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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Ollienells Experience with starting uni again and career advice?
  • replies: 5

I'm kind of having regrets starting uni again. For context I graduated early this year, after a pretty tough uni experience. I took some time off after that and focused mainly on work and eventually came to the conclusion that I wanted to go back to ... View more

I'm kind of having regrets starting uni again. For context I graduated early this year, after a pretty tough uni experience. I took some time off after that and focused mainly on work and eventually came to the conclusion that I wanted to go back to uni and complete another degree that's relevant to what I graduated with, because I felt a little limited with my current degree. I also just felt like I didn't fully take advantage of the opportunities at uni and almost wanted a second chance to prove myself. Now, almost a few weeks in, I'm already seeing the negative affects that I experienced before and I'm wondering why I'm putting myself through this again when I'm still not even sure what I want to do. I also managed to get an internship this semester and it unfortunately solidified my feelings of not wanting to really pursue this career. There's some things I like about it but I'm definitely not passionate about this field of work. So now I kind of want to just drop out so I don't lose anymore more money or time. I'm just worried it's a bad choice because what if in the future I wish that i still did it. I'm just not really enjoying my time back so far because I don't feel like I'm learning, I'm just doing the work just to do it and have it completed. Non of the information is really retaining. There's some parts that definitely excite me but the other parts kind of overweigh it. Sorry this is a bit vague. I really don't thrive in learning environments and it's kind of bad. I'm just thinking about how I could be enjoying everything else I want to do without uni being in the way. I'm also thinking about how this is just me wanting to quit when things get hard. It's so mentally exhausting. I did choose a part time study load so I know that I can somehow get through this but it's not going to be fun.

Guest_05971723 Loneliness
  • replies: 3

After high school our friendship group separated, I was left with my best friend and another friend. My best friend drifted apart a few years ago and the other friend I drifted away from earlier this year (we hadn’t caught up since February last year... View more

After high school our friendship group separated, I was left with my best friend and another friend. My best friend drifted apart a few years ago and the other friend I drifted away from earlier this year (we hadn’t caught up since February last year and I always felt our conversations were the same/couldn’t speak deeply with her). Now I have no friends and no partner either. Every time I’m in a social setting I’m always thinking about what I’m lacking, what I’ve lost with my best friend. It’s not fair of me to blame everything on her, I don’t, but I could confide absolutely everything to her and now I don’t really have that. With work, it’s the same mundane tasks and routine. I have no motivation, no challenges, I’m not in an industry that I’m passionate about. With that, I don’t do anything during the week. Monday-Friday is work and on the weekends I stay home and read since I have nobody to catch up with (I genuinely do like reading). I am incredibly close with my brother but he’ll be married within the next few years and I’m afraid I won’t leave the house and instead will isolate myself. I know it’s contradictory but I can’t see anyone because I don’t want my family knowing how lonely I feel. I’ve been waking up every night since January and I think the loneliness is taking a bigger toll on me than I thought.

ecomama Three self-care things you did today!
  • replies: 1672

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care. Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps! Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too. Best wishes EM

We can do it BBers, we can do self-care. Sleepy21 pointed out research that shows self-care REALLY helps! Please share what you do for self-care so we can get inspiration, ideas and motivation to do it too. Best wishes EM

Catawasers I dont think anything really makes me happy anymore
  • replies: 3

Hello, my name's Cat. I just turned 29, so I feel a bit stupid doing this, I really thought I'd be better by now. I struggle with going to therapy, it's really hard and my brain always cuts my appointments short, and I end up quitting, I wish I dont ... View more

Hello, my name's Cat. I just turned 29, so I feel a bit stupid doing this, I really thought I'd be better by now. I struggle with going to therapy, it's really hard and my brain always cuts my appointments short, and I end up quitting, I wish I dont do that, but I dont know how or why my brain just stops me from going. My cousins wedding was a couple months ago, and I am beyond happy for her! I feel horrible thought because i started thinking about how nice it'd be for me to experience something like this, but I fear that I am Aromantic, I dont think I'd ever be able to love someone like that. Not that I'm unable to BE loved, but unable to feel it. It hurt a lot that they had a teacher from high-school, for some reason upset me a lot, my head immediately thought "I wish I had a mentor figure like that that had cared enough to stay like that"We went to the same school, and a lot of the teachers disliked me and I had struggled with a lot. Of course I am happy for my cousin! It just made me really reevaluate and somewhat hate myself moreso. I feel selfish and I know I risk posting this, but this is how I feel. I love my cousin a lot but I feel so bad, I have dreams all the time, and I'm so full of shame that any opportunity to see my family I freak out at and avoid. I dont know why I'm posting this, I've been diagnosed with bpd/cptsd, which i think caused me to have a bad dream about the situation. How do you fix things when you're already older and should have it figured out already? I barely know enough about myself. Sorry again if I seem selfish, I dont know why I'm like this.

