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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Doolhof Three things to be thankful for today
  • replies: 4895

Some days it is really hard to find anything to be thankful for when we feel overcome by the darkness and fog of depression. If I look hard enough, I can find something to be thankful for. I would like to encourage others to write down three things t... View more

Some days it is really hard to find anything to be thankful for when we feel overcome by the darkness and fog of depression. If I look hard enough, I can find something to be thankful for. I would like to encourage others to write down three things they are thankful for, and to realise there is a sense of hope available to us all. Sometimes it is just a little hard to find! So my three things for today are: 1: The lovely singing of birds in the morning as they welcome in the new day 2: The ability to read and write 3: A lovely hot shower. Wishing all the "family" in BB Land a day full of noticing the nice things in life. Kind regards to you all, from Dools.

white knight Inexpensive recovery idea - camping
  • replies: 36

My wife and I wanted to attend a country dog show held last Sunday and located half way between Ballarat and Geelong...about 90 minutes drive from Melbourne. We are lucky as we have a fully equipped camper trailer. But I do recall many years ago when... View more

My wife and I wanted to attend a country dog show held last Sunday and located half way between Ballarat and Geelong...about 90 minutes drive from Melbourne. We are lucky as we have a fully equipped camper trailer. But I do recall many years ago when single I camped in a tent. Last Saturday night we used a free camping guide, a book that lists all free camping spots in Australia. We found a great spot in the hills, alone and free. The birds singing was so good we woke up early at 5am to hear them, cook our eggs and bacon and ....RELAX. There is something about camping more so than ever because social media has drowned many of us and taken us away from the basics of living. Some of us need to get back to nature even for a short time...even overnight. So what is required for a basic camping adventure? Assuming you have a car although I've seen some people camp with motorcycles and push bikes or just a backpack if you are ultra fit. Free camping spots book $50, two person tent $30, blow up mattress with pump $60, sleeping bag- no- take your doona, pillow- take your pillow, one burner stove with butane gas pressure packs $30 + $7 for 4 cans of gas, kettle, water container 20L, fry pan, cutlery, bucket for dishes etc. In the scheme of things it is cheap entertainment. One of the best accessories has been a solar powered light on a baseball cap for $30, where ever you look there is light. Keep it on your cars rear parcel shelf to charge. Shower? Shower tents are fold up for $45. 12 volt shower pump $15- just boil your kettle and add to cold water in the bucket = great shower. You can get a porta potti for $100 and place it in the shower tent. Want to move up to a camper trailer? Only have a 4 cylinder car? Search for motorcycle campers. They are smaller and lighter to tow but most still have a queen size bed. Add a trunk on the drawbar and you can add a fridge. Mount a dry cell battery under the camper floor wired up to charge by your towing vehicle. Motorcycle campers start at around $7000. Which ever way you do it - just do it funds permitting. It really is recharging your batteries. It can help you recover from a down period. It can contribute towards your relationships. Dont forget to take a book. Something soulful, comforting and educational. We have a book of Australian birds and we try to identify them. Take a telescope for the stars. Once I found Saturn in the night sky and I could just see its rings- amazing. Your mind needs rest. Camping is good.

splinter Eating Disorder/Anxiety eating (Trigger warning)
  • replies: 2

Hello,A few years ago I started a "health journey" and began working out to shape my body and began dieting. It started off really well and I felt and looked a lot better. After a while I became very obsessive with how I looked and began excessively ... View more

Hello,A few years ago I started a "health journey" and began working out to shape my body and began dieting. It started off really well and I felt and looked a lot better. After a while I became very obsessive with how I looked and began excessively excersising multiple times a day and severely restricting my diet. I developed a lot of health issues and it wasn't until I spoke to my doctor my parents and I realised I had an eating disorder. I was nearly 15 at the time and it took me about a year to get over my health issues and become in a positive mental space to eat and excersise without harming myself. I have felt very happy and carefree for a year now, I am now 17. However, I have started getting thoughts about my body again that have left me anxious and unsettled. I am beginning to feel uncomfortable in my body again and it is hard to focus whenever I'm eating as the guilt is beginning to consume me again. My family and friends don't know how to support me, so I haven't spoken to them about my concerns, but I am very anxious I will go back to being obsessive and affecting my health. I don't really know what help I'm asking for but I know talking here will be easier than talking to my family. Thankyou ❤

Agrowingman Learning to be honest with my self
  • replies: 3

I like drinking but it's affecting my relationships with family. It's a selfish thing. I keep losing my phone, wallet and keys every month or so. I know I should stop but I don't really want to. I think I may be covering pain with alcohol. View more

I like drinking but it's affecting my relationships with family. It's a selfish thing. I keep losing my phone, wallet and keys every month or so. I know I should stop but I don't really want to. I think I may be covering pain with alcohol.

