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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. If you're interested - Beyond Blue also have a 'money and mental health' quiz to gauge a sense of how finances may be impacting your mental health and what to do next. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Jane363 Best word to describe today
  • replies: 845

Warmth the sunlight is warm on my back; people here are very warm, accepting and welcoming - far more so than many of my own friends and family - thank you so much, it has helped more than you will realise and has helped lead me to... and finally, my... View more

Warmth the sunlight is warm on my back; people here are very warm, accepting and welcoming - far more so than many of my own friends and family - thank you so much, it has helped more than you will realise and has helped lead me to... and finally, my self-attitude is warm and forgiving which is a huge change from the self hatred I have been pushing onto myself so much recently.

monkey_magic JUICING for mental health
  • replies: 131

Hi all I've recently bought a juicer and have been making fruit/veg juices and have noticed it making a difference to my mental health. I'm clearer, more energized and I just know I'm giving my body many health benefits by drinking pure extracted fru... View more

Hi all I've recently bought a juicer and have been making fruit/veg juices and have noticed it making a difference to my mental health. I'm clearer, more energized and I just know I'm giving my body many health benefits by drinking pure extracted fruits and vegetables. I thought I'd start this thread for us juicers or wannabe juicers to share juicing recipes. It's become my new "thing". 🥬🥦

-FromtheGong- Navigating the D & inability to make decisions
  • replies: 3

I’m a 53 year old man with younger kids (& adult kids) who has been battling depression for 30 years, or so.I am mostly well for decent periods, with medications & lifestyle choices helping. Unfortunately, I have been in a pretty deep & long episode ... View more

I’m a 53 year old man with younger kids (& adult kids) who has been battling depression for 30 years, or so.I am mostly well for decent periods, with medications & lifestyle choices helping. Unfortunately, I have been in a pretty deep & long episode of depression for 10 months. Initially I battled on, but eventually needed to take some time off work to recover. I took 6 weeks off, then changed jobs about 7 months ago.During my time off I ate healthy, exercised often, spent quality time with my family & began to feel a lift in mood. Unfortunately it didn’t last & I have been grinding away at life for the past few months. My job is unfulfilling with too much time to ruminate which doesn’t help my mood. ‘Or’ is my mood making the job unfulfilling? I know that taking time off again will help. To do all the things that helped last time, particularly having time to work on my physical health, which positively affects my mental health. Money, or lack thereof would be an issue needing to tighten our belts with the drop in income. I also feel that working part time & being the main carer for the kids would be helpful. Sounds like I have a plan yeah? Problem is I can’t make a decision in my current head space. Balancing what will work & what I want to do with what I feel is expected of me, or what men in my situation should do is paralysing. I’ve been agonising for the past few weeks but can’t make a decision. Has anyone experienced this? Made a decision or not? How did it go? Any responses would be appreciated.

Eagle Ray If you are a quiet person, how do you manage?
  • replies: 11

I have always been on the quiet and shy side. I know a lot of this has to do with complex trauma from the circumstances I grew up in. As I am currently working towards re-entering the workforce I'm trying to build my confidence. There is a job I woul... View more

I have always been on the quiet and shy side. I know a lot of this has to do with complex trauma from the circumstances I grew up in. As I am currently working towards re-entering the workforce I'm trying to build my confidence. There is a job I would love to apply for but it really requires a lot of extraversion, so although it greatly appeals to me in theory, in reality it would probably be very awkward for me trying to perform in that role. I'm interested how others with quiet natures navigate the world? What strategies help you, especially given that much of the world we live in is about promoting yourself and pushing yourself forward? I'm not competitive by nature and always enjoy being co-operative and caring over thinking competitively. I once heard someone describe himself as a social introvert. I could really relate to that because I love people yet I am basically shy and I need a fair bit of time on my own just to process and manage life. I find a lot of contact with others overstimulating, and yet I need and greatly value social contact as well. I am getting increasingly better at nurturing my inner child and that is really helping. However, I sometimes still feel very small and vulnerable in the world. While I am getting better at speaking up for myself and being assertive, I can still lose my voice at times and basically psychically curl up in a protective ball (safety mechanism learned in childhood). Do others feel this way? Can you identify things that have helped you?