Rubaiya I don’t know
  • replies: 9

I am unable to do anything. Specially I can't study. I have assessments due. instead of doing that I am doing everything. I struggle with getting things done. Even if try to somehow starting the task I just need to do it perfectly or either not at al... View more

I am unable to do anything. Specially I can't study. I have assessments due. instead of doing that I am doing everything. I struggle with getting things done. Even if try to somehow starting the task I just need to do it perfectly or either not at all. When I can't do perfectly I just became sad and leave the task. My to do lists and never getting ticked. Even I don’t have a to do. I don’t have any list. I can't make a list. I can't plan anything. Even if I do I can't finished it. There is a lot of voices in my head. They always argue. I can specially hear two voices one is the voice of current me and another is 2 year old me. The 2 year old me to trantrums, take implusive decisions, don’t want to wait, have big emotions, meltdowns and my older self try saying no no don’t do it..Toodler me always wins and current me is just tired and frustrated now. Want to run. It feels like having a giant head on you body that gives you pain, wrong directons, confused directions. I am always confused, having multiple options in my head..Being in relationships that you know don’t serve you, But keep going for more than 10 years, there is someone is me that says stop!! this are the signs!! I do Stop.. But when I cut connections , I get implusive, even if that moment they are hiding anywhere in the world I would find them.. Don’t know what to feel, what to do, what to expect myself..I am not consistent in anything in my life.. I hate myself..I don’t deserve anything

Paw Prints Staying/Getting/Doing Well – Moving goalposts or fixed target?
  • replies: 2076

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when ... View more

Hi, this is my first post, though I have been reading the forums for some weeks. I’m probably expressing myself badly when I say that I have found reading about other people’s journeys reassuring. Finding a community of people who “get it” even when they have a wide variety of experiences and lives lived is not something I thought I would ever find. Though people talk about getting well & there is a section Staying Well, I’m curious as to what this actually means to other people and how they manage their expectations. I noticed some people refer to being well as ‘being like themselves before they got ill’, whilst others don’t express an exact aim. My idea of being well has changed over the years. I was first diagnosed as an 8 year old child back in the late sixties. The doctors told Mum that the voices in my head & the sudden crying bouts were because I suffered from ‘nerves’ & I was given meds to calm me. Of course such things were not discussed back then & I was told not to talk about it to anyone, not my school friends nor siblings, just Mum. For decades after my idea of being well simply meant being able to hide my illness from others. A number of events in my life caused my illness to worsen, until some years ago I became so ill I needed to be hospitalised for my own safety. This lead to my current diagnosis of Major Depression, Anxiety & PTSD. I’m no longer in that dark place, but each day is still a battle (though I can now believe in a future). For now only my siblings & one friend know about my illness, though some things they still don’t know. So, what does ‘being well’ mean to me, it is ever moving goalposts. If you had asked me 5 years ago would I be as well as I am now I would have thought it impossible as I couldn’t envision a future. If you had asked me last week (during one of my down periods) I would have said my progress was all an illusion & I was fooling myself that things can get better. For now my idea of being well is being able to believe that things can change for the better, that I will one day be able to manage the everyday things like housework, caring for myself & caring for my dog & maybe, just maybe I will even be able to enjoy myself. Paw Prints **I took the tip to give myself time to write my post by writing on a word doc & then paste it.

sherlocks Injured Mental Health Worker
  • replies: 4

Hello I am a work place injured victim. Is there anyone out there that is similar and what’s your experience with the work cover system. I would love to hear from anyone going through work cover and there recovery? Support experience. I am a complete... View more

