Staying well

Loneliness

replies: 2

Hi, I’m new here! I don’t really know what to say, but I guess I’ll just say what’s on my mind. I haven’t had a good relationship with my parents since I was little. My mum was always very anxious and impatient with me, while my father was the quiet ... View more

Hi, I’m new here! I don’t really know what to say, but I guess I’ll just say what’s on my mind. I haven’t had a good relationship with my parents since I was little. My mum was always very anxious and impatient with me, while my father was the quiet type and wouldn’t really step in or help me. I have two younger siblings, and my brother used to physically bully me a lot. Whenever I cried, the adults would tell me that I should have fought back instead of crying. I think that, from then on, I learned to keep everything to myself. Now I’m 26 years old, and I guess those experiences have shaped me into someone who is introverted and doesn’t open up easily to other people.Ten years ago, I met a guy whom I felt safe enough with to open up and express my feelings freely. My parents didn’t approve of our relationship, but we continued seeing each other. Eventually, he broke up with me because he became too exhausted from dealing with my family. After the breakup, I struggled with anxiety every day. I couldn’t eat or sleep properly. I tried telling my parents and family about what I was going through, but they brushed it off. I also tried going to a psychologist, but I felt like my feelings and experiences were dismissed there as well. Eventually, I got through that period by holding on to the belief that everything would be okay and by praying. But after everything that happened, I think I became even more reluctant to express my feelings to other people. I often feel lonely and long for a genuine connection with someone, but it feels like nothing can fill that emptiness. Sometimes, everything just feels painful. I have a good friend in my life, and I’m grateful for her, so sometimes I wonder if I’m being ungrateful for still feeling this lonely. I keep asking myself: Why do I still feel this way even though I have a person who cares about me? Is there something wrong with me, or is there a reason I find it so difficult to feel truly connected to others?

Loneliness

replies: 4

After high school our friendship group separated, I was left with my best friend and another friend. My best friend drifted apart a few years ago and the other friend I drifted away from earlier this year (we hadn’t caught up since February last year... View more

After high school our friendship group separated, I was left with my best friend and another friend. My best friend drifted apart a few years ago and the other friend I drifted away from earlier this year (we hadn’t caught up since February last year and I always felt our conversations were the same/couldn’t speak deeply with her). Now I have no friends and no partner either. Every time I’m in a social setting I’m always thinking about what I’m lacking, what I’ve lost with my best friend. It’s not fair of me to blame everything on her, I don’t, but I could confide absolutely everything to her and now I don’t really have that. With work, it’s the same mundane tasks and routine. I have no motivation, no challenges, I’m not in an industry that I’m passionate about. With that, I don’t do anything during the week. Monday-Friday is work and on the weekends I stay home and read since I have nobody to catch up with (I genuinely do like reading). I am incredibly close with my brother but he’ll be married within the next few years and I’m afraid I won’t leave the house and instead will isolate myself. I know it’s contradictory but I can’t see anyone because I don’t want my family knowing how lonely I feel. I’ve been waking up every night since January and I think the loneliness is taking a bigger toll on me than I thought.

quarter life crisis? I'm Stuck

replies: 1

Heyy first time here!This past year has been quite heavy. I'm so grateful for everything I have and I feel so privileged every single day- But I can't help but feel ungrateful and selfish.All my thoughts are muddled, so apologies if this is all over ... View more

