Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Just_Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 703

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

Kazzl Helpful books and resources
  • replies: 103

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, sp... View more

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, specialist websites or blogs, podcasts, vodcasts or print or online journals or magazines. Please note BB has a list of websites and resources under Get Help, so maybe check there first for online resources. (Also note that we cannot include live links to online resources.) To make things easy to find, please put the category of the content first in bold, then the title of the book and then, if you want, a brief comment. Please note that anything listed here reflects the member's views only. Publications and other resources are not necessarily endorsed by beyondblue. Happy reading!

Chris_B Worried about other users - how are we all doing?
  • replies: 43

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences... View more

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences of others can be validating, because we feel 'we've been there', but sometimes it can also be a trigger for bringing up unpleasant feelings. I've started this thread so we can have a constructive discussion about helping others and helping ourselves - how do you cope when you read about others in distress? Do you have a self-care plan in place, and if so, what is it? Really looking forward to hearing from you all.

All discussions

The_Bro PRAISE OR CRITICISM - WHICH WORKS FOR YOU?
  • replies: 6

Hi Everybody I made a mistake for an organisation I volunteer for recently, only a small one with very minor consequences, but was 'bawled out' in no uncertain terms in front of others, by the person I report to. I tactfully reminded him I am an unpa... View more

Hi Everybody I made a mistake for an organisation I volunteer for recently, only a small one with very minor consequences, but was 'bawled out' in no uncertain terms in front of others, by the person I report to. I tactfully reminded him I am an unpaid volunteer and was told that was irrelevant. Naturally I didn't have the best of days after that. It reminded me of a great boss I once had who used to begin a reprimand by saying in private 'I have spotted an opportunity for you to improve'. Compare the two above approaches, no prizes for guessing which worked best for me! This has led me to write a post about what works best - criticism or praise? Can our children today handle criticism when at school it seems all they receive is praise, even for not very good effort or work? Are employers these days very skilled at how to motivate, correct behaviours and give positive criticism? It seems to me that 'Thanks' is indeed the most neglected form of compensation! My Grand Daughter asked me last week what I thought of the story she had written. I made it clear that I was very happy to do so, but was she happy for me to say the good things as well as things that I thought she could improve on? Having her agree to that led to a pretty successful 'review' of her story and she happily agreed she had learnt from my gently constructive criticisms. My neighbour teaches at a primary school and agrees that kids being unable to handle criticism is a pretty big problem. If they are not open to feedback, how will they progress and improve? Apparently they are saying that they cannot handle criticism so please don't give it to me! Wow so how are those children expected to cope when entering the workplace later in life with all the pressures, ups and downs, disgruntled bosses and criticism they might well encounter? My belief is that everyone will learn better from not only praise, but also their mistakes, as long as they are recognised and discussed positively with an outcome in mind. To give feedback that is only positive all the time, regardless of the quality of the work, is a misguided effort to improve self esteem. It certainly is a skill to give constructive criticism, as it is also a skill to welcome criticism, embrace it, be thankful for it and act on it. Someone once said to me when reviewing work - 'Give three positive strokes before a negative one'. Thoughts on that? Anyway, of course I am very happy to receive any feedback on this thread! Bye for now, The Bro

Here2Talk Accountability partner
  • replies: 10

Hi all, From searching google I saw a post about this topic on the BB forums from five years ago. What was recommended was a couple of paid things (e.g., personal trainer). There are communities on sites like Facebook and reddit, but these seem to be... View more

Hi all, From searching google I saw a post about this topic on the BB forums from five years ago. What was recommended was a couple of paid things (e.g., personal trainer). There are communities on sites like Facebook and reddit, but these seem to be more geared around either lets have a big group and all motivate each other, or one on one and let’s drive each other in an entrepreneurial style.... I was more thinking of something non-paid, more altruistic where two people who want to improve their life and their habits mutually help each other. Like a one on one life coach sort of gentle caring motivator listening person - like myself .... those are hard to come by I guess, and they don’t tend to be public self promoting types.

car10001 borders re opening
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone Guess you’s heard of the borders re opening, just wondering what’s chance of the coronavirus coming to south australia and the chance of restrictions or lockdowns. Wondering because am at a life point of needing and wanting own self conta... View more

