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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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SandraCh Something is missing
  • replies: 5

Despite having reach a point in life that many dream of ( no need to work for money, freedom to do whatever I choose ) Ive struggling to truly enjoy life and choose how to spend my days.I struggle to experience happiness and relax and embrace my new ... View more

Despite having reach a point in life that many dream of ( no need to work for money, freedom to do whatever I choose ) Ive struggling to truly enjoy life and choose how to spend my days.I struggle to experience happiness and relax and embrace my new reality. Im not sure if its some kind of depression or something else.Any insights on how to deal with this?

white knight When all is lost....what can you do? Be radical?
  • replies: 31

I look back on my disruptive life and wonder ow I survived. I joined the RAAF at 17 lasted till I was 20. By then I'd owned 20 cars on impulsive buying and the debts that went with them. Then a taxi driver, assembly line worker, cleaner, spare parts ... View more

I look back on my disruptive life and wonder ow I survived. I joined the RAAF at 17 lasted till I was 20. By then I'd owned 20 cars on impulsive buying and the debts that went with them. Then a taxi driver, assembly line worker, cleaner, spare parts sales, prison officer and by 30yo I'd had about 50 jobs and 15 professions. I had no idea I wasnt well. Bipolar type 2, dysthymia anxiety and depression and I'm near certain ADHD had a lot of presence as well. All of this came to a head in 1996 with a plan for suicide. But I survived it- I turned it around...how? A week later my wife and I separated. I fell into depression while living in a 3 metre caravan but survived....when I purchased a block of land and built my own house. And so the unsuspected routine kept going. Frankly I think two things saved me....a change of direction/interest and consideration for others in my life. So lets put suicide aside. You are depression or anxious, up and down mood or family and friends have abandoned you. Whatever your crisis you are in despair, at the end of your tether and you dont have an answer. Through default and luck I found the answers to my crisis each and every time it came about. What about you? What can YOU do to slip out of your situation and predicament? To do a u-turn with your life and save it.? Let's look at what is at your disposal. Environment- I knew a guy once, a railway worker that was heavily depressed. He lived alone. One day he didnt turn up for work. A fortnight later he rang me and told me he had taken a job as a jackaroo in Queensland. A year later he rang me to tell me how happy he was. Just one example. Friends and family- if they are causing you grief then take action. We are talking about your health here. In some cases - survival. Take time out or expel them from your life or somewhere in between. Work- chase another job. Social media- cut out the people you have never met. I'm saying whatever it takes to allow your mind to be cared for, to rid it of negative forces and situations. I'm not saying it's easy, it isnt. There is a lot of fear out there among people to be radical but I'm suggesting that when there is no other option, that all reasonable options have been exhausted....its time to rethink the basics of your life. The alternative isnt an option, when remaining in your current situation is not healthy. Perhaps others have more suggestions to avoid falling into the hollow well of hopelessness.

amd1953 Passing the baton
  • replies: 1

It is always nice to be valued and/or appreciated for who and what you are in this life. There is nothing more rewarding than to be supported and encouraged to do well in something that you are passionate about. From time to time, we need those littl... View more

It is always nice to be valued and/or appreciated for who and what you are in this life. There is nothing more rewarding than to be supported and encouraged to do well in something that you are passionate about. From time to time, we need those little morale boosters to maintain the momentum. I should say, some of us need that while others have their own natural inclination to usually if not always do well in whatever they do. These people are usually the leading lights in the arts and other human endeavours that require talent and skill to achieve the best performance possible. Classical actors, for example, have an aura about them that attracts people to them, and they are admired for being the best in their particular field. Shining lights that show the way for those following who might one day share the same accolades. We can't all be national treasures or experts at what we do or try to do but we do need the support from others who want to see us go as far as we can. Living a good life depends on how our parents and immediate families value us to pass on their wisdom so that we might become the best we can. Being a parent is one of the most demanding tasks, but it is also one of the most rewarding if your advice and support is heeded and then acted upon and one day you are able to witness the fruits of your labour when the life that you helped to create finds the success that you wish to them.

amd1953 Self Confidence is the Key
  • replies: 6

The benefit of hindsight is a wondrous thing. It allows you to evaluate your life based on the passage of time and the gaining of experience. I will most probably regret writing what I am about to but I'm going to do it anyway. I would guess that any... View more

