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Just_Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 703

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

Kazzl Helpful books and resources
  • replies: 103

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, sp... View more

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, specialist websites or blogs, podcasts, vodcasts or print or online journals or magazines. Please note BB has a list of websites and resources under Get Help, so maybe check there first for online resources. (Also note that we cannot include live links to online resources.) To make things easy to find, please put the category of the content first in bold, then the title of the book and then, if you want, a brief comment. Please note that anything listed here reflects the member's views only. Publications and other resources are not necessarily endorsed by beyondblue. Happy reading!

Chris_B Worried about other users - how are we all doing?
  • replies: 43

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences... View more

Hi everyone, I thought I'd check in to see how everyone is doing; while the nature of these forums is as a place of support, and it feels good to help others, we need to make sure our own welfare is looked after too. Sometimes reading the experiences of others can be validating, because we feel 'we've been there', but sometimes it can also be a trigger for bringing up unpleasant feelings. I've started this thread so we can have a constructive discussion about helping others and helping ourselves - how do you cope when you read about others in distress? Do you have a self-care plan in place, and if so, what is it? Really looking forward to hearing from you all.

All discussions

pl515p1 Essential - absolutely necessary; extremely important (Or so they say)
  • replies: 4

Hello, I just want to know, is healthcare, and mental health truly essential? If so, why must we still be separated by telehealth, when the counsellor, and the patient are both vaccinated, tested negative to COVID, sit more than 1.5 m apart, and wear... View more

Hello, I just want to know, is healthcare, and mental health truly essential? If so, why must we still be separated by telehealth, when the counsellor, and the patient are both vaccinated, tested negative to COVID, sit more than 1.5 m apart, and wear a mask? Why can we not be? I held yet another telehealth session today, and I do not hold blame on my counsellor, or psychologist, they have gone above and beyond for me, I fell apart today, and I can see in her eyes the wish to be by my side to comfort me. Whenever I am in her presence I feel protected, I feel a sense that I am moving forwards, she allows me to be vulnerable, but provides the warmth and comfort I need after feeling so exposed. When our sessions are over, she walks with me to the door, I feel supported as we say "until next time". Whenever we hold telehealth sessions though, I dread the close, see, after we say our goodbye, we wave, then the screen fades to black, and I am back in an empty home, so cold, so alone. I feel worse after these sessions, and I want to know why, after almost 2 months, we cannot return to the care I, and many other severely require, all protocols would be more than met, this cannot go on much longer, I cannot continue to outpour emotion and feel more and more empty and alone. Where once I felt hope going to see her, now I feel trapped in hopelessness, I have thought about giving up, I see her wonderful face look at mine pained, shackled from providing me the care she is capable of, I feel as if I am letting her down feeling so low. I classify my mental health, grief, and PTSD as essential to my well being, and ultimate survival. Someone tell me what harm would come from allowing us to share a space in person, saving me from falling into complete despair, and giving me hope for the future? Can anyone answer, Please? Or am I just another number slipping through the cracks of an inadequate government.

The_Bro DIDN'T GET THAT JOB OR LOST THAT COMPETITION - HOW DO YOU FEEL?
  • replies: 12

Hi Everybody I have found it really hard to understand and control emotions if I don't succeed at something that is important to me. Things like not getting that job you really needed and were very keen on, or just losing a race, a game, or anything ... View more

