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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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amd1953 Marital Status
  • replies: 0

Filling out the recent 2026 Census Form, I inevitably arrived at the section named "Martial Status". As I worked my way down the list, I wished that I could have ticked "Never Married". Oh, how I wish that I could have done that truthfully. As it was... View more

Filling out the recent 2026 Census Form, I inevitably arrived at the section named "Martial Status". As I worked my way down the list, I wished that I could have ticked "Never Married". Oh, how I wish that I could have done that truthfully. As it was, I ticked Divorced although I like to think of myself as "Single".Anyway, it doesn't really matter to anyone else on this planet, except me. I was not only married once for all of the wrong reasons, but I also put myself through it all again six years afterwards. So, I was double whammied. Two divorces in one lifetime. Two completely different marriages but neither of which I should have bothered with. The amazing thing with the benefit of hindsight was that not once did I consider that either of them would fail. Having learned a few things with the first marriage, I felt suitably qualified to ensure that nothing bad happened with the second. Well, I still had a way to go with the learning process. To this day, I ask myself how I managed to live through either of them. The answer always comes back that I had no idea of what I was doing. I just thought that falling in love was the key to everything, but it wasn't. It showed me how ill-prepared I was for life let alone marrying another human being. Plus, I had this romantic notion of love and romance which didn't get off the ground with who I was married to. Would I get married again? Absolutely not. Human relationships are out of my reach on any scale. Would I caution anyone else against marriage? Absolutely not because I know that everyone is different and someone else might be born to be married but not me. I'm not built to sacrifice everything I have and then find out that I'm not considered good enough. Not worthy of being a husband and not worthy of being loved. But at this stage of my life, I have found the passage of time to be a great healer.I don't need anyone to complete me because I am already complete and unique as a human being. I value my freedom and my sanity more than any kind of relationship.amd1953

Guest_1055 Walking Shoes - Walking and Other Exercise
  • replies: 4556

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can ... View more

Hey to anyone reading this. Last night I had an idea about starting a new thread about exercise especially walking. I am aware that walking is very beneficial for our mental, emotional and physical well being. And by actually doing it....well it can make a huge difference to how we cope with the storms that we face in life. OK, I am not real good at disciplining myself to walk, and have to really push myself to do it. And sometimes it is even hard to leave this bedroom. Anyway I am not a beginner walker, as I have stuck to sort of a plan before. So I know that it does make me feel somewhat better. But I only stayed on the plan for a couple of months, then gave up.....for whatever reason. So here I am again wanting desperately to not fail this time. So I guess this thread is for anyone that does walk, anyone that is struggling to walk because of depression or anxiety issues. And anyone else really...... I am unsure of the outcome of all this. But my ideas included: Sharing about things we have found out about exercise especially about walking. Writing down the reasons that one would chose to walk ( like something to help motivate). Being accountable in same way. Sharing about the places where we actually do walk, like the beach, gym, around the block, with the dog, out to the clothesline and back. And any other useful tips that could help others. So here we go......

amd1953 Beyond the Blue Horizon
  • replies: 73

I sense that I am approaching the blue horizon. Even so, it retreats further away from me as if trying to conceal something important from me. What is there to hide that is worth so much subterfuge? What is it I need to know in this final stage of li... View more

I sense that I am approaching the blue horizon. Even so, it retreats further away from me as if trying to conceal something important from me. What is there to hide that is worth so much subterfuge? What is it I need to know in this final stage of life? Who knows? Who cares? Well, I certainly do. I want to understand everything that comes my way whether it is meant for me or not. Life is short enough without the sensation of feeling cheated and deceived. The challenge is to discover how to cut through the nonsense that cloaks its true meaning. If I were a camel, I would feel at home in the desert. If I were a dromedary, I would, indeed, feel cheated. See Wikipedia for camels/dromedaries. Spoiler alert! A dromedary only has one hump. If I were searching for a new home, I would look to the exoplanets. Cosmologically speaking, a much better place to permanently reside. The moon would be much too close for comfort. I am thinking another galaxy would be great. Certainly within a short drive to the restaurant at the end of the universe for tea and crumpets. Like Albert Camus, I am a rebel without a cause. I choose the absurdist rather than the existentialist philosophy. Everything in this life is engineered towards those with skills, talent and the will to succeed. I have now lost sight of the blue horizon. I am in freefall back to earth where I will lie quietly in the lush meadows and star at the blue sky.amd1953

luciban Anxiety pre travel
  • replies: 1

I have had an increase in my anxiety wirh some depression through menopause. We are leaving to go to UK Scotland next Monday and are meeting friends over there. It has been very stressful planning rhis trip as our friends want to pre-book every attra... View more