The benefit of hindsight is a wondrous thing. It allows you to evaluate your life based on the passage of time and the gaining of experience. I will most probably regret writing what I am about to but I'm going to do it anyway. I would guess that anyone who is raised in a caring and loving family atmosphere might reap the benefits of developing a strong and confident personality. I was never lucky enough to be able to be in that position. My parents divorced when I was 10 years old and just when I needed a strong father figure in my life, there was no one there. My grandfather did the best he could, but he passed away in the mid-sixties so the void in my life was established. I was left to learn a lot on my own without the strong guidance of a male figure. I have always maintained that this is what has ruined me in terms of developing anything akin to self-confidence and self-worth. Yes, I did the best I could, but the path could have been more brightly lit. Everything I learned was achieved the hardest way possible. One might think that this would have had some positive influence, but it was quite the reverse. I always felt different from everyone else and not in a good way. If I thought that it was something that would vanish when I reached adulthood, I was in for a shock. As a matter of fact, it all got a lot worse. I was like a ship without a rudder. Being blown around by any wind that caught my sail. I'm not even sure that there is a right way or a wrong way of growing up, but it is something that took me a lot longer than perhaps most people. I have upset a lot of people along the way by not being or being less than what they wanted or expected from me. If you think that you are always going to be doing the wrong thing all the time, then you get used to being a loser. Well, it did for me. A lot of life's mysteries remained that way until I was middle-aged. However, I now find myself wishing that I had never experienced many of the things I was desperate to learn. When I was a child, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Well, I couldn't tell them that I never wanted to grow up. I was very happy just being a big kid. In the long run, that is what sank my boat and I acknowledge now that it was my own fault for lagging behind the herd. But what do you do when you don't want to be a herd member? You have to carry on regardless. You just have to do it.amd1953

Yellow-Thorn78 I feel powerless and I don't trust anything or anyone anymore
  • replies: 1

I'm not happy with how the world operates. I understand that given my current position as a supermarket worker who does nothing else but stay inside in his room doesn't make me the most reliable source but I'm here, nonetheless, scared. With that wor... View more

I'm not happy with how the world operates. I understand that given my current position as a supermarket worker who does nothing else but stay inside in his room doesn't make me the most reliable source but I'm here, nonetheless, scared. With that work, and the concurrent controversies this unnamed business faces, it made me think about some sort of bigger picture stuff that makes me feel unsettled. It came from a YouTube video I watched about how societies and effectively democracies form and work in this day and age. Given, it was within the context of a video game discussion about the destruction of mankind, but it commentates on the idea that open markets cannot solve all problems, particularly those associated with inequality, climate change and wellbeing. As these issues continue to rise, there should be a greater acknowledgement that open markets cannot be the sole fundamental system a democracy abides by to assess the progress and freedom of people. Yet, and this is what I'm uncomfortable with, it doesn't look like anything will change for the better in my lifetime or my children lifetime. I'm Australian and learning that certain major political groups no longer exist to engage in deeper discussion or may have never existed for that purpose but to simply put some money in their pockets and some mates seems terrifying. Some even enter without proper credentials, which scares me. It also undermines certain environmental activities like deforestation and gas plantations being open with barely any acknowledgement. The endangerment of koalas was only recently picked up by the news after 2-3 years of their classification being announced because another party was in power, and they wanted to make them look bad. Interntaional relations also worry me. Being pointed gun-ho towards another nation as if to declare war is terrifying. In returning to that video, it acknowledges that choices and actions should be made transparently with input from all people, rather than weakening it to representatives. I understand focusing and appreciating the "smaller things" is an important health strategy. However, work makes me feel miserable seeing the excess of packaged food that could be going elsewhere. Freedom, as free markets denote, does not feel as free anymore. They want me to exist in the past, present and future and all while little acknowledgement to wider world around me? I'm guessing I am responsible but things I'm better off knowing aren't making me happier.

MissRen Feeling 'too far gone'.
  • replies: 2

How do you deal with feeling like you are 'too far gone'? I have become very overweight over the past 12 months, and do not look like my 'usual' self at all. Not only do I look heavier, but I look unhealthily bloated and 'puffy'. Sometimes it feels e... View more

How do you deal with feeling like you are 'too far gone'? I have become very overweight over the past 12 months, and do not look like my 'usual' self at all. Not only do I look heavier, but I look unhealthily bloated and 'puffy'. Sometimes it feels easier to except my current state and give into the relief from food, than to get back on track. I feel like any 'physical' progress will take months. I also feel unconfident leaving the house.

