Difficulty processing my emotions

[patelaa]

Hi everyone.

Lately I've been in a lot of stress, more than I'm comfortable with, and I noticed that I have been struggling to identify and express my emotions well. Recently I've been frequently overwhelmed, and when I do feel that way, I just can't help but cry without really knowing why. I feel as if I am not able to process how the things happening around me impact my mood. I am sort of used to ignoring it a little. I feel 'flat' throughout the day and my mind is always occupied with a list of things I need to do, similar to a robot in a way. When I have these little mental blocks or emotional breakdowns, I dislike how it affects my ability to focus in class, finish up homework, do creative work, and take proper rests. I try to not neglect my emotions but at the same time I'm not good at dealing with them when they show up.

I do have a history of MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and I've been thinking maybe that has some if not any impact?

Let me know if anyone can relate or have any comments/suggestions to help.

Thanks in advance and have a great day 🙂

[mmMekitty]

Welcome Patelaa

you've got a full platter, leaving no space for you to relax, unwind & simply be with yourself.

Depression has a way of feeling both overwhelming & keeping you numb to your feelings. It's good to see you are open to your emotions & willing to look at them.

Doing creative things such as painting, writing, dance, music, acting, sculpture, - whatever - there are many options. 

What sort of creative things are you doing now?

For me, because my thoughts were often verbal, writing seemed most natural. I still struggled naming emotions I was feeling. I also had some images pop up in my mind that helped a lot. Sometimes I could try to paint those images. Some were simply too technically difficult for me. Even in describing the images I found a way to get at what I was feeling more easily. It helped to also have someone I could talk to about what was going on in my head. That was a Psychiatrist I went to see back in 1993.

While I was feeling overwhelmed by my inner turmoil, talking to him helped to sift through the confusion & focus on small pieces instead. 

Writing & painting alone, I only had myself for feedback, which meant I could only respond with what I already knew, keeping me stuck. He offered other perspectives, which moved me forward.

For various reasons I continue with a psychiatrist today. Things don't seem near as desperate & overwhelming as once they had. As time goes by, I cope better.

You mention your own depression. May I ask if you are seeing a therapist, who you could talk to about these emotions of yours?

One of the best things I learned was to not judge what we feel as 'good' or 'bad'. A passing thought does not have to mean anything. Likewise, emotions are simply emotions. They are part of being humans.

Things in our heads can spin out of control when we add blame, shame, guilt, or even labelling an emotion as 'useless', or feeling this or that way is a 'helples' or 'hopeless' way to feel. If you can catch yourself thinking along these lines, & say, "stop", aloud if you like; take a deep breath; pause in this moment & let it go.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself a little cuddle, Reassure yourself: this is a moment, a feeling, nothing more. You can ask yourself, "Is this anger?", "Is this fear?", "Is this pain?" ...

You might like to write a Feelings Checklist to name the feelings.

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Bob_22]

Hi patelaa,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for posting. I think I can relate to how you feel. Similar to you, sometimes I feel flat and frequently overwhelmed especially when I'm burnt out. Could this be a possibility that you are burnt out with perhaps work, school or emotionally burnt out from something else? I know with MDD, you become a lot more susceptible to stress and burn out also. Regardless, if possible it might be worth taking some time to unwind and relax. Perhaps check in with your GP to update them on how you're travelling. Let me know what you think. 🙂

Bob

[Yellow Hope]

Hey patelaa,

Thank you for such an open and honest post. I can definitely relate to feeling overwhelmed by emotions, and especially to having a mind occupied by a 'to-do list'. A big work-on for me is self-love and trying to not be too hard on myself so you're not alone in feeling stressed with these things. 

Although it is an ongoing journey for me, I find that keeping lists and writing my thoughts down helps to unload my mind. This includes things like writing down what I need to remember, what I need to do, what my thoughts are on things from the day etc. It helps me unload my emotions and thoughts which clears my head a bit and gives my mind a sense of freedom and rest. Trello is a digital platform that I use to do this. It's free and is so effective for me! It may also help with scheduling, homework, and tracking your creative projects. 

Bob_22 made a really helpful suggestion of taking time to unwind too. What are some things that you find relaxing? Have you tried meditation before? There are lots of online meditation guides to help with this process 🙂 I personally find that exercise is great for my mental health - even if it's a small walk around my neighbourhood. 

I hope this helps and I hope you're proud of yourself for recognising your discomfort with the stress you're experiencing. This is a great first step! 

Much love x