Immediate support
Immediate support

Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Sophie_M Sleep and Mental Health
  • replies: 1

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remem... View more

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remember things, regulate our emotions, or to feel excited and energised… it can change the way we think and feel in such a significant and impactful way. Whether it’s due to big life changes, global pandemics, financial or work stressors, health concerns (like menopause), how much ‘you’ time you have, or even unprocessed emotions you weren’t aware were there – so many things can impact how you sleep. All of this goes to show that not only do your daily habits, routines, and experiences play a huge role in maintaining healthy sleep cycles, but so does your mental health. And frustratingly enough, your sleep also impacts and informs your mental health and daily habits. Like most things, it’s a very easy cycle to fall into. So, it’s imperative that we are gentle and compassionate with ourselves on our journey to understanding what is making us so hypervigilant and unable to rest in the first place. Studies show that journaling or mindfulness practices throughout the day, healthy food, movement, sunshine, connection with loved ones, and support from health professionals can help us to feel more grounded and able to rest. But we are curious… what has worked for you? When do you notice that your sleep is most affected vs. when you get the best rest? And is there a way you could practice regulating your nervous system more throughout the day to help promote better sleep at night? We would love to hear your thoughts! Let us know if you have any questions and be sure to check out our page on ‘Sleep and Mental Health’ for more guidance and insight into a more supported and restful night’s sleep: Sleep and mental health - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue Looking forward to hearing from you! Kind regards, Sophie M

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Start a discussion

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

Elephant86 The blue heart of the ocean
  • replies: 1

The heart is powerful it is way we show love and compassion to those in our community who are struggling. There are many things we can learn from living our life giving to others and taking care of others. The story of compassion I would like to tell... View more

The heart is powerful it is way we show love and compassion to those in our community who are struggling. There are many things we can learn from living our life giving to others and taking care of others. The story of compassion I would like to tell you some stories of compassion. I beleive the earthgoes around through the power of giving to others and helping not just the king but also helping the poor. We must not look at everyone you meet with anger and hatred you must look at everyone with love and a giving spirit. I grew up in a home of teachers and we would always have people and family over to our house and there was never a time my mum turned anyone away there was always food on the table for everyone and we where happy and content. My parents worked hard but they always had love for everyone they came into contact with. A great example was one year at christmas we had a wonderful christmas and we cooked for 40 people that is how compassionate my parents are. The second time I saw compassion was when I volenteered in a soup kitchen and I made coffee and tea and meals for the community at the local church. I beleive in the power of compassion and looking after those less fortunate . If you say to some one how was your day can I support you. We are so lucky to live in Australia there are so many in the world that don't have what we have. You must always be gratful for what you have. There are those in this world who don't have hot food or shelter. You must realise how blessed you truly are. When you realise that compassion and giving to others is the way you want to live your life will be more profound and richer in more ways then one.All you need to do is find out in your community need help and do it. It could be as simple as cooking for people or if your a good builder making furniture and donating it.You need to find out what am I skilled at what can I do to help other people. This is the true measure and power of the heart

TunnelVision Struggling with motivation for weight loss & healthy living/general,self care
  • replies: 1

Hi all, I haven't posted here in a while as things have, overall, been going pretty well for me. I found myself a good GP, I switched jobs and now have a job I love, working with as great bunch of people, I have been taking medication for my anxiety ... View more