Guest_1055 Vent and then let it go...
  • replies: 868

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from wit... View more

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from within me. So thought this thread could be for those sort of things. No one replys to you with words or anything. It's a place to let it all go. Just dump whatever it is you want to say and leave it here. So yeah no replys please.

amd1953 Tell It the Way It Is
  • replies: 1

If you don't like someone, you have two choices. First, you can choose to cut them out of your life completely, never have anything to do with them as long you both live. Ignore them in silence. The second method is much more malicious because you se... View more

If you don't like someone, you have two choices. First, you can choose to cut them out of your life completely, never have anything to do with them as long you both live. Ignore them in silence. The second method is much more malicious because you set out to brand them and perhaps even ostracize them from a community or neighbourhood. Let's use a hypothetical and say that you might be the sort of person who loves nothing better than to dig up dirt on people and then spread that newfound knowledge as gossip. There might be something about this person that you don't like so you think everyone should know what you know. You like to share so you tell someone else, and it mushrooms from there. The rumours might be true and then again, they might be pure fiction. How is anyone to know? How will this person be judged? Does it really matter? Well, yes, of course it matters. But there is not much you can do to stop human gossip. It is, unfortunately, a fact of life. No matter how good you believe yourself to be, there is always the possibility that someone, somewhere will choose to bring you down to their level of existence. They are told or they discover some tasty little snippet of information, and they will use it to poison minds against you. Perhaps these people hate themselves, perhaps they have nothing better to do than work behind the scenes and gain a bit of satisfaction from what they are doing. Who knows? Perhaps one day they will realise what they are doing. One final thought. I have never heard anyone prefix a slander by telling us how imperfect and vulnerable they are. I will never hear anyone say, "Look, so-and-so has done this but hey, I'm not perfect myself." It is all done to promote themselves and their hidden life agenda. As several people have said already; it is a control and power trip that fuels their spite and hate.Regardsamd1953

Bonnie B Feeling a bit like a fraud!
  • replies: 1

I have recently had some minor-ish emergency surgery that has resulted in me having a wound that is taking its time to heal. Now, I wasn't bitten by a shark, or had burns to 90% of my body or had to have surgery to remove a cancerous lesion. It reall... View more

I have recently had some minor-ish emergency surgery that has resulted in me having a wound that is taking its time to heal. Now, I wasn't bitten by a shark, or had burns to 90% of my body or had to have surgery to remove a cancerous lesion. It really was minor in the big scheme of things but the wound is stopping me from going to the gym weekly and stopping me doing my regular aqua aerobics class, it has to be packed and dressed every two days by the community nurse. And I need to make sure that it stays dry and clean at all times. Today I was in tears after I had the dressing done again because its been so slow to heal. It's really starting to get me down, but, as I said, it really isn't a biggie, so why do I feel so miserable? I've been giving this some thought...... While I had to have some previous surgery after I had my first child (38 years ago), I'm now nearly 65 years old and this is the first time that I've really felt that my body has let me down. And I know that my age is against me when it comes to wound healing, but as I am a fairly healthy person (no diabetes, heart disease etc) I really wasn't expecting that I'd still have the wound nearly one month after the surgery (it's healing but very slowly). So, I'm venting here, because I feel a bit like a fraud when I admit to feeling down in the dumps, over something, that is relatively minor. There are heaps of people going through a whole lot worse that me, who really do have the right to feel down about their circumstances. Thanks for reading my post!

amd1953 A Lifetime of Bullying
  • replies: 11

This is something that I have lived with since my early teens. It is something that happened to me so long ago that you might think that it has faded from memory. The fact is, that what happened then, some fifty to sixty years ago, is still as fresh ... View more

This is something that I have lived with since my early teens. It is something that happened to me so long ago that you might think that it has faded from memory. The fact is, that what happened then, some fifty to sixty years ago, is still as fresh in my mind today as it was then. As much as I have tried to push it away from me, it seems to hang over me like a noxious cloud. I remember everything. I have forgotten nothing. I know their names and I see their faces. I feel the physical blows raining down on me and I hear the abuse that went with it. To them, I was some wild animal captured in a cage for their amusement. Poked and prodded, punched and spat on. I've had it all done to me. Punched in the stomach and punched in the face for no reason at all other than to give them all a sense of power and control. Yes, it did happen a long time ago and yes, in a strange way, I have forgiven them. What choice do I have? There is one thing though that I wish I could do and that is know what sort of men are they today. Do they have families and would they accept the same kind of public punishment to their children? If they have any kind of humanity in themselves, I think I can guess most of the answers. There is an innate cruel streak that runs through us like a dormant cancer. For those who can control their anger and their prejudices, the problem is held in check. One only has to consider the domestic violence statistics to know what men are like. They are even worse when they are younger. But it is all swept under the carpet and nothing is ever done to address it. God help us all, I say.