Heyy first time here!This past year has been quite heavy. I'm so grateful for everything I have and I feel so privileged every single day- But I can't help but feel ungrateful and selfish.All my thoughts are muddled, so apologies if this is all over the place. I've always struggled to make friends through my entire life (im 25) and I forced myself to be ok with it- which I am, but this year has been incredibly hard. Everyone at work seems to go out with friends, always seems to be texting someone. My sibling always is going out with friends. Then there is me. I love being at home all alone, but I've always longed for a friend to chat with to talk to, have someone on standby when I want to go on a hike or to try a cute restaurant. I know I cant just sit on this thought, I need to take action, but don't know where to look! I also have always struggled to get close and form long lasting relationships- i find it difficult to trust people and let them in. I'm just so frustrated at myself. How has everyone figured out how to make friends and I can't even talk to someone.This goes the same with finding a relationship, I get scared to approach men or to 'flirt', or again just to become friends with them to see where the friendship goes. also, everyone around me seems to have life all figured out, they all boast about their job and how much they love their job. Everyone always knew what they wanted in life and they got it. I've done 2 and a half degrees at university and I can't find joy working in either fields. I begin enjoying them , then I just lose all motivation and doubt myself in every aspect. I can't see myself in the field in the future. I just see how burnt out everyone becomes in their career and I don't want to see my life become like that. But I somehow already see myself burnt out and I just started?? I sit in my car before work waiting for the day to finish. Before sleeping on Sunday I'm thinking of my last working day! And I'm just working for the sake of it, tired, exhausted and drained. Like what am I supposed to do with my life, I want to do something I enjoy. Every time I vent about work all I hear is "grow up" "the grass isn't greener on the other side" "you're young, work now get money now" "that's life, get over it"To an extent I understand, not every job is easy, but everyone assumes my profession is a ride off? I just want the world to pause for a moment, everything nowadays is moving so fast - everyone is managing it, but I feel I'm falling behind.Maybe I'm just complaining, but thanks for listening

Managing screen addiction

replies: 4

For years now, I have used screen time as a coping mechanism and have gotten addicted to different niches throughout it. Recently one of the niches I was really interested in became popular again and now all I want to do is consume everything related... View more

For years now, I have used screen time as a coping mechanism and have gotten addicted to different niches throughout it. Recently one of the niches I was really interested in became popular again and now all I want to do is consume everything related to that. I probably should have not given attention to it at all because it honestly took a lot overcome it the first time. I always find another thing anyway, so I need to figure out a way to realistically manage my screen time. I don't want to fully quit but maybe that's the only solution, because that has worked in the past, even for other things in my life. I just want a way to manage it and find balance but I don't know if it's possible with me. At some stage it can be but I think I have to start by fully quitting. I'm sure a lot of people relate to this to some extent. It's just affecting my life and I'm neglecting a lot of things because of that. I'm tired of missing out on things. A lot of my problems would probably be solved if I wasn't addicted and actually focused on reality. It's just bad and it kept getting worse during a vulnerable time in my life. It was easy and it provided me comfort. I think it has gotten better but it's still bad and when I do disconnect from it all, I feel empty. I'm also just worried about the long lasting impacts on my mental, I'm already forgetful and have brain fog sometimes. I'm just wondering people's thoughts on if fully quitting is the move or if there are other strategies that have worked for them. Thanks!

A girl & her dog

replies: 18

Got a pup & he has turned my life around far more than I had ever imagined. He was a thought out & planned for addition to the family. coincidentally I was pretty much in the pit of despair with my depression. No getting out of bed, no showers, no pr... View more

Got a pup & he has turned my life around far more than I had ever imagined. He was a thought out & planned for addition to the family. coincidentally I was pretty much in the pit of despair with my depression. No getting out of bed, no showers, no proper meals, no job, no leaving the house etc etc Then pup arrived & I suddenly had a reason to get out of bed. Initially just to feed him & have a cuddle. Then toilet training. Then finally I decided he needed exercise so the walking started. Fast forward to today & looking back all these things have become routine since getting the dog: I get out of bed at a set time I shower i brush hair & teeth i dress i walk dog we stop at cafe & I get a coffee (not a usual activity on my own but I feel more confident with the dog) I started interacting with people as they would ask about the dog suddenly I recognise certain dogs when I see them & I greet the owners i discovered a park where people tend to let their dogs off leash for a run. I have taken my dog a couple of times. While the pups play I am kind of forced to interact it’s other people. I’m uncomfortable but it’s good practise for managing my anxiety i plan different walk routes so the dog can experience new sights/sounds/smells having a morning walk & coffee means when I get home I am motivated to do a small amount of cleaning eg do the dishes & pre prepare dinner i am now cooking dinner as I have done all the prep earlier in the day It might not seem like much, but it’s a huge turnaround for me. Both my psychiatrist & psychologist were surprised & happy by these changes the dog has brought about. I can’t help it, I love the dog & want the best for him. Last week I went to obedience class with him & my partner. Sometimes my partner brings the dog to watch my soccer games. On weekends we go out to lunch to local cafes for the simple reason that I like to take the dog along & get him out of the house. In turn I get myself out of the house & interacting socially. Today I even felt content. I have lacked feeling any emotions for so long, it just feels good to feel something. This dog will never know it, but he has totally changed my world. My favourite moments are when he climbs up onto my lap in the lounge & we have cuddles. I should point out, this is a giant breed so he is a very BIG boy even at just 6mths old i actually look forward to our morning walks every day now. Thank you doggo for bringing some sunshine to my life