Hi everyone Guess you’s heard of the borders re opening, just wondering what’s chance of the coronavirus coming to south australia and the chance of restrictions or lockdowns. Wondering because am at a life point of needing and wanting own self contained space and either wanting to be able to quarantine seperate so you don’t possibly have to extend quarantine or not be affected because of a member and the place am living at is not big enough for that to happen. Also am at a point of wanting and needing own self contained space and not wanting to be affected because of a household member and every time there’s lockdowns or certain restrictions the only thing you to get it at moment can do usually closes and you never know if or when it’s going to happen. Am hoping to build something or renovate something cheap in next 5-10 years but needing something that’s not going to cost much to get through until then. What could you do until it happens even if part time to start off with and in event that accomodation places close is there a way that you can register a part time place to go to like you can with a single person if you are single and live alone and not leave unless travelling between that and primary residence or essentials in lockdown or if restrictions close that can you register a part time accommodation place What else could you do until you can buy as am waiting until am able to buy and feel there’s some hope it’s however going to take a long time and just trying to make do until then. Am mostly happy living at current place at moment Thanks

romantic_thi3f What are you most looking forward to when restrictions ease?
  • replies: 12

Hi everyone, COVID-19 is having a really awful impact on everyone and I thought this might be a more positive post - thinking about some of the things we are looking forward to doing and some of the things that we miss. Feel free to share if you like... View more

Hi everyone, COVID-19 is having a really awful impact on everyone and I thought this might be a more positive post - thinking about some of the things we are looking forward to doing and some of the things that we miss. Feel free to share if you like, nothing is too big or too small. I'll start: - Going to see some family. My grandparents live interstate and because they're old it's going to take a long long time to be able to do this, but I'm really looking forward to their hugs. - Having lunch out in a cafe or restaurant and not thinking about if we are allowed to enter, if there's too many people there, if I'm standing in the right spot or if we are distanced enough from each other. If you are struggling, here's an extra resource to look at https://coronavirus.beyondblue.org.au rt

white knight Long term prospects with mental illness
  • replies: 0

Many of you if not all worry about your future. Understandably so as the journey from realising you have one to diagnosis, meds, therapy, recovery and the ups and downs that takes decades of personal endurance all take their toll. You know what I'm t... View more

Many of you if not all worry about your future. Understandably so as the journey from realising you have one to diagnosis, meds, therapy, recovery and the ups and downs that takes decades of personal endurance all take their toll. You know what I'm talking about. But it doesnt have to be all bad news, depending on many factors of course. So not I'm 65yo and I was a late starter in terms of realising I had some mental illness issues, 2003 and 47yo when my then partner read a book called "ADHD in ADULTS" and said- thats what you have. Well 6 years of taking medication for ADHD was a drama as it turned out I never had it in the first place- second diagnosis was bipolar2, depression and dysthymia. I'd also had anxiety since 1987 but I licked that as described in other threads. So 2009 onwards I began proper partial recovery with the right meds, therapy for a couple of years and from then on self learning/research etc. So what is life like now? In a few words- "As good as I could every expect it to be and fairly happy". We often talk about "acceptance" of our mental illness as being a milestone of sorts, it is and once accepted in your mind, it becomes not such a big deal. You accept that many people are very naïve with the topic, you accept you have your good days and bad, you accept some discrimination in society and so on. You get to a point when you are comfortable about it. Any issues with other people is their problem. I study humans a lot. You watch chain smokers puff away as they tell you that your medications aren't good for you (quasi psychiatrists), or the comments on social media of one person disagreeing on a common topic and saying "you must have mental issues to support that Government", you support your partner in every way and ensure you give them enough love and support when you are capable with the mutual understanding that it cant be the same on your bad days. All of these conditions of flexibilities become, eventually, a comfort zone. It wasnt always like that of course. It has taken hard work but my message is that it is worth it. The move from the city to a country town, ridding my life of toxic people (even including my destructive mother sadly), now retired but when working I strived to get my dream job that had no shift work and I worked alone, financial independence and a pet, our dear mini foxy along with hobbies. There is good prospects long term for us all is we make the commitment and changes needed for best results. TonyWK

quirkywords Words: Friends or Foe? How can writing help you.
  • replies: 171

People can be afraid of words as they have no confidence in what they write. Maybe at school teachers have said negative things about their writing or their parents have said they don't write well. Some people are anxious to write their first post as... View more

People can be afraid of words as they have no confidence in what they write. Maybe at school teachers have said negative things about their writing or their parents have said they don't write well. Some people are anxious to write their first post as they wonder if they will make sense to others. I believe words are your friends and everyone who can read this can write in meaningful way. I want to look at how writing can help you 1) by helping you to explain and express your feelings to others 2) allowing you to connect to others through your words 3) by keeping a journal or starting a thread here and learn from your own writing and read others. 4) by helping you work out how to change certain behaviours and many more we can share with each other. To start at the beginning : Are words your friend or foe? When you see a blank page or screen are you filled with fear or are you excited at the challenge. Does writing words down help you more or in a different way to speaking them? Everyone is welcome to contribute, first time posters , regulars, people who don't like writing , people who find they go the character limit for the post every time. Write on Quirky PS writing in this context is same as typing , or using voice to text. I want to look at how words can help you express your thoughts and emotions?

