Immediate support
Immediate support

Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Start a discussion

white knight Apologies- when to give them
  • replies: 6

I've noticed with myself in the past and some members posts on this forum a tendency for us to apologise when commonly it is not given. Where is this link to mental health issues? While under stress some of us go into panic mode, we over worry about ... View more

I've noticed with myself in the past and some members posts on this forum a tendency for us to apologise when commonly it is not given. Where is this link to mental health issues? While under stress some of us go into panic mode, we over worry about the consequences of our reactions. We can also be over sensitive and we could be self aware of this or have been told. Subsequently we become more controversial, more often in conflict so effectively we can enter into conflict more often. Being vulnerable we want to patch up the damage done by any means and that can lead to apologies when not warranted. When we apologise we are endorsing the other persons stance so, if their views aren't actually correct or only partially correct by rubber stamping them fully we open ourselves to that view being the benchmark of that topic... forever. You'll be reminded - "but you said I was correct and you apologised". It is as difficult as unscrambling an egg. Being submissive isnt the way to go. So what is the better direction? Well, partial apology can save the situation. "I'll say sorry that I raised my voice and that was an overreaction, so let's start again and I'll try to talk at a normal volume". By apologising directly for what you are definitely guilty of, you deflate the adverse atmosphere of the debate, without actually saying sorry for any other part. This alone helps. In my thread below, I presented a technique a couple can adopt to defuse conflicts. Basically it involves the adoption of - giving a partner space, one of you offers to share a beverage and you chat or if not ready the other person should make the approach when ready. So in relation to apologising this can be slotted into the moment you both sit down and discuss things. A double level of resolve- time following the argument and an apology when you are both about to talk. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/relationship-strife-the-peace-pipe/td-p/315496/page/2 Finally, there is the flip side of apologies we should discuss, that being the person that rarely if ever offers one, which is their makeup. We cannot embed our own apologetic qualities into others as a standard others should possess. Therefore based on that we have to, unfortunately, accept the closest thing to it- signs of remorse can include positive vibes like "ok, I understand" or "we'll work towards that" anything that indicates moving on. It's their way of saying "lets bury this" at which point - you do. TonyWK

197543 Bipolar
  • replies: 1

I was diagnosed at 46 with bipolar after being taken to hospital with psychosis. Upon reflection of my undiagnosed tears the disorder has had a very negative effect on life. I've suffered multiple bouts of dellusions, hallucinations, psychotic rages ... View more

I was diagnosed at 46 with bipolar after being taken to hospital with psychosis. Upon reflection of my undiagnosed tears the disorder has had a very negative effect on life. I've suffered multiple bouts of dellusions, hallucinations, psychotic rages and psychosis. It's not that I didn't seek help, I did but was always diagnosed with anxiety.My bipolR is comorbid with ADHD where it seems I have the worst traits of ea h. I ca. Ot think of a time in my life where I was stable, not even on meds, everything is a fight of some kind. Throughout the years I have been totally self destructive and pushed my husband and I to financial ruin. I hate that in order to have a semi normal life I'm on pills whi h sometimes interfere with my life just as much. They seem to take some of my personality away and I'm e tremely tired, both nebtally and physically. I've found that talking about it with those that i dersta d bri g's me closer to understanding it myself especially linking it to past behaviour. I feel quite isolated with this, often having feelings of isolation. And lonliess. I don't think I need anything in particular, just to be able yo talk about it and learn to come to terms that it is life long and I will perhaps struggle on a daily basis. Thanks for allowing me to post.

Bags27 Friend's Trouble!
  • replies: 1

Hi.. I am really struggling. My husband and I are a part of a group of 11 people... most peoplr are nice but there are 3 people that make me very stressed and uncomfortable. They keep talking about having amazing jobs and how they own 2 properties in... View more

Hi.. I am really struggling. My husband and I are a part of a group of 11 people... most peoplr are nice but there are 3 people that make me very stressed and uncomfortable. They keep talking about having amazing jobs and how they own 2 properties in Sydney. They keep telling us to do the same things with out understanding our situation. I am struggling because on the one hand I am feeling guilty cause I said some things to them and now I feel like I am the bad person. There Is another couple interested group that is also often bullied by them but they don say anything to their face but have told me in confidence that they have felt hurt too. I am just feeling really sad and don't know what to do. Any advice is welcomed