I have had an increase in my anxiety wirh some depression through menopause. We are leaving to go to UK Scotland next Monday and are meeting friends over there. It has been very stressful planning rhis trip as our friends want to pre-book every attraction and even some meaks before we go. My husband and i are slightly more rwlaxed. It has resulted in 2 wks of phone calls between us with negotiation about whether to book ahead or not. I am also very concerned about my youngest son while we are away as he has a history of depression/suicudecattwmpt alrhough this was about 8 yrs ago. He lives independently and has a job but i always worry especially when we leave the country. I am feeling like i am not at all prepared for the trip with these concerns on my mind and a recent stomacg virus which i am recovering from. It is a sense if overwhelm where i am normally a very active, organized person. I have negative feelings about the trip and hope these thoughts are irrational because of stress and being unwell. I would appreciate thoughts of anyone else who has experienced this

Realist_Sapien Life Is Random & Pointless
  • replies: 37

Welcome to my first post, just to disclaim this has nothing to do about me being depressed or suicidal. I just cant get over how unbelievably pointless & painful this life factly is, now when i say this i don't mean that we should all just stop what ... View more

Welcome to my first post, just to disclaim this has nothing to do about me being depressed or suicidal. I just cant get over how unbelievably pointless & painful this life factly is, now when i say this i don't mean that we should all just stop what we're doing & start staring at a wall, but its really important to not be naive about this, which is kinda what society is, a whole cesspool of contradictions & distractions, most of the things that we do nowadays are to just feed the mind & keeping the body satitsfied from breaking down too suddenly by stimulation such as releasing chemical rewards, all these can be achieved but cant always guaranteed happiness, which is another thing i cant stand about this civilisation or should i say work in progress, its almost like if you cant be happy to a certain extend or people please to fulfill theyre jester full desires, theyre gonna be contempt of you no matter what, all becuase you cant live up to absurd expectations, nobody's gonna be problem free in this world, which is why most of the things we do are just to kill time, which is why i can understand why people get addicted to things, because we live in a reality thats pretty disappointing, even those things have a limit, it may be giving you relief, but realise it never lasts long, only because we're not so used to looking into healthier outlets, to be honest i dont think we live in a healthy world, most things are instant gratification, chasing pleasure, looks maxing, because sooner or later you have to ask yourself why do we need all these things just to get by in life that never lasts forever, its only awkward at first when youre not so used to asking such things, like being conditioned since the start of birth, by people who arent even aware themmelves of whats going on around them, but expect you to know what you wanna do when really its not as straight forward as anyone thought is was gonna be, for pete sake, people cant even figure out what theyre gonna do next weekend, yet they expect you to have your future figured out, we live in a double standard judgemental condescending populous, which is why its very important to see behind the scenes in everything, its dangerous to be gullible by believing everything you see or hear, It is quite certain that society doesnt really do a good job teaching these sort of attributes. Stupid how they only give you 2500 characters, its like theyre allergic to hear what people really have to say, anyway thank's for reading.

s0lar-flare how to combat this feeling of persistent loneliness
  • replies: 0

hey everyone!im a year 12 student with less than 3 months left of school. it feels like everyone has clocked out of their friendships (especially with me) and are now starting to phase me out of their inner circle. i have a friend (we’ll use her init... View more

hey everyone!im a year 12 student with less than 3 months left of school. it feels like everyone has clocked out of their friendships (especially with me) and are now starting to phase me out of their inner circle. i have a friend (we’ll use her initial, G), and she’s invited me to her 18th birthday party, but, she has not properly spoken to me in about a month? we haven’t had many in depth conversations like how ‘normal’ friends would at all in about that long. i get that she’s busy with school, but im getting mixed signals, and now the rest of my friend group is seeming to follow her and her boyfriend (J) in hanging out in a different area at lunchtime, and not even saying hello to me at all during the day. i even asked G where they were and they just said “outside” like they don’t want me to know where they are so i won’t ’disturb the peace’. really weird, considering they claimed to support me when i was dealing with someone who sexually harrassed me. it’s really weird and isolating and it makes me feel kinda depressed ive also been recently diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, so i dont know if these perceptions of people are just my anxiety reading into everything or im actually perceiving things correctly and they actually want to break off the friendship anyone else experience this? let me know how you got thru it!! - sincerely, a struggling year 12

Guest_01914878 Existential thoughts
  • replies: 5

Writing this to see if anyone relates. Lately I’ve been pondering about what my future should hold and whether there is any point in working towards something. I’m extremely down-to-earth, as me being an atheist is evidence of. I believe that there i... View more