Hi all, I haven't posted here in a while as things have, overall, been going pretty well for me. I found myself a good GP, I switched jobs and now have a job I love, working with as great bunch of people, I have been taking medication for my anxiety which has really helped, and after procrastinating for years I finally got started in a uni course a few months ago which I have loved and done pretty well in my first subject. After the lockdowns I had put on a bunch of weight and started on a bit a fitness kick in late 2021 and shifted some weight which worked for a while, but nothing seems to stick. I can't seem to stick to a healthy eating regime, and in the past few months have really struggled with any kind of motivation or desire to properly take care of myself. While there is good stuff going on in my life, there have been a lot of stressors too. Some financial stuff as a single parent, just basic keeping up with managing my life is often a struggle for me. My kids are older and my teenager (16) has been in counselling for anxiety and depression for a couple of years now. Earlier this year my eldest (23) got a diagnosis of ADHD. This was an A-ha moment so we then pursued an assessment for the 16-year-old, and now they also have an ADHD diagnosis and (most likely) an ASD diagnosis. Of course this has triggered a huge guilt trip in my own brain because as their mum I haven't picked up on this earlier and they could have had better support at school. However at the same time, after having done a lot of reading to try and support my kids I am thinking maybe there is ADHD at play for me too, because it chimes with a lot of what has been my life experience. So all of that has been a lot, and has contributed to my health spiral. Earlier this year I ended up in hospital and having an operation due to my unhealthy life choices. That should have been the wake up call to make me change, but it only lasted about 6 weeks before I went back to my old ways. I've tried the CSIRO diet, tracking calories in apps, joined Les Mills, meal delivery services, bought an exercise bike, bought roller skates, tried atomic and tiny habit changes and nothing is sticking. I'm kind of at my wit's end with myself and don't know what else to do. I know this seems like the most first world problem ever, but the fact is my life is at stake. If I keep going this way I am going to have a heart attack or something. This morning I stepped on the scale and I am almost back at my post-lockdown weight which has made me realise I need help, so I'm reaching out here in the hope that someone can relate and maybe some offer advice or share what has worked for them. I'm sorry for such a long and rambling post.

quirkywords Does any feel invisible in social settings and with family.
  • replies: 5

Hello everyone.Sometimes feel unnoticed and ignored so that I feel invisible. Some people are interested in themselves so they chat about themselves and don’t seem to here my questions. When you feel that people don’t listen, don’t see you, don’t und... View more

Hello everyone.Sometimes feel unnoticed and ignored so that I feel invisible. Some people are interested in themselves so they chat about themselves and don’t seem to here my questions. When you feel that people don’t listen, don’t see you, don’t understand you, reject you as a person, it is hard not to feel invisible.How do others cope when they feel ignored.Any ideas and comments are welcome.?

Eagle Ray Managing boundaries with people - how do you do it?
  • replies: 2

One of the most anxiety-producing things for me is managing boundaries with people who push my boundaries and I often haven’t known how to handle this. Much of this links with not being taught healthy boundaries as a child. My mother taught me to tak... View more

One of the most anxiety-producing things for me is managing boundaries with people who push my boundaries and I often haven’t known how to handle this. Much of this links with not being taught healthy boundaries as a child. My mother taught me to take care of her but not really myself. So I grew up thinking it is my job to look after other people. Also, complex trauma issues often led me to appease others as a form of self-protection, thinking that if I help and support others they will be less likely to hurt me. Even now in my late 40s I still struggle to deal with boundaries with certain people. With some friends it is fine. These are friends who are quiet and gentle like me. We never impose on each other and there is a healthy absence of co-dependency. I’m finally learning to recognise the people who are likely to push my boundaries in ways that can be stressful. Sometimes these are needy people who are trying to find ways to get me to take care of them. Other times they are people with dominant personalities who want someone else to have control and influence over. I’m recognising these situations more quickly before they develop. But I still struggle at times managing these people. Both my strength and weakness is that I can see the other person’s vulnerability and I’m caring towards them, but that often leads to them forming an intense attachment to me that then becomes stressful. I find the person can then become quite resentful if you then try to put some distance with them. I’m dealing with someone now who is a bit challenging in this way. So I’m wondering, how do others handle people who put expectations on them to meet their needs? Have you found ways to politely but assertively and skilfully handle such people? My sense is a lot of it is energetic. For example, I think certain people sense that I’m kind and gentle and quickly latch on before I know it. I still want to be kind and gentle, but in a way that protects me and my interests as well. I think how I come across energetically can potentially make a difference. Not sure if that all makes sense? But just curious about other’s means of keeping a healthy boundary.

