Feeling Trapped: Depression, Anxiety, and Finding My Way (Cross-dressing, Uncommunicative Marriage)

[AzureHorizon]

## Reaching Out - Struggling with Depression and Anxiety

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum and wanted to reach out because I'm at a bit of a loss.  I've been living with depression for a while now and take medication to manage it. Lately, though, with the pressure at work, it feels like I'm barely staying afloat. 

The depression and anxiety team up to really mess with my mood and sometimes even my work performance. It's like being trapped, and it's hard to see a way out sometimes.

I'm married, and my wife knows about my depression. The thing is, I don't think she quite knows how to help. Maybe it feels overwhelming for her.

To cope, I've turned to some things that aren't necessarily healthy – like looking at pornography and occasionally cross-dressing. Cross-dressing, in particular, can help lower my stress, but it's not something anyone in my life supports, especially my wife. We've had arguments about it before, and while I stopped for a while, the urge keeps coming back.

The problem is, I can't really talk to her about it openly. It just opens old wounds and makes things worse. Lately, I've noticed her spending more time focusing on her faith – she's Catholic, and I'm not. 

I've been in Australia for 25 years now, having migrated from India.  I don't have any family here, which adds another layer of isolation.

Honestly, I'm just looking for some answers.  Has anyone out there dealt with something similar? Any advice on managing depression and anxiety, especially when work adds to the pressure? 

Thanks for listening, and I hope to hear from some of you.

[Sophie_M]

Hi AzureHorizon, 

Thank you for your post today and a big welcome to the forums! It is wonderful that you have been able to share your story with the community. We know that it can be really difficult to take that step and ask for some help, but you never know who might read your post and feel less alone in their own experience. We can hear you are going through a difficult time with depression and we wanted to reach out with some extra support.

We know you are going through a tough time and you are feeling trapped, please know you can give us a call at any time on 1300 22 4636 if you feel like talking to someone. We are here for you, and you don't have to go through this alone.  Is there anyone you feel comfortable talking to about this? A GP can be a great port of call, especially when you are dealing with stress at work, they can always provide you with a medical certificate if you require some time off or a psychologist to provide you with support.
 
Thank you again for your courage and for posting in such an articulate way. We hope that you feel comfortable in reach out, please feel free to keep us updated on how you are going if you feel comfortable.  

Kind regards, 

Sophie M 

[ReeBecca]

Hi AzureHorizon,

I can’t say that I’m in the exact same situation as you but I do understand how you feel being trapped in a cycle of depression anxiety that you can’t seem to escape. It is awful and it must be really difficult for you not having any family you can turn to for support. 
It might be worth trying again to talk to your wife about it. If she is focusing on her faith than that’s a good sign that she is trying to improve herself too and she might be more open and compassionate with you if you open up to her