Hi Everybody I have found it really hard to understand and control emotions if I don't succeed at something that is important to me. Things like not getting that job you really needed and were very keen on, or just losing a race, a game, or anything you wanted to win! I wonder what we can learn from the Olympics? I was struck by Genevieve Gregson's reply, when asked how she felt about snapping her achilles tendon in the 3000m steeple chase when in sight of the finish line. It was also her birthday! "I'm not OK yet but I will be" was her incredible response. Here she was on crutches, her hopes and dreams in tatters after many years of sacrifice and training. Her inner strength and self belief drove her to explain that she was already mentally working on a recovery and training plan, after surgery that would keep her on crutches for many months. Of course it hurts big time when you fail for whatever reason. In races I often looked for all sorts of excuses, or if I didn't get that job it was always that stupid company's fault and I didn't want the job anyway! A while ago I changed how I responded, looking inside myself, remembering the success I have enjoyed, and even congratulating others who had beaten me. Is that called being a good loser? The real thing is, it made me feel much much better about losing, and the pain became manageable almost straight away. Call it karma, but a few years ago I lost a job application after interview and I was sure it was going to be me. I sent the company a nice email thanking them for the opportunity and reinforcing my interest in working with them. I allowed myself to feel pretty miserable. Know what? They called me a week later, told me the other applicant was not suitable, and I got the job and loved it for four years! Maybe instead of trying to run from pain, we should embrace it, lean into it, go through it instead of trying to go over it? When things fall apart, isn't that the opportunity to find what we are really made of? I think Buddhists call it 'Suffering Properly' - let yourself feel pretty crappy, sit with your feelings but try to not let them force you into sudden actions you may regret later. Pretty soon you may start thinking about all the things you like about yourself (there are always lots of them if you look deep inside), and preparing for the future and another challenge! I think I might have raved on a bit so please forgive me. How do you handle things when you lose? Let me know! Seeya, The Bro

startingnew today im proud of myself for...
  • replies: 387

it's important to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes for doing something scary or challenging or out of our comfort zone so whats something your proud of yourself for?

it's important to give ourselves a pat on the back sometimes for doing something scary or challenging or out of our comfort zone so whats something your proud of yourself for?

Katyonthehamsterwheel Building resilience - how?
  • replies: 3

Feel like I seem to fall apart over the slightest thing. And I mean, fall right apart. How do you build resilience? Looking for ideas, tools, resources… What works for you?

Feel like I seem to fall apart over the slightest thing. And I mean, fall right apart. How do you build resilience? Looking for ideas, tools, resources… What works for you?

Scapegoated New Antidepressant working better but people who scapegoat
  • replies: 3

STILL get to me because I have trauma from my narcissist mother and pedophile older narcissist sister doing that. They would watch me then ridicule and criticize me all because the BIG MAN ON CAMPUS my father favored me. They are mousy and I am prett... View more

STILL get to me because I have trauma from my narcissist mother and pedophile older narcissist sister doing that. They would watch me then ridicule and criticize me all because the BIG MAN ON CAMPUS my father favored me. They are mousy and I am pretty and exotic so they are extremely jealous and they hurt me when I was little emotionally so now whenever someone LOOKS at me I feel very self-conscious and I also do not like being scapegoated and people-narcissists -SMELL scapegaots coming and they will hunt you down. So Any group-at work or at school is potential for scapegoating and this new antidepressant makes me feel less self conscious but people are still staring and it just bothers me less. Someone told me that the guys say "she's really pretty but weird." Well, yeah, if you had two psychopaths for a mother and adult sibling mother like figure you would be "weird" read: TRAUMATIZED too. I just go about my day doing what is healthy for me. trying to connect with Nature. Today I got my period so I didn;t feel like exercising.

Gab_ HOW DO YOU KEEP BUSY???
  • replies: 17

I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm having negative thoughts, the only way for me to stay on top of my head is to keep busy. For me it helps to be productive and creative, whether that be by working, doing my assignments, exercising, paintin... View more

I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm having negative thoughts, the only way for me to stay on top of my head is to keep busy. For me it helps to be productive and creative, whether that be by working, doing my assignments, exercising, painting, or writing poetry. Does anyone out there want to share how they cope when they're feeling 'not so hot'???

