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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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RustyRoo Confused about wife’s herpes
  • replies: 3

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. Recently she announced she had been diagnosed with genital HSV1 and was having what seemed to be a severe outbreak. She then accused me of giving it to her and of having an affair which I never have. So I... View more

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. Recently she announced she had been diagnosed with genital HSV1 and was having what seemed to be a severe outbreak. She then accused me of giving it to her and of having an affair which I never have. So I got tested and was neg HSV1 & 2. I then reminded the events of ten years ago when she also accused me of giving her an STD. Further testing was required to identify what type but that I needed to be tested for everything. And she accused me of having an affair. Which I hadn’t. I was tested for everything and was neg. When I enquired about her further tests she said it turned out not to be an StD- just a false alarm. back to present day. I asked to see her medical records from 10 years. Initially the Dr had lost them. Finally they showed up and to my surprise ten years ago was not a false alarm nor a mystery std. in fact a blood test had found her to be HSV2 positive and guess what HSV1 negative. So ten years ago she lied about HSV 2 and now she can contracted HSV1 genitally. Is there anyway this could have happened without her having cheated? What should I do?

Pumpkinella Spirituality - how being in touch with spirituality creates healing
  • replies: 36

Fellow peers, After a brief conversation with a peer on the forums I was inspired to start a thread on spirituality. For some, spirituality is a very important aspect of the human being and can be a source of great healing, comfort and peace. I am in... View more

Fellow peers, After a brief conversation with a peer on the forums I was inspired to start a thread on spirituality. For some, spirituality is a very important aspect of the human being and can be a source of great healing, comfort and peace. I am interested to hear about peoples spiritual experiences and to share with each other on how spirituality has helped us grow and learn more about ourselves. For example you can discuss spiritual leaders that have helped you, quotes, experiences, philosophies etc. I want to also welcome any form of spirituality and belief that has generated a sense of space and peace. Don't be shy! I will start with a quote by Alan Watts (Buddhist/zen philosopher). This helped me challenge my beliefs on being not good enough, not better enough, not as I should be: "What I am really saying is that you don't need to do anything, because if you see yourself in the correct way, you are all as much extraordinary phenomenon of nature as trees, clouds, the patterns in running water, the flickering of fire, the arrangement of the stars, and the form of the galaxy. You are all just like that, and there is nothing wrong with you at all." Looking forward to hearing from you.

Guest_41780797 Struggling with Homelessness, Financial Hardship & Domestic Violence
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I never thought I’d be in this position, but life has taken some tough turns, and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m currently experiencing homelessness, financial struggles, and the impacts of domestic violence. I’ve been trying to hold every... View more

Hi everyone, I never thought I’d be in this position, but life has taken some tough turns, and I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m currently experiencing homelessness, financial struggles, and the impacts of domestic violence. I’ve been trying to hold everything together, but it’s getting harder by the day. Financially, things have been difficult for a while. I’ve been working, but between unexpected expenses, debts, and trying to keep up with life, I feel like I’m always behind. I’ve been dealing with a company that has been unfairly charging me after a contract ended, and I’ve had to escalate the issue legally. On top of that, I’m facing ongoing issues with my car, making it harder to get around for work and daily needs. The situation at home has also become unbearable. I’ve had to distance myself from certain family members due to ongoing disrespect, emotional and verbal abuse, and constant boundary violations. I’ve tried to set clear limits, but they keep being ignored, making it impossible to feel safe or at peace. I’ve reached a point where I cannot keep putting myself in toxic situations, but walking away feels like losing everything I’ve known. Through all of this, I’ve been trying to stay strong. But I’m stuck, unsure of what will happen next. The uncertainty is exhausting, and some days I feel like I’m running out of options. I know I’m not the only one struggling, and that’s why I’m posting here. I’m hoping to connect with others who understand what it’s like to feel stuck between survival and trying to build a better future. If anyone has advice, resources, or just words of support, really appreciate it. Thanks for reading.

Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

mxqo dealing with loneliness
  • replies: 1

hey everyonei just wanted to get some advice on how to deal with having like…no friends at all, if you’ve got any great tips on making new friends that would also be helpful. i lost basically all my friendships over the years, either from just natura... View more

hey everyonei just wanted to get some advice on how to deal with having like…no friends at all, if you’ve got any great tips on making new friends that would also be helpful. i lost basically all my friendships over the years, either from just naturally growing apart, or straight up being ditched, i’ve spent quite a while being upset about having no friends, it makes me feel like i’m alienated at times too. it’s my last year being a teenager and i feel like i just haven’t experienced the things i’d like to due to being lonely. i’m fine with being my own company but it gets so isolating, i sometimes see a group of friends while out and just wish i was friends with them too. if you got any advice lmk :))

white knight Fast tracking problems - anti dwelling- identifying the moment
  • replies: 91

I have, through natural processes, chased methods of how I can more quickly overcome roadblocks in my life. This is fundamentally due to having had a stressed life eg long relationships failing and the grief processes along with them. Over time I've ... View more

