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Sophie_M Sleep and Mental Health
  • replies: 0

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remem... View more

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remember things, regulate our emotions, or to feel excited and energised… it can change the way we think and feel in such a significant and impactful way. Whether it’s due to big life changes, global pandemics, financial or work stressors, health concerns (like menopause), how much ‘you’ time you have, or even unprocessed emotions you weren’t aware were there – so many things can impact how you sleep. All of this goes to show that not only do your daily habits, routines, and experiences play a huge role in maintaining healthy sleep cycles, but so does your mental health. And frustratingly enough, your sleep also impacts and informs your mental health and daily habits. Like most things, it’s a very easy cycle to fall into. So, it’s imperative that we are gentle and compassionate with ourselves on our journey to understanding what is making us so hypervigilant and unable to rest in the first place. Studies show that journaling or mindfulness practices throughout the day, healthy food, movement, sunshine, connection with loved ones, and support from health professionals can help us to feel more grounded and able to rest. But we are curious… what has worked for you? When do you notice that your sleep is most affected vs. when you get the best rest? And is there a way you could practice regulating your nervous system more throughout the day to help promote better sleep at night? We would love to hear your thoughts! Let us know if you have any questions and be sure to check out our page on ‘Sleep and Mental Health’ for more guidance and insight into a more supported and restful night’s sleep: Sleep and mental health - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue Looking forward to hearing from you! Kind regards, Sophie M

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Joe_Roberts Quitting Smoking
  • replies: 3

I'm not saying this will work for you, but it worked for me. I smoked up to fifty cigarettes a day for thirty odd years. I wanted to quit, but the problem in my honest opinion was everyone said it was so hard to quit. You had to use nicotine patches,... View more

I'm not saying this will work for you, but it worked for me. I smoked up to fifty cigarettes a day for thirty odd years. I wanted to quit, but the problem in my honest opinion was everyone said it was so hard to quit. You had to use nicotine patches, chew nicotine gum, or get a prescription. None of these things appealed to me. Nicotine Replacement Therapy? How's that supposed to work? If I told you I drank two bottles of hard spirits a day, would you tell me to cut down my drinking by switching to beer? I might even try that, if you supplied the beer ... The problem arises when addiction is viewed as a disease. It isn't. Addiction is a matter of choice. All right, it's a series of bad choices if you like, but choice still isn't disease. OK, in my case, I had, for reasons best known to myself, chosen to pay a tobacco company to kill me. As long as that remained my choice, there wasn't much outside of death that would make me quit smoking. When that was no longer my choice, if I remember rightly, I simply shoved my cigarettes in a cupboard. They are still there. Why? Basically, "Waste not, want not!" If I'm out somewhere and I think to myself, "I'll have to go buy a packet of smokes," another thought occurs to me, and that's this, "Don't be stupid, you've got a packet sitting in a cupboard!" That's true, and it's also true I could smoke the bloody lot right now if I wanted, but it's not how I would feel before I smoked any of them, it's how I'd feel afterwards! Regards, Joe

The_Real_David_Charles Positive Role Models - do they help ?
  • replies: 5

That old thing where a depressed or otherwise mental health sufferer is told to "look at" how someone more positive and successful lives (despite having similar health problems) by way of being a Postive Role Model. Does it really inspire or help ? A... View more

That old thing where a depressed or otherwise mental health sufferer is told to "look at" how someone more positive and successful lives (despite having similar health problems) by way of being a Postive Role Model. Does it really inspire or help ? A quick example might help: there's a Christian type person who has proven that adversities need not prevent a limitless life. His name is Nick Vujicic. He's a quadraplegic. And he loves life so much he inspires. All with a dash of hope, confidence, courage, etc. Does all this "sharing" of a great attitude and the various publications handling topics like faith, personal crisis, relationships, job challenges, anger, finding balance and,of course, the one we had to have - the power of the dream - really embrace others, like us, that suffer discomfort, diagnosis and depressive "choices" ? 'Cos sometimes, such positivity, is a bit much. We recoil from the light. Hoping for some discussion - maybe past the no. 1's and no. 2's, so to speak. Adios, David. PS Dear Damien, Maybe it was the loaves and fishes story that started response quota analysis ? Just saying. Even the 10 Commandments seems a tad pre-empting of the metric system some 2,000 years later. Just keeping on the faith / religious theme as I bid you all adieu.