Indy3 Creating a Safe Space in the Home Environment
  • replies: 1

Risk Containment/Stabilisation My dog and I live in a self-contained granny flat on my parents' property. I am currently unemployed (partly due to recent panic attacks) and do not have the financial means to seek other accommodation at this point in ... View more

Risk Containment/Stabilisation My dog and I live in a self-contained granny flat on my parents' property. I am currently unemployed (partly due to recent panic attacks) and do not have the financial means to seek other accommodation at this point in time. I would appreciate any tips on how to create a safe space for myself at home when my dad is a trigger for me and he works in his shed during the week, which is situated directly next to my flat. Some suggestions my psychologist provided:*lock my back door/place heavy object behind door (so I don't have to worry about dad 'popping in' unannounced) - I don't have a lock so suggestions how I can achieve this?*curtains on glass doors for privacy - suggestions how I can DIY this with velcro etc.?*staying at my in-laws a couple nights per week (to give me reprieve from heightened anxiety at home)*predictability in routine (e.g. scheduling times of day when mum comes into my flat)*alternative parking options (so I don't have to walk past dad to reach my car)*TV on/music for background noise (so I don't have to hear dad working outside my flat).*Lighting a candle Thank you

Fly-Away-Blue-Bird Depression and Christianity
  • replies: 46

Hi all I am new here and it has taken me a while to stop and admit that I have depression. It has taken a while because depression comes in many forms and I would go undetected most of the time because I appear happy on the outside but my mind plague... View more

Hi all I am new here and it has taken me a while to stop and admit that I have depression. It has taken a while because depression comes in many forms and I would go undetected most of the time because I appear happy on the outside but my mind plagues me each day. It scares me to talk about this because it means that the abuse of the past still has a hold on me and that just makes me mad! Now I am going to share with you about my religion but I don't want this thread to be about tearing it apart, because that would make me even more depressed!! I am a Christian and I have been for 13 years now. I have been healed from many things of my past but other things remain. I think being a Christian has made it harder for me to admit and to talk to others about my depression because the stereotype I get is that Christians should be happy.. I know that when I go to church everyone is smiling and it is difficult to imagine that anyone but me could feel so sad, so lonely and so different from anyone else. I don't even share on Facebook what I am going through because when I see another friends write something about depression all I see is the typical Christian answers of "Go to God, you can overcome this through him, You will be alright keep smiling, what have you got to be depressed for Christ took it for you, etc etc." Those answers come from people who just don't understand! So here I am, opening up to strangers.. Please be kind

mimikkyu anxiety
  • replies: 2

recently ive been feeling really down. its been going on for months now, and ive experienced increasing anxiety as the days go on. its interfering with my life, and making it difficult for me to cope. i try and distract myself, and hope that it will ... View more

recently ive been feeling really down. its been going on for months now, and ive experienced increasing anxiety as the days go on. its interfering with my life, and making it difficult for me to cope. i try and distract myself, and hope that it will be over one day, but right now i feel as if there will be no end. my anxiety constantly makes me feel hopeless, making me short of breath and sometimes cause panic attacks. because of this, it makes me feel as if im going to die, which only makes it worse because i dont want to die. i dont want to keep experiencing this, but its so hard for me to ignore it and breathe. its horrible. how can i deal with this? my therapist has suggested sessions once a week, but until then does anyone have any suggestions? this is my first time experiencing any sort of severe anxiety.

Andrew-1972 Poem - 'Ode to persistence.'
  • replies: 3

G'Day all, First time Post here. I have always been passionate about Mens’ Health and just recently wrote a poem about Persistence. I thought I would send it to ‘Beyond Blue', an organisation that always leads by example, ‘talk’s the talk and walk’s ... View more