Guest_95403700 Prioritising when multiple problems emerge
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone! Does anyone else feel like the whole world has turned to poo? In the past four years I’ve experienced workplace trauma, sexual assault and drifted apart from friends who have socially retreated for a number of reasons (mostly the times w... View more

Hi everyone! Does anyone else feel like the whole world has turned to poo? In the past four years I’ve experienced workplace trauma, sexual assault and drifted apart from friends who have socially retreated for a number of reasons (mostly the times we’re living in and I’ve sort of done the same thing!). I’m also facing housing issues and am now going through a bunch of stress with a major restructure at work which is becoming combative and draining. Having escaped a toxic work situation I’m worried about going down the same track. On top of all of this I’ve been contacted by a recruiter and am being interviewed for a big job interstate. Old me would have been super excited about the change and jumped at it, but it feels too hard and I haven’t had the headspace to prepare. The thought of leaving my very small support network (mostly family) also upsets me but I know deep down that I need to find a job before things get really bad. I adore my team but we’ll probably be disbanded anyway. Though, I don’t know this for sure yet. I should add that this new job would be a significant payrise and would be amazing for my CV and future. Due to all of the above, I’m suffering with anxiety and the occasional bout of depression, which has affected my confidence as well as my health. I’ve stacked on weight and am feeling it. How do I wade through all of this and prioritise in order to protect my wellbeing? Does anyone have journal prompts or tools they use when feeling overwhelmed? I’m very action oriented and pretty pragmatic but this is a lot! I’ve tried medication and counselling but haven’t had much luck. I feel really stuck and worry about my health mainly. My heart is often raising and I’m not moving my body or taking good care with my nutrition. It kind of feels like I’m in freeze mode. I’m single, female and in my 40s, living alone and given up on dating. Apologies for the lengthy post!

Moving forward happy Too skinny
  • replies: 4

I don’t know what to do, my sister growing up was always over weight and over recent years she has lost a lot and was loving how she looked, but in recent times her weight has dropped so much that it’s starting to scare me. She is very unhealthy, loo... View more

I don’t know what to do, my sister growing up was always over weight and over recent years she has lost a lot and was loving how she looked, but in recent times her weight has dropped so much that it’s starting to scare me. She is very unhealthy, looks like skin and bones but in her mind she still feels fat and panicks whenever she puts on any weight. I have spoken with her and tried to be as honest and open as I can be but I don’t know how to support her, I don’t know what to do next to actually get her the help that she needs, financially neither of us have a great deal of money either. If any one could tell me what worked for them or any resources I could use it would be much appreciated.

Gokul Hi everyone
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone. Just signed up today.

Hello everyone. Just signed up today.

Guest_35680393 Pmdd, housing crisis and life stages
  • replies: 2

Hi, it’s my first time posting and it’s been a rough day (or three years). I have recently learned I have PMDD and Cptsd and am feeling absolutely hopeless. The cycle PMDD makes everything worse, and symptoms of Cptsd can warp how I see things and na... View more

Hi, it’s my first time posting and it’s been a rough day (or three years). I have recently learned I have PMDD and Cptsd and am feeling absolutely hopeless. The cycle PMDD makes everything worse, and symptoms of Cptsd can warp how I see things and navigate situations. In the last three years, I have had a terrible break up that spun me out into years of rumination and reignited self hate and the feeling of being unlovable, I have had to move away from my chosen town and community back into my parents house as a result of the housing crisis, I have been diagnosed with a heart issue, Pmdd and cptsd, I have not been mentally well so have cut a lot of people out of my life, my dog died and I feel completely stuck in my life. I am so grateful and understand my privilege to be able to live with my parents but I have been really triggered and my mental health has gone down the drain. I’ve seen a psychologist for about a year but they really didn’t make a dent. I have applied to numerous rentals and have not got any. I moved into a sharehouse earlier this year but that was a disaster (it flooded).I have tried new hobbies, gone of friendship apps, tried asking friends of friends to meet up in order to make new connections and have had absolutely no new luck. My old friends from my home town have all moved away. it feels like the last three years I have tried and tried to live my own life and have been slapped in the face at every turn. I can’t get my own place, my own space and it’s stolen my independence from me. I feel so guilty for cutting off friends. I have treated my family so badly at times. I am embarrassed to be me. I just turned 30 and have nothing to show for it. I don’t know what to do.