Viamoonlight New Beginnings/Direction
  • replies: 2

For many years I wouldn't accept help, always knew that I needed help but couldn't accept it as I had thought myself unworthy of help. For many years and even still I think of myself the way my parents did, useless waste of space and good for nothing... View more

For many years I wouldn't accept help, always knew that I needed help but couldn't accept it as I had thought myself unworthy of help. For many years and even still I think of myself the way my parents did, useless waste of space and good for nothing. Over the years doctors and acute teams have given many theories on what was wrong with me. I was never all that open with them out of fear of being looked down on and locked up in a clinic never to leave it again. However last year, I had done the most stupid thing and tried harming myself as I thought the world would be better off without me. Now of course I know better, I have three beautiful children that are not better off without me I needed to remove the bad influences from our lives not myself. I have finally opened up with my doctors this year, the first time I told them that my life is one dream after another and that I don't always know which is real or not I was so scared of what was going to happen from there but in the end, nothing bad happened... They wanted to hear more about it. I told them how I often have dreams where I am someone else, usually a child/teenager and in those dreams life is amazingly beautiful, they have issues pop up in those dreams but they are solved and moved on from very easily, plus many more different types. Since then I have been getting help and labelled to have disassociation/derealisation with avoidance issues, anxiety and depression. The depression part I can't understand and often say to my doctors that I can't be depressed I feel nothing at all neither sad or happy, slight variations but neither in any great difference. The doctor says that it stems from depression so its there I just don't notice it because I've blocked out all the pain. There is a lot of my life I just have no memory of at all, I do not know what makes my body mimic panic attacks for going to the shopping centre or things like answering the phone... To me it feels like I'm afraid of everything for no reason at all. My psychologist is trying to prompt repressed memories at the moment so that I can find my safety zone and make it surround me instead of surround the walls of my house and locks on my doors. They have discovered that I have been 'hiding' (lack of a better word) since before I started school. Where even as a very young child I would hide in my cupboard to play. I've never had any friends, I've had lots of people that love to be around me and want me around in recent years but nobody I could call a friend and often I find that people are not around for very long and I can never remember why they left. My body and my mind to me are on different plains... I can have a wonderful week without any problems within my life or my children and yet my mind can be in a totally different place. I will do things without remembering doing them, I find myself suddenly in a different area of my house or when driving the car I won't remember having driven all the way home just suddenly in the driveway. My doctors say it is going to take a long time and not to expect too much from myself, which is hard sometimes since I don't remember what causes the fear it doesn't make sense why I have fear but its ok understanding will come with therapy. With therapy, I have finally at the age of 40 told my father that I will not accept his abuse anymore. Of course his response was that I'm out of the will, to which I said, people are more important than items only you care about that so I was uninvited from his funeral -shrugs- but I've stood strong and still I'm telling him that I have a right to say no to abuse. Although standing up and saying that has brought on several nightmares about him, I am still proud of myself. Not just for myself, but by doing so I have also shown my children they have the right to say no too and my 16 year old daughter told him no more as well However, I figure that since there are labels for it there must be others out there that know what its like or support groups or something somewhere This might be only the start of a very long road... but by not hiding from my doctors any more we are headed towards new beginnings and although I'm concerned about having to face those fears and feeling something I don't want to experience I know the benefit is going to extend through to my children. So to new beginnings and directions... One day my body won't be a puppet on strings and I will reach the goal my kids have set for me and that is to take them on a train ride

Overflow My story as a carer
  • replies: 2

I am a 37 year old mother of 5 girls, a carer to my husband who has PTSD and my aging parents who both along with other aging medical conditions suffer with depression and we all live under 1 roof! I am also at university studying a bachelor of busin... View more

