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BeyondBlue Tradies National Health Month
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond... View more

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond Blue is hosting a special free webinar for our tradie community on Tuesday 12 August at 4.30pm which you can register for here. We know that Tradies can face unique stressors, with a culture of toughness and difficult job demands that can impact personal time and self-care. It can also be tough for partners and family members who aren’t sure how to support someone in a trade who may be showing signs that their mental health isn’t at its best. If you’re unsure where to start your conversation this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Hope Assistance Local Tradies: Home This Is A Conversation Starter: TIACS - This is a Conversation Starter Mates in Construction: MATES - Industry Based Suicide Prevention - MATES Don’t forget - our counsellors are always here for you on 1300 22 46 36. We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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cvberwrld advice for a 19yr old
  • replies: 7

hellooooits my 19th birthday today, and i’m grateful to celebrate it but in the back of my mind i’m pretty embarrassed. i’ve never had a job before and it’s really been getting to me, to the point where im starting to equate my self worth to it. i’ve... View more

hellooooits my 19th birthday today, and i’m grateful to celebrate it but in the back of my mind i’m pretty embarrassed. i’ve never had a job before and it’s really been getting to me, to the point where im starting to equate my self worth to it. i’ve been trying endlessly to find a job since i was 15, i’ve had some interviews but i’ve mainly been ghosted after them. i’m not the best socially, i’ve been called timid and socially awkward so i just want some advice on how to overcome feeling like a failure, and how to persevere from here. thank youuuuu

Yellow-Thorn78 I don't know whether to get any sort of immediate or professional support.
  • replies: 2

Yesterday, a person who I trauma dumped on told me to seek out professional support. They recommended me direct websites to where I can talk about the issues I've had in high school; for the more erratic thoughts that I've taken on during the COVID l... View more

Yesterday, a person who I trauma dumped on told me to seek out professional support. They recommended me direct websites to where I can talk about the issues I've had in high school; for the more erratic thoughts that I've taken on during the COVID lockdowns with my grandpa passing away from heart issues, people speaking towards me in condescending or dismissive ways and a girl who pretended to make sexual advances over the phone despite me saying before then revealing that it was all a joke. The only issue I've had is that this has all happened to me four years ago. While I would like to talk about it directly, I don't yet possess adequate social skills, emotional intelligence nor life experience to talk about it in a way that can feel productive towards me. I did so once, but my parents didn't like how negative my mindset was from doing it. I've also been changing slowly; having wanted to take on jobs at home, work and university that to a great extent have supported me to have a greater emotional depth. I've returned to running/soccer, and I've slowly been embracing new activities like going to art galleries. The issues I need to work on that I came to in the end after I began to calm down after trauma dumping is that while I need to be more conscientious about how I say what's the problem, learn how to hear myself and others more, be honest and speak out the moment someone hurts; the greater feeling that keeps eating me inside is that I don't feel seen by others or I am not wanted by others unless it is beneficial for them. That even though people can and should high road me if I become too aggressive or toxic; it's the thought that no one wants to "call a spade a spade" and be more brutally honest towards themselves and the people around them that make them feel phony. It's sort of like Holden Caufield when he calls others "phonies"; though this time I've seen and heard more people directly lie and mistreat others. For me to believe that I can be healthier is to hold stop trying to be a good person and holding others to same idyllic version of themselves and instead find my center or middle ground, be more consistent and build myself up from. That happened less the last time I saw a professional.

Clara1 Bad Dreams
  • replies: 3

I am having bad dreams at least once a week. Last night I had a dream about snakes and crocodiles. When these dreams occur I usually wake up 1-2 hours earlier than on other days. I am not sure what has triggered these bad dreams. I have never had the... View more

I am having bad dreams at least once a week. Last night I had a dream about snakes and crocodiles. When these dreams occur I usually wake up 1-2 hours earlier than on other days. I am not sure what has triggered these bad dreams. I have never had these bad dreams as often in the past.

amd1953 Merry Christmas 2024
  • replies: 2

Hello Good People,Once again, I would like to wish everyone a very merry Christmas and the prospect of a very happy and peaceful new year in 2025.

Hello Good People,Once again, I would like to wish everyone a very merry Christmas and the prospect of a very happy and peaceful new year in 2025.

Peter56 Spending Christmas alone
  • replies: 12

I am 66, and my entire life has been a story of loneliness. I have never marries, have no children, partner of family. Since I recently was able to retire from work, to keep occupied, I decided to put something back into the community and have been d... View more

I am 66, and my entire life has been a story of loneliness. I have never marries, have no children, partner of family. Since I recently was able to retire from work, to keep occupied, I decided to put something back into the community and have been doing some volunteering 2 days a week that has given me a sense of belonging and feel it's given me a sense of belonging and a meaningful connection with other volunteers, staff and their members. Since my mother passed away in 2021, I have been spending Christmas day on my own at home, which I am OK with. However, since I’ve been volunteering, some of my colleagues will no doubt ask me how I will be spending Christmas? e (despite being popular) is alone this holiday.Sometimes I feel like fabricating some sort of story because I feel a bit embarrassed telling them I will be spending Christmas alone thinking that I’m a bit of a loner.My position reminds me of an episode in the TV series “Happy Days” where Richie found out Fonzie (despite being popular and saying he had plans) intends to spend Christmas day all alone. I was wondering if anyone has been in this situation how did they manage it when other people asked? e (despite being popular)

amd1953 Merry Christmas 2023
  • replies: 9

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my dear friends on Beyond Blue a very merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year in 2024. A heartfelt thankyou also to everyone who has taken an interest in what I have had to say throughout... View more

