Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Pinned discussions

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Whimbo Work Stress
  • replies: 2

Hello Forum, I (M, 25) work in a call center and I usually enjoy it. However the last few weeks have been particularly bad and I feel like I really need help. The issue is when clients call up and shout at me for things that I have no control over. T... View more

Hello Forum, I (M, 25) work in a call center and I usually enjoy it. However the last few weeks have been particularly bad and I feel like I really need help. The issue is when clients call up and shout at me for things that I have no control over. To make things harder, my partner, who is one of my sources of stability, is currently interstate visiting family. I'm feeling quite isolated. I understand the concept of displacement. They are stressed in the moment and they don't have the skillset to manage that stress without lashing out. However, intellectualizing this verbal harassment doesn't stop my heart from palpitating and my hands from shaking when I'm in the moment. Then I just ruminate about it for hours. And this rumination is effecting my sleep (it is currently midnight and I have work tomorrow). To cope with it I have found myself drinking more than I normally do. I am fully aware of the danger of it, but sometimes I have around ten standard drinks a night to numb my anger and anxiousness. Since my partner is gone I am using it to fill the void, plus with them around I drink much, much less so they won't worry about me (my dad was an alcoholic and I inherited his addictive personality). During my spare time at home I am still mentally at work so I'm not really getting adequate rest (and not getting paid overtime). I'm getting burnt out. I don't know what I'm looking for with this post, it would be great to have some guidance, but maybe just posting this will help me get something out of my system.

oliver_gutz wanting to find friends
  • replies: 3

hey so i recently got diagnosed with level two autism and i was wondering if anyone knew any groups or services where i can make friends with autism as well preferably online if not i hope everyone who sees this has a great day night or afternoon

hey so i recently got diagnosed with level two autism and i was wondering if anyone knew any groups or services where i can make friends with autism as well preferably online if not i hope everyone who sees this has a great day night or afternoon

meercat Does "life Begin at 60"
  • replies: 115

As the saying goes "life begins at 60" Since turning 64 recently iv been wondering.. am i different since i hit 60... Has your life changed since then? Someone said the other day.."try to get to know yourself.. find out what you want to get out of li... View more

As the saying goes "life begins at 60" Since turning 64 recently iv been wondering.. am i different since i hit 60... Has your life changed since then? Someone said the other day.."try to get to know yourself.. find out what you want to get out of life?" Statistically iv got 29 years to find myself.. my dad's 93.. When we hit 60 where do we go..what do we do? meercat xx

white knight Long term prospects with mental illness
  • replies: 4

Many of you if not all worry about your future. Understandably so as the journey from realising you have one to diagnosis, meds, therapy, recovery and the ups and downs that takes decades of personal endurance all take their toll. You know what I'm t... View more

Many of you if not all worry about your future. Understandably so as the journey from realising you have one to diagnosis, meds, therapy, recovery and the ups and downs that takes decades of personal endurance all take their toll. You know what I'm talking about. But it doesnt have to be all bad news, depending on many factors of course. So not I'm 65yo and I was a late starter in terms of realising I had some mental illness issues, 2003 and 47yo when my then partner read a book called "ADHD in ADULTS" and said- thats what you have. Well 6 years of taking medication for ADHD was a drama as it turned out I never had it in the first place- second diagnosis was bipolar2, depression and dysthymia. I'd also had anxiety since 1987 but I licked that as described in other threads. So 2009 onwards I began proper partial recovery with the right meds, therapy for a couple of years and from then on self learning/research etc. So what is life like now? In a few words- "As good as I could every expect it to be and fairly happy". We often talk about "acceptance" of our mental illness as being a milestone of sorts, it is and once accepted in your mind, it becomes not such a big deal. You accept that many people are very naïve with the topic, you accept you have your good days and bad, you accept some discrimination in society and so on. You get to a point when you are comfortable about it. Any issues with other people is their problem. I study humans a lot. You watch chain smokers puff away as they tell you that your medications aren't good for you (quasi psychiatrists), or the comments on social media of one person disagreeing on a common topic and saying "you must have mental issues to support that Government", you support your partner in every way and ensure you give them enough love and support when you are capable with the mutual understanding that it cant be the same on your bad days. All of these conditions of flexibilities become, eventually, a comfort zone. It wasnt always like that of course. It has taken hard work but my message is that it is worth it. The move from the city to a country town, ridding my life of toxic people (even including my destructive mother sadly), now retired but when working I strived to get my dream job that had no shift work and I worked alone, financial independence and a pet, our dear mini foxy along with hobbies. There is good prospects long term for us all is we make the commitment and changes needed for best results. TonyWK

Iteachyouthincustody what is compassion burnout
  • replies: 1

Hello all,I teach in a youth justice setting and I would like to know if compassion burnout is common among teachers in the education field?.I am aware that "Compassion Burnout" and "Vicarious Trauma" is associated with our first responders, has anyo... View more

Hello all,I teach in a youth justice setting and I would like to know if compassion burnout is common among teachers in the education field?.I am aware that "Compassion Burnout" and "Vicarious Trauma" is associated with our first responders, has anyone outside of emergency services experienced "Compassion Burnout" and "Vicarious Trauma"?I have had a few unpleasant incidents at the Youth Justice Centre, where I have been verbally threatened with physical assault and have seen a young person get violent.I am getting support from my well-being officer and l am curious how "Compassion Fatigue" and "Vicarious Trauma " affects those who care and work with people that have trauma in their lives.