I am a 37 year old mother of 5 girls, a carer to my husband who has PTSD and my aging parents who both along with other aging medical conditions suffer with depression and we all live under 1 roof! I am also at university studying a bachelor of business part-time maintaining a distinction grade average. On a day to day basis, I deal with my ex and his partner, my husbands ex and her partner and the calendar events of our 8 yours mine and ours children as well as medical appointments and the normal day to day of caring for others. You could say my life is hectic, and true other people seem to always comment on how busy I must be, and how hard it must be. I do not see it that way, truth be told it is my blessing and my curse. It is my blessing because I can give back to my parents for all the time they have given to me, I can watch them live out the rest of their years in the comfort of our family home surrounded each day by their grand children, while being cared for by someone who loves them and who is willing to make their golden years, well, golden. However it is also my curse, because there I pretty much have to make an appointment with myself to get sick or to take a day off. Truthfully sometimes I feel very overwhelmed and resentful. I realize that I have put myself in this situation, I also realize that circumstances have compounded my situation, and I understand that I could give up uni, and place my parents in care, and that it would be easy. But I cant do that. I love giving able to give back, my family is everything to me. What I did not appreciate was the local mental health team who told me I was depressed (without talking to me), that i needed to go on medication and that docs would have to come and assess the situation as no one is capable of doing what I do. I manage, at times it is more difficult than others, some weeks are a breeze, and others well not so good, but we all have times like that. That is called life! I understand that as a carer depression can be a real issue, however, I have yet to find a service that will help me in my unique situation to prevent the from happening. So without that safety net, I still manage on my own. I take each day as it comes, and I utilize the tools that I do have and can access to keep me in the best mental shape I can. That is one of the reasons that I went back to uni, to give me something totally outside my day to day roles to do, to keep my mind active, and to socailise in circles outside of my daily routine - also the fact that the internet and computers have made uni available to me at home! After I separated from my first husband I had major depression, like all divorces it was not pleasant, we required a police presence just to be in the same room. I sought help, I learnt to recognize when things were starting to go south, and I learnt to get help as soon as I could, this brings me back to the local mental health team who decided that I just needed to be medicated again and everything would be hunky dory. Well, I refused the medication, they called docs (docs saw no problems, our house is clean, everyone is well fed and everything is properly maintained and in order). I took the family on a cruise, where we could all have a holiday in the same place so I could keep an eye on everyone, but we could be separate at the same time! And it worked a treat! I got the time i needed to recharge and recuperate, and my family was all taken care of. The choice to take on my family members in the caring role was an easy one, I am a trained personal carer, and at work I was used to caring for 8 high dependent residents at one time, so it was easy to apply those principles to my home life. It was also easy to remove my emotions from my day to day caring role, by not taking things too much to heart and to not let daily challenges drag me down.

reason_22nd Recovery and quitting medication.
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I have recently quit medication. I was on the meds for a little less than 6 years. It was for an acute psychotic episode, then a relapse a year later. I have made a full recovery and haven't had any relapses in almost 5 years. When I was real... View more

Hi all, I have recently quit medication. I was on the meds for a little less than 6 years. It was for an acute psychotic episode, then a relapse a year later. I have made a full recovery and haven't had any relapses in almost 5 years. When I was really struggling back in '08, I had to go to a mental health hospital. Being in there, for 6 weeks, I realised that I never wanted to return to that place. So I did something about my sitch. I started exercising, eating well. I even got through an apprenticeship, and now still work fulltime. I must say that the medication helped, but it was really the self drive that helped me. Since all then I have been learning a language twice a week at nights, riding my bicycle to work and married the most important girl, who stood by me when I started getting paranoid ideas. I just wanted to mention the pyschotic episodes were not drug related, they were brought on by daily pressures compunded by a health scare. When I had the relapse, I also was battling Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I must say having a good insight, having a great shrink (psychiatrist), a feeling of worth ( a job) and good people near was how I quit medication and have been going up ever since. Thank you for reading. If anyone needs some help I will do my best to offer some advice. Peace.

