Staying well

Long term prospects with mental illness

replies: 4

Many of you if not all worry about your future. Understandably so as the journey from realising you have one to diagnosis, meds, therapy, recovery and the ups and downs that takes decades of personal endurance all take their toll. You know what I'm t... View more

Many of you if not all worry about your future. Understandably so as the journey from realising you have one to diagnosis, meds, therapy, recovery and the ups and downs that takes decades of personal endurance all take their toll. You know what I'm talking about. But it doesnt have to be all bad news, depending on many factors of course. So not I'm 65yo and I was a late starter in terms of realising I had some mental illness issues, 2003 and 47yo when my then partner read a book called "ADHD in ADULTS" and said- thats what you have. Well 6 years of taking medication for ADHD was a drama as it turned out I never had it in the first place- second diagnosis was bipolar2, depression and dysthymia. I'd also had anxiety since 1987 but I licked that as described in other threads. So 2009 onwards I began proper partial recovery with the right meds, therapy for a couple of years and from then on self learning/research etc. So what is life like now? In a few words- "As good as I could every expect it to be and fairly happy". We often talk about "acceptance" of our mental illness as being a milestone of sorts, it is and once accepted in your mind, it becomes not such a big deal. You accept that many people are very naïve with the topic, you accept you have your good days and bad, you accept some discrimination in society and so on. You get to a point when you are comfortable about it. Any issues with other people is their problem. I study humans a lot. You watch chain smokers puff away as they tell you that your medications aren't good for you (quasi psychiatrists), or the comments on social media of one person disagreeing on a common topic and saying "you must have mental issues to support that Government", you support your partner in every way and ensure you give them enough love and support when you are capable with the mutual understanding that it cant be the same on your bad days. All of these conditions of flexibilities become, eventually, a comfort zone. It wasnt always like that of course. It has taken hard work but my message is that it is worth it. The move from the city to a country town, ridding my life of toxic people (even including my destructive mother sadly), now retired but when working I strived to get my dream job that had no shift work and I worked alone, financial independence and a pet, our dear mini foxy along with hobbies. There is good prospects long term for us all is we make the commitment and changes needed for best results. TonyWK

what is compassion burnout

replies: 1

Hello all,I teach in a youth justice setting and I would like to know if compassion burnout is common among teachers in the education field?.I am aware that "Compassion Burnout" and "Vicarious Trauma" is associated with our first responders, has anyo... View more

Hello all,I teach in a youth justice setting and I would like to know if compassion burnout is common among teachers in the education field?.I am aware that "Compassion Burnout" and "Vicarious Trauma" is associated with our first responders, has anyone outside of emergency services experienced "Compassion Burnout" and "Vicarious Trauma"?I have had a few unpleasant incidents at the Youth Justice Centre, where I have been verbally threatened with physical assault and have seen a young person get violent.I am getting support from my well-being officer and l am curious how "Compassion Fatigue" and "Vicarious Trauma " affects those who care and work with people that have trauma in their lives.

Forgiveness

replies: 39

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different". Oprah Winfrey How many times have you heard someone say, "You need to forgive that person" ?? One billion and counting would be my answer lol. My question to the person saying ... View more

"Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different". Oprah Winfrey How many times have you heard someone say, "You need to forgive that person" ?? One billion and counting would be my answer lol. My question to the person saying that to me, was "Tell me HOW to forgive, like give me the STEPS to follow and I will do it!"... No one has been able to answer the HOW to do this. Maybe I have forgiven now, maybe I haven't, IDK. Is forgiveness a practice we work at every day? Is it visualising a little gift box wrapped with a bow and handed to that person? (Yep that was suggested to me lol). Does TIME help us forgive or is this just "letting go"? I've found it VERY hard to Pray loving Prayers for people I needed to forgive. Just sayin' lol. Although the Bible has Jesus' words "Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do." I'm not Jesus. Have you forgiven people who've wronged you? Could you be brave enough to share with us HOW you forgave that person or people? Thankyou for your contributions. Love EM

What gives you comfort.?

replies: 19

We often think about what upsets us, what makes us feel uncomfortable what makes us sad, I would like to talk about what gives comfort what makes us feel comfortable.someone had knitted a woollen rug for me and it feels soft and comforting. If I feel... View more

We often think about what upsets us, what makes us feel uncomfortable what makes us sad, I would like to talk about what gives comfort what makes us feel comfortable.someone had knitted a woollen rug for me and it feels soft and comforting. If I feel upset I wrap myself in the blanket. I find when people really listen to me and understand me it gives me comfort. What gives you comfort .?

