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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Chelseedy Beyond my stress limit
  • replies: 1

I am beyond stressed and struggling to stay afloat with my simple everyday tasks. I have a good life, good work, beautiful 2 year old daughter and wonderful husband yet I cannot get on top of my life and I’m finding it really difficult. I work full t... View more

I am beyond stressed and struggling to stay afloat with my simple everyday tasks. I have a good life, good work, beautiful 2 year old daughter and wonderful husband yet I cannot get on top of my life and I’m finding it really difficult. I work full time, my husband studies and works and we are building a house that is pulling money out of us left, right and centre through no fault of our own. Everything we do seems to go wrong for us lately. I know it’s out of our control but I’m feeling overwhelmed with the amount of stress that keeps getting thrown our way and don’t feel like we can cope with much more. We are in limbo, can’t move forward, can’t go backwards. How do you cope with everything getting thrown at you all at once? We are financially stressed, mentally stressed, physically stressed (loss of sleep) and are expected to get it together all while it’s falling apart. Any words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Irrepressible Staying Well when Housebound
  • replies: 5

I'm looking for tips from others on how to get exercise (to improve mental health) when mobility is an issue and how to stay positive when facing a set-back... I have an autoimmune-related spinal cord injury that has mostly affected my legs - they're... View more

I'm looking for tips from others on how to get exercise (to improve mental health) when mobility is an issue and how to stay positive when facing a set-back... I have an autoimmune-related spinal cord injury that has mostly affected my legs - they're unsteady but also really heavy and hard to lift. I was diagnosed late last year and was hopeful for a 4-6 month recovery (based on medical advice). It's now been ten months, with a lot of positive progress despite frequent set-backs. My most recent set-back has affected my chest (restricting breathing), legs and arms. I'm gradually improving again and on a really good day I can walk about the length of half a block using a cane. Most days getting around inside my house including up and down the stairs, sitting at my desk to work and doing some housework is enough. My legs are not strong enough to drive at the moment and I live in a remote town with no public transport, so I plan medical and physio appointments and grocery shopping for when my spouse can take me after work. I miss being able to go out alone and on my own terms - to nip to the shops or have coffee with a friend. I'm lucky in many ways: my spouse and tween children are very supportive, I have a couple of friends that visit for an hour most Fridays, I love my job and my employer has allowed me to work from home (a sanity saver). I still feel lonely, very tired and then both ungrateful and selfish for feeling lonely. I feel frustrated I can't do things for myself and lazy/slack/guilty when I have to ask for help. I don't cope well with doing nothing and don't want to sit still and let life to pass me by, so I tend to overdo things and push myself, then end up exhausted and in pain. Generally I'm a positive person and pretty darned resilient. I've faced hard times before but this has been the toughest yet. I know things are going to get better - it's just taking a longer than planned. I also know that other people have it much tougher and still stay strong and positive. Does anyone have any strategies they use to keep moving without overdoing it? Or tips on how to stay positive while being restricted with mobility? Or for staying hopeful when facing another set-back? Thanks in advance

string_cheese Control issues
  • replies: 4

Hi BB forum readers, I am wondering if anyone has the same issue/similar issues as me. I have been told I could have OCPD in the past and am definitely happy to acknowledge that I struggle with chronic anxiety, EDs, and a perfectionistic personality.... View more

Hi BB forum readers, I am wondering if anyone has the same issue/similar issues as me. I have been told I could have OCPD in the past and am definitely happy to acknowledge that I struggle with chronic anxiety, EDs, and a perfectionistic personality. Throughout the last 18 months of recovery I have had a lot of therapy and made some changes in my life and perspective. Along the way though, I realised that I do not really get feelings of joy or happiness unless I am in control. Very, very rarely do I enjoy being in the back seat of life, just letting things happen to me and accepting what comes my way. It is so frustrating, because while I have been getting better and better at letting go of control, I wonder if it will always be like this. I don't want to feel perpetually unsatisfied

blondguy A Quick Self Confidence/Esteem Check
  • replies: 73

Hi Everyone and especially new posters or anyone reading the Beyond Blue Forums too! This may seem unimportant to many but there is a reason for this thread. I have had depression and anxiety for many years and I found this self esteem/confidence che... View more