Hello I am a work place injured victim. Is there anyone out there that is similar and what’s your experience with the work cover system. I would love to hear from anyone going through work cover and there recovery? Support experience. I am a complete example of a Broken System that has been abusing me for twenty years now. Suffering my injury I have been slaughtered stripped of human decency life. My treatment is a very serious urgent concern and I really would love to hear from anyone. thank you dead girl walking

s0lar-flare how to combat this feeling of persistent loneliness
  • replies: 1

hey everyone!im a year 12 student with less than 3 months left of school. it feels like everyone has clocked out of their friendships (especially with me) and are now starting to phase me out of their inner circle. i have a friend (we’ll use her init... View more

hey everyone!im a year 12 student with less than 3 months left of school. it feels like everyone has clocked out of their friendships (especially with me) and are now starting to phase me out of their inner circle. i have a friend (we’ll use her initial, G), and she’s invited me to her 18th birthday party, but, she has not properly spoken to me in about a month? we haven’t had many in depth conversations like how ‘normal’ friends would at all in about that long. i get that she’s busy with school, but im getting mixed signals, and now the rest of my friend group is seeming to follow her and her boyfriend (J) in hanging out in a different area at lunchtime, and not even saying hello to me at all during the day. i even asked G where they were and they just said “outside” like they don’t want me to know where they are so i won’t ’disturb the peace’. really weird, considering they claimed to support me when i was dealing with someone who sexually harrassed me. it’s really weird and isolating and it makes me feel kinda depressed ive also been recently diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder, so i dont know if these perceptions of people are just my anxiety reading into everything or im actually perceiving things correctly and they actually want to break off the friendship anyone else experience this? let me know how you got thru it!! - sincerely, a struggling year 12

2889123 Aneurysm cured
  • replies: 7

Hi I am 70 years old and 4 years ago I was diagnosed with an aneurysm on my ascending aorta during a regular heart ultra sound check . The dilation measured 48mm (35mm is normal) and was confirmed by a CT scan a week later. I was told by the heart sp... View more

Hi I am 70 years old and 4 years ago I was diagnosed with an aneurysm on my ascending aorta during a regular heart ultra sound check . The dilation measured 48mm (35mm is normal) and was confirmed by a CT scan a week later. I was told by the heart specialist that modern medicine had no cure, drugs or therapies for this codition only open heart surgery when the aneurysm reached 55mm. I was told that the dilation would continue to grow at around 1mm per year. The surgery apart from replacing the affected area of the aneurym with an artificial device I could also expect an artifical mechanical Tricuspid valve. 12 months ago after another CT scan the aneurysm had grown to 50.1 and I was getting depressed. I decided then and there I was not going to just sit around without doing nothing so I scoured the internet for any natural healing medicines that might slow or stop the growth. I looked for any medicines, Herbs or vitamines that might help support my cardiovascular system. I eventually found around 12 such products and settled on 8 with some minor changes to my diet . I had a new CT scan last week after 12 months on my new programe and to everybodies shock to Aneurysm had reversed itself and was now back to near normal levels of 38mm . The doctors had never seen this happen and it goes to show you that there is always hope especially if you are prepared to look outside the square

jax_in_my_heart Emotional eating - how do I stop?
  • replies: 11

I am hoping some people here might have some words of advice or point me in the direction of some resources I can access. I have recently realised I am an emotional eater. My default reaction to sadness, loneliness, boredom is always to reach for foo... View more

I am hoping some people here might have some words of advice or point me in the direction of some resources I can access. I have recently realised I am an emotional eater. My default reaction to sadness, loneliness, boredom is always to reach for food. I exercise a great deal, so I am not significantly overweight (could certainly stand to lose 5-10 kilos). The problem is, I have consistently been pretty much sad and lonely for the last 12 months, and don’t see it changing any time soon. It seems lately the only joy I get from life is eating; it’s instant positive gratification, and it’s all I seem to have on the happiness front. When socialising, I see my friends being able to eat just a few slices of pizza, whereas I am restraining myself from eating the whole box. I don’t know how they do it, the food just seems utterly unimportant to them, like they could take it or leave it, wouldn’t bother them. Whereas the whole time it is in front of me, I am thinking about it, even though I’m trying desperately not to. I don’t want to be like this, I barely have my weight under control, and I feel like I’m walking on a tightrope. I have tried to find books on emotional eating and how I can break this cycle, but I haven’t had much luck at all. Has anyone else here experienced this? How do you manage it? Is there a way to break free and be a ‘normal’ eater?

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