I'm writing this as I find putting down my thoughts helps me. Over the
last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly angry with my
dealings with people and situations where I now want to withdraw from
the world. I'm a retired customer serv...
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I'm writing this as I find putting down my thoughts helps me. Over the
last few years I have found myself becoming increasingly angry with my
dealings with people and situations where I now want to withdraw from
the world. I'm a retired customer service representative who was used to
dealing with a variety of people, mainly good clients, yet the bad ones
and the nature of the job (in health) burnt me out. The management also
gave very new staff extra roles, which were at the same pay rate, over
longer term capable staff, with us having to advocate strongly to
increase our knowledge, but we were inexplicably met with resistance. I
kept telling myself not to worry about it, just do my job, yet it really
got to me. The centre had a very high turnover, some staying 3 months to
a year. Some staff "disappeared" and some received thanks for their
service. I lasted 2 and a half years. After a family double death of
elderly in-laws and then me having an epileptic episode of the amnesia
kind, I felt that I couldn't continue in the job, so I resigned. Rightly
or wrongly, I felt very hard done-by by management, and for months
before leaving I had nightly nightmares. I was one of the "disappeared"
as when I emailed a colleague to say goodbye, she was shocked to learn
that I'd left. Being on epilepsy medication, I don't know if it caused
issues or if it was my thinking, or a combination of both. An earlier
medication that the doctor said may make me feel grumpy, made me feel
'wonky' and when someone upset me, I became so angry. Luckily, I didn't
show this in the workplace? After leaving the job, it took me months to
get over my anger. During the last two years, my husband and I have had
issues with two neighbours that I previously wrote about. One, being
alleged criminals who the police seem to be on a catch and release
mission from time to time. We steer clear of them letting sleeping dogs
lie. Even now in the early hours of the morning, I can hear them in the
yard. Maybe another car for the police to tow away? The other neighbour
excavated up to our fence line which backs onto a Right of Way, not on
their side of their property. They have undermined our soil and fence
causing erosion. The council checked it but as the excavation is under a
certain height, the council says it's now a civil matter. Recently I
asked the woman to reinstate the land. She said a gully had always been
there - untrue; that no excavation had been done - we saw the bobcat and
her husband had told a tradesman in front of me that he had done it;
they had council approval - untrue. Lie, deny, fabricate, distract. As
in a horror movie when an evil spirit is absorbed into an innocent
victim, I felt physically rotten to the core, as I was angry and it was
so unjust, selfish and entitled. After a week, though still angry, at
least the rotten feeling has dissipated. The woman said that I am the
common denominator with having issues with 2 neighbours, and it could
look that way, even to me, yet we haven't done anything to cause issues,
only issues have been thrust onto us. After this 'meeting', we will
unfortunately have to go through with legal action, as if we fix the
fence and land ourselves, they will still be out there digging gutters
undermining the land and fence, so it may lead to obtaining an
Apprehended Personal Violence Order against them. I am reluctant to
venture into our yard as the woman and her husband are always around
with them telling us we should do this and that with our land. I won't
even let my grandchildren play there as I'm concerned that they will be
yelled at. I wish we didn't have to deal with them at all! And though I
wish to be off this planet, these people are totally not worth it. Oh,
and lastly, whilst watching a movie tonight where an actress wore a
similar dress to one that I have, my darling husband brought up that
when going out with him, I should wear makeup and look better, AND that
ten years ago, a husband of his sister, who is now in his 90's, said I
should have worn a better outfit to a family wedding!! Can you believe
it!! I told my husband if he likes makeup, then he can wear it himself.
And saying all this to a woman who has had issues with her looks since
the age of 4.
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