Miss_Kitty We all hurt
  • replies: 2

I'm new here and have spent some time reading many of the entries before deciding to join. Although each person and their story is unique, it struck me just how many things we all share in common. How much pain we are in, how lonely we are, how isola... View more

I'm new here and have spent some time reading many of the entries before deciding to join. Although each person and their story is unique, it struck me just how many things we all share in common. How much pain we are in, how lonely we are, how isolated we can become, how fearful we are of both the past, present, and future. Some of us have just climbed aboard the Nuttyville Express stopping all stations and some of us have been hopping on and off the train for years. Some people never leave the train at all. Because we keep our head down and don't look around (even at the beautiful view outside the window) it takes a while to realise that the train is packed with fellow travelers who are suffering in silence too. It is only when a connection is made that we realise that the misery, the anger, the hoplessness, the despair, and the pain is something that we all have in common. We all search for answers; a reason for why we are the way we are, a definative explanation to explain the $64,000 mental illness question: why? Genetics? Rotten Mother/or Father? Brain Rot? Faulty Brain Chemistry? Unhappy Childhood?, Domestic Violence?, Not Breastfed? I think we spend years of our lives trying to work out why. We go to counseling and pyschiatrists and we take pills, more pills, different pills, until we literally rattle in the hopes of poisoning that wretched monkey who has climbed on our back and is determined to hang on no matter how hard we try to throw him off. As time goes on that monkey gets so fat from feeding on our soul that one slip and we're crushed flat as a pancake. Or snap a hip. The monkey enjoys the train ride immensly and shares tips with all his fellow monkeys on how to maintain a firm grip at all times. Throwing garbage around in the carriage to see what sticks is an added bonus. He's having a wonderful time and never wants the fun to end. But like all good things it does eventually end - sometimes he slinks off to the monkey only carriage and pouts and broods - sometimes he is escorted off the train by the pharmaceutical guards and sometimes he is thrown from the moving train only to be run over by an anxiety (or manic) train going in the opposite direction. But he doesn't go down without a fight. He knows your weaknesses; he knows your triggers. But then something happens. You start to recognize (after many train trips) the obvious signs that the monkey has packed a bag for the trip to Nuttyville and has his train ticket ready. You spoil everything by refusing to go along no matter how loud he screeches or how much he jumps up and down. You know how he operates and while you fear that you haven't seen the last of him, you now have a better understanding of how to battle him if he does decide to pay you a visit. Eternal vigilence! is what you must practice because monkeys are sneaky - they can climb stealthily and carefully onto your back and suggest in a soft, caring tone that a train trip to a nice place called Nuttyville might be helpful. Before you can say 'but I hate trains' your off the train and wandering around bewildered and frightened at the chaos around you. Nothing makes sense, when you speak to other people they either don't understand what you are saying or ignore you. You shout, you cry, you beg for help but everyone seems to be caught up in their own lives, their own problems. Then you notice a shop that has a large friendly sign saying 'Don't Panic' Help Available. You peer through the windows and see people with caring expressions on their faces talking with the walking wounded. Some were silent and some were crying but what struck you the most was that the people with the caring faces were really listening to those in pain. Someone sees you and smiles, waving you to come in. You have taken the first step; always the most difficult. You cry out your pain and they gently tell you what must be done before you can finally go home. You try, you fail, you try again, you go down to the train tracks wandering if the pain will stop. You realize that you don't really want to die, you just want the pain to stop. You go back and try again and gradually you begin to reclaim your life. You accept that the monkey may never leave completely. You accept that like a diabetic who must take insulin, you may need to take those pills to function properly. You suddenly understand that a lot of those negative things you have been thinking and feeling don't seem to be as real or as important as they once were. It was that sneaky freakin monkey whispering all that garbage into your ear the whole time. You shake your head trying to work out how you fell for such a cruel trick. It took pills and help to kick the monkey through the goal posts. The crowd goes wild and you raise your arms in a sign of victory knowing that you may have to kick a few more goals before you either win or draw, but you have a smile on your face and hope for the future. You see the Nuttyville train pass by and you give a cheery wave and blow a rasberry at all the pouting, sullen monkeys. They try to throw garbage at you but then realize that the windows have been nailed shut. The sneaky Pharmaceutical Guards giggle and snigger. I'm 53, diagnosed with chronic depression in '98, and am currently going through my 2nd episode in 12 months (or maybe its the same episode? Bad Monkey!). My doctor has increased my medication and at the moment I feel dead inside. The monkey and I are having a Matrix-style fight in the train station but I know, like Neo, that I'm gonna throw that sneaky SOB under the first train that pulls in. Maybe there is no acceptable answer to why - maybe if we just accept that our illness is part of who we are and that it needs to be treated instead of trying to 'cure' it or pretend it doesn't exist we might find a measure of peace and the the ability to see past it when it strikes. Or maybe we just need mental Angry Birds with a passion for destroying monkeys instead of pigs...

