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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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cyber_katz I LOOOVVEEE MUSIC
  • replies: 2

Every single day all I can think about is music. I am obsessed with it because it just makes me feel so safe but recently I have been worrying because I feel like its turning into this strange addiction. I feel as though only only reason I listen to ... View more

Every single day all I can think about is music. I am obsessed with it because it just makes me feel so safe but recently I have been worrying because I feel like its turning into this strange addiction. I feel as though only only reason I listen to music is to block out the world that is crashing and burning in the background. Its not like I have anything else though. Every single day I can walk for hours just listening to my favourite. The problem comes in because whenever something happens, I go on a walk, listen to music and completely forget out the everything and I don't want to forget- I want to grow and heal. I feel as through I'm using it as a shield instead of a healthy gateway for me to have nice me time. All I think about its music - it completely chews on every single cell in my brain. I am trying to channel the love for music into a more healthier approach by learning about my favourite musicians and how music gets created but I don't have motivation. Lots of love.

quirkywords New year , new day , changing one thing
  • replies: 8

A new year , a new day is there one thing you want to change.I don’t do new year resolutions but I think about one small think I can do differently or change. There is no pressure. One thing I try to change is to accept a compliment ,instead of defle... View more

A new year , a new day is there one thing you want to change.I don’t do new year resolutions but I think about one small think I can do differently or change. There is no pressure. One thing I try to change is to accept a compliment ,instead of deflecting it. I thought it would nice for people to share something small they want to change. You can just do it each day. so what small thing do you want to change.?

ScooterCat Am I a bad person?
  • replies: 5

Earlier this year, I refused to eat my dad's stir-fry noodles because he made the same thing the night before. He got annoyed that I didn't want to eat his food and he started ignoring me and giving me the silent treatment. He eventually isolated him... View more

Earlier this year, I refused to eat my dad's stir-fry noodles because he made the same thing the night before. He got annoyed that I didn't want to eat his food and he started ignoring me and giving me the silent treatment. He eventually isolated himself from me and got my sisters to do the same. I know I should've voiced this out to my dad and told him that I didn't like how he made the same thing the night before. I shouldn't have just walked off and said nothing. Yet, it felt like I really was a bad person and my mistakes define who I am. It felt like I didn't deserve anything good in life and that I deserve to be punished for everything.

Guest001 Autonomic neuropathy
  • replies: 5

I have been told that I have autonomic neuropathy and that there is no cure. My gp has been great but at a loss of what to.i have searched for a specialist but sick of getting told we can help only to end up in the same spot but poorer.I don't think ... View more

I have been told that I have autonomic neuropathy and that there is no cure. My gp has been great but at a loss of what to.i have searched for a specialist but sick of getting told we can help only to end up in the same spot but poorer.I don't think that I can keep going with all the pain I'm in constantly. My partner is very supportive but she can't do anything to reduce pain I'm at a loss for where to turn or who to talk to that may be able to help

Pyrolee Rock bottom and feel worse
  • replies: 6

I've been through alot of hardship lately in my life, I've currently got a son and have another kid on the way. Works been extremely stressful and I'm finding everyday I'm just hating people more and more as I have to deal with them everyday. Lost em... View more

I've been through alot of hardship lately in my life, I've currently got a son and have another kid on the way. Works been extremely stressful and I'm finding everyday I'm just hating people more and more as I have to deal with them everyday. Lost empathy and sympathy for people as I find people are just all in it for themselves. Currently come down with covid and very sick, borrowed our sisters car and someone did a hit and run on it which now I have to find money to repair, wife accidentally drove our car into my mothers car so now have to deal with that, had our fridge broke and booked Westinghouse to repair as they said they have all parts and can fix, tech arrived and said can't, don't have parts, hence why I'm hating people, lies and deception, this is one example. I don't get any support from my wife, she's pushing me to buy a house which we can't financially and mentally, been living with my parents, wifes been giving all my hard earned money to her family in vietnam, I bring this up we get into heated arguments, I'm having thoughts on divorce but thinking about my kids, I feel the communication between my wife and myself isn't there anymore, don't know how long I can last, feel broken but can't feel emotions to smile or cry, I've tried counseling but it just reverts to them really not listening and prescribing medication, can't go down path of suicide as I know this will effect my kids but don't know what to do, feel really stuck, this isn't the first time in my life I've felt like this, problems always there no matter what, not sure what to do next

ARV 8 years on SSRI, symptoms 3 months after a 4 month tapering to cease meds
  • replies: 5

Hi, I'm new to this Forum and looking for suggestions. I'm sure there are others out there like me. I have been on a dose/day SSRI for approx. 8 years. This year I decided that the increasing brain fog and sleepiness was not a good indication of the ... View more

Hi, I'm new to this Forum and looking for suggestions. I'm sure there are others out there like me. I have been on a dose/day SSRI for approx. 8 years. This year I decided that the increasing brain fog and sleepiness was not a good indication of the health of my brain. So, I started tapering off very slowly until after 4 months I was not taking any. I've had symptoms like hot flushes, sweats & body tingling. These symptoms have largely gone now 3 months after my last dose. I feel fit & healthy, brain feels sharp and sleep is back to 'normal'. I'm exercising more, practicing mindfulness and generally in a good place. BUT, I'm finding myself increasing teary, find it difficult to shift these responses to personal interactions and life, as well as enjoying things less. Has anyone else come through this stage of withdrawal months down the track? Please share what helped? Thanks

white knight Apologies- when to give them
  • replies: 6

I've noticed with myself in the past and some members posts on this forum a tendency for us to apologise when commonly it is not given. Where is this link to mental health issues? While under stress some of us go into panic mode, we over worry about ... View more