jonjr Finding a state of self
  • replies: 3

Hi guys and ladies ... been a while. Im in a ok place right now. My journey is never easy and can snap at what seems like a blink. I cope with help from a fantastic team of understanding and at times over and above team of professionals. Im not going... View more

Hi guys and ladies ... been a while. Im in a ok place right now. My journey is never easy and can snap at what seems like a blink. I cope with help from a fantastic team of understanding and at times over and above team of professionals. Im not going through my illnesses again ( note the illnesses qoute ). My life can be fantastic but i accept it can allso be a complete nightmare. Recently i have managed to get off some of the prescription drugs ..... fantastic ..... the reality is that yes people like me need them but living on them has its own pitfalls. Of all i found some of the anxiety / depression pills the most difficult to kick. Will i ever be drug free.......? Doubtful...... are my team happy i stopped a few pills........ hmmmmmm doubtful. But after 25 years of increasing illness i know my own body and self worth and that can say more than any professional can prescribe. Dont get me wrong i wouldnt be here if it wasnt for those people and myself and my kids thank them from the bottom of our hearts..... so much i am dating one of my helpers.....My life will never be easy i know that, but right now its my choice to decide what my brain says. Its not easy to kick prescription drugs of any kind and if you need them dont ( from experience) but they are and make no mistake very powerful and damaging long term. I wish you all the best in your journey and please listen to your own needs when they shout out.

Guest_1055 Do you forgive?
  • replies: 70

Feeling hesitant about writing this and little scared of what people will think about me, a fear of being rejected I think. Well here goes. Just today I have been thinking about forgiveness, forgiving the people who hurt us, let us down, or bring us ... View more

Feeling hesitant about writing this and little scared of what people will think about me, a fear of being rejected I think. Well here goes. Just today I have been thinking about forgiveness, forgiving the people who hurt us, let us down, or bring us pain in any other way. And I think forgiving actually helps us. So what I aim to do, as a strategy to get rid of bitterness from within me is to: 1. Grap an apple or a potato from the kitchen. 2. I am off to see what I have got, yeah I have an apple that is going soft. 3. Write on the apple or whatever you have chosen " I forgive you" and draw a smiley face, that is what I did, and it is looking right back at me now. 4. Think of that person that has hurt you, and say I forgive you....... for hurting me. 5. And then I will go to the ocean, because I live near there. Walk down to the waves, and use all my physical strength and throw the apple as far as a can. "Just let in go" Note: If anyone tries this strategy from beyond blue, and I come across an apple on the beach. I will toss it back in for you. Not sure of the outcome of this strategy yet, but I will keep you posted if you would like. Also if you are not near an ocean, maybe you could choose a paddock. OK going to post this now, still scared of what people will think of me."Rejection"

Names_Bo Too nurse for religion, too religious for nursing
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am an emergency nurse and a Christian. My religious friends don't seem to understand the struggles and experiences of being an ED nurse, yet none of my colleagues seem to be religious. Does anyone have any advice on how to connect or belong to ... View more

Hi, I am an emergency nurse and a Christian. My religious friends don't seem to understand the struggles and experiences of being an ED nurse, yet none of my colleagues seem to be religious. Does anyone have any advice on how to connect or belong to either/both groups? I like my job, but I am struggling a lot emotionally lately with being able to connect and feel useful for either group.

white knight Are you good enough? low self esteem
  • replies: 13

It's common to have over critical parents that get the balance of praise and criticism wrong. It results in often permanent damage to our mental health and an adult life of deflatedness leading to low chance of finding and maintaining a partner as we... View more