Hi Everyone and especially new posters or anyone reading the Beyond Blue Forums too! This may seem unimportant to many but there is a reason for this thread. I have had depression and anxiety for many years and I found this self esteem/confidence check invaluable when I was researching why I was so nervous and panicky....before I was diagnosed and during... How do you respond to a compliment? If someone says well done! or good on you! Or compliments you for qualities you have....Do You... Pass the compliment off and say....oh no...'I'm not really that good.. etc etc' Ignore the compliment and struggle for words... Reflect the compliment away and 'handball' a compliment back... Or say 'thankyou' A few years ago I had a really hard time with dealing with compliments. This thread is not a 'test' in anyway....It is just a 'self check' that may help some people find a little peace and self awareness where low self confidence/esteem/worth is an issue The answer is number 4....What number would you have chosen? Your true/heartfelt thoughts on this would be a great help on how you respond to a compliment Thankyou for taking the time to read my post Kind Thoughts Paul

Ggrand Let’s talk..Weight Loss, Healthy Diets, exercise and healthy lifestyle….
  • replies: 9

Hello Everyone… Like many other community members, I am overweight…I need to loose weight for my health and me… Now, how do we do that, when age is a bit of a barrier along with medication and no motivation to exercise…. I thought I would use this th... View more

Hello Everyone… Like many other community members, I am overweight…I need to loose weight for my health and me… Now, how do we do that, when age is a bit of a barrier along with medication and no motivation to exercise…. I thought I would use this thread so we can offer encouragement, support, recipes, motivation and congratulations to those who need/want to loose weight… Also, if you feel to, you can also have a bit of a rant…..but no downing yourselves at all…because, no matter how much we weigh…or what our body type is…..we are all beautiful people… First thing I need to do is to limit my sugar from 4 teaspoons to maybe down to 3 in my cup of tea….for a month or so, then reduce it down to 2…. Are you on a weight loss journey, need encouragement or want to give encouragement to other members…do you have suggestions for healthy recipes……or gentle ways to exercise….then please jump into this thread and let’s do this together…. Kind thoughts everyone with a welcoming hug….Grandy…

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

Elephant86 The blue heart of the ocean
  • replies: 1

The heart is powerful it is way we show love and compassion to those in our community who are struggling. There are many things we can learn from living our life giving to others and taking care of others. The story of compassion I would like to tell... View more

The heart is powerful it is way we show love and compassion to those in our community who are struggling. There are many things we can learn from living our life giving to others and taking care of others. The story of compassion I would like to tell you some stories of compassion. I beleive the earthgoes around through the power of giving to others and helping not just the king but also helping the poor. We must not look at everyone you meet with anger and hatred you must look at everyone with love and a giving spirit. I grew up in a home of teachers and we would always have people and family over to our house and there was never a time my mum turned anyone away there was always food on the table for everyone and we where happy and content. My parents worked hard but they always had love for everyone they came into contact with. A great example was one year at christmas we had a wonderful christmas and we cooked for 40 people that is how compassionate my parents are. The second time I saw compassion was when I volenteered in a soup kitchen and I made coffee and tea and meals for the community at the local church. I beleive in the power of compassion and looking after those less fortunate . If you say to some one how was your day can I support you. We are so lucky to live in Australia there are so many in the world that don't have what we have. You must always be gratful for what you have. There are those in this world who don't have hot food or shelter. You must realise how blessed you truly are. When you realise that compassion and giving to others is the way you want to live your life will be more profound and richer in more ways then one.All you need to do is find out in your community need help and do it. It could be as simple as cooking for people or if your a good builder making furniture and donating it.You need to find out what am I skilled at what can I do to help other people. This is the true measure and power of the heart

TunnelVision Struggling with motivation for weight loss & healthy living/general,self care
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I haven't posted here in a while as things have, overall, been going pretty well for me. I found myself a good GP, I switched jobs and now have a job I love, working with as great bunch of people, I have been taking medication for my anxiety ... View more