I've noticed with myself in the past and some members posts on this forum a tendency for us to apologise when commonly it is not given. Where is this link to mental health issues? While under stress some of us go into panic mode, we over worry about the consequences of our reactions. We can also be over sensitive and we could be self aware of this or have been told. Subsequently we become more controversial, more often in conflict so effectively we can enter into conflict more often. Being vulnerable we want to patch up the damage done by any means and that can lead to apologies when not warranted. When we apologise we are endorsing the other persons stance so, if their views aren't actually correct or only partially correct by rubber stamping them fully we open ourselves to that view being the benchmark of that topic... forever. You'll be reminded - "but you said I was correct and you apologised". It is as difficult as unscrambling an egg. Being submissive isnt the way to go. So what is the better direction? Well, partial apology can save the situation. "I'll say sorry that I raised my voice and that was an overreaction, so let's start again and I'll try to talk at a normal volume". By apologising directly for what you are definitely guilty of, you deflate the adverse atmosphere of the debate, without actually saying sorry for any other part. This alone helps. In my thread below, I presented a technique a couple can adopt to defuse conflicts. Basically it involves the adoption of - giving a partner space, one of you offers to share a beverage and you chat or if not ready the other person should make the approach when ready. So in relation to apologising this can be slotted into the moment you both sit down and discuss things. A double level of resolve- time following the argument and an apology when you are both about to talk. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/relationship-strife-the-peace-pipe/td-p/315496/page/2 Finally, there is the flip side of apologies we should discuss, that being the person that rarely if ever offers one, which is their makeup. We cannot embed our own apologetic qualities into others as a standard others should possess. Therefore based on that we have to, unfortunately, accept the closest thing to it- signs of remorse can include positive vibes like "ok, I understand" or "we'll work towards that" anything that indicates moving on. It's their way of saying "lets bury this" at which point - you do. TonyWK

197543 Bipolar
  • replies: 1

I was diagnosed at 46 with bipolar after being taken to hospital with psychosis. Upon reflection of my undiagnosed tears the disorder has had a very negative effect on life. I've suffered multiple bouts of dellusions, hallucinations, psychotic rages ... View more

I was diagnosed at 46 with bipolar after being taken to hospital with psychosis. Upon reflection of my undiagnosed tears the disorder has had a very negative effect on life. I've suffered multiple bouts of dellusions, hallucinations, psychotic rages and psychosis. It's not that I didn't seek help, I did but was always diagnosed with anxiety.My bipolR is comorbid with ADHD where it seems I have the worst traits of ea h. I ca. Ot think of a time in my life where I was stable, not even on meds, everything is a fight of some kind. Throughout the years I have been totally self destructive and pushed my husband and I to financial ruin. I hate that in order to have a semi normal life I'm on pills whi h sometimes interfere with my life just as much. They seem to take some of my personality away and I'm e tremely tired, both nebtally and physically. I've found that talking about it with those that i dersta d bri g's me closer to understanding it myself especially linking it to past behaviour. I feel quite isolated with this, often having feelings of isolation. And lonliess. I don't think I need anything in particular, just to be able yo talk about it and learn to come to terms that it is life long and I will perhaps struggle on a daily basis. Thanks for allowing me to post.

Bags27 Friend's Trouble!
  • replies: 1

Hi.. I am really struggling. My husband and I are a part of a group of 11 people... most peoplr are nice but there are 3 people that make me very stressed and uncomfortable. They keep talking about having amazing jobs and how they own 2 properties in... View more

Hi.. I am really struggling. My husband and I are a part of a group of 11 people... most peoplr are nice but there are 3 people that make me very stressed and uncomfortable. They keep talking about having amazing jobs and how they own 2 properties in Sydney. They keep telling us to do the same things with out understanding our situation. I am struggling because on the one hand I am feeling guilty cause I said some things to them and now I feel like I am the bad person. There Is another couple interested group that is also often bullied by them but they don say anything to their face but have told me in confidence that they have felt hurt too. I am just feeling really sad and don't know what to do. Any advice is welcomed

Indy3 Creating a Safe Space in the Home Environment
  • replies: 1

Risk Containment/Stabilisation My dog and I live in a self-contained granny flat on my parents' property. I am currently unemployed (partly due to recent panic attacks) and do not have the financial means to seek other accommodation at this point in ... View more

Risk Containment/Stabilisation My dog and I live in a self-contained granny flat on my parents' property. I am currently unemployed (partly due to recent panic attacks) and do not have the financial means to seek other accommodation at this point in time. I would appreciate any tips on how to create a safe space for myself at home when my dad is a trigger for me and he works in his shed during the week, which is situated directly next to my flat. Some suggestions my psychologist provided:*lock my back door/place heavy object behind door (so I don't have to worry about dad 'popping in' unannounced) - I don't have a lock so suggestions how I can achieve this?*curtains on glass doors for privacy - suggestions how I can DIY this with velcro etc.?*staying at my in-laws a couple nights per week (to give me reprieve from heightened anxiety at home)*predictability in routine (e.g. scheduling times of day when mum comes into my flat)*alternative parking options (so I don't have to walk past dad to reach my car)*TV on/music for background noise (so I don't have to hear dad working outside my flat).*Lighting a candle Thank you