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Need career/life advice and someone to talk to

Community Member


I am a mom of an amazing 16 months old have an amazing husband who works full time and i am currently working 4 days a week with amazing boss and workmates. I wanted to do so many things, study, change career, upskills get a better job with good pay, care for my baby more, do my hobby, i love making earrings, doing my nails and gardening. I have pets cat, dog and now a fish. All i wanted to say is can someone help me point to one direction! For the past couple of months my thoughts is everywhere and I've been doing everything and still not getting anywhere. I don't know who to talk to or where to go. I'm definitely sure i need help!


1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome


So lets go back in society 50 years ago. Although things have changed lets look at the typical lifestyle then compared to now for clarity reasons.


Man and woman meet, marry have child. Mother remains home as the homemaker. Father works. This all starts early twenties. Now that isnt an accepted assumption now but it is how it was.


Fast track till today. Teenagers like to adopt the overseas travel rage. That means in many cases no savings when they turn 30yo. And rightly so that females like to add a career to their lives but is it all manageable? With the economics now buying your own home isnt feasible for most so the rental market is the only way to live. 


So, if I can draw a parallel, it's that your list of wants is too long. A catch 22- work needed for income but time off desired for all those things you want to do.


Which ever way you look at your situation, being a parent of a young child will dominate your hourly routine. Mums in the distant past knew this and their whole day revolved around that child/children and in their early 20's they had the energy to have and look after several children all produced in a short timeframe. So, their tasks were cooking, cleaning and parenting. No hobbies, sports, career.


I'm certainly not endorsing the past lifestyle, we've moved along from that to give females equality but there is a now 2 income families that cant buy a house so some areas haven't advanced and it is quite unfair on your age group.


My only suggestion is to accept as best you can the commitment needed long term as parents and balance that lifestyle best you can but drop off some activities to make coping easier.  In the medium term perhaps a family activity like caravanning can bring happy times to  all your family with children until they become adults. Then that is the time generally, that you can sit back and do the things you've always dreamed of doing... but parenting upsets all those activities you wanted to do. 


PS joining up with other mums to compare how their lives are planned might be another idea. Contact your local council.