It's common to have over critical parents that get the balance of praise and criticism wrong. It results in often permanent damage to our mental health and an adult life of deflatedness leading to low chance of finding and maintaining a partner as well as happiness is elusive. Low self esteem effects every part of our being with everyone. Our partners often pay the price for our condition because all their eagerness to bring you up to speed where contentment permanently remains, they find their partner drop down again and again. Some years ago I had a serious evaluation of this situation I found myself in. I concluded- yes I knew the source- my mothers excess dominance and criticism even as an adult- her yelling when low voice command would have sufficed and her stubbornness to attend to her own mental health issues (suspected BPD). The question then became- what is the action/s I can take to ensure I have a happier life and patch up the damage? I continued professional appointments but I knew the major change had to come from within. As with the thread "the best praise you'll ever get" I kept patting myself on the back for being simply a good person. Do that often enough and it sinks in and the removal of the culprit in my life a personal choice Sometimes we have to rise above the wrongs being done to us to be where we deserve to be. That then leads to "I am a good person, I'm good enough, I was dealt poor parenting and I've now accepted that it is part of life.. a poor hand dealt. Easier said than done of course, but you have to find that direction in order to achieve. The alternative is to suffer in silence and do nothing. As the saying goes "evil flourishes when good people do nothing". Evil being poor learning behaviours carried on to the next generation combined with lack of praise. Constantly over correcting a dog will see its tail between its legs and timid forever, praise it regularly and it loves life but obeys Low self esteem is not your fault, it can be repaired through persistence and belief in yourself, acceptance that you were mistreated. Parents might say like "I was a bit hard on you" or "I shouldn't have treated you that way" and you can choose to forgive. But without remorse forgiveness is less reachable either way you were always good enough... TonyWK

white knight The best praise you'll ever get
  • replies: 16

Imagine, you are standing in front of two lines of people and you run between them. They pat your back and sing your praises..."good on your".."congratulations"..."well done". And the line goes for about 50 metres. At the end of it you turn around an... View more

Imagine, you are standing in front of two lines of people and you run between them. They pat your back and sing your praises..."good on your".."congratulations"..."well done". And the line goes for about 50 metres. At the end of it you turn around and you see in their eyes how proud they all are of you. You take a deep breath. "Made it" you mumble. For this is likely the ultimate joy of praise. Then there is the opposite- Humility. To do deeds with the full intent of NOT seeking praise. If you have low self esteem you are likely to enjoy praise to lift your mood and endeavours. And I think those reading these posts are more likely to have low self esteem than not. The problem with praise is, 1/ others have to notice your good deeds before you'll even look like you'll get any 2/ what if others are not around to see it 3/ some people will never praise anyone. I like praise. I like being accepted. I seek to be accepted. In fact if I don't get a lot of good vibes from a visitor I say to my wife later "I don't think she likes me". Such is the result of very low self esteem and a BPD mother that I could never please as a child or adult. I accept that. I've moved on. But the fallout stays. Over recent years I've come to realise my short term memory is failing. So I've resorted to the idea of talking aloud to myself. "Tea, pies, sugar and soap". If said aloud I'll have a better chance of remembering those grocery items. Then it occurred to me to say out loud the praise I would like from others- to myself. Now, this was quite amusing to my good neighbour when he heard "well done Tony, you good man you, make sure you dig that garden like that next time...what a man". I had to assure my neighbour all was well...that it was an experiment I was doing... Sometimes in life we cant rely on other people to help us. We are born alone and we will die alone. In between we depend on others for a lot of things. With mental illness we depend a lot more. Self praise is one thing we can try to do alone. And with proper technique and consistency we will succeed in at least feeling better and growing our confidence. Just be wary of your neighbours...... Tony WK

Missy580 Binge eating out of control
  • replies: 4

Hi friends, I need some help. Previously I have been very restrictive with my eating by eating healthy and having small meals. I managed to loose a lot of weight through intense exercise and healthy eating. I felt amazing, more alive than ever. Now s... View more

Hi friends, I need some help. Previously I have been very restrictive with my eating by eating healthy and having small meals. I managed to loose a lot of weight through intense exercise and healthy eating. I felt amazing, more alive than ever. Now since starting full time work my whole routine has changed. My eating is out of control, I’m constantly thinking about food & eating throughout the day. Iam eating until I’m so full my tummy hurts and sometimes struggle to breathe as I’m eating so fast the food doesn’t have time to pass through my throat. I cannot stop. I know it’s so bad for me, I don’t have any control anymore. I’m constantly setting up myself up for a good day with healthy food and good intentions but it all goes out the window. It’s never ending. I don’t feel like myself anymore, I’m feeling more and more down each day. It’s affecting me to the point that I don’t even want to leave the house as I feel so yuck with myself. What do I do? How do I get over this horror?