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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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ecomama Bucket list, please share!
  • replies: 4

Do you have a bucket list? Would you like one? What would you put in your bucket list? Hoping for LOTS of positive chats about people's dreams and steps to making them happen.

Do you have a bucket list? Would you like one? What would you put in your bucket list? Hoping for LOTS of positive chats about people's dreams and steps to making them happen.

white knight Loneliness- a remedy of mind, ideas 
  • replies: 4

This time of year seems to raise the topic of loneliness more often than other times. For whatever the reason for feeling lonely, it is a state of being that leaves us with the problem all by ourselves. It's a bit like patience, we cant buy it nor bo... View more

This time of year seems to raise the topic of loneliness more often than other times. For whatever the reason for feeling lonely, it is a state of being that leaves us with the problem all by ourselves. It's a bit like patience, we cant buy it nor borrow it from others so loneliness, the remedy, can elude us. I did mention a number of key issues on this topic here- https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/loneliness--a-remedy-of-mind The main thrust of that post was to focus on what you have not what you dont have. In other words, you might well be lonely and that can be a sad place to exist, but you are breathing and hopefully warm, sheltered and have food. Ok, so that's one way to cope and improve your mental state about your lonely existence. What we cant ignore though is the adage of conventional remedies most people seek out with this problem- lets look at those and analyse. Clubs. Men's shed have been around for a long time. I wont attend any, why not? My individual needs includes not being obliged to finish off a project if I'm unwell. I'm also reactive to those with a bossy demeanour. Finally, my charity work is covered in this forum. For many men though the Mens Shed is a fabulous place to be with comradery and sense of purpose. Females have their specific clubs also. My wife in our old town attended a sewing group. Our most recent hobby is slot cars. We have the option of racing them of watching others do so. Clubs are "hit and miss" affairs. Dont give up, try another. Computer groups. I'm in several Facebook groups. Some people shy away from Facebook but I learned a long time ago that FB is great unless you fail to control your own site, the people you allow to use it and other features you might ignore. So the ideal limitations are- limit the number of friends (40-100), allow your posts only to extend to "friends" not public and immediately block incompatible/toxic people. The latter become quite automatic after a while. The benefits of FB is uploading photos to family and friends and ease of keeping abreast of developments as well as news and special interests Get a dog and make sure its a cute one (or two, they play well together). You'll be amazed at how many people talk to you and friendships flourish over a common interest. Join a dog club. We have a mini foxy, adorable. If I was single I'd buy another one. Does anyone else have ideas to remedy loneliness? TonyWK

That Other Guy Autism diagnosis
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone. I've posted a bit here in the past but drifted away I am in a struggling marriage, I constantly think about leaving. that's always the subtext for me, and the thing on my mind I found a service that I thought might give me an autism diag... View more

Hi everyone. I've posted a bit here in the past but drifted away I am in a struggling marriage, I constantly think about leaving. that's always the subtext for me, and the thing on my mind I found a service that I thought might give me an autism diagnosis and did a first interview. I talked about an incorrect schizophrenia diagnosis from my teens, and my abusive childhood. The woman told me they think I have a type b personality disorder. That's things like narcissism or borderline. My son has diagnoses of borderline and autism, making them not mutually exclusive. I'm just left feeling that something that has helped me understand myself has been taken away, and I've been told I am something that seems quite toxic to me. I'm not sure what to do or where to go?

TillyM14 Mental health Apps?
  • replies: 6

Hi All, looking for recommendations on any good mental health apps. Im struggling with motivation because of my depression so any suggestions are welcome

Hi All, looking for recommendations on any good mental health apps. Im struggling with motivation because of my depression so any suggestions are welcome

zenny I don’t really know what is wrong with me
  • replies: 4

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I know that whatever i have going on with myself is not healthy. I overthink every little thing in my life. I hate myself. I have so much anxiety about my future and the pressure that my family has on me isn’t help... View more