BB Arts & Crafts Circle

replies: 95

Hey wonderful people! I take delight when I read about what other people have made themselves; from art works to sewing to knitting to ANYTHING! The CREATIVITY in these forums is astounding. The skill set is pretty mind blowing too. It warms my heart... View more

Hey wonderful people! I take delight when I read about what other people have made themselves; from art works to sewing to knitting to ANYTHING! The CREATIVITY in these forums is astounding. The skill set is pretty mind blowing too. It warms my heart to know that Arts and Crafts are being enjoyed by so many of our members. Please feel welcome to SHARE your past, present or future projects with us all. Or even what you'd like to learn how to do. Any gift ideas are most welcome too! Love EM

How to feel 'connected' without reaching out?

replies: 23

Hey everyone, We know that a sense of connection is important for our wellbeing, but sometimes there are times when actively reaching out to a friend, family member, partner, etc. to meet that need for connection isn’t possible/realistic, for whateve... View more

Hey everyone, We know that a sense of connection is important for our wellbeing, but sometimes there are times when actively reaching out to a friend, family member, partner, etc. to meet that need for connection isn’t possible/realistic, for whatever reason. So I was wondering if there’s anything else you find is helpful to foster a sense of ‘connection’? I tend to: - engage with familiar content (TV shows, movies, music, etc.)- watch YouTube channels I like where the creators seem to care about their viewers and engage with them like they’re a friend- participate in discussions on the forums, or connect with other users on social media like Tumblr- use Instagram stories to post things that my friends can respond to (e.g. polls, asking for suggestions, etc.) I would be really interested to hear your thoughts on this! - WJ

Been down so long it looks like up to me

replies: 1

Over the past years I believe that I developed an addiction to shopping online. Fortunately I never spent beyond my means and I don't have the burden of debt, however over the course of October, during which I did not buy anything apart from essentia... View more

Over the past years I believe that I developed an addiction to shopping online. Fortunately I never spent beyond my means and I don't have the burden of debt, however over the course of October, during which I did not buy anything apart from essentials, I realised that I had been using online shopping as a coping mechanism for loneliness and fulfilment. I was not ignorant to this fact, however chose to bury the realisation holding onto the belief that I might as well have something good to look forward to because nothing else seemed to happen. A consistent theme throughout my life seems to be just waiting around for things to happen to me. Buying objects gave me control over an aspect of my life, and allowed me to experience, albeit fleeting and illusory, some kind of agency. I was investing in materialistic objects partly as a way to foster a ideal version of myself. Without going into too much detail, I can confidently say that over the course of the past 12 years I have not made a single real life friend, been in a relationship or achieved any of the 'milestones' which seem to define an 'ordinary' life. By way of seeking honesty within myself, the absence of past coping strategies has left me feeling as if in a vacuum. Honestly sometimes I look at my life and cannot believe this is how things have turned out. I am grateful to my parents but aside from my mother, whom I call multiple times daily, I do not talk to anyone or go anywhere besides grocery shopping. Ultimately kicking the habit of online shopping has made me realise that I can be content with what I have without seeking materialistic objects. The downside is that I am at a loss now as to what to look forward to. I have attended meetups in the past, some have been good, but the friendships never seem to go anywhere. I truly have no clue as to how some people just seem to magically find their soul mate or crowd so easily. What makes it worse is that coming into the holidays period everyone around me seems to have fulfiling social lives, exciting adventures, etc. I'm still looking at meetups but tired of being disappointed. I'm open to suggestions but again, do not feel hopeful when I have been let down so many times in the past.