I have, through natural processes, chased methods of how I can more quickly overcome roadblocks in my life. This is fundamentally due to having had a stressed life eg long relationships failing and the grief processes along with them. Over time I've grown less tolerant of that grief and become more desperate to leap frog them onto happier times. This is why I'm sharing this with you as it has saved me from much hurt. The scenario- A long term relationship begins to fail. You've tried counselling and changes, nothing works. Your partner says they no longer are in love with you. Your natural strategy is save the relationship but you've already tried doing that with counselling... what extra counselling will you both need that would reverse this falling out of love development? Sometimes a partner will hold on forever waiting until all their issues vanish, they rarely ever do. When is the time to be realistic? Well that is subjective but as a rule of thumb there are signs that pop up regularly that tell you it can be saved or cant be saved. Eg both declaring love for each other and acknowledging outside stresses are to blame is a "can be saved" moment. A "I'm not in love with you now" is a "cant be saved" moment. Those phrases may be comments that are regretful and expressing that could go from cant be saved to reconsidering if it can be saved, but this isnt common. I had a "cant be saved" moment in a past relationship. My partner over many years had manipulated our finances to become the number one controller of our money. I was on an allowance. By this time I wasnt happy about it and felt my easy going demeanour resulted in being taken advantage of. I was earning 3 times her salary but always treat us to equal. Then a lifelong passion arrived- to purchase a special vehicle. That car would be owned by our company so it was a tax incentive... or we pay extra tax, so it was also clever to buy. She was not a car person so rejected the idea. At one point in our discussions she made a statement- "you can have the car but you have to save for it out of your allowance". I worked it out to take 42 years. That night we talked and that moment it "cant be saved" came "well start saving". I've discussed "passions" in other threads but a passion is a burning desire and those without a passion dont have that feeling and cant relate. It was over. So, making quick decisions saves us from more hurt and dragging out issues- nip it in the bud!. Your thoughts? TonyWK

Yearnineteen Cant make friends
  • replies: 1

Hey, i really struggle to make good friends. I feel like i have heaps of distant friends who ive met through work and school, but none that i would hang out with deliberately. I had a work party tonight and made small talk with everyone but im no one... View more

Hey, i really struggle to make good friends. I feel like i have heaps of distant friends who ive met through work and school, but none that i would hang out with deliberately. I had a work party tonight and made small talk with everyone but im no ones best friend. The girls tonight were so bubbly and having fun meanwhile i get left behind and talked over. No matter what community i go too i just cant fit in and i dont know whats wrong with me. The places i work, go to school, go to uni, even my family i just dont fit in anywhere and am just like a background character. Its so awful i always feel like i need to move away as if the other community will me different but it never is. Its just me and im boring.

cvberwrld advice for a 19yr old
  • replies: 7

hellooooits my 19th birthday today, and i’m grateful to celebrate it but in the back of my mind i’m pretty embarrassed. i’ve never had a job before and it’s really been getting to me, to the point where im starting to equate my self worth to it. i’ve... View more

hellooooits my 19th birthday today, and i’m grateful to celebrate it but in the back of my mind i’m pretty embarrassed. i’ve never had a job before and it’s really been getting to me, to the point where im starting to equate my self worth to it. i’ve been trying endlessly to find a job since i was 15, i’ve had some interviews but i’ve mainly been ghosted after them. i’m not the best socially, i’ve been called timid and socially awkward so i just want some advice on how to overcome feeling like a failure, and how to persevere from here. thank youuuuu

Yellow-Thorn78 I don't know whether to get any sort of immediate or professional support.
  • replies: 2

Yesterday, a person who I trauma dumped on told me to seek out professional support. They recommended me direct websites to where I can talk about the issues I've had in high school; for the more erratic thoughts that I've taken on during the COVID l... View more

Yesterday, a person who I trauma dumped on told me to seek out professional support. They recommended me direct websites to where I can talk about the issues I've had in high school; for the more erratic thoughts that I've taken on during the COVID lockdowns with my grandpa passing away from heart issues, people speaking towards me in condescending or dismissive ways and a girl who pretended to make sexual advances over the phone despite me saying before then revealing that it was all a joke. The only issue I've had is that this has all happened to me four years ago. While I would like to talk about it directly, I don't yet possess adequate social skills, emotional intelligence nor life experience to talk about it in a way that can feel productive towards me. I did so once, but my parents didn't like how negative my mindset was from doing it. I've also been changing slowly; having wanted to take on jobs at home, work and university that to a great extent have supported me to have a greater emotional depth. I've returned to running/soccer, and I've slowly been embracing new activities like going to art galleries. The issues I need to work on that I came to in the end after I began to calm down after trauma dumping is that while I need to be more conscientious about how I say what's the problem, learn how to hear myself and others more, be honest and speak out the moment someone hurts; the greater feeling that keeps eating me inside is that I don't feel seen by others or I am not wanted by others unless it is beneficial for them. That even though people can and should high road me if I become too aggressive or toxic; it's the thought that no one wants to "call a spade a spade" and be more brutally honest towards themselves and the people around them that make them feel phony. It's sort of like Holden Caufield when he calls others "phonies"; though this time I've seen and heard more people directly lie and mistreat others. For me to believe that I can be healthier is to hold stop trying to be a good person and holding others to same idyllic version of themselves and instead find my center or middle ground, be more consistent and build myself up from. That happened less the last time I saw a professional.

Clara1 Bad Dreams
  • replies: 3

I am having bad dreams at least once a week. Last night I had a dream about snakes and crocodiles. When these dreams occur I usually wake up 1-2 hours earlier than on other days. I am not sure what has triggered these bad dreams. I have never had the... View more

I am having bad dreams at least once a week. Last night I had a dream about snakes and crocodiles. When these dreams occur I usually wake up 1-2 hours earlier than on other days. I am not sure what has triggered these bad dreams. I have never had these bad dreams as often in the past.

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