white knight Alone in a crowd
  • replies: 13

Hi, an old neighbour once said to me after I told her I felt disconnected from people- "well Tony, we are born alone and we die alone". Pretty solemn stuff. Of course some would argue parents mean we aren't alone but that's missing the point. Some of... View more

Hi, an old neighbour once said to me after I told her I felt disconnected from people- "well Tony, we are born alone and we die alone". Pretty solemn stuff. Of course some would argue parents mean we aren't alone but that's missing the point. Some of us can be in a crowd of what they call "like minded people" and still feel alone... why? The answer has plagued me a lot over the years. I have my theories. Humans are the highest intelligence on our planet and that means we are more in tune with the realities of death and survival. We therefore are more in tune with being alone and that feeling we are not accompanied by others. Unlike a lot of animals we look different to each other and we dont form "packs" as often. Modern man doesnt form pack that is, unlike the Indigenous of all continents did, the reason being that we have less need. If you have money you have all the fruits of human labour like food and shelter. We no longer need someone to help us hunt for bark for a roof nor strength to carry a moose back to camp. Same with queues at a concert- we all have tickets, we dont need the guy next to us for small talk nor his strength... but there is also what I see as automatic segregation. A.S can occur with differences in - age, appearance, religious clothing, over hearing talk amongst others and so forth. There's also perceived differences. People can "guess" they are not suited to engage in a conversation with another based on prejudgements. As a past security guard I've always had short hair and often am asked if I am or was a police member. Maybe that has caused young people to avoid me? I only ever had one best friend. We went to year 10 together then a gap while I was in the Air Force then we hooked up again and we shared nearly all feelings and experiences. Unfortunately he married and the addition of his wife in the mix kind of set me loose from his moorings. I never felt "alone" when we were close. Maybe that is what is missing in a crowd? A real close friend. Alas, I have my wife, I dont feel alone with her true. Even in strong marriages you can yearn for that close friend, maybe I'm thinking - mate? Do you feel "alone" in life? Amongst family? Is that feeling natural do you think? Are all those people in groups at a nightclub also feeling "alone" as they all clamber to get a word in? Doesnt look like it. What is your views on loneliness? TonyWK So, there is a lot of reasons to feel lonely in a crowd.

sashamentalhealth Self-care before caring for others
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, just thought i would post about what worked for me when caring for someone who is undergoing mental challenges. I took care of some of my loved ones when they were mentally struggling. I did not realise this took such a toll on me until ... View more

Hi everyone, just thought i would post about what worked for me when caring for someone who is undergoing mental challenges. I took care of some of my loved ones when they were mentally struggling. I did not realise this took such a toll on me until i found myself always feeling empty and overwhelmed. i felt guilty when i experienced these emotions as i felt like it was my duty to always be okay to help. i started ignoring the signs that i was also struggling and ignored self-care and self-prioritising for quite a while. this ended badly as i was suppressing my emotions to the point that i had a huge breakdown after a couple of months prioritising others over myself. i realised that i couldnt continue ignoring my own needs if i also wanted to help other people. i started to engage in at least 2 hours a day to do the things i loved like exercising or drawing, i ensured that i got enough sleep, and that i would also process my own emotions that involved emotions from my own problems as well as those stemming from trying to help other people. i know that its easier said than done to help yourself before you help others, but starting with something small like allocating a number of hours to check in on yourself goes a long way.

sashamentalhealth Release your emotions through exercising!
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone! Just thought that I would share my personal experience and what helped me to process my emotions and symptoms which i have found to be very effective for me. Of course everyone is different and what worked for me may not work for everyon... View more