Hi all, I haven't posted here in a while as things have, overall, been going pretty well for me. I found myself a good GP, I switched jobs and now have a job I love, working with as great bunch of people, I have been taking medication for my anxiety which has really helped, and after procrastinating for years I finally got started in a uni course a few months ago which I have loved and done pretty well in my first subject. After the lockdowns I had put on a bunch of weight and started on a bit a fitness kick in late 2021 and shifted some weight which worked for a while, but nothing seems to stick. I can't seem to stick to a healthy eating regime, and in the past few months have really struggled with any kind of motivation or desire to properly take care of myself. While there is good stuff going on in my life, there have been a lot of stressors too. Some financial stuff as a single parent, just basic keeping up with managing my life is often a struggle for me. My kids are older and my teenager (16) has been in counselling for anxiety and depression for a couple of years now. Earlier this year my eldest (23) got a diagnosis of ADHD. This was an A-ha moment so we then pursued an assessment for the 16-year-old, and now they also have an ADHD diagnosis and (most likely) an ASD diagnosis. Of course this has triggered a huge guilt trip in my own brain because as their mum I haven't picked up on this earlier and they could have had better support at school. However at the same time, after having done a lot of reading to try and support my kids I am thinking maybe there is ADHD at play for me too, because it chimes with a lot of what has been my life experience. So all of that has been a lot, and has contributed to my health spiral. Earlier this year I ended up in hospital and having an operation due to my unhealthy life choices. That should have been the wake up call to make me change, but it only lasted about 6 weeks before I went back to my old ways. I've tried the CSIRO diet, tracking calories in apps, joined Les Mills, meal delivery services, bought an exercise bike, bought roller skates, tried atomic and tiny habit changes and nothing is sticking. I'm kind of at my wit's end with myself and don't know what else to do. I know this seems like the most first world problem ever, but the fact is my life is at stake. If I keep going this way I am going to have a heart attack or something. This morning I stepped on the scale and I am almost back at my post-lockdown weight which has made me realise I need help, so I'm reaching out here in the hope that someone can relate and maybe some offer advice or share what has worked for them. I'm sorry for such a long and rambling post.

quirkywords Does any feel invisible in social settings and with family.
  • replies: 5

Hello everyone.Sometimes feel unnoticed and ignored so that I feel invisible. Some people are interested in themselves so they chat about themselves and don’t seem to here my questions. When you feel that people don’t listen, don’t see you, don’t und... View more

Hello everyone.Sometimes feel unnoticed and ignored so that I feel invisible. Some people are interested in themselves so they chat about themselves and don’t seem to here my questions. When you feel that people don’t listen, don’t see you, don’t understand you, reject you as a person, it is hard not to feel invisible.How do others cope when they feel ignored.Any ideas and comments are welcome.?

Eagle Ray Managing boundaries with people - how do you do it?
  • replies: 2

One of the most anxiety-producing things for me is managing boundaries with people who push my boundaries and I often haven’t known how to handle this. Much of this links with not being taught healthy boundaries as a child. My mother taught me to tak... View more

One of the most anxiety-producing things for me is managing boundaries with people who push my boundaries and I often haven’t known how to handle this. Much of this links with not being taught healthy boundaries as a child. My mother taught me to take care of her but not really myself. So I grew up thinking it is my job to look after other people. Also, complex trauma issues often led me to appease others as a form of self-protection, thinking that if I help and support others they will be less likely to hurt me. Even now in my late 40s I still struggle to deal with boundaries with certain people. With some friends it is fine. These are friends who are quiet and gentle like me. We never impose on each other and there is a healthy absence of co-dependency. I’m finally learning to recognise the people who are likely to push my boundaries in ways that can be stressful. Sometimes these are needy people who are trying to find ways to get me to take care of them. Other times they are people with dominant personalities who want someone else to have control and influence over. I’m recognising these situations more quickly before they develop. But I still struggle at times managing these people. Both my strength and weakness is that I can see the other person’s vulnerability and I’m caring towards them, but that often leads to them forming an intense attachment to me that then becomes stressful. I find the person can then become quite resentful if you then try to put some distance with them. I’m dealing with someone now who is a bit challenging in this way. So I’m wondering, how do others handle people who put expectations on them to meet their needs? Have you found ways to politely but assertively and skilfully handle such people? My sense is a lot of it is energetic. For example, I think certain people sense that I’m kind and gentle and quickly latch on before I know it. I still want to be kind and gentle, but in a way that protects me and my interests as well. I think how I come across energetically can potentially make a difference. Not sure if that all makes sense? But just curious about other’s means of keeping a healthy boundary.