Gav Who am I? I am me.
  • replies: 0

Hey Friends, My name is Gav and I'm currently recovering from depression and manage living with a Health Anxiety. I say currently because I know I will beat this as I have before. The latest depression was caused (I'm pretty sure) on New Year’s Day w... View more

Hey Friends, My name is Gav and I'm currently recovering from depression and manage living with a Health Anxiety. I say currently because I know I will beat this as I have before. The latest depression was caused (I'm pretty sure) on New Year’s Day when I found a deceased person behind my work (sorry if this causes anyone anxiety) and I pretty much shook it off as I wanted to make sure my staff were OK and they had access to work counseling if needed. What I didn't do was get support for myself. Through the months my mood got worse, found no pleasures in anything and the another common symptoms of depression. Just jumping back a bit, my Anxiety goes back about 13 years and I have been hospitalised a few times, gone through a gazillion Dr’s, psych’s and other health professionals. This didn’t need to happen like this but I was not accepting what I was being told and was uninformed about what was really happening. Not accepting the support didn’t do well for me and found myself doing self-harm, wanting to sit in a corner afraid of some physical health issue that wasn’t there but going to kill me anyway, and wanting to just die to end the mental suffering. A very strange paradox indeed Now is a lot different. I seek and accept support from health professional, family and friends, I’ve done a lot of self study on mental health (the science behind it) which I share and discuss with my psychologist and others. Being proactive, taking those hard steps and being honest is allowing my inner light to slowly get brighter (I can live with slow because that’s how it is). Sure there will be times I may take a step back but accepting this as not a personal failure makes the forward steps so much easier to do. I don’t really have any point about sharing my shortened story (*shakes fist at 500 word limit*) except a few vital tips I’ve learned: 1. Never be afraid to seek support. You are not, or ever will be a burden to anyone and no-one will judge you for doing so. 2. Know there are people out there going through similar things so you are not alone on this planet us much as it feels like you are. I hope I can contribute on the forums based on personal experiences of my own and people I have met. I enjoy putting smiles on faces and just listening if that’s all that’s needed. Take care, Gav p.s. only 429 words ... I win!

integrityguy Maybe I can offer some hope...
  • replies: 2

Hello fellow anxiety sufferers. I've been reading through your forum posts. A lot sounds familiar, especially the way the mind and body react to certain situations. I've suffered from anxiety for most of my life, but I've only recently realised that ... View more