G'Day all, First time Post here. I have always been passionate about Mens’ Health and just recently wrote a poem about Persistence. I thought I would send it to ‘Beyond Blue', an organisation that always leads by example, ‘talk’s the talk and walk’s the walk’. Hopefully, this humble Ode might resonate with one person who might be doing it tough right now and thinks there is no end in sight. ODE TO PERSISTENCECan you hear it in the distance?Past the willows and the treesThrough the rain and misty valleysOn the tide of aqua seas?Like a camel in the desert,You go searching for a drink,But that shimmer’s just a glimmer...Into dust, your hopes do sink.Still, you climb that lofty mountain,Up amongst the rocky cropsYour legs are tired and weary,And the struggle never stops.Then you float along the oceanLife-raft bursting at the seams.But the drifting lasts forever,And it never meets your dreams. How much longer can you take it?Will you ever find the key?Your internal voice reminds you,There’s a place you need to be.You try and make your own luck,As the time keeps ticking by,Because you know your dream is worthySo, you give it one more try!With a soul in search of wisdomYou’re committed to the truth,And soon you start to realise...That all you need is proof!Like a dancer chasing answers –waltzing proudly down the roadThen you ask yourself the question -What's the moral of this ode?And a light comes shining brightlyAs it’s whispered in your ear -Keep on pushing forward friend...Success is very near.

Beaser Letting People Down Or Feeling That Way.
  • replies: 37

Hi and best wishes to everyone. I was wondering do people have feelings of letting people down when they dont feel up to social events. I am lucky to have some great friends and for example i have just been asked to go away for a few days but its jus... View more

Hi and best wishes to everyone. I was wondering do people have feelings of letting people down when they dont feel up to social events. I am lucky to have some great friends and for example i have just been asked to go away for a few days but its just easier to say no . I know that i have to push myself but i have been battling a bit of late and i feel tired and mentally drained. I dont want to lose friends because of not doing things . Im really battling with this problem.

Guest_6011 Re- clouded, unclear mind
  • replies: 1

Hey guys this could go in anxiety or staying well to be honest. But given been able to relatively handle this stuff, just usually recently. The clouded mind, unclear judgement sort of thing means that yeah can/have been able to just get on with life.... View more

Hey guys this could go in anxiety or staying well to be honest. But given been able to relatively handle this stuff, just usually recently. The clouded mind, unclear judgement sort of thing means that yeah can/have been able to just get on with life. Somewhat but yeah still gets at me, just stays tricky to work through and deal with. Cos sometimes saying the wrong thing happens and just feel weird and look often feel bad for it. Even shame/guilt so yeah is tough, anyway yeah just thought would put this out there. Good day for anyone that sees this yeah

white knight Community projects- obligations and measured effort
  • replies: 5

From when we were toddlers we had obligations. Then they escalated into school routines and chores. As we grew we realised how many tasks we carry out each day from bins out to be emptied to cutting toes nails to house cleaning and work. Dozens and d... View more

From when we were toddlers we had obligations. Then they escalated into school routines and chores. As we grew we realised how many tasks we carry out each day from bins out to be emptied to cutting toes nails to house cleaning and work. Dozens and dozens of tasks each day. But when our mind breaks down we cannot seem to carry out the most basic of tasks like rising out of bed and getting a meal. Furthermore those friends that dont understand will without realising, place pressure upon you with options you have no chance of accomplishing. "Just come out with us one night, we'll have a ball". I've always had a side to me that included some sort of community inclusion like maybe a local councillor or mens shed co-ordinator or similar. But I saw my restrictions and opted to do a few projects that didnt include so much communication with people. I lived in a very small town and there was no shelter. I approached the local council with my plan to build a rotunda near a river for visitors, (I had built 3 previously) To complete the task I had to work with some local committees and thats where the trouble began. Primarily those members too offence that 1/ they hadnt thought of the idea first 2/ that the rotunda would take away funds for other projects they had planned previously 3/ They resented the fact I had only been in the town 5 years whereas they all grew up there. Yet again I had to learn a lesson. Seems life as a sensitive bipolar/depressant cant get the obligation levels accurate, and my efforts are always full on, hence from the mania. So the obvious occurred, complete breakdown of emotions half way through the project. So I resigned from it. There is now a shelter with bbq in that park next to the river, no pretty rotunda but a shelter none the less. Community projects for many of us should be measured and without obligation. No obligation means an open membership, attend if you feel good, leave when you are not feeling good. Simple. Try to accept that we are not suitable for some positions in society. This forum however allows me an open obligation- I can close my computer anytime and open it anytime. Plus the satisfaction of helping people nationwide. A big difference to joining a dozen people on a project giving out sausage sizzles at a hardware store where you feel you are letting others down if you need to return home because a guy snapped at you because his onions were raw. Charity begins at homeTonyWK