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my dear friends on Beyond Blue a very merry Christmas and a Happy and Peaceful New Year in 2024. A heartfelt thankyou also to everyone who has taken an interest in what I have had to say throughout 2023 and have been kind enough to reply. Some of what I have written maybe questionable but hopefully most of it was of some small help along the road to wherever we are all going. I would also like to wish all of those people who find themselves alone during this festive season, the sincere hope that their lives will improve beyond their greatest expectations and that they will find a way through life's little bumps in the road to enjoy this journey through time and space.amd1953

javalava13 Recurring, confusing thoughts following psych appts
  • replies: 1

Hi, I have had a pretty low year - I moved cities (in an attempt to experience change after a stagnant few years), had a period of suicidal ideation at the start of the year after a breakup (which I’m still working through over a year on - being my f... View more

Hi, I have had a pretty low year - I moved cities (in an attempt to experience change after a stagnant few years), had a period of suicidal ideation at the start of the year after a breakup (which I’m still working through over a year on - being my first relationship and quite complex), and ultimately have been struggling with pretty debilitating depression and social anxiety. I’m quite stubborn and have some really big trust issues, so I haven’t been very honest with many people about the ‘difficulties’ I’ve had. But I have been consistently seeing my psych of a few years regularly through the year. I have a frustrating relationship with/mindset around psych appointments. I've always struggled with trusting that my psych’s response to what I tell them is genuine and they're not secretly judging me. I also am incredibly hard on myself (I’ve been told, although I feel like everyone is) and just cannot silence or turn down the voice, no matter what I try, so I judge myself SO heavily about what I’ve said following appointments. I also have some abandonment issues so I think my psych (and everyone else) doesn’t want anything to do with me and wants to stop seeing me, but is too kind to confront me about that. This year, I can (now, finally) see that I’ve slipped into this norm of being very low, not making much of an effort to improve, using my mental health as an excuse, and am just a pretty lifeless person to be around. I’ve been having a lot of thoughts since my last psych appointment, where I raised that I had realised I have very poor emotional resilience. She didn’t disagree (I wouldn’t want her to lie to try to protect me, but I guess I was almost hoping she’d say something in my defence), so that has cemented it in my head and made me go back through so many conversations and feel so guilty and ashamed of how weak I’ve been, and am. I am having all these urges to run away from everyone, to email my psych and apologise for everything, and cancel my next appt and never see her again because that is what I think she wants. This is recurring, unable to shake the belief of everyone wanting me to leave them and disappear. I don’t really know what I’m posting for, but I guess I'd just love some advice re how to deal with these feelings from this appointment. I've raised these thoughts with my psych when they’ve come up in the past, but again, I can’t trust that whatever she says in response is genuine and truthful, not something she is saying just to protect me.

Guest_09656659 I feel lonley
  • replies: 1

hey i feel like shit i feel lonley as hell what are somethings i can do?

hey i feel like shit i feel lonley as hell what are somethings i can do?

ABC01 Self talk question?
  • replies: 8

Hello All, In my self talk I use the words Yourself and You. Should I actually be using the words Myself and Me?Is it because I had to raise myself and self soothe myself.Do you think it is healthy to use those words or is there a dissociation if I u... View more

Hello All, In my self talk I use the words Yourself and You. Should I actually be using the words Myself and Me?Is it because I had to raise myself and self soothe myself.Do you think it is healthy to use those words or is there a dissociation if I use them? Like it is more a parent to a child, rather then my actual mind to myself? example: Show yourself how wonderful you are vs Show myself how wonderful I am.You are alright (When I am having an anxious moment) vs I am alright. I also use my name. Like, “You are alright,——-.” (——— is my name). Should I be addressing myself by my name? What are your thoughts,Thankful for any answers.ABC01

white knight Mental capacities and perspectives
  • replies: 0

One of the greatest challenges we face as mental health sufferers is the expectations of anyone around us and usually they do not possess professional qualifications. I'm all for professional advice, however, even professionals usually dont have the ... View more

One of the greatest challenges we face as mental health sufferers is the expectations of anyone around us and usually they do not possess professional qualifications. I'm all for professional advice, however, even professionals usually dont have the experience of having the illness they treat. They should be respected and advice followed but my point is that sometimes "extra" treatment can come in the form of self observations followed by life adjustments, in order to capitalise on your treatment program. Let me explain. In a primary school classroom there be 20 children. If all those children dreamt of becoming an astronaut its likely the odds are one child will succeed in 10,000 schools where all have that dream. So, as they grow through the years would it be realistic for every child to keep dreaming of being an astronaut? No, so all those kids with the same dream need to have a plan "B" and "C". Of those as well are the ones that havent got the academic capacity to achieve that dream. We cant possibly all be rocket scientists. So where ever those dreams originated from (the parent or child) the one thing they didnt judge was their capacity to achieve that career. We all are familiar with the parent that plans for their child to be the next gen farmer, doctor, retailer and those plans are set in stone without consideration their child hasnt got the same dream/capacity to become or a different dream eg builder. The parent that has those expectations creates enormous inner guilt in the child with one result if they dont follow- failure. Yet as a builder the child has succeeded with their own dream and actually that means success. What we can identify with is that you can be extremely positive and motivated but if you dont have the capacity to fulfill an unrealistic dream that doenst mean you're a failure- it means you have the wrong goal for you. Since time began we've been told what perspectives to have, that a builder is more important than a lumberjack yet the former cant exist without the latter... same with farmer more important than a spare parts sales yet the former couldnt use tractors without the latter and so on. We are all made up collectively to run a society and all as important as the next guy. So in our modern world we still have layers of what is deemed "successful". For those with mental illness that method of thinking is unhelpful, full of expectations we should not have to strive for. Stay well by having achievable goals- your goals. TonyWK