Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Raa Would anyone like to join?
  • replies: 1

Hi. Just wondering if anybody would like to join as friends on duolingo?I have a small goal of completing a 90 day streak however I don't have anyone that uses it in my network. I find it can help distract myself on some of the days that aren't worki... View more

Hi. Just wondering if anybody would like to join as friends on duolingo?I have a small goal of completing a 90 day streak however I don't have anyone that uses it in my network. I find it can help distract myself on some of the days that aren't working the best for me and it could also help someone else maybe ?Thanks for reading

Guest_93732015 Unbearable Anger
  • replies: 2

I have BPD, and I thought I was getting better until now. An ongoing issue is making me so incredibly angry. I am storming out of exams, ruining friendships as I just keep getting angry, losing contact with my family and lots of other stuff. It is li... View more

I have BPD, and I thought I was getting better until now. An ongoing issue is making me so incredibly angry. I am storming out of exams, ruining friendships as I just keep getting angry, losing contact with my family and lots of other stuff. It is like I want to scream at the top of my lungs, break things, punch things, kick things, and just do harm in general. It has never been this bad (the anger), and no matter what I do, I just get angrier every second that passes by. Has anyone ever found a way to contain their anger or to just get it to disappear? And am I weird that I sort of dont want it to disappear?

string_cheese Confused morally
  • replies: 10

Hey there BBers, Simple question I'm so interested to hear what other people, especially people with mental illness experience think of this one. Is it better to be who you are or who you should be?

Hey there BBers, Simple question I'm so interested to hear what other people, especially people with mental illness experience think of this one. Is it better to be who you are or who you should be?

white knight A life of excess empathy
  • replies: 6

There are a good percentage of people in the world that dedicate themselves to giving to others. World Vision and many other organisations are dedicated to making life easier, even survival more likely not only with food and bare essentials but with ... View more

There are a good percentage of people in the world that dedicate themselves to giving to others. World Vision and many other organisations are dedicated to making life easier, even survival more likely not only with food and bare essentials but with support. Such kind people, for them to dedicated themselves to throw their life at their work is amazing. The ultimate in empathy. In our day to day lives however, what is excess empathy? As an empath (a tag a friend gave me) I've often paid a price for seeing only the good in others. But being an empath also means you dont expect to pay a price for your gift seen as softness. Why do we sometimes pay such a price? As Newtons law states in part "To every action there is always opposed an equal reaction..." That law is for solid matter. But if we use it in our daily challenges it can become a guide to what is "reasonable". Reasonableness does not include excessiveness in any area. Excessiveness can be a huge amount that is over the top... its an amount that is not common, needed or above requirements that can have ramifications. Empathy. An empath with excessiveness of their kind minds fall into trouble when we have relations with people that will see an opening to deceive or interpreted as weakness, the deceiver will try to manipulate, dominate or swindle the empath to a position whereby they capitalise on that weakness. This can often be inside the dynamics of a family. Sometimes a family has a child that feels they are always being picked on, made to do chores more than others or as adults they are consulted for a means of support before anyone else. This moves them to becoming a target for all family members. Essentially an excess empath needs to recognise that excess and pull it back towards normal levels Normal levels are likely not achievable but "toward" is progress. How? Boundaries. Inserting limits whereby the empath isnt called upon all the time, to teach friends and family that they can exercise their own responsibilities to themselves. There's a difference in discussing a certain problem with an empath over a cuppa and running to them on each occasion for the slightest life mishap.Acknowledging your self care needs. Such care is a priority over others (chiildren and dependant ones excluded)Empathy is a wonderful quality but excess in any area of ones character has its down sides. Yes, it can be your own worst enemy if not controlled. Be grateful for your empathy but without vulnerability... TonyWK

Ruby2 1 Abusive coworker
  • replies: 3

I work with a very aggressive team member.He has yelled at me for simple requests and it all started with me being uncomfortable with physical contact.I have reported his behaviour.I am now expected to discuss with HR.He has been moved on through var... View more

I work with a very aggressive team member.He has yelled at me for simple requests and it all started with me being uncomfortable with physical contact.I have reported his behaviour.I am now expected to discuss with HR.He has been moved on through various departments due to his behaviour.I am concerned that my position will be at risk because I am causing a drama by complaining

Panic Struggles
  • replies: 1

Hello. Im new here so not sure how it all works. I guess im just looking for some support. Ive been very unwell for a while with panic attacks and anxiety. Ive suffered from this most of my life but recently had breakdown from carrying so much presur... View more

Hello. Im new here so not sure how it all works. I guess im just looking for some support. Ive been very unwell for a while with panic attacks and anxiety. Ive suffered from this most of my life but recently had breakdown from carrying so much presure in my life. Ive reached my limit and exploded. Now, im too unwell to go back to work where I dont feel safe anyway. My life just seems to be spiralling out of control. I want to get myself better and move forward again.

poisontree coping
  • replies: 3

hey everyone how do you cope with feelings of hopelessness? i’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed and defeated mentally lately (past 5 months). i’m struggling to envision a future for myself and sometimes things just don’t feel real? if that makes sens... View more

hey everyone how do you cope with feelings of hopelessness? i’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed and defeated mentally lately (past 5 months). i’m struggling to envision a future for myself and sometimes things just don’t feel real? if that makes sense? i’m 20 and feel really bleak about my life and the future, especially because a lot of my peers are excelling in their lives. i’d appreciate any advice, thanks.

Paw Prints Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
  • replies: 2075

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

OrangeFantastic How do i rest?
  • replies: 5

This sounds a little bit stupid but, i genuinely have no idea how to be unstimulated. I always need music or something, anything to keep me going and when i dont feel stimulated something feels wrong. Ive been burnt out for a while and i dont know wh... View more

This sounds a little bit stupid but, i genuinely have no idea how to be unstimulated. I always need music or something, anything to keep me going and when i dont feel stimulated something feels wrong. Ive been burnt out for a while and i dont know what to do about it but i know i need rest and i just have no idea how to rest to any capcity. Whenever i try to rest my brain tells me no, i must stay stimulated and its so hard for me to start things. How do i fix this?

Thom I wanna flee
  • replies: 2

I never felt appreciated and accepted since I was a little. Only had a few friends. Most of the people i knew in my school mocked me or thought im weird. Tried to fit and get along with the people i knew, that doesnt work out. Even my family thought ... View more

I never felt appreciated and accepted since I was a little. Only had a few friends. Most of the people i knew in my school mocked me or thought im weird. Tried to fit and get along with the people i knew, that doesnt work out. Even my family thought im weird. No one even there when im facing it alone. They said that they’re busy with office work. Had a 2 sister, none of them dont even care maybe because of Im a boy of some shit. Moved to melbourne ever since then when im 18. Actually i already moved here when im still 17 for university because i cant stand it. Im not even smart and my grade looks trash, somehow i still chose bachelor of science because i liked animals. Somehow i felt like they have much more common sense than human who dont give a fuck. Everytime when i’m doing my work, i felt like im being a perfectionist, yet i havent improve anything yet in my way of study. I felt so dumb choosing these bachelor, but i dont want to choose business like my dad ordered me to and be like him. Made a few friend here… i think. Still doesnt feel like im fitting somewhere.Tried hanging out with them but i dont think it even goes well. I never open up to someone just because everyone gonna ask why am i weak or some shit.