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I know that whatever i have going on with myself is not healthy. I overthink every little thing in my life. I hate myself. I have so much anxiety about my future and the pressure that my family has on me isn’t helping at all. I actually don’t even know if its the pressure i put on myself overthinking or its actually real. There is moments where my heart feels like its in my throat and I can’t swallow. I have this sinking feeling that everything will go to shit. I think everyone hates me. Every time things go wrong i don’t know why i want to harm myself. I am such a people pleaser and i hate that. How do i know what is wrong with me.? I have so many things going on and all i feel is uncertainty and stress. I just wish I didn’t exist. I am writing this because my hands my mind just feels so weird. I cried a little before this. I had a few important things to do today and i’ve been anxious the whole day. I just feel so weird so sad so out of place i wish things were better but i never do anything to make it better i only like to sleep and sit on my bed why is life so exhausting what is wrong with me?

car10001 having a family function
  • replies: 4

hi was wondering to keep in mind what the clues are that it might be time for your own place and what you can do to hang on until you can buy your own and not pay comparable money in rent, will give a story below. one aunty always has xmas her house ... View more

hi was wondering to keep in mind what the clues are that it might be time for your own place and what you can do to hang on until you can buy your own and not pay comparable money in rent, will give a story below. one aunty always has xmas her house as shes got a entertaining area out back and the place am living at doesnt and not only that youre also at a stage where youre wanting your own space to entertain people when you want and to have privacy and isolating separate and just having your own space. been wanting to have a xmas function for dont know how long and cant because dont have own entertaining area yet and could be years away from getting that. only thing that am able to do probably is accomodation places and be able to have the space to yourself to have people over or camp sites and use camp kitchen. if you used the camp kitchen or a cabin on xmas or australia day how would you be able to secure a space in the camp kitchen without others taking it even if other people are in it using the other tables and spaces. just want somewhere to do it and feel like that its never going to happen and will never be able to run a xmas until you get your own house and waiting until am able to buy unless you can get around it until it happens. theres been some things that have happened and its pushed me to do something. if you were to use a camp kitchen is it going to be a problem securing a table and a kitchen area even if other people are using the other cookers and other tables and with old people walking to toilet block as depending on park you dont know how far apart they are. if anyones able to help with answers that would be great. thanks

Thefeels Working with anxiety
  • replies: 6

Hello everyone, Long time reader. Im not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. i need and want to get a job but my anxiety always gets in the way. Over the last 12 months i have started and left 3 jobs (full time and casual) bec... View more

Hello everyone, Long time reader. Im not sure if this is the right place to post this but here goes. i need and want to get a job but my anxiety always gets in the way. Over the last 12 months i have started and left 3 jobs (full time and casual) because i get exrreme axniety and panic attacks and not able to get through the day due to physical sickness from the anxiety. I would like something just around 4 or 5 hours a day a couple of days a week (im also at uni) to feel like im actually contributing to society and not have parents support me at 28 yrs old. I had it all, house the car the clothes (doesnt mean anything to me now) holidays but left an extremely stressful corporate job in 2019 sold everything and can no longer handle responsibility or stress, my mind goes wild, for example working in a call centre im scared of saying the wrong thing, making coffees im scared ill burn someones tongue, i love baking but what if someone gets food poisioning. id love to work in mental health but what if i say the wrong thing and trigger someone, i tried an online business but im so scared that something will go wrong - see how the mind races. I know i have lots to work on..i try to calm these thoughts but i need a job. for now ive figured i cant handle more than 4-5 hours at a time. Oh and Im also worried about burning out my references... When i search casual jobs, they always say casual but full time hours! Grr. I feel useless, lost confidence in my abilities and embarassed that ive left 3 jobs in 12 months when i know im a great worker - well i was. Does anyone have any tips for where to look/what their experience is / have you struggled the same way? thanks so much for reading and sorry for the super long post

Clues_Of_Blue Hey look, a birdie! (How to function with ADHD.)
  • replies: 31

As someone only recently diagnosed with ADHD, I'm still getting my head around what aspects of this crazy critter are thanks to that, and what I can do about it. It was always apparent to me that I was incredibly forgetful compared to others around m... View more

