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my son has committed armed robbery and awaiting trial - how do i help him and me cope

Guest_29236324
Community Member

my estranged son (early 20's) has been charged with armed robbery 

he will come to trial in 6-12 months 

how do i help both him get through this and also look after myself so i can be strong for him

he doesn't live at home but lives alone and i'm very worried about him

2 Replies 2

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear New Member!~

I'd like to give you a warm welcome here at the Forum. It is a particularly good place for you to come as you will find there are many mothers in similar situations, either waiting for court, or when there son is in jail.

 

First off the legal side - as armed robbery is a serious charge so a good lawyer and also trying to help him reach the stage of being genuinely sorry for what he did, not just to reduce a sentence, but realizing how his actions have affected the people he robbed, and also the people that love him.

 

On the personal side I guess you support him as best you can, discouraging associates that may lead him into trouble, ensuring he has enough money to get by if he has no job (without going overboard) and the hardest thing helping him not to despair, and that while he may face a tough time ahead it can be the start of a new beginning, wiser than before.

 

It wil not stop there with some support if he is incarcerated , hopefully more when he is released.

 

There is a very long thread by mothers in the same situation which gives you an idea of how common this is:

 

Sadness, grief and regret over sons incarceration

 

started by a member called July who often comes back, there are many other contributors. All find it very hard to know what to do. Tony White Knight gives some good advice there

 

May I ask if you have support in your life, mybe a family member or friend who you can  lean on? I did, an understanding partner. It helps if there is someone who cares -they just have to listen, not 'fix'

 

If you wish to keep on talking here you are very welcome, taking in the above thread is fine too.

 

Croix

Dear New Member~

A few days have past so I thought I'd pop in to see how you were going. It is a terrible time for you (and for your son) and I'm hoping you find a way of coping or at least support here

 

Croix