Post Coronavirus fatigue support

replies: 7

Hi to the support community I’m hopeful that someone may be able to relate and perhaps provide some guidance with reference to their own experience or someone close to them.I’ve been dealing with post COVID fatigue now for 10 weeks. I’m under the car... View more

Hi to the support community I’m hopeful that someone may be able to relate and perhaps provide some guidance with reference to their own experience or someone close to them.I’ve been dealing with post COVID fatigue now for 10 weeks. I’m under the care of a GP, but as this is still a relatively new virus, they don’t necessarily have all the answers for my questions. The GP indicated around 12 weeks for full recovery. In the last two weeks I have noticed a small amount of improvement in my leg strength and less muscle aches and pains but still have lethargy after small amounts of exertion and needing to rest a lot. Still have not attempted a short walk. I would just like an indication as to how it might all happen from hereon in? And expectations for a good way I may return to work? (Details appreciated). Many thanks.

Reflecting the blame or hibernation

replies: 2

Have you ever been misunderstood? When I wrote the article "guilt the tormentor" it was with the concept that those that harbour guilt are full of obligations to others, to satisfy others expectations. To release yourself from such "duty" is to free ... View more

Have you ever been misunderstood? When I wrote the article "guilt the tormentor" it was with the concept that those that harbour guilt are full of obligations to others, to satisfy others expectations. To release yourself from such "duty" is to free yourself and live a more relaxing life. There is some situations however, that require more than just a defence and release approach. If the metaphor is that some people in your life are throwing rocks, that you find ways to deflect them, is there occasions that justify tossing them back? I'm not talking about revenge, I'm talking about retaliating for your own protection. After all protecting yourself is a need for many of us. Recently I wrote about friends and family that visit constantly talking about their health issues. Nothing abnormal about that but some of us dont have the endurance to tolerate. Changing the topic can work, quietly leaving the room can but when to mention it? and how when our bucket is full? There is always justification to protect yourself. My dear wife gets affected by talk of injured animals. Friends recently described the collision of their car with a roo. When they began the details I asked them to stop, "she will get upset", surprisingly they continued. "Oh it's just that the poor animal was....". These situations are destressing and it can result in hibernation, closing yourself off from the world. In my thread "want to be a hermit" I described a "comfort zone", to seek out a middle ground of hermitization and normal living however with people there is only separation or toleration. It has been the case that I've struggled with the answer, if visitors wont change their conversation to respect our limits of coping then we blame ourselves. Is that right? Ironically in my defence days post Vietnam war those returning veterans could not tolerate talking about the place they were sent to and the events. People knew that when they socialised with those veterans that the war was off limits. "dont mention the war" was a catch phrase. Hence in the RSL there are members that do talk about it and there are non members that dont become members as they protect themselves from the conversations. How do we tolerate those that talk about distressing topics? A Firm "stop please"? Do you have ideas on this? TonyWK

The Concept of Identity

replies: 1

I would like to ask a question about the concept of identity. I am sorry if it seems simplistic or sarcastic. This is not so, I would genuinely like to understand it better. Is anyone able to share their insight? It seems that the concept of identity... View more

I would like to ask a question about the concept of identity. I am sorry if it seems simplistic or sarcastic. This is not so, I would genuinely like to understand it better. Is anyone able to share their insight? It seems that the concept of identity occurs in multiple aspects of life (e.g. religious belief, political association, ethnicity, culture, disability classification, gender, sexual preference, etc). This suggests an underlying theme common to all aspects. Often I have noticed that people seem to express relief and assertiveness at determining their identity. Life's process seems to be one of struggling to determine one's identity, forming a hypothesis about it, then accepting that identity. Some people are relatively adept at this process, others are slower and may need help but eventually use the same process. In my experience, a major feature of psychotherapy is in helping patients determine their identity using this process. Once knowing one's identity, many people appear to gain confidence from believing it. They appear able to remain affiliated with it for the remainder of their life. It gives them contentment to live sustainably. They also use the identity to advocate for that group's beliefs and "compete" against people with other beliefs. This process seems scientific or positivist. However, I am not convinced the philosophy applies to me. If someone decides to believe a identity applies to them how do they suppress the perpetual questioning in their mind about whether it is actually correct? Is there something wrong with me for not wanting to determine my identity or for eternally questioning or changing my identity?

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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