Self care Ideas

replies: 10

Hi Guys As we know self care is important so im wondering what sorts of things you guys do for self care? Does anyone have any quirky or unusual self care ideas? All Tips are welcome too! Share Away

ADHD. Exhausted options, toxic workplace breakdown, zero savings: How do I escape?

replies: 5

Hey, I hate having to look for support but I’m gonna try. I'm a 34 year old man, living in Melbourne for 12 years now and no emotional support from family. I’ve hit an absolute dead end and need real, practical advice from anyone who has navigated th... View more

Hey, I hate having to look for support but I’m gonna try. I'm a 34 year old man, living in Melbourne for 12 years now and no emotional support from family. I’ve hit an absolute dead end and need real, practical advice from anyone who has navigated the Victorian health and welfare system when carrying severe burnout while “looking fine” on the outside. I simply cannot sustain this work/job-style much longer. My situation: Masking & Dismissal: I present as extremely resilient, articulate, and put-together. Because I don't visually "look" like I'm suffering, GPs and health professionals completely underestimate how severely incapacitated I am until I hit a complete mental breakdown. Toxic Work Impact: My workplace environment has been horrific and has directly driven me into this crisis. It has completely drained my physical and mental capacity to the point where I am incapacitated. Continuing to stay in that environment is actively destroying my health every single day. I snapped at someone today, I still have 3 months left of this job. Medicare limits exhausted: I have used all 10 Mental Health Treatment Plan sessions and my Chronic Disease Management plan for the year. I cannot afford private out-of-pocket fees. Financial: I have zero liquid savings, cannot access my super, and cannot afford unpaid leave. I desperately need to stop working before I fall apart completely, but I have no income safety net. If you've been in this exact position and found a way to stop the clock without going completely broke, please let me know what steps you took.. I’d be so grateful

I want to move on, my brain and thoughts won't let me.

replies: 3

I have noticed I have patterns and behaviours that never appear to go away. My wife and I were discussing our daughter this morning and that she has many traits for what we call ADHD. Whats interesting is how easy it can be to recognise behaviours in... View more

I have noticed I have patterns and behaviours that never appear to go away. My wife and I were discussing our daughter this morning and that she has many traits for what we call ADHD. Whats interesting is how easy it can be to recognise behaviours in others and not always oneself. I am in my 50's and for the past 20-years have struggled with living a purposeful life filled with meaningful work and a healthy social network of friends. If I am honest I have neither. I dont have any people I would call friends as I have consciously removed myself from those who were in my life. Work has been a disaster and I on good faith have networked extensively to find suitable opportunities and they never truly work out or I quickly lose interest. Last year I became a Christian, got saved, started hanging out with a few people from there and as always it faded away. I recognise that I have core areas that are not or have never been in true harmony and when issues arise in my work (which is my achillees heel), I go backwards. Like I said to my wife this morning as lots of things came flooding to my brain, I just want to be at peace. My family situaltion is so complicated I dont have the energy or time to go there. I have been in denial that this is always under the surface and I dont know how to find peace with them all. The key pople who are all still alive and live within a 10-30km radius from me are: Mother, Father (Separated), both married 3 x times. I have zero emotion or feelings towards either. Half Brother...also on his second marriage. He has 2 x girls (nieces).Step Sister who I was very close to. We are talking 10 - 15+ years I have had little to no contact and I know its crushed my soul. When so much time has passed and you (think) you no longer have any feelings for them, I often wonder why would I want to connect. To meand any old wounds? To clarify things? I would rather not and honestly couldnt care less if I saw any of them again while I remain on this earth. Frustratingly, I know I have not healed from the trauma connected to each and every one of them and I dont know what to do. Thanks for listening and reading this far if you stayed with me. God bless. Whats interesting was when I lived on the other side of the Country and HAD a dream job and lifetsyle, I was way too busy and fuillfilled that none of these people mattered. Now I am closer I

landlord issues

replies: 3

hi all,I've been struggling with my landlord over the past month. everything seemed fine but last month she gave me a notice for a rent increase, $100 per week , so now from $350 its gone to $450 per week. she knows I'm on Centrelink benefits so now ... View more