ecomama Forgiveness
  • replies: 39

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different". Oprah Winfrey How many times have you heard someone say, "You need to forgive that person" ?? One billion and counting would be my answer lol. My question to the person saying ... View more

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different". Oprah Winfrey How many times have you heard someone say, "You need to forgive that person" ?? One billion and counting would be my answer lol. My question to the person saying that to me, was "Tell me HOW to forgive, like give me the STEPS to follow and I will do it!"... No one has been able to answer the HOW to do this. Maybe I have forgiven now, maybe I haven't, IDK. Is forgiveness a practice we work at every day? Is it visualising a little gift box wrapped with a bow and handed to that person? (Yep that was suggested to me lol). Does TIME help us forgive or is this just "letting go"? I've found it VERY hard to Pray loving Prayers for people I needed to forgive. Just sayin' lol. Although the Bible has Jesus' words "Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do." I'm not Jesus. Have you forgiven people who've wronged you? Could you be brave enough to share with us HOW you forgave that person or people? Thankyou for your contributions. Love EM

quirkywords What gives you comfort.?
  • replies: 19

We often think about what upsets us, what makes us feel uncomfortable what makes us sad, I would like to talk about what gives comfort what makes us feel comfortable.someone had knitted a woollen rug for me and it feels soft and comforting. If I feel... View more

We often think about what upsets us, what makes us feel uncomfortable what makes us sad, I would like to talk about what gives comfort what makes us feel comfortable.someone had knitted a woollen rug for me and it feels soft and comforting. If I feel upset I wrap myself in the blanket. I find when people really listen to me and understand me it gives me comfort. What gives you comfort .?

ecomama BB Arts & Crafts Circle
  • replies: 95

Hey wonderful people! I take delight when I read about what other people have made themselves; from art works to sewing to knitting to ANYTHING! The CREATIVITY in these forums is astounding. The skill set is pretty mind blowing too. It warms my heart... View more

Hey wonderful people! I take delight when I read about what other people have made themselves; from art works to sewing to knitting to ANYTHING! The CREATIVITY in these forums is astounding. The skill set is pretty mind blowing too. It warms my heart to know that Arts and Crafts are being enjoyed by so many of our members. Please feel welcome to SHARE your past, present or future projects with us all. Or even what you'd like to learn how to do. Any gift ideas are most welcome too! Love EM

Willow Jude How to feel 'connected' without reaching out?
  • replies: 23

Hey everyone, We know that a sense of connection is important for our wellbeing, but sometimes there are times when actively reaching out to a friend, family member, partner, etc. to meet that need for connection isn’t possible/realistic, for whateve... View more

Hey everyone, We know that a sense of connection is important for our wellbeing, but sometimes there are times when actively reaching out to a friend, family member, partner, etc. to meet that need for connection isn’t possible/realistic, for whatever reason. So I was wondering if there’s anything else you find is helpful to foster a sense of ‘connection’? I tend to: - engage with familiar content (TV shows, movies, music, etc.)- watch YouTube channels I like where the creators seem to care about their viewers and engage with them like they’re a friend- participate in discussions on the forums, or connect with other users on social media like Tumblr- use Instagram stories to post things that my friends can respond to (e.g. polls, asking for suggestions, etc.) I would be really interested to hear your thoughts on this! - WJ

GMarenghi Been down so long it looks like up to me
  • replies: 1

Over the past years I believe that I developed an addiction to shopping online. Fortunately I never spent beyond my means and I don't have the burden of debt, however over the course of October, during which I did not buy anything apart from essentia... View more

Over the past years I believe that I developed an addiction to shopping online. Fortunately I never spent beyond my means and I don't have the burden of debt, however over the course of October, during which I did not buy anything apart from essentials, I realised that I had been using online shopping as a coping mechanism for loneliness and fulfilment. I was not ignorant to this fact, however chose to bury the realisation holding onto the belief that I might as well have something good to look forward to because nothing else seemed to happen. A consistent theme throughout my life seems to be just waiting around for things to happen to me. Buying objects gave me control over an aspect of my life, and allowed me to experience, albeit fleeting and illusory, some kind of agency. I was investing in materialistic objects partly as a way to foster a ideal version of myself. Without going into too much detail, I can confidently say that over the course of the past 12 years I have not made a single real life friend, been in a relationship or achieved any of the 'milestones' which seem to define an 'ordinary' life. By way of seeking honesty within myself, the absence of past coping strategies has left me feeling as if in a vacuum. Honestly sometimes I look at my life and cannot believe this is how things have turned out. I am grateful to my parents but aside from my mother, whom I call multiple times daily, I do not talk to anyone or go anywhere besides grocery shopping. Ultimately kicking the habit of online shopping has made me realise that I can be content with what I have without seeking materialistic objects. The downside is that I am at a loss now as to what to look forward to. I have attended meetups in the past, some have been good, but the friendships never seem to go anywhere. I truly have no clue as to how some people just seem to magically find their soul mate or crowd so easily. What makes it worse is that coming into the holidays period everyone around me seems to have fulfiling social lives, exciting adventures, etc. I'm still looking at meetups but tired of being disappointed. I'm open to suggestions but again, do not feel hopeful when I have been let down so many times in the past.