Q and A for you

[Luckylukyno]

I hope you don't mind me asking, as it can be a sensitive subject but...

If you suffer from long term unemployment what would make you get back out in the workforce if you had a chance? 

Try do something for yourself today! Some things I did today for myself were:

1. Have a shower and wash my hair

2. Get an important task done

[Croix]

Dear Luckylukyno~

Long term unemployment is a terribly difficult thing to cope with. Apart from the lack of money the whole situation is one that leads many people to doubt thier worth and lose trust in others. Constantly applying for positions, sometimes to get a negative reply back - or just as often never hearing anything more at all - erodes the soul and leeches away all motivation.

So how to avoid this? One of my solutions is to divide my day up into two very separate parts. To use the first part to seek jobs, write applications and read any replies. Carry out any preparations one might need to make further applications.

Then stop at a fixed time each day (unless going out/videoing for an interview)

Spend the remainder of the day in a completely unrelated way, Doing whatever chores are needed, talking with others, doing things that distract and are enjoyable. Things to look forward to. One may have things that give personal satisfaction and feelings of accomplishment.

That way a person is not as ground down by constant disappointment and rejection.

The other way I think of is to regularly volunteer. This can still allow time each day for the employment application treadmill but allows one to do something useful, and if you select carefully, interesting. Something one can take pride in, even if it is only a so-so set of tasks.

Anything from dog exercise at a shelter to assisting in a museum. The possibilities are enormous.

As a side benefit volunteering can lead to employment - or at least a current reference.

Hope this helps

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

Hello Luckylukyno and Croix

This is a good topic for me as I’m trying to find my way back into the workforce. Lots of helpful advice there Croix. And Luckylukyno, those are good activities for getting into the right space for work again.

I can relate about getting tasks done as a way of preparing oneself. Setting tasks here at home, such as gardening and household jobs, as been a way of getting back into being task-oriented for me. I’m also doing voluntary work and it’s helping me be familiar with a work environment again. I’d lost a lot of confidence due to a whole range of factors and I can feel it starting to come back now.

 I recently also tried on some of my old work clothes that I hadn’t worn for so long. It felt good to do that, like I felt more professional or something. It was a kind of psychological boost.

 I’m keeping an eye on both paid and unpaid work opportunities online. I’ve also just done a course that’s more personal development based, but that’s given me some more confidence within myself and a greater sense of readiness to face the world again, having been largely withdrawn from it for sometime.

I’m also practicing self-care activities to keep me in a healthy place going forward.

Croix, I really like your idea of dividing up the day between job searching and other aspects of life. I like the idea of getting the job search stuff sorted in the morning, and then tending to other daily tasks and self-care activities in the afternoon.

[Croix]

Dear ER and Luckylukyno~

Actually I think the idea of splitting up your day into necessary and different worlds and mindsets goes beyond searching for a job. True that can be pretty toxic with few replies, all negative and self-doubt is fostered.

However even when you have job, maybe standing all day behind a counter selling Ji**y C**o shoes that you will never be able to afford yourself, or maybe sitting in a cubicle with a phone, cold-calling trying to sell insurance.

You do it only because you need the money, and while hopefully glancing at the want-ads every day get worn down by it all. Here too you need that contrast and that different way of life that uplifts.

Having something to look forward to, something that is pleasant, changes the day - and acts as a reward. And being rewarded every day can lead one to realise one is worthy of reward.

I hope that makes sense

Croix

[Eagle Ray]

That does make sense Croix. In my last job I would often go after work to a lake I loved, walk out on a jetty and just sit with the water birds. That was my reward after a tiring work day. It felt like an essential component for my wellness and balance. I could just decompress while watching various water birds fluff their feathers and preen and listen to the frogs. I’d often stay for sunset. It was so peaceful.

In an earlier job, my thing was to come home and play my guitar. I was writing a lot of songs at the time. For a while I had a challenging, micro-managing supervisor so one day I came home and wrote a song about her. Not one that identified her personally, but how to deal with controlling behaviours so they wouldn’t get me down. It was very therapeutic.

I’ve done plenty of jobs that are not the ideal of what I’d most like to be doing, so having other things to look forward to is really important. When I think about it, I had music time, exercise time (usually walk or swim) or peaceful in nature time. Then there were social activities with one or more friends organised. So each was a component of time set aside apart from work that balanced out the effects of working, which could sometimes be challenging or fatiguing.

So as I embark on re-entering the workforce those thoughts about rewards and uplifting activities definitely help as a reminder to balance things out. Thank you.

[Beaser]

Im feeling really nervous about this subject.  I have an interview today for a job im not sure about. Im just feeling lost on the whole work thing. Ive worked since was 16 im now57 and feel like im just so tired from trying to earn a living and being happy . Life feels so hard at the moment.    

Brett

[Eagle Ray]

Dear Brett

I hope the interview went well today. I'm dealing with similar feelings as I'm in my late 40s and also feel like I've been on the merry-go-round a long time. I've been out of the workforce recently but now trying to get back in. I feel like sometimes what you can shift are your inner feelings/orientation to the world, and somehow that helps manage things in life including working life. I'm trying to see future work as providing a few things, including a sense of belonging to hopefully a good team environment, a sense of worth in having responsibilities and an opportunity to engage positively with others. I know it can feel hard though and I have struggled with feelings of fear and overwhelm as I recover from some grief and trauma stuff. I'm currently trying to build my confidence again doing voluntary work and it does seem to be working. I'm increasingly enjoying it and can feel my work functionality increasing.

Anyway, all the best and I hope you can find work that gives you a sense of belonging and fulfilment. Those things can really counter the more mundane aspects of work. Take care.

[Beaser]

Thank You Ray.

I really appreciate hearing from you.  

 Im feeling very stressed at the moment as i have to give notice  tomorrow and scared about doing it  . 

I hope you are well.       Brett.

[Eagle Ray]

Hi Brett,

 I’m guessing you got the job you had the interview for and so that’s why you’re giving notice tomorrow? Are you feeling good about making the change from one job to another?

Just think tomorrow you are taking care of what you are doing for yourself - gaining new employment. I’ve given notice before and I remember worrying sometimes too. But I’m learning that we have to act in our own best interests and sometimes that means moving on from one thing to another. I’m sure you’ve been a conscientious worker because you care about doing the right thing by others, so I think you can be proud of yourself both for the work you’ve done at the place you’re leaving, and be proud for gaining new employment somewhere else too.

 I think you will be fine tomorrow. Sending best wishes, ER