism even as an adult- her yelling when low voice command would have sufficed and her stubbornness to attend to her own mental health issues (suspected BPD). The question then became- what is the action/s I can take to ensure I have a happier life and patch up the damage? I continued professional appointments but I knew the major change had to come from within. As with the thread "the best praise you'll ever get" I kept patting myself on the back for being simply a good person. Do that often enough and it sinks in and the removal of the culprit in my life a personal choice Sometimes we have to rise above the wrongs being done to us to be where we deserve to be. That then leads to "I am a good person, I'm good enough, I was dealt poor parenting and I've now accepted that it is part of life.. a poor hand dealt. Easier said than done of course, but you have to find that direction in order to achieve. The alternative is to suffer in silence and do nothing. As the saying goes "evil flourishes when good people do nothing". Evil being poor learning behaviours carried on to the next generation combined with lack of praise. Constantly over correcting a dog will see its tail between its legs and timid forever, praise it regularly and it loves life but obeys Low self esteem is not your fault, it can be repaired through persistence and belief in yourself, acceptance that you were mistreated. Parents might say like "I was a bit hard on you" or "I shouldn't have treated you that way" and you can choose to forgive. But without remorse forgiveness is less reachable either way you were always good enough... TonyWK