white knight Wit - the only answer for torment?
  • replies: 8

:Like many confused souls on here, I have mental torment. I'm also vulnerable particularly prior to the last 5 years. Since then wisdom has grown- caught up to my 58 years near where it should be. A large part of my vulnerability has been lack of wit... View more

:Like many confused souls on here, I have mental torment. I'm also vulnerable particularly prior to the last 5 years. Since then wisdom has grown- caught up to my 58 years near where it should be. A large part of my vulnerability has been lack of wit. Countless times when I've been abused or slandered I've swallowed it and fumed for a long time. This has resulted in the "steamer effect", my term to describe the pressure cooker within.I havent had the wit to quickly react ideally in a cordial, calm and measured manner to my opponent. "Opponent". Yes we are talking duels here, a fact of life of fighting with other people, an act many find a part of normal life. Once, only once, I predicted a person, in this case my ex defacto partner, that she would approach me on a topic. If so I had an answer for her- I'd had a hobby of building model aircraft for 7 years. She didnt like me spending time at the field. She one day sta down and lit up a *** and said "how much do you think you have spent on your hobby in the last 7 years". I replied "$11,000". To which she replied "are you proud of that"? I replied "far better than the $35,000 you have spent on chain smoking cigarettes". The topic was abandoned. And the topic never resurfaced. I call that premeditated WIT. But premeditated wit does not exist IMO. It was planned to equalise an onslaught of criticism that I believed was not necessary. So, I've seen people in my many workplaces use wit as quick as lightning. A response that leaves the aggressor in their wake or commences a debate. But I dont have that automatic response mechanism in my brain. What is the result of that absence? Torment!! And the long term effect- hibernation. In my case, as stated many times now- hibernation means not locking myself away but some withdrawal from society. Fewer of all people in the end. Fewer meetings with people, fewer clubs to join, fewer facebook friends etc. Effectively, rather than growing wit, I've compensated with less people of whom could hurt me with contact in the first place. The result is less torment. And a happier life. Do any of you have ideas on finding wit? For me I'd need to be on my toes constantly, viewing everyone as a potential enemy. I just want to respond to those abusers out there in an automatic way, to guard myself against humans that feed from nastiness.....

white knight NIP IT IN THE BUD...ideas
  • replies: 5

One self help idea struck me like a bolt of lightning today. I had ordered a kebab that was on special $8 which included a can of drink. One guy took my order. He asked for my name to write it on the bag and I replied "handsome" as a joke. We laughed... View more

One self help idea struck me like a bolt of lightning today. I had ordered a kebab that was on special $8 which included a can of drink. One guy took my order. He asked for my name to write it on the bag and I replied "handsome" as a joke. We laughed and I sat and waited. Then when the second guy was "assembling" my kebab I saw some carrot and asked him if he could put some on. I had assumed that as I knocked back onion then added carrot- no big deal. The man said in a loud voice, " I will but you should have told my friend you wanted carrot when you ordered". I said "ok mate". He then repeated himself almost word for word. I repeated "ok mate". He voice even louder he repeated himself a third time. I took $3 out of my pocket and placed it on the counter right in front of him. He asked "what's this for"? I said "a bunch of the highest quality carrots". In the next 2 minutes while he finished packaging the kebab he tried to smooth things over But I was fine, I had stopped the lecture, stopped the feeling of being trapped that was dictated by him and my anxiety. It drenched the conversation and took away his power and thrills. Previously I'd never have thought of easy ways to deal with such situations. I would have allowed this egotist to squash me then spent the day hurt and angry. His display was far over the top for the situation. I've found that to reduce anxiety I need closure to a situation. And as quickly as I can. But in a measured way and not in a confrontational way otherwise the guilt will remain and upset the result. I've often wondered why I love to brainstorm others. It's partly because I lack a little confidence but it is also because it makes sense to get many others opinions so you can makes choices based on many ideas and input through others eyes. If you are over confident and well...lets say arrogant, you might trip over your yourself due to not consulting others. Unless you are well qualified in a field, like a profession, then you can do so. Do you have any other ideas, easy ideas by which you can share here that would help to deal with situations that most likely would lead to anxiety, guilt, shame or depression?