As someone only recently diagnosed with ADHD, I'm still getting my head around what aspects of this crazy critter are thanks to that, and what I can do about it. It was always apparent to me that I was incredibly forgetful compared to others around me, and I've driven many a manager nuts with my tendency to bounce between tasks constantly (mostly they just ran with it because I'm actually pretty competent if left to my own processes and - very importantly - deadlines to work to), so I have a few strategies for working around it after 40-odd years. That said, I'd love to hear from others with ADHD about how you've managed the condition and how you wade through the daily drudgery. Of course I'm equally happy to share any tricks I've worked out for myself. Blue.

sbella02 Reliable budgeting tips?
  • replies: 5

Hello beautiful people of the forums, I just had a thought, and I'm wondering whether others would be able to offer any resources or perhaps advice from their own experiences. I've never been one to struggle with budgeting as I don't generally spend ... View more

Hello beautiful people of the forums, I just had a thought, and I'm wondering whether others would be able to offer any resources or perhaps advice from their own experiences. I've never been one to struggle with budgeting as I don't generally spend a lot, but recently I've really been trying to cut back on my expenses and I'm not having much success. Does anyone have any fantastic budgeting tips? Are there any resources out there that are great for tracking expenses or working out how much money to spend on certain things? They don't have to be revolutionary, life-changing tips, more just little things you do/have seen that help you save money or figure out how to distribute it to different aspects of your life. I know I've seen plenty of tutorials for Excel spreadsheets but honestly they can do my head in sometimes, I'm not overly proficient in Excel. I find that Googling "how to better manage expenses" I often get a sea of influencers trying to make money from various programs, courses or books. I'm also a uni student who still lives at home, so I should in theory be a lot better at managing my money than I am. Thank you in advance! SB

white knight Triggers and meltdowns
  • replies: 8

With regards to triggers and meltdowns it seems everyone is different. However, a trigger is an unexpected event so you really cannot plan for them in terms of avoidance. Well, that's not entirely true, by life changing actions we can minimalise them... View more

With regards to triggers and meltdowns it seems everyone is different. However, a trigger is an unexpected event so you really cannot plan for them in terms of avoidance. Well, that's not entirely true, by life changing actions we can minimalise them, improve your environment, surround yourself with placid, loving people, improve your financial and employment circumstances etc can help remarkably. Minimalising is not elimination so having carried out all the changes, triggers still occur albeit much less. For me a trigger results in a meltdown, like hot water running through the veins in my head I become highly emotional (bipolar2). My immediate need is to escape the place I'm occupying no matter where it is. Yesterday it happened. I attended a podiatrist for the first time. The pleasant young lady began asking me questions, many of them associated with the numerous meds and physically issues. My anger built up (impatience). Then after 45 minutes of this she handed me a clipboard of questions. That was the real trigger, that feeling I get when I feel like a school boy going through these motions when all I want is my feet attended to (cause-domineering narcissistic mother). On every previous occasion this feeling arrives I leave, walk out. This time was different, I told her "I'm upset, I think I need to leave". Straight away she realised I was in a mess and suggested I time out for a few minutes, she reassured me all is ok and said I can begin speaking when I'm ready. About 5 minutes later I began to talk again. At all times she just sat there not saying a word. Clearly this was not your usual podiatrist, she was magnificent. Within around 10 minutes I was sitting on the raised chair joking about Tasmania where she came from. Amazing. I learned a lesson yesterday- to not over react with a meltdown, to give the person a chance to help, to remedy. To acknowledge that meltdowns dont last forever and by leaving can exacerbate the event. Like all problems good management can mean the difference between a life of turmoil or a life with best management practices to live a better life. To find a better path is to enter a better life. As always when I left the shopfront to that medical premises I looked up, at the trees and the birds and returned to my life of relative happiness. But today was better than most, I overcame a trigger and meltdown to stay and wait it out. As long as we improve is all that matters. How do you manage your meltdowns? Any tips? TonyWK