Hi everyone! Just thought that I would share my personal experience and what helped me to process my emotions and symptoms which i have found to be very effective for me. Of course everyone is different and what worked for me may not work for everyone, but just thought that i would share in case anyone needs it! i have been boxing for 4 years now. i started to box due to the intense emotions that i was feeling and felt lost as to where i can release them. it started out as a simple way for me to get through the day but as i kept on going, i found it to be exceptionally helpful in managing intense emotions like anger. i also bonded with people and found a great community as an added bonus. The combination of being active, having a place to channel my emotions, and having a great support system really helped me for years which is why i continue doing it! i have also found that going to the gym and having a regular routine for it really helped me in being more active and getting things out of my head. it has been my coping mechanism for years now and has allowed me to feel better when i feel like things are getting out of hand. despite the success both exercises have given me, i still had days where i felt like everything was too much and this is completely okay! what matters is the effort you put in to engaging in self-care. i hope this was useful for anyone who might need it

serendipity22 Laughter Clubs are fun
  • replies: 5

A while back I contacted BB and suggested some members might enjoy participating in laughter sessions. They suggested I join the forums, so here I am. Laughter clubs were started in India in 1995 by Madan Katari, a medical doctor. They were designed ... View more

A while back I contacted BB and suggested some members might enjoy participating in laughter sessions. They suggested I join the forums, so here I am. Laughter clubs were started in India in 1995 by Madan Katari, a medical doctor. They were designed for health and well-being. Now there are thousands of clubs in hundreds of countries. I have been going for more than 20 years in Melbourne and now Adelaide. A typical session is about 30-40 minutes and is outdoor in a park or perhaps on a beach. Venues include shelter in case it rains. A session involves sunshine, fresh air, exercise, connection and even laughter. We don't do jokes. Instead, we act in a playful way. There are hundreds of different laughs to draw from, interspersed with chanting and clapping.Ho Ho, Ha Ha Ha, very good, very good, Yah! You could find nearby club locations by googling laughter yoga Australia. Some sessions use Zoom. Sessions are usually free or a gold coin donation. Afterwards some people have a chat or go to a coffee shop etc. I have made some great friendships at laughter club. Going may be a little daunting at first, but after about 2 sessions you get used to it. I read Julia Gillard said there is nothing better than a good belly laugh and she is right.

white knight Tolerating people
  • replies: 24

It is kind of selfish that subject heading but we do often worry about others tolerating us. If you guys ever want to avoid people then drive a bland car, dont take a dog with you and cross the street when others approach. Seriously, I dont do any of... View more

It is kind of selfish that subject heading but we do often worry about others tolerating us. If you guys ever want to avoid people then drive a bland car, dont take a dog with you and cross the street when others approach. Seriously, I dont do any of that, I drive an attractive vintage car and we tow our unique and also attractive homemade caravan. This, when on holidays means bees to honey. So whats my problem? Small talk. I dont drive our rig to get attention, we drive it because we love driving it and staying in our van. So trying to relax for an afternoon nap is nye impossible. Knock knock. Same questions..."Is it an MG"? "What engine's in it...does it tow alright?...a mate of mine has a....well I forget what it is but. .." So, Ive tried parking/camping in the most away position, put a car cover on but the shape you cant hide. Every second visitor rambles on for 20-45 minutes...same questions, same answers. I accept my bipolar tolerance/moods is the problem, no running away from that. But Ive run out of ideas and being an ideas man that doesnt sit right. Its also the case with meeting anyone that talks small talk. If a fellow talks engineering with engines or say aircraft development I'm glued with interest as I find it stimulating...I like learning. If however a he is talking about his grandchilds birthday party how he couldnt blow out all the candles...I'm itching to run away. My dear wife isnt a social creature preferring our own quiet company so its not like I've got her as a distraction for these chatterboxes. So self aware of this problem I have, when I approach someone about there own car or motorhome I only do so to ask specific questions and limit them to say 5-10 minutes. But that's the considerate Tony and that doesnt mean I'm better or more correct than others. Finally, some people use a talking point to actually tell you their life story. The last thing I'd do is be rude however, so I just fume inside. I just cant tolerate small talk for longer than a minute or two. Anyone else feel the same?. What do you do about it? I feel its a case of "been there done that". In my 61 years Ive jammed in 90 jobs and 15 professions. Etc etc Tony WK