hi all,I've been struggling with my landlord over the past month. everything seemed fine but last month she gave me a notice for a rent increase, $100 per week , so now from $350 its gone to $450 per week. she knows I'm on Centrelink benefits so now she's basically asking for 90% of my benefit. i did have $200 per week to live on, but now that's shifted to $100 per week, I also have a dog. so I'm not sure how I'm going to afford it. she handed me the notice and walked off and since then I've noticed an unmistakeable change in her demeanour. she gives me one word answers to texts and has changed her routine to basically avoid me at all costs. I don't know what I've done wrong. last week I was away, overseas and my gut told me to lock the house up and take a photo of the door when I left. i put a piece of grass in the door jam so I would know if anyone had been in the house.I got back today , took another photo, and sure enough the grass was missing and the curtains had been moved. only someone with keys could have entered, so I'm 100% sure it was her. I don't know what to do. if i confront her, she's likely to say I threatened her, she doesn't feel safe or whatever, and have me removed immediately. I don't want that. if I say nothing, I live with the knowledge that she comes and goes in my house which is illegal. I really don't know what to do at this stage. I don't want to move back to my husbands house, (which is an option) but comes with its own challenges.... (my god its a slum now, since I left it).... I also dont want to live in my car with my dog. thoughts?

Carrying the weight of physical pain.

replies: 10

Not asking for medical advice, I just need to vent. I'm actually so fed up. I'm tired of having to carry the weight of severe chronic pain with every passing minute of every day. I hate having to deal with the emotional and physical toll of it and le... View more

Not asking for medical advice, I just need to vent. I'm actually so fed up. I'm tired of having to carry the weight of severe chronic pain with every passing minute of every day. I hate having to deal with the emotional and physical toll of it and let it wash over me, on top of having to put up with everything and people's comments about my pain—like how it'll go away with no proof of it and eventually my leg's gonna heal on its own—it's exhausting, especially when it's something that can't be proven, and even I can't predict what will happen. It hasn't been easy. I just wish that the "sugar-coated" comments would stop. It's frustrating to hear them, and it only makes me feel worse. I'd rather it be coming from someone who's serious, direct, or even blunt and actually knows what they're saying, than coming from someone who isn't and says things that are obviously sugar-coated. I prefer the raw, direct truth. I'm just so exhausted. I've been held back from living my life to the fullest because of my pain; it has been like this for two years now. I feel defenceless whenever I take a look at my leg. I'm watching my leg change (along with muscle atrophy) in front of my very own eyes, and it hurts to sit and watch as I'm losing parts of my leg. I know it's my first time posting here, but I'd really appreciate if anyone else who's going through something similar or who knows what it's like to please interact with this post. If not, anyone is still welcome. 🩷

Pinned discussions

A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

replies: 715

All discussions

Loneliness

replies: 2

Loneliness

replies: 4

quarter life crisis? I'm Stuck

replies: 1

Managing screen addiction

replies: 4

A girl & her dog

replies: 18

Self care Ideas

replies: 10

ADHD. Exhausted options, toxic workplace breakdown, zero savings: How do I escape?

replies: 5

I want to move on, my brain and thoughts won't let me.

replies: 3

landlord issues

replies: 3

Carrying the weight of physical pain.

replies: 10

Staying well

A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members replies: 715

Loneliness replies: 2

Loneliness replies: 4

quarter life crisis? I'm Stuck replies: 1

Managing screen addiction replies: 4

A girl & her dog replies: 18

Self care Ideas replies: 10

ADHD. Exhausted options, toxic workplace breakdown, zero savings: How do I escape? replies: 5

I want to move on, my brain and thoughts won't let me. replies: 3

landlord issues replies: 3

Carrying the weight of physical pain. replies: 10

A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

replies: 715

Loneliness

replies: 2

Loneliness

replies: 4

quarter life crisis? I'm Stuck

replies: 1

Managing screen addiction

replies: 4

A girl & her dog

replies: 18

Self care Ideas

replies: 10

ADHD. Exhausted options, toxic workplace breakdown, zero savings: How do I escape?

replies: 5

I want to move on, my brain and thoughts won't let me.

replies: 3

landlord issues

replies: 3

Carrying the weight of physical pain.

replies: 10