Writing this to see if anyone relates. Lately I’ve been pondering about what my future should hold and whether there is any point in working towards something. I’m extremely down-to-earth, as me being an atheist is evidence of. I believe that there is no purpose in life, and that we are simply just the interaction between molecules. In a large universe, we’re so small and insignificant that following a belief around an anthropocentric idea (religion) seems almost incomprehensible to me. I feel if not for the guilt of harming my parents and friends mentally, I would gladly take my life, as I find there’s no reason to bother living. Not like my life is under any extenuating circumstances (which probably sounds ridiculous as most cases of suicide are from those who suffer pain).There are various aspects of life that others seem to find enough to keep them in this life (excluding the natural fear of death as biological evolution has given us). Those could be normal desires in our society such as money, fame or love, or they could be motivated by altruism (not just by directly helping people but also by inventions or advancing science, etc). However, none of those feel like it’s worth living for. I couldn’t care less about society, and why should I care about getting anything from this life when in the end I’ll just die and disappear. Sometimes I daydream about if my parents died, then I would like to think that I would be free to kill myself (don’t take this as a sign that I would harm my parents in any way). I would imagine every little detail, such as what to write in my suicide note, how to guarantee death, etc.The only real motivator/desire I have is not to upset my parents, as they care for me very deeply (and clearly I still have some tinge of empathy as I worry about their agony as a result, even if I died, which sounds ridiculous). Thus I study, but recently it’s been harder to get myself to work. I’ve always done well academically, so the lingering thought always resurfaces, that I could probably get away with not applying myself and still end up with a good job and all. I rambled a little, and I have no intentions of killing myself just to set the record straight. Let me know if anyone relates to some of what I said.

trying_my_best Stressed about exams or waiting for results? You’re not alone — and it does get better 💙
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I haven’t posted like this in a LONG while but I wanted to pop in here share something a bit personal in case it helps any fellow students who’s in the thick of exam season or nervously waiting on results right now.I’m a university studen... View more

Hi everyone,I haven’t posted like this in a LONG while but I wanted to pop in here share something a bit personal in case it helps any fellow students who’s in the thick of exam season or nervously waiting on results right now.I’m a university student, and I’ve had a really rough run academically. I’ve failed two subjects — and one of them, I failed twice. Sitting with that kind of result is genuinely hard. There’s the shame, the “what does this mean for my future,” the replaying of everything you think you did wrong. For a while I really questioned whether I was cut out for uni at all.But I’m still here. Still studying. And slowly, I’ve learned some things about getting through these moments without letting them swallow me whole.What helped me (and might help you too): Remind yourself that your worth is not your GPA. 🫶I know that sounds like a poster on a school wall, but I mean it. A fail grade is information — it tells you something didn’t click, or the timing was wrong, or life got in the way. It is not a verdict on your intelligence or your future. I had to really sit with this before I believed it. Feel it, then don’t live there.When I got my fail results, I gave myself time to be upset — because honestly, that’s fair. But I tried not to spiral into weeks of “I’m a failure” self-talk. Feeling disappointed is healthy. Marinating in it indefinitely isn’t.Talk to someone at your university.Most universities have free and confidential support that not enough students use:∙ Student counselling — trained counsellors who understand academic stress and the unique pressures of uni life∙ Academic advisors — they can map out a path forward and often have more options than you’d expect (supplementary exams, withdrawals, special consideration, etc.)∙ Disability/accessibility services — if anxiety or mental health is impacting your studies, you may be eligible for adjustments like extra exam timeYou don’t have to be in crisis to reach out. Feeling overwhelmed is enough of a reason.During exam season:∙ Avoid all-nighters if you can — sleep does more for your memory than one extra hour of study∙ Eat something, even if you’re not hungry — takeout counts too sometimes∙ Move your body — even a short walk helps (I’ve found the gym a couple times a week really cathartic)∙ Limit “how do you think you went?” conversations after exams if they spiral you — protecting your headspace is valid while waiting for results. This is honestly the hardest part. The uncertainty is its own kind of stress. What helped me was redirecting energy into things I could control — a hobby, time with people I love, rest. The result will be what it is, and worrying doesn’t change it (even though it feels like it should).If you’re really struggling, please don’t sit alone with it. Beyond Blue is always here — 1300 22 4636, chat at beyondblue.org.au, or even just reading posts in this community. Lifeline (13 11 14) and your university’s counselling service are also great first contacts.Failing subjects was one of the harder things I’ve gone through. But it didn’t end my academic story — and whatever you’re going through right now, it doesn’t have to end yours either.Sending everyone in exam season a whole lot of solidarity Feel free to share what’s helped you get through exam stress or disappointing results — this thread is a safe space.