Ciara1 Love is everything?
  • replies: 1

It's difficult to define living now. I am breathing, my heart is beating, my body is warm and I am healthy as I can be. Still my life feels hollow. Why? I have friends and I have my family around me. I have work and I have the opportunity to succeed ... View more

It's difficult to define living now. I am breathing, my heart is beating, my body is warm and I am healthy as I can be. Still my life feels hollow. Why? I have friends and I have my family around me. I have work and I have the opportunity to succeed in life. I am quiet lucky in that sense. I am thankful. What is missing then? I been living without my boyfriend for 1 and half years. He lives overseas and I am here, stuck in constant floods of lockdowns. We started talking at the beginning of COVID-19 and have now formed a relationship, which I value the most in my life. Its difficult not being able to be with him. It breaks my heart and it discolours everything else I have in my life. I am trying to apply for exemption to see him. However my pain and story is not good enough for the borders authority to give exception. I am holding on and trying to stay optimistic. Its hard though, living with no clarity. I am lacking that is fundamental to life…love.

Ciara1 What keeps you going?
  • replies: 1

I learnt that for me its the little things that keep me going. From being able to see the sunset, to being able to say good morning to my boyfriend, to finishing my work and going home, and to watching my favourite Tv-show. I had to explore all of th... View more

I learnt that for me its the little things that keep me going. From being able to see the sunset, to being able to say good morning to my boyfriend, to finishing my work and going home, and to watching my favourite Tv-show. I had to explore all of these things during the pandemic to keep myself going. To keep myself positive. I want to know from you, what it is that keeps you going. Not just today, not this year but living this life, what is it that makes you get up and keep breathing.

white knight WORDS are stick and stones
  • replies: 16

We have all been hurt by them yet they do not touch us physically. Words. Sticks and stone will break our bones but words will never hurt me? hat part of that saying didnt get into us at childhood? In my late 50's now it was only a few years ago that... View more

We have all been hurt by them yet they do not touch us physically. Words. Sticks and stone will break our bones but words will never hurt me? hat part of that saying didnt get into us at childhood? In my late 50's now it was only a few years ago that two separate messages came through via forums or Facebook "go back to your doctor and get some more medication you nutter". On both occasions I sat there stunned. Then came the rebound, the fight was on, the need to correct what was clearly a travesty, an unaccepted form of abuse akin to racial slurs, sexual discrimination and all those things this millennium would no longer tolerate. For I was right, there is no place in todays society for such cruel and unjust abuse. But I forgot one thing.....they said it because they still could say it. No law can gag them. So did I do anything wrong? Apart from any provocation by disagreeing with their point of view, my error was to allow these people to effect me with words.Words can be soooo cutting, slicing through every nerve of your soul. Words can come out of the blue and savagely cut through your honour. Words can be from inaccurate to plain wrong. Words can, when coming from a master spin doctor, evil in their transmission, spiteful in ways that many of us cannot fathom because it isnt in our make up...we didnt develop this ability. Us with mental illness are more often than those without it, to speak without thinking and speak with truth (my belief). We dont possess the ability to scheme and therefore we are more shocked than others when cruelty arrives at our ears. And the rock throwers know that, they know how to aim at your head with their mean missiles. Of course this is just another reason why some of us retreat to our lair, our safe haven. Such words of evil intent also come out of the blue, no warning, no signals. You may have an idea that you dont like these people but still nothing can prepare you for their full armoury unleashed. Words can be unleashed at the worst moments. The weddings, the birthdays, the funerals, public places. What can we do? Hard for us to prepare because that would involve planning for words you dont know the content of. You might have the ability to plan a laugh but that would involve some awesome acting on your part. What we do have to do, to protect ourselves, is to try to remain invisible. Distance oneself. Cross the road. Categorise these tyrants for what they are- inhuman. For words are weapons. Let them throw them at themselves.

Here2Talk Does anyone feel for their pets?
  • replies: 3

Got our dog desexed today. All growing up my family got it done to our pets, but for the first time I feel sad about it. Not depressed sad, just a strange feeling of sadness... it’s weird because a couple of weeks later the dog won’t know or care- it... View more

Got our dog desexed today. All growing up my family got it done to our pets, but for the first time I feel sad about it. Not depressed sad, just a strange feeling of sadness... it’s weird because a couple of weeks later the dog won’t know or care- it’s a strange quirk of the human condition to consider such things.... Anyone else have stories or just a tendency for their empathy for their pets to be so much it hurts? Take care.