Hello fellow anxiety sufferers. I've been reading through your forum posts. A lot sounds familiar, especially the way the mind and body react to certain situations. I've suffered from anxiety for most of my life, but I've only recently realised that it hits me the hardest when I go through a major life change or upheaval ... and especially with relationships (or potential relationships). My first major anxiety attack probably happened when I was 12 - starting high school. It was the same school, but different class structures, higher expectations and different teachers. I felt left behind and overwhelemed. The same thing happened during my first week of university, and I was put on anti-depressants by my GP. In my early 20s I would go on to see several counsellors, 2 psychiatrists, a couple of social workers and several mental health nurses. I ended up in a mental health ward for a week. In my early 20s, I dated a girl who was suffering from chronic fatigue and was also a victim of sexual abuse. I wanted so much to take care of her and bear her burdens that I ended up becoming overwhelmed myself. (Cue anxiety). The relationship lasted 6 days. I spent most of my time obssessing over the fact that I was powerless to change her situation. Even after we broke up, I wanted so desperately to fix her - to erase the pain in her past and present, to make her better. Of course I couldn't, and the more I tried, the more pressure I put on myself and the more anxious I became. Over the next decade or so, I put a relationship at the top of my "life agenda". The only way I saw myself as moving forward in life and being happy was to find a girlfriend who would eventually (all things going well) become my wife. This led to a false belief that a relationship is essential to happiness. I "tested the waters" with several girls that came along, never getting very far. I tried dating websites and a dating agency, I agonised to my family and close friends over my "bad luck. I waited...and waited...for a girl to take an interest in me. I watched all my friends settle into relationships, get married and start having kids. I saw myself as falling behind and I hated myself because of it. Last year I was almost 31 and still desperately wanted a life partner. I started emailing a girl I met the year before who lived in another state and had a mutual friend. We exchanged messages for about 3 months. Between each message, there were bursts of anxiety and so many questions - is she interested? Is she just humouring me? Am I wasting my time? Is this going anywhere? Am I making mistakes? Eventually the questions became too much for me and I flat out asked her if there was a chance of a relationship. A few days passed, and she told me ... no. I struggled, but I moved on. A few months later I started messaging a girl on a dating website - she also lived out of town (but a bit closer). Things started getting a bit more serious, and the anxiety levels, once again, hit the roof. I began planning out our future together in my head. I met up with her in person - twice. However every time we planned to meet, I would have a panic attack and my mind would go into overdrive. Eventually I asked if we could discuss our future, and she avoided the question. I broke things off a few weeks later. Fast forward to today ... I have just started dating a girl I met earlier this year. The anxiety is still there and it threatens to overwhelm me sometimes. But I've explained as best I can to her, without trying to scare her off, that my anxiety is caused by my reaction to situations and I have strategies to manage it. I have now reached a compromise with myself - a relationship adds to happiness, but is not (and should not become) the source of ALL happiness in my life. I have so many reasons to be happy - supportive friends and family, a steady job and good income and an amazing church community. A girlfriend is just one more reason to be happy. So as my long-winded narrative winds down, I want to share some of my thoughts about anxiety management: *(1)* I accept anxiety as a part of me. I will never be free of it, but that doesn't mean I can't keep it in check. I cannot deny its existence (it will always be there) or demand that it be gone (that's not going to happen). *(2)* I look at anxiety as a false signal - something which is caused by irrational beliefs I've developed over time. With time and experience I am wrenching those beliefs out from the depths of my mind, exposing them for what they are and breaking them down slowly. They are stubborn, but I am persistent and I am stronger. *(3)* Every time life throws me major anxiety, I will always try to look at it as an experience to grow, to arm myself with new weapons to fight it and keep it under control. I wish everyone peace of mind and courage to overcome whatever obstacles anxiety throws at you.

SOD SEEKING OPINIONS ABOUT "LEARNED BEHAVIOUR " DOES IT EXIST ?
  • replies: 13

While i've been looking for answers to my life time living with depression, behavior issues, addictions, over all not fitting in to this world , i've been told by some mental health professionals, that LEARNED BEHAVIOR ,maybe a issue with me. I under... View more

While i've been looking for answers to my life time living with depression, behavior issues, addictions, over all not fitting in to this world , i've been told by some mental health professionals, that LEARNED BEHAVIOR ,maybe a issue with me. I understand the theory of what i've been told, but i'm unsure if it exists, or if there is any truth in this ? any information would be greatly appreciated . CHOW.

meaghanperris Forgiveness
  • replies: 3

Forgiveness is not about condoning another’s hurtful actions, it is about releasing your negative emotions and perceptions about the painful events. Otherwise you keep yourself chained to those events or people - you keep it alive within you - and yo... View more

Forgiveness is not about condoning another’s hurtful actions, it is about releasing your negative emotions and perceptions about the painful events. Otherwise you keep yourself chained to those events or people - you keep it alive within you - and you carry it with you where-ever you go. It is a very heavy burden to carry around and you end up crippling yourself emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. Holding on to anger, resentment, etc. keeps you in ‘victim’ mode - powerless. It means you are letting those people who have hurt you in the past dictate who you are in the present moment. You can take your power back by releasing these negative emotions and no longer let them hold sway over your thoughts, feelings and actions. Only you are responsible for what you do, think and feel. You can choose to hold on to painful events, like a weight around your neck, or you can choose to remove that burden by releasing it (giving it no more emotional energy and therefore power) and living a happier life despite past circumstances. In other words… let the past be in the past, and live in the now moment. You can’t change what happened in the past, but you have choice over how you live now.