Patsy2010 Frustrated with Squalor
  • replies: 7

Hi Not sure if this is the correct place, but I am at my wits end living with someone who doesn't see the squalor as an issue. I have recently moved back in with the children's father after more than 20 years separation, as housemates. This came abou... View more

Hi Not sure if this is the correct place, but I am at my wits end living with someone who doesn't see the squalor as an issue. I have recently moved back in with the children's father after more than 20 years separation, as housemates. This came about after he offered me a room, and as i struggle with current rental prices, this works well for me. He doesn't charge me much for board. Before i moved back in, we had the discussion about the state of his house. Filthy is the only word i can use for it. I discussed several issues which he agreed on Fix the water. There was a burst pipe over 10 years ago, and rather than get it fixed, he just would turn the water off at the mains, then turn mains on to have a shower use toilet. It took 12 months for that to happen Fix the electricity. Something went wrong with the electricity several years ago, and has not been fixed. There is no electricity to half the house. Extension cords are run from the lounge to two of the bedrooms for electricity, and we use a torch to use the shower or toilet at night. 2 years in and this still has not been fixed. Cleanliness. I discussed that I could not live in the mess he lives in, and he agreed that I could clean the house and sort it out to however i wanted it There are many issues. Hoarding is one of them. Example. One room i cleaned out you could not open the door for all the stuff. An example is old sheets that are more than 30 years old, faded and dirty. but cant be thrown away in case they might get used. Boxes of stuff packed up in the hallway, mostly paperwork like old catalogues, newsletters etc. The food hoarding is an issue also. Hygiene issues Bathroom ceiling black with mould that try as i might i cannot manage to remove. The bathtub is stained brown with dirt that i cannot remove. The lounge suite is black with dirt and i refuse to sit on it. Carpets are filthy and smell. In fact the whole house smells. Moving on to the kitchen. Stovetop was so thick with grease it could not be used. Benchtops filled with dirty dishes, and covered in cat hair. Recycle rubbish just thrown on floor. Cupboard thick with dirt and mould. Floor filthy with years of built up grease and dirt Oh and i have to mention the holes in the walls where the burst water main has caused rot damage, or the rippling floorboards in my room from the same issue SO I cleaned the kitchen thoroughly, as well as the loungeroom. I truly though that he just needed a hand to get past being overwhelmed with the mess and a little direction to keep on track. I cleaned the pantry out of massive items that were out of date. Made some space and he has now filled it to brimming again. (we have 35 cans of soup in the pantry, for example) The dishes are never done unless i do them. Benches not wiped down of food, can be left like that for days Cats waterbowl is on food prep benches so cat fur always their. I am not allowed to move it Cat food is given to them on paper plates so a bowl does not have to be cleaned. Food is dumped on top of old food for days.. Recycling rubbish is literally just thrown on the floor. Ok. Breathe.... What my issues are He gets angry if I try to get rid of items that are no longer useful He does not clean after himself at all, and doesn’t care about the mess or smell Promises are made to fix things or help me fix it, and it doesn't get done. (money is not an issue btw) How this affects me I am now angry a lot. And resentful of him I feel that i should just move out, however there are financial constraints. and I enjoy being near my kids Im sort of stuck in a freeze mode about the solution, which if i am honest is to move out. I feel obligated to stay as he has been kind financially, not charging me much rent I feel he has not respect for me at all, and I have stupidly let myself believe that cohabitating could be different to when we were in a relationship, and now I'm trapped Honestly, I cannot see a solution here. Why cant he see that there is an issue with the cleanliness and health and safety of this house? How do you get someone to see that they are living in filth, when they don't believe they are? i guess would by my question I am trying to find gratitude, and ways that i can live here and not let it affect my mental health, but I am really struggling on not losing my Zen here Lets see if I am brave enough to hit the post button

Mark07a Paranoia and schizoaffective
  • replies: 15

Hi all I go through periods with my mental health, anxious, depressive, high (elevated) and then when everything becomes overwhelming i get paranoid and sometimes delusions. Im finding this paranoid period particuarly difficult. I think because im al... View more

Hi all I go through periods with my mental health, anxious, depressive, high (elevated) and then when everything becomes overwhelming i get paranoid and sometimes delusions. Im finding this paranoid period particuarly difficult. I think because im also anxious, depressed, isolated, very very unhappy in a job thats oppresive and unsupportive in many ways even though my boss knows my struggles she has been bullying me for a while. My parents are the closest people to me and they just totally disregard all my mental health struggles. They just act like i dont have anything wrong with me. And then they get angry and sometimes emotionally and verbally abusive. What i do to stay well. Exercise. Pray. Read religious text. Eat well. Minimise caffeine. Try and sleep well. Do you have any other tips? I think what makes things harder is i have no friends or social support and havent for years even though i really want to connect. I find it really difficult, tiring, draining to socialise most of the time. I have tried though, i volunteer reguarly, ive joined social groups, been to internet meetups, joined dating sites. Ive even been to some mental health support groups. Im just afraid things are going to get even harder. Thanks for reading.Thx beyond blue for being here.

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