Banksy92 I named the thoughts in my head Barbara - it helped.
  • replies: 10

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I was ever given on my mental health journey was this: You are not your thoughts, you are the observer of your thoughts. It really helped me to realise I can detach myself from the stories that pop into my he... View more

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I was ever given on my mental health journey was this: You are not your thoughts, you are the observer of your thoughts. It really helped me to realise I can detach myself from the stories that pop into my head and keep me down when I don't feel my best. In fact, they aren't really even me. To help myself 'observe' my thoughts rather than go along with them, I named the voice Barbara. She's toxic, she's insecure, she's mean and she wants to drag you down the moment you're feeling weak. So now whenever I catch myself caught up in anxious, unhealthy thoughts and worries I tell Barbara to go away. Out loud if I need to. I stop her in her tracks and tell her to shut up. This might seem really trivial or silly to some, but it's a really helpful tactic for me to cope with my crippling anxiety. Has anyone else tried something like this before? What are your tactics to quiet down the voice in your head? Let's share

Clues_Of_Blue Managing money to make life easier
  • replies: 95

One of the big things that causes stress and sure kicks you about when you already have mental illness to play with is money. Whether you're in debt, just scraping by, or feel like you're working to much to maintain a lifestyle. Here is a place to ta... View more

One of the big things that causes stress and sure kicks you about when you already have mental illness to play with is money. Whether you're in debt, just scraping by, or feel like you're working to much to maintain a lifestyle. Here is a place to talk about how to make your dollars go a bit further and take off some financial pressure. I'll start with some basic pointers: - Plan a little with food. Make work lunches, decide on meals for the week and stick to your shopping list. If you shop a bit later you're also likely to get a lot of fresh produce at a discount. - Check regularly (every six months or so) on your utilities. Often there is a better plan out there to switch to. As customers, loyalty to a company usually just gets us a quietly growing bill instead of discounts or rewards. Vote with your feet. - Same with your home loan, you can refinance to one with a better interest rate, just watch out for exit fees (and LMI if you still owe more than 80% of the house value) If you have any tips or questions, feel free to share or ask.

BB563780 Words of hope
  • replies: 2

Good evening all! I am Brandon. Many people are unfortunately losing hope in the state of the world. Specifically, I wanted to share my insight on 'the world has gone crazy'. Hearing it can cause people to feel afraid, as though the world has never e... View more

Good evening all! I am Brandon. Many people are unfortunately losing hope in the state of the world. Specifically, I wanted to share my insight on 'the world has gone crazy'. Hearing it can cause people to feel afraid, as though the world has never experienced such a state like it. Throughout history, society has held the view that 'the world has gone crazy'. The most notable examples of world events that come to mind that caused people to feel that 'the world has gone crazy' were the Bubonic plague and Spanish flu outbreak, World War I and II, the social activism of the 60s' and 9/11. The expression 'the world has gone crazy' is subjective and based on fear rather than an objective statement. The beauty of history is that we have been taught the skills to rectify catastrophe. Most of all, I wanted to leave you all who are possibly feeling hopeless and afraid regarding the state of the world with a message of hope from one lesson that history has taught us: humanity has continued to demonstrate resilience and prosper despite countless hardships along the centuries. It is through hardship that we have gained the knowledge and experience to prolong our humanity's survival. For example, Buddha gained his wealth of wisdom by leaving his father's lavish castle when he was 16 years old to experience the hardship of the citizens himself. Why is it that if the world truly had 'gone crazy' that the wind blows, the sun rises and sets, the birds tweet and the flowers and trees grow? I am not sure. I feel that society often gains a false sense of doom from the impacts created by negative media, hearing others' pessimistic views and the false perception of the 'good old days' that tends to be generated by nostalgia. What are your thoughts?

Guest9337 Three things I let go of today...
  • replies: 6

G'day Everyone. I think we are all onto a winning formulae with the "3 things __" type threads, they have high utility imho. love dng, thus... I let go of irritation about Vinnie snoring loudly. I let go of discomfort by changing my seating position.... View more

G'day Everyone. I think we are all onto a winning formulae with the "3 things __" type threads, they have high utility imho. love dng, thus... I let go of irritation about Vinnie snoring loudly. I let go of discomfort by changing my seating position. I let go of the restriction about three things to let go of. I let go of holding onto everything tightly. I am content in letting go of anything. I let go of this breath. I let go of wanting to breath - yet I still breath. I am grateful for unconscious breathing.